It appears you have not registered with our community. To register please click here ...

!!

Welcome to Russian Women Discussion - the most informative site for all things related to serious long-term relationships and marriage to a partner from the Former Soviet Union countries!

Please register (it's free!) to gain full access to the many features and benefits of the site. Welcome!

+-

Author Topic: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?  (Read 15710 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5805
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #50 on: February 11, 2019, 05:48:44 PM »
“Shooting the messenger, when you don't like the message?”

no, let’s be perfectly clear, NO ONE HERE LIKES THE MESSENGER!!!!!!
you should be used to this reaction to your personality by now...
and as a consequence the amount an amoeba drinks each day is a hell of a lot more than anyone on this board thinks about your quaint hillbilly customs and language taught to you by granny and uncle jed!!! 

look jethro, the bar in ukraine is set low, real low...
instead of a 1/4 mile with hurdles
you have two steps and a piece of string to walk over
and what did you do?
you took one step forward, two steps backward and then fell over on your ass in a puddle of your own urine
the only way to do worse than you would be to take two steps backwards and then have uncontrollable violent diarrhea in front of a crowd of hundreds of people while wearing white pants!
the HUMILIATION...
"please granny, don't beat me, I won't touch my PEE PEE no more!!!"
this is YOU!!!!


dewd, I think we can safely assume beyond a reasonable measure of doubt that nature just flat out doesn’t support the idea of you EVER reproducing...
god’s seed has fallen on barren ground and i'm sure you're spillin plenty of your seed as well, ewwwww... over 20 years, since the last time I did that, probably what, 20 minutes ago for you?

bee farmer,
you know what I'm tellin you is true
guys who are lonely and socially isolated tend to masturbate a LOT, right???
imagine the "mental effects" of doing that year in and year out, over and over and over and over
you know that instead of having sex the natural way, the way GOD INTENDED but intead do it in an "unnatural way"
that it's a sin, right?????
Book of Genesis chapter 38
Onanism
BeeFarmer from now on EVERY single time you spill your seed
I want the words, "IT'S A SIN!!!!" to flash in your mind...
cuz the bible sez you're a sinner bee boy, and you're gonna BURN...
sizzle..sizzle...
HAHAHAHAHA, see you in HELL bee boy HAHAHAHA!!!!

PS
bee boy
do you realize you've received more sexual gratification from the hand of a man than you have received from a woman
so what does that make YOU bee boy!!!
I can just imagine the twisted little fantasies that go on in your fevered brain each night before you go to bed
a life of quiet desperation and deep frustration topped off with a thick layer of denial

PS II
bee boy,
if your experience of sexual gratification has not EXCLUSIVELY been accomplished by you stroking yourself, not only physically with your pudgy little hand flying up and down faster than a 2 stroke cylinder fueled by straight nitro, but mentally as well with god only knows what dark twisted images pulled out of your repressed sexual fantasies that violate EVERY known taboo...
then it has undoubtedly, and I mean undoubtedly has made up the vast majority of the total “happy moments"

and guess what bee bee boy
you know the old wive’s tale that excessive masturbation can cause “mental enfeeblement”
maybe...
maybe, they were right...





« Last Edit: February 12, 2019, 05:20:19 AM by krimster2 »

Offline SteveInBoston

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 467
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #51 on: February 11, 2019, 06:45:14 PM »
The data is from the National Survey of Family Growth, which surveyed individuals.
This was not a survey of couples.  The only way your argument would be valid is if it was a survey of couples.

The proof is in the pudding.  Do you know what that means?  Kinda debunks your assertion, doesn't it?

Shooting the messenger, when you don't like the message?

Where have I instructed people how to live their lives? (ie, driving a car)  I do believe in giving people facts, and letting them make their own decisions.


1) Really?  You just spouted numbers without references.  Your data states all second marriages - what is the definition of "all"?  Link please, no more hearsay.

2) What?  More nonsense from you?  What pudding, what proof?  Are you Bill Cosby?  And if you want to seem scientific, at the very least list and link to specific sources, not just random internet data.  National Survey of Family Growth has many studies and publications - which ones specifically?

3) You have no message.  Your title is Are you marriage or divorce material.  All you've delivered was data on people who are married or divorce.  So your message is if you are married you are marriage material and if you are divorced you are divorce material?  Are you kidding me?

