Does she want love?

[kynrazor]

While depression can have chemical causes, the type you describe is not caused by over thinking.  i believe it arises when your expectations and reality conflict.

I suppose many deep thinkers do start off as idealists but as their search for the truth continues, the reality they discover oftentimes fail to meet what they originally believed in. As you said, expectations don't meet reality. I won't be surprised if some would be able to reconcile with this discrepancy but for those who can't get over it (a fairly big number of people) and think the whole world is against them, I think depression is very much a big probability.

An intelligent person knows fire is hot. A wise person knows not to touch it. I view her has more wise for her age. Can't say much about her intelligence level yet. It doesn't seem like she talks about dancing and going to the club but is planning life and her future. Figuring out what she wants. She talked to enough men to know she doesn't want them.

I'm glad to find we share the same view. Indeed, I do think she's really beyond her age, be it intelligence or maturity. She's mature enough to acknowledge she may be wrong, but intelligent enough to debate and give valid arguments. When other girls her age may still be talking about the latest fashion or just repeating what's being taught, she's already started questioning the very political structure and manipulation around her and from history. I'm just not too clear at this point what she wants from me and in life. I will keep up the conversation and hopefully this will bring up more clues.

Looks like you've found a lovely young lady Kyn. I have an 18 year old daughter, she's very mature also. Sometimes I act more like a teenager than she does and she often pulls me into line.

Regarding her bad relationship issues, I don't see this as a problem. My Daughter has dated since the age of 15 and has probably had more dating experience  than some guys twice her age on here. She's seen it all... Cheaters, drugs, immaturity, liers etc.. She's had some great life  lessons on they type of man she should be looking for.

Thanks. I really appreciate your sharing these precious experiences. Cross fingers she may be the one.

There are people with too much time on their hands that might try to contact her and twist something that
you posted around just to screw stuff up for you. It's happened to me and others.

I doubt people will track her down so easily. As far as I'm concerned, she's not felt worried I'm sharing her photo with friends and this is the only such photo of her on the web.

I'm in a [sort of] part of Turkey ( Northern Cyprus ) and I've oft said you're bright ...

It's NOT bright - in my eyes - to suggest TR is more progressive than RU - given their leaders' feeling the need to ban / temporarily close certain social media sites ...

Yes indeed msmob, that's the part I was really skeptical about! At the very least, the lass did acknowledge that her experiences and preferences are subjective and so may lead to perceptive biases.

Kyn here sounds like he is doing research work that may lead him onto a well paying number, but he has yet to land that number. To women he has potential on the financial front but if he doesn't deliver soon he will quickly lose credibility to deliver on this.

I have always readily admitted to the fact that my current financial situation is not as ideal as one would wish for, if one were to start a family. That said, what motivated me to search now has always been the thought that perhaps I can start looking around now whilst working on my nest, so that when the time finally comes to settle down, I'll be in a hopefully more experienced, wiser position to do so. It's always been my hope to settle down early in life as soon as I have any half decent job.

The girl here idk, I get the impression she may be a bit up herself - thinks she some uber intellectual. Personally if a girl talked about intellectual stuff all the time like this it would do my head in, most people like to talk about more lighter going stuff a fair amount of the time. The problem if someone is too intellectual is that they may have difficulty talking about more lighter going stuff and hence problems getting on with people. I think the potential to come into conflict on some intellectual point with her is great and hence could end many a relationship.

Very much a big possibility these conflicts will happen from time to time. On the other extreme, I do not envision myself having a meaningful relationship with and living with a robot that obeys every single command I say.

Her ambition to move to the west may be understandable but its something Kyn needs to be cautious of and not back himself into any solid early agreement to have her move with him, if it is at all feasible anyway.

I have always left discussions about moving to the UK very late into the conversation as I put more priority into gauging compatibility between the girl and I firsthand before deciding to go further. Don't worry I'll be cautiously optimistic Just my nature.

She just seems young and with limited life experiences.
I don't mean that in a bad way.
I mean her rambling a bit and *how* she thinks
Just fits a lot of 18yo women of any nationality if they are a serious minded personality.

I dont find anything she said surprising or unusual for a bit more serious minded 18yo FSu woman.

A lot if her thoughts are likely to change about many  subjects as she gains life experience ,in the meantime you've struck her fancy, why not meet her?
Again nothing odd about her being direct that you are one of very few young men she's met that seemed smart.

