Brief Introduction

[Trenchcoat]

I can't watch a YouTube video about a guy who spent $300K on his search. Surely, he should have known that he was on a path to ruin. That is too much money to lose because of ignorance. While some people might enjoy the Schadenfreude, I just feel sorry for the dude. I hope he has a sense of humor about his misadventures.

I watched it, its the old pay per letter writing scam with pictures, stickers, sending expensive gifts - iPhones which tend to be the old hold the gift (used to be flowers or teddy bear) for a photo then put it back on the shelf, all that costing more. The iPhone he paid as a gift ended up being a photo of her with her existing phone lol, the screen lit up unnoticed by her when the photo was taken and it had a number by the email icon (49 Emails) so could be seen it was not a new phone. The girls were in on it but just stepped in when needed, hairy Boris was doing the rest.

Apparently the guy has got $70,000 through charge backs from one credit card company so now is down only around $230,000. He's trying to do the same with the other two credit card companies he uses and hopes to pretty much get it all back. Even so it's an ordeal to do all the paperwork and prove he was being unfairly charged/ripped off. He's lucky that there is charge backs now but even if hen it is hard and no guarantees necessarily.

He seems a nice enough guy so it's pleasing to see he got/getting money back. I don't really understand how he didn't have a reality check when the credit card bill came in the early months with $12k etc. Whether he has really learnt from this and will be more perceptive next time idk. Could be a case that he's so wealthy that it led him to not scrutinize and take a good hard look at paying a lot out but in reality not really seeing any concrete result for it.

[Trenchcoat]

Davo, that was an interesting video, thanks for highlighting it for us. I never thought that someone would be taken for as much as $300k on the ppl scam.

I think it brought up an interesting point that a little t of girls can almost be scammed themselves in partaking in it, they tend to get the smaller portion of the money while the agency owner makes a mint. I think BillyB's point is important here in that these girls (assuming they are not already married) wreak their chances of finding a guy for a decent LTR as once they partake in a scam it becomes part of their character.

So in reality some of those girls wreak themselves over in what may be in many cases really quite insignificant sums in the long run for them.

[Intrepid Traveler]

I went to the YouTube to look at the comments, hoping to find a something that would be insightful. The comments go on forever. And surprisingly, many of the comments are from women. I thought this story would appeal to men only.

In any event, I can't watch it. I feel bad for the dude. As I said before, I hope he has a sense of humor about his situation.

[ML]

He met a wonderful woman on a free site and then spent a month in Yekaterinburg on his first trip which cost approximately $3500 US including flights. A few months later he spent another month with her for another $3500 and proposed on that trip. He started the visa process which cost approximately $7000. He flew back for back for another month ($3500) while the visa was approved and then paid $700 for her flights to start their new life together.

Total cost :- $18,200 USD.

Davo, you are missing a lot of costs here . . . the ones incurred 'after' the gal arrives in country.

English lesson to make her proficient.
New wardrobe.
Car
Driving lessons.
Redo her education, gain certifications, etc.
Dental work.
Insurance for her; she may not qualify for employer plan or guy might not have an employer plan.  In USA, it would cost $15,000 a year for insurance for my wife.
Etc., etc., etc.
Money to for her to travel back home X times a year.
Money to send to her parents to replace what she had been providing them.
Education costs for her children.

Others . . . add to this list.

[Trenchcoat]

A FSW that wants a lot of stuff like this is the worst. Nothing but a constant outflow off money, money being spent quicker than you can earn it. Feels like being a cash dispenser with one request following another. If a girl seems like this while dating her as I have had consider more frugal girls

[Trenchcoat]

As I said before, I hope he has a sense of humor about his situation.

To me the guy seems to have a lot of money floating around. I assume he already owns a house. It certainly seems the sort of money that could be spent on a decent house. I think anyone who hasn't had money come easy to them and any regard for it wouldn't be feeling humour with this sort of loss, maybe he's a high earner idk.

If he's able to reclaim pretty much all of it I guess humour may then come. Till then if it were me I would be pretty cheesed off. If he's wealthy enough not for it to have a particularly punishing effect on his life then I guess it may not be quite as bad for him.

Apparently, according to him he has found they are now using software that learns people's behaviour based on questions you get asked in letters. That's used to try and scam more money out of you and keep you on the hook. Hence another reason to stay clear of ppl agencies as they are probably all getting onto that. I still think that the guy while stable looking enough probably was a bit neive in character overall. Red flags were there, he found them, chose to ignore them or accept bs explanations over them. He could have looked on the internet, come here to ask but his mind didn't want to accept the truth.

[Intrepid Traveler]

Stop messing with poetry, work on your income, work on the way you look, go to the gym, if you got enough energy, work on your income some more. Don't come to FSU playing fairy tales

I missed your post, japtats. Here's some news for you: I don't care what you think.

If you are going to try to insult or badger me, try to at least show some creativity. Your comments are lame.

