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Changes in friends and family after your marriage?

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Air Dog:
My friends and most of my family accepted my FSU wife without any problems; they were happy for me.  The one skeptic in my family changed her mind after she got to know my wife.  I never had anyone voice any concerns about marrying a former "enemy" even though I was in the military at the time of my marriage.

Mamma D:
This is a picture of my family....minus a grandson the same age as Basil.
Dick, Irina and Basil are at the left....Sarah, Miriam and John and my show off Chrisy and me at the right...(Chrisy is the baby we raised, that drowned last summer.)

Irina is a physicist & violinist and Basil (who is also a classical pianist) will follow her lead .... He enters Stanford University this fall. Irina's uncle is the mentor to the International Russian physics team... must be in the gens!

Miriam is a head accountant for a civil office....and is Italian.
John is an Unix engineer, and built and manages a wireless internet service along Colorado's front Range.

This was grandpas birthday a few years ago, and he took the picture!~

I have two older grandchildren, who were born to my American (ex) daughter-in-law...(who is an executive assistant in an operation for cleanup of old military ordinance.)

They are both in the twenties and are military....Jen is a Capt in the Air force...(finishing her dissertation for a PhD in Math) She works in intelligence.
Her brother "B" is a Marine recruiter, who did two tours in Iraq, and came home with shrapnel last trip, and a chest full of medals!

My other American (ex) daugter-in-law is working for a major Aircraft company in Robotics..... and her husband is in guidance systems.

These four women are all great women.....Not only as wives but as contributing members of society.

I am close to all three of these ladies....My sons are excellent judges of people... In todays world often lives move in differant directions, and adjustments have to be made whereby each can become the "Best they can be".....

It is amazing to me that all my extended family are friends!

But people move into and out of our lives, some for a short time, and others for a life time...But there is a purpose that each plays...

For that, I am profoundly thankful.....

Mamma D

Mamma D:
 :)    :)   Age differences.....

Has anyone here, compared the age differences between the Presidential candidates .... and our American men ...and the great women they have chosen?


I know this might be tangential - but it struck me as related to this topic in some ways.

Jen, I know you are looking for real-life experiences, rather than spend a lot of time on the hypothetical - BUT - take a peek at this article from CNN (

It addresses the topic, heretofore taboo, of interracial dating/marriage in America. I could not help but wonder about the parallels that are driving African-American women to seek caucasian partners - and similar pressures affecting RW.

It also made me wonder about those who, in the past, were vocally (violently?) opposed to inter-racial marriage - and if some of the same sense of 'normalcy' might be the source for opposition to inter-cultural marriages.

Just thoughts.

As to your original question:

* My family has embraced Olya from the beginning. Perhaps it was recognition of the stark contrast she represented compared to my ex-wife, but in any case, they were quite warm from the beginning.

* The friends I had, with one very notable exception, remain friends with us today. The exception being a former friend and colleague (male) who became enamored of Olya - with some disastrous consequences. All other friends remain friends today.

- Dan

Hi Dan,

I took a look at that article, and how African-American women talked about why they are open to different kinds of men does have some parallels with the pressures RW describe. This is interesting...I agree with you that it is useful to step back from the specifically FSUW/AM issue to consider more broadly what some of the societal trends and pressures are that shape it, from both sides. Some surprising connections could come out of that.

Thanks for your thoughts, Mamma D.

Best wishes all, j.


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