I am trying to arrange a suitable time to meet with her in my upcoming trip in Easter. I was simply surprised at her directness. She's the one who suggested moving to the phone, then to video call lol. My first to meet a girl who dictates the speed like that.

I agree her experiences are limited and she may change as she grows up more with time. However, I like the fact that she's had the maturity to at least acknowledge that her preferences based on her experiences are subjective and so prone to bias.

Yes indeed, she's very serious. I'm just seriously not too sure at this point what she wants out of us. Perhaps more talking time will help. Then again, she's told me quote:"I just don't want to waste time if I don't like someone!". Unless she thinks I'm not serious enough, why say this to me? 

She's 18 this year? so is she 17 now?

If she wasn't disappointed in her past dating experiences then she would still be with that guy right now. She can't have extensive dating experience based on her age. She also probably has very limited experience with European men as well. She is probably basing her opinion on the letters she's received from 40+ year old men with limited social skills that live in their mothers basement and wrote her at the agency.

If she seems like the real deal then go visit her.

No she's already legally 18

I'm not too sure Bill. She has said she's even found the local guys (Russians) disappointing.

I do not think it would be strange at all to have an 18 year old have extensive dating experience in the FSU if I'm not mistaken? If anyone can give any pointers to this I'll be very interested hear.

Haven't read in detail and I could be a mile off track but my knee jerk reaction listening to about 10 seconds of the recording was the voice didn't match the photo age wise.

Are you thinking she has too deep of a voice? I felt the same way but thought the difference wasn't too much to be concerned. And I'm very sure she's 18 because she's on a normal track towards applying to study at University now.

It's not the voice but what she's talking about.  I certainly haven't heard an 18 year old talk like that, Russian or otherwise.

Sting, it's very strange isn't it? Whilst other typical 18 year olds in Russia may be obsessing over fashion or household gossip, she's already thinking, arguing and criticising so much more. If only you've heard how she crossed swords and debated with me on the aristocracy, political events etc throughout history. A very rare personality that's for sure

[kynrazor]

There are a thousand reasons her age could be problematic.
Young 18-23 year old girls are like bread baked in the oven
for 8 minutes. It looks great on the outside but the inside isn't
finished yet.

A girl that age is still forming and becoming a woman. Girls that
age change their minds as often as they change their underwear.
I dated them myself a hundred years ago and was so happy when
I was able to date the older ones.

If the girl goes to the University there is a 99% chance she will fall in love
with a boy from the university, the hormones and close proximity make that
a near certainty. That 18 year old girl while seemingly advanced for her age
still forming just like the bread in the oven.

What's my advice for the OP? I'm somewhat at a loss, because I don't know
how he makes it work with that girl unless he moves to Russia while she attends
the University. Her parents are going to want her to go to school because that's
what is best for her. I would probably advise that he work on his career.

It's true that she may change. I have to admit there's no certainty. However, wouldn't that be true regardless of which age group you're from, regardless of where your bride is from? The wife may still divorce the husband even after 40 years of marriage if they start growing apart? Was that a successful union? Who knows?

I'm willing to take my chances. Perhaps I can be part of her influence and with time, subtly help mould her into my woman I guess it really depends on your perspective as I think it can very well be a plus or a minus.

I'm very certain it's highly likely she will go to University. If she finds a better guy there, then good for her. If she finds a worse guy there, then her loss. I'm not too concerned with competition. It's a globalised world. If she finds me unworthy of her affection, I'll be happy to move on. Millions of FSU women and I only need one great woman in my life. I've never hinged all my hopes on a single woman.

[BillyB]

I am trying to arrange a suitable time to meet with her in my upcoming trip in Easter.

A suitable time(singlular)? How about suitable times(plural)? I can remember all what your trip was about but you better be prepare to see her a lot if the first date goes well.


If things go well and you like her, don't hide the fact you're not financially stable. Tell her you're a young man who will grow and eventually have a good job and ask her if she'd grow with you. Let her know you'll only focus on her and will try your best to get a good job and bring her over so you two will be together. If you get a "yes" you have a girlfriend. Then you go back to the UK, adjust your attitude to give the impression you'd be an outstanding employee, go job hunting and get that job. Of course if you're still working on a degree, finish that first.


Don't know about the UK but in America, a person making less than 125% of the poverty level can still bring a girl over if they have a co-sponsor that will guarantee support for the girl. That may be a faster way to bring her over. Your girl will want higher education and that has to be paid for. How will you do it? Of course this is the future but you need to understand how to get there through planning.

