Maxx's rules of marital success by "being the man" with a RW wife.

[Maxx]

Maxx's rules of marital success by "being the man" with a RW wife.

1) Money: Always control your money. They have no need to know how much money you make or if you have gotten a bonus or other windfall. If they want a bigger "responsibility" in handling money let them handle their own. In other words, "go get a job". Keep her name off the mortgage and no joint checking or savings accounts until it looks like the marriage will work.

2) Demands for things: If what they ask for seems reasonable or needed tell them when you are going to get it. If you can't afford it in your opinion tell them "later" or simply "no". When pressed for when later is shrug your shoulders.

3)Sex: Every Russian woman knows she must take care of her man with his health need or she is grossly neglecting him. Don't complicate this. "Yah hachoo whatever" is all the Russian sweet talk you need to learn for your RW wife. Forget all the other details.

4) Handling RW rants and rages: Calmly stand there with a studying expression on your face. Do not speak a word. Then when her ranting is reaching it's peak show a very slight amused expression on your face, look at your watch and leave.

Maxx :dude:

[Elen]

I think rubber woman would show the best correlation with these rules.

[Todd]

This is very funny.... 

 

[BC]

... now if I could just find a 'dollie' made in RU

[MandM]

Maxx,

Have you used these 'rules of success' with Elvira? :?

[Bruno]

Maxx,

For your rule one, it is very difficult here in Belgium... for usual marriage, you have rule writen in the law... it is like a "pre-nups"... and join account are one of these rule,... like the choice of woning place, the financial participation in the budget of home in function of respective income, etc...

When you register your marriage in Belgium, you receive a little book ( marriage book ) where all these law article are writen... the very big advantage is that these rule protect your money from before the marriage datum and after the divorce... only all earned during the marriage periode need to be shared...

So system exist in all European country except UK who is half European, half like US...

About thing that you cannot afford, don't say later... it can be a lie... say only "ni cat chou"... i don't wish... they understand it... but don't begin to say that "it's too much expensive" or other excuse other they go think that you are greedy...

About your rule about sex, every russian men know it... but they every men know too that they is responsible for the family... it is why several RM quit RW when they are pregnant... too much responsability... and it is why several RW search WM... be special, don't be a RM... and about sex, take care... once you have it some time with RW, they can use it to control you and have what they will...

PS : it is only my personal opinion based on my common life during 7 year ( 5 year marriage ) with a RW... since each RW are different, adapt it to your case... in any case, your rule cannot work with all RW...

[jb]

Maxx,

I truely hope your tongue was firmly tucked deep into your cheek as you wrote this.

[Donna_Pedro]

[user=169]Elen[/user]

 :cool: :cool: :cool:

 

 Maxx..  shob ya tak zhil... I know you dont understand this, but there is no word in english language, that can reflect my attitude to your post better. Its not offensive. Its just a combination of  multiple controversial emotions in a range between "wtf" and "honey, drink a bear and go to bed"...

[Jet]

[user=115]Donna_Pedro[/user] wrote:

 Its just a combination of  multiple controversial emotions in a range between "wtf" and "honey, drink a bear and go to bed"...

 

 hehe, I'm thinking that a beer ain't gonna help. Either he needs a bunch or he's already had 1 too many!

[mischief]

LOL... Maxx, wake up and smell the roses!

[Maxx]

LOL... Maxx, wake up and smell the roses!

I did... :?

Maxx

 

[Daknack]

Most of #1 made sense.

All of #2 makes sense.

#3 not sure I fully agree

#4 That should be self evident.  If someone is ranting and making a fool out of themselves step out of the way and let it happen.

[BillyB]

And rule #5 is nucking futs. Don't do it under any circumstances!

[Maxx]

I decided to step out and take the flack (If there is) and own up to this masterpiece.

Danack questioned #3 

3)Sex: Every Russian woman knows she must take care of her man with his health need or she is grossly neglecting him. Don't complicate this. "Yah hachoo whatever" is all the Russian sweet talk you need to learn for your RW wife. Forget all the other details.

