Russian Women Discussion

RWD Discussion Groups => Introductions and Ice-Breaker => Topic started by: marc63 on April 19, 2019, 08:19:44 PM

Title: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: marc63 on April 19, 2019, 08:19:44 PM
Evening all, I am new here and just wanted to say hello to everybody from the sunny UK.
The reason I joined was to ask if I may have gotten lucky with my first foray into online dating, basically I signed up to an online dating site and within days was emailing 5 different women, within as many days 4 of them dropped away as they all asked for money for whatever catastrophe had befallen them lol.

However one remained , a really nice 45 year old RW with whom I have been corresponding for 3 weeks now. My concern is quite simple in as much as I cannot see any way in which she is being insincere to me , and I know that sounds strange cos that's what we are all looking for but I sadly try and find fault as things that seem too true normally are.

We have exchanged countless photos and talked about eachothers lives, she has no desire to live outside of Russia has a great job which she loves and in her words is just lonely. She has asked for my mobile number and has promised to call over the weekend and wants for us to meet in person and I just wanted to ask some of you who have been doing this for some time now can you see any potential pit falls ahead of me that I am being blinded by other than the obvious lack of physical chemistry when we do eventually meet.

Thanks for reading my ramble and I hope to hear from people soon
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Grumpy on April 19, 2019, 08:37:18 PM
 :welcome:  Wish you the best of luck.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: krimster2 on April 19, 2019, 08:43:58 PM
hey there...
I see you're from Dorset, lovely place...

tell us a bit more about yourself, age, profession, marriage background, etc
if she's not interested in leaving Russia, how does that factor into your future with her?

most of the pitfalls I see relate to the "hunter" and not the "game" if you get my metaphor...
you will have much to learn

it's only a 5 hour journey from London to Kyiv
look for posts on this web site from a guy named Trench, you can PM him
he found plane tickets from UK to Kyiv for a small price I believe 50 pounds
airbnb can rent you in apartment in kyiv for 30 pounds a day
you could spend a week in Kyiv for just a few hundred quid and you would learn a lot!!!!


Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: ML on April 19, 2019, 08:44:17 PM
Of course there are dozens of pitfalls potentially ahead for you with  this or any woman.

And also possible that you have lucked out.

You need to do a ton of reading here which will help you sort out in your own mind what the probabilities are for the different future scenarios.

Biggest problem for you in my opinion is if you concentrate only on this gal and do not continue to pursue possibilities with other gals that you could visit with on a future trip.

Others will disagree and will (in effect) want to place all your available time and money on purchasing a lottery ticket.

Are you the type who will place all of your retirement money into one stock, or do you diversify your retirement portfolio?
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: marc63 on April 19, 2019, 08:56:44 PM
Krimster2..i am 55 and widowed, I work in a well known hotel as a receptionist , I was born in England but my father was Polish and for the right person I have no problem relocating as I have never considered England as home.


ML...I did a tonne of reading before registering lol and I have eliminated a lot of potential women but this one just seems totally legit but I shall tread on egg shells and do some more reading
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: krimster2 on April 19, 2019, 09:14:12 PM
OK, I get it...

if you feel "alienated" in the country of your birth
multiply that feeling by 100 and that's how you will feel in Russia
and you will have to cope with 100 problems you won't have to cope with in the UK

my advice
look for a woman who will come to you
make a life together and you will not feel alone
be realistic
age 55, and you're not the Duke of York
you can pull a woman 40+  - younger if you can cope with a single mom
look for a woman with English language skills and who has a professional background that would make it possible for her to be employed in the UK
anything else is "folly" I'm afraid...

Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Davo on April 19, 2019, 10:52:19 PM
Welcome )

That’s a good age to look for a woman, you probably have a better chance of finding a genuine woman first time (in her 40’s).  I found some very nice middle aged women online and recently met  one in Russia. I didn’t find any red flags with her and had the “too good to be true feeling” from the start. Despite all the horror stories, she turned out to be exactly who she presented herself to be online.

My impression is they are fully aware of the mob / scammer stereotype associated with FSUW and will say things to reassure you (not deceptively), like act uncertain about moving. At that age they want to have a partner alongside them more than anything. She wouldn’t waste time chatting with foreign men, if she wasn’t considering relocating, obviously for the right Man. 

The woman I met is considering giving up a comfortable life, a great job and lots of family and friends if things go well between us next time we meet. It’s a huge sacrifice to make.

If it wasn’t for my kids, I’d move to her city as she lives a very similar lifestyle to me and has all the luxuries I have in my home city. If anything I would say their supermarkets and restaurants are better in many respects. Definitely their shopping hours are.

 Right now video calling is your best option to see exactly who she is. If she comes up with excuses not to, you have your first major red flag.

Good luck!! 😊
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: msmob on April 20, 2019, 02:39:59 AM
Welcome, marc63

So, she doesn't want to leave RU and you'd happily leave the UK


But how would you 'survive' in Russia ?


Can't see how exchanging emails and photos is anything but good for both of you ! ;)


Good luck

Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: krimster2 on April 20, 2019, 03:55:03 AM
"Can't see how exchanging emails and photos is anything but good for both of you ! ;)"

yes, however be aware of "first letter syndrome"....
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Gator on April 20, 2019, 04:25:59 AM
Marc,

 :welcome:

One word......... SKYPE. 

One sentence.........Consider Krimster's following words as the golden truth

 
Quote
if you feel "alienated" in the country of your birth
multiply that feeling by 100 and that's how you will feel in Russia
and you will have to cope with 100 problems you won't have to cope with in the UK 

One question..........Does the agency where you discovered this woman operate on a  PPL (pay per letter)?   It seems "no" given she has revealed her mobile number.   However, if "yes," for sure get on Skype now.

