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Author Topic: VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY  (Read 36272 times)

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Offline japtats

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Re: VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #100 on: November 02, 2020, 12:05:04 AM »
All my advice to others is assuming that they don't live there.
If you live there with boots on the ground then my advice would
be to meet ladies, date and see what develops.

Prior to spending extended period of time in FSU, i was taking short trips, and did the visit one approach. But depends on the connection

If you are looking for a 25 year old then you
will face a ton of local competition especially for the high quality girls.

Very true, but locals are a lot of talk. I remember when my gf at the time, brought her female friend. She was around 18 (my gf was also 18). The girl met a new guy, her first boyfriend, i asked some questions, one being, what was his perspective that a woman works. Her response was, that her boyfriend thought a man should provide, and a woman does not work, i asked about his work, he helped his mum, was not studying. The women i dated, would tell me a lot of men TALK, but when it comes to actions, they don't provide, not because they can't, but not willing to work hard, too focused on money, when money is not that much, they don't pursue it further. Something my tattoo artist also said yesterday to me. I think as a woman matures a bit more, she starts to understand, talking and doing is two different things.

FSU is the land of talking, where women claim to be soul deep, full of love etc, and men talk about being the alpha male, loving their woman till the day they die. In western culture women talk less about love, and men don't talk about providing (split the bill etc).

If a man comes here, i suggest he proves that he is more than talk, a woman will appreciate that. They are tired of men talking about providing, small gestures mean a lot. For example, if you met her, she tells you she just came out of work, waiting for the bus to home, order her a taxi home, stuff like that. Small gifts, you don't need to buy an Iphone X, but make her life easier. If she is ill, offer to go the the pharmacy with her, and get her medicine, and leave shortly after (Show her there was no ulterior motive, you just want her to be healthy and happy).
« Last Edit: November 02, 2020, 12:11:28 AM by japtats »

Offline cameraguymn

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Re: VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #101 on: November 02, 2020, 01:43:42 AM »
I realize now that the best course of action is to visit a few in different cities if things work out that way. Granted it will probably be 2-3 in Kiev or Moscow but if the stars align and you do Lviv, Kiev and Odessa - that would be ideal.

Once upon a time I went to see one lady in Kiev and three days later went out of town then back to Kiev. I was walking with another lady in an area far away from where the first lady and I hung out at. Of course we run into the first lady. She didn't make a scene but worse - she just gave me a sad somber look that killed me. i wish she would have screamed and yelled. I suppose there is no way around it. I tell myself they are probably hosting other people too...

Offline Patagonie

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Re: VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #102 on: November 02, 2020, 03:29:59 AM »
If you look at it purely from a supply and demand perspective, you
will find a large quantity of women who are over 35, thin, educated,
who are reasonable and who desire a marriage and family compared
to the local men who are looking for marriage and a family with a
woman who is over 35 - 40 and older.

If you are seeking a woman under 30 then there are plenty of local
men that are seeking those women as well. So as for the supply and
demand aspect of seeking a quality woman for marriage, there is an
abundance of women over that age who desire marriage and a family
and a lack of high quality local men that are seeking the same.

That is the sweet spot. If you are a divorced Western man seeking to
find a woman over 35-40 something then you will find many excellent
very high quality women. If you are looking for a 25 year old then you
will face a ton of local competition especially for the high quality girls.

If you are young and exceptional yourself and can live in the FSU then
you have a good opportunity. If you are older and not living in the FSU
then you should pursue the excellent ladies over 35.

That's my two kopecks

Bill

Excellent post.
And avoid girls under 28 for a marriage and life in the western countries.
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

Offline svietik.coral

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Re: VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #103 on: November 02, 2020, 05:28:46 AM »

Welcome back! We know what your husband, Moby, will say. He is strictly a visit one woman at a time kind of guy.

Becoz he wize man

Online 2tallbill

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Re: VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #104 on: November 09, 2020, 01:13:49 PM »

Excellent post.
And avoid girls under 28 for a marriage and life in the western countries.