 

The "Don't complicate this." is the key words. If a beautiful woman is coming to you every night/day/afternoon/morning and giving you sex why not accept it as natural as her washing your socks  or brushing the lint off your jacket? Why introduce AW sexual politics in the bedroom by telling her that you are so greatful of her attention. Never let a woman think she has you under her sexual control. It is better that she is under your sexual control if she is so wired to be so. You are NOT responsible for her wiring either. If you complicate this you will eventually fail. In other words don't put yourself on the defensive.

Maxx 

[jb]

Maxx,

I'm thinking your marriage experience has taught you some lessons that many of us haven't had to learn. 

As for the question of "sexual control", it has never surfaced in this house.  We are married.  Married people have sex.  End of discussion.  She understands this issue very well, and after 5 years together still agrees with this idea.  I would never accept AW sexual politics in my bedroom and my wife knows it.

Maybe I'm just lucky, but I think this is pretty normal.

[Nando]

Maxx's rules of marital success by "being the man" with a RW wife.

1) Money: Always control your money. They have no need to know how much money you make or if you have gotten a bonus or other windfall. If they want a bigger "responsibility" in handling money let them handle their own. In other words, "go get a job". Keep her name off the mortgage and no joint checking or savings accounts until it looks like the marriage will work.

 

ahahah

Liked this one because it applies to all women, American, W. European, or Russian.

I had a beautiful Portuguese Woman that when she knew how much money I had said:

"you could had lend me 25 000 euros, to help with my divorce expenses"

What a "cute" phrase:X

Thank god we have 3 marriage options in this country, one of them is bullet proof for scammers...

because if she fills the divorce form, she may has to pay the husband a pension:P

If you don't work lol

 

 

[calcowboy1]

All I can say is WTF....

I cannot imagine anyone having a succesful relationship following these rules.  Maybe I am just different, however, if you have to have these rules in the first place, maybe you are married to the wrong person.  I would never be married to someone where I would have to incorporate these rules.

I have been married for just over a year to a lovely woman from Russia, and as for the rules go

1) - She pinches every cent of every dollar.  I am the one she reigns in when it comes to spending. 

2) - I have never seen a demanding side of her, ever, period, end of story.  I have had enough experience with North American demanding women, and knew how to avoid that personal trait.

3) - No need to go there, quite happy.

4) - Never seen a rant either.

Either I am just lucky, or I knew what I wanted and happened to find it.  Either way, I am one happy guy.

Cheers!!

Calcowboy

[Maxx]

Of course Calcowboy if it isn't broken don't fix it.

The rules are for men with difficult and demanding RW. The fact that such women exist casts no reflection on your's so chill and good cheers to you good buddy.  

Maxx 

[rose]

Max, It seems to me that you already expect that all potencial RW are difficult and demanding b*tches. Great conclusion!!!

[Admin]

Max, It seems to me that you already expect that all potencial RW are difficult and demanding b*tches. Great conclusion!!!

Have you ever heard of the "Pygmalion Principle"?

It follows that most people will 'find' exactly what they expect to find.

Another way of looking at it is through the Cognitive Sciences and the 'Reticular Activating System' - which is a part of our brain that seeks out from the blizzard of information we are exposed to daily, and selects out ONLY those things we have declared 'important.'

None of this should suggest people employ the ostrich principle (hiding their heads in the sand) - but we all need to be aware of how we process events in our lives - and how that impacts future events.

FWIW

- Dan

[Maxx]

Not all Rose, just a fair number are difficult to impossible.

For your amusement I am posting a rant by Bean, an American husband about his Russian wife and his observations about RW in general. Again his observations.


[align=justify]

[align=justify]My wife and step daughter ar crazy IMHO!

My wife accuses me of "lying to her, cheating her and destroying her life." Acoording to her I have stolen 3 years of her life.

How about if we review the last 3 1/2 years:

1 trip to Spain ( Barcelona and Costa Brava)

1 Trip to Italy ( Rome, Florence, Vienna, Amalfi, Sorrento, Capri etc)

1 Trip to Domincan Republic All Inclusive for 2 Weeks

2 Motor Home trips of 6 weeks plus

2 Sailing trips of 6 weeks plus on a new 40' Catalina sailboat

3 trips to Florida from the Midwest

3 trips to Russia for more than 3 weeks each

1 trip to All inclusive resort in Turkey.