My experience...............  My wife did not want to leave Russia.  I would never relocate (I love golf, etc.).   I appreciated her honesty, yet she posed a challenge.  A "challenge" is IMO the exact type of woman you should try to woo.  However, it could take a couple of years of dating. 

                             

Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: GenMish on April 20, 2019, 04:30:36 AM
Someone with native English skills in the hospitality industry could probably find work in Russia, but why? You would take a huge paycut and most likely hate living there.

Its time to cut bait

If you two really like each other, if she has the great job with ties to Russia, she can probably get a tourist visa to visit you. And that might be what she is looking for, romance with a Western Man and visit his country
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: 2tallbill on April 20, 2019, 07:01:56 AM
We have exchanged countless photos and talked about each others lives, she has no desire to live outside of Russia has a great job which she loves and in her words is just lonely. She has asked for my mobile number and has promised to call over the weekend and wants for us to meet in person and I just wanted to ask some of you who have been doing this for some time now can you see any potential pit falls ahead of me that I am being blinded by other than the obvious lack of physical chemistry when we do eventually meet.

Thanks for reading my ramble and I hope to hear from people soon

If things work out will she move to Blighty to be with you?

IF SO,

You need to remain cautiously optimistic and keep moving towards meeting
her. Often times it doesn't work out*

IF NOT,

Then I don't see any reason to keep moving forward with this woman.

Udachi!

Bill

*You can read where things didn't workout many times but eventually did for
me at this link http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=3432.0
Title: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: 2tallbill on April 20, 2019, 07:03:09 AM
yes, however be aware of "first letter syndrome"....

Could you elaborate? I am unfamiliar with the phrase.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: krimster2 on April 20, 2019, 07:30:09 AM
"Could you elaborate? I am unfamiliar with the phrase."

guys getting "hung up" over their first letter....
and getting "over-invested" even if it's not a good fit...
because "something" is better than "nothing" they don't want to let go when they should...
Title: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: 2tallbill on April 20, 2019, 07:59:28 AM
"and getting "over-invested" even if it's not a good fit...

I see,

Yes, that happens quite a bit. I've been there and done that myself
and it's really easy to do. You really want there to be mutual chemistry
etc and you really want this gal to be THE gal but sometimes the fickle
fingers of fate won't cooperate, then you have to start all over again.

That is why I usually suggest being cautiously optimistic but also having
a backup plan.

Udachi!

Bill
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Faux Pas on April 22, 2019, 11:02:25 AM
marc,
If this is the way you see yourself actually finding a partner, you've got to start somewhere. So far this lady has raised no flags. That is a good thing. Assume she is legit until you have a reason not to. There is a lot of gaming out there but there is a good deal of sincerity, too. Speak on the phone, get on skpye and all those things. Get as interpersonal as you can given the situation. The answers to your questions will begin to reveal themselves. 3 weeks might be a bit too early to plan a trip to meet her but you're not far off from making those arrangements. She may be perfectly happy with everything in her life except the loneliness. That doesn't mean she wouldn't leave that life in a heartbeat for the right man. Play it out, see where it leads
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Trenchcoat on April 24, 2019, 11:59:16 AM
 :welcome: Marc

Where abouts in Russia is your lady from?

It sounds like you would consider living wherever it is though you have not been yet. Most women in their 40s are past the age the scamming industry find useful, so she's probably ok.

I would say take a visit to see her after you have Skyped. Use it as a holiday and get to know about of Russia hopefully with your lady's help in showing you around. There's no telling if there is chemistry till you meet so no need to get to wrapped up in plans now on that. If you meet and there is no chemistry then it's all a lot of concern over moving to another country for nothing, unless you later find another girl of course.

As to the thread title I would say it is quite easy to find women in Russia, Ukraine, etc who are friendly and feminine who will message a guy a lot, so it's not that lucky. It's far more lucky to find that there is natural chemistry with the girl you have been messaging/skyping when you land and meet her. Now that would be lucky to get first time, a guy occasionally does but most don't and that's not so great when that happens.

I think just arriving in another country you have not visited before can be enough of a culture shock. I found it took several visits and often a few days into visits before I got acclimatised. Learning a bit of spoken Russian can be handy to help feel a bit more at ease in the culture though that tends to take time as I am finding. Also think about how you are going to support yourself out in Russia. Good luck.

Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: John Gaunt on April 24, 2019, 12:50:51 PM
:welcome: Marc

Where abouts in Russia is your lady from?

It sounds like you would consider living wherever it is though you have not been yet. Most women in their 40s are past the age the scamming industry find useful, so she's probably ok.

I would say take a visit to see her after you have Skyped. Use it as a holiday and get to know about of Russia hopefully with your lady's help in showing you around. There's no telling if there is chemistry till you meet so no need to get to wrapped up in plans now on that. If you meet and there is no chemistry then it's all a lot of concern over moving to another country for nothing, unless you later find another girl of course.

As to the thread title I would say it is quite easy to find women in Russia, Ukraine, etc who are friendly and feminine who will message a guy a lot, so it's not that lucky. It's far more lucky to find that there is natural chemistry with the girl you have been messaging/skyping when you land and meet her. Now that would be lucky to get first time, a guy occasionally does but most don't and that's not so great when that happens.

