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Author Topic: Time for some Humor!!  (Read 474030 times)

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Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2525 on: September 02, 2016, 06:59:00 PM »
Maybe some asshole here recognizes his vehicle?







These photos could have been taken in Russia, judging by some that I saw:


Offline mhr7

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2526 on: September 03, 2016, 01:15:00 AM »
Quote
These photos could have been taken in Russia, judging by some that I saw:

In my city, the cops have cracked down hard on this kind of thing.
"After your death, you will be what you were before your birth." - Schopenhauer

Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2527 on: September 04, 2016, 03:09:31 AM »
In my city, the cops have cracked down hard on this kind of thing.

Admittedly my photo is from my first visit to St Petersburg, ten years ago.  Things MAY have changed a bit since then...  ;D

However, I did see this on that same trip, between Naberezhnye Chelny and Kazan:


Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2528 on: September 04, 2016, 09:15:47 AM »
A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.
After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked
"Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"
The rabbi responded "Yes, that is still one of our laws."
The priest then asked "Have you ever eaten pork?"
The rabbi replied "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to
temptation and tasted a ham sandwich." The priest nodded in
understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest
"Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"
The priest replied "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."
The rabbi then asked him "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"
The priest replied "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my Faith."

The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, and sat thinking,
for about five minutes.

Finally, the rabbi said "Better than a ham sandwich, isn't it?"
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline tfcrew

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2529 on: September 05, 2016, 05:59:11 PM »
   
 
 
 
 A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers,
 went on a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill Downs) to learn about
 thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon), but mostly to
 see the horses.
 When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that
 the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
 The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room
 when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach
 the urinal.
 Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and
 began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their little'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes. As she lifted one little guy, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually
 well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said,
 "You must be in the 5th grade."
 
 "No ma'am he replied, "I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I
 appreciate your help."
~There is no one more blind than those who refuse to see and none more deaf as those who will not listen~
~Think about the intelligence of the average person and then realize that half of the people are even more stupid than that~

Offline tfcrew

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2530 on: September 05, 2016, 06:04:46 PM »

Write a caption....

             
~There is no one more blind than those who refuse to see and none more deaf as those who will not listen~
~Think about the intelligence of the average person and then realize that half of the people are even more stupid than that~

Offline mhr7

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2531 on: September 06, 2016, 02:31:09 PM »


"After your death, you will be what you were before your birth." - Schopenhauer

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2532 on: September 06, 2016, 03:03:56 PM »

Write a caption....

             


We are trying something different with this years Cheerleader tryouts.
What runs through your mind when she says you were her one and only.
The girl who gets all her weed for free

Sally started with one and kept practicing getting better and better.




[/img]

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2533 on: September 06, 2016, 03:14:06 PM »



FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline tfcrew

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2534 on: September 09, 2016, 05:59:20 PM »




 
~There is no one more blind than those who refuse to see and none more deaf as those who will not listen~
~Think about the intelligence of the average person and then realize that half of the people are even more stupid than that~

Offline BillyB

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2535 on: September 09, 2016, 10:22:15 PM »
DEAR ABBY: I suspected that my husband had been fooling
            around, and when I confronted him with the
            evidence he denied everything and said it would
            never happen again.

 DEAR ABBY: I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it.
            Now how do I get out?

 DEAR ABBY: I was married to Bill for three months and I
            didn't know he drank until one night he came
            home sober.

 DEAR ABBY: Our son was married in January.  Five months
            later his wife had a ten-pound baby girl.  They
            said the baby was premature.  Tell me, can a
            baby this big be that early?  WONDERING
 DEAR WONDERING: The baby was on time, the wedding was late.
            Forget it.

 DEAR ABBY: I am forty-four years old and I would like to
            meet a man my age with no bad habits.  ROSE
 DEAR ROSE: So would I.

 Dear Abby: You told some woman whose husband had lost all
            interest in sex to send him to a doctor.  Well,
            my husband lost all interest in sex years ago
            and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline John of Hesperia

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2536 on: September 10, 2016, 12:49:02 AM »
Finally, the rabbi said "Better than a ham sandwich, isn't it?"

"Almost as good as bacon" would be an appropriate reply.
Old ain't dead, but it don't feel good getting old.  Pain is nature's way of telling me I'm still alive!

