I would wager that her inner beauty is at least the equal of her external beauty.
- Dan
I will suggest you to install Russian television (you probably already thought about it) This is a great thing to fight homesickness from my experience. Lena C
One thing that I haven't seen suggested here is to either get a Russian keyboard for your computer or have her purchase one there and bring it over with her. She will want to access the internet even if only to chat with friends and that will make things a lot easier for her.
I think that you will find that the RW way of thinking is much closer to that of a western man than the typical AW. or in your case OzzieW.
Oh... As for painting the town red... hmmm... Looks like I've gotta get up there pretty soon
I think my enthusiasm for red is fading fast.........kinda back to a shade of pink right now and probably be stark white by the time you get your butt up here. BTW our home will always be as my home has been, the door is always open to most anyone anytime so long as you take us how you find us.
I/O
Dude,
I'll call first so you can put some clothes on! :ROFL:
Seriously though... I'm away again Thur/Friday and back Saturday... If you're free I'll come up Saturday (next week) but I won't be painting any town pink... Strictly hetro here! ;)
This whole situation is one in which I have to hit the ground running so to say. Time will show if or not I can pull it off. BTW any advice on this subject is very welcome.
I/O
even some words that are not in the dictionary, if he happens to hear them ;D
Wayne: What do I think about having inquisitive little hands around the place? Of course, I would be less than honest if I said I don't have mixed feelings about it. I am wrapped in the idea, but I have some concerns about my ability to become an instant father without prior experience. We get along well usually, although we are both cautious types. He is, for me, at an interesting age (3 1/2). In one form or another, although distant, he has been a part of my life and definitely a big part of my thinking for 2 + years now.
He was an only child AND an only grandchild/nephew. Ken
I/O,
Do you have any children?
KenC
I/O,
Have you and your lady spent a huge amount of time discussing child rearing?
KenC
If huge is a few hundred hours, then the answer is yes.Well, it is a start.
I/O
Now we are fretting over whether or not the wedding dress is just right. Gawd, whadaya do with 'em? :selfharm:
I/O
Hands offHmm I prefer hands "on". :P Dunno 'bout you 'mericans, must be an Aussie thing. :-\
Tell her you love herYeah, I did that once. You tryin' to tell me I need to go through all that again? >:(
Hmm I prefer hands "on". :P Dunno 'bout you 'mericans, must be an Aussie thing. :-\I/O,
Yeah, I did that once. You tryin' to tell me I need to go through all that again? >:(
KenC: Please indulge me to extrapolate your thought out a little further. This wedding thing is something that many guys should consider carefully. My reason is this. Many of us in these international relationships are "Second time arounders" and many of the women are not. Every woman, whether she admits it or not, does have some image in her head from a young age of her wedding. IMO women ARE entitled to a few frivolous fantasies for their wedding. This issue runs a whole lot further than the wedding itself, but many of us who have been through the marriage process before would rather just cut to the chase. When you think about it, perhaps that is not quite fair?
I/O
And I'm too shy to make demands or even bring up the issue too often.
Very true.
I'm surprised how careless my guy is about this stuff, and he's never been married. And I'm too shy to make demands or even bring up the issue too often. So I'm focusing on the dress - something simple cocktail, so I could wear it afterwards, I guess... :-[
Yeah but... doesn't the bride's family traditionally sponsor the event? My family is not participating and I'll be happy to sponsor my own dress and a box of Veuve Cliquot bottles for my friends if they come. The music I can do myself, no problem about that. :P As for the rest, it's not my money and not my call.Blues Fairy,
Basically, the wedding is for the bride and the honeymoon is for the groom. Neither side should discount the importance of either to the other partner. Hopefully the bride isn't as clueless about what to do on the honeymoon as the groom is about weddings!
Hopefully the bride isn't as clueless about what to do on the honeymoon as the groom is about weddings!
RWs are very different.
Basically, the wedding is for the bride and the honeymoon is for the groom. Neither side should discount the importance of either to the other partner. Hopefully the bride isn't as clueless about what to do on the honeymoon as the groom is about weddings!
My opinion is that the wedding is for parents and relatives, essentially.Nahhhhhh. Bugger the family and friends, it's our party to do as we damned well like. 8)
And we esteem them for that difference.Scott: In that short phrase you have summed up what the entire (Extreme) feminist movement in the western world has failed to see for so long. Men, do esteem women who are women and despise women who are half man. Hence the (Extreme) feminists defeat the purpose of their original intention, then spend millions on psycho anyalysis trying to figure out how to fix the problem.
The AWs really did think they have given their last BJ when they say "I do".
RWs are very different.
in Russia, the women still appeared to esteem being women.
A-ha, so that's what constitutes "esteeming being a woman". I see, I see. ;D :P
I am not a particularly religious man, but I woke up this morning understanding that, barring disaster, I have a little over a week of my freedom left and I was reminded of a comment from one of the foremost religious reformers of the 15th century. "Here is stand, I can do no other, God help me". :o :oStill time to change your opinion about getting married.........but would you?
I/O
Still time to change your opinion about getting married.........but would you?
There is always time to change my mind. I fly this tub with one hand on the pilot eject button. ;DUsually if you are flying with one hand on the pilot ejection button you are better off pushing it.
I/O
Usually if you are flying with one hand on the pilot ejection button you are better off pushing it.
Turbo: I am speaking of the "Ejection" button, not the "Erection" button. :cluebat: There is never a point of no return. Only a fool puts themselves in that position.
I/O
Turbo: I am speaking of the "Ejection" button, not the "Erection" button. There is never a point of no return. Only a fool puts themselves in that position
I think he meant 'Ejaculation' button, once that is pressed, it is a point of no return :)
Spare a thought for my last weekend of freedom. :sad:
I/O
I figure it'll probably be the last quiet one I get for a while.
but it will be well worth it.
Ken
I/O, just an idea... you might make your son a part of the ceremony...