I think just arriving in another country you have not visited before can be enough of a culture shock. I found it took several visits and often a few days into visits before I got acclimatised. Learning a bit of spoken Russian can be handy to help feel a bit more at ease in the culture though that tends to take time as I am finding. Also think about how you are going to support yourself out in Russia. Good luck.
Our resident expert[/b] is dishing out ‘advice’.
OP, be warned.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Jamesukjames on April 24, 2019, 01:17:39 PM
Marc use whats app or viber on your phone to video call.  Having been raised by a Belarus grandmother I totally understand the not feeling settled in the UK feeling and if I didn't have children who live in the UK I would certainly be considering relocating to the FSU .  Go visit her and have a great holiday.  50 50 odds on her being a good person.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: msmob on April 24, 2019, 02:01:40 PM
  Most women in their 40s are past the age the scamming industry find useful, so she's probably ok.

Generalisation without any experience #1 ..Marc - do not listen to ANYTHING trench posts - he is clueless about FSU W and women in general ,,, 


I would say take a visit to see her after you have Skyped.


Howler #2 :

))

Trench has been exposing how 'skyping beforehand is a waste of time', just recently ... So - once again - he is posting 'advice' - which conflicts with his own stance ..

Trench - why are you 'advising' Marc when you are crap at this game ?



Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Trenchcoat on April 25, 2019, 04:44:58 AM
Generalisation without any experience #1 ..Marc - do not listen to ANYTHING trench posts - he is clueless about FSU W and women in general ,,, 


Howler #2 :

))

Trench has been exposing how 'skyping beforehand is a waste of time', just recently ... So - once again - he is posting 'advice' - which conflicts with his own stance ..

Trench - why are you 'advising' Marc when you are crap at this game ?

It depends on what method you are using on whether to Skype. If it's a meet one then of course Skype as you don't want to go on a long journey where Skype might have proven it needless as you didn't get on as well in conversation as in messaging, or the girl looks ugly than in her photos or whatever. If he was was going out to meet many women then unless he has much time on his hands it's a bit pointless as you're playing the numbers game to offset the ones that aren't all that great.

I would not say I'm crap at this game. Some guys go in wallet waving and then pronounce good they are at it when chicks readily take them up. Other guys are just looking for a companion in their old age, nothing wrong with that but the task is a more simple one.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Nightwish on April 25, 2019, 04:50:32 AM
It depends on what method you are using on whether to Skype. If it's a meet one then of course Skype as you don't want to go on a long journey where Skype might have proven it needless as you didn't get on as well in conversation as in messaging, or the girl looks ugly than in her photos or whatever. If he was was going out to meet many women then unless he has much time on his hands it's a bit pointless as you're playing the numbers game to offset the ones that aren't all that great.

I would not say I'm crap at this game. Some guys go in wallet waving and then pronounce good they are at it when chicks readily take them up. Other guys are just looking for a companion in their old age, nothing wrong with that but the task is a more simple one.

just the fact your calling this a game shows what your true intentions are..reeeal serious....

and yes, you are really crappy at this game -  two whole weeks in Ukraine and you only manage to get two dates where you got shot down on both, that's a failure in everyone's book especially since you explicitly went there to meet women and go on dates.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Hammer2722 on April 25, 2019, 06:56:38 AM
Welcome Marc, by all means continue to talk with this lady. See what shakes out but don't start looking for red flags where there are none.

I will agree with others here to Skype as much as possible.

DEFINITELY, do not take any women dating advice from Trench. He has proven himself to be absolutely clueless with no signs of ever getting the messages that other members here have given him.....Good luck!
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: marc63 on April 25, 2019, 07:03:38 AM
Sorry been busy but thanks for most of the advice so far and here is an update, after messaging eachother every day and the exchange of several videos of special occasions such as a friends wedding she attended last weekend she has just said she would love to come over to England in 3 weeks time to meet me....I am obviously thrilled with this development so sorry for the negativity but this is really good right !!!
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Hammer2722 on April 25, 2019, 07:09:49 AM
Sorry been busy but thanks for most of the advice so far and here is an update, after messaging eachother every day and the exchange of several videos of special occasions such as a friends wedding she attended last weekend she has just said she would love to come over to England in 3 weeks time to meet me....I am obviously thrilled with this development so sorry for the negativity but this is really good right !!!

Its very good news, as long as very sudden requests for money to pay for visas and other catastrophes start to crop up. In that case, you should offer to come see her.....
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: krimster2 on April 25, 2019, 07:18:20 AM
yeah, what Hammer said
until you know her better, keep your eyes open
if she's a shark, she may think you're a snack....
on the other hand she might be a mermaid...

your residence better be spotless when she arrives!!!!
learn to take your shoes off when on the inside, RW don't like people walking with their outside shoes on the inside floor!
find out as much as you can about the things she likes, food, things to see and so forth
you are going to have to take her shopping whether you like it or not...
my wife blew a ton o' money at Harrod's and other shops on Kensington...
I assume she will be "staying with you"?
don't sleep with her for the first 3 nights...
see to her every comfort...
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Gator on April 25, 2019, 07:32:14 AM
...she has just said she would love to come over to England in 3 weeks time to meet me....I am obviously thrilled with this development so sorry for the negativity but this is really good right !!!

Does she need a visa?   I am assuming you are planning to pay for her air flight.  Rather than wiring her money for the flight, you should buy the ticket directly. 

Years ago a number of men were scammed when they wired money to FSUW for air ticket and visa, and the women disappeared with the money.   
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Davo on April 25, 2019, 07:55:12 AM
Sent a pm, it is very hard bordering on impossible to get a Russian tourist visa for a lot of our countries atm..... even with the best credentials. I found this out the hard way a year ago.