4)  Is your memory that bad?  Didn't you go on a rant about someone divorced and marrying again is like drinking and driving again?  Wasn't your point of that diatribe to tell people to don't get married a second (or third) time? 

I was going to say go back to your books but that would be giving you too much credit.  Go back to your internet and come back when you've actually connected with someone and had some real experience.  And I mean that sincerely.  Connect with real women, find the right relationship for you rather than endlessly surfing and pondering.

Offline rwd123

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 477
  • Country: ua
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #52 on: February 11, 2019, 10:59:17 PM »
Bee Farmer - Your views on marriage and divorce coalesce a figure devoid of intimate relationships. In other words, ignorance. It's no surprise others provide condescending feedback to your questionable hypotheses. There's value in being both "book smart" and "street smart", but relationships require more of the latter. That is, experience.

The best golfers end up in bunkers or lose their balls to water holes - sometimes even miss the cut, and still win tournaments. You're trying to provide advice to experienced golfers when you've never picked up a club. Get in the game. You'll have air swings, whack up mounds of dirt, maybe even feel stupid - but it's the only way to start.

Offline msmob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10618
  • Country: ie
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #53 on: February 12, 2019, 12:47:53 AM »
Bee Farmer - Your views on marriage and divorce coalesce a figure devoid of intimate relationships. In other words, ignorance. It's no surprise others provide condescending feedback to your questionable hypotheses. There's value in being both "book smart" and "street smart", but relationships require more of the latter. That is, experience.

The best golfers end up in bunkers or lose their balls to water holes - sometimes even miss the cut, and still win tournaments. You're trying to provide advice to experienced golfers when you've never picked up a club. Get in the game. You'll have air swings, whack up mounds of dirt, maybe even feel stupid - but it's the only way to start.

Astounding  riposte ...Bang on target.

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5805
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #54 on: February 12, 2019, 05:51:54 AM »
I WAS gonna say that...

have you ever seen how an animal that has been abused by its owner behaves?
this is how bee boy behaves!

so who was it that beat you bee boy, granny or uncle jed?
my money’s on granny and that this wretchedly cruel woman probably made you cut your own “long", “thick" hickory switches, and then she pulled down “your drawers” and wacked that skinny little white ass of yours as hard as she could!
I wonder how many times this happened?
sometimes did granny do this to you in front of other kids?
did the little girls all giggle and point at your “you know what”? hmmmm...???

I can certainly see how dealing with this early child hood trauma
could impair your sexual development

now, if you claim my analysis of the origin of your undeveloped sexual behavior is incorrect
then please provide an alternate explanation that explains your behavior better than the one I have just presented...
or just be silent and this will be your tacit acceptance of your wretchedness...

do remember bee boy, you came at me first
and you missed by a mile
my aim is VERY MUCH MORE ACCURATE, don't you agree?

« Last Edit: February 12, 2019, 11:44:05 AM by krimster2 »

Offline Jumper

  • Moderator
  • *
  • Posts: 3755
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #55 on: February 14, 2019, 12:28:22 AM »
Quote from: BeeFarmer
I'm saying that divorced people will never fight to overcome marital problems as someone who is in their first marriage.

You have a couple of valid points then throw out stuff like this.


You have no idea if one or the other party, in either case , would try harder to
keep a marraige intact.
Statistics do not prove that one way or the other, nor would it apply to any given  couple.


You keep forgetting the crucial part,  that it only takes one person to no longer be committed to a marriage for it to fail.


I know without any doubt I'm  better equipped to handle relationship  challenges ,than in my youth.

My first wife passed away, so my lack of  experience in relationship skills, dint cause the marriage to end.

Nothing in your survey did.
I have a child I'm very proud of from that marriage, who has grown into a fine young man I admire.
We had a marraige people aspire to, and I have zero regrets other than an unfortunate accident that I wasn't involved in.


My  second marriage ended in amicable divorce,  not something you eem to really understand or condone.
I respect your convictions.

You can feel I'm an idiot for remarrying.

And I can feel your perspective is
lacking any depth.

Since I'm on my third marraige the statistics are grim.
Since neither my wife or I are statistics,  it doesn't  bother me in the least .
We have a wonderful relationship ,marraige, and family, and are blessed with an amazing child.
 I'd not experience that if going by statistical probability coupled with a crippling fear of failure. If i had allowed that to regulate my choice to  remarry, I'd certainly be an idiot.















