Teenage Sex- RW and their sons

[Gator]

One data point:

My Moscow wife had a problem with my younger son and his loud lovers.  She thinks it is too much for her 11-yo daughter and 12-yo son, whose bedrooms are nearby.  He and I had a talk.  There is no noise now while we are awake.

[Stirlitz]

Is it normal for a RW to encourage her son to participate in sex?

No. I would say it is an exceptional and wise mother who managed to overcome age-old stereotypes against sex and realized that it is not so bad as the clergy try to depict thus not a problem at all. I guess you would not mind your kids having dinner in your home or playing computer games so what’s wrong with sex?

[Jack]

I guess you would not mind your kids having dinner in your home or playing computer games so what’s wrong with sex?

ahhhh,.....what?      Am I reading this correctly?      Excuse me igor, I am having a hard time understanding how these thoughts of yours can even remotely be related.

As I inderstand this topic was relating to teenage kid's. 

How is your kid's having dinner or playing computer games at home be seen in the same light as a responsible parent allowing the kid's to also having sex in your home?    In some states in America, depending on the age of the teenager, a parent could go to jail for allowing such to happen. 

[Kuna]

I guess you would not mind your kids having dinner in your home or playing computer games so what’s wrong with sex?

 

Good grief... is this the mind of a typical Ukrainian male?

[BC]

ahhhh,.....what?      Am I reading this correctly?      Excuse me igor, I am having a hard time understanding how these thoughts of yours can even remotely be related.

As I inderstand this topic was relating to teenage kid's. 

How is your kid's having dinner or playing computer games at home be seen in the same light as a responsible parent allowing the kid's to also having sex in your home?    In some states in America, depending on the age of the teenager, a parent could go to jail for allowing such to happen. 

Yeah that's some states in America.. - no laws broken here.

[ScottinCrimea]

Last I checked, you can't get AIDS or become pregnant from eating dinner or playing video games, but with the advances in technology, maybe I'm wrong.

Nine year olds do both of these, so are you suggesting that sex for them should be just as acceptable and casual?

One of the roles of parents is to provide guidance as to what is appropriate and at what age it is appropriate, as well as what behaviors are acceptable in their home.  Parents are not required to accommodate the wants of their kids if it in any way makes them uncomfortable.  I guess some feel no discomfort hearing the bangs and moans of their son or daughter in the next room, but for me personally I don't care if it's a child, my parents or a friend, I just don't need to hear it.  Maybe that makes me a puritan, but so be it.

[BC]

Scott,

Much of parenting is presented by example.. Think the kids don't hear our 'bangs and moans'?

Yes, 9 is a bit young, but when talking about 15 upwards...

[ScottinCrimea]

Scott,

Much of parenting is presented by example.. Think the kids don't hear our 'bangs and moans'?

Yes, 9 is a bit young, but when talking about 15 upwards...

Sorry BC, but try having sex with a 15 year old and see what happens...

9 is a "bit" young?  Now you are worrying me.

[BC]

Sorry BC, but try having sex with a 15 year old and see what happens...

9 is a "bit" young?  Now you are worrying me.

Scott,

When I was growing up, the first 'real' sexual experiences were somewhere in the late teens to early 20's.. Since then it the tendency (exacerbated by the availability of information/stimulation online) is a definite downward trend...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Europe
 
Here in much of Europe the age of consent is somewhere between 14 and 16 whereas in the US between 16 and 18.

Strangely enough, in this mostly Catholic country of Italy with one of the lowest teen pregnancy rates and lowest divorce rates, the age of consent was raised a while back.. from 12 to 14.

Yes 9 is a bit young..  so don't be worried.

[viking]

Some people start experimenting at an earlier age than others. Some have full blown sexual experiences earlier than others, regardless of the country. Look at our deep south versus the northeast as an example. But having a parent flip the kid a condom and go have sex while preparing dinner is not what I would want to happen in my home. I am not hung up on sex, am not a puritan, but not so liberal as to condone this type of behaviour. Whats next? Having mom and dad do it in front of the kids so they can have first hand knowledge of how it is done? "Hey son, I am going to screw mom now, want to watch, learn some tricks so you don't look like a dummy"? Where is the sense of deceny? I would rather pay him to go to a respectable whorehouse. I wish there was an icon for puking.

[BC]

Some people start experimenting at an earlier age than others. Some have full blown sexual experiences earlier than others, regardless of the country. Look at our deep south versus the northeast as an example. But having a parent flip the kid a condom and go have sex while preparing dinner is not what I would want to happen in my home. I am not hung up on sex, am not a puritan, but not so liberal as to condone this type of behaviour. Whats next? Having mom and dad do it in front of the kids so they can have first hand knowledge of how it is done? "Hey son, I am going to screw mom now, want to watch, learn some tricks so you don't look like a dummy"? Where is the sense of deceny? I would rather pay him to go to a respectable whorehouse. I wish there was an icon for puking.

Decency? have him do something illegal (in the US) rather than smooching in his BR?

