The countenance of his wife . . .

[Admin]

I have not posted much lately. I've been a bit busy. This post is due, in large part, to my recent experiences and I should alert our readers that my writing this is intended for several not entirely defined (yet) purposes. One is that I need a cathartic outlet to place a few of my thoughts into writing and collect others perspectives.

Several times recently I have been reminded of the following quote:

If you really want to know about a man and what kind of character he has, you need only look at the countenance of his wife. Everything he has invested, or withheld, will be there.

I am genuinely interested in other's thoughts on this. Is it merely a trite quotation? Do you consider that your character is reflected in your wife's (spouse's) behaviors/countenance? How does one measure, or define, 'countenance'?

- Dan

[Eduard]

surely a man's character is reflected in his wife's  countenance, and vice versa. We all affect each other. But to what degree is entirely depending on each individual involved. Women with a weaker energy field will probably be more influenced by a man with a very strong energy field/character. A very strong woman is just as likely to influence her man's countenance.
But in any kind of relationship: marriage, friends, peers everybody has an affect on everybody, especially in younger age groups.

Just my opinion
Ed

[Admin]

surely a man's character is reflected in his wife's  countenance, and vice versa. We all affect each other. But to what degree is entirely depending on each individual involved. Women with a weaker energy field will probably be more influenced by a man with a very strong energy field/character. A very strong woman is just as likely to influence her man's countenance.
But in any kind of relationship: marriage, friends, peers everybody has an affect on everybody, especially in younger age groups.

Just my opinion
Ed

Thanks Ed.

I tend to agree - and when I first heard that quotation, I recall thinking that every 'wife' I have known who was vibrant and self-assured, had a husband who openly cherished and supported her.

Somehow though, this 'message' seems counter to the one proclaiming each person is responsible for their own mood/happiness. Maybe it is the difficulty of segregating the issues of personal responsibility/accountability for one's own happiness - with the recognition that others can, at least temporarily, have more than mere influence.

If one considers the affect of a positive countenance - what about the converse? Can it be said that a wife (carrying through with the same example) who displays negative countenance, would also be a direct reflection of the husband? If so, how so?

- Dan

[Misha]

I am genuinely interested in other's thoughts on this. Is it merely a trite quotation? Do you consider that your character is reflected in your wife's (spouse's) behaviors/countenance? How does one measure, or define, 'countenance'?

- Dan

It depends how you define countenance. Is it the facial expression, the look on her face, or is it her behaviour, the older and according to dictionary.com obsolete meaning of the term. However, I would say that a husband with a good character, will generally have a happier wife, and this should be visible on her face, in her facial expressions 

[Admin]

It depends how you define countenance. Is it the facial expression, the look on her face, or is it her behaviour, the older and according to dictionary.com obsolete meaning of the term. However, I would say that a husband with a good character, will generally have a happier wife, and this should be visible on her face, in her facial expressions 

Maybe I then extended the definition beyond what was intended. To me it meant more than mere facial expressions. I was thinking of the outward display of happiness - attitude - mood - as is found in their conversation and interaction with others - even the manner in which one 'carries' themselves.

- Dan

[Misha]

Maybe I then extended the definition beyond what was intended. To me it meant more than mere facial expressions. I was thinking of the outward display of happiness - attitude - mood - as is found in their conversation and interaction with others - even the manner in which one 'carries' themselves.

- Dan

I would say that in extreme cases a woman would show some outward signs if she was with a man of low character: an abusive man, for example.

[Gator]

I agree with Eduard that it is not just the woman's persona, but the man's as well, particularly how they interact with each other.   The same two people with different spouses may exhibit something much different.   There is a high degree of comfort, trust and completeness when with someone you love and who loves you.  Surely that is manifested in both "faces."   
 
Then there is the case of my American ex-wife.  I do not take 100% credit for her countenance - she sufferred from clinical depression.  Yet, I contributed something negative because admittedly I was not the best caregiver in the latter years as my patience wore thin.  After the divorce, both of us became more upbeat, me particularly so, but not to the level that my earlier friends remember prior to my marriage. 

[BillyB]

 

Do you consider that your character is reflected in your wife's (spouse's) behaviors/countenance?

Not so much in young marriages but more so in marriages that have lasted quite a few years.
 

Somehow though, this 'message' seems counter to the one proclaiming each person is responsible for their own mood/happiness.

I wouldn't say it counters. Whether someone is happy or not with their spouse, they can still be responsible for their happiness by staying or leaving.

[Eduard]

Just wanted to add that this condition is not exclusive to human beings, other animals exibit it as well. I have 3 German Shepherds and it is interesting to see how their countenance is strikingly different when they are all together with the oldest, very dominant female, compared to when the other two (a 10 months old male and a 1.5 year old female)are together without the dominant older female present. The difference is striking! They are yet different when one on one with me.

[BC]

Dan,

Do you consider that your character is reflected in your wife's (spouse's) behaviors/countenance? How does one measure, or define, 'countenance'?

Certainly a bit of this and that will rub off on each other.  That is as it should be.

We each have our weak and strong sides.. the 'trick' per se of a relationship is to glean the strong and reduce the weak by setting an example.

Expecting another to change by some external force is simply deceiving yourself.  Change can only be learned.  Those that are smart will learn by example, those less smart will hopefully learn by experience (the school of hard knocks).

Above all this rules patience and persistence.

[LAman]

  Do you consider that your character is reflected in your wife's (spouse's) behaviors/countenance? How does one measure, or define, 'countenance'?

- Dan

Dan....it all depends on the person/s. There are many that can hide was is going on around them. They can look happy when their lives are falling apart. I don't know many times a couple gets divorced and people close to them had no idea!!!!
One thing I have noticed....is a couple that has been married for loonnng time....begin to resemble each other!!!!!

[Donna_Pedro]

If you really want to know about a man and what kind of character he has, you need only look at the countenance of his wife. Everything he has invested, or withheld, will be there.

[/size]Yes, I know this expression. Only the countenance is husband's. My mom would say- "Your husband has put on a wrinkly shirt. Tell him to take it off or people will think you are a bad wife". So its a joke in my family now.  If i dont "behave", Danny threatens to put on a wrinkly (dirty, etc) cloths and walk by his Ukrainian colleagues at work, so they would know how bad of a wife I am.. Poor, poor husband, has to dress in wrinkly, old shirts..Nobody takes care of him.. (here comes the famous "puss in boots" look) please, help. I am hungry too. 

[JR]

Your wife's countenance was pretty much set long before you met and married her. Of course you, your family, friends and environment will have varying degrees of influence upon short and long term dispostions but she is who she was, (the same is true for all of us).