.

Offline Bee Farmer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 530
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #56 on: February 21, 2019, 05:54:05 PM »
bee farmer,
you know what I'm tellin you is true

What I know is that your typical MO is to hurl insults at anyone you disagree with, hoping something will stick.  Sadly, you are so far out in left field it isn't funny.

Your inferiority complex is astounding.  You resort to childish behavior in an attempt to drag others down, so you don't seem so bad by comparison.  It's really sad and pathetic that a grown person would act the way you do.  You've complained about how Ukrainians tried to take advantage of you at every opportunity.  Have you ever considered that you attracted that negative attention to yourself?  That people were like that towards you simply because you don't know how to treat people with respect?


Offline Bee Farmer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 530
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #57 on: February 21, 2019, 06:14:49 PM »
1) Really?  You just spouted numbers without references.  Your data states all second marriages - what is the definition of "all"?  Link please, no more hearsay

I also told you that a lot was drawn from the National Survey of Family Growth.
If you're interested in researching further, Uncle Google is your friend.  You shouldn't need me to spoonfeed you information.

Quote
What?  More nonsense from you?  What pudding, what proof?  Are you Bill Cosby?  And if you want to seem scientific, at the very least list and link to specific sources, not just random internet data.  National Survey of Family Growth has many studies and publications - which ones specifically?

Are you not familiar with the expression, the proof is in the pudding?  Google it.

I believe there have been at least 3 NSFG surveys done.

Quote
3) You have no message.  Your title is Are you marriage or divorce material.  All you've delivered was data on people who are married or divorce.  So your message is if you are married you are marriage material and if you are divorced you are divorce material?  Are you kidding me?

My message is not that if you are married you are marriage material, and if you are divorced you are divorce material.

The expression if one is marriage material (or divorce material) refers to someone who is not married.

I have not judged if anyone is marriage or divorce material.  What I did was present facts, with the objective of getting people to be introspective, and judge themselves with an honest eye, if they have good potential for a successful marriage, or if they are on the train tracks headed over a divorce cliff. 

I look at it as a spectrum, with having a good foundation for marriage on one end, and a high likelihood at the other end.  Most people will be somewhere in the middle, which means they should approach marriage with extreme caution, and others should approach marriage with them with extreme caution.  I look at the risk factors like red flags.  If you get very many, it seldom ends well.

It appears that you believe you are divorce material, and are transferring your emotional response to me.  In reality, your anger is properly placed at yourself if you have risk factors for divorce, as they are the consequences of your decisions.

Quote
4)  Is your memory that bad?  Didn't you go on a rant about someone divorced and marrying again is like drinking and driving again?  Wasn't your point of that diatribe to tell people to don't get married a second (or third) time? 

The only person ranting is you.

I do believe people who are divorced are foolish (and lacking in integrity) if they pursue marriage again.
I also believe people are foolish who run up a lot of credit card debt, don't keep themselves at a healthy weight, drink excessively, chase every skirt that walks by, etc.
I also believe people have the right to act foolishly, and they will suffer the consequences.

Quote
come back when you've actually connected with someone and had some real experience. 

I do have relationship experience.  I have never been married.  I consider that a one time thing.

Quote
Connect with real women, find the right relationship for you rather than endlessly surfing and pondering.

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Before you build a house, you need a solid foundation.  Otherwise, even the most beautiful of houses will fall apart.

Before you build the right relationship, you need a solid foundation to build that relationship on.  Otherwise, it will fall apart.

Single women with that solid foundation I look for are few and far between.

Offline Bee Farmer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 530
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #58 on: February 21, 2019, 06:27:32 PM »
Bee Farmer - Your views on marriage and divorce coalesce a figure devoid of intimate relationships. In other words, ignorance.

Then you're not reading it correctly.  I'm not devoid of intimate relationships.

Just because I don't have any tattoos doesn't mean I can't recognize the folly of getting drunk and getting a tattoo for no significant reason.

Quote
It's no surprise others provide condescending feedback to your questionable hypotheses.

I suspect it largely has to do with the class of people.  Birds of a feather, flock together.  If you get around groups of people where divorce is very uncommon, the data I provided is widely accepted.  If you get around people who are all divorced and often have many risk factors for divorce, they want to believe they are the exception, and they are just as capable of having a successful relationship as anyone else.

