Sexually Transmitted Diseases / Infections

[wallm]

Holy shit! A thread like this makes me not want to follow BillyB's advice of "insert your tongue in her mouth and see how she reacts." 

So last night I shared a few kisses with Elena but there was no insertion...of any kind. 

[ML]

I did a lot of stupid things in my early US Navy days.

Luckily, I came through it STD free.

In my later dating years . . . I always used condom.

But, as I have written before, a number of FSU gals complained about it and asked me NOT to use condom.  I never agreed.

[BillyB]

So last night I shared a few kisses with Elena but there was no insertion...of any kind. 

Elena is probably very disappointed you didn't try French kissing with her. I've never had a woman reject my tongue when providing it. If you're going to exchange any bodily fluids even with a little kiss, you might as well not hold back!

I did a lot of stupid things in my early US Navy days.

A friend of mine, who was in the Navy in the 80's, said lots of sailors would do prostitutes even when making a port call in Africa.

Luckily, I can through it STD free.

Is "can" open for interpretation or does it have the same meaning as "came"?

But, as I have written before, a number of FSU gals complained about it and asked me NOT to use condom.  I never agreed.

I've also notice a high percentage of FSU women I dated aren't insistent on condoms.

[ML]

Thanks Billy for finding my spelling error.  First time in my life I ever spelled something wrong.

To return the favor . . . shouldn't your word be weren't instead of aren't.

Past tense . . . you know.

[BillyB]

shouldn't your word be weren't instead of aren't.

Past tense . . . you know.

The women I dated are past tense but I'm pretty sure their opinion on the matter remains the same so men should not be surprise the current FSU women they're dating aren't insistent on condoms instead of weren't insistent on condoms.

[msmob]

Boring to repeat - but as Jone mentioned - the use of condom will likely not prevent Herpes spreading during intercourse or even during a massage of the man's little brain

Where 'exchanges of body fluids' are concerned ..this even means kissing

This is an affliction that can take the spontaneity out of sex ..if you want to be safe..

[Bee Farmer]

Ultimately, there will always be a risk with anyone you date.  I have always tried to limit my exposure by casually questionning a prospective partner on her sexual history.  If I feel that she has been promiscuous, then I will back off from an intimate relationship. 

Men going to Eastern Europe should understand the risks and have an appropriate strategy to minimize them.  But while the risks may be minimized, they will never be eliminated.  That's life.

Jon, what are the risks of an STD if you date a virgin?  You say there ultimately will be a risk with anyone you date.

If a girl is a virgin, you know she has not been promiscuous.

How does dating a virgin minimize risk of STD's, but will never eliminate the risks?  Please explain that to me.

And folks on here wonder why some guys want to find a virgin to marry.  Who would have thought...it completely eliminates the risks of an STD.  And you also don't have to worry about her being promiscuous. 

[LiveFromUkraine]

Jon, what are the risks of an STD if you date a virgin?  You say there ultimately will be a risk with anyone you date.

If a girl is a virgin, you know she has not been promiscuous.

How does dating a virgin minimize risk of STD's, but will never eliminate the risks?  Please explain that to me.

And folks on here wonder why some guys want to find a virgin to marry.  Who would have thought...it completely eliminates the risks of an STD.  And you also don't have to worry about her being promiscuous.

If you are using virgin in the vaginal sense then that alone doesn't mean she wasn't promiscuous. 

[GQBlues]

Jon, what are the risks of an STD if you date a virgin?  You say there ultimately will be a risk with anyone you date.

If a girl is a virgin, you know she has not been promiscuous.

How does dating a virgin minimize risk of STD's, but will never eliminate the risks?  Please explain that to me.

  You never heard of *dry f@cking*?

[msmob]

BeeFarmer

You may not be 'getting it' - as other posters have put it more crudely...

One does not need to have experienced penetrative sex to carry certain STDs - example Herpes ..

[ML]

Be especially careful around the ears.

[Trenchcoat]

I believe I said that I bring it up as soon as it looks like we will meet and have clicked

This has been on my mind, how does one go about this exactly? I mean its kind of like saying to the girl that a) you think sex is on the cards whatever and b) she sleeps around a bit - which she might but she will still probably be loathed to admit it. Even if I clicked with a girl I could see this as being a rather awkward thing to bring up, might even p*ss her off. On the other hand if she was there with me, really hot and the chemistry was there I think I would find it difficult to say no.

[msmob]

This has been on my mind, how does one go about this exactly? I mean its kind of like saying to the girl that a) you think sex is on the cards whatever and b) she sleeps around a bit - which she might but she will still probably be loathed to admit it. Even if I clicked with a girl I could see this as being a rather awkward thing to bring up, might even p*ss her off. On the other hand if she was there with me, really hot and the chemistry was there I think I would find it difficult to say no.

