Not just another wide AGE GAP thread! It can be...

[I/O]

is there a rule somewhere that only allows the young wife to do the dumping?

I made exactly that point across town, but at least one particular blowhard, so full of his own importance and 1/2 as much experience as he'd like everyone to believe, much less an obviously very limited knowledge of what is actually happening out there, totally and or conveniently missed it.

[vwrw]

This is turboguy

(Ray, jump in when ever you're ready!)

I have always felt that people were too individual to really set any standards or to say something could our couldn't be. 
 
I see 40 year old guys and women who seem like they are 70.  I see 70 year old men who are younger in many ways than lots of younger men.  The defensive coordinator of the Steelers at 74 would be one I could name.  He looks and acts 50.
 
The question arose of what Ed may feel like and enjoy in 10 or 20 years. My guess is that he will slow down a little but not much barring any serious medical problems.  When I was on Jack's tour I would have been about half way between those two points for Ed and at the parties did more dancing than any of the other much younger guys so I would not rule out Ed still enjoying dancing.
 
Another topic in this discussion was do men dump their beautiful and much younger and wives.  I have a feeling it happens.  I would think most men would have a lot of hesitation dumping any woman that had uprooted their life to come here and did not have the support group that they would have had at home, still if a woman puts you in as much misery as some can you would eat your own arm off to get rid of them.
 
The closest I can come to any first hand experience that might shed a anecdotal evidence on that question would not be with a wife but with the 21 year old gal I lived with for 3 1/2 years when I was 45 who would have easily made the front page of any Russian dating site.  In that case I was the dumpee and it was a challenge.  I do think that a man would try harder to make a newer marriage to a RW work than he might with a similar marriage to an AW but sometimes things are so bad you don't have a choice and I do think a man would dump a beautiful,  much younger woman under the right circumstances.
 
 

[Eduard]

The question arose of what Ed may feel like and enjoy in 10 or 20 years. My guess is that he will slow down a little but not much barring any serious medical problems.  When I was on Jack's tour I would have been about half way between those two points for Ed and at the parties did more dancing than any of the other much younger guys so I would not rule out Ed still enjoying dancing.
 

VWRW, good to know that Ray doesn't mind you going on jack's tour to hunt for girls and go clubbing! Ray. you are so openminded!
On a "serious note", my eyes widened a bit when I first read this since I missed the "This is Turbo" sign at first.


 

[Turboguy]

Haaa,  Sometimes when I am home and VWRW is logged in I forget that she is logged in.  Actually I never thought about it and she was the one who caught it so we added the "This is Turboguy" after so it may not have been there the first time you read it. 
 
I think my days of going on Jack's tours are over forever.  I enjoyed the tour but am quite content to have that part of my life behind me and a much more wonderful part of my life here now.

[Muzh]

Now, if I read my husband chose me because he thought he could "trust me", yeah, he would hear about it.  I would want to know he chose me over all other women because he loved me, and didn't love the others.

LMAO
 
If I'd told that to my wife, that would be the end of sleeping together in the same bed.

[Boethius]

LMAO
 
If I'd told that to my wife, that would be the end of sleeping together in the same bed.

 
Told her that you married her because you trusted her, or because you loved her?

[Muzh]

 
Told her that you married her because you trusted her, or because you loved her?

Trust her.

[Boethius]

Well, I would concur with your wife.

[Muzh]

I know you would. 

[Daveman]

LOL.  Most women know there is always a woman who is more physically beautiful than they are.  A secure woman has no issue with this.  You need to figure out how to make your woman feel secure enough that this is a non issue.
 
Now, if I read my husband chose me because he thought he could "trust me", yeah, he would hear about it.  I would want to know he chose me over all other women because he loved me, and didn't love the others.

LMAO
 
If I'd told that to my wife, that would be the end of sleeping together in the same bed.

Trust is the foundation, is it not?  To trust.. that says more about one's opinion about the character of another.  Can there even be real love without trust? I guess an idiot may follow his heart into oblivion (as seen a number of times) but I believe that has more to do with self delusion and loving a fantasy than the actual woman.


