36yo looking for a wife

[Bobimy]

hello,
I'm single 36  years old guy, never-married, tech-emplyed from italy. Looking for a wife. I registered here because I need some advices on how to move for the best and avoid scams. I'm planning a trip to Eastern Europe /Russia and would like to have some info. Do you have some suggestions on how to create some contacts in Russia? Online chats are okay?
Thank you very much! 

[Gator]

Bobimy,

Welcome to RWD! 

I am an old-timer with a son your age.  I found my true love years ago through a free introduction service.  The other option is to pay a fee to REPUTABLE agencies and contact women from their catalogues.

DO NOT work with any agency where you pay by the letter.  That is a big "NO NO!"

Read the RWD Ten Commandments: 

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=ezportal;sa=page;p=34

Some of the younger men who are currently endeavoring to meet and date RW will have specific suggestions for websites.

[BillyB]

Welcome to the forum Bobimy. Two prolific posters here are living in Italy, BC and Sandro. I've touch a little Italian products last weekend. Bought Fiocchi ammo and fired it from my .38 special.

It's okay to have online chats as long as you're not doing it through an agency. If you are thinking about using some agency, tell us the name and we can let you know if it's good or bad. Do lots of reading here before spending your money. We may save you thousands.

Many of the women who you will be writing too may think there is a problem with you. Being 36 yo and never married is an indication to them that no woman wants you or that you are a playboy and can't make a commitment to marriage. Be prepared to have some explaining to do.

[dragonkid]

Being 36 yo and never married is an indication to them that no woman wants you

Just say you just didn't find the right person, you don't want to rush marriage, you want to just ensure the person you marry will be your last. "I like to be cautious at times when dating abroad, but if i meet the right person, i would happily proceed and give my time, energy, and emotions to the right person".

Your age is perfect i am in my early 20's, and the women don't believe i want to get married. You need to ensure they know you are serious, do this by being deep, but at the same time show your flaws, like how you are cautious, they will be constantly looking for what is wrong with you. Give off minor ones, and misdirect their attention, otherwise like billy said, they will probably sum you up as a Casanova in your younger days, what changed now? Being cautious tells them you just didn't meet the right person, tell them what the right person is for you, go deep.

[msmobyone]

Welcome

Bobimy!

Gator got in first with good advice.

As a fellow European, with plenty of trips to Former Soviet Union( FSU)  nations, you start with an advantage.... Italians are seen as classy by many Russian speaking wonen.

Good luck.

[msmobyone]

Being 36 yo and never married is an indication to them that no woman wants you or that you are a playboy and can't make a commitment to marriage. Be prepared to have some explaining to do.

????!!!!!

Nonsense.. My intended is nearer to fifty than she cares to remember and never married.

Not being wanted was certainly NOT a reason for not settliing down ))

[BillyB]

Not being wanted was certainly NOT a reason for not settliing down ))

It takes two to make a decision to settle down. If Bobimy looks like a model or has a great personality, he won't have a problem to settle down. Then the ladies will assume he could be a playboy and not serious. One of the best reasons he can give a woman is that in his younger days he was focused on education and career. There's even a flaw with that excuse. Regardless of what a man is busy with during his younger days, if he's not trying to get into women's pants, ladies my assume his equipment may not be working properly. I would have the same questions on my mind about women that didn't have relationships or date much in their younger years.

[ML]

Regardless of what a man is busy with during his younger days, if he's not trying to get into women's pants, ladies my assume his equipment may not be working properly. I would have the same questions on my mind about women that didn't have relationships or date much in their younger years.

I used to think that (your women reference) also.

Then I came across a couple of women who said they had virtually zero interest in sex until they were over age 30.  And then (over time) they turned into almost sex addicts.

[BillyB]

Then I came across a couple of women who said they had virtually zero interest in sex until they were over age 30.  And then (over time) they turned into almost sex addicts.

Hormones can change and make a woman who has little interest in sex in her younger days into a nympho in her later years and vise versa. For men, their sex drive usually goes downhill after their 20's.

[msmobyone]

It takes two to make a decision to settle down. If Bobimy looks like a model or has a great personality, he won't have a problem to settle down. Then the ladies will assume he could be a playboy and not serious. One of the best reasons he can give a woman is that in his younger days he was focused on education and career. There's even a flaw with that excuse. Regardless of what a man is busy with during his younger days, if he's not trying to get into women's pants, ladies my assume his equipment may not be working properly. I would have the same questions on my mind about women that didn't have relationships or date much in their younger years.