I agree, unless you are a youngster yourself. I posted elsewhere that
women's brains are still actually developing until age 25. Giving a girl
a few years after her brain develops to make a life long decision is
the reasonable way to go. 

There is a age thread somewhere, I will find it and ask for your thoughts
there as well.

Age Difference thread with discussions dating back to 2005
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=32.625
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline ML

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Re: VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #105 on: November 12, 2020, 09:01:12 PM »
Following the VM approach I was able to enjoy what I had missed as a young man, because I married too young.

Did this harm the women ?  I really don't think so.  I never talked about marriage with any of them so, even if there were hope, it could not have been very strongly grounded.

I seriously doubt if even 0.5% of the women were sorry that they had spent time with me.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Online 2tallbill

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VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #106 on: November 19, 2020, 01:24:01 PM »
We have many men who've been successful visiting ONE and likewise
we've had many men from this forum who've been successful visiting
many.

My advice is to do what fits your goals, situation and personality
but don't mix tactics from visiting one with a visit many trip.

If you are going to meet many don't write them 40 letters, have
several phone and Skype calls etc. What you are doing is a visit
one tactic of totally getting to know her before you meet and she
WILL expect you to visit only her since you spent so much time.

However, if you say "Hey Suzy do you wanna get a cup of coffee?"

Suzy has zero expectations from you. She is meeting you in a
coffee shop to see if you are interesting or not. If you hit if off
then you try to meet again. If you don't then no harm, no foul.

You would NEVER do it the other way. Write one letter to Martha
and then jump on a plane to visit ONLY her. So don't mix tactics
from different strategies.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline msmob

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Re: VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #107 on: November 22, 2020, 04:19:58 AM »
In this day and age, with v.chat available to most...

Why are some older members advising to spend a lot of money on a 'pig in a poke'.


A least v.chat and filter ladies out you know will not be your cup of tea.


Online 2tallbill

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VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #108 on: November 24, 2020, 12:42:09 PM »

I disagree, to a degree.


No one can really give advice on relationships, because what individuals want in a relationship varies. From reading this forum, I get the impression that what most men here seek is a woman to whom they are physically attracted, and anything beyond that is just gravy.  The fact marriages to FSUW occur quickly, without a common language, or culture, reinforces my perception.  However, beauty fades with time, both in terms of getting used to what your wife's looks, and the ravages of time.  Most of you are shallow. :P


I do agree that "WOVO vs WMVM" is down to personal preference and a man's personality.  A man who doesn't date widely at home, and is not charismatic, probably isn't going to succeed with a "WMVM" approach.  Nor will a man who doesn't enjoy dating a variety of women at home.  I think this is what moby misses.


This post was composed without the aid of google.

I think that he intentionally ignores the fact that many many men here at
this very forum were successful VM. He also totally mischaracterizes how
it works and what happens. He claims to have tried VM and if he did it the
way he mischaractrizes it then of course he failed.

[edit I removed part of my opinion about Moby]
« Last Edit: November 24, 2020, 04:58:57 PM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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Re: VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #109 on: November 24, 2020, 12:45:29 PM »
'pig in a poke'.

Pig in a poke: English colloquialisms such as turn out to be a pig in a poke
or buy a pig in a poke mean that something is sold or bought without the
buyer knowing its true nature or value, especially when buying without
inspecting the item beforehand.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pig_in_a_poke
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #110 on: November 24, 2020, 12:50:44 PM »
In this day and age, with v.chat available to most...

Why are some older members advising to spend a lot of money on a 'pig in a poke'.

A least v.chat and filter ladies out you know will not be your cup of tea.

No, if you are going to visit many then you don't video chat with them before
your trip. They will expect you to visit only them. That is a visit ONE tactic not
a visit many tactic.