Already programmed in. He is the same age as my God daughter so we have perfect partners....for now..!! :o
Well the fateful 4.00 am drive to the airport and return is completed. 2 Russian women are now fed and content and as I left them to shower, sleep and do whatever for a few hours, one little boy was sound asleep right where I sleep in my bed. ;D It was almost too cute to walk away from.
MIL2B was dashing backwards and forwards and going up and down like a jugglers monkey at the sight of me preparing food in the kitchen. She wasn't game to intervene, but it was funny to watch the mind going over and over. I laid down the ground rules that they stay out of the kitchen until tomorrow night and then after that I never return to the kitchen again. There seemed to be general agreement that was a fair compromise.
Oh, BTW for KenC, I have already had the berating that I was talking to her as if she was a 10 Y/O child. It took a whole 20 minutes to get that treatment. :o :D :D
Step one of about 500 million steps completed with only limited damage. :whew:
I/O
The 'picture' of the boy asleep on your bed is priceless.
A lesson I wish I had learned earlier is - keep a small digital camera close by always. There will be many moments you will cherish in the future, and they are more memorable with an image or two to help jog the fading memories.
- Dan
Right now I don't know whether to feel elated, relieved or just plain stuffed. :-\
How about scared? It's a fact that RW have been known to throw knives at Australian men. Just ask Oztraveler.
I/O,
I'm delighted to see things come to fruition for you,,, although having the MIL2B on board would have been just too much for me to handle in the early stages. You are a better man than me.
Just a glimpse of things to come, expect everything in the house to be reorganized to suit them, not you. Expect some head butting between mother and daughter as momma tried to guide from experience and daughter tries to make the place into the home she's dreaming of. They may not always see eye-to-eye. My advice from watching the interaction between my wife and MIL, stay low and do not utter an opinion, you'll live longer.
Get them engaged in shopping ASAP, you'll look like a hero and they will exhaust themselves and be content. A good Russian woman can shop for hours and not spend a dollar.
Find a new hobby you can do outside or in the garage,,, stay away from the kitchen. If your MIL2B sees you poke your head into the fridge she'll think you are hungry and go into a cooking frenzy. My MIL used to try to feed me every 3 hours.
If you don't already know how,,, learn how to smoke fish.
Good luck, my friend.
...RWs are fairly predictable, they'll forgive you at the end of the day for all your transgressions.
Surely they will be minor.
Thought I'd pass on the warning.
...RWs are fairly predictable, they'll forgive you at the end of the day for all your transgressions.
This is one of the many wonderful things about a RW. But bear in mind, though forgiven, it's not forgotten.
I/O,
I truly loved my MIL, she was a great personality. No one grieved more than I did when she passed. She was one of the most honest and helpful persons I ever met, and I think she really learned to love me. But she and her daughter, (my wife), could fight like cats and dogs when they crossed swords. You didn't want to get between them. I've heard Russians only fight where there is passion, believe me,,, there is usually passion between momma and daughter. My comment is not specific to your MIL2B, just an observation I've been through.
Thought I'd pass on the warning.
As result I have two list “Honey-do!” and “honey-did”
I/O, I am curious. Have you dealt with explaining the local wildlife much? I imagine, given your location, that Red Backs would be rather common for example.
or are you leaving that to the first time a local encounter happens?
It took hours and endless repetitions to explain what we do with carp in Australia!
That would be "European" Carp?.....I assume. Ya know there is actually justice in the world. ;DYes, that would be European Carp. Trying to explain that we don't consider that fish to be edibile just gets looks of disbelief.
BTW another Russian connected to this board (Not my finace' or MIL2B) fired a few questions at me regarding the "Stingers and Box Jelly Fish". I think she is convinced that falling out of a boat near Queensland is instant death.Ditto.
;D And............whether on not a local black person is capable of eating you. :ROFL:
Last night was spent until the wee small hours this morning discussing final details for the wedding. I will grant her this, she is quick to make a decision and she WILL stick with it. No mamby pamby BS. "Da I like that....finished...next thing"..!!!
Three and a half already in school???? You start 'em early in Oz, do you?
Actually for your purposes it's prolly all good,,, you enroll the little guy in school, and a year later you lave a little Austrailian on your hands, complete with the funny Aussie accent. The little guy will adapt much quicker than his mom. No worries about him, he's going to bond with a few chums and the urge to communicate will over power all else as he wants to play with his mates. Besides, at that age their little brains are a sponge, absorbing everything at a very rapid rate.
I envy you, my boys were already teenagers and up when I got them.
6) Momma gets a break to dash about shopping and exploring. (Which I think she needs)
There is a big difference between guiding, directing, encouraging, and smothering.
The thing which has come back to me again and again over the last week is that these girls love a leader, but NOT a dominator. I wonder if at times some guys fail to distinguish between the two. There can be a fine line at times, but generally speaking, I think there is a vast difference between the two.
On that note, I promised myself not to bombard this thread with photos......but seems a few guys are enjoying them so WTF...here goes....... :-[
This tells me you've got a good handle on things. Like KenC said, I'm enjoying your post and the pictures are great, thanks for sharing those with us.
I/O,
That little guy probably thinks he has died and gone to heaven.
Little'un got as bit cheeky last night and decided my name was "Ay"..!! His mother slapped his backside in short order and she didn't miss him whilst she was about it. For a young woman in today's climate, she has some very old fashioned values in these areas which are impressive. (At least for me)
I/O, maybe you should change the title of this thread to:All Good Things Have Just Arrived ;)
Sandro: I was actually thinking along those lines when I started this thread, but due to my perverse nature I thought I'd put a slightly 'nother spin on it and then let it develop.Naah, you don't fool me for a moment, when you started this they had NOT arrived yet, and you were £!*$#ing in your pants that things could turn out unexpectedly different, cold reality and all that.
Naah, you don't fool me for a moment, when you started this they had NOT arrived yet, and you were £!*$#ing in your pants that things could turn out unexpectedly different, cold reality and all that.
