First date with language barrier

[Jmoore10]

Hello everyone,

I'm specifically wondering how one can have a great first date with the language barrier.

I know a minor amount of Ukrainian as I have been studying and learning but, as any language, it'll take a long time to really hold a fluent conversation.

Anyone have any suggestions from experience?

thanks

[DaveNY]

The only real effective advice I've heard of is to use a translation app. I've seen several although none for Ukrainian.

[ML]

My suggestion, from experience is . . . don't ever go on such dates !!!

[Jmoore10]

The only real effective advice I've heard of is to use a translation app. I've seen several although none for Ukrainian.

Thanks DaveNY,

I appreciate the actual advice haha. I figured as much to use a translator app, when i meet her in early spring it will be through the agency sop a translator will be there.

But if the dates continue i would like to not have a 3rd wheel, though necessary it seems. Do you think it would be awkward if 2 people went on a date understanding they dont really understand what either one is saying?

thanks

[msmob]

The only real effective advice I've heard of is to use a translation app. I've seen several although none for Ukrainian.

Huh ?

You've never heard of Google Translate ?...to mention but one ..

You can even download the language to have it when no internet is available on your smartphone..


As  ML suggests - dating someone with such a language barrier is testing your abilities to know each other

Some manage and never looked back

[DaveNY]

Huh ?

You've never heard of Google Translate ?...to mention but one ..

You can even download the language to have it when no internet is available on your smartphone..


As  ML suggests - dating someone with such a language barrier is testing your abilities to know each other

Some manage and never looked back

msmob I've been told that some translation apps are better than Google Translate. Don't know which and I'm not going to test them. If you care to evaluate various translation apps vs Google Translate and post the results I'm sure that'd be appreciated by all concerned.

[msmob]

msmob I've been told that some translation apps are better than Google Translate. Don't know which and I'm not going to test them. If you care to evaluate various translation apps vs Google Translate and post the results I'm sure that'd be appreciated by all concerned.

Thanks ...most gracious of you, DaveNY, but your howler was noted and your 'response' was akin to - "I'll not admit my howler and raise some new bollox.."

*I* don't trust any translator - even a human one - as they can all mistranslate / miss a nuance. Try watching an Eng lang movie in Russian with English translation and you may get what I mean..

[SteveInBoston]

Thanks DaveNY,

I appreciate the actual advice haha. I figured as much to use a translator app, when i meet her in early spring it will be through the agency sop a translator will be there.

But if the dates continue i would like to not have a 3rd wheel, though necessary it seems. Do you think it would be awkward if 2 people went on a date understanding they dont really understand what either one is saying?

thanks

Wait, there might be a red flag here.

Jmoore, the girl you have a “relationship” with...did you meet her via an agency, like AFA?  From your introduction post I assumed your girl knew English.  How do you communicate now?

[JayH]

Thanks DaveNY,

I appreciate the actual advice haha. I figured as much to use a translator app, when i meet her in early spring it will be through the agency sop a translator will be there.

But if the dates continue i would like to not have a 3rd wheel, though necessary it seems. Do you think it would be awkward if 2 people went on a date understanding they dont really understand what either one is saying?

thanks

OK- he we go !  Often I slap at some of the yesteryear people on the forum -- some comments above illustrate exactly why !What type of phone do you have ?
The translation via Google is available online and offline ( it will not be a problem to get wifi)  -- and it has improved so much that the old stagers here would be amazed !
You can use one phone ( or computer) or one each-- which is easiest and fastest [
I like Viber too -translation is quick and easy-- we use sometimes when we do not want others to hear English being spoken . As an example -girl; may not want everyone to know you aint from around there ( there can be a lot of reasons why)
It can actually be fun !
I have used the same principle in past years when meeting for the first time -- so it works.
Often-you will find a girls English is much better than she says   -- and that is no way is to say that nuances and subtleties of English are understood-- but basic words --ie the gist of a sentence .

