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I recently returned from a 4 week visit to Kharkiv, Ukraine.
While there, I met with 12 women (all in their 40s) for first dates. 11 of the women I had contacted on monthly pay websites. No marriage agencies were used. The 12th woman I met quite by chance, as she happened to be my next door neighbor in the apartment building. A very long and interesting story in itself.
Of the 12 first dates, I had second dates with 9 of them. Then third dates with 6 women. And 4 or more dates with 5 women.
Now back home, I am continuing to correspond with 4 of the women, including the next door neighbor. I will be meeting with all 4 of them (as things stand now) on future trips.
About Kharkiv:
Be prepared for the airport. It is called 'International' but probably the only such in the world without a toilet in the main lobby area. So as you exit the plane and stand in the passport control area, look to the left and notice the single toilet there. USE IT. For once you go through passport control, get your luggage and go into the main lobby . . . there will be no toilet. Not fun if your taxi is waiting for you and your helper insists you must get in and go to your apartment right now.
There are two very large parks in Kharkiv. Shevchenko Park and Gorky Park. Shevchenko is next to Freedom Square in the very center of town on Sumskya street. Gorky is also on Sumskya street about a mile and a half to the northeast from city center.
Both parks are interesting, if a bit shabby looking. As I was told, in Soviet times (since everyone had a job), the parks were well maintained. Now they are not.
Shevchenko has a Zoo, Dolphin arena, water falls on the far southwest end, some fountains, Cinema, an adjacent Opera House and several fairly large restaurants along with several outlets selling fast foods, drinks, etc.
Gorky has a main center paved road with many fast food restaurants and game type amusements along the side. A nice water fountain and outdoor performance stage is at the end of that main road. A circus or carnival type setup is further on to the left and right of that main road.
Gorky also has a ski lift type of contraption that takes you on a ride across a valley to a hill on the far side. A fairly interesting ride, even if you don't really go very high or see much. It is at the far northeast corner of the park. A large restaurant and cinema are also in that part of the park.
I had an apartment near Pushkin Metro station, and I can highly recommend that area of town. There are many, many good restaurants there. Kharkiv is known as the city of students, and there are several universities near Pushkin Metro including the Law School. Word has it the law students come from families of above average earnings, so those students apparently can afford to eat out often. Hence the plethora of good restaurants in that area.
I actually like Kharkiv quite a bit. Mainly because I had very good experience in meeting several high quality women. But also, I liked that it was very easy to navigate around the town. Like many FSU cities, it is fairly compact relative to USA cities of similar population size (about 1.5 million). There are three metro lines.
A downside to Kharkiv is that the sidewalks are terribly dirty (except for the very center around Freedom Square.) A short walk, and your nicely brushed shoes will look like you have walked through a cornfield after a harvest.
Also, there is relatively little to do there of a cultural nature (I am comparing it to Kyiv). I do not go out to nightclubs, so can't comment on that. Our Norwegian poster is an expert on the nightclubs and likes one there (can't remember the name).
Also, be aware that the residents will proudly (but falsely) proclaim that their square is the largest in Europe. They don't like it when you tell them it is only the 5th largest in Europe (Google it).
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Ah, you just took me down memory lane there talking about the parks. I spent many days walking and hanging out in both of those. If you are standing near the obligatory statue of Lenin there in the square and look in the opposite direction of the big gov't building, you'll see a radio station. My flat was just behind the station (spent just under 3 months living there). Love that city.
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I was supposed to meet my now wife at the statue of Lenin in that square but we missed each others email by a couple of hours and she never got my message so I had to wait another month. I like Kharkiv ok but would rather spend my time in Lviv. The first girl I went to see was from Kharkiv as well. I've walked all over that place. We married in Kharkov. My first apartment overlooked Rosa Luxumberg Square. The second had a nice view of some big clock and the third was near the Zags office near Lenin.
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As I was told, in Soviet times (since everyone had a job), the parks were well maintained. Now they are not.
Same in Kyiv. Women would be cleaning the streets with willow brooms at 6 am. However, what you likely were not told was that all those women were either from villages, had moved to the cities, and took those jobs because that was the only way they could get on a list to obtain, eventually, an apartment in the city, or they had been in jail (usually on some trumped up charge), and those were the only jobs they could find.
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Both parks are interesting, if a bit shabby looking. As I was told, in Soviet times (since everyone had a job), the parks were well maintained. Now they are not.
I was there 4 years ago, and thought it okay. I have noticed all over the FSU that a high percentage of the population are litterbugs. One day we were behind a police car, and the occupants threw trash out the window.
With the compression of municipal budgets in America, our parks will soon be the same.
A downside to Kharkiv is that the sidewalks are terribly dirty (except for the very center around Freedom Square.) A short walk, and your nicely brushed shoes will look like you have walked through a cornfield after a harvest.
Isn't this true for almost all of the FSU. Hence, the Russian custom of removing one's shoes at the entrance to one's flat.
Also, there is relatively little to do there of a cultural nature (I am comparing it to Kyiv).
Both in Kharkiv and Dnepropetrovsk, I found some classical music concerts. There were other events in Russian language; however, my language barrier eliminated them.
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The 12th woman I met quite by chance, as she happened to be my next door neighbor in the apartment building. A very long and interesting story in itself.
And....do tell please.
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I recently returned from a 4 week visit to Kharkiv, Ukraine.
While there, I met with 12 women (all in their 40s) for first dates. 11 of the women I had contacted on monthly pay websites.
Of the 12 first dates, I had second dates with 9 of them. Then third dates with 6 women. And 4 or more dates with 5 women.
Now back home, I am continuing to correspond with 4 of the women, including the next door neighbor. I will be meeting with all 4 of them (as things stand now) on future trips.
ManLooking, I apologize in advance for what I am about to start in your thread.
You and I share some key similarities. I am a WMVM man and so are you. As you did, I used monthly pay sites. The same as you, I focused on women in their 40s. Thrice I made 4-week WMVM trips. Having the luxury of taking 4 weeks off suggests that either you are combining the trip with business (e. g., Pike) or you are retired or semi-retired (e. g., me).
You and differ in one regard. After such a trip I was ready to focus on one woman. I. e., my next trip was a WOVO. Instead you are embarking on another WMVM, albeit the "many" is smaller in number.
One reason for writing a trip report is to prompt some opinions from experienced readers, particularly regarding your next step. I know that discussions with other RWD members helped me to focus.
So here comes the loaded questions: What compelled you to eliminate 8 of the 12? Why are you not in a position to choose only one? Is marriage a goal? What do you tell each of the four about your plans?
Please note that I am not saying you are wrong. Each man is different. I just hope that the WOVO crowd will restrain themselves and attempt to discuss rather than criticize in a kneejerk manner.
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And....do tell please.
First, I should note that I will try to answer nonjudgmental questions.
Sarcastic, judgemental and silly questions I will either not answer or give an equally silly answer.
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I was leaving my apt one day about a week into my trip and saw the woman next door coming out her apt door. I said to her "Good morning how are you?" She fumbled around for an answer and then said in good English, "I am fine, how are you?"
I said "I am fine also." Then I continued on down the stairs with her following me. As I got to the bottom of the stairs she said "Scuse!"
I stopped and she asked where I was from. We exchanged names and had a short conversation. She said she wanted to talk some more, but must hurry on to work at this point.
When I returned in mid-evening, there was a note on my door with her name and phone number. I sent her SMS and told her I was back in apt and could talk with her any time. In few minutes she sent reply saying she was at a meeting and would not be home until late. I replied that I would be up until around 11 PM.
At 10:00 PM I got a phone call from her. She said, "Please open your door."
I did and she explained she needed to look in on her cat and then she would be over to see me.
She arrived carrying two large parfait type glasses filled with vanilla ice cream and covered with chocolate syrup.
We had a long, nice talk. She apologized several times for her English. It wasn't too bad but she had to think a lot for several words. She said she had once been pretty good at it but hadn't had chance to practice for 15 years or so. At one point she said something about her husband, so I assumed it was a lost cause re romantic possibility. Too bad as she was quite good looking and fit right into my age bracket. She had late teenage son living in apt. I never saw him or husband.
We met several times in similar manner. She would call me on phone when she saw my kitchen light come on. Once I asked her about farmer locations to buy vegetables. She said, "There aren't such locations in this area, but I will take you tonight around 9:30PM to show you several small grocery stores in this area after I do some homework." Rather a late hour to start such a trip, but OK with me.
So we started out. At one point, when I stumbled on the uneven sidewalk she grabbed my hand to 'help steady me.' But she did not release my hand . . . and we continued to walk for an hour or more hand in hand visiting 6-7 small shops. Even when we approached our apt building again, she kept a firm hold on my hand. I thought 'what is going on here . . . Isn't she worried that her husband or son or neighbors will see?'
Now it is almost 11 PM, but she wants to bring ice cream into my apt again. And so she does. I am still perplexed about husband. During this conversation, I asked her if she had any girlfriends that might be a good match for me. She looked hurt and said: "What is wrong with me?" I said, "Well I assumed your husband may not approve." She said, "I have been divorced for 5 years."
I told her about her using the words 'my husband.' She asked how she was supposed to call him. I told her of the 'ex' prefix. She said, "Oh yes, I remember about the 'ex' part now."
And thus, I had a 12th woman to date (more seriously now, as actually we had already had several dates that I didn't really understand as dates, even though they were in her mind !!).
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What compelled you to eliminate 8 of the 12?
Any of a thousand and one reasons. The standard things. Should be no mystery there.
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ManLooking,
Good story about your neighbor. Thanks.
Sarcastic, judgemental and silly questions I will either not answer or give an equally silly answer.
Such questions (and comments) will come. Best to ignore them as in no response.
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Any of a thousand and one reasons. The standard things. Should be no mystery there.
Acceptable. Been there, done that. Just wondering if everything is perfectly clear in your mind about your next step.
Mars in his trip report gave some interesting, articulate reasons for eliminating RW, reasons that I had never considered (or would admit to ;) ). BTW, his trip report (which was entertaining) got derailed in its infancy by the judgmental crowd. Mars promptly exited. I don't blame him.
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Just wondering if everything is perfectly clear in your mind about your next step.
If anyone were to think anything was 'perfectly clear' about their own romantic pursuits, then they would be very foolish indeed.
But my next steps are to continue to correspond and talk regularly to the 4 women. We have agreed about wanting another meeting of longer consecutive days together in the fall, but not in detail as to when, where, etc. When we get into that stage, things will start to clear up with respect to who can be absent from work at what time period, for how long, etc. Then I can try to put together a trip schedule for myself.
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When I returned in mid-evening, there was a note on my door with her name and phone number.
We met several times in similar manner. She would call me on phone when she saw my kitchen light come on. Once I asked her about farmer locations to buy vegetables. She said, "There aren't such locations in this area, but I will take you tonight around 9:30PM to show you several small grocery stores in this area after I do some homework." Rather a late hour to start such a trip, but OK with me.
She's either got the hots for you or she has the hots for most men who rent that apartment. Maybe it was coincidence she left her apartment the same time you did when you first met or maybe she watched the lights turn off or listened for your door to open to make her move to see you in the hall. This seems too perfect so you have the difficult task to learn if her interest in you is genuine or not.
She looked hurt and said: "What is wrong with me?"
RW need a man's approval. If he is not making some gestures indicating she's beautiful and he's happy to be with her, she will feel rejected. You probably held back from making any serious moves with her since you thought she had a husband. Asking her if she had any friends gave her the impression you have made your decision about her.
I'll be one reading rest of the story. Good reading so far and it'll be interesting to see how you pull it off. If you ever go back for the apartment lady next door and visit other RW at the same time, I would suggest getting a different apartment so it would be easier to make your decision on one.
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Good story Manlooking. The lady next door sounds like she might be right in your wheelhouse and she's already into you like BillyB said. He also said you will not want to be back in that apartment if your plans is to follow up with the other 3 lovely ladies. That's pure RWD gold right here my friend. Find yourself another place to lay your head on your return back over. Now this is a good story. I just dont understand why more guys will not seek out and put themselves into a situation to meet other women other than just these agency types while there. Now dont do anything crazy like tell any of them that you are going to see the other 3 and will make your decision according to how well they play their cards. Save the neighbors phone number and picture for BillyB just in case. I have absolutely no doubt that Billy would have no problems with renting said apartment if he was in the neighborhood.
