Low response rate

[Ornet_life]

I have been using fdating and Elena’s models and have been getting a pretty low response rate. What kind of response rates do you guys typically get? In terms of looks I am a 4-5/10, just wondering if that has anything to do with it? I am 30 years old. Any advice?

[msmob]

Welcome

It COULD be a major factor...  sorry to say

In my - admittedly - half decade plus ago -  many women simply don't READ profiles

[Steamer]

Hard to say without seeing the ad.
What sort of description of yourself did you use?
What is a 'low' response rate?


I've found that 'IN GENERAL' R/U women are a bit more forgiving about looks than W/W which makes me wonder
what you wrote or the types of photos you used.

[JayH]

I have been using fdating and Elena’s models and have been getting a pretty low response rate. What kind of response rates do you guys typically get? In terms of looks I am a 4-5/10, just wondering if that has anything to do with it? I am 30 years old. Any advice?

Why   4-5 ?
 Are you fat?
Are you short?
Are you on the dole?
Are you as brainless as TC?
Do you have a beard ? (  a little current forum joke)
Did you post photos with tattoos?
In a check shirt?

[DaveNY]

Welcome Ornet_life

I'll give you the same advice I give everyone who's looking for a wife abroad, learn the lady's language. Take a course. Even better travel to Russia for a vacation and perhaps take a language course there.

I can tell you from personal experience that Moscow State University offers very good instruction and there are students there from around the world. Your future wife could end up being German or Swedish or Japanese. They have a truly diverse student population.

If you can say you've been to Russia (or whatever country you're looking), include a few photos and can speak a few words of Russian you might get a better response.

As for physical appearance I can honestly say in the 6 years I lived in Russia I saw some good looking RW dating some at best average looking men. Maybe the men were rich or had a good pickup line to get a date. The one caveat I will mention is that fat guys don't tend to do well in the FSU, IMO. 

In Russia and I believe it also happens in Ukraine, women are warned that foreign men are often sex tourists and visit simply to have sex with the local women.

If you have the time and money you could get a job in the country you're looking for a wife. Spend the semester teaching English or whatever job you can get. If you're there working the local women are going to look on you more favorably. 

http://www.philol.msu.ru/~leto/cont-obuchenie-en.htm

[ML]

In Russia and I believe it also happens in Ukraine, women are warned that foreign men are often sex tourists and visit simply to have sex with the local women.

For European men with short travel times . . . this may be true.

But for USA, Canadian, Australian men . . . a ludicrous idea.

[rwd123]

There is too little information provided and too many variables to give much advice. If you haven't subscribed to a paid service then you may not be taken seriously regardless of the content of your profile.

I would echo DaveNY's suggestion. Pick a city and go study Russian.

[Boethius]

If the OP has a career or a stable job, I don't think that dropping that to go study Russian abroad is not a wise choice. 


This post was composed without the aid of google.

[Jumper]

Why   4-5 ?
 Are you fat? No

Are you short? Yes

Are you on the dole? No

Are you as brainless as TC? Probably

Do you have a beard ? Yes and no,depends on the week and my mood.

Did you post photos with tattoos? Not intentionally but I have tattoos.

In a check shirt? No in a kind of oddly shaped striped one (like a fish)and to this day my wife still calls me polosatik .

True story.

Now we will see who knows what polosatik refers to.
Its something many RW like to eat when drinking beer.

(The rw cant play,  its not fair.)

[BillyB]

I have been using fdating and Elena’s models and have been getting a pretty low response rate.

Low response rate is what you should get. When you get a high response rate, beware of the site you're using. You could be trading love letters with Vladimir, the employee of the month.

[msmob]

Low response rate is what you should get.

So, you got a low response rate, too ..?

[BillyB]

So, you got a low response rate, too ..?

Yes. After I know I'm dealing with real women, those that respond, I had plenty of women to date and choose from. A guy only needs to be attractive to 10% of the women out there and he'll be a very busy man. Unfortunately a lot of men waste months or years chasing women they will never get to meet.

[msmob]

Yes. After I know I'm dealing with real women, those that respond, I had plenty of women to date and choose from. A guy only needs to be attractive to 10% of the women out there and he'll be a very busy man. Unfortunately a lot of men waste months or years chasing women they will never get to meet.

Yup my question went RIGHT over BillyB's head...bless

[Davo2]

Welcome, despite being almost two years on this journey, i'm not that much further down the road than you.

I started writing a short reply that turned into an epic novel about my experiences and mistakes online. I'll post it later once I reduce it a little.

I struggled Locally online when I first became single. I was told I was undatable, but with a lot of trial and error, I managed to master the online part of dating at least

Now I've been able to tweek a few things I tried when  dating locally, I'm not doing too bad on the fsu side of things. 75-80% reply rate on fdating and over 50 unopened first messages atm from women on dmnotify. Probably 5% meet my criteria.