I was only talking to “k” and a member about this tonight. It’s Rediculous that you basically have to get engaged or married before a women can set foot in your country.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Blighty on April 25, 2019, 08:44:14 AM
Sorry been busy but thanks for most of the advice so far and here is an update, after messaging eachother every day and the exchange of several videos of special occasions such as a friends wedding she attended last weekend she has just said she would love to come over to England in 3 weeks time to meet me....I am obviously thrilled with this development so sorry for the negativity but this is really good right !!!

This is possible based on last month's visa applications which mostly took 10 days after the visa interview ... see http://visa-processingtimes.homeoffice.gov.uk/y/moscow-russian-federation/visits-visas/general-visit-6-months-or-less

A good (if dated) guide of how to apply online for a visit visa ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcUxaw88Nkw

Take care!
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Davo on April 25, 2019, 08:51:21 AM
If Marc gives this a go, is it better that he is a sponsor of the visa or distances himself totally from it?, given they are essentially strangers.

I suspect being a sponsor didn’t help my situation.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Patagonie on April 25, 2019, 08:51:58 AM
Sent a pm, it is very hard bordering on impossible to get a Russian tourist visa for a lot of our countries atm..... even with the best credentials. I found this out the hard way a year ago.

I was only talking to “k” and a member about this tonight. It’s Rediculous that you basically have to get engaged or married before a women can set foot in your country.
That's the problem of countries where you need a visa any times.
THat was Ukraine was before, especially if your embassy was pressing the brake for every files.
So that was a constant hassle to get the visa, knowing that some women would be denied for the first one, an after good luck, better to change of women.

It's why the random contacts girls first, set an online chemistry, put your foot in her city don't work at the end.
It's better to have a strategy and to stick on it.
For me that's simple, having gone through multiple visas as a huge burden before my marriage, it's no longer that i want to live again such hassle (ex wifey made 7 trips 2x500 kilometers to go to the embassy if i have good memory), it tells you that she was sharing her part of the burden (and more than me at this time).
So women from Russia, no. Women from Donetsk, Lugansk, Crimea, NO.

As Mendy said, choose a city you like not too big, not too small and if you cannot find a lady in a half or million city, it says more about your dating problems than international dating problems.
And the european 90/180 visa working now for more than a year and half is just opening a LOT of possibilities.
That's simply why in Ukraine air traffic is so booming.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Davo on April 25, 2019, 08:57:55 AM
That's the problem of countries where you need a visa any times.
THat was Ukraine was before, especially if your embassy was pressing the brake for every files.
So that was a constant hassle to get the visa, knowing that some women would be denied for the first one, an after good luck, better to change of women.

It's why the random contacts girls first, set an online chemistry, put your foot in her city don't work at the end.
It's better to have a strategy and to stick on it.
For me that's simple, having gone through multiple visas as a huge burden before my marriage, it's no longer that i want to live again such hassle (ex wifey made 7 trips 2x500 kilometers to go to the embassy if i have good memory), it tells you that she was sharing her part of the burden (and more than me at this time).
So women from Russia, no. Women from Donetsk, Lugansk, Crimea, NO.

As Mendy said, choose a city you like not too big, not too small and if you cannot find a lady in a half or million city, it says more about your dating problems than international dating problems.
And the european 90/180 visa working now for more than a year and half is just opening a LOT of possibilities.
That's simply why in Ukraine air traffic is so booming.

In your opinion would a denied tourist visa cause issues when you apply for a spouse visa?
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Patagonie on April 25, 2019, 09:01:19 AM
In your opinion would a denied tourist visa cause issues when you apply for a spouse visa?
Absolutely, embassy could think that this lady uses a dishonest way to enter in the country, something like this. Or she asked a type of visa but tried to trick the authorities.
If i were working in officials i would think something like this.
 
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Patagonie on April 25, 2019, 09:06:06 AM
If i have good memory i think that i warned already about this type of issues.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: krimster2 on April 25, 2019, 09:54:50 AM
"In your opinion would a denied tourist visa cause issues when you apply for a spouse visa? "

not conclusively...
it depends on why the tourist visa was rejected, which of course they won't tell you, so you need to guess
if it's financially based, then this criteria is removed when you become her sponsor
for example, got a fiancee visa for my wife with zero problem, smooth sailing every step of the way
later I invited my wife's sister to the USA (she's married with 2 small children) it was rejected...
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Blighty on April 25, 2019, 10:25:43 AM
If Marc gives this a go, is it better that he is a sponsor of the visa or distances himself totally from it?, given they are essentially strangers.

I suspect being a sponsor didn’t help my situation.

The UK visitor visa test is ... will that person return to their home country? The current view seems to be that boyfriends/girlfriends are at a high risk of overstaying. It all depends on her financial position and reason to return to her home country. It is advisable that she is merely coming as a tourist, and without any mention of Marc.

Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: marc63 on April 25, 2019, 03:19:33 PM
Ok so if asked I do not sponsor her....sounds logical to me
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Jamesukjames on April 25, 2019, 03:33:57 PM
Marc been there done it.  Unlikely she will get a visitor visa.  Any mention of visiting you rather than a hotel and the visa people will throw the application out.  Timescale is too short to get a visa.  So the answer is get on a plane and visit the real her in her home town or meet in Cyprus and meet the holiday version of her .
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: marc63 on April 25, 2019, 03:45:43 PM
James that was the initial plan for me to go out mid june but she suddenly flipped it and proposed coming to me , she has 3 weeks left to work and then she has 30 days vacation...I think the timeframe is do-able but I am guessing she will state she is going to stay with me but I still think her application will be rejected and its back to plan a lol
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Jamesukjames on April 25, 2019, 04:06:35 PM
Well she could book a hotel for 2 nights and then go on a grand tour...….of your house.....I mean different hotels.  The problem is they look at her finances  too much money she doesn't get a visa too little money she doesn't get a visa.  Problem is the rejection letters are so rude she may never want to speak to an English person again.  See if you can rebuild a relationship after the British visa people tell her they suspect she will work as a prostitute on her 30 day English holiday.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: 2tallbill on April 25, 2019, 08:28:37 PM
James that was the initial plan for me to go out mid june but she suddenly flipped it and proposed coming to me , she has 3 weeks left to work and then she has 30 days vacation...I think the timeframe is do-able but I am guessing she will state she is going to stay with me but I still think her application will be rejected and its back to plan a lol

