Tips for living with an RW

[Vinnvinny]

If she gets to the stage of mentioning (even thinking or hinting) something, anything, may be / have been better in Russia, tell her to p!ss off back there if it is so effing good. That assures silence for a while . Went through that stage a couple of years ago, lasted about 9 minutes until she realised I was serious.

And they say romance is dead. 

[GQBlues]

If she gets to the stage of mentioning (even thinking or hinting) something, anything, may be / have been better in Russia, tell her to p!ss off back there if it is so effing good. That assures silence for a while . Went through that stage a couple of years ago, lasted about 9 minutes until she realised I was serious.

This happened to me the first year my wife was here. Of course it was something that built up over the course of the year when she just kept saying "things are better, yada, yada, yada whatever...Russia" pretty much unabated. Finally I reached a point where I had enough and reminded her of things pretty much in the same context I/O expressed in his post. Since then... it evolved to 'it's not good, it's not bad, just different'...it also helped a great deal when she took that first trip back home and got a first hand experience where things, overall, really are better on her own....

[GoodOlBoy]

it also helped a great deal when she took that first trip back home and got a first hand experience where things, overall, really are better on her own....

It took mine 3 trips home and a lot of patience!,BUT...I don't hear "it" anymore!

"things are better, yada, yada, yada whatever...Russia"

GOB


BTW...We send "care" packages to home (Omsk) and a local orphanage, almost every month.

[I/O]

Some get it and some don't. 

[2tallbill]

Angel Eyes default mode is happy. If she is not happy, to this day I check to make sure she is
not hungry, cold or in some sort of pain, before anything else. Her other advice in this post is
solid gold

1. Mood swings: whenever you find me especially cranky, grouchy, angry, pissed-off etc., you should first check whether I am not 1) hungry; 2) cold; 3) in pain.  A gentleman never gets angry at a woman who is experiencing physical suffering. Therefore, when you register a bad mood in me, first eliminate the above conditions; feed, warm, heal where necessary; and then continue discussing the original subject.  Because in 95% of cases, the reason for my crankiness will be either hunger, cold, or pain, or any combination of the above.

2.  Make-up sex: reconciliation after minor and major fights may be difficult because we are both extremely proud ***holes, you and I.  But I believe the gentleman must always try to make the first step, that's how I was brought up.  So here's the tip: dragging me to bed actually works as the first step!  Nothing works better! Talking may come after - or it may not be even needed eventually. 

3.  Nagging: believe it or not, but I absolutely hate nagging and feel awful when I catch myself doing it.  Therefore, you are welcome to verbalize your protests and give gentle warning when you perceive that you're being nagged.  However, the best way to avoid nagging altogether is not to ignore my requests in the first place.

4.  "You're tough": paradoxically, the surest way to encourage me to be tough is to never take my toughness for granted.  The more you take care of me, the more I try to be as tough and self-sufficient as possible.  And in return, I will never take your care for granted, my Love.[/size]

[ML]

Quote from: Blues Fairy on May 06, 2008, 12:24:19 PM

    1. Mood swings: whenever you find me especially cranky, grouchy, angry, pissed-off etc., you should first check whether I am not 1) hungry; 2) cold; 3) in pain.  A gentleman never gets angry at a woman who is experiencing physical suffering. Therefore, when you register a bad mood in me, first eliminate the above conditions; feed, warm, heal where necessary; and then continue discussing the original subject.  Because in 95% of cases, the reason for my crankiness will be either hunger, cold, or pain, or any combination of the above.

    2.  Make-up sex: reconciliation after minor and major fights may be difficult because we are both extremely proud ***holes, you and I.  But I believe the gentleman must always try to make the first step, that's how I was brought up.  So here's the tip: dragging me to bed actually works as the first step!  Nothing works better! Talking may come after - or it may not be even needed eventually. 

    3.  Nagging: believe it or not, but I absolutely hate nagging and feel awful when I catch myself doing it.  Therefore, you are welcome to verbalize your protests and give gentle warning when you perceive that you're being nagged.  However, the best way to avoid nagging altogether is not to ignore my requests in the first place.

- - - - - -

Better:   Don't be with a complicated woman to begin with.

[olgac]

Better:   Don't be with a complicated woman to begin with.

Couldn't agree more! This is why You got so lucky with Your wife!

[2tallbill]

Better:   Don't be with a complicated woman to begin with.

If happy is not her default value then I agree.

However, if once every 3-4 months something different happens, then going through a quick checklist
isn't a terrible idea.