[2tallbill]

Davo, that was an interesting video, thanks for highlighting it for us. I never thought that someone would be taken for as much as $300k on the ppl scam.

The guy made a thousand mistakes,

1. Never send money to someone you have never met.
He spent money on gifts for women he never met.

2. Always have a back-up plan.

3. Work to eliminate any agency from your communications.
He didn't do this

4. Always get the lady's home address and home phone number as early as possible.
He didn't do this

5. Verify the ladies you are writing to are real.
He didn't do this

6. Do not fall in love with photos!!

7. Always be yourself. Show the ladies the real you. Be truthful. Use current photos.

8. Do not rush into this! Take your time and be methodical, not impulsive, about this process.

9. Treat international dating the same as dating someone from your home country.
The biggest difference is the cost (travel, phone. etc). This is an expensive process.
Don't believe anyone that tells you otherwise.

10. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MAIL-ORDER BRIDE! They do not exist.

11. GET YOUR BUTT ON A PLANE
He didn't do this

He dumped money into a chatting fantasy rather than moving things along.

[Steamer]

The guy made a thousand mistakes,

It just shows that our biggest enemy can be ourselves and our fantasies.

[2tallbill]

It just shows that our biggest enemy can be ourselves and our fantasies.

He could have flown to the FSU 30 times for ten grand each but he decided
to pay keyboard Romeo instead? I only watched bits and pieces of the video
because I can't watch him talk about it. His continued departure from reality
for such an extended time is just weird to me.

[Trenchcoat]

The guy made a thousand mistakes,

1. Never send money to someone you have never met.
He spent money on gifts for women he never met.

2. Always have a back-up plan.

3. Work to eliminate any agency from your communications.
He didn't do this

4. Always get the lady's home address and home phone number as early as possible.
He didn't do this

5. Verify the ladies you are writing to are real.
He didn't do this

6. Do not fall in love with photos!!

7. Always be yourself. Show the ladies the real you. Be truthful. Use current photos.

8. Do not rush into this! Take your time and be methodical, not impulsive, about this process.

9. Treat international dating the same as dating someone from your home country.
The biggest difference is the cost (travel, phone. etc). This is an expensive process.
Don't believe anyone that tells you otherwise.

10. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MAIL-ORDER BRIDE! They do not exist.

11. GET YOUR BUTT ON A PLANE
He didn't do this

He dumped money into a chatting fantasy rather than moving things along.

That's an excellent analysis Bill. That guy made even way more mistakes than me lol. I think too that guy fell down on a few rudimentary mistakes as you've listed and he's only got himself and his own shortcomings to blame for that more than any issue he raised with computer behaviour learning program. I think as you've put whatever way a scam goes down it really comes down to a guy making rudimentary mistakes. I think for me the fact that he spent so much without actually going there and actually seeing a person, that he couldn't quantify that he wasn't getting anything in the slightest substantial for his spend out is one of the biggest clangers for me. Even if the virus is stopping that then it should have been a case of leave it and go do something else. There are free dating sites for the FSU out there that he could have used and spent nothing and had real ladies to communicate with but he never took the time to look into the FSU dating world even on a brief Google search and find out about it first.

[Shadow]

When seeing the scams I always am compelled to tell that most of the scammers are not the women in the picture, and in most cases they are even unaware.In the past a very large part of the dating scams were done by criminal organizations, based in or near university campus. That gave them a large supply of pretty girls who would be happy to have their pictures taken with promise of a modeling career.The rest was sending form letters and collect money, the girls were not involved.
This is also why this type of scam has faded, as to invest time and money in to video conversations and app communication is not profitable for these organizations.

[rwd123]

I missed your post, japtats. Here's some news for you: I don't care what you think.

If you are going to try to insult or badger me, try to at least show some creativity. Your comments are lame.

You're fantasizing. He was just being direct.

Have you ever lived abroad before?

[2tallbill]

That's an excellent analysis Bill. That guy made even way more mistakes than me lol.

You and he probably make the same amount, it's just you don't make so many
mistakes involving your money.

Normally this is where I would point out your various faults and mistakes but
I am trying to stop doing that.

[Intrepid Traveler]

You're fantasizing. He was just being direct.

Have you ever lived abroad before?

And you're obtuse. I don't have to answer your questions or accept your demands to attend a "multi-year university course" by a certain date. That's just weird, man.

[Intrepid Traveler]

Here is my generic advice for Newbies

WARNING FOR ALL NEWBIES GOOD STUFF FOR ALL TO READ BELOW

My first piece of advice is to do a ton of research, read until your eyes bleed.
Here are some good places to start.

1. Read the Ten Commandments
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=1740.0

2. Read the thread Pursuing FSUW 101
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0

3. Read the Free EBook
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=ezportal;sa=page;p=47

4. Read all the trip reports you can. You can find mine here
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=3432.0

Second piece of advice
As you read you will have questions, you can either use the search function or
you can come back here to this thread and ask them. When you ask questions
you will get a lot of free advice. Some of this advice will be excellent, some will
be good and some will be more dubious.