[ScottinCrimea]

Scott,

When I was growing up, the first 'real' sexual experiences were somewhere in the late teens to early 20's.. Since then it the tendency (exacerbated by the availability of information/stimulation online) is a definite downward trend...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Europe
 
Here in much of Europe the age of consent is somewhere between 14 and 16 whereas in the US between 16 and 18.

Strangely enough, in this mostly Catholic country of Italy with one of the lowest teen pregnancy rates and lowest divorce rates, the age of consent was raised a while back.. from 12 to 14.

Yes 9 is a bit young..  so don't be worried.

And what would you consider the "age of consent" for your daughter?  For your son?

I always told my daughters that they couldn't date until they were at least 25.  They should stay at home with their father where they belonged.  Of course they didn't listen.  :noidea:

[viking]

BC

Smooching I can handle. He/she can smooch ( kiss) with their partner in front of me anytime. We are talking about fornication in the parents house, while the parents are home, with the encouragement of the RW. It's not just the moans and groans, it is the basic concept of teenage sex without discretion. And of course I was talking about the houses of ill repute in Amsterdam.

[KenC]

No. I would say it is an exceptional and wise mother who managed to overcome age-old stereotypes against sex and realized that it is not so bad as the clergy try to depict thus not a problem at all. I guess you would not mind your kids having dinner in your home or playing computer games so what’s wrong with sex?

Bizarre, totally bizarre

Viking,
 
KenC

[Ade]

BC

Smooching I can handle. He/she can smooch ( kiss) with their partner in front of me anytime. We are talking about fornication in the parents house, while the parents are home, with the encouragement of the RW. It's not just the moans and groans, it is the basic concept of teenage sex without discretion. And of course I was talking about the houses of ill repute in Amsterdam.

So discrete teenage sex is ok? And sending your son to a brothel is ok if it's legalized? Or?

I'm just trying to get a handle on the thing that's offensive to some people here.

I mean, teenage sex will happen whether it's with parental consent or not. Maybe some of you are so old now that you don't remember the incredible sexual urges you had in your teens but I do; seriously, it will happen or they will try everything to get it to happen.

So what do you do? Do you ignore it, say nothing and hope it doesn't happen in or out of the house? Do you forbid it? Only allow it out of the house?

Or do you try to be a mature, sensible adult and try to educate your kids to be as responsible as they are able given their raging hormones and throw them (girls and boys) a pack of condoms every now and then? Encouraging them to have sex in their early teens is a bit much I'll admit and it doesn't fit with my idea of being responsible but allowing them to have their private space where they are trusted to do the right thing is something else entirely. Will they eventually have sex there? Most probably, but better there than in a dark alley when they are drunk one night; although both aren't mutually exclusive, I know which I'd have preferred if given the choice as a teenager.

[Ooooops]

I understand that lots of us here are pretty...   well...   mature, let say      so the memories are fading...  but!..   you still gotta remember some of the juicy teenager escapades...  or were you born old right way?   

[Ade]

I understand that lots of us here are pretty...   well...   mature, let say      so the memories are fading...  but!..   you still gotta remember some of the juicy teenager escapades...  or were you born old right way?   

I think I remember all of mine and I also remember being incredibly uninformed and it's a wonder nothing went, um, awry...

[Ooooops]

I think I remember all of mine and I also remember being incredibly uninformed and it's a wonder nothing went, um, awry...

I'm sure I had some kind of guardian angel looking after me with all the stupid stuff I pulled off back then...   

[viking]

Ken

grazzy as (southern CA spanish)

Viking

[Stirlitz]

Yeah that's some states in America..

The more I learn about the US the less I wish to live there. 

Last I checked, you can't get AIDS or become pregnant from eating dinner or playing video games, but with the advances in technology, maybe I'm wrong.

Last time I checked, you cannot accidentaly get killed with a knife or fork when having sex. Technically, you can be suffocated with a condom though but I haven’t heard of such cases. Does it mean that knives and forks should only be legal to be used by adults and kids must be fed with a spoon until they are 18? Does it mean that eating is more dangerous than sex?

Not to mention driving or riding. Kids can harm themselves falling of bikes. Should bikes be illegal until 18 too? Etc, etc.

As for AIDS, you know I don’t believe in this media hype. 

So discrete teenage sex is ok? And sending your son to a brothel is ok if it's legalized? Or?

Which reminds me of an old joke. Woman says to husband: time to tell our son about, well, birds and bees. He scratches his head and heads for his 15 y.o. son’s room. Son, do you remember the brothel we went to yesterday? Yeah, 'twas good. Theirs something I have to tell ya, mother says it's time for you to know it has something with birds and bees, okay? Not sure what she means but anyway… 

[OlgaH]

Old joke comes to mind...   
Guy and girl are having sex in his house.   Suddenly his parents come home and see them doing it.   Guy is thinking: "Busted!  And I've told her, lets do it some other time!"   Girl's thinking: "Good!   Now he has to marry me!"   Father's thinking: "Oh-oh, my boy is all grown up already... I got to buy him a motorcycle."   Mother's thinking:  "She should change her position -  looks like it's very uncomfortable for my boy!"

  

I don't know if this joke is knew or old:

Mother: Dear, I think it is time...  you should have a man-to-man talk with our son about sex.
Father: and what should I tell him?
Mother: you can start for example with birds and bees ...