I am REALLY glad for you they didn't ;).
Pray for me guys. Two Russian women have been set loose in the "Magazine" with a pocket full of cash and a trolley. It will be most interesting to observe the results. :-\ (I did add a few obligitory items to the list but........)I/O.
I/O
I/O,
I have noted from far back the short term thinking of "We need this today" without plans for tomorrow and I suspected that would be difficult adjustment in her thinking. It will be, but she will get there. They really do struggle with the idea of having the home freezer fully stocked. MIL2B slightly less so than daughter.
The new guys need to be aware that these matters don't come easy for these girls. But they DO try and I have long said I can forgive a million nuances for someone who will try. So many little things are so different for them. .
I/O
Just word word of advice from one who is still recovering from this sweekend's experience: NEVER go shopping for bras with your RW. You will never understand how they measure for those things anyway, and to try to translate the American numbering system and method of measurement into Russian is a hopeless and dangerous prospect.Scott!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:wallbash:
Just word word of advice from one who is still recovering from this sweekend's experience: NEVER go shopping for bras with your RW. You will never understand how they measure for those things anyway, and to try to translate the American numbering system and method of measurement into Russian is a hopeless and dangerous prospect.
:wallbash:
Scott!!!!!!!!!!!!!... and most important #2 I go into the dressing room!Depending of course on the relative dimensions of the dressing room and ... ;)
I don't know Scott, when I go to Victoria's Secrete with Lena, I always leave a happy man!
KenC
Not meaning to get too personal here, but unfortunately, most stores only carry up to a D cup size and these usually come with a "BBW" girth while my wife is fairly thin around the chest, and you all know how RW can be when they are frustrated. I agree that the next stop is a specialty store and I need to learn the appropriate Russian words to properly explain everything.
I'm very happy for you KenC, but I personally prefer to watch her take such things off, not try them on. :P
Lena will literally go to the grocery store and purchase just what she plans for that night's dinner.I muted this arguement to an extent when I suggested if she didn't want to buy more now, she could walk to buy whatever tomorrow. She thought that was a great idea for a few moments and then considered the reality. Her agreement to walk was quickly withdrawn and the trolley stocked to more appropriate levels. ;D
Three weeks into this and there is plenty of passion...!!! Yeah take that a couple of ways...!! Two Taureans together...go figure...!! ;D However it is all good and even the disagreements (Of which there has always been many) bring us closer together.
There was something very early on during communications that told me this was a very special lady. I have had this confirmed many times during the past 2 + years, but more and more I am seeing the things which clued me in that she was a special one. Mainly that she is tough enough to put up with me and that is no easy task. For all the fun, romance and of course arguments and head clashing, there is an underlying kindness which I have never before seen in another person.
I guess most guys would say something similar, but I do suspect this "Underlying kindness" is something the Russian girls can hold proudly as being almost "Theirs and theirs alone".
It was really nice, if a little :hairraising: as I ambled outside early this morning to bypass 11 pairs of shoes inside the back door instead of my usual 2 pairs. >:(
I/O
Great pictures post more if possible :)Same here! Good looking family (and I don't mean the roos)
am enjoying them so much :)
"bout the only oddity we have here is the Jackalope
I/O,
I cannot help but to sit back and marvel about how well things are fitting together for you and your family. Such a breath of fresh air instead of the all too typical dramas we usually hear of here. It just goes to show that with the proper planning and proper preperation, this process can be a most wonderful journey. We are all very happy for you and your family!
KenC
"Peepaw" seems very happy with his new "hand" for cutting the lower 40.
Very wise words. It is extremely difficult, but worth it.
The sober note I would advise anyone that if you discount factors such as cross culture, language and age difference you are a fool. These things require a lot of time and a LOT of work to deal with. I suspect they always will.
You mean you were that tiny once? Wow!
the "Managers" chair is about 40 odd years old, go figure who the last person to use it was. ::)
You mean you were that tiny once? Wow!
I/O,
Good luck with this as Lena and I still have not got on the same page here. I grew up during the "Cold War" where everyone stocked up on canned goods and nonperishables. My parents would can peppers and tomatoes for the winter. When I shop, I always buy 2 of everything except for fresh bread or fresh veggies/fruit. Lena will buy (1) and the smallest (1) offered.KenC
Get this one into ya brother.....we were doing the grocery shopping this evening and without my prompting, she put two, yes 2 bricks of butter in the trolley. :hairraising: :hairraising: Maybe there is hope yet. :-\ :-\ :-\Nah, she probably is planning some heavy duty baking. I am sure the butter usage is only projected out a day or two at the most.
I/O
I might be a complete bastard in this respect, but I have been kinda handing out some tough lessons.
Fortunately she takes me with a grain of salt and all in pretty good humour and there is some flexing on my side, but certain things do have to change on both sides and guys AND girls alike need to learn to deal with it or they ain't going anywhere in this caper.
In all fairness and seriousness, it does highlight to me one reason why Russia has failed to keep pace economically with the west, the sheer waste of time running around to buy 1 thing when the opportunity exists to buy 3 in advance and save an hour or two per week. Compound that many times over in many aspects and it only reminds me of what I see often in Russia.....people beggerising around and getting nothing done.
Lovable her though they are, they couldn't organise a F_ _ k in a brothel. LOL.
I/O
In all fairness and seriousness, it does highlight to me one reason why Russia has failed to keep pace economically with the west, the sheer waste of time running around to buy 1 thing when the opportunity exists to buy 3 in advance and save an hour or two per week. Compound that many times over in many aspects and it only reminds me of what I see often in Russia.....people beggerising around and getting nothing done.
Yes, definitely much more efficient in the US where people buy in bulk and then end up throwing half of it away because they don't use it before the expiration date.Can't comment on Americans as it would be a gross generalisation, but I tend to use what I buy.
Go take a look in your cupboards and count how many cans, boxes, etc have been sitting there for months.I did, 3 small cans, all the rest less than 3 weeks off the supermarket shelf.
