Time for some Humor!!

[calmissile]

Right!
That is why men can't afford more than one switch for themselves - they have to focus on the bottom panel as women are not very good with wiring even if it's isolated... 

Damn!  You certainly are a welcome, fresh personality to this forum.  It's nice to see that all FSU women are not angry and self centered.  If you were not already married you would have our members beating your door down.  Your husband is a very luck man!

I hope you stick around to show the newbies that there is hope if they are selective in their search for a FSU wife.  LOL.

 

[BBC]

Damn!  It's nice to see that all FSU women are not angry and self centered.  If you were not already married you would have our members beating your door down.  Your husband is a very luck man!

I hope you stick around to show the newbies that there is hope if they are selective in their search for a FSU wife.  LOL.

LOL. You are right – not all FSU women are angry, self-centred and humorless, but most of us have wiring which work exclusively with alternating current source. So, the superior advice to all newbies is not to rush with conclusions after the first switches you tried – test the whole panel, better more than once, and see if you can deal with it!

Ops, somebody knocking at the door... LOL

[BBC]

Print it and put in your wallet!

 

[SANDRO43]

In other words, a tipsy woman is ultra-safe ?

[BBC]

In other words, a tipsy woman is ultra-safe ?

Depends on who you are concerned about... If a man - yes, he will be pretty safe with a tipsy woman because most likely she will lose her interest in him. I can't tell the same about safety of the woman... 

[mendeleyev]

Most of the city residents had been gone for the day to visit an exhibit of exotic animals
that was in town for several days.

Not everyone could afford the ticket price and so two old babushki had stayed behind.
As the sun began to fade they sat on the steps outside their Minsk apartment, enjoying an evening smoke.
They relaxed and with each huff and puff sent twirls of smoke curling upward.

After a few minutes it began to rain and the second lady noticed that the rain had extinguished her cigarette.
Much to her surprise her friend calmly reached inside her purse, whipped out a condom,
bit off the end and fitted the condom over her cigarette just like a little raincoat.
The first lady sat there undeterred by the rain and continued to smoke her cigarette.

Well as you can imagine that next morning the 2nd lady was first in line when the neighborhood Apteka (pharmacy) opened.
She marched straight up to the pharmacy attendant and asked for a package of condoms.

Wide-eyed at the sight of a 80+ year old babushka ordering a box of condoms,
the pharmacy attendant stammered out the question, which brand of condoms would you like?

Oh heavens I don't care, replied the old babushka, as long as they're big enough to fit a camel.

The pharmacy attendant fainted.

[Lily]

[Hammer2722]

 

[ML]

Masturbation banned!!!!!

[ML]

Lily, this happens millions of times a day to men around the world.

'Blue balls' is a painful condition exclusive to males and trivialized (and even enjoyed) by females..

[Larry1]

That video was hilarious! The guy's wife's reaction the first time she appeared in the clip was really funny. Maybe you have to be a guy to find it funny though.

[Lily]

Happy translation!

[Lily]

Lily, this happens millions of times a day to men around the world.

'Blue balls' is a painful condition exclusive to males and trivialized (and even enjoyed) by females..

Come on. No way we enjoy that.
Happened also to me, and often   

[BBC]

I/O, you see, I can't be too serious.

PS: I came back to my previous post and put " " for one word to make it more clear who is too serious here  .

[calmissile]

Best marriage proposal....

http://www.youtube.com/embed/dYslhL71k1M?rel=0

[Gator]

http://newsbusters.org/blogs/noel-sheppard/2013/02/01/leno-makes-obama-clinton-60-minutes-segment-cialis-commercial

[Lily]

Russian sizes and shapes

 

[viking]

IF YOU MARRY A RUSSIAN  GIRL
 
 The first man married a woman from Italy. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
 
 The second man married a woman from Poland. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.
 ...
 The third man married a girl from Russia. He ordered her to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees......

[Anotherkiwi]

Best marriage proposal....

http://www.youtube.com/embed/dYslhL71k1M?rel=0

Totally unexpected ending...classic! 

[ML]

Try to guess the product of this commercial before it finishes.

It might seem scary in places; but it is not really.

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=22984504&server=vimeo.com&show_title=0&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00adef&fullscreen=1&autoplay=1&loop=0

[Brillynt]

Try to guess the product of this commercial before it finishes.

It might seem scary in places; but it is not really.

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=22984504&server=vimeo.com&show_title=0&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00adef&fullscreen=1&autoplay=1&loop=0

That was a good commercial, made me laugh at the end.

[Olly]

V. PUTIN 

[Anotherkiwi]

V. PUTIN 

Didn't he want to risk riding a full-grown adult? 

[jone]

Having read all of the threads on age disparity, I couldn't not share the following:

One young 22 Year old FSU Woman decided she was going to marry an old coot to get his money.  So she found someone in his 80's.  On the night of their honeymoon, the gal thought that she'd end it right there by giving him a heart attack and showed up in the sexiest negligee that she could find. 

The old man walks into their bedroom and when he sees her he has a big smile on his face, and he was naked, just wearing a condom, a nose plug and earplugs.  His new wife looked at him like he's from another planet but sweetly asked him about his choice of attire.

He answered that as to the condom, he believed in practicing responsible birth control, but as for the ear plugs and nose plug, he said that he could not stand the sound of a woman screaming or the smell of burning rubber.

[ML]

Pick Up Lines

Alien Booty Call:  Perhaps you would like to exchange fluids and secretions in a simulated atmosphere?- - - - - - -

Astronaut Booty Call:  I'd like to see what's under your Kuiper Belt. - - - - - -

Classic Booty Call:  There are 265 bones in the human body. Would you like to add another?- - - - - - -

Classic Booty Call:  If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? - - - - - - -

Classic Booty Call:  The cops must be after you, because it's illegal to look that good.- - - - - - -

Corporate Booty Call:  Want to take a look at my benefit package? - - - - - -

Corporate Booty Call:  I'd like to think inside your box.- - - - - - -

Astronaut Booty Call:  My unit would like to explore your crater. - - - - - - -

Corporate Booty Call:  Wanna give me a desk job?- - - - - - -

Astronaut Booty Call:  Can I dock my rocket at your space station? - - - - - -

Astronaut Booty Call:  Can you help me achieve a coronal mass ejection?- - - -

Contractor Booty Call:  I'm skilled in the art of hand evacuation. - - - - - -

Caveman Booty Call:  I think I just evolved into Homo Erectus.