Before people cry they are all scammers, I've replied to about 40 previously and have only found one obvious scammer. DM is the best site I've seen for removing non genuine women. Often they delete their profiles, before you have a chance to reply.

There's a totally different dynamic to the site over fdating, especially in regards to women making first contact, in my opinion.

A few things on my side is I'm chatting with older women with children (usually 38-42). I'm a full time father, which goes down well with single mother's  and for some reason everyone wants to chat with Australians

[ML]

. . . for some reason everyone wants to chat with Australians

Because their accent is so funny ?  :-))

[civi68]

Keep in mind that many women are getting several letters. Keep within 10 years of your age. Even when you get responses, some drop off after a few emails due to losing interest in you or the men in general. This does take some work. Many women want to find a guy or want to leave their country but for many, it has to be the right guy. You could also try writing women that are older than you.

[msmob]

Because their accent is so funny ?  :-))

Well at least they don't speak as if they have clothes pegs on their noses !

[2tallbill]

I have been using fdating and Elena’s models and have been getting a pretty low response rate.
What kind of response rates do you guys typically get? In terms of looks I am a 4-5/10, just wondering
if that has anything to do with it? I am 30 years old. Any advice?

Not everyone can be as devastatingly handsome and charming as me. 

Think of it as a numbers game. Make more contacts, sift through more replies
and keep grinding. There are a nearly infinite amount of FSUW from age 25-29
who want a husband and a family. You only have to find ONE that thinks you are
the answer to her dreams.

 

[Trenchcoat]

I have been using fdating and Elena’s models and have been getting a pretty low response rate. What kind of response rates do you guys typically get? In terms of looks I am a 4-5/10, just wondering if that has anything to do with it? I am 30 years old. Any advice?

Its not often a guy will rate himself a 4-5. Most guys will say they are towards the higher end even if they are not whether they realise it or not.

Why do you think you are a 4-5?

It could be that you are honest at self analysing yourself. I think that is difficult for many guys to do. Ask yourself is there anything you can do to bring yourself up a point or two higher - lose weight, go to the gym at least once a week for an hour or so, dress better, smarter clothes, decent quality clothes, smiling in photos, covering up tattoos, etc.

I too have found a low response rates on some sites, but I was going for girls without kids that were hotties On EM about 3 years ago now though I had plenty of girls contactin me though about half were later removed for some reason or another. Possibly EM might have stopped using affliate agencies so less mass mailings from them.

Consider also what the women out that way want and how well you match up to it, i.e, a provider, someone that doesn't look rough i.e like they might be an alcoholic/druggie, not well overweight, etc.

Read up here also on previous thread on all different subjects. The more you learn about FSW the more of an idea you'll get as to what they are after.

[rwd123]

If the OP has a career or a stable job, I don't think that dropping that to go study Russian abroad is not a wise choice. 

Many universities offer summer courses. Going for a month to study should be feasible for any man considering international dating.

Anyway, if he's 30 and single why not be adventurous? You're only young once.

[Davo2]

Because their accent is so funny ?  :-))

Hhaaa..... You could be right ML.

Us Aussies are known to be laid back, with a good sense of humour. Put that together with the reason for our accent and who doesn't like a laid back, funny  drunk? 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/australia/11957994/Gday-mate-Lazy-Australian-accent-caused-by-alcoholic-slur-of-heavy-drinking-early-settlers.html

[2tallbill]

Many universities offer summer courses. Going for a month to study should be feasible for any man considering international dating.

Anyway, if he's 30 and single why not be adventurous? You're only young once.

I would recommend it for US guys right out of college, but not somebody 30
years old. Let's say that he spends a year in the FSU and then finds the perfect
girl, next he goes to USCIS to file a K1 where he must prove that he makes
125% of the poverty rate to qualify to bring her to the USA.

Your idea of a month or so makes more sense but few employers would be
keen on letting him off so long. 

[BillyB]

In terms of looks I am a 4-5/10, just wondering if that has anything to do with it? I am 30 years old. Any advice?

I've seen ugly fat guys with beautiful women. The relationship must be of equals for it to have a chance to survive. If you want a woman that's a 10 in looks, you must be a 10 in something too. You could be a 10 in money, charisma, intelligence, etc... You can't change much on how you look but you can improve in other areas of life so that you will be an attractive person to the ladies.

[brownbeard99]

Don’t kid yourself. It’s almost all about your pictures.  Get some professional pictures taken where you look your absolute best.

I have some great pictures on my profile, but the actual written profile sucks... it’s just a couple sentences.  My reply rate was so good that I had to become extremely picky just to limit my conversations.

If you have a good body, it doesn’t hurt to show it off...

Oh yea... grow a beard.  Apparently, it doesn’t hurt.

[JayH]

If you have a good body, it doesn’t hurt to show it off...