Further -- having a 3rd party to translate -can be useful to help break the ice and keep the pressure off you both. It is important to get the terp onside -as their opinion of you could be important . If a friend or extended friend -- that is good with me. What is not good -- is some agency supplied terp.

I use my phone translation often -- and the comparison with say 4 years ago --is remarkable. It is so much better now, Not to say that it does not make mistakes -it does- and you need to be aware of that .

[JayH]

Wait, there might be a red flag here.

Jmoore, the girl you have a “relationship” with...did you meet her via an agency, like AFA?  From your introduction post I assumed your girl knew English.  How do you communicate now?

The OP chose to ignore my questions and comments in previous thread -- now you are on it !!

Guys may not like the questions --but they really need to get real before even considering any of this.

Without going back over old ground -I have friends in the "business" - agency owners.managers.employees,interpreters etc - some I introduced to other members here --  I am not alone in having insight--others have written very good information on the forum.
Often-- we can all see  the newby not want to hear anything but from the cheer squad -- and all anyone else can see are red flags !

[Jamesukjames]

OK so dating's supposed to be fun.  So as soon as possible get over to your g f country.  Forget a human translator or any apps just buy a small note pad and draw both of you can do this and its fun interact with the woman not your phone.  You don't want a third wheel even on date 1.  Many ukranian restaurants have an English menu in fact they spot me as English before I open my mouth.  Ukranian and Russian are very hard languages to learn.  I'm about to spend my 5th and 6 th week with my ukranian g f we've been dating 90 days.  Spend your money on cheap flights rather than web sites.  This is my 5th FSU relationship and I can tell you that the on line relationship was different from the face to face relationship every time.  In fact the worse on line the better in reality. 

[Jamesukjames]

Also through friends of friends I know loads of very pretty Belarusian girls most got married early 20s had a baby.  When they got to 30 husband traded them in for a 20 year old.  Only one of these women got on a dating site and it completely corrupted her.  I would advise getting out to the FSU rather than being lazy and using a computer.  Having said that my latest and maybe forever g f / wife captured me on fdating my first online introduction

[Jamesukjames]

Not to high jack your thread.  First time I met present gf in airport in Cyprus I couldn't find my date so used whats app to connect.  I could see this person who looked like a supermodel playing with her phone.  Whats app video had no way prepared me for this meeting.  Luckily for me she's such a sweet natured person we've been having a ball since.  She organises the bus to take me from Kiev to her home town  and when there I'm looked after so well I have to remember to man up and find some chores to do.

[Jamesukjames]

When I say bus, I mean unmarked van collection from smoking shelter on 3rd/top floor of airport, just at the start of the official passenger drop off point for the airport.  Not the official bus station on the ground-floor.  I love the way the Ukranians  live such a relief from the corporate world.

[rwd123]

My suggestion, from experience is . . . don't ever go on such dates !!!

/end thread

Man it can be a painful experience, in more ways than one. So best to avoid.

Meeting a woman through an agency and using their translator is not a good idea -though I've never used an agency for either.

The girl, "We can milk this guy for thousands."
You, "What did she say?"
The translator, "She said you have a great eyes."

[rwd123]

Also - unless you are targeting western Ukraine you are better off learning Russian.

[Jamesukjames]

Jmoore you are supposed to be a man a leader.  You are about to let a translator take centre stage on your first date.  Man up and figure an alternative . 

[Boethius]

Also - unless you are targeting western Ukraine you are better off learning Russian.

Every Ukrainian under 35 can speak Ukrainian fluently. Furthermore there are regions in Central Ukraine that are as nationalistic as Western Ukraine.

This post was composed without the aid of google.

[msmob]

Not to high jack your thread.  First time I met present gf in airport in Cyprus

So, you met for the fist time in Cyprus   and you didn't recognise her at the airport ? 

Scary

[Jamesukjames]

True I've never met someone before who looks so different on video and photos.  Also profile stated 5.8 i had not mentally factored in 4 inch heals and very short dress.  I was thinking jeans and sweatshirt having arrived from UK

[Jamesukjames]

Plus she's 38 and people ask her if she's a student even women she meets through work so it's not a man thing.

