How to Visit Many without lying?

[ML]

I think a box of condoms that are all different colors would make any gal pretty happy as a present.  With different colors, one is sure to match her underwear on any given day. 

And this gift shows you are considerate, especially if there are enough to have some left over after you are gone.

[krimster2]

"I want to be the opposite of that. "

and what do you think SHE wants?
take a guess?

[brownbeard99]

I think a box of condoms that are all different colors would make any gal pretty happy as a present.  With different colors, one is sure to match her underwear on any given day. 

And this gift shows you are considerate, especially if there are enough to have some left over after you are gone.

Well, duh!  I am bringing that already.

Except I’m bringing any unused ones home with me.

[krimster2]

“Don't cater to Krimster.  He overplays everything on this forum. “



What?
are YOU sir accusing ME of being an ill humored provokateur and scoundrel
by becoming one yourself?
the irony must be too heavy for you to carry by now
I'd just set it down if I were you...



“Krimster is advocating giving gifts for the role of legsplitter.”



OK, ya got me there, yes!
cuz to me, that’s “part of the deal”

I’ve had WAY more experience in Ukraine than you m’man
I’m not just a one UA woman guy

if you haven’t used a “legsplitter” as you so eloquently put it
then how are you going to climb past that?
you HAVE to do this first!

and I prefer to hit them with “shock and awe”

don’t be a little girly man about your wife’s pictures!!!


hey if you all wanna go with Sees Candy
let me tell ya about Cracker Jacks
it even has a little present in each box
so it's like two presents for the price of one!!!

you guys act like a bunch of hillbillys showing up at the French Royal Court in Versailles
you have no idea how to court a woman do you
you must make her feel
like she is the most beautiful flower in the world
and you are the bringer of the sun and the rain
her protector, the one person she can trust absolutely
who is able to unlock the key to release her passion

the art of giving gifts when courting a woman
is far too refined a subject for this board
I don’t want to delve into the merits of Cracker Jacks vrs Pez vrs Sees Candy

here’s my advice
a good scout always knows the territory
so what are this UA woman’s interests, hobbies, etc
bring gifts that relate to that

[brownbeard99]

Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to hit the mall today  and see if any jewelry catches my eye...

It’s just my luck to meet a girl who only wears white gold...

There are no half ass jewelry options here.  Good thing she already has the diamond tennis bracelet taken care of...

[GenMish]

When it comes down to it, don’t all women have an agenda?

I am constantly trying to demonstrate to this girl what my standard of living is like.  Since she lived in Switzerland part time, she seems to have a better understanding that $100 does not go as far in some countries as it does in Ukraine. For example, she goes to this restaurant where she can get a large sushi roll for about $3.  I told her that same roll will be $15-$18 here.  I have taken her with me on virtual shopping trips so she can get a better idea how expensive it is to live here.

,,,,,,  I want a girl to feel confident I can take care of her, but don’t want her to expect massive wealth.

I think the USA is incredibly inexpensive place to live. My lifestyle would be 50% or more anywhere else probably double in Moscow. btw-I dont think there are better values for sushi than here. That $3 McSushi roll in Ukraine is nothing like the $15 rolls you will get in the USA. If you want good inexpensive sushi go to lunch specials. Around me there are at least 3 places that have $10 lunches that are two rolls, soup and salad. Good dinners here with Sushi, Nigiri and Sashimi at a nice restaurant can be done for about $35pp . You are in Chicago? Just go over to Kona Grill at Happy Hour and order a roll and beer for $7, take a pic, then send her that photo. I was just down on Merrit Island in Florida and went to a good restaurant for lunch, the $13 special was so big, I took half to my hotel and it covered dinner

  There is inexpensive food in the FSU, but most of it sucks except for certain items like Caviar and Smoked Fish


Anyways that's pennies, your main costs bringing her here will be things like Dr Visits and health insurance, a car, some College classes  etc... She might need dental work done etc....

Gifts? If it were me, I would find out her favorite perfume

[krimster2]

women have jewelry preferences
you can always talk to her indirectly about the subject
like "my mother had blah blah kind of jewelry, what kind do you have in Ukraine"
to get her to talk about it - steer the conversation into her preferences
rings are hard to buy because of sizing issue, course if you had her size...

necklaces are usually a safe bet
doesn't HAVE to be diamond, but something SHARP looking

http://www.macys.com/shop/jewelry-watches/necklaces/Metal/Platinum%7CWhite%20Gold?id=9569

[jone]

Right. 

