Engagement ring? Popping the question?

[santo]

Do Russian women expect diamond engagement rings like American Women do? I have been living in Russia with my GF and brought up the topic of getting engaged recently. She got mad and said " We already decided we would be together, why you talk about that?"  Since then, we have been discussing plans to be married, move back to the US together, etc. I told her I have to ask her first and she has to say yes.  She just shook her head in confusion.

I came to Russia with plans to propose marriage to her and give her a ring like we do in the US, but it seems in Russia only a plain wedding ring ( no diamond ) is given at the wedding, with no diamond ring before. I'm confused 

Also, I don't think she would be safe walking around the streets of Siberia with a big hunk of diamond on her finger.

[I/O]

Also, I don't think she would be safe walking around the streets of Siberia with a big hunk of diamond on her finger.

Nonsense.

[Faux Pas]

Do Russian women expect diamond engagement rings like American Women do? I have been living in Russia with my GF and brought up the topic of getting engaged recently. She got mad and said " We already decided we would be together, why you talk about that?"  Since then, we have been discussing plans to be married, move back to the US together, etc. I told her I have to ask her first and she has to say yes.  She just shook her head in confusion.

I came to Russia with plans to propose marriage to her and give her a ring like we do in the US, but it seems in Russia only a plain wedding ring ( no diamond ) is given at the wedding, with no diamond ring before. I'm confused 

Also, I don't think she would be safe walking around the streets of Siberia with a big hunk of diamond on her finger.

Have you ever known a woman that didn't want a diamond wedding ring and the bigger, the better?

[Patagonie]

I would stay outside the "diamond" ring before you really get married, drop the engagment phase, and find her agreement when it is time to choose the ring, in a targeted budget.
Stop to have an headache with western habits.

[santo]

That's pretty much what I've decided.  The diamond engagement ring is more of a western custom.  My girl already expressed to me that she is committed and we will be together. I really don't think she is expecting a ring, nor is it important to her.  Coming from the US, I just thought it was mandatory. I would much rather spend the money on the vacations we are planning together or buy her nice useful things.

[Faux Pas]

That's pretty much what I've decided.  The diamond engagement ring is more of a western custom.  My girl already expressed to me that she is committed and we will be together. I really don't think she is expecting a ring, nor is it important to her.  Coming from the US, I just thought it was mandatory. I would much rather spend the money on the vacations we are planning together or buy her nice useful things.

Ah well, there you go! You mean like a nice ironing board, pots and pans and a washer/dryer combo. Yeah, that's the ticket. Those will come in handy when you return from those world cruises. The ring has more connotation than just being committed or that you will be together. She is going to want one and most likely you are going to want her to have one.

I didn't say buy her one now. In fact to get married all we bought were gold bands. Engagement rings might be a Western tradition but, wedding rings are not and certainly nice rings are not. There is something about the genetic make up of women. They love jewelery and more so they love to envy the jewelery of others. It's how they are wired. Sure, your woman might be one of the 2% that don't care anything about it. If that's the case, you've hit the Mother load. Your first vacation should be to Vegas

[viking]

My Wife's "engagement ring" was just a simple ring to show off to her friends that we were "officially" engaged. She picked it. Cost me $76.  Your girl says she is committed to you. Leave it alone. You went to Russia to find a woman whose culture is different. Ok. Now deal with it. 

[Faux Pas]

My Wife's "engagement ring" was just a simple ring to show off to her friends that we were "officially" engaged. She picked it. Cost me $76.  Your girl says she is committed to you. Leave it alone. You went to Russia to find a woman whose culture is different. Ok. Now deal with it. 

Have you since bought her another ring?

[Aloe]

I suggest you start saving for a ring. Make an account, and start putting money in it every month. Then, after you have lived in the US for a few years, and your wife finally mentions that everyone has such nice rings, and she's the only one without, you can take her ring shopping. If after 5 years in the US she never mentions it, you can spend the saved money on a nice vacation

[Faux Pas]

I suggest you start saving for a ring. Make an account, and start putting money in it every month. Then, after you have lived in the US for a few years, and your wife finally mentions that everyone has such nice rings, and she's the only one without, you can take her ring shopping. If after 5 years in the US she never mentions it, you can spend the saved money on a nice vacation

Welcome Back Aloe! You've been missed 

[Aloe]

Welcome Back Aloe! You've been missed 

awww thank you 

[Wayne]

In Siberia, engagement rings are reasonably priced. Russia has a lot of diamonds. You can get a really nice ring for about $1000 USD.
 
Of course, it is true that most Russian women do not expect an engagement ring.
 
My ex AW had a really great diamond ring that stayed locked up in the safe.

[Drew]

A dual path that many follow:

1) Buy the real stuff, but keep it locked up and only used in the home or with close friends.

2) Buy duplicates of cubic zirconia for wearing out on the town.  Cubic zirconia is beautiful and only a trained diamond jeweler can tell the difference without magnification.

The biggest concern is not the rock itself, but rather the material holding the rock.  Get good quality there, don't want something that tarnishes, etc.

[vwrw]

That's pretty much what I've decided.  The diamond engagement ring is more of a western custom.  My girl already expressed to me that she is committed and we will be together. I really don't think she is expecting a ring, nor is it important to her.  Coming from the US, I just thought it was mandatory. I would much rather spend the money on the vacations we are planning together or buy her nice useful things.

I recommend to buy her both a wedding and  a diamond engagement rings and give them both to her when she comes to the US. Let her to pick the rings from a catalog herself. In this case, she is more likely to love her rings and to select ones that are cheaper than that you may feel an obligation to buy. We, woman, appreciate an initiative, so buy them without her asking for it.