That's a lot of words when, ''I made one hell of a sweeping generalisation'' would suffice

[ML]

Hormones can change and make a woman who has little interest in sex in her younger days into a nympho in her later years and vise versa. For men, their sex drive usually goes downhill after their 20's.

Yes, I know most women become best at sex in age range 35-50 or so.

But I was talking about women who really had zero interest in sex in their younger years . . . not just lower interest.  There is a big difference.

[BillyB]

That's a lot of words when, ''I made one hell of a sweeping generalisation'' would suffice

"no woman wants you or that you are a playboy" isn't exactly "one" sweeping generalization. Smart people do try to read a person's past history when evaluating them. All I'm saying is Bobimy needs to understand and prepare for that. I can't remember one woman I've dated that didn't ask about previous women in my life.

But I was talking about women who really had zero interest in sex in their younger years . . .

I know two women that had zero interest in sex in their younger years but loved it after their first child is born. They told me it was because of hormonal changes. In another case one woman told me she loved sex when young but lost her sex drive after her first child was born.

[LiveFromUkraine]

????!!!!!

Nonsense.. My intended is nearer to fifty than she cares to remember and never married.

Not being wanted was certainly NOT a reason for not settliing down ))

It doesn't matter, what Billy said is true for the most part.  If someone hasn't been married by 30, it's typically looked at as if something is wrong with the person.

[Boethius]

But the OP could explain that in his culture, it is not unusual for men to remain single if they have not met their other half.  He could say that is why he is looking abroad, as he's been unable to find his other half in his own country, and he has no intention of marrying twice.

[LiveFromUkraine]

But the OP could explain that in his culture, it is not unusual for men to remain single if they have not met their other half.  He could say that is why he is looking abroad, as he's been unable to find his other half in his own country, and he has no intention of marrying twice.

I agree, a reasonable answer should be enough for most people.  I didn't marry until after 30.  I was asked but I just said I worked and traveled too much for a family when younger. 

[SANDRO43]

But the OP could explain that in his culture, it is not unusual for men to remain single if they have not met their other half.

It was not in our culture until comparatively recently, when unemployment swelled the ranks of stay-at-home sons considerably. In my time (Jurassic? ) our implicit cursus honorum was: finish your studies, get a job, and get married.

[fathertime]

But the OP could explain that in his culture, it is not unusual for men to remain single if they have not met their other half.  He could say that is why he is looking abroad, as he's been unable to find his other half in his own country, and he has no intention of marrying twice.

I agree, a reasonable answer should be enough for most people.  I didn't marry until after 30.  I was asked but I just said I worked and traveled too much for a family when younger. 

Both of these make perfect sense.   I think many, if not most women would get this, and if the corresponding actions of the man involved align with a man looking for a genuine long term relationship or marriage, then the woman would get over initial concerns she may or may not have.


Fathertime! 

[msmobyone]

"no woman wants you or that you are a playboy" isn't exactly "one" sweeping generalization.

''Being 36 yo and never married is an indication to them that no woman wants you''

THAT is what you said...  THAT is why I picked you up on such nonsense

If you had posted,

 ''Smart people do try to read a person's past history when evaluating them. All I'm saying is Bobimy needs to understand and prepare for that. I can't remember one woman I've dated that didn't ask about previous women in my life.''...

I wouldn't have bothered....


Personally speaking, I ran my own biz and worked long hours - then sailed at weekends....I never met someone that excited me enough to settle down or they weren't interested enough in me.  I married at 31.


Not 'being wanted' didn't appear - to me - to be a factor    I was content to the 'best man' - 13 times.

[LiveFromUkraine]

''Being 36 yo and never married is an indication to them that no woman wants you''

THAT is what you said...  THAT is why I picked you up on such nonsense

If you had posted,

 ''Smart people do try to read a person's past history when evaluating them. All I'm saying is Bobimy needs to understand and prepare for that. I can't remember one woman I've dated that didn't ask about previous women in my life.''...

I wouldn't have bothered....


Personally speaking, I ran my own biz and worked long hours - then sailed at weekends....I never met someone that excited me enough to settle down or they weren't interested enough in me.  I married at 31.


Not 'being wanted' didn't appear - to me - to be a factor    I was content to the 'best man' - 13 times.

I don't even know what you're arguing about any longer.   Is there a Moby rant translation app we can download?