You meet them in person for real over a cup of tea or coffee and decide if you
feel a mutual connection or chemistry. This fits some peoples personality.
People thankfully are not all the same.
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline Boethius

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Re: VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #111 on: November 24, 2020, 12:53:19 PM »
I think that he intentionally ignores the fact that many many men here at this very forum were successful VM. He also totally mischaracterizes how it works and what happens. He claims to have tried VM and if he did it the way he mischaractrizes it then of course he failed.

Moby has enormous difficulty with things that disagree with his views,  opinions and perceptions. This subject is no exception.


I disagree that moby has "enormous difficulty with things that disagree with his views".  I disagree with many of his views.  I don't view the fact he disagrees with me as an enormous difficulty on his (or my) part  We have different life experiences, so of course we will have different perspectives.  I just stop responding at some point on the same subject, rather than beat a dead horse.

I think moby is someone who has set views, which is not unusual given his age and life experience (just from living six decades), and perhaps is inflexible (I don't know, as I don't know him).  He also can be responding to contrary approaches to elicit responses. 

As for failure, it more likely is due to personality, and how one "dates" women generally. 

Now, back to discussing issues rather than personalities.

This post was composed without the aid of google.
« Last Edit: November 24, 2020, 05:32:46 PM by AnonMod »
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Online 2tallbill

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VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #112 on: November 24, 2020, 01:00:10 PM »
NOTE: This is my opinion, although I state it like it's a fact, this is my opinion.
I spent 9 years looking for my wife. I readily admit that I made a zillion
mistakes and I began refining my techniques and tactics. So it wouldn't
be unwise to consider my opinions with that in mind.

The wrong way to pursue a visit many strategy is what I call using the wrong
tactics. If you read the trip reports of a great number of men who visit many
they spent years and years at doing it with the wrong tactics in my opinion.

They tried to develop something with a number of girls before embarking on
their trips. Then they visited with plans to meet and date all of them
simultaneously. Then sure enough the girls didn't value their time and played
games.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline BC

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Re: VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #113 on: November 24, 2020, 02:29:17 PM »
I spent zero time looking for a wife.

Although I've seen my teens make connections via Facebook or whatever, it always 'starts' with a first date that either goes somewhere or not.  Ain't that different here IMO.

I always got in trouble when I dated concurrently, and never woke up one morning saying to myself 'I'm going to go find a wife'.

Never met a woman that expressed an instant desire to get married either.  That would have scared the crap out of me, ŕ la 'run Forrest run!'

That's just me though, which is all that really counts.  For the rest of ya, whatever floats your boat.  Just know that there are other options out there.

Offline ML

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Re: VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #114 on: November 24, 2020, 04:37:04 PM »
I went on several WMVM trips to FSU.
I never made any mistakes, like Big Bill's zillion.
I never got into trouble when I dated concurrently, like BC did.

Speaking of zillion . . .
One blonde to another: I have had sex with a Brazilian.
Second blonde:  Wow, how many is that?
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Online 2tallbill

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VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #115 on: November 24, 2020, 05:45:44 PM »
I spent zero time looking for a wife.

Good for you!

I found my first wife at a garage sale, I certainly wasn't looking for one.
I was really unhappy with my first wife for years and years. After my
divorce, I spent a time sowing wild oats dating women who were too
young and/or had serious problems (I dated a stripper), but one thing
that I was determined that my next wife was going to be the real deal. 

I didn't plan out finding the first wife, but I've done endless planning
to find the second one and I'm glad I did. 

I've been a salesman for 31 years, I make goals then plans to achieve
them. It's just part of who I am, or what I've become.

« Last Edit: November 24, 2020, 05:49:44 PM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline ML

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Re: VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #116 on: November 24, 2020, 05:59:15 PM »
(I dated a stripper)

Did she have her own pole ?
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Online 2tallbill

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Re: VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #117 on: November 24, 2020, 06:00:54 PM »
Did she have her own pole ?

No, she used the one at her work, when with me I lent her mine.
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #118 on: December 28, 2020, 02:07:05 PM »
This is from Albert a member that hasn't posted in years.
I borrowed this from another thread. I don't like communicating
as much as he does before on a visit many trip.