I still believe that the purpose of marriage is to provide the best environment you can for the raising of children.  Once you pass the stage of having children, getting married doesn't have the same significance anymore.

Quote
The best golfers end up in bunkers or lose their balls to water holes - sometimes even miss the cut, and still win tournaments.

That's not a very good analogy.
Let's suppose that you are going to play a couples tournament, but you have never played in a tournament before.  If you lose the tournament, you will be stricken with a non-fatal form of cancer.  It will cost you 15 or 20 years of your life, and $250,000 or more.
Who are you going to choose as a partner?  The person who keeps hitting the ball into sand traps and water holes during practice, or a person who is consistent and is in control?


Offline Bee Farmer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 530
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #59 on: February 21, 2019, 06:33:59 PM »
You have a couple of valid points then throw out stuff like this.


You have no idea if one or the other party, in either case , would try harder to
keep a marraige intact.
Statistics do not prove that one way or the other, nor would it apply to any given  couple.


You keep forgetting the crucial part,  that it only takes one person to no longer be committed to a marriage for it to fail.


Jumper, people who have already divorced, when the going gets tough, they will quit again.  That's just their nature.

Yes, it only takes one person for a marriage to fail...which is why it is so important to choose wisely.

Quote
My first wife passed away, so my lack of  experience in relationship skills, dint cause the marriage to end.

Nothing in your survey did.
I have a child I'm very proud of from that marriage, who has grown into a fine young man I admire.
We had a marraige people aspire to, and I have zero regrets other than an unfortunate accident that I wasn't involved in.

My condolences on the loss of your wife.  The death of a spouse is a tragedy.

Quote
My  second marriage ended in amicable divorce,  not something you eem to really understand or condone.
I respect your convictions.

You can feel I'm an idiot for remarrying.

And I can feel your perspective is
lacking any depth.

Since I'm on my third marraige the statistics are grim.

I don't hold it against any widow or widower for remarrying.  They honored their marriage vows.

Now I do think you are foolish for marrying a 3rd time after you got divorced from the second wife.


Offline Bee Farmer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 530
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #60 on: February 21, 2019, 06:38:56 PM »
Pure speculation in my part, but I am guessing, Jumper, that your current wife was not a virgin when you married. That’s strike 3. You’re doomed.

This post was composed without the aid of google.

Doomed, no.
25% of 3rd marriages stay together.
Some people are comfortable with those odds, some are not.  I suspect that the older someone is, the more they are betting the marriage will be terminated by death rather than divorce.

And just because a lady is not a virgin does not mean that she has had a lot of partners either.  Hoes definitely don't make good wives, but just because a girl is not a virgin does not make her a hoe.

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5805
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #61 on: February 21, 2019, 06:41:11 PM »
" I'm not devoid of intimate relationships."

Bee Boy your right hand has provided you with 100% of all of your "intimate relationships"
EVERYONE here sees that!!!
and that's the only  intimate relationship you're knowledgeable of...
a parrot can mimic what it hears
and you can mimic what you read
but both you and the parrot have zero comprehension... ZERO!

so pipe down boy
or granny is gonna pull down your drawers and give you a good whipping in front of the other kids again!!!!
and the girls will all wildly gesture at your little "you know what" as it bounces up and down with each stoke of the whip on your quivering behind
how humiliating for you...

you do know  that according to the Bible, masturbation is a SIN, right?????
from now on, every time you're doing it, I want you to remember this....
hopefully, this will not interfere with your enjoyment of it...

« Last Edit: February 21, 2019, 06:51:10 PM by krimster2 »

Offline msmob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10618
  • Country: ie
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #62 on: February 22, 2019, 04:35:03 AM »

Now I do think you are foolish for marrying a 3rd time after you got divorced from the second wife.

I really do wish this bug that allows ignored posters 'quoted' tosh to appear gets sorted )))

BF ....  As to who is the fool - you might not realise (or care) - but I have a feeling our Jumper has a mite more respect re his views / life-style choices .. 

No one marries with an aim of failing and I have two kids who would  not be around  - so no regrets on that score

Offline SteveInBoston

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 467
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #63 on: February 22, 2019, 05:51:13 AM »
Bee,

NSFG publishes a report every 2-3 years since 1973 - there's not just 3 or 4.  You should look it up sometime rather than copying and pasting data randomly from the internet. 

rwd123's analogy was about someone with no experience going out to the world to gain experience, which fits your situation.  You're analogy is about someone experienced, a pro even, finding a right partner, which is flawed because it does not apply to you.

