Question from someone stupid?

[farmerboy]

Hello, I would like to know if anyone could tell me or how I find out from some of you guys who have married women from FSU, after they get thier green card and they start to get used to american ways how long does it take them to find someone or someplace they want to be more than with you or where they are at? and all you really got out of all of this is to pay divorce lawyer and her, and all you get is to eat happy meals the rest of your life, I am 45 never married and I live in southern minnesota and strongly considering going to Ukraine this spring IF things work out for me,, thanks you for any response or help you can give.

[I/O]

Holy sh!te..!!  I see serious possabilities for this thread.  FWIW don't get lost in the stereotyping or hype on either side, which is largely BS.  The first thing you should do in order to get some sort of handle on the situation is read as much as you can from the various threads here on RWD.  Start with the FAQ section.

All the best.

I/O

[Jet]

The correct answer is anywhere from 1 day til forever  :noidea:
There are guys here pushing the ten year mark and other who's fiancee's decided they didn't like the USA (or their situation therein) before the 3 month visa period was up. It depends on you and the the woman you get engaged to. The more time you spend getting to know each other, the better your chances of success IMHO (others would disagree).

[I/O]

(others would disagree).

Not if they have any degree of intelligence they wouldn't.  How much time is enough time? Much time is never too much ttime.

I/O

[LEGAL]

Farmboy As jet and I/O both are very experienced and have my respect very much listen to them. Jet personally gave me very good advice three years ago and my wife Olga and I are doing great. I would recommend finding all post by JET.  Jet told me  READ READ and READ some more. Use common sense.


LEGAL

[jb]

My wife has had her Permanent Green Card for 3 years now and she's still here makin' my coffee every morning.

[BillyB]

I am 45 never married and I live in southern minnesota and strongly considering going to Ukraine this spring IF things work out for me,, thanks you for any response or help you can give.

If you keep a negative attitude that things will end in a disaster, it will... or you will remain single forever based on fear a woman is going to leave you once she gets comfortable. If you are a good, kind, responsible man who looks for the same in a woman, chances are she will remain married to you forever. If there are some unattractive things about you such as bad behavior or you marry a woman without knowing her, your chances of divorce go up. Get your life in order to improve your chances of success. Yes, do lots of reading here to learn from guys who have their act together.

[Bruno]

Hello, I would like to know if anyone could tell me or how I find out from some of you guys who have married women from FSU, after they get thier green card and they start to get used to american ways how long does it take them to find someone or someplace they want to be more than with you or where they are at? and all you really got out of all of this is to pay divorce lawyer and her, and all you get is to eat happy meals the rest of your life, I am 45 never married and I live in southern minnesota and strongly considering going to Ukraine this spring IF things work out for me,, thanks you for any response or help you can give.

Sorry friend, i don't really understand your post... so, sorry if i don't reply to it in the way you wish...

- who have married women from FSU : i was married to a RW during 5 year...

- after they get thier green card : In Belgium, the card are really green... if i good remember, in US, the green card are pink  Ok, my ex-wife have receive her green card

- how long does it take them to find someone or someplace they want to be more than with you : directly after receiving the green card, the same day... but all was already planned before the marriage ( i have receive evidence AFTER the divorce )...

- all you really got out of all of this is to pay divorce lawyer and her : 52 euro for the divorce ( free lawyer from the work ) and nothing for her ( police interview from neightbourg have conclude to adultery evidence)...

- and all you get is to eat happy meals the rest of your life : nope, your get your freedom back... and next time, i hope make a better choice... these forum can help you to make a good choice the first time...

- I am 45 never married : never too late for begin... choose the right lady and you will know the paradise... choose the wrong one and you will know hell... Are you ready to take the risk ? Again, these forum can help you to limit the risk and rise your chance for the "jackpot"

[Mamma D]

My grand-daughter married a young man from Hong Cong.....The day he got his green card, he said "Good bye ...Been nice to know you".

He had moved all his belongings out while she was at School (she was a high school teacher).

He is now in L.A. and owns a nice business, bought with money he had saved, while they were married....

So, my friends the knife can cut both ways.....

Mamma D

[Jumper]

Wow-

what are you really asking?

a confirmation of how you think this all goes down?

a confirmation of just how pitiful RW morals are?
or human beings in general?

what you depict happens.
but-
it happens (and worse) also in your hometown every day between marriages within the same culture, much less cross cultural?


how long before a RW gets her GC and leaves you?

with your negative outlook starting out , and most likely then followed by overly suspicious and controlling behavior ..

about 95 days

seriuosly.

as on  a K1 you have 90 days to marry,,
and *she* can be sweet that long

then a few days after the marriage long before the GC she can dump your butt, file DV charges , and divorce ,
and then immediately file for a GC all on her own..
because of the situations in your failed marriage

and get she would likely get  it !
and far sooner than if she put up with some guy as a mule for 2 years to get her GC..
you see ? under current situations if she knows how to use the system..  she'd have no reason to wait ! and if simply using you , probably wouldnt.

well you WANTED the truth right?
 