What he said was true.  Don't tell me, if he had used the word "something something" you wouldn't have bothered but since he used "something something" you had issues and decided to argue. 

Really, Moby, no one here believes you didn't have enough time to meet women.  I can only imagine the amount of forums you argue on.  Or should I say trying to "win" on. 

[LiveFromUkraine]

Both of these make perfect sense.   I think many, if not most women would get this, and if the corresponding actions of the man involved align with a man looking for a genuine long term relationship or marriage, then the woman would get over initial concerns she may or may not have.


Fathertime!

It's strange to me.  It's better to be divorced than never married.  If you're divorce you had at least someone willing to marry you.  Being single means something is wrong with you since no one wanted to marry you.   What is it like in Colombia?


I don't think Bobimy will have a problem.  At least he is aware it may come up.

[fathertime]

It's strange to me.  It's better to be divorced than never married.  If you're divorce you had at least someone willing to marry you.  Being single means something is wrong with you since no one wanted to marry you.   What is it like in Colombia?


I don't think Bobimy will have a problem.  At least he is aware it may come up.

...and there is some additional validity to what billy said....many guys 30 or 35+ are perfectly content and well adjusted for whatever life throws at them..... but there are also a good percentage of guys that never married that do have genuine character issues that might make them a bad bet for a marriage minded woman.   So in that sense it is probably good that a woman exercise reasonable caution to try to determine who is who. 


 I have several friends in their late 40's now who have never married, to this point they each have things about them that would make marriage a tough sell and tough from them to handle.  I used to mention South America, Asia, or FSU to them, but I finally realized that there are certain guys that just aren't likely to match up well with a woman...they are better left to sleep in, drink their beer, and do exactly what they want, when they want...actually doesn't sound too bad!


Fathertime!   

[Trenchcoat]

hello,
I'm single 36  years old guy, never-married, tech-emplyed from italy. Looking for a wife. I registered here because I need some advices on how to move for the best and avoid scams. I'm planning a trip to Eastern Europe /Russia and would like to have some info. Do you have some suggestions on how to create some contacts in Russia? Online chats are okay?
Thank you very much!

Well I'm a similar age to you, and when ask the question why am I looking for a foreign woman I just state that women are career minded these days in the UK and not brought up to be interested in family, which is essentially the truth.

To your question I would say they are some pay monthly sites you could join and though many of these are the choice and far cheaper than PPL don't expect them to be free from scammers doing a scam of their own back. NEVER SEND ANY MONEY TO A GIRL OR YOU WILL NOT KNOW IF SHE IS INTO YOU OR JUST WANTS YOUR MONEY. For Example if she asks for travel money to travel to see you in FSU when you are there send her the train tickets (not any planes) as you can order them online nowadays. Make sure these scammer women know the days of pulling all these regular scams are over. Also, no clothes shopping trips until you are both serious or she is paying.

Now the one to watch for is women after freebies like a free holiday, even in their own country until you are serious about her (a soft scam gaining in popularity). Even though something is cheap to you it is likely worth more to her as Russia/Ukraine is dirt poor. Take any form of money or value out of the equation as much as possible until your certain she's genuine and serious. Ukraine is full of women that see WM as easy prey for money, be aware of that, Russia somewhat also. Some guys in here met there wives years ago when there was less of a scamming business, now it is rampant because many WM don't realise the true worth of money out there. Research every girl you get seriously interested in (VK etc). It takes a few months to really get to know what your dealing with and for me learning from there.

[BillyB]

''Being 36 yo and never married is an indication to them that no woman wants you''

THAT is what you said...  THAT is why I picked you up on such nonsense

You remove the "or" and everything else following out of the quote and say I made one sweeping generalization. It's your fault you're upset with what I said. Nobody else here has a problem with it.

[ML]

Well I'm a similar age to you, and when ask the question why am I looking for a foreign woman I just state that women are career minded these days in the UK and not brought up to be interested in family, which is essentially the truth.

I think you are kidding yourself if you don't think the FSUW aren't the same.

Sure they want to have a child, but then it is typical that the grandmother watches the child while the mother returns to work fairly quickly.

And they don't all work just out of necessity either, although it may be a necessity in many (most) cases.

My spouse and I don't need additional money, and she is in her 40s . . . and she still wants to work.

[msmobyone]

I don't even know what you're arguing about any longer.   

I am unable to help someone if even the bold text quoting of BillyB's initial sweeping statement...which he subsequently qualified...is beyond you.

