Hi all....did i get lucky first time

[krimster2]

yeah, what Hammer said
until you know her better, keep your eyes open
if she's a shark, she may think you're a snack....
on the other hand she might be a mermaid...

your residence better be spotless when she arrives!!!!
learn to take your shoes off when on the inside, RW don't like people walking with their outside shoes on the inside floor!
find out as much as you can about the things she likes, food, things to see and so forth
you are going to have to take her shopping whether you like it or not...
my wife blew a ton o' money at Harrod's and other shops on Kensington...
I assume she will be "staying with you"?
don't sleep with her for the first 3 nights...
see to her every comfort...

[Gator]

...she has just said she would love to come over to England in 3 weeks time to meet me....I am obviously thrilled with this development so sorry for the negativity but this is really good right !!!

Does she need a visa?   I am assuming you are planning to pay for her air flight.  Rather than wiring her money for the flight, you should buy the ticket directly. 

Years ago a number of men were scammed when they wired money to FSUW for air ticket and visa, and the women disappeared with the money.   

[Davo]

Sent a pm, it is very hard bordering on impossible to get a Russian tourist visa for a lot of our countries atm..... even with the best credentials. I found this out the hard way a year ago.

I was only talking to “k” and a member about this tonight. It’s Rediculous that you basically have to get engaged or married before a women can set foot in your country.

[Blighty]

Sorry been busy but thanks for most of the advice so far and here is an update, after messaging eachother every day and the exchange of several videos of special occasions such as a friends wedding she attended last weekend she has just said she would love to come over to England in 3 weeks time to meet me....I am obviously thrilled with this development so sorry for the negativity but this is really good right !!!

This is possible based on last month's visa applications which mostly took 10 days after the visa interview ... see http://visa-processingtimes.homeoffice.gov.uk/y/moscow-russian-federation/visits-visas/general-visit-6-months-or-less

A good (if dated) guide of how to apply online for a visit visa ...

Take care!

[Davo]

If Marc gives this a go, is it better that he is a sponsor of the visa or distances himself totally from it?, given they are essentially strangers.

I suspect being a sponsor didn’t help my situation.

[Patagonie]

Sent a pm, it is very hard bordering on impossible to get a Russian tourist visa for a lot of our countries atm..... even with the best credentials. I found this out the hard way a year ago.

I was only talking to “k” and a member about this tonight. It’s Rediculous that you basically have to get engaged or married before a women can set foot in your country.

That's the problem of countries where you need a visa any times.
THat was Ukraine was before, especially if your embassy was pressing the brake for every files.
So that was a constant hassle to get the visa, knowing that some women would be denied for the first one, an after good luck, better to change of women.

It's why the random contacts girls first, set an online chemistry, put your foot in her city don't work at the end.
It's better to have a strategy and to stick on it.
For me that's simple, having gone through multiple visas as a huge burden before my marriage, it's no longer that i want to live again such hassle (ex wifey made 7 trips 2x500 kilometers to go to the embassy if i have good memory), it tells you that she was sharing her part of the burden (and more than me at this time).
So women from Russia, no. Women from Donetsk, Lugansk, Crimea, NO.

As Mendy said, choose a city you like not too big, not too small and if you cannot find a lady in a half or million city, it says more about your dating problems than international dating problems.
And the european 90/180 visa working now for more than a year and half is just opening a LOT of possibilities.
That's simply why in Ukraine air traffic is so booming.

[Davo]

That's the problem of countries where you need a visa any times.
THat was Ukraine was before, especially if your embassy was pressing the brake for every files.
So that was a constant hassle to get the visa, knowing that some women would be denied for the first one, an after good luck, better to change of women.

It's why the random contacts girls first, set an online chemistry, put your foot in her city don't work at the end.
It's better to have a strategy and to stick on it.
For me that's simple, having gone through multiple visas as a huge burden before my marriage, it's no longer that i want to live again such hassle (ex wifey made 7 trips 2x500 kilometers to go to the embassy if i have good memory), it tells you that she was sharing her part of the burden (and more than me at this time).
So women from Russia, no. Women from Donetsk, Lugansk, Crimea, NO.

As Mendy said, choose a city you like not too big, not too small and if you cannot find a lady in a half or million city, it says more about your dating problems than international dating problems.
And the european 90/180 visa working now for more than a year and half is just opening a LOT of possibilities.
That's simply why in Ukraine air traffic is so booming.

In your opinion would a denied tourist visa cause issues when you apply for a spouse visa?