If you insist on ignoring others here, then the best partner for you, based on your data, is a man who earns over $70k, never married, and not more than 9 years younger or older.  Numbers don't lie, yes?

Offline Jumper

  • Moderator
  • *
  • Posts: 3755
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #64 on: March 01, 2019, 11:45:25 PM »
Quote from: Bee Farmer
Jumper, people who have already divorced, when the going gets tough, they will quit again.  That's just their nature.

Yes, it only takes one person for a marriage to fail...which is why it is so important to choose wisely.

I'm sorry you dont seem to notice the contradiction of recognizing it takes two  committed partners,yet say someone already once divorced well surely quit again, impliying its because they did before.



I understand you added the * they quit ...when the going gets tough* as a qualifier .

But you are over generalizing ,then using  specifics, to substantiate  them.

Again, any given divorcee is only half the equation.
They may have been the cause , they may tried everything possible but were abandoned by their spouse regardless.
Or any degree in between.

I understand the generality is the average.


Generally youd be better off to marry when you are 98. Why not concentrate on that?
Because its accurate,yet foolish?


So applying general statistics seems a rather flawed concept to apply in the selection process.

It seldom would apply to a random specific individual,especially in the context that no matter what,they were always only 50 percent of the equation.

That's somehow not a significant factor?

I think the reason someone divorced,or never married , are really important factors such studies arnt going to show.

There are a lot of never married men and women that are that way for fairly solid reasons, reasons far more prone to causing a divorce than a statistically perfect candidate by the data.

I'm certain you've factored that in, it just doesn't come across that way.








.

Offline Bee Farmer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 530
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #65 on: March 30, 2019, 11:15:46 PM »
I'm sorry you dont seem to notice the contradiction of recognizing it takes two  committed partners,yet say someone already once divorced well surely quit again, impliying its because they did before.

I understand you added the * they quit ...when the going gets tough* as a qualifier .

But you are over generalizing ,then using  specifics, to substantiate  them.

I understand the generality is the average.

It's not the average.  2/3 of divorced people who remarry, get divorced again.
No one gets divorced during good times.  It's when the going gets rough, people start thinking running away is easier than working on the problems.  From my observations, divorced people think they have learned how to have a good marriage by learning how to avoid the problems, but they never learn how to work through problems.  The problem is, there is always going to be tragedy and injustice that many people face.  There are always going to be problems.

Why do you refuse to see that people are responsible for their actions?
Yes, it takes two committed partners, but you are 100% responsible for both of them.  Both people are 100% responsible.  Quit trying to blame one party or another.
You can control your side of the relationship.  You also control the other side of the relationship, because you chose them.  If they don't act the way you desire, it is your fault, because they are what you chose.

Quote
Again, any given divorcee is only half the equation.
They may have been the cause , they may tried everything possible but were abandoned by their spouse regardless.
Or any degree in between.

You're wrong.  Any divorcee is 100% of the equation.
They were responsible for their own actions and efforts.
They were responsible for choosing their partner.
Both of those halves equal 100%.

Quote
Generally youd be better off to marry when you are 98. Why not concentrate on that?
Because its accurate,yet foolish?

If the ONLY thing that was important to you was a marriage that lasted until natural death, that would be a viable solution.
However, most normal people want someone to spend their life with, plus a marriage that lasts until natural death.
And that makes it foolish for you to even suggest waiting until age 98.

Quote
So applying general statistics seems a rather flawed concept to apply in the selection process.

Says the divorced person to the person who has never divorced. 
And that blows your argument out of the water.  Gee, the evidence shows your selection process failed.  Maybe you should have tried a selection process with a higher success rate.

Quote
It seldom would apply to a random specific individual,especially in the context that no matter what,they were always only 50 percent of the equation.

That's somehow not a significant factor?

But they are not only 50% of the equation.  They are 100%. 
The people who argue that they were only 50% are people who refuse to accept responsibility for their actions. 
If your partner exhibits a behavior you don't like, it is 100% your fault, because you chose them as a partner.

Quote
I think the reason someone divorced,or never married , are really important factors such studies arnt going to show.