[kynrazor]

I hadn't listened to the downloads, but given the comments, I did.  I didn't note anything which indicates a superior intellect in those comments, just someone who knows what she wants (a life abroad).  I think sometimes, this is dangerous, because with it come unrealistic expectations.

I had the better half listen, thinking maybe I am missing something - his words "детский лепет".  He meant in terms of what she says she wants.

I am not certain I agree with Bill, in terms of a person still forming.  I believe personalities are fairly formed by childhood. 

I've heard before that personalities are constantly developing from young till usually the age of 30. After that, you're usually set on what-ever misconceptions or preconceptions that you have later on in life.

Nevertheless, I concur. I think it's probably true that by the age of 18, it's very likely we'll be able to estimate to a good approximation, her personality and outlook in life.

Perhaps your better half was comparing her ramifications, her thoughts to someone at 40 years of age?

I'm not trying to say she's very intelligent and mature compared to everyone else. Just observing that at least in her age group, at 18 years of age, she seems to have already possessed maturity and intelligence beyond her age.

How rare is it to find people who at her age has at least started questioning in a largely civilized logical manner, the social cues of the very society she lives in, pre-existing assumptions, political structure and manipulation and comparing it with historical analogues around her? I was discussing with her about the tendency for victors to keep re-writing history to suit their purposes. At 18, I think it's fair to say most don't indulge in such pastimes and don't even try.

When I was in my teens and early 20's, I didn't care about politics. Most young people don't. Kyn needs to ask her some serious questions to see what side she's leaning on. He don't have to talk politics, just topics that tend to define if a person is on the left or right. People may initially like each other but will later hate each other over politics, religion, abortion, and other hot topic subjects.

I think Kyn's biggest hurdle currently is that he's studying and don't have a job. The young lady will come to realize she's devoting time and effort to a man who may do well after the university or may not. She'd realize getting into a relationship with Kyn would be a gamble.

Very true and I intend to talk more with her and find out whether there are any potential dealbreakers soon with more talking about life.

Even a very mature person, male or female in their late teens/early twenties are still at heart deficient when it comes to attaining any of these qualities/abilities. A bit like an old card player, chess player, sportsman or any skilled activity - a person with natural skill can do a lot but a veteran of his field will have known, seen and experienced all the moves, they would have developed a lot over a long period of time. Same with relationships & life outlook, some young people are naturally skilled know what to do and say, what they want but at that age they have not had the time to develop and really get to know themselves.

That may be the case but at least she's already quite mature for her age. I'll take my chances and proceed with the conversation with a cautiously optimistic outlook. If there are any dealbreakers then so be it. Fingers crossed.

At least if anyone of us get into an argument due to a differing of opinions, I am inclined to believe it will be solved in a civilized manner 

Lets face it , a good percentage of women choose men very poorly and for all the wrong reasons . Men also choose women poorly as well.

The OP is young, but experienced enough to know most 18 yo's lack life experience and maturity,as he already stated concerns regarding her age.

The fact he is a 24 yo university student is certainly not some handicap when dating a 18yo university student.

I have no idea,where you guys come up with that ,as that's who most university students date , other  university students.

If you are looking at purely as mob, relocation oriented you might have a point. While she has dreams of living elsewhere, so do many  young 18yo persons.

He is at no disadvantage in the least with her,and in fact she clearly stated her interest in him . His dilemma  would be deciding if he wanted to pursue, nothing else.

Ah nothing is risk-free I suppose I was not too sure what she wanted from us, or even whether she was hinting at me to move the conversation on to something more serious, like committing to relationship, getting married, having children etc, this fast. Hence the title of my thread.

If Kyn doesn't have a solid game plan, he will fail with this girl. Doesn't matter how nice he is and if their a perfect match, if he can afford it or doesn't qualify to bring her over, he will fail.

No worries on that front. I'm working on that and hopefully I'll have enough by the time I marry. I don't have student loans at the moment. I'm not too concerned with my current trajectory, unless I decide to get married within 2 years time. That I'm certain I probably can't and won't do as it'll be financially straining enough to potentially end up a disaster.

That happens with mature women as well.  I've seen women change significantly, even after marriage and children, up to their late thirties/early forties.  I don;'t think age is really a factor in this.  That being said, I don't think early marriage is a great idea for a number of reasons.

Hence my earlier comment to 2tallbill about this.