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She's either got the hots for you or she has the hots for most men who rent that apartment.
Maybe it was coincidence she left her apartment the same time you did when you first met or maybe she watched the lights turn off or listened for your door to open to make her move to see you in the hall. This seems too perfect so you have the difficult task to learn if her interest in you is genuine or not.
RW need a man's approval. If he is not making some gestures indicating she's beautiful and he's happy to be with her, she will feel rejected. You probably held back from making any serious moves with her since you thought she had a husband. Asking her if she had any friends gave her the impression you have made your decision about her.
I'll be one reading rest of the story. Good reading so far and it'll be interesting to see how you pull it off. If you ever go back for the apartment lady next door and visit other RW at the same time, I would suggest getting a different apartment so it would be easier to make your decision on one.
Why should I care if it were a coincidence or planned?
Anyway, I am quite sure it was unplanned because she was clearly startled when I first spoke to her in English.
And, if she had met with other guys who stayed in the apt before me, I think her English would have been more polished by the time I arrived on the scene. Further, I don't care if she did meet with X other men, whether foreign or local. The past is irrelevant, and all is fair in present time; until an engagement is formalized.
I don't understand how my problem of determining 'if her interest in you is genuine or not' is any different from determining the same with respect to any other woman anywhere in the world regardless of how we first met. Could you please explain why you think it is a unique problem in her case?
Yes, of course I held back when I thought she was married.
She did know about the other women I was seeing at the same time. We even discussed them.
But, if I return to Kharkiv and meet with women other than her on a particular trip, still probably a good idea to get apt in another location that is not 'next door' to her.
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I just don't understand why more guys will not seek out and put themselves into a situation to meet other women other than just these agency types while there. Now don't do anything crazy like tell any of them that you are going to see the other 3 and will make your decision according to how well they play their cards.
I am not sure if we can categorize the women as 'agency types' versus 'other types.'
I know for fact (as I was told by the women themselves) that they 'place' themselves in many media. So a woman will place herself in a monthly pay match site, in a marriage agency catalog and website, she will answer newspaper ads, she will flirt with men on the metro, at grocery stores, in elevators, etc.
I think men are fooling themselves if they choose to search for gals in X place or X media because they think those women are different from those in Y place or Y media.
Futher, all of the women I met knew I was meeting with other women. Did I specifically tell them? No I did not. But, in emails before we met, I told in very strong language that I would under no circumstances discuss other women past, present or future, and I would not ask questions about other men past, present or future.
In coy terms, many of the women made slight reference to 'other women.' I ignored such comments, and none of the women pressed the issue. But they knew; just because they were not stupid.
And, I am not so stupid as to slap the women in the face by telling them I will choose based on 'how they play their cards.' Again, I don't have to tell them, because as intelligent women; they already know this.
But remember my target age group. My words/actions (saying I would not discuss any other women, past, present or future) and the response it got (or lack of response) might be quite different if a younger set of women were involved. Women 'generally' get a little more realistic about what they can expect or demand in the way of competition as they mature.
Note: My rule about not discussing other women did not apply to the next door gal. That's because (1) I had not corresponded with her before we met to tell her the rule, and (2) I did not view her as a romantic prospect because I thought she was married from the first. Her reactions and words were quite interesting; after we started dating for real.
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Mars in his trip report gave some interesting, articulate reasons for eliminating RW, reasons that I had never considered (or would admit to ;) ).
As I recall, he mentioned two strike outs. One apparently eliminated him, and another he eliminated based on lack of English.
So what were the 'interesting' reasons you read about that you had never considered or would admit to?
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Why should I care if it were a coincidence or planned?
Anyway, I am quite sure it was unplanned because she was clearly startled when I first spoke to her in English.
I don't understand how my problem of determining 'if her interest in you is genuine or not' is any different from determining the same with respect to any other woman anywhere in the world regardless of how we first met. Could you please explain why you think it is a unique problem in her case?
I think the RW isn't dumb and she knows the apartment you're staying in is rented out to foreign men. She is making aggressive moves to know you and you even said she makes her move to call when the lights in your apartment are turned on. Most RW do not call men. It's the man's job to call them.
You need to question her motives just as you should question every woman's motives who want to enter into your life. Maybe the neighbor thinks you're a hunk of a man and you're the first foreign man she decided to pursue in this manner. Maybe you're the average joe and just one of the many foreign men she has pursued in an aggressive manner. Have you ever heard of GCG(green card girl)? They don't always marry for love and if you're looking for love, they should be avoided.
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Billy, I understand everything you wrote. But I still don't see where you addressed my question: "Could you please explain why you think it is a unique problem in her case?"
Further, I disagree that RW do not call men. Almost everyone of the 12 women I dated called or texted me first, in some instances. I am not talking about our first contact; but rather follow up contacts to ask about how I was, next meetings, etc.
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"Could you please explain why you think it is a unique problem in her case?"
It is unique because I doubt other RW are monitoring your every move entering and leaving the apartment and trying to be with you all the time wherever you may need to go around town. It's a little early for her to be calling you "Mine". Maybe it's not a problem, maybe it is. I don't want to derail your thread talking about this one issue but this RW is different than the others, isn't she?
Further, I disagree that RW do not call men. Almost everyone of the 12 women I dated called or texted me first, in some instances. I am not talking about our first contact; but rather follow up contacts to ask about how I was, next meetings, etc.
I did not say ALL RW do not call men. It is still a man's job to call RW. You being there on limited time may persuade some of them to call/text you for a follow up meeting if they really liked you and/or don't want to lose you. Keep in mind, getting a text is not getting a call. Conversations/Calls that cost money are supposed to be initiated by men.
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Billy, based on your experience, what you say may be true. Based on my experience, it is rubbish, which only demonstrates, situations differ.
Manlooking: You low down, double timing, immoral ........................................ ;D Seriously, you're a VM man and are doing it, or at least describing it, with dignity and style. I've done both and at heart am a through and through VO man, BUT................no objection to the other thing if done with respect, dignity and style. Your report is refreshing. All the best with whatever you end up doing or not doing with your short list.
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I've done both and at heart am a through and through VO man,
I shudder to think what could have happened if I were a VO man.
I met with 12 women. 8 did not pan out.
So on VO trips, I could have made 8 trips spread over 8 years to meet with those 8 and have nothing to show for it, of a continuing nature. A lot of wasted time and money.
Despite many emails and phone calls to the women - - - before the first face to face meetings, nothing gave me a clue that those 8 were not going to be viable.
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I met with 12 women. 8 did not pan out.
The other 8 may not be bad women but just not compatible with you or they feel you're not compatible with them. A guy or gal has to date numerous people to find one they can live their life with. People who do VM tend to get labeled a playboy. Being a VO and giving one woman all your attention will score some points but most of the time, she will not marry the man in front of her and the guy will have to start all over.
Billy, based on your experience, what you say may be true. Based on my experience, it is rubbish, which only demonstrates, situations differ.
I assume you're talking about who makes the first phone call? RW have to prepay to use their phones. A man should understand this and be a man and not let the lady pay. It doesn't matter your experience or mine. It's about being a gentleman. Sometimes a RW would call me letting the phone ring once and hang up. That is my signal to call her. Text messaging is a different story from phone calls and they can initiate it first anytime.
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I shudder to think what could have happened if I were a VO man.
I met with 12 women. 8 did not pan out.
So on VO trips, I could have made 8 trips spread over 8 years to meet with those 8 and have nothing to show for it, of a continuing nature. A lot of wasted time and money.
Despite many emails and phone calls to the women - - - before the first face to face meetings, nothing gave me a clue that those 8 were not going to be viable.
I, like I/O am also a VO. I see nothing wrong with the WM concept and fault no one for taking that path. Many men as well as women are impossible to read or open up to anyone via, email, phone calls or Skype. These people require eyeball to eyeball for an understanding of even the basic person. Nothing wrong with that.
However, we are not all like that. There is an inordinate amount of information to be mined from every lady you communicate with if you have the patience to do so. Many are simply not up for that task and go about their WMVM ways. The risk with WOVO is much greater that the one woman and the one man will not connect but, with greater risks generally come greater reward. WOVO doesn't work for you and I understand that the same way WMVM doesn't work for me.
Excellent TR by the way. Please continue. I think you have moved the high water mark on a dignified WMVM trip report upwards.
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Of the 8 that did not pan out, 2 of them were ranked number 1 and 2 by me pre-meeting. I was almost certain that one or both would be keepers. But I was dead wrong.
And I had another near disaster also if I were a WOVO man. She was not even one of the 12 that I met.
She looked and seemed very promising for several weeks of correspondence.
After several weeks of correspondence, she drops on me the idea that she doesn't want to compete for me, so she will only meet with me if I am not planning to see other women. I ignore those words of hers and continue to correspond.
Then within a week of my arrival in Kharkiv, she informed me that she did not even live in Kharkiv, even though that was what she had listed in her profile. Thus she says she can only meet with me on weekends. I am supposed to find something else to do during the weekdays - - - and it can't include meeting other women!!
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I posted this in the report by Erudite. I copy it here for a more complete picture of my report.
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I can suggest these restaurants which are in the vicinity of Pushkin Metro station in the city of Kharkiv:
Stargorod in courtyard behind Lermontovaska
Golden Taurus on Pushkin at entrance to Molodezhnyi Park
Yasnaya Polyana (Clear Glade) on the north edge of Molodezhnyi Park
Adriano on Pushkin
Paris on Petrovskogo
22 on Petrovskogo
Chekov on Petrovskogo
Pushka on Pushkin, but farther to the south/east past the McDonalds
Avoid Giant on Pushkin and New York Burger Bar on Petrovskogo
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Just remembered an item which most of you guys would find very useful on your trip to FSU.
The item is a ballpoint pen sized lazer pointer. These can be purchased at WalMart for just a little over $4.
Say you go into a grocery store where everything is behind the counter. You see the item you want, but it takes forever in pointing and repointing to get the gal to touch the correct item. With the lazer pointer, you simply shine the beam on it.
Also works great at the fast food joints where you put the beam up on the menu at the item you want to order.
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Robert005, I can't quite understand why you posted in my thread.
Your info and advice doesn't seem to jive with anything I posted or asked for info on.
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Robert005, I can't quite understand why you posted in my thread.
Your info and advice doesn't seem to jive with anything I posted or asked for info on.
he is a spammer... look the link at the bottom of the post!
Report to the mods.......
Nice reading report :D
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In a few days, I will be returning to Kharkiv to spend a month with the 4 women that I wrote about earlier in this trip report.
I had wanted to go to a resort area like Turkey (I have been there many times) and fly the women down for a week visit (one at a time), but was not able to do the logistics with their work schedules.
I have been to Ukraine before during October and the weather can be iffy. A few times I have been lucky and encountered a few weeks of 'Indian Summer' or 'Women's Summer' as they call it. Now there is some prediction of snow for October 1st !!
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They had ice in Kharkiv last week at least in the outskirts. MIL was showing me on skype. No snow.
Egypt is nice so if you narrow 4 to 1 always take last second flight to Egypt.
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.......Will be looking forward to hearing about your month's stay.......(my first trip to Ukraine was in the fall and I thoroughly enjoyed the temps and time of year). The initial trip report was very good..........especially your ability in keeping the thread on track......U
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It was nice to read your trip report. I am planning on another visit in the Spring, and Kharkiv sounds like an interesting place. I am going to add to my potential places to visit. Thanks for all the good information.
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I arrived here in Kharkiv a couple of days ago.
A bit on the chilly side past 2 days. High was 5 degrees C. Haven't converted that yet, but somewhere in 40s I guess. Now snow as had been predicted.
Tomorrow high predicted to be 50 F and 54 the next couple of days later.
Spent time already with 2 of my 4 continuing gals and will meet other two in coming days.
I had a very close call last night regarding my previous statement of who I would not touch with a 10 foot pole. Not my fault. Total happenstance.