Americans don't have the time to shop every day but have the money to buy a lot at once and throw half of it away.Half? Wouldn't that be stretching the truth slightly?
Russians don't have the money to buy in bulk but have the time to shop every day for things they will actually use.That doesn't make sense and as mine and I have discussed, in many cases Russians are paid on a monthly basis, they manage to live for a month on that money, (I wonder how with some of the small salaries) what difference does it make with non perishable goods if you have a months salary in hand to buy a day in advance or 2 weeks in advance. The answer is that it cost 10 roubles or whatever each time to catch the mini bus, thus the net expense rate is much higher.
Can't comment on Americans as it would be a gross generalisation, but I tend to use what I buy.
I did, 3 small cans, all the rest less than 3 weeks off the supermarket shelf.
Half? Wouldn't that be stretching the truth slightly?
That doesn't make sense and as mine and I have discussed, in many cases Russians are paid on a monthly basis, they manage to live for a month on that money, (I wonder how with some of the small salaries) what difference does it make with non perishable goods if you have a months salary in hand to buy a day in advance or 2 weeks in advance. The answer is that it cost 10 roubles or whatever each time to catch the mini bus, thus the net expense rate is much higher.
Wiz made a fair point when he mentioned the task of actually getting goods home via public transport. On that point I agree. Scott, like it or not, the eastern habit of buying for today only is hopelessly inefficient.
Catz: Worry not, I have had several grains much larger than your pic dumped right on my head also. :o :o
I/O
Catz: Worry not, I have had several grains much larger than your pic dumped right on my head also.
the market was only a five minute walk from our place and I enjoyed the exercise and haggling with the babushkas over the price.
She has a big enough fridge, so perhaps that is why she buys for more than one days worth.
Looked into my fridge this morning. Two small cucumbers, a tiny bottle of olive oil...BF, you need not keep your olive oil in the fridge, it'll keep perfectly well for weeks at ambient temperature (thought I'd make you save some sorely needed fridge shelf space ;)).
SANDRO: Not to worry; olive oil was on top of the fridge. :)Blues Fairy,
Gator: I never eat bread. Luckily the world is bigger than my fridge and one can catch enough protein in the Moscow woods. :)
Seriously though, I have no idea how to accomodate my diet to the American reality. For me, a daily trip to the store for a small basket of fresh items is a must.
one can catch enough protein in the Moscow woods.
Good point because in Moscow I saw the largest rat in my life (maybe he just had a thick coat of fur for the bitter winter). :D
I/O,
I was going to bust your balls for being so melancholy, but instead decided to take the high road (for once). Best of luck to you and your future wife. If any man did his homework on what lies ahead, it is you. I for one have all the confidence in the world that you are about to take the best step forward in your life!
Sincerely,
KenC
and with wedding tomorrowOy moyte, is this apurpriate, then (the music, at least)?
MIL goes back home to Russia tomorrow morning and after 7 lovely weeks of having her here, I doubt there will be a dry eye in the group, including mine at the airport. I don't plan to allow this to be her last time here. One very special and discrete lady. :'( :'(I/O,
I/O
Just to add insult to injury, she is left to put up with me. More than any sane woman should be expected to endure.
What do you think about it now I/O? Was being single better than now, being married? ;)
Anastassia: There is benefits and drawbacks in all situations. Surfice to say, if I had really wanted to remain alone, I would never be here. You be the judge, but for me, no regrets about losing my single status.
I/O
Very true, Gator. As you say, the fact is that it is much more difficult making a life together with an FSU woman than with an American woman. There are many reasons for this, that include homesickness and culture shock. But the positives are there, too.
If a man is indeed “lonely” (destitute of female companionship), marrying a cross-cultural RW is not the cure. The cure is to fix what prevents women from finding him interesting or lovable. Otherwise, the same problems will emerge with the new RW wife, and perhaps sooner than later.
but for me, no regrets about losing my single status.
I’ve read it somewhere, and I’m sure we have all heard the old adage that opposites attract, however if you look at the reality of relationships that have been around awhile and have withstood the test of time, it is usually those commonly held values that hold two people together, not the opposite poles of a magnet.
The best way to approach RW is to come from an active single life. In that way, a man can compare two “positives”.
If a man is indeed “lonely” (destitute of female companionship), marrying a cross-cultural RW is not the cure. The cure is to fix what prevents women from finding him interesting or lovable. Otherwise, the same problems will emerge with the new RW wife, and perhaps sooner than later.
JB, your post is indeed like 10 commandments. This is pretty deep and philosophical. 99% of men in this endeavour will not understand what you wrote, but they will have to some time. ;) This is the best post in several months I would say.totally agree
KenC, why marry if you were happy before, if your life was exciting and not 'settled down'?
Also I think most of women would want a man who would really want them, who is really sick and tired of being lonely and who would do everything for them, with them, who would love them passionately and cherish their every single glance....I disagree with your here, dear. The first part (sick & tired of being lonely and would do anything....) sounds like a desperate man to me. And just why is he so lonely? These traits should be scary for women IMO. Are these men so desperate that any woman will do? These are the guys that become psycho with jealousy and tend to be control freaks. It could be rather suffocating to the woman IMO. Confident and dynamic men are never in need for female companionship, and are also quite capable of "cherishing and loving passionately." Especially once they find the "right" woman.
You're scaring me, I think you need to get back out to the oil patch
you have to be 'whole' on your own and marry a whole person too.
Don't worry, my next assignment begins in about 2½ weeks, back to Kansas for Christmas and New Years again this year. I'm thinking to try getting in a few days of pheasant hunting before going to work, we'll see how that shakes out.
Dang JB, didn't you learn about those Kansas winter snows last year?
I'm thinking to try getting in a few days of pheasant hunting before going to work, we'll see how that shakes out.
Also I think most of women would want a man who would really want them, who is really sick and tired of being lonely and who would do everything for them, with them, who would love them passionately and cherish their every single glance....