Your job is to NOT GET OFFENDED and sift through the advice using what would
be helpful for you, your goals, your personality and your situation and then ignore
the rest. You are relatively anonymous here (my advice is to keep it that way) and
nobody knows anything about you except what you write here.

Udachi! (that means good luck in Russian)

Bill

I am reading through your trip report (point 4) and am on page 8 of 52. You write well. But reading about this antidate stuff is blood curdling.

Although I am going to keep reading through the rest of posts, I just wanted to comment that I am enjoying your trip report and highly recommend it others. It's an eye-opener.

Addendum: I will be starting page 17 on my next visit.

[Shadow]

I am reading through your trip report (point 4) and am on page 8 of 52. You write well. But reading about this antidate stuff is blood curdling.

Although I am going to keep reading through the rest of posts, I just wanted to comment that I am enjoying your trip report and highly recommend it others. It's an eye-opener.

Addendum: I will be starting page 17 on my next visit.

I have actually met the women from Antidate. They were not at all that bad. At the time many women who denied a man were labeled as scammer, and Antidate decided to give an opposite opinion, labeling men who would not commit as sex tourists.

[2tallbill]

I have actually met the women from Antidate. They were not at all that bad. At the time many women who denied a man were labeled as scammer, and Antidate decided to give an opposite opinion, labeling men who would not commit as sex tourists.

I know a few of them as friends too. The website had the potential to do so much
good and as individuals I got along with many of them just fine but when they got
together as a group, they became like a coven of necromancers each drawing out
the worst of each other.

I soon realized that there was no profitable reason to continue engaging with that group.

[Boethius]

Hmm.  I read antidate, and I don't think the women brought out the worst in each other.  I think their forum was very Soviet in its outlook.  There was another forum, U.S. based, which also gave a lot of advice, both to FSUW who had settled in the US, and to women in the FSU who were looking for/had found American husbands.  It could be very interesting, particularly in some of its more mercenary discussions.

[Boethius]

I missed your post, japtats. Here's some news for you: I don't care what you think.

If you are going to try to insult or badger me, try to at least show some creativity. Your comments are lame.

I don't think he was trying to insult you.  On the contrary, actually, although I disagree with his advice. 

[2tallbill]

I don't think he was trying to insult you.  On the contrary, actually, although I disagree with his advice.

Young people sometimes give me unsolicited advice. I usually listen politely
and move on. I rarely take offense to what they say because, they don't even
know what they don't know.

They have such a small amount of experience to draw from that it limits what
they see as options and/or solutions. They tend to believe everything is black
or white but it's because their lack of life experience to draw upon.

I would advise the OP to read everything and not take offense. The advice is
free and some advice will be better than others.

Udachi!

Bill

 

[Shadow]

Young people sometimes give me unsolicited advice. I usually listen politely
and move on. I rarely take offense to what they say because, they don't even
know what they don't know.

 

I take a different approach. All advice I take at face value, regardless of who gives it. When I disagree I will give my arguments.While this can lead to discussion, it works better than ignoring the advice given.

[2tallbill]

I take a different approach. All advice I take at face value, regardless of who gives it.
When I disagree I will give my arguments.While this can lead to discussion, it works
better than ignoring the advice given.

A young person once told me that my now Russian wife (then fiancée) is
only interested in me as a means to be allowed into the USA and will
leave me very soon after she arrives.

I have limited time in my day and very little interest in the opinions of
youngsters with no knowledge of the situation and even less of a desire
to argue with them about that which they know not.

If I had more time, maybe I would have engaged with them.

There was a woman my age or a little older behind me trying to get my attention
while standing in a ridiculously long line at the post office sending my passport
off for a Russian visa.

Upon learning that I was going to Russia she warned me about the perils
of possibly meeting Russian women. She suggested that I should be interested
in her daughter standing next to her with a newborn baby. The daughter flashed
a smile at me.

I was stuck in a barely moving line and I still had no desire to argue with them or
ask why a woman with a newborn baby was available romantically for any reason
in North Dakota. I asked her how many times has she visited Russia, how well could
she speak Russian (zero on all counts).

I kindly explained that Russians just like American's weren't all the same and that
there were many cool things to see where I was traveling. There was no advantage
that I could see to debate anything with her. I went into friendly banter mode instead.

[ML]

. . . or ask why a woman with a newborn baby was available romantically for any reason
in North Dakota.

Very simple . . . the bears were in hibernation.

[2tallbill]

Very simple . . . the bears were in hibernation.

The young woman was probably not a good judge of character or she
wouldn't have a newborn AND be interested in me romantically. She
was also twenty plus years younger than I was, her mother was my
age (and did not age well).