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Author Topic: How to Visit Many without lying?  (Read 122151 times)

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Offline brownbeard99

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How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #325 on: November 17, 2018, 04:16:26 PM »
And  we both were and are very determined to make things work. So it does not matter - with or without kids - if you are determined to make things work, they will.

I really have to agree with Donna on here.  It comes down to a deeper commitment to the marriage.

Before my second marriage began, I was extremely determined to make this next marriage work, no matter what. We had lengthy discussions and made agreement on everything from child raising, to finances to household responsibilities.  We took notes and had everything on paper.  We also went to counseling, did psychological testing, went to seminars, read books, etc.

Underlying all of that was a mutual agreement that we would work through any problem, no matter how difficult.  Divorce was not an option.

No matter how much you discuss things, you have no idea what issues will come up raising three ten year olds and a six year old.  You just have to trust in your mutual commitment to work it out.

Several years into the marriage, my wife said she changed her mind about things she previously agreed to.  She knew I was 100% committed to the marriage “no matter what”, so she saw that as carte blanche to do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted.

Finally she realized getting her way all the time wasn’t enough. She didn’t want to be a mom anymore, so she walked out on all of us.

Certain things you just can’t know or predict ahead of time, no matter how much due diligence you perform.

Offline BillyB

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« Reply #326 on: November 17, 2018, 08:08:49 PM »
Mr. Pedro says that 75% of his problems in his previous marriage were kids.  ANd he was married to their mom. They had different approach to parenting.


Kids will be kids. They will misbehave and push their parents buttons. It's the adults that are in charge of parenting and the differences in parenting may lead to the divorce. I hate to blame the kids for something they're not in control of.

Our approach was somewhat different too, but mostly in details rather than core things.  And  we both were and are very determined to make things work. So it does not matter - with or without kids - if you are determined to make things work, they will.

Two good people make good things happen. Even when faced with bad situations or disagreements, you both are determined to find a solution and you value the institution of marriage thus nothing can break it up.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline brownbeard99

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« Reply #327 on: November 17, 2018, 10:40:31 PM »
Okay, a couple random etiquette questions.

I once heard that Eastern European women don’t  believe in hugging or kissing in the entrance area of a home (or right outside).... then I dated a Polish girl.  I would never kiss her until her apartment door was securely closed and we were also a few feet inside her home.  She finally asked why I did that.  She told me that is nonsense.... Is this true for UW?

Is it common to take shoes off when entering one’s home? 

It’s funny... where I grew up in Southern California... I only knew a few people that did this... and my friends all thought it was weird.  Now that I live in the Chicago area... everyone does it... probably has something to do with snow on everyone’s shoes...

Offline JayH

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« Reply #328 on: November 17, 2018, 11:01:34 PM »
Okay, a couple random etiquette questions.

I once heard that Eastern European women don’t  believe in hugging or kissing in the entrance area of a home (or right outside).... then I dated a Polish girl.  I would never kiss her until her apartment door was securely closed and we were also a few feet inside her home.  She finally asked why I did that.  She told me that is nonsense.... Is this true for UW?

Is it common to take shoes off when entering one’s home? 

It’s funny... where I grew up in Southern California... I only knew a few people that did this... and my friends all thought it was weird.  Now that I live in the Chicago area... everyone does it... probably has something to do with snow on everyone’s shoes...

Take shoes of 100% -- virtually without exception . If in any doubt - look at host & other visitors for a lead -- even ask .

On affection-no idea  -never heard that !   be careful about trying to impose affection publically -- err on the side of caution -- follow here lead and be sensitive to surroundings.
Do not insist on visiting her home or anyone's.
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline brownbeard99

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« Reply #329 on: November 20, 2018, 09:07:23 AM »
Okay, so I’m having issues with my credit card and my bank!

I used bookkng.com to reserve my apartment.  The aparment tried to get a deposit (one day rent) and it was declined.  I called my bank and discovered that I cannot make any purchase in Ukraine because it is on the “banned” list of countries.

I was going to get a prepaid Travel Visa with AAA, but transactions in Ukraine are banned with them too. 

Has anyone experienced problems like this?  What are the best solutions?

Offline Nightwish

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« Reply #330 on: November 20, 2018, 11:04:11 AM »
Okay, so I’m having issues with my credit card and my bank!

I used bookkng.com to reserve my apartment.  The aparment tried to get a deposit (one day rent) and it was declined.  I called my bank and discovered that I cannot make any purchase in Ukraine because it is on the “banned” list of countries.