A few days ago I was sitting with my girl and a few of her friends and they were looking at profiles& letters etc - the hysterical laughter at some of the photos guys sent and displayed said it all for me !

Going back a few years --one of the agency games played by the girls was to get guys to send  photos of themselves -(beefcake or worse) which were then printed/enlarged and posted on the idiots of the week board of how stupid are some of these guys !

Of course there will be a few girls it may interest-probable the same girls happy to show their genitals on web cam !

[brownbeard99]

A few days ago I was sitting with my girl and a few of her friends and they were looking at profiles& letters etc - the hysterical laughter at some of the photos guys sent and displayed said it all for me !

Going back a few years --one of the agency games played by the girls was to get guys to send  photos of themselves -(beefcake or worse) which were then printed/enlarged and posted on the idiots of the week board of how stupid are some of these guys !

Of course there will be a few girls it may interest-probable the same girls happy to show their genitals on web cam !

I can’t believe the haphazard way people approach online dating.  You should split A/B test everything.  You measure your response rate, adjust and keep going.  I have tested every picture I post... every profile... every intro letter...... multiple times.  Usually gratuitous gym pictures or shirtless pictures are a no-go, but if you know how to show off your body with class, it will pay off in spades.

Of course, in the midwestern US, any hint that you have a nice body will hurt your chances with most women. 80% are obese and they don’t want a man who will make them feel bad about themselves.

It sounds like the OP is struggling as it is... I would consider testing any new idea... it doesn’t sound like things can get much worse.

[Jamesukjames]

In my experience f dating is the way to go.  First forget everything you know about dating UK or USA women simply delete from your brain and 're boot.  On your profile state your objective marriage because she can get everything else locally.  If you just want sex it won't work for long.  Approach only women who speak English.  State on your profile that you are willing to fly to their country to meet them.  Show photos of you in action hiking etc.  Don't get professional photos you will look a total beta.  Develope an alpha mind set before you even start dating and defend it vigorously.  Never ask for or send naughty photos and never ask about sex coming from the UK I was worried about ending up in another sexless relationship from my experience that will never be an issue.  In the West your wife tries to make you a beta in the  f s u  your wife expects you to be an alpha and will reward you generously for being so.  So look at your profile 're write alpha style take some good action photos delete the ones with your beer budies.  Decide what future lifestyle you want and pursue it.  I've just returned from a Ukrainian hotel in eygypt 7 8 9 10 women married to 4 5 men is the norm .  With a 7 year age gap.  Just remember if she had a good husband she would still be married and she's very wary of getting involved with another loser and she will find it hard to get her head around that there are good single men in the West that another woman will let go.  My UK ex was just plain horrible my Ukranain cannot believe that anyone would treat and loose someone like me.  I went from hell straight to heaven.  Sadly this is my 5th f s u relationship the others were all via friends of friends.  My journey started because I worked with a Latvian guy who showed me the light.  F s u women put a lot less emphasis on men's looks and more on his ability to live a good life she's too busy making a nice home life while dressing like a supermodel and growing your shared bank balance. 

[GQBlues]

I have been using fdating and Elena’s models and have been getting a pretty low response rate. What kind of response rates do you guys typically get? In terms of looks I am a 4-5/10, just wondering if that has anything to do with it? I am 30 years old. Any advice?

So no one answered your question. You believe you’re 4 or 5 in an appearance 10 scale. That would be the only reason why I would say. I can only suggest doing something to improve that, if possible. JayH is barely a 5 and he can still find a decent shag for the 4th time.  It’s the MOB.

[Jamesukjames]

It's really simple avoid all pay per message sites and find a free one.  F dating is free. 

[msmob]

So no one answered your question.

So, reply #1 wasn't the same response as yours .... ?

You are getting a mite inattentive whilst taking pops at Mr cut and paste

[GQBlues]

So, reply #1 wasn't the same response as yours .... ?

Ahhh! An absurd assumption I even make a cause to pause for rather insignificant notes... 

[Trenchcoat]

In my experience f dating is the way to go.  First forget everything you know about dating UK or USA women simply delete from your brain and 're boot.  On your profile state your objective marriage because she can get everything else locally.  If you just want sex it won't work for long.  Approach only women who speak English.  State on your profile that you are willing to fly to their country to meet them.  Show photos of you in action hiking etc.  Don't get professional photos you will look a total beta.  Develope an alpha mind set before you even start dating and defend it vigorously.  Never ask for or send naughty photos and never ask about sex coming from the UK I was worried about ending up in another sexless relationship from my experience that will never be an issue.  In the West your wife tries to make you a beta in the  f s u  your wife expects you to be an alpha and will reward you generously for being so.  So look at your profile 're write alpha style take some good action photos delete the ones with your beer budies.  Decide what future lifestyle you want and pursue it.  I've just returned from a Ukrainian hotel in eygypt 7 8 9 10 women married to 4 5 men is the norm .  With a 7 year age gap.  Just remember if she had a good husband she would still be married and she's very wary of getting involved with another loser and she will find it hard to get her head around that there are good single men in the West that another woman will let go.  My UK ex was just plain horrible my Ukranain cannot believe that anyone would treat and loose someone like me.  I went from hell straight to heaven.  Sadly this is my 5th f s u relationship the others were all via friends of friends.  My journey started because I worked with a Latvian guy who showed me the light.  F s u women put a lot less emphasis on men's looks and more on his ability to live a good life she's too busy making a nice home life while dressing like a supermodel and growing your shared bank balance.