What he said was true.

In response to my querying his first post... YES!


 

Really, Moby, no one here believes you didn't have enough time to meet women.  I can only imagine the amount of forums you argue on.  Or should I say trying to "win" on.

Fair enough! Your record re interpreting my life continues to be 'spot on'

[supraman]

At 40 ,when i started looking outside of Oz- never previously married or previous children - i got used to being called "A man of many pillows"  By FSUW. Which was funny at first but did work against me .
 My opinion only --- i did not have a head like a smashed crab
                          ---- was not fat
                          --- worked for myself
      Which some how worked against me with some ladies from FSU .

  Due to working too many hours and only mixing with long term friends who all had children young - i simply never met any women worth marrying . With periods of dating and being single by choice . I also had maybe to high a standard of woman i wanted -So my friends told me
   My wife and her mother were sure i was a player or even a scammer ! After a few days she figured out i was telling the truth all along .
  The only advice i can give that works for every one is -- Stay true to who you are and what you want in life and a wife  .. All the best in your search.
   

[Anotherkiwi]

Yet another one-hit wonder who disappeared as soon as he posted his query - and hasn't been back.

[LiveFromUkraine]

I am unable to help someone if even the bold text quoting of BillyB's initial sweeping statement...which he subsequently qualified...is beyond you.

That wasn't a quote, it was a hack.  You didn't fully quote Billy.  Anyway, I and now another have confirmed Billy's statement based on our experiences.  You lose.   

At 40 ,when i started looking outside of Oz- never previously married or previous children - i got used to being called "A man of many pillows"  By FSUW. Which was funny at first but did work against me .

Thanks for the post supraman.  I'm sure they were just commenting on your well rested look.   

[supraman]

Thanks for the post supraman.  I'm sure they were just commenting on your well rested look.    [/font]
[/quote]

LOl,

[Trenchcoat]

Yet another one-hit wonder who disappeared as soon as he posted his query - and hasn't been back.

Yes strange really, one wonders what they do with all the good advice we give them Hope it doesn't go to waste

For me I found getting into this venture, many questions needed to be answered along the way and I'm only six months in, perhaps it gets less as you go along and get more experienced. Though I can only think many of these guys lose heart and give up easily as soon as they hear any bad news. Thing is I think you have to accept that anything in life that at first appears rosy having bad news under the surface that should be expected, it's life. When I first got a good response rate on Elena's Models I thought where is the downside turns out from what I see that only about half of them if that aren't there on a scam/soft scam of some sort. No doubt in other pay monthly websites it's the same or worse, you just have to accept the bad downsides and deal with it I think. I can't believe these guys carry on without asking more questions as each circumstance can throw up new scenarios etc which even reading through the tons of threads on here may not cover it if one even had the time available.

[BillyB]

I am unable to help someone if even the bold text quoting of BillyB's initial sweeping statement...which he subsequently qualified...is beyond you.

msmobyone, try to make an effort to quote the entire sentence instead of cutting off a few words and again explain to everybody here how I made ONE sweeping generalization.

At 40 ,when i started looking outside of Oz- never previously married or previous children - i got used to being called "A man of many pillows"  By FSUW. Which was funny at first but did work against me .
 

msmobyone seemed to forget I said men in your situation can be labeled playboys. Being labeled a playboy is better than being labeled a loser. Some FSU women expect a man in his 30's to be experienced and wouldn't hold it against him.

While a man's past history isn't important when making friends, for women it is when getting into relationships. Men don't care as much but most women do care who they are putting between their legs for years to come.

[msmobyone]

msmobyone, try to make an effort to quote the entire sentence instead of cutting off a few words and again explain to everybody here how I made ONE sweeping generalization.

BillyB, Perhaps thou dost protest too much?

''Being 36 yo and never married is an indication to them that no woman wants you'' ...

Do you dispute posting this as a reason ? ...

Omitting the rest of your sentence starting with 'or' - which was simply another 'reason' you offered - didn't change the daftness of the first reason offered.

[BillyB]

Do you dispute posting this as a reason ? ...

I can't make myself anymore clearer in my last post. My dispute is with you saying I made ONE sweeping generalization. I made a simple request for you to quote the whole sentence and then try to explain to everybody here how I made ONE sweeping generalization. You are avoiding the request. It seems I struck a nerve saying RW may think a guy is a loser nobody wants if he is in his 30's and never been married to the point you didn't read the rest of what I wrote that the guy may be accused of a playboy instead of a loser. Go after the RW who think like that, not me. Other guys have stepped forward to indicate that RW think like that too based off their experience. This stuff has been talked about years on this forum. You're the only guy that seems to disagree.