Gonna get into jewelry buying and comparison issues to previous boyfriends right off the bat.  Sounds intelligent to me.

We had a guy on here, who is now gone, who bought his gal jewelry the first trip to Moscow.  She appreciated it, but used it as a gauge in the future to see how his interest was in her.   We used to call her Sasha Coaster.   When he gave her jewelry, she was all hugs and kisses.  But when she was not being handed the bling she was morose. She drove the guy to drink and she eventually dumped him to find someone who would give her more.  (We totaled up what he had given her and it was in excess of $40,000 in jewelry.)

My point being that if you do more than 'interest' gifts at the first meeting, you will be hard pressed to understand where this gal's interests really lie.  And unless you're willing to make jewelry giving a standard, then you will be forever disappointing her when you give her something less than bling.

[brownbeard99]

I guess all girls are different.  She started asking a lot of questions when I started hinting around trying to get her size and preferences.

The bottom line is she doesn’t want me buying her Sh*t.  She said If she wants something, she will buy it for herself with her own money.  The gold digger theories aren’t looking too strong at this point.

As for necklaces... she has three that she wears every day. She doesn’t have room for more.  She doesn’t want more.  She has three earrings in each ear and rarely changes them out because they all have special meaning...

Candy is looking better and better...

[LAman]

Well, duh!  I am bringing that already.

Except I’m bringing any unused ones home with me.

That’s good idea bringing home what’s left, you will be able to return the item and get refund!!! )))

[BillyB]

If the girl is used to guys buying her expensive gifts, I want to be the opposite of that.  I want to discourage any women who may be interested in me for financial reasons.

Let things flow naturally and see how she shows you her city. If she takes you into expensive shops and ask you to buy her things, she's not a keeper. My wife never asked me to buy her anything when I visited her. A woman with good manners will not ask a guy she just met to buy her something.

[jone]

Let things flow naturally and see how she shows you her city. If she takes you into expensive shops and ask you to buy her things, she's not a keeper. My wife never asked me to buy her anything when I visited her. A woman with good manners will not ask a guy she just met to buy her something.

Ahem, Billy,

Your wife was a teenager when you met her.   This woman is not.  Nevertheless, if a woman is asking you, the first time you are together to buy her things then she is not someone that would interest me.   The first time together is ALL about chemistry.   

[GenMish]

The last several posts reminded me of the Benny Hill Peanut Skit. For those that haven't seen it, it starts with Benny Hill dancing with a few gorgeous women. He then takes out a bag of peanuts from his pocket, and offers a peanut to one of the ladies. She refuses. He keeps offering, she keeps refusing. Finally Benny asks 'Why are you refusing a peanut?'
She replies ' I don't want to feel obligated to you for the evening'
Benny responds 'ITS A PEANUT!, you wouldn't be obligated to me for a peanut! Its not like its a Candy Bar'

[krimster2]

you guys don’t get IT AT ALL!!!
it’s NOT ABOUT you buying her with a candy bar, no, no, no....
it’s about YOU demonstrating to HER  that you’re comfortable making these kind of luxury purchases for her now and in the FUTURE!!!!!
cuz news flash, despite what YOU’RE thinking, SHE’S TOTALLY thinking this way!!!

[jone]

you guys don’t get IT AT ALL!!!
it’s NOT ABOUT you buying her with a candy bar, no, no, no....
it’s about demonstrating that you’re comfortable making these kind of luxury purchases for her!!!!!
cuz news flash, despite what YOU’RE thinking, SHE’S TOTALLY thinking this way!!!

No.  They aren't.   Were I to spend that much on a woman at the first time we met, unless she was a gold digger, her first thought would be that I was trying to buy my way into her pants.   Good FSUW are very practical.   They want to know that you will provide for them.  But, absent a previous relationship, they would consider bling gifts the first time you met to be nothing more than a bribe.

Of course, if you are Krimster, you're used to paying for sleeping with women.   Sorry, Krim, but that is the reputation you have on this forum.

[2tallbill]

The bottom line is she doesn’t want me buying her Sh*t.  cause they all have special meaning...

Candy is looking better and better...