[Jamesukjames]

Oh and that I had said I would be at the cafe at arrivals and to meet there and she was standing at car rental desk ))))

[Jamesukjames]

I found out later she was embarased to have to resort to internet dating but did it because so many friends kept asking her why she was single.  She had asked about male friends of friends husbands and could not find any recommendations.  All her photos were taken by her 5 year old son as small town gossip goes a long way.  So basically her f dating profile was terrible and I just got lucky.  We have similar degrees so technical conversations often run another than small talk. 

[msmob]

So now, I'm guessing Larnaca - given it has a choice on exiting Baggage collection and customs  - TOTALLY stupid and a recipe to miss someone as the human 'default' to to walk straight on to the Tour Operator and Rental Car  exit - rather than turn right to the personal meet and greet

[Jamesukjames]

Thanks msmob you are right explains a lot.  My first time in Cyprus.  Coral bay was great.

[msmob]

Coral bay was great.

Too many Brits

[Jamesukjames]

Not at all I would say 90 per cent Ukranian on the beach.  10 per cent British and others.  I was there Ukranian school half term.  Snorkling  was great.

[Jamesukjames]

In fact we may go to Cyprus to marry in orthodox church as I really don't understand but Ukranain and Russian churches have fallen out with each other in Ukraine

[msmob]

In fact we may go to Cyprus to marry in orthodox church as I really don't understand but Ukranain and Russian churches have fallen out with each other in Ukraine

I got married in CY - not in a Church - as it was my 2nd marriage ..

Easy for Brits..Ukrainians need a letter from their embassy proving no impediment to marriage

[Jamesukjames]

How long ago.  Tell me more please.  2nd marriage for both of us.  Both thought we never wanted to do marriage again .  G f and I have a long journey ahead as the plan is to relocate to g b and then I will support her as she 're qualifies.

[Jamesukjames]

Msmob were you a Cyprus resident at the time

[Jamesukjames]

Msmob I guess from the flag you are now in southern Ireland ?

[Jamesukjames]

I'm totally not up to speed on second marriages as it was about the last thing I was thinking of but when suddenly the best of the best wanders into your life maybe I should take the gamble.

[msmob]

Just a thought we are going WAY off topic , I have a thread about FSU W and Cyprus

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=22570.msg478682#msg478682

May I respond there ?

[GenMish]

Hello everyone,

I'm specifically wondering how one can have a great first date with the language barrier.

I know a minor amount of Ukrainian as I have been studying and learning but, as any language, it'll take a long time to really hold a fluent conversation.

Anyone have any suggestions from experience?

thanks

Timeout, aren't you 'new guy' and qualified his relationship as already dating via videochats?

Translation apps can be helpful, but can be frustrating too. If this is really important to you, hire a translator for your first few dates

another suggestion, you can 3 way a skype call with a translator also

Commercial break
I know a young man in Moscow that is incredibly gifted in languages. His English is better than mine, let alone other languages. If I were the CEO of a multi national dealing with the FSU, I would hire this guy for staff in an instant. He is that good. He just doesn't just translate, he tells you what they really mean also. Anyone that has done business or even social translations knows what a Russian says and what they mean are sometimes two different things

His official rate is $40/hr, $65 for simultaneous translation. he will negotiate rates, but he is more than worth his official rate. If anybody wants his Viber, message me

commercial over

[Jamesukjames]

Sorry you can't beat a paper pad and pen.  You would be amazed what those stick men get up to .  And if it all starts going a little off key she should have waited until you finished drawing.  I've had 2 relationships that worked that way lots of smiling pointing and stick men.  It's so much faster than Google translate  you can have all kinds of private conversations in public and it's like a fun Xmas game.  I communicate with my g f son with my basic 30 words hand signals and stick drawings.  They may be humoring me but they seem to love it.  I guess it depends if you want a formal life style or a laugh but I like my women fun.

[ML]

Plus she's 38 and people ask her if she's a student, even women she meets through work, so it's not a man thing.