Was at McDs on Puskinskya late trying to get free WiFi to work. While I was waiting for load up, I said hello to the mid 20s something gal who was at the 4 person table. We started a conversation in English as she was enthralled with someone to talk English with. She has a smile that can light up a dark room.
When the McDs speed was nothing to work with, she said, you must go with me to another nearby place for coffee and fast internet. I thought WTF?
We went, she insisted on paying for coffee, and I told her I really didn't need to use INet, I was just curious if McDs would work. We talked for a couple of hours. Then she insisted we go to Pushkin Metro area so she could take a pic of me at Yarolslav Monument. WTF.
Then she insists on walking me back to my apt which is near McDs. She takes my hand to 'make sure I am careful' as we cross street . . . but she never lets go of my hand for next 15 minutes. Says I am the most fascinating man she has ever met. Says she will email me my photo. Don't know if she will . . . or what will ever happen. We exchanged email address and mobile phone numbers. I will not make the first next move.
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Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero ;)
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Don't know if she will . . . or what will ever happen. We exchanged email address and mobile phone numbers. I will not make the first next move.
:hairraising:
She may or may not make the first next move, yet nothing will happen between you and her if you are really focused on ladies in their early 40s and you do not touch her at all either with your hands or even with a 12 foot pole as you expressed it below. :P
I am not looking for a young hottie in her 20s or 30s, and would not touch one with a 10 foot (or 12 foot pole).
However, I feel I must focus on ladies in their early 40s.
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At one point, when I stumbled on the uneven sidewalk she grabbed my hand to 'help steady me.' But she did not release my hand . . . and we continued to walk for an hour or more hand in hand visiting 6-7 small shops. Even when we approached our apt building again, she kept a firm hold on my hand. I thought 'what is going on here . . .
She takes my hand to 'make sure I am careful' as we cross street . . . but she never lets go of my hand for next 15 minutes. Says I am the most fascinating man she has ever met.
Hmmmmmm, indeed, what is going on here ??? These women demonstrate an interesting tendency…why did the women feel need to keep your hand? Your sexual appeal might compel them to keep your hand …Alternatively, the maternal instinct might be the reason for their behavior. If you are short, thin, bold, and seemingly helpless, women could associate you with a child in their minds. Since women usually take and keep the child’s hand that they accompany on a street, they might feel compelled to take and keep your hand too. 8)
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She looked and seemed very promising for several weeks of correspondence.
After several weeks of correspondence, she drops on me the idea that she doesn't want to compete for me, so she will only meet with me if I am not planning to see other women. I ignore those words of hers and continue to correspond.
After several weeks of communication, the smartest women enjoy competition for a man only when they are certain that their victory is guaranteed. If after a while, their victory is not guaranteed yet, they think following: “this man is an idiot if after SO prolonged communication, he still cannot see that I am the best of the best…why would I need to compete for an idiot.” Then , she dumps him.
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But, in emails before we met, I told in very strong language that I would under no circumstances discuss other women past, present or future, and I would not ask questions about other men past, present or future.
I do not understand how any woman with the faculty to think logically would continue corresponding with you after this declaration of yours. This statement is atelltale indication of your inability to commit to a woman and that any woman is going to be only a temporary entertainment for you and under no circumstances, she is going to be the only one, regardless of what and who she is.
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I do not understand how any woman with the faculty to think logically would continue corresponding with you after this declaration of yours. This statement is atelltale indication of your inability to commit to a woman and that any woman is going to be only a temporary entertainment for you and under no circumstances, she is going to be the only one, regardless of what and who she is.
+1
I have found then when entering into a new relationship then there is a natural and healthy interest to discuss previous partners. It's normal, isn't it?
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It's nice to be honest up front but either way - they know.
Whether they accept it or not is a different matter.
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Here is my impression of Kharkiv airport (from a domestic flight):
Hard landing, broken plane literally in half lying between the runways was in my full view as we bounced down the runway. Honeycomb of concrete pads and grass growing formed a taxi lane. Then we stopped, walked a long ways to a tent, and stood around for a few minutes. Finally a guy driving a tractor pulled an old village type wagon full of our suitcases through our group, stopped, stood up and said "pozhalysta" telling us to grab our own. By this time I was about 35 hours w/o sleep from flying and have a faint memory of having to climb said wagon to pull my bags off and recall a lady gestering for me to help her with her bag. I bumbled in some bad Russian saying "sorry I'm a foreigners". I walked along a dirty trail to the taxi area where guys in leather jackets and pointy shoes kept asking me if I wanted a taxi. For some reason I never went inside any building...
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As a follow up on the Immigration Card info:
I came into Kharkiv airport on Austrian Air. I went to Steward area of plane and talked to a couple of the gals. They showed me paper they had gotten from Austrian Air headquarters that old of termination of need to do the Immigration Card. And so, obviously, they had none to hand out on the plane as they had in the past.
I still had some of the Immigration Cards from past trips, so I filled one out anyway. It was in my shirt pocket as I went through passport control, but I never offered it to them, and they didn't ask for it. But still no "Official" word on it that I could find on any Ukrainian Government site.
Some of the passengers had evidently told they had some items, so they were being grilled about them regarding customs duties (I presume). I said nothing and was asked nothing about items to declare (but on previous trip to Kharkiv they did ask me). But they still waved me to put luggage through X ray. I think it must just be to scare people, because I had several gold bracelets in my large suitcase, and was not flagged for them. Plus tons of electronic gear. In short, my customs experience in Kharkiv was the same as at all other Ukrainian cities I have landed in.
I hope my experience in leaving Kharkiv goes just as well . . . without the immigration card.
Also, the "New" terminal at Kharkiv is not operating, despite the Grand Opening pictures with President Yanokovich a couple of months ago.
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Anyone coming here in near future; pack your warm things. The highs will only be in low to mid 40s as forecast for the next week. And fairly brisk wind to boot.
Nothing much happening here re cultural things to do. No ballet until 20 October. A lot of opera, but I am not much into that. Kyiv usually has one or two ballets every week, but not so here in Kharkiv.
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I arrived here in Kharkiv a couple of days ago.
A bit on the chilly side past 2 days. High was 5 degrees C. Haven't converted that yet, but somewhere in 40s I guess. Now snow as had been predicted.
Tomorrow high predicted to be 50 F and 54 the next couple of days later.
Spent time already with 2 of my 4 continuing gals and will meet other two in coming days.
I had a very close call last night regarding my previous statement of who I would not touch with a 10 foot pole. Not my fault. Total happenstance.
Was at McDs on Puskinskya late trying to get free WiFi to work. While I was waiting for load up, I said hello to the mid 20s something gal who was at the 4 person table. We started a conversation in English as she was enthralled with someone to talk English with. She has a smile that can light up a dark room.
When the McDs speed was nothing to work with, she said, you must go with me to another nearby place for coffee and fast internet. I thought WTF?
We went, she insisted on paying for coffee, and I told her I really didn't need to use INet, I was just curious if McDs would work. We talked for a couple of hours. Then she insisted we go to Pushkin Metro area so she could take a pic of me at Yarolslav Monument. WTF.
Then she insists on walking me back to my apt which is near McDs. She takes my hand to 'make sure I am careful' as we cross street . . . but she never lets go of my hand for next 15 minutes. Says I am the most fascinating man she has ever met. Says she will email me my photo. Don't know if she will . . . or what will ever happen. We exchanged email address and mobile phone numbers. I will not make the first next move.
I think she already made the first move. now it is your turn to make a move, if you actually have any interest in her. or not.
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Quote from: ManLooking on June 22, 2010, 07:51:14 PM
But, in emails before we met, I told in very strong language that I would under no circumstances discuss other women past, present or future, and I would not ask questions about other men past, present or future.
- - - -
VWRW:
I do not understand how any woman with the faculty to think logically would continue corresponding with you after this declaration of yours. This statement is atelltale indication of your inability to commit to a woman and that any woman is going to be only a temporary entertainment for you and under no circumstances, she is going to be the only one, regardless of what and who she is.
= = = = = =
Your logic is faulty here. A refusal to talk about other persons past, current and future (and to ask questions about same) says absolutely zero about ability to commit.
Rather, such refusal and lack of prying questions is merely good manners.
I sent such words to hundreds of women, and not a one refused to continue based on those words. So I think you must be misreading.
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I think she already made the first move. now it is your turn to make a move, if you actually have any interest in her. or not.
- - - - - - - -
You have missed part of my earlier postings wherein it was told that this woman is too young for me; using my own standards.
So she must make the next move, and she must furnish the 12 foot pole also.
In that situation, it will be completely no fault of my own, because men cannot help it; and I can honestly say that 'The Devil Made Me Do It.'
But I have enough to worry about already, with the romantic desires of continuing women.
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Price Update:
McDs Double Cheeseburger Meal (Menu they call it here) including large french fries and large soda holding steady at same price as in May; 26 grievna.
Large chocolate muffin increased from 8 to 8.50 grievna.
Ice cream cone increased from 2.50 to 3.00 grievna.
FX rate is 7.95 gr to 1 USD.
And no, I don't take women to McDs, but I do go there by myself when my women are working, because it is a block away.
Talked with two early 20 something gals at McDs again today. They spoke perfect English and were very interested to talk with me at length. Then off to their Univ classes; and never even offered to take my hand to guide me back to my apt.
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7.95 is edging on up there.
Most the spring, summer, early fall, was running 7.85 to 7.93
Now at 7.95 it is getting close to that 8 to 1 figure, which is the formula many American's will use in their head to calculate cost of things.
Like you, and every other foreign man I have heard of, except one, would never take a woman to McDs. But isn't it amazing at how busy these places are from the time they open until they close. Have you ever been in a McD's that was not busy? And not with just young people either, I have seen many attractive ladies in McDs.
Right next to my flat on Independence Square is a McD's. Just caught a quick glimpse of a nice blonde walking a quick pace into McD's. Saw her again as she was leaving, in her nice ride no less, a Range Rover.
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I just dont understand why more guys will not seek out and put themselves into a situation to meet other women other than just these agency types while there.
It's because we take our personalities with us where ever we go.....sinse they don't do that at home so they don't do that when away.
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Price Update:
McDs Double Cheeseburger Meal (Menu they call it here) including large french fries and large soda holding steady at same price as in May; 26 grievna.
Large chocolate muffin increased from 8 to 8.50 grievna.
Ice cream cone increased from 2.50 to 3.00 grievna.
FX rate is 7.95 gr to 1 USD.
And no, I don't take women to McDs, but I do go there by myself when my women are working, because it is a block away.
Talked with two early 20 something gals at McDs again today. They spoke perfect English and were very interested to talk with me at length. Then off to their Univ classes; and never even offered to take my hand to guide me back to my apt.
Smart to avoid the age trap fantasy, hang in there!
Nothing wrong with taking your date to McD's as long as that is where you enjoy going. Pretending to be something you are not is a recipe for disaster.
It was a standing joke through the first winter of our relationship when I was meeting my future wife in the mornings with a steaming double espresso and a muffin from the Kreshatyk Metro McD. I think back on all the absolute idiots who insisted that I was doomed since I never gave her flowers and laugh, especially since so many of them are on their 15th, 23rd and such girlfriends.
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Quote from: ManLooking on June 22, 2010, 07:51:14 PM
But, in emails before we met, I told in very strong language that I would under no circumstances discuss other women past, present or future, and I would not ask questions about other men past, present or future.
- - - -
VWRW:
I do not understand how any woman with the faculty to think logically would continue corresponding with you after this declaration of yours. This statement is atelltale indication of your inability to commit to a woman and that any woman is going to be only a temporary entertainment for you and under no circumstances, she is going to be the only one, regardless of what and who she is.
= = = = = =
Your logic is faulty here. A refusal to talk about other persons past, current and future (and to ask questions about same) says absolutely zero about ability to commit.
Rather, such refusal and lack of prying questions is merely good manners.
I sent such words to hundreds of women, and not a one refused to continue based on those words. So I think you must be misreading.
Yes, it was probably an exaggeration on my part to say that you are unable of the commitment. It is more likely that you are unwilling to commit to a woman for whatever reason rather than unable to do that.