If you haven't met her in person, my advice would be to buy her

1. Table top style picture books of the area surrounding where you live: You can find them at
Barnes and Noble or Amazon. These books show her some of the interesting things near where
you live. Go through the book so that you can have a little story or anecdote about each page.
Doing this highly personalizes the gift and gets her thinking of life with you, where you live.


2. Chocolate: She likes either dark or light so find out which and bring some high quality truffles
with you.   http://www.yelp.com/search?cflt=chocolate&find_loc=Chicago%2C+IL


3. Some Real Maple syrup: It's still fairly uncommon in Russia, tell her it's for blini. Ask her to
make some for you. They have Marshmallows in the FSU, but they are rare. So bring some Swiss
Miss cocoa and drop a couple marshmallows in the cup to melt on top. It's just a little something
different from home and it's always easy to find an excuse to drink hot cocoa.


4. Something local: a Black Hawks Tee or one of the local sports team (remember she is smaller than
American girls), probably a Small or extra small. Pear Tree preserves make local jams in Chicago. Maybe
some strawberry rhubarb (I made it this year)
http://voyagechicago.com/interview/meet-susie-kirkwood-pear-tree-preserves-humboldt-park-chicago/


5. Something handmade: If you can make something better than a paperclip necklace or a pirate hat
from a newspaper. Although those are GREAT Gifts to be made on the spot for nieces and nephews.
Hand made gifts are the best.


These are excellent things to give an FSUW, they are personal, unique to you and the area you
live and don't cost much so they are easy for her to accept (and to cherish).


Udachi!

Bill

[krimster2]

"Of course, if you are Krimster, you're used to paying for sleeping with women.   Sorry, Krim, but that is the reputation you have on this forum."

no offense taken
because I acknowledge the fact that ALL men MUST pay for sex in one form or another...
married men typically pay the most

[GQBlues]

What a nutty thread. BB, you went from an alleged raging serial dating Casanova to the typical MOBer. You need to chill a bit man. You’re talking about jewelry for someone you haven’t met?

I thought better of you, man.

Thoughts of this gal is sitting way too long in your mind. Nothing wrong with wovo but living life with someone through imagined expectations is absurd. Take your trip, meet the person and find out how both of you feel. There’s plenty of time to live you life after if it’s called for.

Sees candy is fine. Remember one thing about Slavs and their chocolates, they’ll check the cocoa content. So don’t make that a habit.

Relax man. Date like you said you can where you are. That’s all this is at this time. Likely will be a while.

[jone]

Oh, that is too funny.   

I am sitting here looking at a chocolate bar with 77% cocoa content.   The remnants of a chocolate binge.   I never liked the cocoa that strong, but the FSUW love it.   And would have higher cocoa content if they could have it.   That is a standing joke.   I'll propose to get her a chocolate bar and she will politely decline it.   Then I will hem and haw and produce one with the required percentage.  70 seems to be the minimum.

For those whose requirements are not being met, this particular bar is from Chocolove out of Boulder, CO. 

BB, don't worry about the Sees Candy.   She'll love that its coming from you and that you cared enough to think about her.   

[jone]

"Of course, if you are Krimster, you're used to paying for sleeping with women.   Sorry, Krim, but that is the reputation you have on this forum."

no offense taken
because I acknowledge the fact that ALL men MUST pay for sex in one form or another...
married men typically pay the most

National Treasure:  There is only one debt that all men pay.....

[brownbeard99]

What a nutty thread. BB, you went from an alleged raging serial dating Casanova to the typical MOBer. You need to chill a bit man. You’re talking about jewelry for someone you haven’t met?

I thought better of you, man.

Thoughts of this gal is sitting way too long in your mind. Nothing wrong with wovo but living life with someone through imagined expectations is absurd. Take your trip, meet the person and find out how both of you feel. There’s plenty of time to live you life after if it’s called for.

Sees candy is fine. Remember one thing about Slavs and their chocolates, they’ll check the cocoa content. So don’t make that a habit.

Relax man. Date like you said you can where you are. That’s all this is at this time. Likely will be a while.

Thanks for the reality check.  I needed that slap upside the head.

Yes, I am overthinking this... As is said earlier, I had no intentions of giving any gifts originally. I would rather not even give the candy.  It just not my style... but I don’t want to be culturally insensitive.