"It's true that she may change. I have to admit there's no certainty. However, wouldn't that be true regardless of which age group you're from, regardless of where your bride is from? The wife may still divorce the husband even after 40 years of marriage if they start growing apart? Was that a successful union? Who knows?

I'm willing to take my chances. Perhaps I can be part of her influence and with time, subtly help mould her into my woman I guess it really depends on your perspective as I think it can very well be a plus or a minus."

Hmm, what would be the ideal age for marriage for men and women in your opinion then?

I married very young as well, and we have been together for over 35 years. But honestly, I wouldn't want my children to marry young.  I think had I not married a man who was absolutely an adult in all respects, with an exceptionally strong personality, I don't know if I would have remained married, or at least, not happily.

Are you saying that many early marriages end up being disasters? That women at that age are usually worse judges of character? And that's why you're lucky?

The girl speaking has some very childlike perspectives, suggesting to me that she has a lot of growing up to do before she's ready for marriage.

  Childlike compared to what? A 40 year old? I think it's fair to say she's already mature beyond her age and especially so when compared to her peers in her age group Russia. I stand to be corrected if I'm mistaken.

A suitable time(singlular)? How about suitable times(plural)? I can remember all what your trip was about but you better be prepare to see her a lot if the first date goes well.

If things go well and you like her, don't hide the fact you're not financially stable. Tell her you're a young man who will grow and eventually have a good job and ask her if she'd grow with you. Let her know you'll only focus on her and will try your best to get a good job and bring her over so you two will be together. If you get a "yes" you have a girlfriend. Then you go back to the UK, adjust your attitude to give the impression you'd be an outstanding employee, go job hunting and get that job. Of course if you're still working on a degree, finish that first.

Don't know about the UK but in America, a person making less than 125% of the poverty level can still bring a girl over if they have a co-sponsor that will guarantee support for the girl. That may be a faster way to bring her over. Your girl will want higher education and that has to be paid for. How will you do it? Of course this is the future but you need to understand how to get there through planning.

I've never been oblivious to the fact that dating an FSU lass and having a long-distance relationship and moving that forward into something more real has always been a long, perilous, substantial and relatively expensive undertaking.

With all the constructive dialogue I'm getting here, hopefully I'll navigate the waters successfully and finally settle down. Fingers crossed. In the meantime, I'll do what I can within my means as a broke underpaid post-graduate student 

Thanks. I'll remember that honesty is the best policy, in the long run.

[Boethius]

Perhaps your better half was comparing her ramifications, her thoughts to someone at 40 years of age?

I'm not trying to say she's very intelligent and mature compared to everyone else. Just observing that at least in her age group, at 18 years of age, she seems to have already possessed maturity and intelligence beyond her age.

How rare is it to find people who at her age has at least started questioning in a largely civilized logical manner, the social cues of the very society she lives in, pre-existing assumptions, political structure and manipulation and comparing it with historical analogues around her? I was discussing with her about the tendency for victors to keep re-writing history to suit their purposes. At 18, I think it's fair to say most don't indulge in such pastimes and don't even try.

No, he knew her age (17).  I asked him to listen as I was mystified at the comments of this "great intellect", as I didn't discern such in her comments, and I told him her age.

Keep in mind, we have raised three children, the youngest, probably months older than her, so we do have comparisons.  Plus, the better half is from that culture.

Hmm, what would be the ideal age for marriage for men and women in your opinion then?

Around 30.

[Trenchcoat]

How rare is it to find people who at her age has at least started questioning in a largely civilized logical manner, the social cues of the very society she lives in, pre-existing assumptions, political structure and manipulation and comparing it with historical analogues around her? I was discussing with her about the tendency for victors to keep re-writing history to suit their purposes. At 18, I think it's fair to say most don't indulge in such pastimes and don't even try.

No worries on that front. I'm working on that and hopefully I'll have enough by the time I marry. I don't have student loans at the moment. I'm not too concerned with my current trajectory, unless I decide to get married within 2 years time. That I'm certain I probably can't and won't do as it'll be financially straining enough to potentially end up a disaster.

I've never been oblivious to the fact that dating an FSU lass and having a long-distance relationship and moving that forward into something more real has always been a long, perilous, substantial and relatively expensive undertaking.

With all the constructive dialogue I'm getting here, hopefully I'll navigate the waters successfully and finally settle down. Fingers crossed. In the meantime, I'll do what I can within my means as a broke underpaid post-graduate student 

Thanks. I'll remember that honesty is the best policy, in the long run.