In my life, I have met some people who would refuse to talk about their past or present partners, most of these people are devoted spouses and pleasant people in general. Therefore, I would like to emphasize that the refusal to answer or ask questions about the past or present partners do NOT indicate unwillingness to commit in my mind.
However, your declaration encompasses people from the future and presupposes your confidence that under ANY condition, you are not going to be the last man in a given woman’s life and she is not going to be the last woman in your life.
I agree that a generic refusal to talk about anything in your own and in other person’s past, current and future says little about ability to commit. However, your refusal was NOT generic; you clearly specified that you are not going to talk about the future women in your life and the future men in her life.
A while ago, more than hundreds of women believed that the earth was the center of the universe; yet, they were wrong. Time will tell who, I or the hundreds of women, misread your assertion.
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Ice cream cone increased from 2.50 to 3.00 grievna.
This steep price hike I suspect will be because of the poor crop from the Conocipus tree this summer (too hot) in Azerbaijan, which is the main exporter of cones to Ukraine.
Did you notice any movement in the price of a ‘Happy Meal’? It’s a definite positive IMO to dating youngsters as they love going to Maccies and the price is good, not to mention the occasional toy thrown in. I don’t know if this has been mentioned as a big plus in any of the dating books … it should have been.
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Upon reflection and checking my email words, I am changing the wording slightly from my earlier post to add the word 'imagined.' This may not make much difference in the opinions and conclusions of readers here, but maybe. Here is revised.
"But, in emails before we met, I told in very strong language that I would under no circumstances discuss other women past, present or "imagined' future, and I would not ask questions about other men past, present or future."
What I intended to get at was the obvious desire they mostly all had about would I be meeting other women on the particular trip. Anyway, they seemed to all understand as there were only maybe a handful that subsequently broached the subject in emails (they were dropped) and I can only remember 1 case where the woman brought it up in one of our actual meetings. That was our last meeting.
Vast majority of women never even commented on my words. I remembered two nice response as below . . . even as they maybe didn't really mean it.
"I'm not interested information about other possible women.
I am interested in you as a person, your character and habits, and
whether the compatibility between us."
"I'll be interested in you, and not other womens or mens. I no like to talk these things :)))))))) "
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This steep price hike I suspect will be because of the poor crop from the Conocipus tree this summer (too hot) in Azerbaijan, which is the main exporter of cones to Ukraine.
Actually if you follow the news, there has been a big rift between Azerbaijan and Ukraine. Some slickster types cut some branches from those trees, kept them in water filled jars until new roots started and planted them in Ukraine. First yield is expected in 2011.
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Price Update:
McDs Double Cheeseburger Meal (Menu they call it here) including large french fries and large soda holding steady at same price as in May; 26 grievna.
Large chocolate muffin increased from 8 to 8.50 grievna.
Ice cream cone increased from 2.50 to 3.00 grievna.
FX rate is 7.95 gr to 1 USD.
And no, I don't take women to McDs, but I do go there by myself when my women are working, because it is a block away.
Talked with two early 20 something gals at McDs again today. They spoke perfect English and were very interested to talk with me at length. Then off to their Univ classes; and never even offered to take my hand to guide me back to my apt.
>>McD's<<
Yep, same here. It's the ONLY place around that I have found which really has decent freshly brewed American style coffee. Other places have excellent specialty type coffee drinks (e.g., cappuccino), but straight ole big cup USA style coffee is hard to find. I usually hit McD's several times a week. Nescafe Gold is ok, but just ain't the same. :P
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Nothing wrong with taking your date to McD's as long as that is where you enjoy going. Pretending to be something you are not is a recipe for disaster.
I had 3 ladies insist on me taking them to lunch at McD's.
Also met my wife at Kyiv train station McD.
...as long as that is where you enjoy going.
I also survived a lunch at Ponte Vedra Beach Hooter's outdoor patio.
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I had 3 ladies insist on me taking them to lunch at McD's.
Also met my wife at Kyiv train station McD.I also survived a lunch at Ponte Vedra Beach Hooter's outdoor patio.
Yeah, despite all the righteous indignation you hear, you have to stand in line to get waited on and seating is so tight it is common to sit at tables with strangers (another thing my wife finds amazing about Americans expecting privacy while eating).
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Even for those of us who have been around FSU culture and living situations for a long time; still find it hilarious sometimes the things that arise.
One of my women has two late teenagers and they all live with her parents. Large place (4 rooms) for the standards here. Very close family. She is trying to plan a sleep over at my place. She keeps pushing for a certain day and night which doesn't work well for me. When I pressed her why that day so important . . . It's because her father will be out of town and not know about her 'escapades.'
I laughed very hard and told her my USA friends would get a real hoot from this story regarding a 45 year old woman. She agreed and said "I know, I know; but it is our life here."
She also admitted that her father and mother actually view her as just another teenager living there at home.
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Upon reflection and checking my email words, I am changing the wording slightly from my earlier post to add the word 'imagined.' This may not make much difference in the opinions and conclusions of readers here, but maybe. Here is revised.
"But, in emails before we met, I told in very strong language that I would under no circumstances discuss other women past, present or "imagined' future, and I would not ask questions about other men past, present or future."
Okay, let’s assume that once you have committed to a woman, you can only foresee having imagined women. Fine. However, there is still a problem with the second part of your statement, which indicates your attitude toward fidelity of women to their sexual partners. Why do you believe your chosen woman is going to have future men once she is in relationship with you? Unless you have a tendency to image your woman having additional men, you cannot be certain that the chosen woman will be prone to engage in infidelity.
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Actually if you follow the news, there has been a big rift between Azerbaijan and Ukraine. Some slickster types cut some branches from those trees, kept them in water filled jars until new roots started and planted them in Ukraine. First yield is expected in 2011.
This can only be good news. ;D
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VWRW-
while manlooking can answer himself..
my guess is it (past, present and future) was used more as a somewhat common *expression*.
and not intended to be taken so literally.
The tagged on word *future* likely doesn't represent worries regarding future men (or women),
and woman familiar with the expression would not think anything about the term..or its possible literal meaning.
I think most RW would pass over it, regaerdless what they thought, either not take it literally, or attribute it to miscommunicatuion and try to clear it up as you have done.
I truly doubt it would hurt ML's chances at all,
but perhaps illustrates how tedious specific language usage, especially in regards to expressions, or any slang, can be?
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VWRW-
while manlooking can answer himself..
my guess is it (past, present and future) was used more as a somewhat common *expression*.
and not intended to be taken so literally.
The tagged on word *future* likely doesn't represent worries regarding future men (or women),
and woman familiar with the expression would not think anything about the term..or its possible literal meaning.
I think most RW would pass over it, regaerdless what they thought, either not take it literally, or attribute it to miscommunicatuion and try to clear it up as you have done.
I truly doubt it would hurt ML's chances at all,
but perhaps illustrates how tedious specific language usage, especially in regards to expressions, or any slang, can be?
I absolutely agree with you AJ that the majority of women he has corresponded with would give little, if any, attention to his declaration, and this declaration hardly affects his chances of getting what he wishes from the women.
I also think you are correct that the majority of women would attribute his declaration to miscommunication or idiomatic language usage rather than to his belief that each of them can only hope to have a few sexual encounters with him at the maximum.
And I got your hint about tediousness of the issue in question and promise not to dwell on the declaration of his anymore. :D
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And I got your hint about tediousness of the issue in question and promise not to dwell on the declaration of his anymore. Cheesy
lol! :)
actually that was not aimed in your direction..
It was from my own past frustrations ,or first hand experience, with this issue.
It is natural to occur..and expected..
and couples in this situation seem to normally get past it with a laugh ,,
yet at other times ,it can be a crazy sticking point .. for apparently no reason to either party.
Typically it is amusing later,
but at those "tense moments" not so much ..
:ROFL:
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My opinion is that RW are less interested than AW in a man's PAST women. AW tend to dwell on past relationships, while RW tend to say "Past is Past." I find that refreshing.
Regarding PRESENT women and making a declaration of "No questions about my VM plans," perhaps it is better to not make such declarations, especailly in writing. I found that few RW would raise the subject. If a RW mentions it when talking, it can be deflected. Deflection is more diplomatic than a written declaration.
FUTURE women? :ROFL:
ManLooking,
I too spent unattached months in Ukraine and Russia. Enjoy your time with the UW ladies. I am jealous.
I hope you have a rewarding trip. Usually, natural filters sort everything out by the end.
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My experience with RW is they want your past to not be discussed and for you not to dwell on it. Really not important to them. But if you bring it up never going to end up good as you should be talking about the future.
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...
One of my women has two late teenagers and they all live with her parents.
...
Doesn't that scare the hell out of everyone? 8) At least Zombies are in fashion this time of year!
RW, family ties and pryin' eyes, and sneakin'... yeah, there's a lot of that goin' on. And it is hilarious. :P
As far as past history goes, I definitely have been asked some pointed, invasive questions over the years. Some I'll answer without great detail and others I'll just say " I don't want to talk about it" or something similar. I am amazed at how well they accept that.. or at least seem to.
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I am officially the “World’s Greatest Man.”
Heard it direct from two FSUW, so that is the word all breathe by here right?
Story.
One of my gals asked me to take her female cousin to lunch.
What is she like I asked. Oh, very tall, very slender, long glossy black hair, 53 never married. [ bell rings softly ]
She is studying English and wants to talk with native speaker.
She is very nice. [My gal doesn’t know the phrase; but it is the same as ‘she has a great personality.’] [bell rings louder.]
You will go to Avlabar Pectopah (inside joke for those who know) on Pushkinska and meet her at 2 PM, and I will arrive at 4 PM.
How will I know her, do you have a pic to show me?
No, I have no pic, but she knows what you look like. Don’t worry. [loud bell rings]
I arrive at appointed time and OMG. Yes, tall, slender, beautiful hair . . . but buck teeth, scarecrow face, and one eye crossed severely to center.
So I look for table where I can sit beside her. But no . . . she wants to sit across from me to better see my mouth movement with the words, etc. OMG two hours to look!!
My gal arrives at 4 PM. I give her the WTF look as she was well expecting. She just gives me weak smile.
Finally the cousin leaves. I give my gal the WTF look again.
She says, Da, da, I know. Of course I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to be afraid or paniced at her looks in pic. But my cousin told me you are The Greatest Man in the World and I think so too. Spacibo bolshoya for doing this for me. And now we will go to your flat and I will show you even more appreciation.
OK, all is well that ends well. The things I do for my country!
P.S. Cousin also told she now wants to look for man on internet. Anyone interested?
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Yes, their will ALWAYS be exceptions to most everything but for the most part, for the greatest part, I will also agree with what Gator and kievstar have said as I have witnessed it several times. RW are not so much interested in past relationships, past women. Current women, da da da, but not the past.
And ManLooking, you did good. I would have been pissed, have been pisssed, when something similar happened to me. You handled it in the most gentleman of manners.
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And ManLooking, you did good. I would have been pissed, have been pisssed, when something similar happened to me. You handled it in the most gentleman of manners.
Oh, yeah. ML deserves a medal for deigning to sit with an unattractive woman for a couple of hours. :rolleyes2:
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Hhhmmm...and many will make you believe that FSUWs are pragmatic and will never play games...
ML, I bow to you for being patient. Personally, I would've ditch the broad, but that's just me.
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ManLooking,
I don't see how having lunch with a cousin of "one of your gals" is noteworthy.
I like to believe that almost all AM would want: 1) to help any friend or relative of his "gal" and 2) to meet the gal's family to learn more about the gal.
Does the fact that she was odd looking make this noteworthy? If the cousin were a man (with a broken nose and a mouth overflowing with gold teeth) would you have felt differently? Would you even write about it? Unless I am misinterpreting something, this seems to be an example supporting Boethius's observation about men objectifying women.
Perhaps the inside joke about the restaurant explains all.
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ManLooking,
Don't take the meeting with the cousin at face value. It is possible that the meeting with the cousin was less about hearing correct English and more about checking you out.
Cousins can be close in Russia, essentially sisters (and I have the impression that the Russian words for the two are similar as I have been confused at times about who is a cousin and who is a sister). The "gal" is interested in you, very interested. She wants to know what her cousin thinks about you, e. g. does she believe you are a "good" man?