[GatoMoon]

For Example if she asks for travel money to travel to see you in FSU when you are there send her the train tickets (not any planes)

If the lady still want to fly to Kiev (say from Odessa) rather than being on the train  (eg quicker and more comfortable), I would still think she is NOT really interested in meeting you - just want 'luxury' life at your own expenses.   Remember you are flying ALL THE WAY to Ukraine to meet her.

After all, all Ukrainians women are used to living in 'hard life'.  If you were local, she would've met you by cheapest method

[fathertime]

BillyB, Perhaps thou dost protest too much?

''Being 36 yo and never married is an indication to them that no woman wants you'' ...

Do you dispute posting this as a reason ? ...

Omitting the rest of your sentence starting with 'or' - which was simply another 'reason' you offered - didn't change the daftness of the first reason offered.

Your brain must not work too well today.  Billy IS correct, in some cases being 36 and never married CAN BE because no woman wants you...there are other explanations as well which have already been mentioned.  It is obvious to everyone but you, that was what he was saying. 


Fathertime! 

[alex330]

Like many say it is suspicious for women in the FSU. Just being a Western man raises suspicions to begin with. Why is he not able to find a woman in his own country? Is he a sex tourist? What flaws does he have that are not apparent? I was 36 when I met my wife and all these crossed her mind. True to FSUW form she did not hold back the questioning.

[ML]

Less than 5% of FSUW ever questioned me about why I  was looking in Ukraine.  None ever questioned about why I didn't choose an AW.  A few did tell me why AW were not good; sounded like they had picked these ideas up from other AM.

[Bobimy]

...
Many of the women who you will be writing too may think there is a problem with you. Being 36 yo and never married is an indication to them that no woman wants you or that you are a playboy and can't make a commitment to marriage. Be prepared to have some explaining to do.

I'm Love-Shy. Hope this explains everything.

Have a nice day
Best Regards

Bobimy

[BillyB]

I'm Love-Shy. Hope this explains everything.

Not really. What does it mean? Are you shy in getting into a serious relationship or when it comes to talking to girls, you're shy?

Have a nice day

You have a very nice day. Don't wait another year between making posts. You don't have to be shy with us!

[Bobimy]

more than one and a half year ago I started this thread... I'm still in the same situation... I'm not have been able to find a wife... btw I'm unemployed right now (welfare benefit will come to an end in a couple of months...) I know this sounds like I'm a pathtetic loser...I live with my parents ... I have a master degree in Electronics Engineer which turned out to be completely useless in this economy (education is overrated IMHO)...  do you think I could stil have a chance to score a wife by being unemployed?
I'm approaching 38 now... never had a relationship before due to shyness... I'm starting feeling really depressed

Have a nice day

[Boethius]

I don't think your unemployment will be an issue if you can still support a wife if you look in Ukraine or the Central Asian republics (lots of Slavs there), and look for someone roughly in your age group.  But they will view your lack of relationships with suspicion, so I suggest you say you have never found a woman you wanted to marry. 
Have you considered moving?  You could get work in other countries, I assume.

[BillyB]

do you think I could stil have a chance to score a wife by being unemployed?

You should try to score a job first. If your priorities aren't in order, a wife won't stay with you very long.

[Trenchcoat]

Bobimy, BillyB is right you need a job or some form of income other than benefits. If your benefits are going to come to an end and you are going to be entirely dependant on your parents/family then you will be of no use to FSW as the way I hear it they have enough of that there. Even on a low paid job though you will likely earn way more than a lot of FSW who may be on only 200 Euros a month if that. Trying to explain your situation to most FSW will just be painful in itself, most will assume you have some form of income of your own and can support them somewhat not the other way around. Getting your act together is more important to you now than looking for a FSW. In any case have you contacted any online and what did they say?

[Boethius]

Even on benefits, life in Italy is more comfortable than lots of places in Ukraine.

[BillyB]

Even on benefits, life in Italy is more comfortable than lots of places in Ukraine.

Even if one can live comfortably on social benefits, most women will not respect a guy if refuses to work. Bobimy is an electronics engineer and if that line of work doesn't need him, he needs to find another line of work that does need him.