Angel Eyes got a Schengen visa first for a trip to Spain, then she was
accepted for a US Visa. You might try getting that first it might be easier
and after she goes back home her chances should probably be increased.

Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Patagonie on April 25, 2019, 09:02:59 PM
Oh, i just remember something important. Longer the visa is and more chances the visa has to be rejected, especially the first one. It's maximum one or two weeks.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: tfcrew on April 25, 2019, 09:10:10 PM
..3 weeks left to work and then she has 30 days vacation...... she will state she is going to stay with me but I still think her application will be rejected...
I know nothing about UK regs but US regs? Would never fly. Esp if stating "going to stay with you." [without absolute proof of return] There is no mention of a previous marriage...children? [grown?] Hometown? Occupation? Anyway...with the expressed statement that this lady wishes not to leave Russia *forever and you just want to vacation and hang out...I would suggest a neutral location [wasn't Spain mentioned?] Germany or Poland is great if do-able. Keep posting.
*Isn't that what you wrote?--She doesn't want to move away from Russia?
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: marc63 on April 25, 2019, 09:45:45 PM
tfcrew...she is divorced with  one grown child who is married, she has worked as a sports coach for 20 plus years and lives in Votkinsk and has never really expressed an interest in leaving Russia but I have never pressed her on it as she loves her job and family
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: krimster2 on April 25, 2019, 10:20:58 PM
"Votkinsk"

oh my....
marc....marc...marc...

WTF do you think you would do in Votkinsk?
let me guess... you're planning on working as an English teacher?
how do you think health care in Votkinsk will compare to the NHS?  I hope you have ZERO and I mean ZERO health care issues, now and in the future, otherwise... you gonna die!!!

where would you be after giving up your life in the UK and then 5 years later things didn't work out for you and Ms. Votkinsk...
I'm curious what you expect this woman (who you really don't know AT ALL) is going to to give you that makes it worth your while to completely abandon your current life
note: generally not a problem for someone going the other direction any more than it is for a prisoner leaving a maximum security prison to live in a mansion in SOHO
but you're advocating going to prison for love, not a good thing unless you're a Decemberist and not a good thing unless there ACTUALLY is some LOVE...
and I hate to break this news to you - but there ain't any LOVE in your relationship with Ms. Votkinsk (this tends to take awhile, years maybe...)

are things REALLY that bad for you in the UK, that you'd throw away EVERYTHING for the hope you will find some happiness with Ms. Votkinsk?
I lived 3 years in Crimea, and when I was left I was as ecstatic as a little girl who got a pony for Christmas, and I lived like a freaking Czar there...
you might want to curb your enthusiasm until you experienced life there

have fun with your "friend" but don't get stuck in your 'dream' because that's all it really is
if you're totally set on an FSU woman, find one who will come to you
or do you feel that Ms. Votkinsk is your one and ONLY choice and it's her no matter where or how or else remain a resident of lonesomeville forever more...
that seems a desperate gamble to me, and the odds are way against you my friend

step back and think about what I'm saying
you're not the first lonely man to feel this way
sorry to give you the "tough love" my brother, but someone who's "been there" needs to!!
and it's my turn at that duty this week...
you need to firmly decide what YOU WANT and find someone who will fit with that
rather than doing whatever it takes to be with Ms. Votkinsk...
even if it means living in (shudder) Votkinsk...
no...no...no...



 
 
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Trenchcoat on April 26, 2019, 01:26:24 AM
Sorry been busy but thanks for most of the advice so far and here is an update, after messaging eachother every day and the exchange of several videos of special occasions such as a friends wedding she attended last weekend she has just said she would love to come over to England in 3 weeks time to meet me....I am obviously thrilled with this development so sorry for the negativity but this is really good right !!!

Not necessarily, you've not yet met and she wants to visit you. There's good reason the UK Visa service turn visas down. You essentially don't know this woman, if UK Visa service was to accept visas from everyone like this they could be faced with a load of people that just bolt on arrival into the UK and don't get picked up for years.

As said she would have to do it alone and stay in a hotel. They would undoubtedly want to see hotel booking for length of stay and a return flight. You on the application sponsoring her in would almost certainly sink her chances. The Visa Service would want to know where you have met and how often and for how long you have known each other. Beyond that as said they need to sufficiently feel she would return after her stay. If she has a good job, kids she needs to support and other visa countries she has returned from that is likely to help.

I personally think it would be better for you to go see her, for Russia the visa process will almost certainly be far quicker, easier and more successful for you. You just fill out the form online, print it off and take it too the Russian Visa Service and pay your money about £100 or so for a tourist visa, once you know where you are staying, etc.