Every situation is unique, but you can get a good idea of things to look for in a partner, if they have the qualities that create a strong foundation for marriage or not.  There comes a point that small details why they divorced become irrelevant, as you can't see the forest (big picture) because of all the trees (details).

Quote
There are a lot of never married men and women that are that way for fairly solid reasons, reasons far more prone to causing a divorce than a statistically perfect candidate by the data.

I'm certain you've factored that in, it just doesn't come across that way.

Of the guys I know who never married, aside from the problem areas identified as risk factors for divorce, (drug/alcohol problems, obesity) common themes tend to be an abusive/neglectful mother, a heartbreak over a failed relationship,  or they are in general, a useless guy...or simply unrealistic expectations.
Of women I know who never married, common themes are childhood sexual abuse, heartbreak over a failed relationship, or so ugly or fat they can't attract a decent guy...or they have unrealistic expectations.

There is something you seem to forget.  There is something known as trust, which is a vital part of a successful relationship.
A divorced person can never be trusted.  They have proven that they can't be trusted.
All you can do is hope. A relationship with someone divorced is based upon hope, not upon trust.

They made a sacred vow and covenant to remain with another person (who supposedly was the most important person in the world to them), no matter what, until death.
And they broke that vow.
Any promise they make to you, or you to them, is no different than the vow you made to the person you were divorced from.
They can never trust you to be honorable, because you have already dishonored yourself.  (The definition of honor is to fulfill your obligations.)
Divorce is dishonor, and pursuing another relationship after divorce is an even greater dishonor.

In my opinion, only a fool would marry someone who was divorced.  I have no intention of being such a fool, so I choose not to marry a woman who has been divorced.
« Last Edit: March 31, 2019, 12:52:40 AM by Bee Farmer »

Offline msmob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10618
  • Country: ie
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #66 on: March 31, 2019, 04:07:10 AM »
It's a shame that folk quote BF - it means those of us that block his righteous BS get to see it ..((

This is a classic

"Divorced people cannot be trusted"..

I am divorced .. TWICE, now ..     

You had better contact SC, fast - to 'save' her ....








« Last Edit: March 31, 2019, 05:39:39 AM by msmob »

Offline fathertime

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9864
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #67 on: March 31, 2019, 05:37:55 AM »

If the ONLY thing that was important to you was a marriage that lasted until natural death, that would be a viable solution.
However, most normal people want someone to spend their life with, plus a marriage that lasts until natural death.

And that makes it foolish for you to even suggest waiting until age 98.

Utter bullshit.  Who says that most normal people want to spend their life with the same woman/man until their natural death?  Plenty of people are happy to move from relationship to relationship, even plenty of people that were once married. 


They can never trust you to be honorable, because you have already dishonored yourself.  (The definition of honor is to fulfill your obligations.)
Divorce is dishonor, and pursuing another relationship after divorce is an even greater dishonor.

In my opinion, only a fool would marry someone who was divorced.  I have no intention of being such a fool, so I choose not to marry a woman who has been divorced.
You are applying your own standard to others.  Some people don't take marriage as seriously as you do.  You can judge people how you like, although that does make you extremely judgmental.  I have a couple buddies in really horrible marriages, I don't see them as any more honorable than the buddies that divorced.  The guys that remained in the bad marriages just don't have the guts to pull out because they are fearful of the unknown, so they cope with a bad situation, and probably hope their spouse dies.    If I had the choice between the two, I'd pull out of the marriage rather cheerfully, and wouldn't feel dishonored.  The truth is I'm rather judgmental myself, for example, if I see a guy around 40 or so that hasn't been  married, I usually think he is a loser that hasn't had the courage to take a chance.  Too fearful he may make a mistake.   

Fathertime!   
I just happened to be browsing about the internet....

Offline Davo

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 535
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #68 on: March 31, 2019, 10:12:56 AM »
I used to think you had some good advice, now all I see is a religious nut job. You must be so bitter and jealous that divorced people are enjoying life, finding love and experiencing what you can only dream of.

Although I say I was divorced (saves me explaining my tail of woe and why I was engaged for 20 years, over and over again), I was never married.... where does that leave me?.... Am I trust worthy because I didn’t sign a document for the magic, invisible sky wizzard?

Forget about how other people live their lives and concentrate on yourself being a better man. I guess you can be forgiven as your experience with woman is so little, that you haven’t worked out they can smell BS from a mile and away.... and you’re full of it.