Don't worry, my next assignment begins in about 2½ weeks, back to Kansas for Christmas and New Years again this year. I'm thinking to try getting in a few days of pheasant hunting before going to work, we'll see how that shakes out.
totally agree
That darn "love thing" bit me on the behind!
I disagree with your here, dear. The first part (sick & tired of being lonely and would do anything....) sounds like a desperate man to me. And just why is he so lonely? These traits should be scary for women IMO. Are these men so desperate that any woman will do? These are the guys that become psycho with jealousy and tend to be control freaks. It could be rather suffocating to the woman IMO. Confident and dynamic men are never in need for female companionship, and are also quite capable of "cherishing and loving passionately." Especially once they find the "right" woman.
KenC
One can be lonely but not alone. And i suppose one can be alone but not lonely.
JB, Where have you been? Everyone (well, everyone who wants to learn) has missed you. Your post reveals the depth of the wisdom that you can share with those willing to listen.
Anastasia, I wish I were 50. :D Although you have a few more decades to reach JB and me, you are very astute, and I particularly like your statement:
That is why KenC and I are distracted by your use of the term “lonely”. Lonely is a negative word as it suggests a man who is suffering from painful heartache. I am single but not lonely. Besides having fine female companionship, I had many interests, and I was also busy with helping my troubled and troubling younger son still living with me.
As you advised, I feel “whole”, and I consider my Moscow woman the same even though she wants to accomplish much more with her life. She is young and has plenty of time to do that with my help as a partner, friend and mentor (i. e., as you say, doing “everything” for her).
Anastassia: ... if I had really wanted to remain alone, I would never be here. You be the judge, but for me, no regrets about losing my single status.
I/O
...a man doesn’t really know what, or who, he’s really dealing with until significant time is spent together. That can only be revealed after several months of dating, not sleeping with, a potential partner. However, I do believe that one of the beauties of long distance relationships is that for the most part the people are not sleeping together; they are spending countless hours in communications getting to know each other.
This is what I/O wrote
This is my moto! Why people haven't figured this out yet? This is the answer to those who say 'normal' dating is better than 'writing letters' or 'long distance relationship'. Of course two should meet later in real life, but there should be a long process of learning about each other without 'chemistry' interfering too much.
What is that? How should we call IT? Unhappiness? Incompleteness? Loneliness? Desire for something more? I don't know, I think we are just having a problem with naming IT, but we all kind of understand this the same way...If you are indeed happy being single why going into trouble with all this RW thing? This is just a rhetorical question.I'm not Gator, but for me being a "happy" single entails a number of aspects: being at ease with myself, satisfied with/entertained by my various interests, etc. and basically "at peace" with no major hassles.
This is my moto! Why people haven't figured this out yet? This is the answer to those who say 'normal' dating is better than 'writing letters' or 'long distance relationship'. Of course two should meet later in real life, but there should be a long process of learning about each other without 'chemistry' interfering too much.
There is always more time to know each other in real life then through letters and at times this leads to disaster.
And another thing, i can always see if i have chemistry with a man just by looking at his pictures, yes there should be many pictures, but i decide that without seeing him in real life. What is the big deal? Why should one actually SEE a person LIVE to determine that?
Simply put, the "chemistry" is more than attraction and words.Reading this thread, I can see we don't have the same definition of "chemistry." It's not a new issue; we have discussed this before.
While it's true that the mind can win over and convince a person that they should be married because the two are "right for each other," and while these marriages do work, I'm in favor of holding out for that marriage that has chemistry, as well as logic.
JB I thank you for your implied compliment and I guess my view is this, the long long times we spent apart gave us more than ample opportunity to lose interest in each other, but the opposite happened.
If you are indeed happy being single why going into trouble with all this RW thing?
One can be lonely but not alone. And i suppose one can be alone but not lonely.
being at ease with myself, satisfied with/entertained by my various interests, etc. and basically "at peace" with no major hassles.
Anastasia asked,Gator,
Good question. I am hardwired to live as a couple, to bond with someone else (aren’t we all?). And somehow my time with RW has been more interesting and fulfilling, and the connection stronger. After nearly six years of RW, I am well past the novelty stage and the initial chemistry stage, so there must be some substance to the “RW thing”.
I like your first statement and KenC’s comment says it all, “I was much more lonely during the end of my first marriage than I was after.”
So why was I not “lonely” when single? Being a man, I do enjoy the hunt. Hunting can be fun and fulfilling even if one does not bag anything. Please - this transcends sexual conquests. “Hunting” to me is the social interaction of exploring life’s possibilities with an interesting woman. Nevertheless, I did not want to hunt forever; I sincerely wanted to find a woman who makes me forget about all other women. I have one and my hunting days are over.
If one wishes to criticize me, one can say that I was too careful, preferring to live alone than live with the wrong woman. Part of that is having learned from my many past mistakes and not wishing to repeat them. I am not as bad as a couple of my friends who are contented with living alone as confirmed bachelors simply because no one is telling them what to do. They certainly satisfy Sandro’s criteria (good list):
an exhilarating sense of freedom to become all that I could be. I will always remember those times fondly as my rebirth as the man I am today. Quite frankly, I like the version "B" much better than the first married version.Ken, most of the above was my experience, too. However, I'm none too sure about:
Those that grow and learn from the experience are much more in demand from the opposite sex.Many women seem to lose interest, once they see their "mother's/Florence Nightingale's" instinct is not really applicable ;).
