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Author Topic: Samara Russia Trip Report  (Read 13879 times)

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Offline Boethius

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #25 on: March 22, 2018, 10:38:59 AM »
So in reality, to you, she is more like a female cousin or the girl next door who you have a good time talking to, but feel no romantic attraction to.


But slept with.
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Offline ML

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #26 on: March 22, 2018, 11:14:41 AM »

But slept with.

I didn't see that detail in this most recent trip report; don't remember any earlier one that he might have posted.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline ML

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #27 on: March 22, 2018, 11:15:46 AM »
Quote from: ML on Today at 01:36:49 PM
So in reality, to you, she is more like a female cousin or the girl next door who you have a good time talking to, but feel no romantic attraction to.



But slept with.

Kissing cousins are OK; right ?
Just for practice.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

drsecu

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #28 on: March 22, 2018, 11:53:41 AM »
I didn't see that detail in this most recent trip report; don't remember any earlier one that he might have posted.

4-6 times each day but I didn't typically initiate and I would faked a couple just to end it, it was a little too much.... but there is nothing much to do in Samara.  We just skyped again and she is great to talk to. 


Offline msmob

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #29 on: March 22, 2018, 12:50:57 PM »
ENOUGH...please .. did you write the letter ? You sure have time to respond to us !

drsecu

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #30 on: March 22, 2018, 01:09:57 PM »
ENOUGH...please .. did you write the letter ? You sure have time to respond to us !

Yeah

Online 2tallbill

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Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #31 on: March 22, 2018, 01:23:45 PM »
4-6 times each day but I didn't typically initiate and I would faked a couple just to
end it, it was a little too much.... but there is nothing much to do in Samara. 
We just skyped again and she is great to talk to.

You have a decision to make. Is this girl the future Mrs drsecu or not?
She's great to talk to, she seems to happily make sure that you never
suffer a case of blue balls and she must have other fine attributes that
made you send in that application which is a pain in the butt to fill out.

Are you getting cold feet because she isn't the one? Does she have
pretty eyes? because in 30 years whoever you marry isn't going to
be hot anymore and a girl with pretty eyes who keeps herself thin,
is great to talk to and likes pony rides might look pretty good.

Something is making you hesitate, hopefully it isn't just being a
sissy, wussy, namby pamby, pansy, scaredy-cat. Sit down, relax,
think about it and make a decision. Either this girl is the one or
she's not. 

If you decide that this girl is not for you, then end it immediately.
In the long run you are doing both of you a favor. She can find
the man of her dreams but not before she is done with you.
Be polite, be firm, be concise and use a few words as possible
to state your position.

Example
Hello ___________ (her name) I have decided to find somebody
else for marriage. I wish you good luck and happiness. Poka
Then go, you don't need to explain your thought process, or
that she isn't pretty enough. Just go away and don't come back.

If you decide that this girl is for you then ask the mods to put
this in a members only section and continue to pursue the girl
and tell her that you only need 3 pony rides per day.

Udachi!

Bill
« Last Edit: March 22, 2018, 01:33:48 PM by 2tallbill »
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FSUW don't do vague
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Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline Boethius

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #32 on: March 22, 2018, 02:17:19 PM »
4-6 times each day but I didn't typically initiate and I would faked a couple just to end it, it was a little too much.

I would hazard a guess she is young, and you are not.


But, it's good you told her.  Best not to delay, even if you know initially it will cause her pain.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline pitbull

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #33 on: March 22, 2018, 05:05:53 PM »
4-6 times each day but I didn't typically initiate and I would faked a couple just to end it, it was a little too much.... but there is nothing much to do in Samara.  We just skyped again and she is great to talk to.

Hmmm... maybe the real reason is you not being able to «keep up” and “deliver “ so to speak? What is your age difference?
Be the person that your dog thinks you are

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #34 on: March 22, 2018, 06:00:37 PM »
I'm not attracted to her to the extent I would want to commit, for whatever reason it is different in person than Skype.  She is an awesome and genuine person.  My gut was telling me to bail after a couple days in the trip, so it seems to risky to go through with the move.  I'm having second thoughts now because I like her as a person so much.

:) Exactly, which is why I'm not keen on Skype, I've tried explaining this to the peanut gallery but they just don't get it. The first girl I met we got on well on Skype talked about a lot, we got on well when we met but there was no affection on her part - biggest bummer in the world. Hence why I am now planning to go out and meet many.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #35 on: March 22, 2018, 06:11:08 PM »
4-6 times each day but I didn't typically initiate and I would faked a couple just to end it, it was a little too much.... but there is nothing much to do in Samara.  We just skyped again and she is great to talk to.