Evidently you passed with flying colors. You should feel good.
Please keep reporting. Very interesting.
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I don't see how having lunch with a cousin of "one of your gals" is noteworthy.
She is noteworthy because she complimented him. If you look at ML’s posts in this report, you will notice that he reports mostly about women who gave him compliment in one way or another.
I remember him claiming that women’s compliments have zero value for him. In the light of his opinion about compliments, I cannot understand why he considers their compliments to be worthy of noting in his report.
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Yes, their will ALWAYS be exceptions to most everything but for the most part, for the greatest part, I will also agree with what Gator and kievstar have said as I have witnessed it several times. RW are not so much interested in past relationships, past women. Current women, da da da, but not the past.
The topic of being interested in past relationships became our lunch time discussion topic Jack and my wife feels otherwise. She feels that learning about past relationships can be an indicator of what a woman might have to deal with in any relationship a woman had with that man. I won't say I ever asked any woman about past relationships to any degree but do feel some of the conversations that were offered helped me to learn more about the person so I tend to think I agree with her.
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Women who want to talk to you about their previous men are telling you something about themselves...if you listen carefully. No matter what they may say about the guy (+/-) they are really telling you much more about themselves. Some women have a great need to discuss previous guys.
At first I used to think their need to talk about former guys was just plain rude and then I realized they just could not resist and usually they would paint the guy as unsuitable or not very nice in this or that way or he had a temper or whatever. I would listen.
Some I would get to know better and in a short time I could easily see how they could drive a sane man absolutely crazy. So I think if a women must tell you...just listen carefully about what she is really telling you about herself. :P
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ManLooking,
Don't take the meeting with the cousin at face value. It is possible that the meeting with the cousin was less about hearing correct English and more about checking you out.
Cousins can be close in Russia, essentially sisters (and I have the impression that the Russian words for the two are similar as I have been confused at times about who is a cousin and who is a sister). The "gal" is interested in you, very interested. She wants to know what her cousin thinks about you, e. g. does she believe you are a "good" man?
Evidently you passed with flying colors. You should feel good.
Please keep reporting. Very interesting.
Not being on the ground there, that would be my guess as well.
Or a combination of both? checking him out for his RW, and practicing a bit of english..
It seems very normal to me.. and seems to show a sincere interest of the RW , in ML..
I've always welcomed meeting any familiy or friends ,as it seems a good way to get further perspective,
and also to allow the RW (and the people she holds dear) to gain better knowledge of you.
It seems natural progression of a begining relationship...
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I think men and women talking about past relationships is normal. Do you really think you can spend the rest of your life with a man or woman without ever talking about previous relationships? I dont think its possible and its better to get whatever skeletons you have in the closet out in the open.
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I think men and women talking about past relationships is normal. Do you really think you can spend the rest of your life with a man or woman without ever talking about previous relationships?
There comes a time when the past does need to be discussed. Just don't dwell on it so early in a relationship. And once informed, it is best to let it go.
I spent a total of more than 60 24-7 days with one RW before she showed me a photo of her ex-husband. This same woman would become upset if I casually mentioned an episode with a past woman. She wanted to start with a clean slate, with nothing hanging over us.
I dont think its possible and its better to get whatever skeletons you have in the closet out in the open.
Is this Russian mentality? After knowing her for a year, my ex-wife confided in me some sad episodes. I felt helpless other than to be empathetic. It explained some of her character but raised more questions. We even talked about therapy but never got to that point.
So let the closet keep its skeletons unless someone wants to bring them out.
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Upstream, I posted some recommendations for restaurants in Kharkiv.
Here are three more to add to the list.
Main dining room of Aurora Hotel on Artema street. This restaurant is completely smoke free. They do have a separate bar for smokers and a very complete cigar selection case (we just took a quick glance in).
Avlabar on Pushkinska between Ivanova and Petrovska.
Alibi on Krasina just off of Pushkinska.
A couple of unexpectedly good places right within Shevchenko Park also, but I forgot to note their names
Got taken royally last night at Chekhov restaurant on Petrovska, a place that I really like. My own fault for letting my guard down. The gal wanted a glass of wine. She looking at menu in Russian and asking me what I thought etc. Just then our waitress came by, so I said: "Ask her what she recommends." They were blabbering back and forth and I got absent minded while looking at my menu for my main course selection. So my gal just went with what the waitress recommended which I gather was not even listed on the wine list. I never knew anything about price, and neither did my gal. When the bill comes . . . the two glasses of wine cost about twice as much as all the other part of the meals!! I have plenty of money, but I sure don't waste it like that on a regular basis. My gal wasn't even impressed with any of my supposed 'non greediness' because she didn't even know what the wine cost.
Nearby on Myronosyiska just south of Petrovskogo is an authentic Irish Pub. We took a walk through there also, but it allowes smoking in every room, nook and cranny.
And an update on McDonalds. As reported here by others, many FSU people bad mouth them, and then we note the locations are packed full. Rather than taking gals there, I got sausage, egg and cheese McMuffins and brought back to my apt for two gals for breakfast. They thought the sandwiches were terrific. Now asking me to repeat this. I will try the same experiment for two other gals.
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After searching around, I determined that my new Asus Netbook does not have a photo fix-up program installed.
Anyone have a recommendation for one to download that is relatively small size and simple to understand and use?
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Rather than taking gals there, I got sausage, egg and cheese McMuffins and brought back to my apt for two gals for breakfast. They thought the sandwiches were terrific.
Hey ML.
Looks like you are doing OK?.....2 women at breakfast (same time). :evil:
GOB
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After searching around, I determined that my new Asus Netbook does not have a photo fix-up program installed.
Anyone have a recommendation for one to download that is relatively small size and simple to understand and use?
Try these:Link (http://sixrevisions.com/graphics-design/10-excellent-open-source-and-free-alternatives-to-photoshop/)
Right now, I'm using Gimp and Paint.
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Try these:Link (http://sixrevisions.com/graphics-design/10-excellent-open-source-and-free-alternatives-to-photoshop/)
Another could be IrfanView (downloadable from http://download.cnet.com/1770-20_4-0.html?query=IrfanView&tag=srch&searchtype=downloads&filterName=platform%3DWindows%2CWebware&filter=platform%3DWindows%2CWebware, among other sources). It has a LOT of optional plug-ins for all sorts of file types, including audio and video - in addition to pictures.
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Another could be IrfanView (downloadable from http://download.cnet.com/1770-20_4-0.html?query=IrfanView&tag=srch&searchtype=downloads&filterName=platform%3DWindows%2CWebware&filter=platform%3DWindows%2CWebware, among other sources). It has a LOT of optional plug-ins for all sorts of file types, including audio and video - in addition to pictures.
A second thumbs up for IrfanView. great little program with many features and many more available through plugins.
And yet another (freeware) viewer with some excellent editing capabilities is FastStone Image Viewer at www.faststone.org. Very, very nice viewer/editor. Faststone also makes the absolute best screen capture utility I've ever used (though not free).
You can't go wrong with either of those freebies... I have and do use them.. but...
Another (not free) but small and excellent viewer/editor is FireGraphic at www.firegraphic.com $49.95 and is my personal favorite viewer/simple editor... absolutely love it... I use this almost daily and jump to Photoshop (via the "External Editor" assignment button) for more extensive editing work.
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Thanks to those who gave tips on the photo fix-up programs.
Haven't tried any yet. A little worried about picking up a virus with downloads.
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As update on FSUW and McDonalds.
All 4 of my gals are now onboard for sausage, egg and cheese McMuffins.
And as well, I love their blini, cernike, oladi, etc. for breakfast.
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Haven't tried any yet. A little worried about picking up a virus with downloads.
ML, most downoadables from CNET are virus-tested before being made available ;).
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Some minor problem. One of my gals has early teen daughter whose mother now tells me has 'crush' on me.
Girl calls me frequently to ask about what is correct for her English lessons. Sends me SMS during her classes to see if I agree with what teacher telling them in class.
Mother doesn't like it. Says she knows not my fault. Likes that the girl likes me; but thinks should stop. I said fine: I will not answer her phone call or answer her SMS. Mother says: 'No, that wouldn't be good either.'
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Just back from the Philharmonia (as spelled here). More on that later.
Meanwhile back on the Lolita ranch:
Mother finally told girl she can only call me once a day and sms me once a day, and not during classes. Reason given: because I am too busy for such.
Girl supposedly highly pissed . . . but not at me; rather the mother. I guess that is good . . . but no wait; maybe that is bad!!
The father is very much in the life of this girl; and they have a good relationship. He is actually only a few years younger than me. He is photographer. Makes zilch but works with the hot gals. Mother of my gal (who was his model back when) told her it was foolish to marry him because he would always be surrounded by young hot chicks (probably not her choice of words) and she would lose him eventually. He is now with local gal about 30 years younger than himself, but he 'updates' (or maybe it is downdates) every year or so.
He and I have met; and he is extremely happy I am in the picture. Of course I know why, as he sees me as a cash cow. To eliminate strain on himself by my helping pay for the needs of his children; and he has already pitched me a half dozen ideas on how he can use my money to make a fortune for the both of us. Thinks I am as stupid as I look; I guess. Even as he knows I am a professional at this investment business.
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Of course I know why, as he sees me as a cash cow.
Some words of advice ML.
I have a neighbor where I live that had to pay BIG $bucks$ to a Ukraine "absentee father" :rolleyes2: to get his signature on paperwork so the daughter could leave the country with the mother.
So beware!
GOB
BTW....Mother has been back to the Ukraine without the daughter. She is afraid that they will have to pay the dirt bag more money if daughter comes home to visit and tries to leave again.
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Another mild drama last weekend, with disaster avoided; probably.
Background note: I started playing chess only about 5 years ago. Mainly because on my business trips to FSU the men kept bugging me to play chess with them. So I joined local club; read a couple of Chess for Idiots books; and progressed pretty well . . . probably because my business work requires constant high level analytical skills.
No, I have not any Chess Master points (never signed up for such), but I am able to give some of the top club players a 'run for their money.'
Current situation: Went for entire day to a gal's parent's place on weekend. (Not Lolita's). Before going, gal told me her father knew I played chess and wanted to play with me.
I said: Will he be mad if I beat him.
She (in typical FSUW fashion) said: Don't be silly. He has been playing since 5 years old, and you only for 5 years. And besides, he is Russian man and you only American. No one in family has ever beaten him and no friends either.
Then in about 10 minutes she said: But it would probably not be good if you do beat him.
So I say: Then I should be sure to lose; yes?
She: But you can't make it look that way because he will know, and then really be mad.
In another 10 minutes: Probably you should beat him if you can. He always said my ex, my sister's ex and her current were not smart enough to be in their family, so he will be happy to think you are smart.
Me (to myself): Sure I can just ratchet up and down as needed . . . not!
Anyway, I soon realized that I didn't have to worry about 'taking a fall' as he was a few tads better than I. But I kept up a good game for about 2 hours before I was 'check mated.'
All seemed to be OK as he pronounced me as quite good for such little experience and that, with his help, I had real potential.
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This evening 19 Oct, went to Baroque Music Concert at Philharmonia. Baroque music refers to period between Renaissance and Classical. Performance featured works by Vivaldi, Handel, J.S. Bach, Rameau and Scarlatti. 5 players; 1 from Kharkiv and the other 4 visiting from Switzerland.
Only 2 'regular' current day instruments; violin and cello. Others were a type of large lute, a couple of basic flute variations, and a clavichord. The performance was quite good.
The Philharmonia is located in what was previously the Opera Theatre. Gal (not related to Lolita nor Chess) warned me the hall likely to be quite chilly. So we kept our outer coats on, I put on extra pair of socks, and she wore winter boots. By intermission, the place warmed up enough to take off coats, but the floor still cold as if an ice rink were underneath. So be prepared.
Before theatre, we went to Avlabar Pectopah on Pushkinski. Great chicken with vegetables prepared Georgian style.
Tomorrow night go to ballet 'Gisele.'
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Oooooppps, sorry. After I posted, I was looking downstream and noticed the Lolita posts were removed.
So by reference to that name, I am not trying to restart that sub-thread here. Don't know where the sub-thread went or if it just plain deleted.
