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Author Topic: Hello from Central Texas  (Read 1808 times)

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Offline Bigtex

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Re: Hello from Central Texas
« Reply #25 on: May 18, 2017, 07:45:46 PM »
When you marry someone that has children, you don't just get "thrown together" or come home from the honeymoon to "surprise!"

By your experience 25% of one specific persons spouses were good with his kids. The fact that he married four times could insinuate that he possibly was part of the problem.

Her in the states the overwhelming majority of the mothers get custody of the children, so that mentality applies here as well.

It's counterintuitive to say that these are loving, nurturing, family oriented women, but not towards a child. Do they love their siblings, nieces and nephews?

Offline Boethius

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Re: Hello from Central Texas
« Reply #26 on: May 18, 2017, 11:05:51 PM »
No, you don't come home to a surprise, but if you are marrying a woman from the FSU, in most cases, you've spent a few weeks here and there with her, and then 90 days on a fiancee visa.  You may be in love, your children have no say in the matter.

I lived in Ukraine for a lengthy period, I am from the Ukrainian diaspora, speak Ukrainian fluently (used to speak fluent Russian, but I haven't bothered keeping it up, but it's still better than that of 99% of foreigners), and I know a lot of FSU Russians and Ukrainians here.  Those communities tend to "stick" together, particularly through churches and cultural events.  So, I've seen a lot of marriages.  While I obviously am not a party to the marriage, nothing surprises me. 

The man I knew in Ukraine - first wife cheated on him, so he divorced her.  He was 19 when he married her, so that tells me that she was pregnant, and that, rather than some great love, was the impetus for the marriage.  This was extremely common in the USSR (i.e.,  young girl getting pregnant, and an early marriage).   Second wife died, so you can't really blame him on that one.  Third wife was a rebound to the death, cheated on him as well, so he divorced her.  The fact that he, as a man, had custody of all his children, suggests that his first and third wives dumped those children, because in the USSR, women almost never lost custody of their children, even if they were alcoholics.  So, I can't really say his marriages were all failures, only the third one, really.  His fourth wife was a gem, a really beautiful soul, and he stayed with her until his death, over 25 years.

American mothers may get custody, but in most states, joint custody is the default, and most men stay in their children's lives.  That is not the case in the FSU, at least not the Slavic parts.  You just can't say the situations are analogous, because they are not, in any way.

I disagree that being family oriented toward your family and not toward non biological children is counter intuitive.  Plus, I'm not the one saying they're loving and nurturing.  Some are, some aren't.  Just as everywhere else in the world.  The mistake WM make is to believe that FSUW are superior to WW in their "family values".  Again, some are, some aren't. 
« Last Edit: May 18, 2017, 11:12:57 PM by Boethius »
"Without religion there is no morality, and without morality there is no law." - Lord Denning

Offline Wayne

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Re: Hello from Central Texas
« Reply #27 on: May 19, 2017, 08:54:47 AM »
My wife is an exceptional Artist! I am also an Artist, so we have a lot in common. However, I can say from my experience, not many people make a suitable spouse for an Artist.

Everybody here is worried about your child--but I see that as a lesser problem to solve.


Offline Bigtex

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Re: Hello from Central Texas
« Reply #28 on: May 19, 2017, 10:27:29 AM »
Boethius, I love reading your posts! I also like when someone takes a counter position to your stance. Your ability to debate a point is very impressive.

That being said, the gentleman that had two of four wives cheat on him may have been " trying to turn a hoe into a housewife" or some other issue within his martial home. Who knows, but I'm not thinking that his marriages are a good control for judging Fsuw women on any level.

My grand dad used to say even a bling pig can find an acorn, which may be the case with the second and fourth wives.

Also, cultural and religious ties can be seen here, Italian descendants and Catholics in New York come to mind

Offline Wayne

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Re: Hello from Central Texas
« Reply #29 on: May 19, 2017, 11:15:09 AM »
The climate where you like is much different than in most FSU countries. It could take a lot to adjust!

Most FSUW would be from a city with public transportation. It might be a problem where you live? She might not drive?

Education and education level are considerations. How will she compare with you?


 

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