[Patagonie]

In your opinion would a denied tourist visa cause issues when you apply for a spouse visa?

Absolutely, embassy could think that this lady uses a dishonest way to enter in the country, something like this. Or she asked a type of visa but tried to trick the authorities.
If i were working in officials i would think something like this.
 

[Patagonie]

If i have good memory i think that i warned already about this type of issues.

[krimster2]

"In your opinion would a denied tourist visa cause issues when you apply for a spouse visa? "

not conclusively...
it depends on why the tourist visa was rejected, which of course they won't tell you, so you need to guess
if it's financially based, then this criteria is removed when you become her sponsor
for example, got a fiancee visa for my wife with zero problem, smooth sailing every step of the way
later I invited my wife's sister to the USA (she's married with 2 small children) it was rejected...

[Blighty]

If Marc gives this a go, is it better that he is a sponsor of the visa or distances himself totally from it?, given they are essentially strangers.

I suspect being a sponsor didn’t help my situation.

The UK visitor visa test is ... will that person return to their home country? The current view seems to be that boyfriends/girlfriends are at a high risk of overstaying. It all depends on her financial position and reason to return to her home country. It is advisable that she is merely coming as a tourist, and without any mention of Marc.

[marc63]

Ok so if asked I do not sponsor her....sounds logical to me

[Jamesukjames]

Marc been there done it.  Unlikely she will get a visitor visa.  Any mention of visiting you rather than a hotel and the visa people will throw the application out.  Timescale is too short to get a visa.  So the answer is get on a plane and visit the real her in her home town or meet in Cyprus and meet the holiday version of her .

[marc63]

James that was the initial plan for me to go out mid june but she suddenly flipped it and proposed coming to me , she has 3 weeks left to work and then she has 30 days vacation...I think the timeframe is do-able but I am guessing she will state she is going to stay with me but I still think her application will be rejected and its back to plan a lol

[Jamesukjames]

Well she could book a hotel for 2 nights and then go on a grand tour...….of your house.....I mean different hotels.  The problem is they look at her finances  too much money she doesn't get a visa too little money she doesn't get a visa.  Problem is the rejection letters are so rude she may never want to speak to an English person again.  See if you can rebuild a relationship after the British visa people tell her they suspect she will work as a prostitute on her 30 day English holiday.

[2tallbill]

James that was the initial plan for me to go out mid june but she suddenly flipped it and proposed coming to me , she has 3 weeks left to work and then she has 30 days vacation...I think the timeframe is do-able but I am guessing she will state she is going to stay with me but I still think her application will be rejected and its back to plan a lol

Angel Eyes got a Schengen visa first for a trip to Spain, then she was
accepted for a US Visa. You might try getting that first it might be easier
and after she goes back home her chances should probably be increased.

[Patagonie]

Oh, i just remember something important. Longer the visa is and more chances the visa has to be rejected, especially the first one. It's maximum one or two weeks.

[tfcrew]

..3 weeks left to work and then she has 30 days vacation...... she will state she is going to stay with me but I still think her application will be rejected...

I know nothing about UK regs but US regs? Would never fly. Esp if stating "going to stay with you." [without absolute proof of return] There is no mention of a previous marriage...children? [grown?] Hometown? Occupation? Anyway...with the expressed statement that this lady wishes not to leave Russia *forever and you just want to vacation and hang out...I would suggest a neutral location [wasn't Spain mentioned?] Germany or Poland is great if do-able. Keep posting.
*Isn't that what you wrote?--She doesn't want to move away from Russia?

[marc63]

tfcrew...she is divorced with  one grown child who is married, she has worked as a sports coach for 20 plus years and lives in Votkinsk and has never really expressed an interest in leaving Russia but I have never pressed her on it as she loves her job and family

[krimster2]

"Votkinsk"

oh my....
marc....marc...marc...

WTF do you think you would do in Votkinsk?
let me guess... you're planning on working as an English teacher?
how do you think health care in Votkinsk will compare to the NHS?  I hope you have ZERO and I mean ZERO health care issues, now and in the future, otherwise... you gonna die!!!

where would you be after giving up your life in the UK and then 5 years later things didn't work out for you and Ms. Votkinsk...
I'm curious what you expect this woman (who you really don't know AT ALL) is going to to give you that makes it worth your while to completely abandon your current life
note: generally not a problem for someone going the other direction any more than it is for a prisoner leaving a maximum security prison to live in a mansion in SOHO
but you're advocating going to prison for love, not a good thing unless you're a Decemberist and not a good thing unless there ACTUALLY is some LOVE...
and I hate to break this news to you - but there ain't any LOVE in your relationship with Ms. Votkinsk (this tends to take awhile, years maybe...)