If you do not buy her a nice engagement ring, she may interpret it in following way: "He thinks i do not deserve a diamond ring because I am a RW and not WW." That thoughts might be followed by a big drama or something worse. How would you feel if she treated you in a certain bad way, different from how she treats RM only because you are an AM?

[vwrw]

Nonsense.

I agree the safety issue is a nonsense. If she were sitting in a very expensive car, looking at her diamond framed in yellow frame, people would assume that it is a diamond ring. If she wears the same diamond framed in white gold while walking around the streets , everybody is likely to assume it is a $8 fake ring. This statement is based on a real experience. I was so surprised with how great the fake diamond rings look in Russia that I decided to experiment and ask some people what ring of two I wore was more expensive. Everyone picked the fake ring.   

[JayH]

Welcome Back Aloe! You've been missed 

Plus me on that and  :welcome:I am guessing a few more will add!!

[Lily]

Do Russian women expect diamond engagement rings like American Women do? I have been living in Russia with my GF and brought up the topic of getting engaged recently. She got mad and said " We already decided we would be together, why you talk about that?"  Since then, we have been discussing plans to be married, move back to the US together, etc. I told her I have to ask her first and she has to say yes.  She just shook her head in confusion.

I came to Russia with plans to propose marriage to her and give her a ring like we do in the US, but it seems in Russia only a plain wedding ring ( no diamond ) is given at the wedding, with no diamond ring before. I'm confused 

Also, I don't think she would be safe walking around the streets of Siberia with a big hunk of diamond on her finger.

With abolishment of the Iron Curtain and since the information about life in the West vs. life in the FSU started circulating around, I'd say may people became accustomised to the way the life is going on in different parts of the worls. Nowadays, Russians celebrate the St Valentine's day that has been unheard of in the USSR. Also, people who cam afford it, do give engagement rings to their fiancees.

Therefore, regarding the engagement ring, it mostly depends on the particular woman. Most likely she would love the idea!

[GQBlues]

That's pretty much what I've decided.  The diamond engagement ring is more of a western custom.  My girl already expressed to me that she is committed and we will be together. I really don't think she is expecting a ring, nor is it important to her.  Coming from the US, I just thought it was mandatory. I would much rather spend the money on the vacations we are planning together or buy her nice useful things.

Exactly.

If you feel compelled to bash her with western tradition, then I'd say do it like we do in the west. Wait until after you had sex with her for the 30th time and if the inspiration is still there to band her with a diamond ring, then bury yourself in debt and get her a nice one.

If the sex isn't as exciting as it was the first - fifth time, cubic zircona is definitely the call then...

It would sux to high heavens if she's touting around a huge diamond ring that got you deep in debt, and sex is more like a masturbatory time filler than an epic event, imagine how that would feel like.

The cost of that ring would've been a nice down payment for a Harley...which could be a worthwhile investment for more cute chicks you can start a new cycle with...

[Muzh]

This was my engagement.

[GQBlues]

LMAO!

The bigger the diamond, the more effect it'll have when you remind her how many Africans must've died for that rock she's wearing.

[Faux Pas]

LMAO!

The bigger the diamond, the more effect it'll have when you remind her how many Africans must've died for that rock she's wearing.

No sense in wasting good money on a ring. She'll be much more pleased a good quality wood cookstove, a lawn mower and a good scrub bucket. All things that will improve her life

[santo]

I just thought it was mandatory like it is in the US.  It's pretty sad that you need to buy an expensive ring if you plan to get married to a US girl. I have friends who are not rich who spent months worth of their salary to get one for their girls. It's a BS western consumer custom.

It's also worthwhile to mention that my mother, who is not from the US, still wears and cherishes her original engagement ring after 45 years of marriage.

I did buy an expensive ring and I brought it with me with the intent of popping the question and giving it to my girl.  After living with her for some time, seeing how she loves me and already agreed to marry me, I see no point in giving the expensive ring. I will return it and invest the money in my business and our future.

[Faux Pas]

It's also worthwhile to mention that my mother, who is not from the US, still wears and cherishes her original engagement ring after 45 years of marriage.

What does this tell you?

I did buy an expensive ring and I brought it with me with the intent of popping the question and giving it to my girl.  After living with her for some time, seeing how she loves me and already agreed to marry me, I see no point in giving the expensive ring. I will return it and invest the money in my business and our future.

Yeah I agree, no need to buy her love at this point, eh?

[CDW]

 
My ex AW had a really great diamond ring that stayed locked up in the safe.

How do you know she still keep it?  She could've already sold eBay for $1

[calmissile]

Santo,
I had to chuckle when I read your post.  I experiencd the same situation with my Ukraine wife.  As it turned out, it is not traditional for Ukraine women to wear engagement rings.  Furthermore, they typically do not choose gaudy wedding rings with big diamonds.  When we shopped at a large jewelry store in Kiev, the salesman told us they had no engagement rings, only wedding rings.  When we went shpping for wedding bands the same day we got married (in Kiev) I asked her to pick out any ring she liked.  She chose a nice gold wedding band for about $800 and could have had any ring she wanted.  It appears to me that the custom of wearing big rocks and showing off is more of a western custom.

While she does like expensive jewelry such as neclaces and earrings, an expensive, large wedding ring is not on the top of her list.  I have always prefered to take the lady shopping, agree on a target amount to spend, and let her choose what she really likes.

BTW, when in Ukraine she wears her wedding ring on her right hand, and when in the USA she switches it to her left hand.