I personally don't like the way she is being so forward up front about visiting you. It may not be a problem, she may be legit, but I don't think it is a good thing so early in the day. I think you need to be firm and take back charge. Never let a FSW run the show, tell her that you will visit her first, that it will save her the visa ordeal, accept nothing else. It's important for you to see her first and find out first hand about her life and not be told by her what is happening and when.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: marc63 on April 26, 2019, 08:09:45 AM
Krimster2 I agree with what you said and the final nail in the coffin is that she has now said she is coming to the uk for her entire 30 day vacation, never asked if I could get the time off as well which I cant, and that my planned trip to Russia cannot go ahead as she will have no vacation left ...so that's the end of that but it has been a very interesting first dip into the waters and thanks to lots of excellent advice I feel I have learnt a lot already so thank you to all of you...oh and out of interest we met on an English dating site which now is a huge red flag to start with , but as I said loads to learn from here on in
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: ML on April 26, 2019, 08:14:49 AM
Hey . . . I wouldn't discourage her from coming for 30 days.
Sure, you might say that you now know there can be no long term relationship.
But what's to prevent you from sharing several days with a good looking woman who arrives on your doorstep???

This is all presuming she doesn't start asking you for money to 'help' her get there.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: marc63 on April 26, 2019, 08:17:59 AM
she cant afford to buy a new mobile phone so we can keep in touch but can afford to travel to the uk for 30 days ...no ta plus she is already starting to hint at the cost, nope im out lol
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: krimster2 on April 26, 2019, 08:35:45 AM
marc, count it as a learning experience...
you've made the right conclusion
but you're starting to understand the territory.....

how much time CAN you take off?
if you can get the time off, I'd recommend a trip to Ukraine
you can pull off a trip for under 1000 pounds....
IMHO, you have a better chance of going in person and meeting someone (how I met my wife)
even if you didn't, you would not be disappointed in such a journey...
I know the loss you feel is painful and disappointing
but it would have been MUCH more if you continued...

BTW, you mentioned you have Polish ethnicity...
do you still have family there?
if so, you may want to consider that an option
having family there, may provide you with an "edge"
I've been to Poland and there are some VERY nice wimmin there!!!

Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Davo on April 26, 2019, 09:07:44 AM
she cant afford to buy a new mobile phone so we can keep in touch but can afford to travel to the uk for 30 days ...no ta plus she is already starting to hint at the cost, nope im out lol

From what you have told me via pm, you’re thinking with your head. There are some serious red flags.

I happen to have met a guy who has a home in Ufa, very close to her city. After a discussion today he said that internet speed is great in their area and particularly in her city. He said no one has internet problems, it’s good in all Russian cities. I found the same thing. It’s better than many places in Australia as far as speed. It’s occasionally my internet that causes issues video chatting and even then it’s only a little laggy.

All indicators point to a scammer. Her excuses not to video chat (typical scammer behaviour). Her very affectionate messages early on, even before she has seen your face or talked to you, is very unusual for a woman of this age, but typical of a scammer. The non existent internet issue, the broken phone, calling you from somewhere that can’t be traced, and finally the interest in visiting you, which put together with the other red flags, makes your situation a classic start to an airfare/ visa scam.

Get on fdating today and you’ll find many genuine 40+ women 😊

Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Faux Pas on April 26, 2019, 11:00:47 AM
With those latest revelations you have your red flag. It appears the shoe is about to drop. Approach with caution
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Patagonie on April 26, 2019, 11:24:26 AM
Rule number 1 : you go where she lives.You meet her there, and when you start to have a real relationship with her you start to travel.

In some cases you can meet in a between country or city, but that's not really the best.
You normally avoid the local BF/husbands or could detect it though her mobile traffic.

You avoid the headache of visas, visa denied, wrong visa,
You avoid the problem to guarantee her travail (as generally many don't have lets say 60€ per day multiply by number of days on their account.

You avoid to loose the flight or the travel package is she changes her mind.

You show that you have two.
A lot of direct and indirect scammer, prodater get cold (i wrote a lot, i don't say all, some will scam you later, i met myself two of them)
Title: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: 2tallbill on April 27, 2019, 09:45:35 AM
tfcrew...she is divorced with  one grown child who is married, she has worked as a sports coach for 20 plus years and lives in Votkinsk and has never really expressed an interest in leaving Russia but I have never pressed her on it as she loves her job and family

How and why did she cross paths with you?


she cant afford to buy a new mobile phone so we can keep in touch but can afford to travel to the uk for 30 days ...no ta plus she is already starting to hint at the cost, nope im out lol

Scam alert
A every Russian woman has a smart phone. A 16 year old girl who lives in a hut
made out of mud, twigs and walrus hides has a smart phone. 

Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: mhr7 on April 27, 2019, 03:50:39 PM
Scam alert
A every Russian woman has a smart phone. A 16 year old girl who lives in a hut
made out of mud, twigs and walrus hides has a smart phone.

Exactly, Russian women have smart phones, even if it means going without eating for a month they'll have one.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: msmob on April 28, 2019, 02:05:17 AM
Whilst I think Marc had encountered a lady who considered him a 'mark', I know a few Russian ladies who still don't have smart phones..

But they are of that generation who do not use the net and the international dating scene...



Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Trenchcoat on April 28, 2019, 05:55:31 AM
Think Marc said he used an English dating site, if he means something like Match then it is known that some scammer Russian ladies hang out there. Probably the guys there are less well versed in their behaviour than on the Russian dating sites. Like someone has said I too would recommend the fdating website too, it's free and an easy one to just jump into and get going with. Now he has experience of dealing with a scammer he'll notice girls that may be a bit suspect as he communicates with them.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Blighty on April 28, 2019, 06:28:13 AM
... would recommend the fdating website too, it's free and an easy one to just jump into and get going with ...