What I missed when first starting out a couple of years back was that it was not the cost of stumping up for a plane ticket, hotel, transport, cost to import her that was of financial importance but having my own home and decent income. This is essentially what FSW means by being able to provide for family which most FSW are looking for when seeking a WM. By being able to fly to her country etc she will assume that you are in such a position. With the girl you have one for she knows (I assume) this is not the current situation but you are currently in the running with her because she sees you as smart and have the potential to achieve the 'provider' status, hell you may even become a 'good/excellent provider' for all she knows. However, if this does not materialise then she will  drop you like hot coal. One thing I am coming to realise about FSW is that great emphasis is placed on the man as provider - this is rarely an envious position - she won't care how long or hard you work or even if you have two jobs so long as you are providing. So it means getting your house in order before getting serious with a FSW. At the moment a relationship with a uni girl is fine for you as those older non-uni girls won't take you seriously if you state your poor broke student status, lol. They will want to see you already have something there. The plus side of the girl you are messaging is that you are older than her and already postgraduate, she is just starting out in uni. This gives you a headstart on getting into a good financial position by the time she leaves uni. So at the moment you have a bit of time on your side. She will still want to see progress though, if all of your talk of making it big come to nothing then so will you be with her.

I would also say with all the intellectual talk with a UK girl this would doom your chances, you would be seen as a square. An FSU girl may not be inclined to see you this way. However I would say that two people exactly the same doesn't always work. Exchanging information with each other can make for a good aquaintance etc but can build zero in the way of romance. So I would say try and work in a bit of gentle flirting into your messages subtley over time.

[msmob]

Kyn

Kindly ignore Trenches 'theories  / advice'

He is perennially single - by his own admission - due to his own ineptness.

To become a home-owner for young people is very hard, now   

[Trenchcoat]

To become a home-owner for young people is very hard, now

It is thanks to the EU & their immigration policies

Mobe it is the case that Kyn too is long term single  so is many UK guys for reasons I've already outlined. UK girls want a guy that is centre of the party if a guy comes across at aLL as a square they will disassociate themselves from him. Even girls that are not all out party girls will play up to this. They are NOT interested in interlectuals. Most girls in UK uni's will expect to drift through and get the graduation stamp by putting through as little effort as possible. If any effort is made it will be in the inal year where it counts most. The guys that want to get with the girls follow this lead, being seen as obviously excelling and putting in study time as a guy will cast him out of any chances with most women. The sense of entitlement of the younger generation make them particularly this way. Kyn as a postgrad may not have experienced this as much but postgrad stuff is usually all work and little to no play anyway.

Kyn can show he can rent a decent place and have the means to do so in fairly wealthy areas such as where he is in Oxford. Or he can move to an area where homes are cheaper to buy & rent but still in reasonable areas. Places in Wales, up North or East England are possibilities just so long as he is a little careful of the area he is moving into. Having a dive in an unsavoury area and being in & out of worK or low paI'd work will do him no favours though.

[Sting23]

Everyone forgets this is an 18 year old and a 24 yr old.  Stop overanalyzing everything.  Kyn take her to GUM mall, see if she likes chocolate or strawberry ice cream and go from there.  Then see if she wants to go shopping or just hang out.  Have some fun and after a few dates you'll know if you want to continue or not.

Forget about providing for her, taking her back to the UK, if she's mature enough...she's still a teenager lest anyone forget.

[Jumper]

I didn't forget that,at all, it's why I said he should go meet her, and the only variable here is whether he wants to pursue.

She's been direct as can be that she is interested,  and interested romantically (at least to meet him in that light ,a date, not a friends zone deal)
I think kyn wasn't sure her direction, but my take is she's being as obvious as her personality type allows.

[BillyB]

Everyone forgets this is an 18 year old and a 24 yr old.  Stop overanalyzing everything.

If Kyn and/or the girl is not looking for a serious relationship, there is no need to analyze anything. I seen guys come to this forum saying they lost the girl because they were too slow, didn't have enough finances to bring her over, failed to communicate, insulted her because he didn't understand the culture, etc... They lost the girls to guy who were prepared and had their act together.


At work I sometimes tell a guy "Pull your F'ing weight around here." If Kyn wants to succeed in this adventure, he needs to pull the weight of two people.