Yup, you exactly describe the massive dilemma.

All I can say is that when you know you have an issue - it is a subject that one MUST raise..

I didn't with a woman I believed hadn't slept around - and probably hadn't ... and the rest is 'history' ...

You've just got to remember - you've having to trust the sexual history of all her partners and THEIR partners, too

[Trenchcoat]

Yup, you exactly describe the massive dilemma.

All I can say is that when you know you have an issue - it is a subject that one MUST raise..

I didn't with a woman I believed hadn't slept around - and probably hadn't ... and the rest is 'history' ...

You've just got to remember - you've having to trust the sexual history of all her partners and THEIR partners, too

Ok, any idea of where best to go to get a certificate of the all clear. I 've had a brief look online and it seems that Herpes they only test you if you have sores, which is where they get a swab from. HIV & Syphalis is a blood test, Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea is a Urine sample here in the UK. Obviously I would have to get this every so often so it is reasonably up to date for the girl I visit.

Have you ever had any girls take to it badly?

[msmob]

Ok, any idea of where best to go to get a certificate of the all clear. I 've had a brief look online and it seems that Herpes they only test you if you have sores, which is where they get a swab from. HIV & Syphalis is a blood test, Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea is a Urine sample here in the UK. Obviously I would have to get this every so often so it is reasonably up to date for the girl I visit.

Indeed, many NNHS GUM will not test for HSV - unless you present symptoms.  You can suggest you seek the test as you and your partner are anxious to know - as a former partner was a carrier.


The test results come by SMS

Have you ever had any girls take to it badly?

No ! They were all grateful for my honesty ...  Some didn't want to go further and that was fine with me...

You may get a vastly different reaction. I am older and most of the women I might have been hooking up with were not considering to be future Mums..

[Trenchcoat]

No ! They were all grateful for my honesty ...  Some didn't want to go further and that was fine with me...

You may get a vastly different reaction. I am older and most of the women I might have been hooking up with were not considering to be future Mums..

Yeah could see actually now you come to mention it that it might actually be an advantage. It might weed out any women that weren't serious, i.e holiday whores and the rest.

The test thing though seems a bit of bother, are they likely to want the name of my supposed partner? I assume girl can do same in Ukraine/Russis?  Hopefully free? Should I get any other tests done as well or just this one as it's the one you can get even if wearing a condom. I would of course plan on wearing one as you never really know as of course either side could have sex between test and meeting so only goes so far I guess.

[jone]

Yeah could see actually now you come to mention it that it might actually be an advantage. It might weed out any women that weren't serious, i.e holiday whores and the rest.

The test thing though seems a bit of bother, are they likely to want the name of my supposed partner? I assume girl can do same in Ukraine/Russis?  Hopefully free? Should I get any other tests done as well or just this one as it's the one you can get even if wearing a condom. I would of course plan on wearing one as you never really know as of course either side could have sex between test and meeting so only goes so far I guess.

Trench,

Gotta tell you, this search for an Eastern European wife is not for you.  You are the most over cautious conservative cheap individual I have seen on this or any other forum.  By virtue of your questions, I can tell that you are not sexually adept.  Nor do you have the communication skills to effectively convey your feelings positively to a lady from Eastern Europe.  Some people just are not meant for this.  You are one such person.  Were I you, I would go to your church and tell your pastor/priest that you are looking for a woman and let them select someone for you.

As to disclosing things through a test, Moby talks in the extreme.  People with STDs have a pretty good idea that they are infected.  And those that aren't infected certainly have a pretty good idea as well.  You are the last individual who would need an STD report card.  If you are interested in someone, simply say that you have never been treated for an STD and, given your history, it is very unlikely that you have ever contracted such.  Leave it at that.  If you can ever get that far in a conversation.

[msmob]

The test thing though seems a bit of bother, are they likely to want the name of my supposed partner?

Nope ..

I assume girl can do same in Ukraine/Russia?  Hopefully free?

Not free in Russia - wasn't free in UA but my experience with dating a lady there is over 10 years out of date

Should I get any other tests done as well or just this one as it's the one you can get even if wearing a condom. I would of course plan on wearing one as you never really know as of course either side could have sex between test and meeting so only goes so far I guess.

HSV / Herpes is the one that wearing a condom might not help and don't make the mistake of believing penetrative sex is the only variant in town ....

As you say .. a test is only as valid until one of you has a liaison with another partner...