You’re like a steam engine that’s trying to plough ten thousand acres.... lots of noise and hot air, but when it comes to the crunch you’re aspirations exceed your ability and realistically, you’re not relevant in today’s modern times.
« Last Edit: March 31, 2019, 11:28:34 AM by Davo »

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5805
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #69 on: March 31, 2019, 10:49:49 AM »
bee boy, what'd I tell ya?
I'm beginning to think that you LIKED it when Granny pulled down "your drawers" and whipped that skinny little white behind of yours in front of the other kids
and that you liked it so much that it produced a "physical manifestation" of how much you liked it!

I hope you got your right hand a new glove for valentine's day as a show of appreciation
but in the sky daddy book it clearly sez your behavior is sinful
and that when you die, your soul will journey far beneath the earth, even below the oil and gas fields
until you get to Hell, and there you shall burn for all of eternity
for the sin of Onanism
I can only imagine what the Onaniam part of Hell must be like or the punishments served up there


Offline Bee Farmer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 530
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #70 on: March 31, 2019, 12:37:11 PM »
It's a shame that folk quote BF - it means those of us that block his righteous BS get to see it ..((

This is a classic

"Divorced people cannot be trusted"..

I am divorced .. TWICE, now ..     

You had better contact SC, fast - to 'save' her ....

Does SC think for even one minute that the two of you will remain together for the rest of your lives?  Or does she accept that it is likely temporary, and is only enjoying it for as long as it lasts?  Do you think she understands that there is a very real possibility that it will not last?

Maybe she is ok with such an arrangement.

Offline Davo

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 535
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #71 on: March 31, 2019, 12:45:46 PM »
Does SC think for even one minute that the two of you will remain together for the rest of your lives?  Or does she accept that it is likely temporary, and is only enjoying it for as long as it lasts?  Do you think she understands that there is a very real possibility that it will not last?

Maybe she is ok with such an arrangement.

I think you’re failing to see the obvious, why is it any of your business how two grown adults live their lives? If they are happy what right on you have to impose your warped sense of morality on them?

You’re a stranger on the internet, you don’t know them and it’s not your place to say anything about their relationship..... don’t you agree???
« Last Edit: March 31, 2019, 12:47:17 PM by Davo »

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5805
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #72 on: March 31, 2019, 12:56:09 PM »
"Maybe she is ok with such an arrangement."

even though you and your right hand are struggling over issues in your own relationship (like how much time you've been spending with your left hand)
you both still take the time to try and help others with their relationship issues.
that's so endearing...
do you make a little sock puppet for your hand or do you just ride "bare back"
what is state of the art in Onanism these days
myself, I've forgotten completely how to do it, I was probably a teenager, the last time


« Last Edit: March 31, 2019, 12:58:05 PM by krimster2 »

Offline Bee Farmer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 530
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #73 on: March 31, 2019, 12:58:18 PM »
Utter bullshit.  Who says that most normal people want to spend their life with the same woman/man until their natural death?  Plenty of people are happy to move from relationship to relationship, even plenty of people that were once married. 


Monogamy is pretty much a human universal.

From a biological/evolutionary standpoint, humans have evolved to be monogamous.
Relative to body size, human males have large penises and small testicles.  Human females have large breasts.  These things are common among monogamous species.
Polygamous males have large testicles (for increased sperm production) and small penises.

Humans have no penis bone.  When you look at penis shape, polygamous animals have penises with bumps and bends and ridges.  Monogamous animals have a penis that is consistent and smooth.

From an evolutionary standpoint, polygamous humans died out.  Something was missing, that was needed for successful continuation of the species.  Monogamy survived because it was fitter.

Quote
You are applying your own standard to others. 

How am I applying my own standards to others?

Quote
Some people don't take marriage as seriously as you do. 

People who do not take marriage seriously end up suffering bad consequences, such as divorce, and kids being raised in single parent homes (those kids do not do as well), or even worse, kids being raised in homes with someone other than a natural parent, such as step-parents or mom/dad's boyfriend/girlfriend. (8 times the child abuse rates of kids with both biological parents.)

The evidence is quite clear that people who do not take marriage seriously suffer horrible consequences.

Quote
You can judge people how you like, although that does make you extremely judgmental.