Sorry TC but you are an old skinflint! A monthly membership on a typical international dating site is fairly inexpensive compared with the overall costs of this game.  My own experience was spending about $100 over 3 months and meeting my wife. Success rather than skinflintery should be TC's primary aim!
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: ML on April 28, 2019, 10:43:28 AM
Sorry TC but you are an old skinflint! A monthly membership on a typical international dating site is fairly inexpensive compared with the overall costs of this game.  My own experience was spending about $100 over 3 months and meeting my wife. Success rather than skinflintery should be TC's primary aim!

Nothing at all wrong with using or recommending free dating websites.

I used the free ones along with the monthly subscription ones.

I only avoided those that were pay per contact or pay per letter.
Title: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: 2tallbill on April 30, 2019, 12:48:20 PM
Whilst I think Marc had encountered a lady who considered him a 'mark', I know a few
Russian ladies who still don't have smart phones..

But they are of that generation who do not use the net and the international dating scene...

Exactly,

Angel Eye's Mamma had an ordinary flip phone and when she was
presented with a smart phone she hated it. I think she is still using
the smart phone, but I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't.

I think that we could reasonably conclude that ANY Russian woman
who uses the internet for interacting with a Western man has a smart
phone. Everyone of them who says they don't are pulling something.

How about this as Commandment #11
ANY FSUW that you've contacted has a smart phone. All FSUW have
a cell phone.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: ML on April 30, 2019, 01:05:27 PM
Not the typical I know, but . . .

My wife did not have a Smart Phone until 2 years ago.
And her Mother in Ukraine does not have a Smart Phone.

Wife still did not really need a Smart Phone, but some relatives she wanted to talk on phone with started using Viber a lot.  So we got her the Smart Phone just for that purpose.  She doesn't even give out her mobile phone number to people here in USA, except me.

Now we are talking about her taking a Smart Phone to Ukraine for her Mother; again just for the purpose of talking on Viber.

And just for the record, wife knows several women in Ukraine, even those younger than 40, who do not have a Smart Phone.

Actually I think most of those who have Smart Phones (everywhere in world) are not too smart.

I still have my flip phone and only use it when I am away from the house to call wife to tell her where I am and when I will return.  I haven't given out the number to anyone else.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Trenchcoat on April 30, 2019, 01:21:21 PM
Not the typical I know, but . . .

My wife did not have a Smart Phone until 2 years ago.
And her Mother in Ukraine does not have a Smart Phone.

Wife still did not really need a Smart Phone, but some relatives she wanted to talk on phone with started using Viber a lot.  So we got her the Smart Phone just for that purpose.  She doesn't even give out her mobile phone number to people here in USA, except me.

Now we are talking about her taking a Smart Phone to Ukraine for her Mother; again just for the purpose of talking on Viber.

And just for the record, wife knows several women in Ukraine, even those younger than 40, who do not have a Smart Phone.

Actually I think most of those who have Smart Phones (everywhere in world) are not too smart.

I still have my flip phone and only use it when I am away from the house to call wife to tell her where I am and when I will return.  I haven't given out the number to anyone else.

Heard not long ago that a lot of Hollywood Celebs were going back to flip phones and ditching their smart phones. Think the reason was that too much communication was coming through on them, either that or they weren't bright enough to figure out how to use one, lol.

I've always been a smart phone sort of guy. I find it's become pretty indespensible. Still I find from time to time it can end up controlling you rather than the other way around. Can only think if I had a big social life, which I don't, I wouldn't get a moment's break from the thing.
Title: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: 2tallbill on April 30, 2019, 01:29:35 PM
Not the typical I know, but . . .

My Grandfather had a leaky radiator in the olden days so he dropped
an egg in it and it plugged the leaks. Years later he needed a starter
for an old piece of farm equipment so he used a Maytag washing
machine motor. My Grandfather found a way

A good girl FSUW will find a way, not an excuse.

If an FSUW is interested in you then she figures out a way.
If she has less than pure motives she makes excuses. Scammer
excuse #1-37

I don't have the internet, I don't have a phone, I must pay for translations,
My grandmother is sick and lives in a village and I must leave to take care
of her. I dropped my phone in a mud puddle and it shorted out, my ex was
watching my daughter and didn't have a phone so I loaned him mine. The
bus ran over my puppy, a policeman took it,  Blah, blah, blah, etc forever

The fact is that Mrs ML didn't make any excuses, whatever problems she
encountered she solved them and moved on.

My point is that a good girl figures stuff out. She doesn't make excuses
she overcomes them. She can't translate something then she finds somebody
who can and braids their hair, bakes them a cake or watches their kids or
something in exchange. She doesn't complain, make excuses or ask for
money.

When a man finds a Hottie and suddenly there are difficulties, obstacles
and excuses then he needs to dump her and find a good girl.

Any girl who says she can't chat with you because she doesn't have a smart
phone is lying. If she didn't have a smart phone, she would propose a solution
that didn't require a smart phone. 


Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: LuckyN on May 06, 2019, 02:19:30 PM
She doesn't make excuses
she overcomes them. She can't translate something then she finds somebody
who can and braids their hair, bakes them a cake or watches their kids or
something in exchange. She doesn't complain, make excuses or ask for
money.

When a man finds a Hottie and suddenly there are difficulties, obstacles
and excuses then he needs to dump her and find a good girl.

Any girl who says she can't chat with you because she doesn't have a smart
phone is lying. If she didn't have a smart phone, she would propose a solution
that didn't require a smart phone. 