[Sting23]

If Kyn and/or the girl is not looking for a serious relationship, there is no need to analyze anything. I seen guys come to this forum saying they lost the girl because they were too slow, didn't have enough finances to bring her over, failed to communicate, insulted her because he didn't understand the culture, etc... They lost the girls to guy who were prepared and had their act together.


At work I sometimes tell a guy "Pull your F'ing weight around here." If Kyn wants to succeed in this adventure, he needs to pull the weight of two people.

True, if he's serious and wants a relationship and to bring her over to the UK then he needs to figure out everything possible.  She at 18 won't have a clue.   

But most people their age aren't thinking anything close to that.

[Trenchcoat]

Everyone forgets this is an 18 year old and a 24 yr old.  Stop overanalyzing everything.  Kyn take her to GUM mall, see if she likes chocolate or strawberry ice cream and go from there.  Then see if she wants to go shopping or just hang out.  Have some fun and after a few dates you'll know if you want to continue or not.

Forget about providing for her, taking her back to the UK, if she's mature enough...she's still a teenager lest anyone forget.

For heavens sake man this is no time to be talking about ice creams!!! Kyn needs to devise a full blueprint & strategise his ambitions with this girl. He then needs to tell the girl how her life will be from here that she must drop all her studies and shack up with him

Seriously though the guy is Chinese (or near enough) so if he is as stereotypical as that then he could be thinking of the big moves necessary. He's 23-24 she is 18 and that's the thing he could fund himself out of step with her if she is not prepared to move as fast. He certainly seems to seriously view her highly though he has just messaged to date and that itself could be a problem that he is building up an image of her in his mind without actually being faced with the reality if her.

I suggest that you are not far off the truth that he should just go date her but as BillyB says if there is anything there then he has to quickly get into gear and make himself a permanent fixture in her life and move on it all.

[BillyB]

if he's serious and wants a relationship and to bring her over to the UK then he needs to figure out everything possible.  She at 18 won't have a clue.   

Surprisingly, a lot of FSU people know how various visas work in order to get into countries more than the people who live in those countries. I wouldn't be surprised if that 18 yo gal has done her homework and has some idea about marriage, study, and work visas various countries offer and understand which is easiest to obtain and which she's best qualified for. Not a bad thing if she did study on this stuff. Everybody who wants to relocate or get into a long distance relationship should understand how the process works.

[msmob]

True, if he's serious and wants a relationship and to bring her over to the UK then he needs to figure out everything possible.  She at 18 won't have a clue.   

But most people their age aren't thinking anything close to that.

Not just because it's you - but I disagree

My Mother was 17 when she first hooked up with my 19 yr old Dad

My 25 yr old daughter's been dating the same guy for 7 years - living with him for 6 years

The 18 year old has been dating the same guy since she was 16 - nearly three years

Girls mature earlier

My take is that modern life - the inability to buy a home  - means couples start having kids, later - as much as the want / need for tertiary level education

I see certain posters - with VERY set minds - as those being 'without a clue'

[Trenchcoat]

Surprisingly, a lot of FSU people know how various visas work in order to get into countries more than the people who live in those countries. I wouldn't be surprised if that 18 yo gal has done her homework and has some idea about marriage, study, and work visas various countries offer and understand which is easiest to obtain and which she's best qualified for. Not a bad thing if she did study on this stuff. Everybody who wants to relocate or get into a long distance relationship should understand how the process works.

This is true they do their homework the girl I last saw in her mid twenties did hers but she only understood how things worked on paper for visa's she didn't understand the hidden process behind the visa process. So for the UK the girl seeing it as a 'we go to A move through B and end up at C' by following what is asked of her as written down will not help her. Unless she comes from a wealthy family her student status will condemn her to being rejected. Her coming here as a student is money Kyn doesn't have, tourist visa will be a no go. So unless she has a great/grandparent of an EU citizen or get work/work experience in the Russian Embassy in London then odds are she is going to face issues. Even if she could get an EU passport it is likely to cost a bit.