Possibly she is great to talk to as there's nothing for her to do so you're great excitement to her. Some girls many guys may find great to talk to. Personally I agree with you in dumping her on a Fri or Sat, but I wouldn't put it off further on account of the kids comings around. Dumping her on a work day is kind of heartless I think. I would just say something like you don't feel ready to progress the relationship on from friendship hence think its better her job stability/accommodation situation remains undisturbed. Something like that.

I think if you're not that attracted to her then I think that is probably causing the disparity in performance as no one can really be expected to be turned on when they are not.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline gaspar227

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #36 on: March 22, 2018, 08:31:33 PM »
It's important to be attracted to her that's for sure!  I'm 45 last week.  I've seen a few really hot women come and go in my life, and I've fought with them and for them every which way.  If you don't have it in you to fight to keep her now, you're probably not going to. 

From your posts it sounds like you were looking for advice and I would have cautioned against making rash decisions.  I mean it's not like she's at your house right now knocking on your door.  After 1.5 years, what difference does a week or two make to give you time to really reflect?  I mean even tell her you want a skype free week.  See how that makes you feel.  Can you even do that given the circumstances?

I would have advised you to take a little time.  Talk to a couple of other girls on websites, just to talk, and maybe you would realize why it is you spent 1.5 years with her.

You're so close to the 90 days where she can be here.  Seems like you could figure a balance out  -- if she's really THAT cool -- where she doesn't lose her apartment (rent can't be that much to cover) and you guys can have more of a no-pressure, we're going to the courthouse or the airport day 89 kind of thing. 

If it's the end, that's sad, but that's life!

Offline I/O

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #37 on: March 22, 2018, 10:28:26 PM »
Is it just me or is the OP a serial whinger? Sorry but I didn't see much positiveness in any of his posts.


I'm thinking the heroine is about to get her one lucky break.

Offline BillyB

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #38 on: March 22, 2018, 10:47:39 PM »
You're so close to the 90 days where she can be here.  Seems like you could figure a balance out  -- if she's really THAT cool -- where she doesn't lose her apartment (rent can't be that much to cover) and you guys can have more of a no-pressure, we're going to the courthouse or the airport day 89 kind of thing. 



90 days is what our government gives people to get married. They assume both parties figured out they want to live their lives together before the 90 days begins. Some people used the 90 days as a trial period but what if things go wrong? Guy convinces girl to give up her apartment and job for a 3 month test drive. She agrees but when time is almost up and the guy rejects her, feelings get hurt and it soaks in she's going back home and will be out of a job and embarrassed in front of family and friends. If a person wants to see how ugly another person can get, break up with them. Seeing big ugly at the 89 day mark is going to be full of drama with possible violence. I doubt a woman is going to tell her ex fiancee "Thanks for trying. Can we still be friends?"
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline gaspar227

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #39 on: March 22, 2018, 10:51:48 PM »
Is it just me or is the OP a serial whinger? Sorry but I didn't see much positiveness in any of his posts.


I'm thinking the heroine is about to get her one lucky break.

I wasn't sure if it was just the sheer dreariness of winter in Russia or the o/p.  But yeah, there was a definite negative vibe.  Maybe it was just that 'oh shit' feeling that comes with realizing you're stuck in a house with nothing to do and you don't really want to be there. 

And Billy, I was spinning thing positively.  You are right of course. 

Offline msmob

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #40 on: March 23, 2018, 12:17:58 AM »
:) Exactly, which is why I'm not keen on Skype, I've tried explaining this to the peanut gallery but they just don't get it. The first girl I met we got on well on Skype talked about a lot, we got on well when we met but there was no affection on her part - biggest bummer in the world. Hence why I am now planning to go out and meet many.

Trench

No matter what techniques you use, you will have the same issues ...until you change your attitude to ladies.

In the meantime, video chat is a great tool for most folks.



drsecu

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #41 on: March 23, 2018, 06:27:13 AM »
I wasn't sure if it was just the sheer dreariness of winter in Russia or the o/p.  But yeah, there was a definite negative vibe.  Maybe it was just that 'oh shit' feeling that comes with realizing you're stuck in a house with nothing to do and you don't really want to be there. 

And Billy, I was spinning thing positively.  You are right of course.

It was just intended to be accurate, useful,  not sugar coated like many trip reports.  Many of you have been there and don't need a trip report, but 50:1 the people reading post haven't, like for example me before I started this process.

