Time for some Humor!!

[OlgaH]

I'd change the finale to: "die of natural causes on top of a beautiful SINGLE woman ))" But that's just me 

the happy end

They lived a long and happy life, and died on the same day in their bed... while making love... she in the morning and he closer to the evening.

[ML]

the happy end

They lived a long and happy life, and died on the same day in their bed... while making love... she in the morning and he closer to the evening.

Olga; I am shocked !!   

[ML]

New model available at WalMart.

And, believe it or not; but these sunglasses are available for only $8.95.

[OlgaH]

Olga; I am shocked !!   

why? 

[OlgaH]

In a Russian store:

- excuse me, do you have dorblu
-what is dorblu
- it is blue cheese, cheese with blue mold
- no, we don't have dorblu cheese with blue mold, but we have sausages dorblu and herring dorblu.


Russian products

Cake "Fairytale sex"

Black coffee granulated "Merry Hot-Dog"

[Eduard]

the happy end

They lived a long and happy life, and died on the same day in their bed... while making love... she in the morning and he closer to the evening.

sorry Olga, sounds a bit too kinky for my taste... according to this scenario he would be making love to his dead wife all day since she passed in the morning... ouch!

[OlgaH]

sorry Olga, sounds a bit too kinky for my taste... according to this scenario he would be making love to his dead wife all day since she passed in the morning... ouch!

oh well  I bet you know Russian dark humor

An old lord is sitting at his fire place smoking his cigar and having his drink.
Suddenly he sees how a man coming down the stairs from the lord's wife bedroom. The man notices the lord and says being confused... - Good evening Sir, your wife was too cold... The lord - She was not too hot when she was alive either. 


- "Nurse, where're we going?"
- "To the morgue."
- "But I haven't died yet!"
- "The doc said 'to the morgue' — to the morgue it is!"
- "But what is wrong with me?!"
- "The autopsy will show!"


In the restaurant a waiter to a client

- So, what do you think about our chief cook?
- mmm Excellent!
- I coked him myself (said the waiter proudly)

 

[Jumper]

[Eduard]

oh well  I bet you know Russian dark humor

An old lord is sitting at his fire place smoking his cigar and having his drink.
Suddenly he sees how a man coming down the stairs from the lord's wife bedroom. The man notices the lord and says being confused... - Good evening Sir, your wife was too cold... The lord - She was not too hot when she was alive either. 


- "Nurse, where're we going?"
- "To the morgue."
- "But I haven't died yet!"
- "The doc said 'to the morgue' — to the morgue it is!"
- "But what is wrong with me?!"
- "The autopsy will show!"


In the restaurant a waiter to a client

- So, what do you think about our chief cook?
- mmm Excellent!
- I coked him myself (said the waiter proudly)

[Ranetka]

Two old men were sitting on a porch with a hound dog between them. The dog had its leg hiked up and was licking itself. One of the old men said to the other, "I sure do wish I could do that."The other old man said, "You better not, that dog will bite you."

[ML]

Two old men were sitting on a porch with a hound dog between them. The dog had its leg hiked up and was licking itself. One of the old men said to the other, "I sure do wish I could do that."The other old man said, "You better not, that dog will bite you."

Ranetka, I am just getting over my shock from Olga's post, and now you add another jolt to my weak heart !!!   

[Ranetka]

Ranetka, I am just getting over my shock from Olga's post, and now you add another jolt to my weak heart !!!   

What, you thought I too was a little flower?    Yeah, right.

[ML]

What, you thought I too was a little flower?    Yeah, right.

- A little Flower -    A flower grew out of the ground
A tiny flower from the dirt
A tiny living soul from underground
A baby crawling from the dirt
A little innocence of wild color
A tiny spark of hope
A tiny pleasure free of charge
A flower that I called my own
A little baby ran towards it
A tiny flower crushed beneath the feet
A little human innocence
A little bliss destroyed by ignorance
A little flower dead on the ground
A little baby jumping up and down
And only me from my own window, witnessed the death of my own flower beneath the feet of blissful child without idea of his first crime...
 
  Dmitriy Kokarev

[2tallbill]

My girlfriend left a note on the refrigerator saying

"It's not working anymore, I give up and I am moving
back in with my mother".

I opened the door, the light came on and the beer was
still cold. I wonder what the heck she was talking about?

[Eduard]

My girlfriend left a note on the refrigerator saying

"It's not working anymore, I give up and I am moving
back in with my mother".

I opened the door, the light came on and the beer was
still cold. I wonder what the heck she was talking about?

Hey Bill, good to see you posting! 

[ML]

Oooppps, a repeat.  My Alzheimers at work.

[Shadow]

Oooppps, a repeat.  My Alzheimers at work.

A small test:
1. Do you remeber exactly what you did at 10:17 today ?
2. Do you remeber the first girl you kissed ?

Now after answering these questions, are you aware Alzheimer starts affecting the short-term memory ?

[ML]

A small test:
1. Do you remeber exactly what you did at 10:17 today ?
2. Do you remeber the first girl you kissed ?

Now after answering these questions, are you aware Alzheimer starts affecting the short-term memory ?

To be valid, a test would have to compare a significant event with another significant event;

or  a non significant event with another non significant event.

[Shadow]

To be valid, a test would have to compare a significant event with another significant event;

or  a non significant event with another non significant event.

Whis is why this test is on-topic.

[ML]

At some point in a guy's life... it comes down to this!

Four guys have been going on the same hunting trip for many years.

Two days before the group is to leave on their next trip, Buck's wife,  Leslie, puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.

Buck's buddies are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Buck sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.

"Gee Buck, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since last night.
 
Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, "Guess who?"

I pulled her hands off, turned around, and she was wearing a brand new see-through nightie.
Then she took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles lit and rose
petals all over the floor, and on the bed were handcuffs and ropes!
 
Then she told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, so I did.

Next she said, "Do whatever you want."

"And here I am ! "

[ML]

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie" with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:

"An ambulance just drove by!"

"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out.

"Matt's riding a new bike!"

"Looks like the Sanders are moving!"

"Jason is on his skate board!"

After a few moments he announced, "The Coopers are having sex!!"

Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out,

"How do you know they're having sex?"

"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle."

[Globetrotter]

A 90 year old couple had a history of having sex every Sunday afternoon, maling love to the rythem of the church bell.  One Sunday the husband died while making love.  Many people consoled the widow.  She said everything was as normal in their loving afternoon, until the ice cream truck drove by!

[SANDRO43]

Tillman, The Skateboarding Dog

[Eduard]

From a RW's personals ad on mamba:
* Спонсоры, поддержки и тому подобное не интересует! Я нормальный человек! А вы?
 * А ещё для особых ценителей объявление:
 ...УДАРЮ ПО ЯЙЦАМ ЗА 3000 РУБЛЕЙ !
 это мне не сложно так что не стесняйтесь!
                  

[newjason]

pay close attention, and watch until the very end..

Guy thinks his sister is hot