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Author Topic: Relationship is on edge right now...How do I save it?  (Read 23914 times)

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Offline Avatar72

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Re: Relationship is on edge right now...How do I save it?
« Reply #75 on: September 28, 2016, 06:42:36 AM »
You can end that by posting photos of her.  There are plenty of men at RWD who detest AW and will gladly volunteer to ridicule her.

and she would deserve it too. But given my far superior maturity and judgement over her, I'll refrain. I would definitely be reaching for the popcorn though.

Offline Avatar72

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Re: Relationship is on edge right now...How do I save it?
« Reply #76 on: September 28, 2016, 06:47:47 AM »
You've said nothing to be ashamed of.

Your ex wife has nothing better to do with her time? She is probably some combination
of curious and jealous.


I had a smile on my face all day knowing she wasted her weekend visiting god knows how many sites, wasting god knows how much time trying to find information about me...her or whatever. The obsession was amusing. That's a lot of control I was given over her and I didn't have to do anything.
i didn't tell her anything other than I was introducing her to my kids (online only of course). This was required by divorce decree

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Relationship is on edge right now...How do I save it?
« Reply #77 on: September 28, 2016, 07:04:09 AM »
and she would deserve it too. But given my far superior maturity and judgement over her, I'll refrain. I would definitely be reaching for the popcorn though.

There's no need to post photos of her. You've got kids and you need to peaceably interact
with their mother and there is no benefit to create additional hostilities. Your goal should be
to be happy. If you were both happy together you wouldn't be divorced.

I have a beautiful, thin, educated, sexy, and very loving Russian wife who makes me
incredibly happy. I didn't pursue her to drive my cRaZy ex-wife nuts, I did it to make
myself happy (and it's working).

Udachi!

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline Gator

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Re: Relationship is on edge right now...How do I save it?
« Reply #78 on: September 28, 2016, 07:26:38 AM »
He has children.  Given that fact, going scorched earth is selfish and unwise.

You are correct.

Offline ML

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Re: Relationship is on edge right now...How do I save it?
« Reply #79 on: September 28, 2016, 07:32:29 AM »
Hey everyone.! Say hello to my (American)  alcoholic ex wife.  She is trolling this message thread and sharing it with her friends.

I am lost here.  Looking back over the last several posts, I see nothing posted by an ex-wife.

So what are you referring to ?
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline ML

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Re: Relationship is on edge right now...How do I save it?
« Reply #80 on: September 28, 2016, 07:36:16 AM »
i didn't tell her anything other than I was introducing her to my kids (online only of course). This was required by divorce decree

Again, WTF are you talking about?

Why would you have to introduce an ex-wife to YOUR kids?

Use of the word 'my' and not 'our' indicates these children are not related to your ex, and if you are 'introducing' it means they have never been in contact with her before.

So why would you have to now introduce them?

Or are you just very sloppy and confusing in your writing ?
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline Gator

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Re: Relationship is on edge right now...How do I save it?
« Reply #81 on: September 28, 2016, 07:40:08 AM »

i didn't tell her anything other than I was introducing her to my kids (online only of course). This was required by divorce decree

I am assuming you and your ex- are the parents of these kids, and you and your ex- share joint custody.  What are the ages of your children? .   

Careful.  Your ex- may contaminate, purposefully or subconsciously, the relationship between the children and Dad's new woman.  I imagine you have already had long talks with your children about your FSUW, plus talks with your FSUW about your children.      Does your ex- have a new man?

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Relationship is on edge right now...How do I save it?
« Reply #82 on: September 28, 2016, 08:22:46 AM »
I am assuming you and your ex- are the parents of these kids, and you and your ex- share joint custody.  What are the ages of your children? .   

Careful.  Your ex- may contaminate, purposefully or subconsciously, the relationship between the children and Dad's new woman.  I imagine you have already had long talks with your children about your FSUW, plus talks with your FSUW about your children.      Does your ex- have a new man?