My only intent was to give update and answer questions about father.
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Last night went to ballet 'Gisele' at the Opera Theatre. From the outside, this building appears as a huge monstrosity of monolithic bare concrete design with a little F.L. Wright thrown in. Inside, it comes across as quite pleasing to the eye. It is on Sumsksa just down the street from the city square.
The seats were quite nice except they were covered in corduroy which had not been vacuumed for several years. So anyone allergic to dust, take your antihistamine before attending.
I have seen this ballet several times in various FSU cities and in USA. I would rate the performance as just OK. I am far from expert, but I noticed that even the main performers sometimes had to take that extra little step to balance them self after they landed, etc.
So I would say it wasn't up to the standards of Kyiv, St Petersburg, etc.
Also frequently, after the 'story' is done, the performers do their specialty routines. That didn't happen here.
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Surprised today to get SMS from two of the gals that I met with in May only for one date. I had sent them a nice msg after that first meeting telling them thanks for their time, etc. But I had never made any follow up contact. I did mention in emails before first meeting that I would probably be returning in the Autumn.
Anyway, they both just said something like: Hello, how are you.
I have no interest in either, but don't quite know what to reply.
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In new developments, a 5th early 40s woman is coming from Kyiv to spend 3 days with me.
I wrote some about her situation in another thread somewhere. She is going to apply for student visa to come to USA to pursue Masters and Doctoral degree. I knew her (now deceased 2009) husband since about 2002 and first met her about 6 years ago.
She expressed interest in living in one of my houses in USA, and I had thought that she wanted me to pay her tuition also. And I was willing to do that because her husband had been a very good friend of mine and had helped me make some good money a couple of times.
However, I now hear from her that she needs no money at all from me. His last job was with a Belgium firm here in Ukraine and he had a quite large (even by American standards) insurance policy through the company.
Who knows!!
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Oooooppps, sorry. After I posted, I was looking downstream and noticed the Lolita posts were removed.
So by reference to that name, I am not trying to restart that sub-thread here. Don't know where the sub-thread went or if it just plain deleted.
My only intent was to give update and answer questions about father.
Those posts were split off into a thread which contains the name over to the unmentionable section! ;D No links provided because it is the unmentionable section! I could mention it, but then I'd have to split and move the mentioning of the unmentionable due to the inherent dementia in the mentioning of the unmentionable process.
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OMG . . . my visitor from Kyiv !!!
Causing me some serious consternation, without the fear part.
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Internet update.
Lastest scam for apartment owners and our 'helpers' here in Ukraine is to offer to 'rent' you an 'aircard modem' or some such name for $100 bucks plus usage fees for Mb or Gb of upload, download, etc.
This type of Internet hookup plugs into a USB port and uses the signal from mobile phone towers. It can be useful where apt does not have high speed cable or DSL phone line.
And, it seems many apt owners are disconnecting the cable and DSL so they can earn from the aircard modem and usage.
But . . . you can buy these modems outright for $40-60.
I bought one here in Kharkiv from PeopleNet for $52 plus I prepaid $17 for 5.2 Gb of usage.
So starting with the first purchase, it is less than what the 'helpers' want to rent you the modem; and for future trips you only pay some usage time.
The other providers, KyivStar, MTC, Life, etc., all sell these aircard modems and time, some with monthly contract and some without. Most of us will want the no-contract deals, of course.
I checked around, and PeopleNet was the best deal going . . . at this time.
I have only used a little over 1 Gb in 3 weeks, so I could have gotten by with prepaying for 2 Gb at $12.
When in Kharkiv, talk with Vloda (gal) at PeopleNet on Pushkinska. She studied in Sweden and has excellent English . . . and is a computer jock; at least to get your modem installed, up and running. All included in the $52 cost of modem plus $12 - 17 prepaid usage. Yes, she is quite a 'looker' also in mid 20s.
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Internet update.
Lastest scam for apartment owners and our 'helpers' here in Ukraine is to offer to 'rent' you an 'aircard modem' or some such name for $100 bucks plus usage fees for Mb or Gb of upload, download, etc.
This type of Internet hookup plugs into a USB port and uses the signal from mobile phone towers. It can be useful where apt does not have high speed cable or DSL phone line.
And, it seems many apt owners are disconnecting the cable and DSL so they can earn from the aircard modem and usage.
But . . . you can buy these modems outright for $40-60.
I bought one here in Kharkiv from PeopleNet for $52 plus I prepaid $17 for 5.2 Gb of usage.
So starting with the first purchase, it is less than what the 'helpers' want to rent you the modem; and for future trips you only pay some usage time.
The other providers, KyivStar, MTC, Life, etc., all sell these aircard modems and time, some with monthly contract and some without. Most of us will want the no-contract deals, of course.
I checked around, and PeopleNet was the best deal going . . . at this time.
I have only used a little over 1 Gb in 3 weeks, so I could have gotten by with prepaying for 2 Gb at $12.
When in Kharkiv, talk with Vloda (gal) at PeopleNet on Pushkinska. She studied in Sweden and has excellent English . . . and is a computer jock; at least to get your modem installed, up and running. All included in the $52 cost of modem plus $12 - 17 prepaid usage. Yes, she is quite a 'looker' also in mid 20s.
Thank you ManLooking for these very interesting informations. Do you need to buy an modem aircard of a special brand to be connected with a special provider ?
And do you if it's possible to use an jailbreacked iphone as modem aircard with such provider ?
Thank.
Patagonier
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Internet update.
Lastest scam for apartment owners and our 'helpers' here in Ukraine is to offer to 'rent' you an 'aircard modem' or some such name for $100 bucks plus usage fees for Mb or Gb of upload, download, etc.............
I bought a Kievstar one earlier in the year as a backup and I think it cost about $20. I just plugged the dongle in and there was an English option during install which was very useful.
One important thing to remember is to turn off any automatic updates you might have before using such services. :-[
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Thank you ManLooking for these very interesting informations. Do you need to buy an modem aircard of a special brand to be connected with a special provider ?
And do you if it's possible to use an jailbreacked iphone as modem aircard with such provider ?
Thank.
Patagonier
I am not a Tech Jock, so don't really know my way around the various options.
However, the USB modem I bought is stamped with name 'PeopleNet.ua' so I am pretty sure it isn't going to work with other carriers. But I also know hackers can do many things, so who knows.
And I am pretty sure that a mobile phone with Bluetooth can also send signal to computer to connect to Internet, but wouldn't know how to do it myself.
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Weather has been holding pretty nice here; considering.
Mid 50s during days, but no wind, so not too bad.
But, Thursday and Friday highs only in 40s with rain and possible snow.
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Some fairly unbelievable things happening here (good but complicating).
But since they are unbelievable, I won't report.
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I bought a Kievstar one earlier in the year as a backup and I think it cost about $20. I just plugged the dongle in and there was an English option during install which was very useful.
One important thing to remember is to turn off any automatic updates you might have before using such services. :-[
That wouldn't have worked for me (do it yourself), because Kaspersky AntiVirus wouldn't let the aircard modem install. The gal had to fock around with it for an hour or so to get it installed. Kaspersky came free for 6 months with the Netbook, but it has been a real pain in arse several times, so I am going to uninstall it when I get back to USA and install AVG.
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Tomorrow taking a gal and her two teenagers to dinner.
First get together with the children.
So some chance this will be a deal killer; as the teenagers - new man situation can often be.
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I am also not a tech jock, heck, I even learn from Vinnvinnie.
Earlier this year, in the spring while in Kharkov, one of our staff bought me a Sprint modem and a People's net card. With Modem and card everything was about $70, most of this expense was for the modem, and this was unlimited for one months use.
In the fall used the same modem, bought new card, pretty much unlimited use, cost was somewhere between $10-$15. When I am at a flat with hi-speed i-net will of course use it. With this modem I am able to use laptop while on a train, a bus or an outside cafe. Overall Ukraine's wireless coverage is not bad and as far as these wireless carriers go I hear that Peoples.net is the best once you get away from Kiev. Kievstar is still very good in and around Kiev but if your traveling through out the country Peoples.net provides really good coverage.
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Earlier this year, in the spring while in Kharkov, one of our staff bought me a Sprint modem and a People's net card. With Modem and card everything was about $70, most of this expense was for the modem, and this was unlimited for one months use.
Seems pretty strange Jack, since Sprint uses CDMA system while PeopleNet is GSM system (I think). Sure you got the wording correct?
Plus, how could your staff buy a Sprint modem in Kharkiv, if that's what you are saying.
And what do you mean a PeopleNet card? You mean a scratch off card? Scratch off cards for mobile provide a specific amount of usage, not unlimited, as I understand it.
But again . . . what do I know?! :-)
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ML, I am 100% we have a Sprint G3 modem. We are not using the Spring network, it's a modem that Sprint sell's world wide. When we compared the speed of this modem to the one Vinnvinnie and other guys had, this was by far the fastest.
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Connecting on GSM (2G or 3G) is very different than the wifi way (internet on wifi network like McDonald).
So it's not exactly a modem, in Europe we call it a 3G key.
With a jailbreacked iphone you can use it as a 3G key without have to buy one ;D.
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We viewed recently an English dubbed version of the FSU cult classic "Moscow Has No Tears."
Highly recommend.
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For computers I either had an operating one in the apartments I rented or went to a Internet Cafe. Easier for me.
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Update on immigration card.
I successfully exited Kharkiv on international flight to Vienna without any questions about the lack of immigration card.
The X-ray scanner people took a lot of time with my luggage and had me open up, etc.
But strangely they still missed the half full water bottle in my carry-on bag that I had forgotten to empty.
The new terminal sits there looking very nice . . . but unused.
Maybe it won't actually be in operation until the Euro2012 games get started.
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40 ish hot mama1
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This forum keeps attracting the classiest people :rolleyes2:
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This forum keeps attracting the classiest people :rolleyes2:
+3
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ManLooking,
Welcome home!
In almost all trip reports, the traveler writes about what he is feeling for the women he met, his assessment of the women's feelings, and any future plans to advance a relationship to the next level.
All I can infer is that you had fun boinking 5 UW concurrently but evidently not simultaneously, and the women were satisfied in possibly new ways to them.
Any thoughts from the heart that you wish to share? Future plans?
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Some posts have been split off into the unmentionable area again...
Let's give it a shot to keep it clean and above the belt, allowing the OP opportunity to respond to the questions presented.
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During my May trip to Kharkiv, I met with 12 women. I decided to revisit 4 of them on a later trip.
During my October trip to Kharkiv, I spent time with these 4 women.
I decided to not proceed further with 3 of these women and to concentrate only on one. Two of these 3 asked that we continue on a 'no strings attached basis' with respect to vacation trips to other countries, etc. One of them can pay for her own expenses (and mine also) and the other cannot. I made no commitments in that respect. I told them the same as I told the 8 women from my first trip that I did not revisit and most other of the women I have dated. That is; that I am willing to remain friends.
But additional complications arose when I was visited by a 5th woman from Kyiv that I discussed earlier.
And yet more complications arose. A female business acquaintance in Kharkiv repeatedly asked me to come to her house to meet with her sister, a 6th woman. I finally did . . . and zow, wow, and many other such exclamations.
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12 ---> 4 ---> 1 ---> 2 ---> 3
Conclusion: you have not met Ms. Right (yet)
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During my May trip to Kharkiv, I met with 12 women. I decided to revisit 4 of them on a later trip.
During my October trip to Kharkiv, I spent time with these 4 women.
I decided to not proceed further with 3 of these women and to concentrate only on one. Two of these 3 asked that we continue on a 'no strings attached basis' with respect to vacation trips to other countries, etc. One of them can pay for her own expenses (and mine also) and the other cannot. I made no commitments in that respect. I told them the same as I told the 8 women from my first trip that I did not revisit and most other of the women I have dated. That is; that I am willing to remain friends.
But additional complications arose when I was visited by a 5th woman from Kyiv that I discussed earlier.
And yet more complications arose. A female business acquaintance in Kharkiv repeatedly asked me to come to her house to meet with her sister, a 6th woman. I finally did . . . and zow, wow, and many other such exclamations.
