Slavic Women and Negative Outbursts?

[dobradavid]

392,
My experiences are the same as Jolly Rats.  Married for ten years and the outbursts never subsided.  Some people just love to argue and debate or express themselves in a volital manner.  It is a personality thing and not a Slavic thing.  This behavior can really wear on you over time, but to hope it changes, is not realistic IMO.  I wish you well, but think you should find someone else with a more pleasant personality.

A pebble in your shoe may be tolerable in walking a short distance, but unbearable in a marathon.  Marriage is a marathon.
KenC

Very nicely put. 

[cessna88]

Maybe she was drunk? In my limited experience women get jealous (slash crazy) in a situation like that. As far as I can tell a FSU woman admitting that she drinks more than socially is a no-no.

[Gylden]

392,
OK well DA to the first question,
In fact (joking of course) I read your original post with my wife and we just looked at each other and laughed! Then I asked her if she was chatting (joking again). I like you tried to calm her caprises in the beginning, but exactly as you have experienced it didn't make any difference, in fact as someone said it only made her despise me at the moment, however she said that the next day she would appreciate that I was so gentle with her.

Next question; how did we handle it?
I am in complete agreement with BF,Jolly and KenC about this being a character trait, however, we all have some flaws of some sort. We did not give up on trying to find a way to deal with this problem. I say we, because IMO it was a key factor that my wife was aware and acknowledged the problem, in fact in the beginning of our relationship, she would tell me often that she can react in a bad way. Both being aware of the problem makes it easier. Everyone will find their own tolerance level.

You sound quite well grounded, so I am sure you will make the right choices.

 
 

[392ihc]

Greetings  and Happy New Year!
This original post of mine continues to receive new responses so I thought I might update all of you regarding the development of my relationship with this lovely woman!  It has been three months since I orginally posted my question here.  Of course, I was very grateful to receive the replies.
I traveled to Moscow and stayed with XXXX for 30 days in Oct/Nov.  WOW!  It was outstanding!  She and I really hit it off.  We also traveled to St. Petersburg for a week during this time.  Like all of us she has a blend of very admirable traits and others less so.  Regarding the question of this original thread, I must say that she is more impulsive and argumentative when she is either surprised by something without warning or feels threatened by some unknown.  Hell, this is understandable to me.  I have learned since to give her new ideas in an email and not in chat.  This way she has a chance to think before responding.  And, when she "goes off" on something else, I tell her we need to change the subject and she has always agreed with me to do this.  This doesn't mean that she is non-reactive; it means that she is cooperating with me to find some middle ground where this is acceptable to both of us.   And, if truth be told, I can be quite reactive also....seems I left that out of my original post!
While I was with her the only new issue which continued to irritate me was her continued attempt pay for some of our expenses!  I finally agreed to let her pay for two nights in a hotel at the end of our trip.  And still, she was continually buying "gifts" for me which I could not stop!  Different from other Slavic women?  Damn right and I love her attitude on this--just don't want her money!
I am planning a second trip to Moscow next month.  Her birthday is on February 14 (Valentines Day) and if everything goes well, I will pop the question!  I am taking a ring with me for this event!
I will post on here the results of this meeting!

[KenC]

I am glad you found a middle ground.  Congrats on your relationship and best of luck in the future.  It was a nice update.
KenC

[Shostakovich]

Part of the art of relationship is the art of choosing which flaws you can live with.  There is that notion that there is a volatility about R/U women.  Not certain if it is true or not.  Oksana from Donetsk had it - called her little outbursts the tsunami in a teacup.  That is what it was: the storm rose and faded quickly, quite entertaining they were.  I think this aspect is one of the things that makes R/U women attractive to WM, though if AW ever behaved this way it would be utterly unacceptable.  Negative emotion can send you down the vortex.  Some people want that - but that is another subject.  Up above BluesFairy said something important - negative traits are just that and should not be excused because of some purported cultural origins.  On the other hand we all have negative aspects.  You have to judge for yourself what you can live with.  I can be pretty bullet-proof about emotional outburst as I understand they do not have anything to do with me but have no patience for power games and perfectionist mentalities.   

[Brianinaz]

I guess I have to agree with those who feel volatility is a character trait not a cultural one. My experience has been a little different than some other posters. The two women women I've had relationships with (greater than 2 years each) have been extremely even keeled. If not for others experiences I would have said that what I have observed was cultural; adversity had taught them patience and perseverance in difficult situations