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Author Topic: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?  (Read 12853 times)

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Offline Scooter

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #50 on: May 22, 2006, 05:54:49 PM »
It really puts the truth to the race baiting that goes on in the US. White people are brainwashed, therapized and browbeaten to ignore minority misbehavior, or to rationalize/excuse it. Many RW seem to report that they do not like blacks, that they are rude, they ignore wedding rings, they provide terrible customer service. It suprises many people to hear such things, because we have been programmed to ignore such thoughts when they come into our heads. We do have lower expectations for certain minority groups, but cannot say it out loud.

America is a nation of immigrants, but when push comes to shove we are a nation of European immigrants, with a slow enough trickle of others that we still have our identity. Using that phrase to justify allowing 11 million mexicans to stay, and then to import their 70 million relatives over the next 15 years is pretty stupid. We would then be a nation without an identity.

I would think the 2nd class citizen syndrome is worse in areas with so many of an ethnic group exist that they tend to "balkanize". Otherwise an RW would be a novelty and darn interesting person to get to know. With the exception of the angry feminists, of course.
« Last Edit: May 22, 2006, 06:02:51 PM by Scooter »

Offline DonAz

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #51 on: May 22, 2006, 08:58:51 PM »
To answer the original question: Yes  my wife is treated as a firstclass citizen. In fact if you ask what her favorite thing about America is , she will tell you it is the people. I can't think of a single instance when someone was rude or disrespectful to her.... Maybe it has something to do with my New York attitude. ;D I would certainly become un-glued if someone disrespected my wife!!!

I can understand why is it a problem in Brooklyn. Due to the constant influx of immigrants the attitude is to look down your nose at the new comers. When my Irish ancestors arrived in NY they could not get decent work and were treated like dogs.. Some years later when the Irish were established they looked down there noses at the Italians and on and on it goes.

The Russian community in Brighton Beach was established about about 30 years ago and they have yet  to assimilate with the rest of the population. That along with the problems of crime that they create in the area only causes more mistrust of them.  So Bruce I can understand your wife's situation. It is very unfortunate that good Russians get tainted by the bad in your area.

Offline tm33398

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #52 on: May 23, 2006, 12:09:43 PM »
Hello, My wife works PT in russian cultural center outside of detroit and works with children whose parents are both FSU people. I was thinking they may look at her as having it easier than them becuz she has american husband to support her while she works PT and finds her way adjusting in usa. She has generally found americans to be polite, more polite tham russians she says. She has said that they smile more herethan over there. There are probably very good reasons for that. But she has ridden the bus in one of detroit suburbs and has said that she has experienced black woman bus driver act as if she was better than her. This could be becuz she is riding the bus, it could becuz she is white and riding the bus, who knows, but some amercians of late have been a bit nationalistic concerning immigrants becuz of illegal immigrants. It really is easier to generalize and speak about a subject without knowing something about it or a people. But her biggest problem is feeling different becuz of language differences and accent. But I told her today that this website said that accent can be an asset and use that she should use it and not think it is laibility. And by the way, I am 75% native american and really can have many thoughts on this subject.

Offline LatinSwede

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #53 on: May 25, 2006, 08:13:50 AM »
It really puts the truth to the race baiting that goes on in the US. White people are brainwashed, therapized and browbeaten to ignore minority misbehavior, or to rationalize/excuse it. Many RW seem to report that they do not like blacks, that they are rude, they ignore wedding rings, they provide terrible customer service. It suprises many people to hear such things, because we have been programmed to ignore such thoughts when they come into our heads. We do have lower expectations for certain minority groups, but cannot say it out loud.

No argument here!  This is from a not so white person.  Minorities in the US need to stop using racism as an excuse for poor and irresponsible behavior.  Oh well!  I kind of like it when they're busy being stupid, degrading themselves/eachother, and getting locked up.  Why?  Well, thanks to affirmative I have less competition in the job market.  Gracias vatos!