I was going to get a prepaid Travel Visa with AAA, but transactions in Ukraine are banned with them too. 

Has anyone experienced problems like this?  What are the best solutions?

I have used prepaid mastercards without any issues. One is currently being used frequently by my MIL, we deposit every month to it and she uses it both to pay with in stores and withdraw money.
 
Two web-based I have tried and have no issues with ever ( maybe you got more options in the states. )
Skrill.com
neteller.com
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

Offline msmob

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« Reply #331 on: November 20, 2018, 11:36:07 AM »
Okay, so I’m having issues with my credit card and my bank!

I have this issue with online payment in Russia ... but NOT at ATMs / Terminals ..

Have you tried at an ATM or buying something in a food store ?

Offline Trenchcoat

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« Reply #332 on: November 20, 2018, 11:57:27 AM »
I have used prepaid mastercards without any issues. One is currently being used frequently by my MIL, we deposit every month to it and she uses it both to pay with in stores and withdraw money.
 
Two web-based I have tried and have no issues with ever ( maybe you got more options in the states. )
Skrill.com
neteller.com

Do these prepaid Mastercards work for topping up on Ukrainian Mobile Phone sites?
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline brownbeard99

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« Reply #333 on: November 20, 2018, 12:06:13 PM »
Thanks for the tips... I worked it out with my bank and they made an exception for me regarding their “no Ukraine” policy.  It’s kind of funny... they asked more invasive “why are you going to Ukraine?” questions than the UW ask.

Offline Trenchcoat

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« Reply #334 on: November 20, 2018, 12:07:26 PM »
Okay, so I’m having issues with my credit card and my bank!

I used bookkng.com to reserve my apartment.  The aparment tried to get a deposit (one day rent) and it was declined.  I called my bank and discovered that I cannot make any purchase in Ukraine because it is on the “banned” list of countries.

I was going to get a prepaid Travel Visa with AAA, but transactions in Ukraine are banned with them too. 

Has anyone experienced problems like this?  What are the best solutions?

When I used Bookings.com this summer for an Apartment in Lviv they would only accept payment in cash - Ghrvina or Euros, Dollars, etc. I personally don't like walking around with much in the way of paper money in Ukraine as it's a pain. On card I know my money is less likely to walk off, lol.

Hotels may be different. Think the credit card problem only tends to be if your paying outside Ukraine. Many hotels can take card payment while you are there so no problem, apartment owners don't tend to have that facility.

Apartments can also be a pain trying to get to when there, many aren't run as well/organised as hotels. So a hotel may be an easier fix at least for the first day or two off arrival so you get your bearings around the place.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline SteveInBoston

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« Reply #335 on: November 20, 2018, 01:52:43 PM »
I have a Citibank Visa and another Visa and Visa Debit card with my personal bank (federal credit union, actually).  I set up travel notices with both institutions and have no trouble using any of the three in Ukraine.

I stopped using Booking.com for apartments for the reason mentioned above - most apartment owners there require payment in cash, and also a cash deposit, via paypal or western union.

I would recommend using Airbnb.  The apartments there tend to be a bit higher per night vs some of the ones available on Booking.com, but there's never any issue with payment.  Airbnb handles all the transaction, and because the credit card is charged to Airbnb out of CA, there's also no issue about foreign transactions.

Booking.com is great if you want a hotel room - much better than Hotel.com or other platforms.

Online 2tallbill

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« Reply #336 on: November 20, 2018, 02:35:06 PM »
I don’t think that was what Bill was getting at. It was more that having a deep discussion on all kinds of issues, children being one, would give an insight into a prospective partners thought processes and could flag areas of concern.

Exactly what my point was.

Bo has a point about people who've never had kids having totally unrealistic ideas
about how to raise them. Having conversations about it would still be wise in my
opinion
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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« Reply #337 on: November 20, 2018, 02:41:29 PM »
Thanks for the tips... I worked it out with my bank and they made an exception for me regarding
their “no Ukraine” policy.  It’s kind of funny... they asked more invasive “why are you going to
Ukraine?” questions than the UW ask.

That's funny. My experience is the less you say the less invasive a bank will be.
1. Tourism
2. I'm a secret agent, none of your Business

I was in Kiev one time (of course I told them I was traveling) and none of my bank
cards worked and they wouldn't do anything to help me until I was back on American
soil. So I got American Express to wire me $3000.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline brownbeard99

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« Reply #338 on: November 20, 2018, 03:44:10 PM »
When I used Bookings.com this summer for an Apartment in Lviv they would only accept payment in cash - Ghrvina or Euros, Dollars, etc. I personally don't like walking around with much in the way of paper money in Ukraine as it's a pain. On card I know my money is less likely to walk off, lol.