You are, and will, get a lot of different advice based on the personalities
of the posters.  Some are logical about this endeavor and some are
emotional and completely irrational when it comes to women. Some can
correspond and meet with several women on each trip and some can
only focus on one gal at a time. 

Some are very organized and can communicate very efficiently via e-mail
and phone with multiple women at a time and not be fazed by it. 

Others are very poor writers and talkers, and have to limit their
correspondence to a few messages before running out of things to say. 
Some have dated very little in their home country, have very low sex
drives and go ga ga when they get the gal to hold their hand or kiss
them on the cheek and are instantly in love.

Some put these gals on a pedestal and swear that even the ones with
children are virgins.  Others see them as just women.

What is the appropriate method for you depends on which group of
guys best describes your own personality, abilities and experience.

My advice:

1) Diversify.  This is the sane procedure for financial planning, and the
sane method for meeting women in far off places.  Putting all your eggs
in one basket is recipe for financial failure and for horror stories in trip
reports.

2) Learn how to write and how to manage volume correspondence in
an efficient manner.  Prewrite 10 sequential letters to send to the gals. 
Of course do this on your word processor.  Then when you answer each
gals' sequential messages, just emend your prewritten message to
customize it for each gal.

3) Limit your correspondence time.  Get your trip dates planned. 
Choose your gals from whatever source . . . .  agencies, websites, your
own advertisements, etc.  Then about 6-8 weeks before the trip make
your contacts with the gals.  Use your 10 prewritten messages during
this time.

4) Get a lot of experience meeting women in your home area. 
Romantic dating is best, but even just interacting with women on any
basis is good and will help get you over the ga ga feelings that many
guys have when they get face to face with a pretty gal.

5) Be realistic regarding age and beauty.  Try to stay within some years
of your own age and don't trade-up too many notches from your own
looks.

6) Don't get at all attached to any of the gals based on the correspondence
before meeting.

7) Try to get off the beaten path, provided you can line up 10 or more gals to
see in your chosen target city.

8) Control as much of the trip yourself as you can.  Do as much as you can
yourself without letting an agency dictate your actions.

9) Either learn the language of the country you will visit, or limit yourself to
gals who can speak your own language.

FSU women are not more educated, more beautiful, nor more intelligent
than women in your own area.  There are only two significant difference
between the women in FSU and those in your own city.

a) The FSU women tend to be more slender for each age grouping.  This
may or may not continue after their arrival in the west.

b) Younger and better looking FSU women are simply more available to you. 
For every young and beautiful gal you see in the FSU, there is an identical
one in the west.  But the one in the west will not date you, the one in the FSU will.

« Last Edit: December 28, 2020, 02:20:39 PM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #119 on: January 20, 2021, 12:04:37 PM »
Kevin hasn't posted here in quite some time but I thought that I would pull up
one of his old posts. I checked at risk of my own personal peril (Angel Eyes would
Keeeel me) his website is still up and running.

Hey guys  I wanted to point out a recurring problem that I see at  least 3-4 times a year with international dating.   

 We  know that every lady is  looking for a good  husband and  every men is looking for a good wife.   

Fact: There is a chance  that a lady/Men is going to be cordisponding with someone else during  the dating process.  Plain and simple everyone keeps looking until  the find the right person... 

 We also know that most often the  ladies are going to show the most interested to the men who meets  her in person then the men who writes a lot and never comes.  The  ladies are aware that less then 2 percent of the men who write will  show up and they understand that more then once the men they meet isn't  the men they are looking for. A photograph/profile is known to  lie. (I've seen it all from both sides)   At the same time you are  a reading this lets flip the coin over to the men's side. The men who  come to Ukraine typically write 10-50 ladies and meet 5-10 ladies per  visit.

 The truth is MEN are meeting  more Women then  Women meet Men. Very few men/women write only one and visit only one. I  have seen men come to my office to meet  with 5-10  ladies  that he been writing love letters too and fall in love  with a lady who happen to drop by the office that wasn't even on his  list.  Leaving a group of ladies wondering what happen to the  "love".   