Ken, most of the above was my experience, too. However, I'm none too sure about:Many women seem to lose interest, once they see their "mother's/Florence Nightingale's" instinct is not really applicable ;).Sandro,
While I'm sure you missed the physical intimacy, didn't it become secondary to the love that was growing between you?Yes of course....!!! And we now have plenty of opportunity to make up for any lost time. (If in fact it could be called lost time) ;D I would say that we were never particularly concious of what we were doing (Working on other aspects of our relationship) but rather followed our natural desire to spend time together by whatever means available. Much of that was SMS and in this way we simply became more and more part of each other's daily routine lives. In this respect, not much has changed now. (Please exuse me whilst I resist the urge to strangle and answer another SMS) >:(
you and your new family have a decent shot at long term successHowever, that is exactly what it is, "A Shot" and nothing is ever certain. I recall a comment you made sometime back which eluded to the fact there is no certainties, but rather the opportunity to work hard together to give yourselves the best opportunity. IMO to many people fall into the trap of being married and believing the future is certain. (I probably did that the first time around years back also)
you've already weathered the biggest storm you are likely to face.I'll let my jury remain "Out" on this one. I sincerely hope you are correct, and if so, then we are looking forward to some fairly pleasant times as that storm was what it was, but it was not all that difficult in the bigger scheme of things.
KenC: A summary of your comments might read, "Get your phriggen act together as a man and then you just might be ready for a wife. To rely on getting a wife to fix your problems is a recipe for disaster".Yeah, that does about sum things up.
The truly well rounded man..................................is a result of a Russian woman doing the bulk of the cooking.......go figure.
I/O,
It was not my intention to stir up the pot when I posted up thread
sorry i'm so late to the party,,AJ: We have duely, as is tradition, kept the top tier of the cake only to be consumed upon birth of the first child. I hope there is good preservative in the cake as that could be quite a while. (Not for the want of practice BTW) Consider yourself, along with all others here invited to the party when the time comes. 8) 8)
is all the cake gone? ;)
AJ: We have duely, as is tradition, kept the top tier of the cake only to be consumed upon birth of the first child. I hope there is good preservative in the cake as that could be quite a while. (Not for the want of practice BTW) Consider yourself, along with all others here invited to the party when the time comes. 8) 8)I/O,
I/O
I/O,
Go with the American tradition and eat that sucker on your one year anniversary!KenC
Whilst driving to a meeting yesterday I was curtly reminded (By guess who) that it had been a month to the day since our wedding. :o :o :o And................the skeptics said it wouldn't last. :-\ :-\ :-\I guess that makes you an "OMB"?
I/O
I guess that makes you an "OMB"?
:ROFL: :ROFL: :ROFL: :ROFL:
I/O
How about an update on your darts and laurels of wedded bliss to a RW? Anymore learning curves?
I/O,
Just get yourself some rolls of foam and lots of duct tape and wrap that car in a cocoon of protection because I guarantee she will be running into things with it on occasion. I hope you had the sense to buy her something left over from the Demolition Derby and nothing of value!
:ROFL: :ROFL: :ROFL:
KenC (Been there done that)
I/O
You're already complaining about the things you can't do anything about
I/O, are you sure you put comas in right places?The right place for comas is a hospital ICU ;).
The right place for comas is a hospital ICU ;).
yeah, and that's why the spell checker didn't catch it. ;DIt also cannot catch misplaced it'ss, some members have problems with homophones and parahomophones (advice/advise) ;).
I/O, are you sure you put commas in right places? ;)
I've never thought, even from the first time I bumped into my now wife, all that time ago, this was a particularly sane or intelligent pursuit to embark upon. I remain true to that conviction but it is indeed very pleasant, at least for us.
It will be most interesting for me to observe from the sidelines, a much “older and wiser” woman returning to her motherland.
Definitely a stronger and IMO, when I look back at early photos, some of which are up thread, prettier woman who will return to family and friends.
I observed the same in my wife. She and I have discussed it, and she thinks I am BSing her.
My theory is that her life is less stressful today than years ago. This happiness relaxes her beauty lines, plus allows her inner beauty to come out and soften her aura, imparting a luminous glow. A deeper feeling of love does that as well.
Everyone, even RW beauties, have imperfections, however minute. I believe if one truly loves his woman, he will not notice imperfections and instead see only her as the person he loves, especially what is special about her.
Almost 2 years since her final permanent arrival and the better part of 3 years since my last visit to Russia, we are now just 3 weeks out from departure. I had quite an update written here but thanks to upload speed or lack thereof, it was lost (twice) thus the short version now.
It will be most interesting for me to observe from the sidelines, a much “older and wiser” woman returning to her motherland. Given all goes to plan, I will be in Russia around 3 weeks and she will be in Russia around 5 weeks. Definitely a stronger and IMO, when I look back at early photos, some of which are up thread, prettier woman who will return to family and friends.
I/O
Your wife looks very young. I'd say late 20's - early 30's. And there is a pretty big age difference between you two, right?...
My theory is that her life is less stressful today than years ago. This happiness relaxes her beauty lines, plus allows her inner beauty to come out and soften her aura, imparting a luminous glow. A deeper feeling of love does that as well.
Oooops, you sound like a babushka. I can envision you now - sitting on a bench in front of your apartment, chewing sunflower seeds, stockings rolled down below your knees, and topped off by a very bad hairdo.
We know such is not you, so why the catty comment? Yes, there is an obvious age difference. It does not appear to bother Mrs. I/O. Russians I know usually do not put their noses in other people's private lives.
she told me that now she has "garmins of happiness." (Translation: hormones of happiness :)Groove, if you can bottle and sell them, you'll both make a FORTUNE ;D.
Thanks for the update Mat. She is lovely, and the two of you look great together.
Best wishes for the future.
- Dan
Oooops, you sound like a babushka.
Notwithstanding our distinct lack of romanticism early on and our pointed effort to focus on the practicalities, I still feel Mrs I/O was a little starry eyed at the outset. This was something I had to manage to some extent and of course it produced it's share of fireworks (Neither of us is renown for taking a backwards step).
You sound surprised... I thought it was already established that I'm old and bitter?... :P
Gator, you are being unfair..... I believe no cattiness was implied. Mrs. I/O does look remarkably young and I believe that was meant as a compliment.
I probably am too sensitive because I am in a May-December marriage.