Hello gentlemen. Excuse me for interrupting this topic, I want to explain why some women do complain, or ask for a new phone/flowers/ or something like that. Sounds stipud, but not all women who asks you that are bad women, they just want to see if you are ready to do something real 'to help' her by your actions. So once you talk for a long time and both looking for serious relationship be ready for this test. It is for checking if you are a generous=caring=potential 'hunter' who can bring a mamooth to the cave. As you know it is an old-style thing in partiarchy countries when a man can actually solve any issue. Nobody wants mean or unable-to-help husband...
So if you wanted a traditional woman - be ready for help her to show that you are what she is looking for.
P.S. of course dont be silly and not send her money if you never met each other before.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: BillyB on May 06, 2019, 02:31:29 PM
It is for checking if you are a generous=caring=potential 'hunter' who can bring a mamooth to the cave.


Everyday me defeat saber tooth tigers, fight cavemen to get them off me territory, and bring home a mammoth for me wife...to cook for me! Me need a lot of energy to fight off those beasts and because me win a lot, me get all the girls.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Gator on May 06, 2019, 03:42:14 PM
Hello gentlemen. Excuse me for interrupting this topic, I want to explain why some women do complain, or ask for a new phone/flowers/ or something like that. Sounds stipud, but not all women who asks you that are bad women, they just want to see if you are ready to do something real 'to help' her by your actions. So once you talk for a long time and both looking for serious relationship be ready for this test. It is for checking if you are a generous=caring=potential 'hunter' who can bring a mamooth to the cave. As you know it is an old-style thing in partiarchy countries when a man can actually solve any issue. Nobody wants mean or unable-to-help husband...
So if you wanted a traditional woman - be ready for help her to show that you are what she is looking for.

 :welcome:

Ah ha!  The "greedy" man test. 

Excellent explanation of Russian mentality.   "When in Rome, do as the Romans do."  My opinion is American men (AM) should do what Russian men (RM) do, considering RW have been trained by RM.     

What is your opinion about when this "greedy" test should occur?  You mentioned never to send money to a woman whom you have not met.  How soon after you meet? 

And what is the appropriate monetary value of this "help." 

If I really liked a woman and wanted to see her again, I made a point to buy her something special on our last or next to last day together.  Once it was a premium telephone (we married years later).  With another woman, I bought her a fine leather jacket (she proved to be a mistake).  Neither woman asked me for a gift.  I volunteered I wanted to buy her something to remember me, and that is when they mentioned phone, jacket, etc.   

If a woman asked me to buy her something on the first date, it was a turnoff. 


Quote
P.S. of course dont be silly and not send her money if you never met each other before.

Never?   What if you are meeting her for the first time in a city other than her home?  She has travel expenses. 
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: LuckyN on May 10, 2019, 08:10:48 AM
Everyday me defeat saber tooth tigers, fight cavemen to get them off me territory, and bring home a mammoth for me wife...to cook for me! Me need a lot of energy to fight off those beasts and because me win a lot, me get all the girls.
Your wife must be happy woman     :thumbsup:  also we all dream about big frying pan to cook a mammoth  :D
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: ML on May 10, 2019, 08:26:38 AM
Never?   What if you are meeting her for the first time in a city other than her home?  She has travel expenses.

That's what thumbs are for.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: ML on May 10, 2019, 10:06:13 AM
Hello gentlemen. Excuse me for interrupting this topic, I want to explain why some women do complain, or ask for a new phone/flowers/ or something like that. Sounds stupid, . . .

Yes, and it really is . . . and indicates a parasite.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Grumpy on May 10, 2019, 12:00:38 PM
Your wife must be happy woman     :thumbsup:  also we all dream about big frying pan to cook a mammoth  :D

Big cast iron frying pan makes a good clue bat for the thick skulls on forums.

 :ROFL:
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: SANDRO43 on May 10, 2019, 05:36:36 PM
Big cast iron frying pan makes a good clue bat for the thick skulls on forums.
Here a more humane use is to roast chestnuts ;D.

(http://cdn.ilclubdellericette.it/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/caldarroste-728x486.jpg)
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: ML on May 10, 2019, 07:30:25 PM
Here a more humane use is to roast chestnuts ;D.

(http://cdn.ilclubdellericette.it/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/caldarroste-728x486.jpg)

That's not where you roast chestnuts.

Haven't you listened carefully to the song?
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: SteveInBoston on May 11, 2019, 06:59:06 AM
That's not where you roast chestnuts.

Haven't you listened carefully to the song?

Cast iron is great on an open fire.
Title: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: 2tallbill on May 11, 2019, 12:57:46 PM
Your wife must be happy woman     :thumbsup:  also we all dream about big frying pan to cook a mammoth  :D


Mmmmmmmmmmmmm…………….. Mammoth and blini sounds tasty.


Welcome to the forum!


(http://www.femaleforum.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/welcome-female-forum.jpg)



Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Jamesukjames on May 12, 2019, 08:35:43 AM
Oh my god you were about to have a hot Russian woman stay in your house and you blew it.  Your house would have been cleaner than ever before.  You would have had so much sex you could hardly walk.  Ok she probably wouldn't have got the visa to visit.  But then you could have converted to a holiday in Spain or Cyprus or even her home town.  Lots of scared boys posting on this site.  Man you could have lived the dream for a while and you blew it.
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Jamesukjames on May 12, 2019, 08:37:29 AM
If you want to live with a Russian you've got to think like a Russian or you will just get mangled
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: msmob on May 12, 2019, 08:39:33 AM
James, if your criteria is having sex and never meeting her again, you might have a point...
Title: Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
Post by: Jamesukjames on May 12, 2019, 08:41:25 AM
Personally I think these women come from a harder world and both parties have to teach each other how to get along with each other