I had offered to meet in Barcelona, before that Cuba (before the newest US travel restriction) and suggested Aruba (she would have had to get a Visa) but she was fairly insistent I should come to Samara because she wanted me to meet her father (which was about 1 hour of the trip).  Her father told her we were stupid for wanting to stay in Samara, and she was the one with the negative outlook on Samara.  She described the city has dirty, people are sad, and there is not is anything to do until the Volga is warm in summer.   The stuff we did (Stalin Bunker, Ballet/Opera, Space center) was stuff I found reading on travel websites and asked to go to, she had never been to any of them.  I went out of my way to make the best of things. 

« Last Edit: March 23, 2018, 06:30:54 AM by drsecu »

Offline ML

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #42 on: March 23, 2018, 06:49:40 AM »

From your posts it sounds like you were looking for advice and I would have cautioned against making rash decisions.  I mean it's not like she's at your house right now knocking on your door.  After 1.5 years, what difference does a week or two make to give you time to really reflect?  I mean even tell her you want a skype free week.  See how that makes you feel.  Can you even do that given the circumstances?

I would have advised you to take a little time.  Talk to a couple of other girls on websites, just to talk, and maybe you would realize why it is you spent 1.5 years with her.

You're so close to the 90 days where she can be here.  Seems like you could figure a balance out  -- if she's really THAT cool -- where she doesn't lose her apartment (rent can't be that much to cover) and you guys can have more of a no-pressure, we're going to the courthouse or the airport day 89 kind of thing. 


Mostly very bad advice.

Remember . . . he was right there with her !!!
He just didn't feel it !!!

Not a very wise move to disrupt her life more, and his life also . . . just in the hope that by spending more time with her, he will start to feel more attracted to her.

If it isn't there in 2-3 days (which it wasn't), not likely it will ever be.

She and he are in the category of good 'pen pals' . . . that's all.

I have a few female friends like that.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #43 on: March 23, 2018, 07:21:24 AM »
It was just intended to be accurate, useful,  not sugar coated like many trip reports.  Many of you have been there and don't need a trip report, but 50:1 the people reading post haven't, like for example me before I started this process.

Exactly right, I do the same, otherwise the way I see it I'm not learning anything and neither is anyone else. Whats the point in sugar coating it anyway I would rather it be a truthful reflection of real life and on this I think you should be commended drsecu. The way it's portrayed in this forum sometime is you put in the keyboard & Skype hours get to know her like she's your best auntie fly our there and success. In reality though  often we find the same as here - at least one side if not both are not attracted to each other, that they have a good friendship/good time and that is all.

I wish more posters would be like drsecu and give an honest account of the situation. Rarely is it really a bad situation or something that means that poster is a complete idiot. Unfortunately any admittance to any mistake or less than Stellar performance on here seems to invoke feeding time for the certain members on here.

I think your trip report will be most useful to those new to this game drsecu so keep it up! I think this is a case of letting her down gently in what you say just in case you later decide you were too hasty, but decide to do it soon if that is what you really want. Then learn from your mistake, get back on your feet, refine the process and try again. Even though it looks like it didn't work out this time it sounds like you had a great adventure :)
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

drsecu

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #44 on: March 23, 2018, 09:54:00 AM »
Costs.

Taxi across the city is $4.  Same in Kyiv is $2.50

Food prices are between USA and Ukraine.  If I had to guess I would think Russia is 75% and Uraine 65% of USA level.  Citrus prices are at USA level.

Trams are ~$.40 and Buses ~$.80

Gas is ~$1.70 a gallon, if I recall it was higher in Ukraine.  It must have been up a lot recently because the person I mentioned it to said they may be our cost soon.

Rent in her apartment complex would be $250 a month and the typical unit should sell for around $27k (Her's was $35k due to upgrades).  Note the ROI is pretty much a worldwide standard. 

There is a big variety in cars.  Toyota Rav4s and Nissan Juke's are over-represented by a huge margin compared to us.  The small Hyundai Elantra (different name there) is the most common car, what people think of when they think of a affordable new car that is good.  (What Americans may would consider a Toyota Camry role to fill).  I think there are more Ladas in Ukraine than Russia surprisingly.  Toyota Landcruiser Prados are what the wealthier people seem to prefer.  Sold as a Lexus GX in the USA, it is a little smaller than a 4Runner.  Every vesicle I was in (about 10) on the trip had a manual transmission, including the Prado's.

There is a lot of everyday products we use in America.  Many Fords/Chevy, farm and construction equipment, P&G household products, Chips, Soda, everything Danon in dairly, american diaper brands, etc.  Snickers and Kit Kats, etc.  Like Ukraine no peanut butter.