Hotels may be different. Think the credit card problem only tends to be if your paying outside Ukraine. Many hotels can take card payment while you are there so no problem, apartment owners don't tend to have that facility.

Apartments can also be a pain trying to get to when there, many aren't run as well/organised as hotels. So a hotel may be an easier fix at least for the first day or two off arrival so you get your bearings around the place.
Yea, it’s kind of a pain, but I think it will work out.  The apartment building I am staying in is huge.  The company I am renting from has several listings in the same building... there were several other people listing rentals in the same building.

I was still unsure about how I pay and how I coordinate everything when I get there, so the girl I’m seeing offered to call them to get a handle on how it is going to work.  I figure it must be a pretty decent apartment... it’s in the same building my girl lives in... and she’s a rich daughter of a Mafia crime boss (as has been speculated).

She’s making me feel a bit better about her trip to Turkey.  She sends me texts and pictures every few minutes.... if she is with another guy, he must be getting pretty pissed off by now.

Online krimster2

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« Reply #339 on: November 20, 2018, 04:14:06 PM »
gosh!

I would think that a Harvard MBA would know basic personal finance procedures and that you ALWAYS notify your CC issuer before travel in a foreign country otherwise charges might be rejected

and if you think your bank made an exception "just for you" that's FUNNY
just tell them in the first place as you did

Harvard MBA?  IQ of 147?

more like High School and barely 100....


ditto about AirBnb,
great place to do business
sometimes hard to rent a desirable property long term, because of someone else booking ahead
but otherwise 5 stars
« Last Edit: November 20, 2018, 04:59:58 PM by krimster2 »

Offline brownbeard99

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« Reply #340 on: November 20, 2018, 04:35:12 PM »
That's funny. My experience is the less you say the less invasive a bank will be.
1. Tourism
2. I'm a secret agent, none of your Business

I was in Kiev one time (of course I told them I was traveling) and none of my bank
cards worked and they wouldn't do anything to help me until I was back on American
soil. So I got American Express to wire me $3000.

Yea, I guess it’s the price I pay for switching from a major bank to credit unions.

With normal banks, I used to call and just give them a heads up when I am out of the country... never a problem.  My credit unions are not so user friendly.

Neither one ever had a problem in North America, or Asia (Japan, Thailand, China, Korea), but something about Ukraine gets their feathers all ruffled.  One credit union absolutely refused to let me make charges in Ukraine, but the other one made a “special exception” for me.  Strange...

Offline Davo2

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« Reply #341 on: November 20, 2018, 04:37:28 PM »
gosh!

I would think that a Harvard MBA would know that it's standard operating procedure to notify your CC issuer before travel in a foreign country
otherwise charges might be rejected

My bank rejected my first attempt to pay for airfares to Russia.

Offline GenMish

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« Reply #342 on: November 20, 2018, 04:51:04 PM »
I think there are different credit card issues being discussed

Point of sale at the designated country will be allowable everywhere as long as you inform your CC co of your travel plans. However, if they think your card is compromised, they might shut down your card

Second, are specific websites and payees in other countries that your CC Co might not allow

Third is your CC Company assessment of your purchasing patterns, and flagging(and even denying) unusual purchases
« Last Edit: November 20, 2018, 05:00:31 PM by GenMish »

Offline BillyB

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« Reply #343 on: November 20, 2018, 11:33:03 PM »
she’s a rich daughter of a Mafia crime boss (as has been speculated).


You better speculate bringing a self addressed, postage paid body bag with you so the authorities can mail you home in case you piss off her dad.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

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« Reply #344 on: November 20, 2018, 11:49:06 PM »
Re credit cards, never had an issue. I always inform the bank before I go overseas.

Re apartments, your best option is AirBnB. I would only recommend booking.com for hotels. I use a local agency but as staff don't speak English I wouldn't recommend to you - though they have better rates and provide more options.

Always take cash!

Online 2tallbill

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« Reply #345 on: November 21, 2018, 10:47:09 AM »
My bank rejected my first attempt to pay for airfares to Russia.