(and that can be alarmingly true in some  cases)

anyway, for a completely different perspective-
 
my wife landed here,
with a GC on the way to our house in a short  2 weeks..
so she got it immediately.
I planned it that way ,just so you know.

and you know what? amazingly she never left me, or did any of the nightmarish things that you asked about.

In fact has done nothing over the last 3 years or so ,but  work  hard at adapting to here, and very hard at building our family and cozy home in every way,, emotionally, financially,etc
i couldnt be more proud of all she has done and accomplished.
truely an amazing person.


but i knew her well beforehand, and knew who she was.
as a person.
(not bragging,, heck lets hope most do know the person before marriage)

 I knew ,even if things went poorly between us , we would both treat each other with respect and the proper consideration  of people who loved each other.

so i would advise simply know who you are marrying.
 take what time is needed to do so..

nothing is fail safe?
but if you spend enough time with her,
 and her family and friends,
 you should be able to determine the type of person you plan to marry... right?

you CAN tell if someonme is genuinely a good person ,
 not by thier actions really,
but the actions of thier friends, families ,and yes strangers to them..

and a fundamentally good person isnt going to
 cause the type of questions you asked..


Good luck!

[Cameraguy]

Aw, AJ's just lucky that the long-legged puppy he found wandering around a Russki train platform hasn't ran away yet.    S'up, bud?

Farmerboy, I'll give you an answer that's custom-tailored to your question: 731 days max... or should I say Maxx?

~CG

[timothe]

Hello, I would like to know if anyone could tell me or how I find out from some of you guys who have married women from FSU, after they get thier green card and they start to get used to american ways how long does it take them to find someone or someplace they want to be more than with you or where they are at? and all you really got out of all of this is to pay divorce lawyer and her, and all you get is to eat happy meals the rest of your life, I am 45 never married and I live in southern minnesota and strongly considering going to Ukraine this spring IF things work out for me,, thanks you for any response or help you can give.

Please don't feed the trolls.

[dwfunk]

Hello, I would like to know if anyone could tell me or how I find out from some of you guys who have married women from FSU, after they get their green card and they start to get used to american ways how long does it take them to find someone or someplace they want to be more than with you or where they are at? and all you really got out of all of this is to pay divorce lawyer and her, and all you get is to eat happy meals the rest of your life, I am 45 never married and I live in southern minnesota and strongly considering going to Ukraine this spring IF things work out for me,, thanks you for any response or help you can give.

First of all you have to recognize and acknowledge that given your situation as you've described it, you are starting out seriously way behind in the relationship arena with ANY woman. International marriages bring many more complications on top of regular relationalship issues. Without a good base, the rest is doomed no matter what.

I would highly recommend Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus to prepare yourself.  Also as others have mentioned, read, read, and read some more.  This isn't the only site on the net, read the others as well. 

Knowledge is power.



------
David & Natalia
Republic of Texas / Moscow, Russia
УЛ. КОНЕНКОВА
16th World Spacemodeling Championships

[LTCOLBIEGARD]

Better not waste your time. Sounds to me like You  have already defeated yourself !! But, if you are asking if A trip to the Ukraine kick a$$ !!---- Full of beauties, great times, nice people -- well then get on an airplane , because few places in the world offer better prospects.

[jb]

I'm having a little trouble with the chosen screen name and location,,, "farmerboy", and from southern Minnesota.   Based on these tidbits  I'm assuming the poster is a farmer, lives on a farm, or perhaps in a rather small agrarian sort of village nearby the farm.   If this is the case, these are huge strikes against finding a sincere woman.   Certainly it's going to be a lot tougher to find one with a higher education and a bit of class and sophistication.  While many American farmers are quite well off by local standards, the Russian or Ukrainian farmer is dirt poor and many Russian girls will not consider living on a farm under any circumstances.   The RW/UW have no yardstick with which to measure the successful American farmer.  .  We must remember, farmers in the FSU are the last remaining remnants of the peasant class and have a long way to go to achieve a higher standard of living.

Most of the Russian women would visualize moving from a decent city flat in their town to a rickety shack in the middle of nowhere if you suggested marrying a farmer to them.   Perhaps we need to get some clarification on "farmerboy's" actual conditions before we attempt to advise him.

[Jumper]

good point jb!
Good to see you still here
did TG  vanish after all the hubbub??
(nevermind i just read the thread about it ,sorry for asking)


anyway -
RW not having that handy dandy "american culture "
yardstick is fundamentally a bigger problem in a lot of just routine life situations , than new guys might think..at least initially!!