This is all true. My fear here is that OP isn't hitting the mark with western women, that is understandable BUT he needs to really make an effort to improve himself if that is the case, as noted before, gym, make-over, wealth/lifestyle, etc. If he is not hitting the mark with hardly any FSW online then its signifying to me he needs to work on improving himself first & foremost. End of the day if he goes out there and he doesn't come across in a good light to FSW odds are he will likely get used by one as a mule, scammed, etc. Even if he finds one with good intent once n the USA with her she will notice the 'competition' if there seems a big difference she will likely upgrade to another guy who does fir the bill.

Since OP has not replied back here I wonder also if he has low self-confidence. This will need to be worked on too. I think he can no doubt find a woman in the FSU for a date, most men can if he puts the work in on improving himself. He should look at any characteristics about himself that might be taken asa negative by even some women and work on them I think, physical or mentally.

[rwd123]

Copy-paste this profile for a high response rate. The description is gold!

http://www.ukrainedate.com/en/profile/showProfile/ID/2005437

What do you think ladies? Interested? Plent of potassium in that relatioship!

[Jamesukjames]

After my divorce I had a few relationships with UK women from match and pof  .  Then I met a Latvian guy married to a Minsk woman and I dated a few of their friends.  Then I went on f dating. The response rate and education standards was fantastic of the women I spoke to.  They were so much faster to swap telephone numbers than UK women and the conversations were of a much higher standard.  Personally I could never go back to dating UK women.  My Ukrainian partner and her son are so nice.  I holiday in Ukranian hotels Cyprus and Egypt and I feel so much happier than around UK people.  All inclusive hotels food and alcohol and the only people drunk are the eu nations.  My Ukranain girl friend has a very professional career yet is so nice to me I've never been treated so well.  I make sure to always stay alpha and never take it for granted or lounge about like her ex.  4 of my 5 fso girlfriends have been perfect and the other 1 was so drop dead gorgeous that she just had her head spun a little by all the male attention but otherwise she was nice she just struggled to stay faithful.  My reasons for splitting with the others was other factors.  The first one hassle from her sister and UK brother in law he was a control freak.  Second one just could not commit just too many orbiters.  Third one was just a little to boring.  Forth one the ex family her family all very involved with her son.  Fith one lazy husband who had not seen his kid for 4 years addicted to computer games  all is well except my g f mother has gone from like warm to ice cold to me over the last year

[mendeleyev]

To echo several others, be happy with a low response rate. It means that only the serious are replying. You only need one wife, so don't worry about this.


Don't rush--finding the right one takes time, effort, and can be expensive.


You need to visit, even if there is no girl waiting for you. Get into an online course and find a good tutor (they can be very inexpensive) and then travel.


When you put your travel dates in your profile, the responses will go up. Ladies can get a lot of mail and they are tired of guys who correspond endlessly but never get on a plane.


Make sure that you are the kind of man who will make a good husband. "She" has no desire to leave behind her country, her family, her culture, and her current life just to arrive in the West and discover that she has jumped from one black pot and into another.

[Trenchcoat]

Keyboard Romeo's are indeed a pain in the arse they hog women with their endless prattle so thereby getting in the way of those of us with serious intentions who DO actually visit.

OP reading up here and learning all about the scene will help you in learn how to bring up women more effectively whether you are contacting them or they are viewing your profile.

[Davo2]

 Ladies can get a lot of mail and they are tired of guys who correspond endlessly but never get on a plane.

Can't emphasize this enough, it's probably sunk my chance with a great girl. We are still meeting, but I'm going to have to get out the big guns to pull it off. I will say this, it's given me the chance to not have all my eggs in one basket and do it the right way with a few months correspondence before I leave, not 2 years like the first girl I'm meeting (if she shows up!!)

Probably my biggest mistake was not having my affairs in order at home. I stupidly thought my divorce would be wrapped up in a year and a half...... 3.5 years later and it's all done and dusted. It's hard to find the time to travel when you have to focus on court, children's issues, settlements and financial pressure from legal costs.

[msmob]

Ahhh! An absurd assumption

So English isn't your second language, either?