Language Barrier, Will it Work?

[Son of Clyde]

I seem to remember Doug Salem mentioning that his wife, Olga spoke little or no English upon her arrival. I think they have been married 7 years now and have a new baby.

I have been paying for English lessons since January for my fiance and her son. They have been attending faithfully although she missed some classes due to her work schedule. Her son has more lessons under his belt but in their country it has not been a major issue to learn English.

I would like to hear from the guys who are married to women who spoke little or no English before her arrival.

What are your views on this?

[Bruno]

Clyde, i have some experience with RW and Child not speaking the language of new home country... i can post this experience if your have some interest only because it is not about English language but Dutch... Since Belgium is not the same that USA, all will be not usuable for you but i think that some part will be interesting...

Really strange that you start a so interesting topic in the "No-Holds Barred"

[Son of Clyde]

Bruno, I was posting it here knowing jb will have something to say.

Actually he said it in an earlier post today.

[Jet]

CLyde,

Liliya spoke english very well by the time she arrived here but her confidence level was very low, and was deathly afraid of strangers thinking she was "stupid". There are some specific things you can do to help her out. IMHO the free ESL classes offered at the local high school are worth just about as much as you pay for them, but usually a local community college or university will offer something much more comprehensive for a fee. In Ft Lauderdale, there are also several private "language acadamies". The one we checked out basicly catered to kids in their 20's from ultra-wealthy european families that were more interested in the beach and "clubbing" than actually learning english. Liliya took an "intensive english" class at Univ. of Miami which did A LOT for her grammer, comprehension, and self confidence in social situations. Her progress was noticably rapid and the fact that she was doing something productive and seeing results, greatly increased her "happiness quotient" day to day (it did a lot to keep her mind off being homesick as well - she didn't have time to be homesick). At $750 a month it was not "cheap" but not that bad either, and well worth every cent.

She also found that use of closed captioning on TV helped her greatly too as she could read the words and hear them pronounced correctly at the same time. 

As far as the child goes, no worries - peer pressure is a powerful motivator! He'll pick up the language more quickly than she will, and with less effort

[Bruno]

[user=130]Son of Clyde[/user] wrote:

Bruno, I was posting it here knowing jb will have something to say.

Actually he said it in an earlier post today.

Clyde, it is not very friendly to JB... i don't like him but in his post, you can always find some interesting advice... only need some time for clean the dirty around and you can find sometime gold...

About my own experience... i was married to a Russian woman with a young child, the child was 4.5 year when she have come in Belgium... the language used where i life is Dutch and both was not able to speak some words of these language...

For the child, it was very fast and easy... first 2 week in a children farm with other kids... followed 4 week holiday at the see with a children camp... and she was speaking almost so good that me...

For het wife, we have first use the help of state who give a free integration course of 4 month... result, she was able to read and little but not make a conversation... so, i have use the system used by foreign student who wish follow university course... a special year of university for learn the Dutch language... 10 modules of one month, 8 hours day, full time... after these course, she was able to speak and substain a slow conversation... but the price of this course was very high for me... 250 euro month... it mean 2500 euro ( around 3500$ ) for a year, only for course of Dutch...

For myself, several year ago, i have learn Dutch without go to school... i have use the immersion method... i have work two month in a cafe and i have learn because contact with people... the result is slightly different... i think in Dutch now, no need to translate in my head, i know some word that i cannot translate in my mother language, i can speak fluently and have a active conversation... i can read but i have very difficult for write since i don't know the grammatic rules... my ex was perfect with grammatic but she always need to translate in his head and cannot substain a active long conversation...

So, you have several method... for the child, don't worry, her new school friend will help her... for the wife, it will be more difficult... don't limit you to one method but make a mix of them...

 

[Journeyman]

I agree with Bruno.  This could be a very useful topic, but it is in the wrong section.  Here, it invites too much testiness, and its potential value could be diminished.

Dan, could you relocate this topic to a more appropriate section?

Just my 2c, FWIW.

Journeyman

BTW, Olga Salem spoke English reasonably well upon arrival (although not perfectly), but was simply afraid to use it, or even to leave her home during the first year.  She continued her study of English at the local community college, and did ok after eventually overcoming her fears.

[Turboguy]

Clyde, in another post I talked about the two gals I have gotten to know very well who relocated here.  One from Ukraine and the other fror Tver Russia. 

The gal from Ukraine has no children.  She knew English well when she moved here.  She still of course knows English well but you have a very hard time understanding her.

The gal from Tver had a 9 year old son when she moved.   The only thing Helen could say in English was "I am hungry"   The son knew less.   When I heard from her and made a couple of trips to San Francisco to see her she had been here about a year and a half.   Helen now spoke nearly perfect English.  There was just a small trace of an accent.  Her son Alex did not even have the smallest trace of an accent.  His English was perfect and he could go back and forth between Russian and English without a thought or a bit of confusion.

I am almost thinking just from the two I have been around a lot, that it might be better not to know too much English.   If they learn it here they have a better feel for the proper prounounciation.   I don't think you can form abosolute judgements based on two people but I think it will not be a problem and for kids, it is not a problem at all.  I think as someone mentioned in another post, for kids it is about friends.  If they can find some good friends they will be fine.  If they can't they will be unhappy.  I think a lot of kids make friends easily though and kids are very curious  which often draws them to someone new from a different world.

[Son of Clyde]

Bruno,

I didn't mean anything bad about jb, I just know this is a sore subject with him.

I read his post yesterday about language barriors and I know this will be a major factor. Not every RW we meet knows our language.

Other guys have been through this process and I assume some of them did ok knowing of the language limitations.

Journeyman,

I posted it here because Dan says this new "Anything Goes" section is receiving more hits.

[Bruno]

[user=130]Son of Clyde[/user] wrote:

I posted it here because Dan says this new "Anything Goes" section is receiving more hits.

Yes, a lot of hit... a little like with a murder in direct of some talk show... people have always interest in what is dirty... but it don't mean that it is better... if you are webmaster, you don't search the hit but the quality hit... if you shell a product, you don't need a lot of visitor to your shop but people who buy...

[Son of Clyde]

Did you mean to say "sell a product" because  "shell a product" has a whole different meaning in the US. There is something called the Old Shell Game. It is a way of conning people out of money. I'm just joking with you because it was probably just a typo.

[Todd]

I would like to reiterate what Jet said about RW's feeling self-conscious about their language abilities.  For all intensive purposes, Kate speaks English fluently.  However, her big concern is that she won't be taken seriously by educated people because her active vocabulary is so much smaller in English than in Russian.  So, even when the language ability appears perfectly fine, additionaly reassurance may be necessary. 

I also really liked the idea of closed captioning.  I might suggest that to Kate.  (Tune it to the Science channel and come back in a couple months.  Nothing like a two nerd household.)