Offline RedHairedGirl

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #54 on: May 25, 2006, 08:17:37 PM »
Hello, I'm new here.
This topic is very close to me. I want to tell you about my experience in America.
I live here for about 18 months. I work at the store as a seller. People who used to work in retail area will understand me how I was treated. I found out that in the USA customers are very spoiled and snobby. They don't respect you like a person, for them you are a slave. I'm not talking about all the customers, some of them are really very nice and this makes me feel better.
One day one old lady came in our store and asked me something, i answered to her and started to serve her. But when she heard my accent she started to complain that I'm doing something wrong, that I'm trying to trick her. I called the other seller (an American), she told her that I'm doing everything all right. An old lady stopped to complain and added to me:"Sorry, I was ugly to you."
There were several accidents like this when they even made me cry and fell that I'm a second class here, that I don't have the same abilities than they.
All my co-workers joke about me that I'm very quiet. I told them that I'm quiet because I'm embarrassed of my accent, I'm afraid to make a mistake.
 And of course I'm kind of tired when people ask me about my nationality. They were suggested that I'm from Germany, France, England or even from Southen Africa. I'm from Siberia where we have a lot of people from different parts of union and we never asked them where are they from and why did they move here. I think it mustn't be important which country you are from, we all made from the same dough (Russian expression), we just have different languages. Yes, I can understand American people probably tired of foreigners, but they must understand that a lot of us move not from a good life. And, please, let be nice and kind to each other. Let's "really" smile to each other, not fake like hiding a real face under the smile.
   I'm sorry may be I was so negative about Americans, but i will repeat again there are some good people. I'm so thankful to my husband for his patience to me and understanding me. He helps me a lot, he gives me a support and hopes.
Thank you for listening.

Offline Daknack

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #55 on: May 25, 2006, 08:32:11 PM »
I think there will be alot of miscommunications.  Right now we are living in a very hostile environment for foriegners because of illegal mexicans and our gutless government.  Im not sure that it is that Americans are snobby when we shop, its that we were raised with the business principle "the customer is always right".  This means essentially that even though your right as a merchent, your wrong.  Honestly, I think it has more to do with what you are doing than in the nation.  People in retail and in service jobs tend to get treated badly by the public.  I wouldnt think of it personally.

Offline PeeWee

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #56 on: May 25, 2006, 09:15:26 PM »
Hello, I'm new here.
This topic is very close to me. I want to tell you about my experience in America.
I live here for about 18 months. I work at the store as a seller. People who used to work in retail area will understand me how I was treated. I found out that in the USA customers are very spoiled and snobby. They don't respect you like a person, for them you are a slave. I'm not talking about all the customers, some of them are really very nice and this makes me feel better.
One day one old lady came in our store and asked me something, i answered to her and started to serve her. But when she heard my accent she started to complain that I'm doing something wrong, that I'm trying to trick her. I called the other seller (an American), she told her that I'm doing everything all right. An old lady stopped to complain and added to me:"Sorry, I was ugly to you."
There were several accidents like this when they even made me cry and fell that I'm a second class here, that I don't have the same abilities than they.
All my co-workers joke about me that I'm very quiet. I told them that I'm quiet because I'm embarrassed of my accent, I'm afraid to make a mistake.
 And of course I'm kind of tired when people ask me about my nationality. They were suggested that I'm from Germany, France, England or even from Southen Africa. I'm from Siberia where we have a lot of people from different parts of union and we never asked them where are they from and why did they move here. I think it mustn't be important which country you are from, we all made from the same dough (Russian expression), we just have different languages. Yes, I can understand American people probably tired of foreigners, but they must understand that a lot of us move not from a good life. And, please, let be nice and kind to each other. Let's "really" smile to each other, not fake like hiding a real face under the smile.
   I'm sorry may be I was so negative about Americans, but i will repeat again there are some good people. I'm so thankful to my husband for his patience to me and understanding me. He helps me a lot, he gives me a support and hopes.
Thank you for listening.

I think you have very accurately expressed your feelings. I agree with you. I hope that you will learn to ignore this about people and how they treat one another. It is not you specifically. It is not your problem but rather theirs. I have lived in the US all of my life yet in my business I see this in the interaction between me and my customers as well. There is always going to be someone who thinks they are somehow better than someone else. There will always be the snob and the condesendor.

People are cliqueish at both work and in school. Expecially in school where young people practice the ultimate form of selective socialization. Some kid is always going to make some other kid feel like crap year after year. One day you will become immune to it as have others before you. Your confidence will grow in your language skills and your embarrasment will lessen and then one day disappear completely.

Peewee

Offline KenC

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #57 on: May 25, 2006, 09:48:46 PM »
Red Haired Girl,
Welcome to the forum. Very nice first post. Please feel free to add your point of view through out the threads. We need more input from you ladies!
KenC
You are a den of vipers and thieves-Andrew Jackson on banks
Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies-Thomas Jefferson

Offline PeeWee

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #58 on: May 25, 2006, 10:21:31 PM »
It seems to me that generally (usually but not always) that those FSU folks that have taken jobs in the service industry work harder and try harder to please than do their American counterparts. If a customer is being demanding or rude to such a person then they would have treated a fellow American in the same manner anyway. I have about 7 Ukraine men who work with me and a larger number of Americans plus a couple of Mexicans. The Ukraine men, as a whole, work harder, complain less, and do more quality work (better workmanship) than to the American men. The Mexicans are good workers too.

Peewee 

Offline BC

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #59 on: May 25, 2006, 11:15:16 PM »
RedHairedGirl,

I've lived in different 'foreign' countries since my childhood and learned several languages. Although these experiences were never completely without pain it was quite easy.. why?  Because kids have very little inhibitions or fears of making mistakes. Even today I cannot speak, read or write any language perfectly. I'm now living in a 'foreign' country with my wife and we both get the same questions you do. Maybe a smile or chuckle when we really say something that sounds 'funny' in their language. Many times they will say 'I never thought about it quite that way!'  All 'normalna' and we usually laugh with them and at ourselves.

Worry less about others and enjoy more about just being yourself.  You will actually learn quicker and with less effort, even from mistakes.  Don't worry.. be happy!

By the way.. I also agree with the others about the difficulty working in the service industry.. It's tough no matter who you are or where you are from.  Many want to be Mr. King and Ms. Queen.. for $ 1.99.. isn't that funny?  ;D  Next time just smile and ask the customer how they want the problem fixed.. (they will never know what you are really thinking).

Never take anything a customer says personally unless it's a compliment about how well you did your job.

Cheers!

Offline Muj

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #60 on: May 26, 2006, 12:00:53 PM »
Redhair,

I encourage you in your experiences and hope all improves.  Welcome to the USA and the board.  I'm curious as to which city you live in, as each has a different personality.  Did you know English prior?  What are your likes and dislikes so far?

Offline RedHairedGirl

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #61 on: May 26, 2006, 04:09:27 PM »
Red Haired Girl,
Welcome to the forum. Very nice first post. Please feel free to add your point of view through out the threads. We need more input from you ladies!
KenC
Thank you for the welcome. I hope my input is of some value here.
Red Haired Girl

Offline RedHairedGirl

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #62 on: May 26, 2006, 04:18:40 PM »
Many want to be Mr. King and Ms. Queen.. for $ 1.99.. isn't that funny?  ;D  Next time just smile and ask the customer how they want the problem fixed.. (they will never know what you are really thinking).

Never take anything a customer says personally unless it's a compliment about how well you did your job.

Cheers!

BC,
I liked your respond. I think it's very funny and it's true. I will follow your advice and who knows may be this way I'll fix my problem.
R H G  ;)

Offline RedHairedGirl

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #63 on: May 26, 2006, 04:45:30 PM »
Redhair,

I encourage you in your experiences and hope all improves.  Welcome to the USA and the board.  I'm curious as to which city you live in, as each has a different personality.  Did you know English prior?  What are your likes and dislikes so far?

Thank for your post. I appreciate your thoughts.
I live in small city in the mid East coast area. My husband says this city is stuck in the 50s.
I didn't know English very good before moving to the USA. I remembered several words from my high school, but it was a long time ago.When I've met my husband I started to brush up on my English with a private teacher. When I came her I was attending the ESL class at the church. And I just finished ESL oral speaking class.
  The freedom of choice that's what I like about America. It seems to me that you can realize yourself easier here than in Russia.
  I don't like here the poor public transportation. I live in a small town and I do miss the way of Russian city... you can walk around without feeling  that you are different or strange because you are walking. I miss the Victory Day in Russia with a great firework and New Year with a real winter.
Red Haired Girl   :)

Offline RedHairedGirl

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #64 on: May 26, 2006, 05:00:13 PM »
I think you have very accurately expressed your feelings. I agree with you. I hope that you will learn to ignore this about people and how they treat one another. It is not you specifically. It is not your problem but rather theirs. I have lived in the US all of my life yet in my business I see this in the interaction between me and my customers as well. There is always going to be someone who thinks they are somehow better than someone else. There will always be the snob and the condesendor.

Peewee

Peewee,
Thank you for your nice post. I'm glad glad that there are a lot of people that can understand me.
R H G

Offline Daknack

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #65 on: May 26, 2006, 05:25:24 PM »
If your mid atlantic we might be neighbors... but Ive never heard anyone accuse my town of being stuck in the 50s.

Offline PeeWee

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #66 on: May 26, 2006, 07:04:41 PM »
If your mid atlantic we might be neighbors... but Ive never heard anyone accuse my town of being stuck in the 50s.

If you are living in Dubuque then you may be, Dak. I just read where a movie company began filming in Dubuque because it best depicted Cleveland as it appeared in the mid 50s.

Peewee

Offline Muj

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #67 on: May 27, 2006, 10:49:28 AM »
Redhair,

I grew up in a small east PA town, very fifties I agree.  Winter weather in PA.  After learning to drive the transportation becomes less of an issue.  Many city centers and housing developments now create small centers in walking distance to the homes.  For a variety pf reasons I recently sold my house in the forest and now rent in a newer area with many interesting places to walk to.  Hopefully this helps my dear fiancee when she arrives :).

Offline BC

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #68 on: May 27, 2006, 03:51:04 PM »
Engaged,

Shopping within walking distance??? you gotta be kidding..

 ;D

Offline Muj

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #69 on: May 27, 2006, 04:05:59 PM »
BC,

Some small shops and restaurants close then many more about 3 km.   So you're cautioning on the shopping?

Offline PeeWee

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #70 on: May 27, 2006, 04:21:03 PM »
Engaged,

Shopping within walking distance??? you gotta be kidding..

 ;D


I live one mile from the supermarket, pharmacy, cleaners, pizza, dentist, doctor, real estate agent, Blockubuster, Super Cuts, the place where they get their fingernails fixed, karate guy, the 7-11, and the optomitrist. What more could a walking Russian woman want all within 1 mile of her home? I even think there is a bus stop near there too. 1 mile, I say.

I will wager that she will have a car as soon as she figures out that 2 miles further on there is a Russian market, bank, teriyaki, a hardware store, the post office, a Fred Meyer, donut shop- with cops, a Firestone store to fix said car, a Subway...although I just learned today that gambugers and pizza are not good for my health and that sandwiches fall into that same catagory. I live on sandwiches. Let's see. The train stops there and if you are lucky enough to catch that train one be be in shopping heaven (downtown Seattle) in just 25 minutes, 8 theaters. The airport (Aeroflot) is a 20 minute drive which means that mother Russia is as close as 11 hours and 20 minutes away. Not bad. Not bad at all.
Peewee

Peewee

Offline Jumper

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #71 on: May 27, 2006, 04:40:38 PM »
Quote
What more could a walking Russian woman want all within 1 mile of her home?

what more?
that people were actually walking !  LOL

seriously my wife was driving around the first day she was here,,
and everyday thereafter.
but she intially was very aware of not many people walking,
and strangly enough for how much she likes to drive, it bothered her.

I told her suburbia people drive, everywhere,
 even if its a few blocks, Americans love thier cars.
Chicago ( just a 35 minute drive away)
 makes her feel at home because lots of people walking, the hustle bustle..

in the FSU people gravitate to the city, and the city center..
its been hard for her to undserstand a culture where
many  people consider moving away from the city ,
to live in villages ;)
 Now she complians when in the FSU there are too many people, and they are rude, go figure :)
.

Offline catzenmouse

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #72 on: May 27, 2006, 04:53:49 PM »
What more could a walking Russian woman want all within 1 mile of her home? I even think there is a bus stop near there too. 1 mile, I say.

 How about every young black buck driving around stopping to hoot at her and give her the "Baby just come with me". Is that what you want you wife to be subjected to? This ain't Russia, this is the good ol' US of A so don't even begin to think that walking is the same thing. I can't even begin to tell you how many times that has happend to Elena. Now, she does not walk anywhere. I will drive her and pick her up. F! Walking in this country! And who rides the bus here? Think about it.

Ken
"Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal."
-- Louis K. Anspacher

Offline jb

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #73 on: May 27, 2006, 05:26:06 PM »
Right on the money, Ken.   Here it's the Vatos, (we don't have too many blacks).

My wife drives everywhere, no walking allowed.

Offline PeeWee

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Re: Do any of your wives feel they are treated as first class citizens?
« Reply #74 on: May 27, 2006, 05:58:56 PM »
How about every young black buck driving around stopping to hoot at her and give her the "Baby just come with me". Is that what you want you wife to be subjected to? This ain't Russia, this is the good ol' US of A so don't even begin to think that walking is the same thing. I can't even begin to tell you how many times that has happend to Elena. Now, she does not walk anywhere. I will drive her and pick her up. F! Walking in this country! And who rides the bus here? Think about it.

Ken


What kind of 'hood you living in, Catman? I have not seen a black guy, other than my African doctor neighbor, in my crusty white snobassed neighborhood in years! She'd be perfectly safe walking to the store at 3am, much less 3pm. Man, I had not even thought about that. I kid you not. The only Africans, Asians, and Mexicans I see around work at the store. They don't even let dogs into the neighborhood. It is that bad! Well, I do see dogs, but only between 5pm and 8pm when their masters are out walking them. I live in a strange world, guys.

All kidding aside, I did tell Lena that she would have to learn to drive. I did notice just a few minutes ago, as little peewee and I were returning from the liquor store that there is also a defensive driving school within 1 mile as well. Lena can walk on down to the school and learn how to drive. She can do that and she has got herself a new car.

Peewee 
 
« Last Edit: May 27, 2006, 06:03:19 PM by PeeWee »

 

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