are things REALLY that bad for you in the UK, that you'd throw away EVERYTHING for the hope you will find some happiness with Ms. Votkinsk?
I lived 3 years in Crimea, and when I was left I was as ecstatic as a little girl who got a pony for Christmas, and I lived like a freaking Czar there...
you might want to curb your enthusiasm until you experienced life there

have fun with your "friend" but don't get stuck in your 'dream' because that's all it really is
if you're totally set on an FSU woman, find one who will come to you
or do you feel that Ms. Votkinsk is your one and ONLY choice and it's her no matter where or how or else remain a resident of lonesomeville forever more...
that seems a desperate gamble to me, and the odds are way against you my friend

step back and think about what I'm saying
you're not the first lonely man to feel this way
sorry to give you the "tough love" my brother, but someone who's "been there" needs to!!
and it's my turn at that duty this week...
you need to firmly decide what YOU WANT and find someone who will fit with that
rather than doing whatever it takes to be with Ms. Votkinsk...
even if it means living in (shudder) Votkinsk...
no...no...no...



 
 

[Trenchcoat]

Sorry been busy but thanks for most of the advice so far and here is an update, after messaging eachother every day and the exchange of several videos of special occasions such as a friends wedding she attended last weekend she has just said she would love to come over to England in 3 weeks time to meet me....I am obviously thrilled with this development so sorry for the negativity but this is really good right !!!

Not necessarily, you've not yet met and she wants to visit you. There's good reason the UK Visa service turn visas down. You essentially don't know this woman, if UK Visa service was to accept visas from everyone like this they could be faced with a load of people that just bolt on arrival into the UK and don't get picked up for years.

As said she would have to do it alone and stay in a hotel. They would undoubtedly want to see hotel booking for length of stay and a return flight. You on the application sponsoring her in would almost certainly sink her chances. The Visa Service would want to know where you have met and how often and for how long you have known each other. Beyond that as said they need to sufficiently feel she would return after her stay. If she has a good job, kids she needs to support and other visa countries she has returned from that is likely to help.

I personally think it would be better for you to go see her, for Russia the visa process will almost certainly be far quicker, easier and more successful for you. You just fill out the form online, print it off and take it too the Russian Visa Service and pay your money about Ł100 or so for a tourist visa, once you know where you are staying, etc.

I personally don't like the way she is being so forward up front about visiting you. It may not be a problem, she may be legit, but I don't think it is a good thing so early in the day. I think you need to be firm and take back charge. Never let a FSW run the show, tell her that you will visit her first, that it will save her the visa ordeal, accept nothing else. It's important for you to see her first and find out first hand about her life and not be told by her what is happening and when.

[marc63]

Krimster2 I agree with what you said and the final nail in the coffin is that she has now said she is coming to the uk for her entire 30 day vacation, never asked if I could get the time off as well which I cant, and that my planned trip to Russia cannot go ahead as she will have no vacation left ...so that's the end of that but it has been a very interesting first dip into the waters and thanks to lots of excellent advice I feel I have learnt a lot already so thank you to all of you...oh and out of interest we met on an English dating site which now is a huge red flag to start with , but as I said loads to learn from here on in

[ML]

Hey . . . I wouldn't discourage her from coming for 30 days.
Sure, you might say that you now know there can be no long term relationship.
But what's to prevent you from sharing several days with a good looking woman who arrives on your doorstep???

This is all presuming she doesn't start asking you for money to 'help' her get there.

[marc63]

she cant afford to buy a new mobile phone so we can keep in touch but can afford to travel to the uk for 30 days ...no ta plus she is already starting to hint at the cost, nope im out lol

[krimster2]

marc, count it as a learning experience...
you've made the right conclusion
but you're starting to understand the territory.....

how much time CAN you take off?
if you can get the time off, I'd recommend a trip to Ukraine
you can pull off a trip for under 1000 pounds....
IMHO, you have a better chance of going in person and meeting someone (how I met my wife)
even if you didn't, you would not be disappointed in such a journey...
I know the loss you feel is painful and disappointing
but it would have been MUCH more if you continued...

BTW, you mentioned you have Polish ethnicity...
do you still have family there?
if so, you may want to consider that an option
having family there, may provide you with an "edge"
I've been to Poland and there are some VERY nice wimmin there!!!