CG! martin! holy cow , the ghost of siberia and vegas returns!
I havnt been around these board much lately  , and pop in the last few days to see this!! lol
Are you still going for work to Russia,
or even for fun?
married with kids yet?
(just kidding you man, but it's been long enough to be a possibilty)


sorry for all the off topic,,
but i dont think farmerboys thread will stay on topic long anyway..

[Cameraguy]

Hey AJ, good to see you too. I was wondering how long it would take you to notice my reply. Glad to hear things are going well, but I wouldn't expect anything different. (For anyone who doesn't know AJ, his attitude is 180 degrees opposite the OP's -- not too many guys would have the cojones to strike up a conversation with a statuesque Russkaya standing next to them on a train platform.)

As for myself, no wife, no kids (that I know of), no long-legged puppies, just a few tortured house plants.

Just got back from the Peruvian Amazon and Machu Picchu. Headed to [a non-FSU country] next month for a change of potential wife-hunting scenery.

(Sorry about cluttering up Farmboy's thread with chat, but like AJ says, it's been a long time.)

~CG

[START2]

Doesn't sound like you're quite ready or prepared to take on this venture at this time. I could be wrong but might be you have a self esteem problem. I only get that from the words you chose to open this topic. So, are you stupid or just not educated at this time concerning something you don't know about? Your only paragraph has you engaged, married, and the gal ripped you off and all you get is a steady diet of happy meals. Why eat happy meals? Butcher one of those holsteins and eat steak. With that attitude you can stay home and marry a gal from the next farm down. Have you ever travelled further from home than say North Dakota? How long ago did you happen to see the first dating site. Which one caught your eye?I bet you saw all those beautiful women and thought, wow, could she eally love me? You read all the nice profiles thinking this one and that ones really for me, then came across the caveats? So here you are, down trodden, broke and homeless. You're  not ready yet. These women will eat you for lunch. Are you a loner? Are you desperate for love? Do you actively date at home? Are you afraid of women? How giving are you in emotions and financially? Are you a budget freak? You want to make a trip and that's good, but have you contacted anyone yet? Take heed to what jb said. If you are pursuing a bigger city gal, chances are good she will hate the farm. Be sure to ask her if she's willing to trade in those high heels for a pair of muckety muck boots. If you can find her, we all wish you lots of luck. Also, if you decide to make this trip, be sure to write us a trip report and post lots of pics.

[dwfunk]

Perhaps we need to get some clarification on "farmerboy's" actual conditions before we attempt to advise him.

45 and never married . . . .           He's in very serious trouble already.


Reminds me of the movie:  2 Brothers and a Bride!       


------
David & Natalia
Republic of Texas / Moscow, Russia
УЛ. КОНЕНКОВА
16th World Spacemodeling Championships

[pappajeff]

Howdy Farmerboy,

I can only give you what I know from my experience(been married 8 years and 2 kids) and that of friends who have also traveled down this path. It seems to me the best relationships, or the ones that work, are those where both parties took the time to get to know each other. You are getting into a cross cultural relationship, so if you want it to work you need to get to know her culture and be prepared to help her experience and learn what is culture in your part of the U.S. I seen several ladies fly back home or leave for someone else when the guy did nothing to learn or respect the ladies background and also expected the lady to adopt our culture overnight. Do your homework on her, her culture and what you may be getting into. P.S. per comments on Russian farmers, Every Russian farmer I have every met is rolling in dough. One might think they are part of the Mafia.

[Mamma D]

My son tried to replicate the important things left behind.... and one was music.

So the first order was a piano.. and not any old piano...but the best as this was the main thing in their lives. Basil is a concert classical pianist and began at 3 years old! He gathers Gold medals....He still studies with a Russian lady, who lives in Glendale.

Irina also has a degree from the school of Music and is a violinist. Music is the center of the home...  boomboxes.. cd's, DVD's....It's all part of their life.

Basil played nearly every piano in Denver before the settled on a Petrof.

Two years later he got the longed for electric piano, that hooks to the computer and he composes Jazz and it writes the music...easier and faster than by hand!

Dick had her take driving lessons in Russia in the winter! And he bought hr a new small car and in six years not a spot or bruise on it.
If she gets lost she calls on the cell phone and is guided home again...Doesn't happen to often anymore!

Some of the men take their ladies and rents a golf cart to help then learn to steer.

They have some cute dos and don'ts, but, then so do we! learn to
shed your shoes, wish that were part of our culture, hard to teach old dogs new tricks!

I would tell you to go with your eyes open, enjoy the adventure.....trust your instincts and don't get in a hurry......... If you didn't find that special lady here in a couple of weeks, what makes anyone think it will happen there.

It took at least 7-8 (1 week) trips to get to the point that they were really sure...ALL THREE of them. Basil says  he fell in love with his "DAD" before his mom did! And they are a tight family.

They work hard.. TOGETHER.....and our boy will head west to Palo Alto, California, to Standford this fall. He is 17 !