Yeah, me too. I ended up using an intermediary like Kayak.com, priceline, travelocity etc.
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline Trenchcoat

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« Reply #346 on: November 21, 2018, 01:52:51 PM »
Yea, it’s kind of a pain, but I think it will work out.  The apartment building I am staying in is huge.  The company I am renting from has several listings in the same building... there were several other people listing rentals in the same building.

I was still unsure about how I pay and how I coordinate everything when I get there, so the girl I’m seeing offered to call them to get a handle on how it is going to work.  I figure it must be a pretty decent apartment... it’s in the same building my girl lives in... and she’s a rich daughter of a Mafia crime boss (as has been speculated).

She’s making me feel a bit better about her trip to Turkey.  She sends me texts and pictures every few minutes.... if she is with another guy, he must be getting pretty pissed off by now.

Good she is going to follow up on the situation with the apartment for you BB. The Apartment crowd can have some strange set ups. What looks like all in the same building online can actually turn out to be various apartments throughout the city with just one apartment in that building. If it is the same building and of course that could be the case then it's not too bad but either way not all Apartment owners have an office and if they do it may be in another location or not open all the time. So if she can give you the heads up on it all its all good. Though even still I would go in expecting the unexpected. Apartment conventions that are all straight forward to her may be news to you. That and she may only be so invested in looking into it for you so may not ask into all the ins & outs. Not saying it will be arduous for you many times it can be fine but also an idea to be aware that sometimes it's not always plain sailing.

What's your take BB on her potentially being part of a mafia/dirty money family BB? If this is the case and you got on with the girl where do you see yourself as fitting in if at all into the equation?
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline brownbeard99

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« Reply #347 on: November 21, 2018, 03:59:47 PM »
What's your take BB on her potentially being part of a mafia/dirty money family BB? If this is the case and you got on with the girl where do you see yourself as fitting in if at all into the equation?
I guess time will tell on this.  I know she has money... at least by Ukrainian standards. A bottle of red wine exploded on her luggage on her Turkey vacation. The dry cleaning bill was $300.  This forum has made me wary of any time a girl has a problem that can be solved with money.  I asked her “what are you going to do?”  She paid the bill without batting an eye.

Her last boyfriend was some rich guy from Switzerland.  He would fly her all over Europe. She was on constant vacation for two years and he wouldn’t let her work.  I think she felt like his toy or his trophy or something. He didn’t want to get married or settle down... he just wanted to travel and party.

She said he is still kind of friends with her parents.  They really don’t want her with him.  They want her to be happy and settle down with a man with a more stable life.  The good news is that even though they don’t really like the guy, they haven’t buried him in a shallow grave or anything.

So, as long as I keep her happy and them happy... does it matter how they got their money?  I am an outsider and they would most likely never want to involve me in their affairs, even if I married their daughter.  She was married before and her ex husband had some involvement with the family business, but when she sent him packing, her parents never fitted him with a pair of cement shoes.

So, all this to say... maybe they are legit business people and maybe they are connected... but I think it’s possible to be with this girl either way without putting my life in danger (unless she has other ex boyfriends she hasn’t mentioned who sleep  with the fishes)

Offline JayH

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« Reply #348 on: November 21, 2018, 06:22:02 PM »

So, as long as I keep her happy and them happy... does it matter how they got their money?  .


Yes.

Reading all of this and earlier posts -- I am giving you somewhere from zero to less than 1% chance with this girl.

Make sure you keep updating us -that should be interesting.

As an aside --has she mentioned what type of car she drives?
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline BillyB

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« Reply #349 on: November 21, 2018, 07:26:58 PM »
I think it’s possible to be with this girl either way without putting my life in danger (unless she has other ex boyfriends she hasn’t mentioned who sleep  with the fishes)

I don't think you have anything to worry about when it comes to danger. She may be looking for a family life but she may not give up a lifestyle that you can't afford. If you're a quality man, she'd be a fool to give it up if you're a few dollars short.

Reading all of this and earlier posts -- I am giving you somewhere from zero to less than 1% chance with this girl.


Most guys haven't obtained a date with the girl. BB has. I'd say his chances are greater than that. I remember people making prediction on my relationship. They predicted my wife wouldn't marry me and when she did, they predicted she will leave me after getting the green card. After she got the green card, they predicted she would leave me when she got citizenship. When she got citizenship, they predicted she will leave me after sponsoring her mother. There's a lot of a lot of relationship experts here that refuse to believe they are wrong so they continue with predictions until they are right.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

 

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Ukrainian refugee working for me now by ML
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