So to say I chose my wife because I can trust her...  well, it's supreme compliment.  So, why, exactly, would that cause a problem? 

[Eduard]

Trust is the foundation, is it not?  To trust.. that says more about one's opinion about the character of another.  Can there even be real love without trust? I guess an idiot may follow his heart into oblivion (as seen a number of times) but I believe that has more to do with self delusion and loving a fantasy than the actual woman.


So to say I chose my wife because I can trust her...  well, it's supreme compliment.  So, why, exactly, would that cause a problem? 

Thank you ! I was 44 at the time, not a silly, naive kid. I could have easily fallen in love with either of my final few choices. They all had great qualities and beauty. I chose and allowed myself to let go and fall in love with my wife because I trusted her most. The initial "In love" feeling is temporary and can go away after a period of time, or it can grow and evolve into a much deeper LOVE. When she becomes the mother of your children that takes the relationship to the whole new level and you develop a very special bond. But if you don't have trust, that initial "in love" feeling has nowhere to grow and can just die as will your relationship.

[Faux Pas]

LOL.  Most women know there is always a woman who is more physically beautiful than they are.  A secure woman has no issue with this.  You need to figure out how to make your woman feel secure enough that this is a non issue.
 
Now, if I read my husband chose me because he thought he could "trust me", yeah, he would hear about it.  I would want to know he chose me over all other women because he loved me, and didn't love the others.

I trust most people until I have a reason not to and I have always trusted my wife and never questioned her sincerity but, in noway could I get away with a statement like to her either 

[Boethius]

LOL.  Wise man, FP, wise man.
 
You can trust a lot of people.  I trust my accountant.  I trust many of my friends.   Soldiers trust each other with their lives.  But, none of those are intimate relationships similar to a husband/wife relationship.
 
The initial "in love" feeling need not disappear.  Mine never did. 

[Eduard]

I trust most people until I have a reason not to and I have always trusted my wife and never questioned her sincerity but, in noway could I get away with a statement like to her either 

I agree, off course you don't tell a woman "I trust you and therefor I want to marry you".

[Jumper]

A rather elderly man was stopped by the police while driving around 3 am , and is asked where he is going this time of night?
 
 
The man replies "I am on my way  to a lecture about alcohol
abuse and the effects it has on the human body as well as
smoking and staying up late - sleep deprevation.."
 
The policeman then asks
"Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"
 
 
 
 
 
The man replies:
"That would be my wife"
 

[Eduard]

A rather elderly man was stopped by the police while driving around 3 am , and is asked where he is going this time of night?
 
 
The man replies "I am on my way  to a lecture about alcohol
abuse and the effects it has on the human body as well as
smoking and staying up late - sleep deprevation.."
 
The policeman then asks
"Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"
 
 
 
 
 
The man replies:
"That would be my wife"

LOL, good one!!

[Muzh]

Trust is the foundation, is it not?  To trust.. that says more about one's opinion about the character of another.  Can there even be real love without trust? I guess an idiot may follow his heart into oblivion (as seen a number of times) but I believe that has more to do with self delusion and loving a fantasy than the actual woman.


So to say I chose my wife because I can trust her...  well, it's supreme compliment.  So, why, exactly, would that cause a problem? 

Again, LMAO
 
Hey newlywed. You'll learn. 

[Faux Pas]

Trust is the foundation, is it not?  To trust.. that says more about one's opinion about the character of another.  Can there even be real love without trust? I guess an idiot may follow his heart into oblivion (as seen a number of times) but I believe that has more to do with self delusion and loving a fantasy than the actual woman.


So to say I chose my wife because I can trust her...  well, it's supreme compliment.  So, why, exactly, would that cause a problem? 