Never worked or contributed in any way to anything.

Demanded money of numerous occaisions. When my parents made a significant $ gift at Christmas she demand 1/2

She is now on the deed to my home and mortgage.


According to her "I have lied to her, cheated her and destroyed her life."

The last time I tried to have a conversation with her she accused me of stealing 3 years from her life.

I tried to point out:

1 She has travelled the world.

2 She has never worked or contibuted to our life.

3 She now speaks English.

4 She is a permament resident of the US.

5 She has a drivers license and a new car. (Buick Rendevous)

6 Her daughter will be a University Graduate in 5 months. ( She has lived with us in the US for 3 + years.)

7 They have destroyed and totalled 2 cars. (Note from Maxx: at last count 3)

8 My step daughter has spent every summer in Russia since they arrived 4 years ago.

9 blah, blah, blah

I could gone forever!

IMHO, you are crazy to marry a RW!

Bean[/align]
[align=justify] [/align]
[align=justify]
[align=justify]I am not done with my "RANT"

Will someone please explain to me how I "lied to her, cheated her and destroyed her life." How did I "steal 3 + years of her life?"

Richard asked if any board members could identify any personality or charcater disorders common to RW. I have tried to establish relationshipswith other RW/AM couples. Their experience is the same as mine. They (AM) dedicate, sacrifice and and give, give, give. It is never enough or good enough. Give them a 1 and 1/2 carat diamond and as soon as the see a RW with 2 carats.....you have effed up!

My conclusion is that my experience is typical.

My wife and step daughter are not bad people. They are simply products of their environment. They came her for a better life and simply couldn't figure out when they had it.

Needless to say, my marriage is over! This was the biggest mistake of my life!

I can't wait until I am out of this BS!

Bean[/align]
[align=justify] [/align]
[align=justify]
[align=justify]BTW, for those of you who suspect I am chauvinistic or demanding and perhaps my mental health is the cause of our failure, please be informed that I never had any domestic expectaions.

I never asked or expected my wife to cook, clean, do laundry or any other domestice "chores." From day one I simply asked her to be happy, enjoy life and try not to be too critical. She couldn't do it! She had platinum credit cards, debi cards, check book etc.

She was simply incapable of not judging me, criticising me and complaining. The more I gave the more she complained!

My experience with my "RW" is bizarre!

Perhaps I am totally at fault. I think I was way too generous in the beginning. I think I created an unrealistic expectation. I loved her and wanted to change her life. I phucked up! Big Time!

She's miserable and so am I. Hopefully we will find a way out of this mess!

Bean[/align]
[align=justify] [/align]
[align=justify]4 plus years later and they still only speak
russian to each other at home. Right in front of me and all the time.

To my fault and at my expense I still have no idea what they are talking about. All I know is that the vocabulary is harsh, often loud screaming, guttaral and often refers to me.

I have made repeated requests. "english only in the kitchen and dining room, to no avail.

I do know that the aftermath to their conversation is not good for my wife. my step daughter and especially for me.

Had I known I was marrying a woman so I could pay tribute her beauty, intelligence and sophistication I would'nt have gone through with it. If what you say is true and is typical or usual for RW then most of theses marriages are doomed.

It also answers Richard's origianl question regarding common character or personality disorders.

You may be on to something. If you are it needs to be published in the tablets something like this:

"One very good reason to marry an RW is so you will have someone to demean you, insult you and criticize you. Following her critique and condemnation you will be allowed to pay her tribute for her beauty and intelligence."

For the record, I married to have a life partner to love and share my life with.

Bean[/align][/align][/align][/align]

[Maxx]

A man marries his fiancee not his wife.

 

Apparently this saying had enough truth in it (a high enough statistical average) that it has endured in it's popularity to this day. That is there is a fair amount of RW (women in general) that only show their true natures to their husbands until after they marry. A poster up thread asked if he was lucky. Probably yes in that he married his fiancee and his wife. A clever RW in her environment can often fool an AM out of his.