So Kyn going to see her is likely the only way for now. At the moment it's still early days so he doesn't need to have a firm plan until he meets her & finds out if they are into each other. We need to know if he is willing to move beyond just messaging though as at the moment he is a keyboard romeo

[Sting23]

Not just because it's you - but I disagree

My Mother was 17 when she first hooked up with my 19 yr old Dad

My 25 yr old daughter's been dating the same guy for 7 years - living with him for 6 years

The 18 year old has been dating the same guy since she was 16 - nearly three years

Girls mature earlier

My take is that modern life - the inability to buy a home  - means couple start having kids, later - as much as the want / need for tertiary level education

I see certain posters - with VERY set minds - as those being 'without a clue'

maybe that's your circle of friends. how old are your parents now? It was a different era back then.  Sometimes it can happen. When I was in university a few guys and girls became a couple and eventually married and are still together.  But the majority at that age date many different people and would not end up marrying their first boy/girlfriend.

[msmob]

We need to know if he is willing to move beyond just messaging though as at the moment he is a keyboard romeo

A somewhat trollish 'statement' - given a 'keyboard romeo' never has intent to visit

[msmob]

maybe that's your circle of friends.

'Friends'?


Those examples were family - more inattentiveness on your part

how old are your parents now?

Ma JUST in her eighties - sadly Pa no longer walks the earth

I believe I already mentioned the sl. different attitudes that prevail, now - possibly due to economic barriers to home ownership

It was a different era back then.  Sometimes it can happen. When I was in university a few guys and girls became a couple and eventually married and are still together.  But the majority at that age date many different people and would not end up marrying their first boy/girlfriend.

In my time of tertiary education - we are having a forty year reunion this month  - approx 20  percent of students entered into relationships in their late teens  / early twenties and and married fellow students - most are still together.

I was VERY much the exception marrying in my early thirties.

[Boethius]

It is not very practical to marry before one finishes his or her education.  I think that also is a factor in later marriages today.

[BillyB]

It is not very practical to marry before one finishes his or her education.

In Kyn's girls case, she wants to live somewhere else but don't know where she'll end up. She probably knows getting a degree at home is useless elsewhere. So her plan is to marry a guy from another country first and hopes he will support her studying in his country.

[msmob]

In Kyn's girls case, she wants to live somewhere else but don't know where she'll end up. She probably knows getting a degree at home is useless elsewhere. So her plan is to marry a guy from another country first and hopes he will support her studying in his country.

Well now, BillyB - you certainly have trust issues

[Trenchcoat]

Well now, BillyB - you certainly have trust issues

I think some FSW do have an agenda for going on FSU dating sites that may be combined with finding their love or not. It stands to reason that any foreign dating that goes on in whichever country and whatever gender will have an element of this. Whether she is one of those who knows, she has put herself on a dating site seeking foreign guys at a young age, she is studying International Relations is it? so perhaps she might see this as valid if abroad working in a Russian embassy or elsewhere. Perhaps she might be looking for a guy that might further her ambitions or maybe he is just interested in love and see it as more exciting or rewarding with a foreign guy. She might have joined on the site for pure fantasy who knows.

I do think though that with younger women you have to watch their ambition, they will generally let it be known what it is so it might be worth Kyn asking her what she dreams off? The problem is that while they will often tell you of their ambition it is not always easy to tell what priority it is for them. Are they just looking for a guy to use to gt to where they want to go along the way for example. Its why I want to focus more on women in their early to mid thirties as if the are still single and childless then I tend to get the impression they are more serious about having children and less likely to be hanging that out as a carrot.

[BillyB]

Moby is a 60 yo guy who's still idealistic thinking love is all you need. It's best Kyn deals with reality and he shouldn't be afraid of it. Girls want to get higher education. That cost money. Many guys are scared of that and prefer their girl dumb. I consider it an investment. GQBlues wife studied and is making well over 100K a year. My wife will probably make around 80K when she graduates and if she continues to study to be a nurse practitioner or doctor, she will easily past 100K a year.

[msmob]

Moby is a 60 yo guy

So, arithmetic is ALSO not your bag !  A few birthdays to go, yet

still idealistic thinking love is all you need.

This is BillyB - at his 'best' - putting words in others mouths / twisting what was intended as a 'message' ...

I meant that materialism is not the b'all and end all for FSU women - many seek a wise, kind, intelligent partner.

It's best Kyn deals with reality and he shouldn't be afraid of it. Girls want to get higher education. That cost money. Many guys are scared of that and prefer their girl dumb. I consider it an investment. GQBlues wife studied and is making well over 100K a year. My wife will probably make around 80K when she graduates and if she continues to study to be a nurse practitioner or doctor, she will easily past 100K a year.

In this case she is already in tertiary education and may want to improve her English.  She may want to have a family young and think about a career, after. Who knows?

I get the impression our Kyn is smart enough to work these things out