My spouse is considerably older than 38 . . . and a student . . .  a very good one !!!

[Jamesukjames]

Sure but when you're in an airport looking for a 38 year old your not looking for someone who looks early 20s

[LAman]

Not to high jack your thread.  First time I met present gf in airport in Cyprus I couldn't find my date so used whats app to connect.  I could see this person who looked like a supermodel playing with her phone.  Whats app video had no way prepared me for this meeting.  Luckily for me she's such a sweet natured person we've been having a ball since.  She organises the bus to take me from Kiev to her home town  and when there I'm looked after so well I have to remember to man up and find some chores to do.

You did!! over a dozen posts need be removed for cluttering thread!!

Including this one!!



 

[LAman]

Jmoore, in your intro thread you spoke of how you send texts everyday and video chatted a couple times a week. May ask how you communicated on video? Looked at video and waved???

Are you sending texts on apps like viber, WhatsApp or skype?


I can understand frustrations trying to communicate solely using translation apps. I know sometimes hard to get a point across and even at end you give up.

[BillyB]

Jmoore, in your intro thread you spoke of how you send texts everyday and video chatted a couple times a week.

Hopefully it's not through the agency UADreams he's used. Sounds like he's going to use an agency interpreter during his visit. He may have even bought their tour package. Hard to know if a woman likes a guy when using an agency that may pay the girls commission to lure men to using the company's services.

[2tallbill]

I'm specifically wondering how one can have a great first date with the language barrier.

You will need a translator if she speaks zero English. She probably studied it in school
and knows more than she realizes. My first trip was to meet a girl who spoke zero English.
I hired my own translator, rented my own apartment and made all my own arrangements.

After my first trip I decided that I would only meet girls who knew some English and preferably
more. A girl in love will study like cRaZy, and she will find a way to communicate with you.

There are two schools of thought on searching for girls who have some ability with English.
School of thought number one is to ONLY date English speakers, that way you can communicate
all the complicated matters that need to be communicated during meeting and due diligence phase.

The second school of thought is that you widen the net further by contacting any and all speakers
and that you can find a sincere woman who might have been ignored by others because of her
language skills (or lack thereof).

If you go with school of thought number two then you will need to help her get her English up to
par while you are dating her. That includes hiring a tutor, paying for books etc. If things don't work
out that money is gone down the drain.

Back in the old forum days this was a huge point of argument between the two camps.
If you did some searching I am sure you could find long detailed arguments about all the
various points and counterpoints.

Always arrange for your own translator and never use the agency translator.
It's not in the agencies best interest that either you or the girl get married
and live happily ever after.

I agree with learning Russian rather than Ukrainian. There are probably
250+ million fluent Russian speakers vs 40+ million who speak fluent
Ukrainian.

Udachi!

Bill

[DaveNY]

One important reminder about RW speaking English and it probably applies to UW, is that outside of major cities in the smaller cities and towns the number of women who have conversational or better English language skills is going to drop drastically. Most of the smaller cities and towns lack teachers who have native fluency in English and the Russian trained English language teachers are of lower quality. Just a fact of life.

[Boethius]

I agree with learning Russian rather than Ukrainian. There are probably 250+ million fluent Russian speakers vs 40+ million who speak fluent Ukrainian.

He is going to meet a particular woman who happens to be Ukrainian. He’s not looking to meet many women.

Further, if a person wishes to learn other Slavic languages (Russian, Polish, Czech, Slovak), it's easier to learn all these languages with a "base" of Ukrainian.

This post was composed without the aid of google.

[ML]

Further, if a person wishes to learn other Slavic languages (Russian, Polish, Czech, Slovak), it's easier to learn all these languages with a "base" of Ukrainian.

Good point, which my spouse has also stated.

[BillyB]

Don't know if Jmoore will be back but he should read the reviews below of the agency, UADreams, he's used. It's fantasy land there with girls pushing interpreter services.

http://www.trustpilot.com/review/uadreams.com