Humm, May-December? How bout we call it May-October. May-December sounds too much like we are a few days away from needing a thread about picking out undertakers and headstones.
I/O that's a madly beautiful wedding photo, where was it taken?
In Au.that's kinda obvious :rolleyes2: au is big
I/O
that's kinda obvious :rolleyes2: au is big
A bit more than a couple of weeks before we fly out and "she" is packing. The allowance in total is 66 KG / 3 check in luggage plus 21 KG / 3 hand luggage = total 87 KG (192 LB). It would seem 82 KG in gifts and .......... for clothes. :wallbash:
I/O
F/P: Sushi was my big surprise in Russia years back when I first visited.
C/D: I certainly do remember you. Apparently things are on the up and up for you. Just a word of advice for you personally if memory is serving me correctly, you'll do a lot of walking in St Pete.
Omsk is my pace, although I acknowledge the benefits and attractions of many others.
I/O
how much walking can you do in 3 days :P
Clearly, you have much to learn about RW. ;)
I/O
Yer got yourself a winner there. I/OConstruction work was never so visually appealling. 8)
building a porch there?Demolition of a horrid old external store room (and then some). Construction will be something like an enclosed patio area to house a Jacuzzi.
Construction will be something like an enclosed patio area to house a Jacuzzi.
spankingNow we're talking. :devilish:
Thanks for sharing.Welcome.
You are a happy man.You're right 'bout that. I suspect by your upbeat posts over recent months you might say likewise.
I will use your photo with the lawnmower as an example for my turfYou might have some water to add to the grass which is more than we have right now. Climate change or no, drought is drought is drought. BTW, don't push the involvement outdoors or with other maintenance, it will come (I didn't think it would) of its own accord in due course. Let it be so to say.
(don't you have Mexicans in OZ?).Ask me about this privately sometime. :o
photo with the lawnmower
I/O has done good but my ideal woman can push a lawnmower, perform brain surgery, looks like Miss Universe, and is a millionaire. I try to keep my requirements of a good woman to marry within reason otherwise I'd never find her.
Baby Maria born 00.25 am (local time) 21st January 2011. Photos in due course.
Congratulations, Papa. All the best to you, your lovely Mrs. and Jr. (big brother) I/O.Thank you. Mother and baby are doing well at this stage (12 hours).
Congratulations I/O, my best to you and your growing family.Thanks for kind thoughts.
Is that your first?My first, our second.
I/O.. I see you are truly living up to your moniker.. LOLAs only an IT minded person could say it (where's that friendly third finger salute emoticon when I need it most). Actually BC, I logged a profile on the old LL forum years ago as Interested Observer. Someone else nicknamed me I/O from there, I didn't mind it and have used it ever since.
Wonderful news! Congratulations Mr&Mrs I/O!Thanks GQ.
Girls are fun.I couldn't agree more. I discovered that fact at about age 15 and if you think about it, that's what has lead to this 8) More seriously, thanks for your good wishes.
Congrations I/O !!!Cheers and thanks for the "grats".
Baby Maria born 00.25 am (local time) 21st January 2011. Photos in due course.
You missed one flood, but there will be plenty more in the next few months inside your house.Apparently. :rolleyes2:
Photos below as promised. One very proud and possessive older brother.
I see she came with an instruction manual too!Lol, if only..!!
Lol, if only..!!The fisrt months are pretty easy. Just need to change the nappies and keep the noise level down. The rest is for mama. :popcorn:
my MIL taught the wife and I to bath our babies every night before the last feeding.That's the program.
Our second, little princess, would sleep six hours after two weeks and 8 hours by week four.Haven't quite achieved that yet but time will show.
Life does take on rather a redneckish style when audible lip smacking after food (milk), burps, farts and even poops are celebrated as significant events by the entire family. Usually means one may get a few hours of sleep soon................. :rolleyes2::ROFL:
:ROFL:
Oh the joys of babies! I've just completed my second time celebrating baby poops with a granddaughter though it is quite a bit different and more celebratory the second time around
I like the large screen image of Maria Anna.It's a large church with 4 such screens. Kinda adds something to it.............
Where is your smile with such a beautiful family?Trust me, it's there.
8)
This thread's pretty rooted (that's Au for seriously damaged or getting laid depending on intonation) as quite a bit apparently went missing somewhere along the way so not really worth reading these days but FWIW the ol' girl's knocked up again......................
Papasdolldaughter.
When's the new one due? September, or while I'm still in Australia?Due 14th September but - if history is anything to go by, 10 days or so earlier might be on the cards.
Already in training for your taxi business ;D ?The driver (older brother) thinks the fare rate is unfair.
The driver (older brother) thinks the fare rate is unfair.Quite justified, considering his steering wheel is on the left side - it makes overtaking much more difficult in your country ;).
you have winter now.This year's been mild so far (for the most part).
Lincoln Mathew 7.25am 27th August 2012 3240g or 7lb 2oz
Wifey looks to be in good spirits!Yes indeed - considering that photo was taken about 45 minutes after Lincoln was born. :o
Big sister still has a pacifier.She's a typical RW - total PITA at times.
Good house, good wife, full set of good kids - what else a man need for the happiness?Alcohol?
I don't see the big bouquet of odd# flowers in any pic's?They're there - just not in those photos.
I don't see the big bouquet of odd# flowers in any pic's? :oThe love and happy faces are more important than tonne of flowers :)
What's up?
GOB
...Happy family photos. Almost Irish twins (born within a year of each other). Big sister still has a pacifier. :D
What a beautiful baby!Looks especially good in RL green and white. ;)
I hope you won't stop at the presently accomplished and will make a few more of so pretty babes :DCue's in the rack now.
Is there significance to the word "now?"No
Was this Russian Orthodox?No
The ol' girl's knocked up .................. again.
The ol' girl's knocked up .................. again.
The ol' girl's knocked up .................. again.
coming.That tends to be the root (prolly only an Aussie would understand) cause :o .