Offline ML

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2537 on: September 11, 2016, 10:18:08 AM »
Hey you AM complaining about AW being too heavy !!

Apparently there are many who are too skinny and have trouble gaining weight.

Oh wait . . . that was back in the 1930s - 1940s !!
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2538 on: September 13, 2016, 09:37:05 AM »
One of my Georgian friends posted this elsewhere

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline mhr7

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2539 on: September 16, 2016, 02:07:02 PM »
Quote
Utah Cheerleaders Feel 'Body Shamed' After Male Classmate Complains That Their Skirts Led to 'Impure' Thoughts

Quote
Last week, when a male student at Timpview High School in Provo, Utah, complained to a school counselor that the uniforms worn by cheerleaders on game day were causing him to have “impure” thoughts in class, the conversation could have ended there. But it didn’t.

After the teen said that he was distracted by the cheerleaders’ skirts and his mother emailed an administrator, the school’s cheerleading coach was alerted about the concerns, and 44 girls on the Timpview Thunderbirds’ cheer squads were told not to wear their uniforms to school last Friday before the football game against the Alta Hawks.

Thought this belonged here, seems silly enough.

http://www.yahoo.com/style/utah-cheerleaders-feel-body-shamed-190453362.html
"After your death, you will be what you were before your birth." - Schopenhauer

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2540 on: September 16, 2016, 02:32:22 PM »

Thought this belonged here, seems silly enough.

http://www.yahoo.com/style/utah-cheerleaders-feel-body-shamed-190453362.html

The girls can relax. Teenage boys have impure thoughts in a bus full of geriatric
nuns while riding down a bumpy road. 
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2541 on: September 23, 2016, 09:24:24 PM »
Jokes nothing below actually happened.

My exwife said "2tallbill you need to grow up!"
I was speechless.......................but then it's
hard to talk with 45 gummy bears in your mouth.

At the Marriage counselor's office
Counselor to exwife: Why do you want to get a divorce?   
Exwife: All his Star Wars crap drives me crazy!!
2tallbill: Divorce is strong in this one
Councelor: "Surely that's not all"
Exwife: He replaces words with animal names all the time!"
2tallbill: but not on porpoise
Councelor: What else did he do?
Exwife: I asked him to talk to the kids about drugs and he
told them if they fake a back injury they could probably get Vicodin.
Exwife: He coached the kids soccer team just so they would know that
he swears at other kids too. (as if I would coach soccer, I know more
about Goncharov polylogarithms and find it more interesting too)
Exwife: "And he neglects me, I asked him if he knows what neglect is?
and he said, Shhhh......... I'm playing a video game"


FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline ML

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2542 on: September 30, 2016, 09:22:18 AM »
A little bit surprising: George Bush Senior said he will probably vote for Hillary.

Really surprising: He said this before Jeb dropped out of the race !
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline ML

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2543 on: September 30, 2016, 09:23:11 AM »
This has probably been here before, but . . .
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline Gator

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2544 on: September 30, 2016, 02:47:29 PM »
DO I NEED A BIGGER BOX? 




Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2545 on: September 30, 2016, 03:06:30 PM »
This has probably been here before, but . . .

Monica was born on July 23, 1973, which makes her 43. She was 19 when Bill Clinton
was elected but I think she was a year or two older when she started giving him blowjobs.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline ML

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2546 on: October 13, 2016, 08:44:39 PM »
Monica was born on July 23, 1973, which makes her 43. She was 19 when Bill Clinton
was elected but I think she was a year or two older when she started giving him blowjobs.

I remember way back then that one of Monica's California friends stated that Monica told she was going to take her knee pads with her to DC.

Clearly she knew how to succeed in the world.

Quite shocking for a late teenager.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline jone

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2547 on: October 14, 2016, 11:49:02 AM »
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2548 on: October 20, 2016, 05:04:57 PM »
He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American
dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.”

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves.
Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the
Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?”, asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness.
Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them
all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.

The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, “If ya don’t mind me askin’,
where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?”

The Irishman replies, “Oh…I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I
could do it first”.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2549 on: October 20, 2016, 05:08:32 PM »


FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

 

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