I am not making an excuse for myself when I say this, but a number of you are lucky. If not then where is your great skills at detecting GCGs? And if you have them please share them with us because I am dying to get the answer on how to detect such creatures.

Maxx

 

[Goombah]

Well... I've only been married 6 weeks now, but so far, so good.

Only two complaints that rang home:  They do talk Russian to each other even when I'm present.  She is in ESL class now, and her daughter is absorbing English at school, so I suspect that will change with time.

Her 10 yo daughter has no concept of money.  She does not understand why we don't spend every weekend buying decorations for the house.  After all, she is in the land of milk and honey now living with a rich man!  I've been accused ONCE <by my wife> of "crushing her <the daughters>  dream" by refusing to buy her something, to which I replied with something like "Well, she needed to wake up sooner or later".  Its never come up since nor did I feel any recrimination from the statement.  Indeed, I've notice a keener sense of money management since.  For instance, we recently were out clothes shopping and they found a nice outfit for the daughter, but it was relatively expensive.  When I asked about it, she shared the price, and said she didn't think it was worth it.  Perhaps there was a slight wisp of hope in her voice that I would tell her to buy it anyhow, but I didn't, and she seemed to accept it.

Kevin

[Maxx]

Sounds like things are going well for you Goombah. Women can sometimes be a bit melodramatic in expressing themselves  (as if I never do).

Maxx

[Bruno]

According to her "I have lied to her, cheated her and destroyed her life."  The last time I tried to have a conversation with her she accused me of stealing 3 years from her life.  

I tried to point out:  
1 She has travelled the world.  
2 She has never worked or contibuted to our life.  
3 She now speaks English.  
4 She is a permament resident of the US.  
5 She has a drivers license and a new car. (Buick Rendevous)  
6 Her daughter will be a University Graduate in 5 months. ( She has lived with us in the US for 3 + years.)  
7 They have destroyed and totalled 2 cars. (Note from Maxx: at last count 3)  
8 My step daughter has spent every summer in Russia since they arrived 4 years ago.  
9 blah, blah, blah  I could gone forever!

Strange, the man is accused to "lie", "cheat", "destroy"... but he reply by money spend on the wife and daughter...

Is it relationship always linked to money ? Maybe the failure of marriage in these case is not due to money but to the fact that wife was waiting something other that money... if i good remember, some people call this "love"...

Let review the 9 point :
- Travel the world... i think that they have travel together... normal that a man travel with his own family... maybe he have hope travel alone ?
- She have never worked... Yep, like my own ex-wife... the mine have only try two half day in 6 year... but i know other RW who search work and are not lucky... these who was with low qualification find easily a job ( market, hairdresser, factory,... )... but these with high level in Russia have really difficult here... a russian doctor can maybe be a nurse but for be doctor, it ask a lot of time, study and money...
- She now speak English... wonderful... She have learn the language of his new host country... Itis her who have study the language... so, what is the problem ?
- Permanent resident... after 4 year in US, it is her right... this right is allowed by the law, not by the man...
- Driving license and car... something needed in US... In FSU, public transport exist almost everywhere, a car is not always needed... but in US, public transport are almost non-existant... of course, if you life in the center of New-York, it is not a problem...
- Daughter at University and graduate in 5 month... Great, these man have a daughter with brain, she certainly work hard in school... Since he have marry her mother, she is his daughter too... Is it not the function of parents to take care of education of children ?
- Destroy two car... Ok, she cannot drive... nothing related to Russian women but to every women... They have more crash that men but men have more deadly crash that women... not sure what is bad... destroy car or destroy life ?
- Daughter in russia during summer... Was the same with my daughter... since i have married a RW, i have know that summer will be used for visit Russian family... If you don't wish spend money yearly for visit family, marry your neightbour...
- blah, blah, blah....

Yes, it is really blah blah... reply to accusation by fact who are not related... His 9 point are thing that a normal husband need to make... but not the only one... not lie, not cheat can be added...

Sorry guys, but i try to see the story from other side... One accusation and several argument who have nothing to make with the accusation.... a little like these example :

Policeman : Your wife have a arm broken, why have you hurt her ?
Men : I love my family, i have give food to the dog this morning !!!

BAD LOGIC