Father: Son, do you remember three days ago we visited two who-es?
Son; Yes, Dad.
Father: So... the birds and bees do the same things that we did at that time.

[msmoby_ru]

As for AIDS, you know I don’t believe in this media hype. 

..and THAT attitude might explain a lot about FSU figures for HIV/ Aids which are always understated..   ... and I guess Elton John just performs concerts in Kiev to boost his sales, rather than awareness ?! 

..anyone notice that Russia requires an HIV test for long-term  stays / residency !

[Gator]

..and THAT attitude might explain a lot about FSU figures for HIV/ Aids which are always understated..

Agree with you Mark.

During one flight from Moscow I met a US Govt scientist working on AIDS and TB.   He said AIDS is growing and the growth has derived largely from heterosexual activities.  As in Africa, he plotted high incidence along transportation routes (i. e., truck drivers and prostitutes).

While Stirlitz may not drive a truck nor use the services of prostitutes, the interconnection is possible if one is not careful.  In addition, FSU women do not necessarily demand that the man use a condom. 

[msmoby_ru]

Agree with you Mark.

 *That's* is not good for my "image" .. but seriously, I don't want to seem like I'm singling out Igor.. I see this attitude in some FSU guys and gals - as if *it* can't "get" them....

In addition, FSU women do not necessarily demand that the man use a condom. 

Which is WHY I'd recommend "packing" ....  

It has always stuck in my mind.. an HIV/Aids awareness campaign from 1986/7 in the UK...

"when you are having sex with someone -it might even be your first time- but you are sleeping with everyone they or their partners slept with..."  

I tried to remember that when the "Little head" was trying to "take control" !



On a VERY serious note: I had to have a comprehensive test done ( including an HIV/Aids test ) when going for a life insurance policy in Cyprus..

I was told I'd get the results back in 24 Hours... After 3 days I'd heard NOTHING...

So I called, the receptionist recognised me and her voice changed from "happy" to "nervous"  .. she asked me to hold for the Doctor... ( a lady)

The Lady Doctor came on the phone and asked me to come in and discuss my results...  it was CLEAR there was "problem"  


I drove to the clinic in a VERY nervous state... "CHRIST", I thought - had one act of passion landed me in the "cr*p" .. Would anyone want to go near me again.. I was single at the time...

I arrived at the Clinic and I could see the look in the eyes of the Receptionist - the pity - UNMISTAKABLE ... SH*T..    WHAT had I done/ not done .. hadn't I been "careful"? ..

I had to wait for 15 minutes and saw the Doctor show out a couple who had clearly just been given great news.. Then the Doctor saw I was waiting... she looked at the receptionist and ordered strong Cypriot coffee for us - I saw THAT look again .. pity.. dread.... CR*P , CR*P and double crap....

I sat down and said, " Let's not wait for the Coffee, it's not good news, huh ?"

Doctor: " I'm sorry Mr Mark, no , I've doubled checked - I'm so sorry - I have terrible news...." and she looks into my eyes, with such pity...  " we cannot find any sperm - not even a DEAD one ...."

LONG Silence..

Me: and that's the BAD news?!" ....

Doctor: Well, yes she says .. you told me you've had *the operation*... and I'm afraid it didn't work

Me: starting to BEAM from ear to ear .. that's *all* the BAD news ?!!


Doctor: (looking VERY perplexed).... Yes, I'm afraid your operation wasn't a success

Me: Sorry, Madam, but you've had me SH*TTING myself.... What do *you* call *the operation*?

Doctor: (looking very confused) to enhance sperm production.. so many men take steroids here...

Me: Madam, SCREW the coffee( just as the receptionist walks carrying a tray) - and is shocked to see my smiling face.. in MY Country * the operation* is to STOP sperm production and I had the vasectomy five years ago )) ...  I thought I had some terrible disease...

I left the clinic floating on air, and ( remembering the initial shock that something must be wrong, and how I would cope ) I promised myself from that day forward to be "careful" ...

Isn't monogamy GREAT ?!

[ScottinCrimea]

Agree with you Mark.

During one flight from Moscow I met a US Govt scientist working on AIDS and TB.   He said AIDS is growing and the growth has derived largely from heterosexual activities. 

You need to be careful about how the statistics are interpreted and grouped.  For example, for years they were claiming that only 1/3 of AIDS cases were homosexuals, implying that 2/3rds of cases were heterosexual.  The intent was to scare everyone into thinking it wasn't just a "gay" problem and therefore gain more support for research money.  But if you looked at how they broke down the groups, they separated those who were strictly homosexual from those who were bisexual or both homosexual and IV drug abusers.  Throw in those who were IV drug abusers and the actual percentage of heterosexual cases not related to IV drug use was very small.

As far as everything I have read about the increase in AIDS in Russia (not speaking for Africa where the situation is quite different), it is attributed to IV drug users more than anything, as well as increased detection thanks to the government and charity funded programs in whose best interests it is to find the highest number of cases possible.

I'm certainly not saying that it isn't a significant problem that needs to be addressed, just that sometimes the perceptions can be misleading due to either intentional or unintentional reasons.