There's nothing wrong with being judgemental.  People are supposed to be judgemental.

Quote
I have a couple buddies in really horrible marriages, I don't see them as any more honorable than the buddies that divorced.

Are they fulfilling their obligations, even if it is a horrible marriage?  If so, then they are honorable.  That's what honorable means.  That's the definition.

Quote
The guys that remained in the bad marriages just don't have the guts to pull out because they are fearful of the unknown, so they cope with a bad situation, and probably hope their spouse dies.

You're speculating.

People who don't have guts are cowards, and are the ones who pull out.  People with guts will keep trying to work through problems.

Quote
If I had the choice between the two, I'd pull out of the marriage rather cheerfully, and wouldn't feel dishonored.

Then maybe you are blindly ignorant of what being honorable means?  If you don't keep your promises and obligations, then you have dishonored yourself.

Quote
The truth is I'm rather judgmental myself, for example, if I see a guy around 40 or so that hasn't been  married, I usually think he is a loser that hasn't had the courage to take a chance.  Too fearful he may make a mistake.   

Perhaps they are a 'loser,' but they still have the potential to be a winner.
Someone who is divorced is a bigger loser, and a failure.  Their only hope of not being a failure is to reconcile with their ex.


Offline Bee Farmer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 530
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #74 on: March 31, 2019, 01:11:18 PM »
I used to think you had some good advice, now all I see is a religious nut job.

How am I a religious nut job?  I don't go to church.  I don't tell people they should live their life a certain way, simply because a religious text says to.  I do hope that people would live by the libertarian creed of peaceful, voluntary, and honest.

Is it because my views mirror some views advocated by religions?  Does that make me a religious nut job?
If so, since religions teach that it is wrong to murder, rape, and steal, if you believe it is wrong to murder, rape, and steal, then that makes you a religious nut job too.

Quote
Although I say I was divorced (saves me explaining my tail of woe and why I was engaged for 20 years, over and over again), I was never married.... where does that leave me?.... Am I trust worthy because I didn’t sign a document for the magic, invisible sky wizzard?

Saying you are divorced if you are not divorced is dishonest, which means you should not be trusted.
A person is only as good as their word, and if they break their promises and obligations, then they can't be trusted.

Quote
Forget about how other people live their lives and concentrate on yourself being a better man.

A better man looks at a girl's past of how she has lived her life, which is why I won't date a girl who has kids or is divorced.  Only a fool would ignore how others live their lives.
If someone has a history of being dishonest or breaking their word, I would have to be an idiot to ignore how they have lived their life.

Would you lend money to someone who never pays people back, or who has filed bankruptcy?  You're asking for trouble if you do.
It's no difference getting involved with someone who is divorced.

 

+-RWD Stats

Members
Total Members: 8883
Latest: Leroy14
New This Month: 1
New This Week: 0
New Today: 0
Stats
Total Posts: 540892
Total Topics: 20846
Most Online Today: 1958
Most Online Ever: 12701
(January 14, 2020, 07:04:55 AM)
Users Online
Members: 9
Guests: 1365
Total: 1374

+-Recent Posts

Re: PreNups, Trusts, Offshore Accounts & Protecting yourself by Trenchcoat
Today at 05:43:43 PM

Re: PreNups, Trusts, Offshore Accounts & Protecting yourself by krimster2
Today at 09:57:47 AM

Re: PreNups, Trusts, Offshore Accounts & Protecting yourself by Bee Farmer
Today at 09:40:43 AM

Re: PreNups, Trusts, Offshore Accounts & Protecting yourself by Trenchcoat
Yesterday at 09:22:38 PM

Re: What to do by Trenchcoat
Yesterday at 07:03:55 PM

Bizarre activities, most of which took place in Florida by 2tallbill
Yesterday at 04:35:54 PM

Re: PreNups, Trusts, Offshore Accounts & Protecting yourself by krimster2
Yesterday at 03:02:23 PM

Re: PreNups, Trusts, Offshore Accounts & Protecting yourself by Bee Farmer
Yesterday at 02:03:09 PM

Re: PreNups, Trusts, Offshore Accounts & Protecting yourself by Trenchcoat
Yesterday at 01:16:05 PM

Re: PreNups, Trusts, Offshore Accounts & Protecting yourself by krimster2
Yesterday at 01:08:21 PM

Powered by EzPortal

create account