This post is quite telling Dave. Apparently there is still a large degree of the female psyche you've yet to explore 

[Eduard]

This post is quite telling Dave. Apparently there is still a large degree of the female psyche you've yet to explore 

evidently some of you guys slightly misunderstand what I'm saying here.
I was trying to describe a thought process. Off course I didn't say to my wife that I'm picking her because I trust her. In my own mind I picked her because I felt that I could trust her the most, then I proceeded with the relationship which developed into love. No, I didn't fall in love with any of the girls that I was chatting with on line and on the phone. I was just getting to know them. I didn't fall in love with them even when we went out to dinner a couple of times and continued getting to know each other. Then there was a point when I realised that my wife was the one for me because besides physical attraction I felt that I could trust her and we got involved in a real relationship. Then love came...
I'm not sure why some of you have an issue with this. To each his own, but I think that this way of thinking makes sense for a grown, mature person, particularly if he lives across the ocean from the women he is trying to get to know.

[Daveman]

Again, LMAO
 
Hey newlywed. You'll learn. 

heh!

This post is quite telling Dave. Apparently there is still a large degree of the female psyche you've yet to explore 

Indubitably so!     


Hey, I may be ignorant but she's the one with security issues.  Little doubt in my mind that if I happened to mention that a couple of ladies I dated were hotter than she is I'd be sportin' a very stylish skillet shaped head for a while.

[Faux Pas]

I'm not sure why some of you have an issue with this. To each his own, but I think that this way of thinking makes sense for a grown, mature person, particularly if he lives across the ocean from the women he is trying to get to know.

I have no issue whatsoever with why you chose to marry your wife. That's your wife and your life. Or what you would choose to tell her. My remark was tongue in cheek but, while we are "there", you could line up 25 different men and get 25 different answers to that particular question.


However, take it from ole Faux Pas the answer to that question is ALWAYS "darling...because you are the most wonderful and beautiful woman in the world"!


Pssssst.....even if she isn't 

heh!





Indubitably so!     


Hey, I may be ignorant but she's the one with security issues.  Little doubt in my mind that if I happened to mention that a couple of ladies I dated were hotter than she is I'd be sportin' a very stylish skillet shaped head for a while.

 


Your learning fast

[Muzh]

Hey, I may be ignorant but she's the one with security issues.  Little doubt in my mind that if I happened to mention that a couple of ladies I dated were hotter than she is I'd be sportin' a very stylish skillet shaped head for a while.

Oy!
 
Daveman, please don't take this the wrong way, but your wedding picture shows a very attractive woman (aka: hottie) and, for the love of God, I have no idea why the hotties have this insecurity risk. Same issue I had (have) with my wife.
 
One way I tried to cure that was taking my wife shopping for clothes and she would model for me 
 
My reaction (as expected) was very reassuring to her and it really clamed her down a bit.
 
Not to mention all the fun you can have.

[Eduard]

That's your wife and your life.

You're a poet and don't know it! 

[Daveman]

Oy!
 
Daveman, please don't take this the wrong way, but your wedding picture shows a very attractive woman (aka: hottie) and, for the love of God, I have no idea why the hotties have this insecurity risk. Same issue I had (have) with my wife.
 
One way I tried to cure that was taking my wife shopping for clothes and she would model for me 
 
My reaction (as expected) was very reassuring to her and it really clamed her down a bit.
 
Not to mention all the fun you can have.

Thanks for the compliment, Muzh!


Yeah, for the Love of God is right...  Amazing - to say the least sometimes.


Going clothes shopping with a woman... ungh! Man, that would be just about the ultimate sacrifice for me.  When I've tried that in the past and... well... I almost made it to the clothes dept/shop... anyway, when we got home, she modeled her clothes and I modeled some new tools (uh, not THAT kind) or electronic devices (wow, the innuendo in this post is unstoppable)...  I think there is a circle of hell named "Clothes Shopping With A Woman"... I guess I'll have to work on some internal associations...


Now, if her invitation were to include verbiage such as "Secret" and perhaps a "Victoria" thrown in there somewhere, I do believe I could assuage my aversion temporarily... hey! compromise is supposed to be good in a relationship!

[Eduard]

Large age gaps are not uniquely a MOB phenomena. I recently reconnected with one of my cousins who lives in Ukraine, and found out that he is married to a woman who is 30 years younger than him. They have a child together and seem to be very happy.