Stolichnaya and Russian Standard is about 75% cheaper.  They had Absolut (Swedish) that was about the only brand of imported vodka, it was much more of course.  Not sure why anyone would buy it over Russian Standard (?).  They had Nemiroff (Ukrainian) also.  I took Whiskey has gifts, but it was easy to find there.  Jim Bean is in every store, but Jack is harder to find.  Jack in the airport was cheaper than USA, but on the shelf in Russia it was more than USA.

American Fast food is around $4 a meal there on average, vs $3.50 in Ukraine.
« Last Edit: March 23, 2018, 11:39:57 AM by drsecu »

Offline Boethius

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #45 on: March 23, 2018, 10:00:54 AM »
Quote
There is a lot of USA products. everything Danon in dairy

Dannon is a product of Danone, a French food company.  They also own the Activia, Oikos, and Light & Fit brands.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline lyndontom

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #46 on: March 23, 2018, 10:30:59 AM »
:) Exactly, which is why I'm not keen on Skype, I've tried explaining this to the peanut gallery but they just don't get it. The first girl I met we got on well on Skype talked about a lot, we got on well when we met but there was no affection on her part - biggest bummer in the world. Hence why I am now planning to go out and meet many.


He'd also been to visit her in Kiev before this trip, so your theory is nonsense. You just don't have the balls/personality to get on Skype and try to justify/rationalise it.

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #47 on: March 23, 2018, 12:07:19 PM »

He'd also been to visit her in Kiev before this trip, so your theory is nonsense. You just don't have the balls/personality to get on Skype and try to justify/rationalise it.

It was unclear whether he met her there or her friends. He said himself that the interaction on Skype and real life was different it just didn't follow through. I have found this also. Mate think, how long do you spend writing all those messages and all that time on Skype just for one girl. Just for it all to be to waste when you meet up with girl. Drsecu here like many guys has still got enjoyment out of it but in terms of the aim of finding a girl that is right for him in an ongoing relationship its a waste. Some guys don't mind and enjoy the journey more than they are concerned about finding their other half - if it happens it happens if not all the same type of attitude.

Just think how many girls you have to go though in real life back home before you find one with any chemistry. For most it will probably be way less than even 10 percent. Say its 1 in every 20 girls on average (even that may be a bit on the high side) so that's 5 percent of girls where there is any chemistry. The same will be true in pretty much any country roughly. So without meeting them in person you are talking to people on the internet where there is just around 5 percent chance of them being that 1 in 20 or whatever. On a visit one that's not great odds, it can happen but it means a lot of visit one guys will go home disappointed.

Doing visit many however and you're meeting many more girls and odds can improve, no assurances as ever but you're not staking all that time, money and effort on one girl.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

drsecu

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #48 on: March 23, 2018, 12:47:27 PM »
TC we spent 2+ weeks in Ukraine together.  I had intended to meet others but it just worked out that way.  Although its not what I did I think for others it would be better to go into the trip and only try to meet others a week or two before you leave, and while you are there.

Offline lyndontom

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Re: Samara Russia Trip Report
« Reply #49 on: March 23, 2018, 03:02:22 PM »
It was unclear whether he met her there or her friends. He said himself that the interaction on Skype and real life was different it just didn't follow through. I have found this also. Mate think, how long do you spend writing all those messages and all that time on Skype just for one girl. Just for it all to be to waste when you meet up with girl. Drsecu here like many guys has still got enjoyment out of it but in terms of the aim of finding a girl that is right for him in an ongoing relationship its a waste. Some guys don't mind and enjoy the journey more than they are concerned about finding their other half - if it happens it happens if not all the same type of attitude.

Just think how many girls you have to go though in real life back home before you find one with any chemistry. For most it will probably be way less than even 10 percent. Say its 1 in every 20 girls on average (even that may be a bit on the high side) so that's 5 percent of girls where there is any chemistry. The same will be true in pretty much any country roughly. So without meeting them in person you are talking to people on the internet where there is just around 5 percent chance of them being that 1 in 20 or whatever. On a visit one that's not great odds, it can happen but it means a lot of visit one guys will go home disappointed.

Doing visit many however and you're meeting many more girls and odds can improve, no assurances as ever but you're not staking all that time, money and effort on one girl.


I've done both approaches and will be doing a WNVM next week. I still wouldn't tell people (and misinform newbies) here they shouldn't Skype with someone they feel a connection with that they've met online. You can blame time, odds, chemistry all you want but you're just looking for excuses. That's fine, and it isn't your cup of tea - but don't tell others that they shouldn't do it. I'm sure plenty of marriages with guys here will have been established and cemented on Skype and similar.


1 in 20 girls to have chemistry with? Depends what you define as chemistry and if you're including the work colleagues, babushkas and everyone else you encounter in life. What method are you using to search for, filter, and meet women - whether at home or elsewhere?

 

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