FACT: More often Men pick  who they are going  to marry in Ukraine..   

FACT: Men/Women do not know  until the meet if they are right for each other.

Internet love is  a myth. You are never sure until you meet in person.

If you are writing a lady, do not think she is only  writing you unless she tells you so. Then try to  verify it with  the agency if possible.  The women do not believe you are only  writing  them either.  Keep it simple and open until you meet  in person.   

FACT: Do not fall in love with a photograph.   

DO NOT blame the agency/marriage broker/Friend  if you are writing  a group of ladies and one of them meets someone else prior to your  visit or after a visit and falls in love it not anyones fault.. .  Nobody  has  no control over the ladies decision on who she is going to fall in love  with or decide to start a one-to-one relationship. The only time the  agency can be held accountable if they are aware that a lady is  engaged/married.    Consider every men/lady to be  dating someone else until you are sure otherwise.   

Fact: Most ladies in their agencies have an active dating life while  they are waiting for a husband.   

Fact: Most men in agencies have  a active dating life while they are waiting for a wife. 
It is a  myth that agency employees can read minds and emotions.

 A honest  agencies is going to tell the client what they know about a lady and  any comments the lady makes about the client. They are also going to  tell the lady about the men.   But no matter how honest a  agency is we can not make or even hope of influencing a lady/men mind  or heart.   I've tried. :<..   

I wanted to give every  reader something to think out that's in the back of everyone's  thoughts but not often spoken about..   

Thanks
Kevin Hayes

http://www.khersongirls.com
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline ML

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Re: VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #120 on: January 20, 2021, 03:45:46 PM »
Kevin's words are still valid today.
Meet as many gals as you can.
The women are doing the same.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline Davo

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Re: VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #121 on: January 20, 2021, 07:04:20 PM »
Kevin's words are still valid today.
Meet as many gals as you can.
The women are doing the same.

As well as meeting women, something I don’t read in trip reports often is making friends while on trips. On my last trip to Russia I met 3 people unrelated to the woman I travelled to met (2 male and one female). They have now become great friends and we chat on a weekly basis. One friendship lead to being introduced to another woman who they thought would be a good match and that lead to an holiday romance while travelling the length of Vietnam together as a group.

Having two close Russian male friends has been a huge help when I need advice on Russian women.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2021, 07:58:37 PM by Davo »

Offline Maxx2

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Re: VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #122 on: January 21, 2021, 05:35:06 AM »




Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #123 on: January 21, 2021, 01:40:09 PM »
As well as meeting women, something I don’t read in trip reports often is making friends while on trips. On my last trip to Russia I met 3 people unrelated to the woman I travelled to met (2 male and one female). They have now become great friends and we chat on a weekly basis. One friendship lead to being introduced to another woman who they thought would be a good match and that lead to an holiday romance while travelling the length of Vietnam together as a group.

Having two close Russian male friends has been a huge help when I need advice on Russian women.

That is indeed true Davo, it's something I didn't approach right in the past years out in the FSU. I approached it too much in terms of finding a woman to either be in a romantic relationship with or not. Instead of getting caught up too much in whether the woman was into me or not I should have considered friendship more. Like you say one contact can lead onto another and also be more fun as well as help each other out.

That said the whole FSU dating scene can throw up some odd stuff for the newbie to grapple with so it can be hard to not want to figure out what is going on, but in the end just looking for friendship is probably the better option.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline ML

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Re: VISITING ONE versus VISITING MANY
« Reply #124 on: January 21, 2021, 02:48:14 PM »
I had many business friends in FSU, both men and women.

But when I started my search for a permanent woman, I did not mention any of this to those prior friends.

Reason: I did not want them to get involved in setting me up on dates, because they would inevitably tell the women more than I wanted them to know relative to my background (as they thought they knew it) and particularly their perception of my financial position.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

 

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