One of the greatest gifts my parents gave me was four siblings to play with.To be honest, despite Boes apparent telepathic abilities, we were slightly (understatement of the year) taken aback as we weren't actually intending a 4th but - once we got our heads around it all, one thing we have both noticed is that we've rarely if ever seen a big family which was an unhappy family.
....one thing we have both noticed is that we've rarely if ever seen a big family which was an unhappy family.
That said, I'm not looking forward to $40 odd K in school fees for a few years later on when they all cross over together lol.......
I assumed your long absence from the forum, even for a man with three babies, meant you were spending your evenings in a rather more appealing way. :) :)That's the irony, I've only been home a handful of nights the last 3 months as I have been working on another project away from home. I did mention that if it turns up the wrong colour, I'm leaving, her response was classically Russian - "mothers know they are the mothers, fathers can only hope"..... :crackwhip:
That tends to be the root (prolly only an Aussie would understand) cause :o .
Nah - us iggerant Kiwis understand it too!
Congratulations and best wishes to you and Mrs I/O :clapping: :thumbsup:
One is driving us to our knees, how do you manage?Remind yourself - "this too shall pass".
. . . four kids is no problem they grow together and learn more social skills imho when they must share etc . . .
I grew up in a family of 7 children living in abject poverty.
There was nothing to share.
No good relationship between the siblings then or now.
Can't say I would recommend it.
I grew up in a family of 7 children living in abject poverty.
There was nothing to share.
No good relationship between the siblings then or now.
Can't say I would recommend it.
I grew up in a family of 7 children living in abject poverty.
There was nothing to share.
No good relationship between the siblings then or now.
Can't say I would recommend it.
Krystelle Rose - 06:05 15th August 2014 6lb 14oz (3120g) - not a great photo but at an hour old, I guess she's not expected to be 'made up' yet......
Krystelle Rose - 06:05 15th August 2014 6lb 14oz (3120g) - not a great photo but at an hour old, I guess she's not expected to be 'made up' yet......
Krystelle Rose - 06:05 15th August 2014 6lb 14oz (3120g) - not a great photo but at an hour old, I guess she's not expected to be 'made up' yet......Congratulations I/O. Don't you think its time for a new hobby? ;D
Dang I/O!! A BIG Congrats! Is this 4th?!?Yep - 3/4's of a decade married to a RW and 4 kids - did someone mention a T-Shirt... :-\
Does wifey ever get a chance to come up for air?Dunno - I told her years ago "just pull the blanket over me when your done" - apparently she did.......severally.
Well done, Mr and Mrs I/O - what a little cutie!!! :clapping:
Yep - 3/4's of a decade married to a RW and 4 kids - did someone mention a T-Shirt... :-\
7 years of marriage - seems longer........ :-\
7 years of marriage - seems longer........ :-\
Krystelle Rose - 06:05 15th August 2014 6lb 14oz (3120g) - not a great photo but at an hour old, I guess she's not expected to be 'made up' yet......
IIRC when planning marriage you had some concerns about age disparity.Yes indeed - I still question my sanity at times but then you sit back, take a little of it in and logic or sanity pales into insignificance....
Papas (senior) Princess....
Nice photo of the children at a Wild Bean Cafe!
Wild Bean is in the background. I/O took the kids to one of the most famous restaurants in the worldI've always considered calling McVommitts a restaurant something of an oxymoron but it is what it is.
The mother of 6 is shhhhhhhhhhmokin' hot surprisingly enough...
Not surprising that she became pregnant 6 times.
Could have been much more.
Not surprising that she became pregnant 6 times.My sentiments precisely - trust me, you would.......
Could have been much more.
I saw this thread in unread posts, and I thought "Oh No! Pregnant again."I that ever happens, she'll have some explaining to do - fixed that issue..
Congratulations for your anniversary!!! Say hello to the Slavic boss of the household.Just copped one of the usual "sprays" on the phone because the school bus is about to arrive to collect the kids, she can't find something and of course..... :rolleyes:
Why is education such a large bill?Non Gov't schools, other than Catholic schools are pretty expensive here - numbers thing I guess.
None are old enough to attend university.Don't even want to think about that yet.
Are you sending them to private school?Yes, so long as I can afford it.
In Australia do you say, as do the Brits, "public school" for what we Yanks call "private school" (private in the sense there is no government support, admission is selective, and tuition even for the elementary grades can easily exceed that of a state university).Here private means non Gov't - user pays although there are still some background Gov't subsidies to these schools. Not sure about the standard, it's good but it is the social / pastoral aspect that keeps drawing me to this option. By the time they are all done in todays dollars, about $450K..
You are the example others really should emulate! :-*Not sure Mrs would agree - she'd tell you she's married to a monster half the time...
sounds like all is well in your worldNothing is ever perfect and there is always ups 'n' downs but I don't regret doing what I did....
Nothing is ever perfect and there is always ups 'n' downs but I don't regret doing what I did....
plenty of breakfast time arguments..
wife you can tolerate.Sometimes......
9 years married today, 4 kids, ridiculous education bills, plenty of breakfast time arguments, usual sch!t, who said this was a good idea... :rolleyes:
What with you and Mendy making guest appearancesHoliday boredom... ;D
Holiday boredom... ;D
I was sure you were here to announce another baby I/O :DBill, I can equally assure you, that will never happen. Steps have been taken.... :tmi:
Great looking family, I/O, from Dad all the way down to your littlest one.
Great looking family, I/O, from Dad all the way down to your littlest one.
Mid summer in Aus...
If anyone would like to give me a sanity check (Gator and Boe where are you when I need whacking upside the head for entertaining utter stupidity), feel free..
We are, all 6 of us that is, considering a several week long trip back to Omsk in June - July '18 (Mrs and our youngest might remain a bit longer). :o :o
At this time, I'm still compiling a several page list of the things we could collectively @!#$ up..... :rolleyes:
"With four kids!?"Kinda sounds like a freak show doesn't it... :ROFL: