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Author Topic: To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....  (Read 4145 times)

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Offline Todd

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To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....
« on: May 30, 2005, 06:11:08 PM »
Hello All,

Kate's arrival in the US has been delayed until the September /October, which is a much busier time of year for me than July.  Thus, I'm going to be less able to take a large block of time off.  

My inclination is to maximize the time that I spend with Kate in the US rather than travelling to Belarus for a week, and, thus, having a week less time for her once she gets here.  So, if I have 2 consecutive weeks off, would it be better to spend those 2 weeks with Kate when she gets to the US or spend 1 week in Belarus with her and 1 week with her once she gets here?  I'm assuming if I can only get 10-12 days off, then I should not go to Belarus and just focus on spending time together once she gets here.

thanks in advance for your advice...  


Offline jb

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To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....
« Reply #1 on: May 30, 2005, 06:30:51 PM »
Todd,

It's not always possible, but almost everyone I know says they needed to work a short work schedule for about 6-8 weeks after their lady got to the States.  You should prepare your boss for the possibility that you might get a phone call and have to go put out some fires.  Hopefully he'll be  understanding, if not, then you have to decide which is most important, your job or your wife.  If you picked the job then you are in the wrong game.  

IMHO, one must always put home ahead of job.

Offline Bruno

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To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....
« Reply #2 on: May 30, 2005, 07:17:18 PM »
In my case, when Tatiana ( ex-wife ) have come in Belgium, i have take one month holiday without income... usual holiday are pay by the boss, but they was already used...

I don't know the system in US... but here, for each 7 year of work, you have the right at one year "pause career"... you can split these time and use it when you wish... you are not pay but your place at work is garented when you come back...

In anycase, the first month is enough critical... she need learn how work shop, post-office, shop, school, ... if you don't help her, she will stay in a jail named "home"...

Offline Elen

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To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....
« Reply #3 on: May 30, 2005, 07:46:13 PM »
Quote
So, if I have 2 consecutive weeks off, would it be better to spend those 2 weeks with Kate when she gets to the US or spend 1 week in Belarus with her and 1 week with her once she gets here?
 Does Kate herself have any thoughts at this matter?

Offline wxman

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To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....
« Reply #4 on: May 30, 2005, 07:53:12 PM »
I will be in the same boat as you in September. I have talked to my fiancee, and she feels more comfortable with me going to Ukraine for a few days and then bringing her back to America. She has never travelled by plane outside of Ukraine, and she is really nervous going through the big airports and through US customs by herself. I can only get 2 weeks off, so she is aware of that. Discuss it with her, as going there to pick her up and going through customs may really help her out a lot more than you think. She is also aware that I work rotating shifts, and can not take off of work at the drop of a hat. The key is communication. I have saved up over 6 weeks of vacation, so I will use most of it taking a week off each month after she arrives. Luckily her daughter will be here too, and they are very close, so they will also keep themselves busy as there are many parks/stores within walking distance.
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Offline BC

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To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....
« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2005, 03:48:53 AM »
Being self employed working from home it was still tough. I could not begin count the hours of lost productivity (and corresponding income).  It's part of the 'hidden' costs related to this venture. Be prepared.

Offline Todd

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To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....
« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2005, 03:51:34 AM »
An excellent question Elen...Kate's feelings on the matter is that she would like to come as soon as her thesis is completed.  The problem is that this date is still a bit hazy.  Even after she completes her final defense, there could still be some unanticipated delays.  Thus, I really wouldn't want to apply for a visa until this process is completed.  Unless someone knows of a quicker way to obtain a visa, I used expidited service with Passport Express plus paid extra money for quicker service with the Belarusian embassy and that process took 2 weeks.  Generally, I always assume that I will get the visa, but I'm a little more cautious right now due to the political situation right now in Belarus.  Has anyone had any recent problems post demonstrations of obtaining a visa to Belarus?  Kate hasn't talked to her granny or mother about this yet, which is the extent of her family.

Offline Bruce

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To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....
« Reply #7 on: May 31, 2005, 06:33:44 AM »
See if she could get out sooner rather than later.  Degrees can be forwarded to her once issued.  If you / she are really worried about them just get a certified copy sent here.  It is in your interest to have as much time together initially as possible.  Therefore, work out whatever kinks you can to get her here sooner rather than later.  My wife spoke excellent English prior to coming here.  She got top 90 percentile when she took her TOFEL within six months of coming here just showing up to take the exam.  I only needed two weeks off to be with her / show her the ropes when she arrived - and I live in Brooklyn, New York with primarily Ukrainian (many FSU) neighbors within one mile of Brighton Beach, where my wife likes to walk to three times a week for the ethnic foods she misses.  The best thing you can do is let your wife to be call home as often as she needs to and be with her for as long as you can when she gets here initially.  If she does not speak / understand English well and is younger than 25 I would suggest you need to spend at least one month with her. 
"A word is dead when it is said, some say.  I say it just begins to live that day."  Emily Dickinson

Offline Todd

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To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....
« Reply #8 on: May 31, 2005, 11:28:29 AM »
Hi all,

A little more about Kate and the situation she is moving into.  Kate is 25 and speaks excellent English.  Certainly, she speaks more correctly than I ever will.  Living in Boston, I don't own a car and am about a 10 minute walk to the closest T-stop and about a 20 minute walk to Harvard Sq.. 

I live in a large studio apartment in a building with roughly 100 apartments and a super.  (So, if there are literally any fires to put out, then she should be calling the super and not me anyway.)  Also, I have a maid come in once a month so things don't get to out of kilter. 

From what has been said here, I should try to work from home one or two days per week during the first 6-8 weeks and attempt to take as many weeks off in the Oct-Dec timeframe.

Also, as an update, Kate talked with her mother today, and she thinks that we should definitely spend more time in the US and not my coming to Belarus.

 

Offline Donna_Pedro

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To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....
« Reply #9 on: May 31, 2005, 05:49:24 PM »
 2 weeks in US.
Kaplah!

Offline catzenmouse

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To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....
« Reply #10 on: June 01, 2005, 02:43:54 PM »
[user=115]Donna_Pedro[/user] wrote:
Quote
2 weeks in US.


 I agree totally with this. My schedule did not permit me to go to Russia before she left and I still needed to have more time off after she arrived. There is a BIG adjustment period once she gets here. The more time you have together here before she is on her own the better.

Ken
"Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal."
-- Louis K. Anspacher

Offline jb

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To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....
« Reply #11 on: June 03, 2005, 03:14:14 AM »
Quote
From what has been said here, I should try to work from home one or two days per week during the first 6-8 weeks and attempt to take as many weeks off in the Oct-Dec timeframe.


Todd, I think you are displaying the proper attitude in this sentence.  Your Kate, regardless of how smart she is, will no doubt, be completely bewildered when she first arrives.  You should not expect any great strides in adaptation in 2 weeks.  Her progress will be measured in inches, not miles, during the first few weeks.

Plan on a year for her to begin to understand fully how to function in any degree of independance with life in these United States.  It's a whole 'nother ballgame compared to what she's used to.  The fact that you live in a "flat" in a high rise apartment building may be beneficial, that's probably closer to what she's used to.  Not owning a car may also be helpful because she won't feel pressured to learn to drive. This will allow you to ease her into a more simple daily routine than a woman who is suddenly thrust into a more urban situation requiring long treks to the malls or supermarkets.

Just remember to keep things simple and be patient.

Offline BC

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To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....
« Reply #12 on: June 03, 2005, 08:03:10 PM »
Maybe good idea to get her a credit card right away.. I was amazed on my last trip to the US how many people in line at starbucks whipped out a card for a cup of coffee.. has cash become 'uncool'?

Was my first trip back in a couple years.  I never knew ordering coffee could be such a complex deal.. The guy in back of me just told the girl 'he wants it black'..:?

Offline jb

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To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....
« Reply #13 on: June 04, 2005, 05:55:46 AM »
Quote
I was amazed on my last trip to the US how many people in line at starbucks whipped out a card for a cup of coffee.. has cash become 'uncool'?


No, cash is still King, however there are a lot of idiots who somehow think it's cool to finance a cup of coffee or a MacDonalds sandwich @ 18% interest.

No wonder this country is going down the tubes.

Offline Todd

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To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....
« Reply #14 on: June 04, 2005, 10:07:01 AM »
The credit card has already happened.  I got her a Visa card 6 months ago just in case she needs to purchase something while she is in Belarus.  I plan on introducing her slowly to credit cards, etc. once she gets here.  

I just want to thank everyone for the feedback.  It confirmed what I was thinking...Namely, that it is much better to spend time with Kate here once she gets here than in Belarus.  Thanks for all the advice...

Offline Bruno

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To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....
« Reply #15 on: June 04, 2005, 10:14:11 AM »
Quote from: jb
No, cash is still King, however there are a lot of idiots who somehow think it's cool to finance a cup of coffee or a MacDonalds sandwich @ 18% interest.

No wonder this country is going down the tubes.

Some difference here... associate with bank card, we have a system named Proton... a electronic wallet charged with money... used for little buy... since the euro, i use it a lot... with 8 type of coin, the euro is not the best for the pocket... after one day of shopping, you have fast 1/2 kilo of coin... and no interest...

This system is working very good... and little shop like it... no so much needed of little coin...

 

Online 2tallbill

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To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....
« Reply #16 on: September 06, 2021, 09:52:06 AM »
IMHO, one must always put home ahead of job.

+100


I was pretty well set up when Angel Eyes arrived. I worked from home and
she was more than happy to jump in the car so I would take her with me. 
Keeping Angel Eyes and Smiley Girl busy was my number one priority.

In my experience a busy (Russian) girl is a happy (Russian) girl.

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FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
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There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline ML

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Use of Credit Cards
« Reply #17 on: September 06, 2021, 06:43:21 PM »
Quote from: jb
No, cash is still King, however there are a lot of idiots who somehow think it's cool to finance a cup of coffee or a MacDonalds sandwich @ 18% interest.  No wonder this country is going down the tubes.

- - - - -  -

I have a completely different take on this subject.
But it's only for those with willpower and (un)common sense.

1) Never use a credit card if you don't already have the money to pay for the item in your checking account.

2) No matter what the 'rewards' attached to credit card use . . . always pay the total balance within the 20 or so days allowed with no interest after billing date.

I have never paid one cent of interest in my entire life on any credit card. 

3) If you have the required willpower, then use credit cards to their max when rewards attached.  I go for the cash rewards rather than the airfare mileage rewards.

Capital One has a CC that pays back 1 and half percent.  We used that for several years.

But now we use PayPal CC as it pays back 2 percent.

4) Minimize the number of CCs you have.  Two financial organization CCs are enough and maybe one Department store CC if it is used a lot and provides a lot of discounts for use.

If you have a business, use separate cards for the business and personal use.
Winston Churchill.  ďThe best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.Ē

Online Sailor291

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Re: To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....
« Reply #18 on: September 06, 2021, 08:01:30 PM »
Wife and I rotate between three different airline CCís depending on the mileage offers they have and when the last time we got a mileage award from them.  We never run a balance, pay it off each and every month.  We fly almost for free to Europe almost every year, either Ukraine or somewhere in Western Europe.  Has almost always worked out wonderful for us.  We had some very fun and interesting vacations that were very affordable.  Especially now with the advent of ABnB.  I highly recommend the same strategy to everyone.

On the same note we paid off our 1 yr old home 2 story 2626 sqft with a pool in less than 2 years.  It just takes will power and determination.  I have 2 cadillacs that we bought new with good ole US cash.  Now Iím retired and living on my pension and social security, not to mention the large amount of money we have saved since paying off all debts. 

I was one of those guys that said it canít be done.  This was my exwife talking.  Her problem is that she spent money twice as fast as I could make.  Just couldnít understand why we were so far in debt all the time, no kidding.  I was just too stupid to realize it.  That is until I married my Ukrainian princess over 22 years ago, while I was in bankruptcy.  Coming from a cash only society she was appalled by all the interest we pay.  She made it her mission that we werenít going to pay interest to anybody.  And guess what, she has done it. 

I am in the best financial situation I have ever been in and I owe it all to my Ukrainian wife that knew absolutely nothing about credit when I married her.  Baby she has come a long was.  We take fantastic vacations, cruises etc.  donít know what I would have done without her. 

Offline GQBlues

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Re: To spend 1 week/1week or 2 weeks in US....
« Reply #19 on: September 07, 2021, 08:14:38 AM »
It seems a lifetime ago when wifey got her first CC, Robinson's-May, IINM. $200.00 credit limit!

It was a start. The next step then was naming her as an additional account holder with my Amex - then as co-signer for an auto lease (her car), then of course, home buying...

Lenders help in ways that they're the ones that largely determines if an individual meet or exceed the proverbial 4 Cs, capital, collateral, credit (history), capacity. As a consumer, you can also manipulate your credibility, credit-clout, by understanding what creditors find/rate 'favorable' with any potential creditee/you. You don't need to abuse your credit privileges by using your credit wisely and with purpose.

She went and got her new car earlier this year. Audi gave her a copy of her 'credit' they pulled/rated her credibility. Odd as it may seem, her credit score base according to Audi was 860. Odd because FICO maxes out at 850. They explained it to her how Audi rate their customers differently from other lenders. Real Estate lenders do the same thing. If you take good care of your credibility, it'll take good care of you back. Because of this lone fact, it made it that much easier for her to make her case and have a strong leverage in her negotiation with the dealer.

I am at ease knowing my wife have more than a platinum standard regarding meeting these 4 Cs today. She has stratospheric credit limits in her CCs. She's got her 401K on top of two savings accounts. Before she reached the age of 30, she already have two homes under her name.

With her career being where it is at, and if she remains persistent (which she sometimes is prone to take for granted) I am at ease knowing wifey will be more than fine on her own if anything ever happens to me.
« Last Edit: September 07, 2021, 08:16:35 AM by GQBlues »
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