When I was “courting” my ex wives, I didn’t buy them Sh*t.  In fact, I took my second wife out to dinner on her birthday when we were engaged.  I completely forgot it was her birthday.  She kept expecting me to pull out a present all night.  It never happened.  The next day she questioned me about it.  All she got from me for her birthday was an “oops, sorry!”.  It didn’t stop her from marrying me a month later....

I guess I’m just really hoping to get out of this dating rut I am in.  I know it’s going to be hard to be abstinent at home if I meet miss perfect over there.  As much as I like this UW, I didn’t hesitate for a minute to sleep with another girl earlier today... hopefully I would have a little more self control if we were actually dating.  I want something with more substance....

[jone]

Thanks for the reality check.  I needed that slap upside the head.

Yes, I am overthinking this... As is said earlier, I had no intentions of giving any gifts originally. I would rather not even give the candy.  It just not my style... but I don’t want to be culturally insensitive.

When I was “courting” my ex wives, I didn’t buy them Sh*t.  In fact, I took my second wife out to dinner on her birthday when we were engaged.  I completely forgot it was her birthday.  She kept expecting me to pull out a present all night.  It never happened.  The next day she questioned me about it.  All she got from me for her birthday was an “oops, sorry!”.  It didn’t stop her from marrying me a month later....

I guess I’m just really hoping to get out of this dating rut I am in.  I know it’s going to be hard to be abstinent at home if I meet miss perfect over there.  As much as I like this UW, I didn’t hesitate for a minute to sleep with another girl earlier today... hopefully I would have a little more self control if we were actually dating.  I want something with more substance....

Yeah, the hardest part is the long distance aspect of the relationship.   You may have all the right ingredients for a relationship, but if you and she are G.U. (geographically undesirable) the relationship goes downhill in a hurry.

[SteveInBoston]

My first trip I got her a Patriots jersey and Red Sox hat, and Celtics shirt and shorts for her nephews.

She had a gift for me - an expensive hand embroidered vyshyvanka.

It is more about that you care enough to get her something.  Also, something unusual didn't hurt.

[Trenchcoat]

I get the impression that a lot of UW are more open to relationships with a greater variety of men than in the west. That UW are less bothered about finding 'the one' - if they even know that as a concept - and more about getting into a relationship with 'a guy in general'. So that what is important is that they find a man they can at least get along with as preferable to being left on the shelf. So they are pleased to receive interest from many a man. They know that some may be more suitable but as the Ukrainian  dating market favours the man they can't afford to be too fussy. I get the impression as such if you push the boat out even some of the UW that you don't fit with real well will come around given the right approach and some wooing.

[JayH]

You should write a book Trench. You could title it, ‘The Clueless Cheapskates Guide to Dating a FSUW.’

That is a thread title that needs doing  ie


‘The Clueless Cheapskates Guide to Dating a FSUW.’ via Trenchcoat

If you don't --I will !!

Seriously -- I wrote in thread  of what to buy ( ie next to nothing) for first meeting  . I note the op has  ignored that --instead he listens to some truly clueless ( Trenchcoat)and near clueless (BillyB) and some ridiculous ( the K) comments for info.

I make no claim on knowing everything or suggesting there is only one way to do anything --BUT -- giving much credence to a guy with next to zero time on the ground ( trench = what ?6 days of failure?)  and guys who make ridiculous bragging claims from a yesteryear etc etc --compared with my average of well over 100 days a year in Ukraine over some years( quite a few in fact) etc etc

A few facts-- there is very little I can think of not available to buy in Ukraine -get your head around that.The last 24 hours-- the shops have been packed-- and i mean incredibly busy everywhere you turn --put that in the Trenchcoat pipe and smoke it !!

This in not the 1990's where girls did try and escape-- and tried to find a meal ticket to feed her family-- those days are long gone now.Unless guys are big city savvy &  cool ( ie interesting)-- chances are Ukrainian girls are going to be out of bounds for them . FULL STOP. Now that applies to a guy in a decent age range --if older and a bigger age gap-- a guy will really need something going for him.

If you have Trenchcoat type cheap in your head and are going to quibble over every cent you spend -- forget it -- you are wasting your time . FULL STOP
Today  above -I just read the height of ridiculous -- ie buying flowers to carry on an airplane LoL -too stupid for words.