Update:
The 6th woman mentioned above came to visit with me in USA for 7 weeks. She came on a business visa and has now returned to Ukraine.
The 5th woman mentioned above is in final stages of getting into graduate school here in USA. Getting the transcripts from her school certified, translated, etc. has proven to be major problem. Must pay bribes, and still the work is not correctly done, then it drags on and is still not completed. She will arrive in late July if all goes well with the transcripts and the student visa application.
The one woman, of the 4 mentioned first, will be joining me in Turkey in a couple of weeks for a month long trip.
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ML - whatever happened to the woman from the apartment? And of the remaining three do you find yourself leaning in any one direction?
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ML - whatever happened to the woman from the apartment? And of the remaining three do you find yourself leaning in any one direction?
She was one of the three that I mentioned as not continuing with. We still correspond and she wants to meet up with me in London or some such later this spring. Probably I won't, but not sure right now. She can and will pay all her own expenses.
I am now in Turkey with the 1 woman I chose to continue with of the 4 I visited in October/November. All going great.
The 3 women I mentioned in my last post: The one with me in Turkey now, the one wanting to come to grad school, and the one who got the business visa and visited me . . . are each in completely different situations and stages with me. How it will all play out; I haven't he foggiest idea !! Time will tell
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Back in USA now from my vacation in Turkey.
Man these trips back where you get up at 4-5 AM their time and get to bed around 2 AM our time the next day and then add the 7 hour time difference to realize you have been without sleep for about 30 hours . . . .
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For those of you involved with or about to be involved with women from Kharkiv:
A small bit of good news is that the Turkish airline named Pegasus (kind of like Southwest Air) now has direct flights from Kharkiv to Istanbul.
www.flypgs.com
This means you can get your gal to Turkey without her having to change planes in Kyiv, and sometimes even again in Vienna, etc. This is really a godsend for the gals in terms of total travel time for them and reduction of their anxiety, etc.
The costs and hassle for you, the man, will be a tradeoff.
The ticket cost on Pegasus will be half or less what it costs on the other carriers to get from Kharkiv to Istanbul.
But, you (if American) will land at IST on European side and the gal will land at SAW on Asian side.
So you, the man, must travel between airports. A big hassle for you and about $100 each way by limousine service (no it will not be a limousine, but rather a comfortable van).
However, once both of you are at SAW, Pegasus has great flights and prices (about half the price of Turkish Air) to the southern Turkish resort cities.
So a pretty good option for the guy who wants to take care of his Kharkiv gal.
Further, for those of you living in Europe, Pegasus has flights between SAW and several European cities.
So you have a very cheap way to get yourself to Kharkiv also by connecting through Istanbul.
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She was one of the three that I mentioned as not continuing with. We still correspond and she wants to meet up with me in London or some such later this spring. Probably I won't, but not sure right now. She can and will pay all her own expenses.
I am now in Turkey with the 1 woman I chose to continue with of the 4 I visited in October/November. All going great.
The 3 women I mentioned in my last post: The one with me in Turkey now, the one wanting to come to grad school, and the one who got the business visa and visited me . . . are each in completely different situations and stages with me. How it will all play out; I haven't he foggiest idea !! Time will tell
Just heard today that the one gal got accepted into grad school here in USA.
She still has to pass the visa hurdle though, so not a done deal yet.
She would arrive in late July, early August.
The gal who was just with me in Turkey wants to come visit me for month of July. A long shot if she could get a visa, but if she did . . . it could get a little dicy on the home front.
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Anyone know of any stats on the student visa approval rate for Ukrainians who have been admitted (and gotten the I-20 form) to universities in USA?
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Not directly about Kharkiv . . . but another connection.
Wizz air has now moved operations from Borispol (KBP) to Zhuliany (IEV)
in Kyiv.
Wizz air is a discount airline that I have flown on 4 times from/to KBP.
They have modern well maintained planes. Headquartered in Hungary.
Big advantage over Borispol due to location just southwest of the center and not too far from the train station.
I have driven past there while in Kyiv, but have not yet flown in or out.
First reports have it that the passport control is very slow, so some tradeoffs perhaps.
An upgrade is in the works, but probably several years down the road.
At this time, Wizz air has flights to and from IEV and:
Antalya, Turkey
Cologne
Dortmund
Hamburg
Katowice
London Luton
Munich
Oslo
Simferopol
Stockholm
Venice
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Just got SMS telling that the one gal got her Student Visa approved today.
Will talk on Skype later today to get details as to how the interview went, questions asked, length of visa, etc.
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I worked with this Gal quite a bit in preparing her for interview.
This paid off, because all of the questions she was asked, I had anticipated; and she was ready with good answers.
The interview officer even remarked that she seemed to really know what she was going to do, the ins and outs of university in USA, etc.
The only tricky part was that she had to avoid any mention of me as a friend in USA.
Any mention of a male friend in USA will doom the tourist or student visa applicant.
This made it necessary to have a very good story as to why she had only applied to one university in USA, and why it was this particular university.
So we had to really work hard on digging into the program at this university to find its strong points, who the faculty were, what their research interests were, how many graduate students in the program, what the success rate of them finding jobs after graduation, etc.
Crappy part was the Embassy schedules visa applicant interviews like our physicians schedule patients. That is to say; they tell you to come at 9:15 AM. You think you are the only one; but when she arrived, she found that about 50 people had been scheduled for 9:15. So she didn't really get to the interview window until 11:30 AM.
They won't let you bring mobile phones into the compound, so she wasn't able to call to warn those who were waiting for her of the substantial delay.
Said there were around 300 people there for interviews scheduled at various times.
From the looks on faces, etc., it appeared that around 75% of the applicants were denied the visa. Most were probably tourist visa applicants. Many, many crying babushkas upon exit.
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Many, many crying babushkas upon exit.
I wonder if the State Department has a policy to deny most babushkas because:
1. Babushkas are spending the American husband's money instead of adding money to the American economy.
2. Many Babushkas are widows and have no other children (thus, they do not have strong reason to return).
3. Other (health care, not working) ?
Nevertheless, I know Simoni's and GreginGeorgia's MIL have made lengthy visits.
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Maybe they were crying with happiness. :D I do not remember even one babushka who was denied US visa or even application for green card to visit her daughter here.
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Just heard today that the one gal got accepted into grad school here in USA.
She still has to pass the visa hurdle though, so not a done deal yet.
She would arrive in late July, early August.
The gal who was just with me in Turkey wants to come visit me for month of July. A long shot if she could get a visa, but if she did . . . it could get a little dicy on the home front.
The gal who spent time with me in Turkey (March/April) is pushing ahead with plans to try to get a Tourist Visa to come visit me in July.
She keeps wanting me to write an invitation letter for her.
I told her that would insure a visa rejection.
She is not yet believing it, since many other countries require such an invitation, as did the Soviet Union in the old days.
I have just now given her the reference sites that tell her the existence of a boyfriend in USA will doom a Tourist Visa application, so now she will spend time reading them . . . I hope.
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The gal who spent time with me in Turkey (March/April) is pushing ahead with plans to try to get a Tourist Visa to come visit me in July.
She keeps wanting me to write an invitation letter for her.
I told her that would insure a visa rejection.
She is not yet believing it, since many other countries require such an invitation, as did the Soviet Union in the old days.
I have just now given her the reference sites that tell her the existence of a boyfriend in USA will doom a Tourist Visa application, so now she will spend time reading them . . . I hope.
Of course you are right, if she continues, it will be a disaster. Cross my finger for you.
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The gal who spent time with me in Turkey (March/April) is pushing ahead with plans to try to get a Tourist Visa to come visit me in July.
She keeps wanting me to write an invitation letter for her.
I told her that would insure a visa rejection.
She is not yet believing it, since many other countries require such an invitation, as did the Soviet Union in the old days.
I have just now given her the reference sites that tell her the existence of a boyfriend in USA will doom a Tourist Visa application, so now she will spend time reading them . . . I hope.
Man, last summer I sent a girl an invitation letter to get her a tourist visa. I knew her already and I put on letter that I visited her and asked for her to visit me. Letter was to show I was providing her support while she was here.....she got a 10 year multiple entry visa and at customs the officer stamped her form with a 6 month stay with opportunity to extend for an additional 6 months......at the time of letter I told girl I did not think she would be approved BUT as I found out, there is a lot more to this story ( :-X ).
Of course...I was NOT her boyfriend.... :rolleyes: ...and I'm sticking to that story!!!!
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LA, what country was this gal a citizen of?
And what were the extenuating circumstances you alluded to?
Plus, are you sure about the 10 year? I thought the max was 5-6 years; but I am not certain about that.
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I have just now given her the reference sites that tell her the existence of a boyfriend in USA will doom a Tourist Visa application, so now she will spend time reading them . . . I hope.
On th positive side I have had had three RW I dated get a tourist visa to see me and knew of a fourth young RW get a tourist visa previously. On the negative, they were all Russian (approval rate for Russians getting a tourist visa is around 95% while for Ukrainians its about 66%), they all had good jobs with known international companies, and none said they were coming to visit me and instead said they wanted to see the country and do a little shopping which was true.
On the negative side, I know a man locally who went to great lengths to get is UW a tourist visa as he thought it would be better to sign her up for a conference and make it look like an educational experience (problem was, it was a lie and the embassy smoked her out and declined the request as she did not bring any documentation from her work to support the inquiry). So then he thought he would have her apply again and just say she was visiting friends and got letters from his senator and two congressman, but this only lead to his UW getting a lecture and yelled at by the embassy staffer. Since then I heard he has ended the relationship as he thought my advice to go see her a number of times in her country and interact with her family and friends was too much work (in this case it's probably a good thing as I saw it as a doomed relationship based on his personality which lacked a lot of patience).
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Since then I heard he has ended the relationship as he thought my advice to go see her a number of times in her country and interact with her family and friends was too much work (in this case it's probably a good thing as I saw it as a doomed relationship based on his personality which lacked a lot of patience).
1. Visiting her is "...too much work."
2. "Lacked a lot of patience."
Each of these suggest a personality flaw for marrying a RW. Together, it would be impossible for a marriage to get started on sound footing (little respect, no time to help her adjust, etc.).
Nevertheless, if he were seeking GFE sex and she a shopping trip, why not (other than the $$$ spent would be more than finding a local woman for the same)?
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I do not remember even one babushka who was denied US visa or even application for green card to visit her daughter here.
What is this about 'application for green card to visit . . . here?'
Never heard of it before. Anyone else have comments on this?
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LA, what country was this gal a citizen of?
And what were the extenuating circumstances you alluded to?
Plus, are you sure about the 10 year? I thought the max was 5-6 years; but I am not certain about that.
She was from Moldova and it is extremely difficult to get anything out of that country( or in). She had already been denied visa's several times before in previous years.
Man, I only brought up the fact that sending the invitation letter is NOT reason for denying visa
she HAS to have one from someone!!! And better yet from someone she knows personally.
The circumstances.....well lets just say it is difficult to convince the US embassy that girl will come back to her country when visa expires and girls can go to great lengths to exaggerate
their situation....did I say lie?? :tmi:
Yes, it was a 10 year.......it expires in late 2019.
By the way, I have also heard that it is easier for a russian to get tourist visa, not sure about the 95%. A girl I met on elenas used to tell me that no one she has sent an invitation for has been enied a visa.
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1. Visiting her is "...too much work."
2. "Lacked a lot of patience."
Each of these suggest a personality flaw for marrying a RW. Together, it would be impossible for a marriage to get started on sound footing (little respect, no time to help her adjust, etc.).
Nevertheless, if he were seeking GFE sex and she a shopping trip, why not (other than the $$$ spent would be more than finding a local woman for the same)?
:offtopic:
Yep, he was a classic example of a man who should not look for someone overseas. The reason he said he was looking was "all women in the US are bitches", which explains a lot of why he could not find anyone here.
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The reason he said he was looking was "all women in the US are bitches"
Any woman would complain/bitch if she worked at building a relationship and the man cared less and had little time for her. You local friend reminds me of a golfing buddy who always proclaimed that there were only two rules for women:
RULE 1. All women are bitches (except he used the c-word).
RULE 2. There are no exceptions.
Of course, he amused his golfing buddies, yet he seemed lonely.