Now whilst Jone might be right about your worrying about 'scammers' ...  I can only say that KNOWING you have a notifiable STD makes his 'advice' concerning 'extreme' .....  well,  ..

He simply cannot have worn the t-shirt

[Trenchcoat]

Nope ..

Not free in Russia - wasn't free in UA but my experience with dating a lady there is over 10 years out of date

HSV / Herpes is the one that wearing a condom might not help and don't make the mistake of believing penetrative sex is the only variant in town ....

As you say .. a test is only as valid until one of you has a liaison with another partner...

Now whilst Jone might be right about your worrying about 'scammers' ...  I can only say that KNOWING you have a notifiable STD makes his 'advice' concerning 'extreme' .....  well,  ..

He simply cannot have worn the t-shirt

Thanks Moby, ok I'll give it a go when ready to meet a lady out there seems sound advice. Might put her at ease about being affectionate towards me as well. It seems a major shortcoming is STD spread to not promote the service to everyone for the Herpes test. The others a case of wearing a condom will tend to stop them. That is the way I would go and stuff it if the woman doesn't like it I don't have a problem with wearing one. Thanks for your help on here I always thought that wearing protection was generally all that was needed for all of them so was bot aware of this one you can possibly get even if you wear one. You might be saving me a lot of pain here.

[Trenchcoat]

Trench,

Gotta tell you, this search for an Eastern European wife is not for you.  You are the most over cautious conservative cheap individual I have seen on this or any other forum.  By virtue of your questions, I can tell that you are not sexually adept.  Nor do you have the communication skills to effectively convey your feelings positively to a lady from Eastern Europe.  Some people just are not meant for this.  You are one such person.  Were I you, I would go to your church and tell your pastor/priest that you are looking for a woman and let them select someone for you.

As to disclosing things through a test, Moby talks in the extreme.  People with STDs have a pretty good idea that they are infected.  And those that aren't infected certainly have a pretty good idea as well.  You are the last individual who would need an STD report card.  If you are interested in someone, simply say that you have never been treated for an STD and, given your history, it is very unlikely that you have ever contracted such.  Leave it at that.  If you can ever get that far in a conversation.

I don't go to church Jone as I'm not religious. Anyway, what about the woman? this is really all about her. I can hardly tell her to go off and get tested and not take one myself. She does not know me so she'll have no idea how many people I have been with, if I'm telling her the truth or what so as if she is going to trust her health on that. I'm not ready to throw in the towel on this search at anyone's suggestion. I may come across as over cautious but its not stuff I carry an obsession with though it may look like it here. This whole foreign dating thing was uncharted territory for me as it has a lot of people here. I no doubt expect that there are many lurkers here that read all this stuff and are better informed when going on this journey. Nothing wrong with hedging your bets with a bit of well informed advice from the experienced posters on this forum. After all no doubt for some people this search can go miserably wrong - take the Millionaire guy that got run over in the Ukraine under suspicious circumstances, or people that get serious STD's. To my mind there's nothing wrong with gaining some knowledge for use out on the field. I think we all benefit each other from that.

Anyway, weren't you married? your relationship status now says your in a committed relationship for one year.

[Trenchcoat]

The test results come by SMS

Can you get in any other way? I'm not sure a girl would be convinced if I just showed her a text, it might not look very authoritative.

[msmob]

Can you get in any other way? I'm not sure a girl would be convinced if I just showed her a text, it might not look very authoritative.

I don't know ...   My most recent experiences - we were both in the UK and were tested at the same time / place. I'm sure you can ask for a print out.

[GQBlues]

...To my mind there's nothing wrong with gaining some knowledge for use out on the field. I think we all benefit each other from that...

Sure. IMHO however, there's not too many things available to you that is far more useful than experience, common sense and instinct.

I am left to ask, now that you know better about the subject, exactly how confident are you that the woman you'll meet in the future will be 100% safe? By asking her and telling you she's safe? By asking her to take a test just in case? Will you keep asking her to take a test every time, or at every interval period of time?

I'm not trying to box you in. I am curious how you would like to dispense with your new found knowledge in this subject where even a simple 'kiss' can do you in?

[BillyB]

Living can be risky. There's a 100% chance you're going to die. Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid. Some people are good judges of character and surround themselves with good people. Others can't figure people out and get involved with all the wrong people. Improving your judgement of people can reduces the risks of STDs.

When communicating with women that I'm considering to visit, I tell them I'm healthy and my blood is clean. Clean blood is their way of saying they are disease free. Women I communicate with write with a sense of relief that I'm healthy and go on to tell about their health.

[jone]

I always tell them I have all my teeth.