Gator,

Since his ex is reading this thread, I would suggest that he doesn't provide additional
personal information regarding her or them or to speculate on his ex wife's romantic
life or lack thereof.

No need to theorize if his wife is banging the pool boy or the entire local Jr College
football team. She's the old news and his FSUW is the new news. Ex-wife's are
experts at twisting any sort of stuff like this around and starting a fight with it.
Peace with the ex-wife for the kids is what I recommend.

That's my opinion for what it's worth.

Udachi!

Bill 
« Last Edit: September 28, 2016, 08:26:16 AM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline Avatar72

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Re: Relationship is on edge right now...How do I save it?
« Reply #83 on: September 28, 2016, 12:33:45 PM »
Like I said,  I'm not doing it.  I won't sink to her level.
Other than that,  my continuing saga is going great!!

Offline Jumper

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Re: Relationship is on edge right now...How do I save it?
« Reply #84 on: September 30, 2016, 11:39:36 AM »
Quote
If she does in fact have accounting experience, that is one of the best of the jobs to find employment here in USA.

ML covered all the variances of *economist in the FSU* well

 My wife is an accountant, she had a great deal of experience  there
for a large o'blast (region /county).
Like here, there are various things falling under a more  general term to the public:  accounting , comptroller, actuary etc. etc. etc. are different, but the public tends to lump the professions together.
Anyway , here her FSU degree , will not transfer  without basically going thru the bulk of studies again.
However, she has no problem finding work here.




.

Offline Chicagoguy

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Re: Relationship is on edge right now...How do I save it?
« Reply #85 on: September 30, 2016, 03:08:52 PM »
Avatar72  -  all good advice here. When I first began this journey we seldom had such good advice. At least I don't remember any. So I had to learn as I went along. I started with buying my wife a round trip air ticket so she would not feel trapped. It was not long until she explained her situation and I began to see the light. Just because I felt all my intentions were pure there was no way she could be sure. We were both retired and to begin new jobs would be very difficult. Especially given our ages and the fact that she did not speak English. She did have a condo to return to but wanted to make this a success.

Soon I came to realize how big a sacrifice she had made. My wife had died over 1 year before she came here so there was nothing hanging over our head there. But I had 3 older daughters to consider. They were all working and living separately but were surprised at my decision and wary. I tried to do almost anything I could do to help her acclimate but for her it was not easy. But she worked very hard at it. Many of us don't realize how different the cultures can be. And Russian is mostly European leaning but it must be doubly difficult with Asian marriages.

Now 7 years later I can see how hard she worked. 2 weeks ago she became a U.S. citizen and has a passport. Also to help her along she goes home for at least 6 weeks every year to visit her Russian family and friends. I had never given any thought to things like this and I had to change my ways. Plus I was lucky that my now older daughters are crazy about her plus my last wife's family [ 11 brothers and sisters ] like her very much. She is family to them.

It seems to me we have more advice here on how to begin than how to sustain our foreign adventures.


Offline BC

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Re: Relationship is on edge right now...How do I save it?
« Reply #86 on: October 01, 2016, 01:25:46 AM »
Congrats to you both Chicagoguy!  Great to hear about folks succeeding in this venture.

Quote
It seems to me we have more advice here on how to begin than how to sustain our foreign adventures.

Yes, meeting and getting married is certainly the easiest part.  After that it's very difficult to make suggestions as each couple faces different challenges and usually only one side of the story is presented.

Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: Relationship is on edge right now...How do I save it?
« Reply #87 on: October 01, 2016, 05:53:48 PM »
Now 7 years later I can see how hard she worked. 2 weeks ago she became a U.S. citizen and has a passport.

Congratulations!  :clapping: :couple:

Of course the rest of your post is important, too, but this is what everyone on this journey sees as the ultimate goal - for you to find someone; take that initial relationship all the way through to marriage; and eventually have her join you as a citizen of whatever country you call your own.

 

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