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The gal who spent time with me in Turkey (March/April) is pushing ahead with plans to try to get a Tourist Visa to come visit me in July.
This gal was rejected for the tourist visa.
Probably a good thing, as the other gal who got the student visa plans to arrive sometime the third week in July. She is checking out flight schedules now.
It would have gotten a little dicy!
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ML,
Are you down to just one? If so, how are you taking it? Palpitations? ;)
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ML,
Are you down to just one? If so, how are you taking it? Palpitations? ;)
No, I am not ruling anyone out at this point.
The gal who got turned down for the tourist visa is really top notch. She was the one I spent a month with in Turkey back in March/April.
Another gal came here on business visa and spent several weeks with me before my trip to Turkey. We also had a great time together.
This gal coming on student visa was the wife of a business associate of mine who died a couple of years back. I have known her for several years but we only became intimate last year. Who knows how it will pan out when we spend a lot of time together.
Anyway, she has several hundred thousand dollars from her husband's life insurance (he was executive of a Belgium owned firm), so I am not serving the role of mule!!
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The Student Visa Gal purchased her airplane ticket.
She will arrive in five weeks.
They can arrive 30 days before first day of University classes as shown on I-20 form, and she made it exactly 30 days.
$972 bucks for a one way ticket Ukraine to USA.
Plus $50 bucks for second checked bag and $200 for third checked bag.
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Man.... are student visas different from other visas in that no booked return flight needed?
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Man.... are student visas different from other visas in that no booked return flight needed?
The information I have seen on this is that a return flight is not recommended (and not needed) due to the fact that you never know how long the I94 will be stamped for. When my RW sent a letter to the embassy asking if she should have a return flight scheduled from the US back to FSU, they emphatically told her she should not have a return flight booked. Something to think about anyway.
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The information I have seen on this is that a return flight is not recommended (and not needed) due to the fact that you never know how long the I94 will be stamped for. When my RW sent a letter to the embassy asking if she should have a return flight scheduled from the US back to FSU, they emphatically told her she should not have a return flight booked. Something to think about anyway.
This is a little hard to believe, because most and I mean most people who are vacationing have already planned their stay and buy round trip tickets.
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Let me clarify, sorry.
The question she posed to the embassy was... do I need a return flight booked in order to enter the country...
The response was, absolutely not... with reasonable suggestions such as:
- You may book the return flight on a date that exceeds the time allowed in your I94 stamp necessitating a flight change (costs money)
- You may book a return flight and realize you want to stay longer, necessitating a flight change (costs money)
So... come, get your stamp, then determine when you want to leave based on your circumstances.
The point was, a return flight isn't mandatory/necessary. Again, this could just be a reasonable/open embassy staffer and as I am finding, a lot of this is subjective....which I find irritating.
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That sounds correct.
Most people don't even buy tickets at all, until after their visa is approved. Then they buy tickets to fit with their plans. It isn't often that a vacationer has the flexibility to decide to stay and extra month or two.
It sounds like their have been some changes recently, as before when a visa was issued, it was automatic for 90 day stay. Of course they allways could deny entry at immigration, but it almost never happened.
These changes are positive for men and women considering foreign mates.
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Her student visa is for 3 years.
So yes they are quite different from tourist visa. There is no expectation that the student will go back until the end of the 3 years. It is allowed however. With the student visa, they can come and go anytime they wish within the 3 year window.
Regarding round trip ticket; she would have gotten it, but the airlines will not book a ticket longer than 300 days in the future. And she doesn't want to go back for a 2 week visit with her family until July or August, so it was not possible to book the round trip.
But once she is here, she will start booking round trips to go to Ukraine and return here after staying in Ukraine a couple of weeks.
In short, for most university students, it is not really possible to book a round trip ticket for their initial flight into USA because most don't plan to return home for a visit until the following summer; and the 300 day airline rule screws that plan.
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Most people don't even buy tickets at all, until after their visa is approved. Then they buy tickets to fit with their plans.
Gylden, you are still not quite on board with what Salty is referring to.
Visa approval and the stamp on I-94 are quite different things.
The I-94 does not even come into play until the person arrives at airport in USA.
The person might get a 5 year Tourist visa, and upon arrival in USA, their I-94 might be stamped for only 10 days. So no matter what, the return ticket purchased in advance could be in trouble. Not saying it happens often, but the risk is still there.
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Gylden, you are still not quite on board with what Salty is referring to.
Visa approval and the stamp on I-94 are quite different things.
The I-94 does not even come into play until the person arrives at airport in USA.
The person might get a 5 year Tourist visa, and upon arrival in USA, their I-94 might be stamped for only 10 days. So no matter what, the return ticket purchased in advance could be in trouble. Not saying it happens often, but the risk is still there.
Man...are you saying the girl's 3 year student visa is guaranteed to be stamped on I-94 for three years...with multiple entry's?
Reason I asked, the girl that recently stayed with me has a 10 year multiple entry tourist visa, she was advised to get roundtrip ticket for only a thirty day stay...she ended up with 90 day stamp so that return portion of trip was lost.
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There is never a guarantee. But it is almost certain the I-94 will be stamped for the same time period as the visa and the I-20.
The student visa is in a little bit different category.
The stampers know the student needs to be in country to complete the degree program they were accepted into and the visa issued for.
It would cause a huge problem for USA image if students accepted into a 3 or 5 year (or whatever) program at a USA university, got a visa for the 3 or 5 years, and then the stampers at airport only gave them 30 days, 60 days, one year or whatever. It would defeat the whole purpose of giving student visas.
Only reason the stampers would have to not give the full period is if they suspected something phoney or dangerous going on. But in that case, they would probably just refuse entry rather than screwing up an academic plan.
But none of the above applies to a Tourist Visa.
And, by the way, the 'girl' in my case is in her early 40s. :)
Also, different from other men here who got involved in student visas, this gal approached me with the idea of coming here on student visa. I didn't come up with idea of student visa for her as a way to get a 'trial run' in excess of the 90 days available with Fiancee visa as others have done.
This gal wants to get a masters in business to help her manage her small fortune.
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The default and max period for a b2 visa stamp is 6 months.
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Gylden, you are still not quite on board with what Salty is referring to.
Visa approval and the stamp on I-94 are quite different things.
The I-94 does not even come into play until the person arrives at airport in USA.
The person might get a 5 year Tourist visa, and upon arrival in USA, their I-94 might be stamped for only 10 days. So no matter what, the return ticket purchased in advance could be in trouble. Not saying it happens often, but the risk is still there.
I think I am up to speed, the difference we are talking about is the difference between the student visa (in which the return trip could be undetermined as of yet) vs. the tourist visa (in which most people have a determined length of stay due to vacation time/financial resources) I am pretty sure if someone traveling for tourism and had a return ticket for say three weeks later, no one would stamp 10 days on the I-94.
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My outlaws have been to the US a combined 4 times and I have never seen a departure date on their I-94.
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My outlaws have been to the US a combined 4 times...
Are you importing criminals on a regular basis :o ;D?
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Are you importing criminals on a regular basis :o ;D ?
Sandro, some people here use "outlaws" as a term of endearment for the inlaws.
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The 40 something student visa gal will be arriving in just over 2 weeks.
She wants me to help her choose and do the transaction to purchase (she will pay all) a new car.
She has been doing some research and thinks she wants a small hatchback priced less than $20,000.
The Hyundai Elantra Touring and Subaru Impreza Hatchback come to mind.
Anyone have suggestions of other cars and recommendations?
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I strongly suggest you look at the Ford Focus hatchback. My son has one and it is one nice little car.
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My 'student' friend has been wire transferring $10,000 a week into my bank account here in USA for last 4 weeks. She arrives in 3 days, so I guess it is time for me to head south with the $40,000. 8)
Her tuition alone for one year will be around $20,000 and minimum of $20,000 for a new small car. So where the he!! will the grocery money come from??
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My 'student' friend has been wire transferring $10,000 a week into my bank account here in USA for last 4 weeks. She arrives in 3 days, so I guess it is time for me to head south with the $40,000. 8)
Her tuition alone for one year will be around $20,000 and minimum of $20,000 for a new small car. So where the he!! will the grocery money come from??
Better yet, what are you going to tell the IRS when your bank sends them the info about that those 40 Gs?
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Better yet, what are you going to tell the IRS when your bank sends them the info about that those 40 Gs?
In the final analysis, that is not a problem if there is documentation (which there will be) tracking it etc.
But before the final analysis, it will be a big PIA if I am audited, as I have been before.
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Hope the 40 G is clean.
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There wouldn't be too many Ukrainians with $40,000 in "clean" money.
I'd be more worried about the bank flagging this under money laundering legislaton (which will happen, unless you routinely deposit large sums of cash on a monthly basis) than I would be about the IRS.
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She wants me to help her choose and do the transaction to purchase (she will pay all) a new car.
She has been doing some research and thinks she wants a small hatchback priced less than $20,000.
Is she going to export her car to the Ukraine?
I heard that the custom duties on cars imported to the Ukraine are 100% or more.
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http://www.motortrend.com/roadtests/alternative/112_1003_2011_honda_cr_z_drive/index.html (http://www.motortrend.com/roadtests/alternative/112_1003_2011_honda_cr_z_drive/index.html)
Whatever you chose find the invoice price on the internet (or simply ask the dealer) and don't pay a dime more. Simple.
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Hope the 40 G is clean.
There wouldn't be too many Ukrainians with $40,000 in "clean" money.
Read my prior posts backstream a bit. This is life insurance money and is in a Belgium financial institution.
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So the money is clean.
Are there any implications other than morality about money that originated from some venture considered illegal by US law? I realize that the Feds trace large money transactions looking for terrorist connections. While $40k would probably trigger some analysis, it would seemingly be difficult to trace money laundered within Ukraine unless the Ukrainian government 1) had reliable and comprehensive financial transaction data and 2) allowed the US access to such.
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The bird is safely in the air from Paris.
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Gal arrived. We spent two and half days in the big city doing a thousand things and she in high spirits. Got a lot of caffeine down her in afternoons and early evening to try to get her onto our time schedule. But she always was an early to bed, early to rise person, so only moderately successful in getting her to stay awake past 9 PM or so.
But now at end of third day, we are into house, and the exhaustion (I think that is what it is) and/or jet lag really caught up with her. She not feeling well. No temperature, no headache, no stomach ache, but just feels like crap. Will see what morning brings; and if not better will have to go to physician. That will be really, really, big bucks because medical insurance hasn't kicked in yet. Oh well, such is life.
Just remembered a similar thing usually happens to me. I don't really have much problem with jet lag in going East to FSU. The Adrenalin, excitement, etc., seems to take care of everything. But, when I come back West to the regular routine life, I am mostly out of it for nearly a week. Who knows.
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Give her some melatonin. About 9 mg; that should help quite a bit. You can find it in the vitamin aisle.
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Give her some melatonin. About 9 mg; that should help quite a bit. You can find it in the vitamin aisle.
Thanks for tip. I have used the melatonin before, but didn't help me.
Anyway, she was 100% better the next day and frisky like a 20 year old!!
So am very happy that that problem solved itself with just more rest.
She did the first supermarket bit today and getting used to where everything is in kitchen, etc.
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Daily phone calls back to Mama; but short.
Mama constantly worries about the many bad things that are certain to happen to her gal here in USA.
A continued worry is that her baby (40 y.o.) will not get enough to eat.
This is pretty funny given that being over-slender is not generally thought of as being a serious epidemic in USA.
Anyway, I was getting a little peeeed about hearing about some of these worries, so the gal has agreed to stop telling me about these silly worries of her mother.
Mama has never had a PC or used the internet. The gal left her PC with Mama, and grandson said he would eventually teach Mama how to use, get her hooked up to Internet, Skype, etc. But Mama surprised everyone by saying: "I can and will learn all of this myself." And I know she is a very sharp cookie, so I think it will happen.
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Daily phone calls back to Mama; but short.
Mama constantly worries about the many bad things that are certain to happen to her gal here in USA.
A continued worry is that her baby (40 y.o.) will not get enough to eat.
This is pretty funny given that being over-slender is not generally thought of as being a serious epidemic in USA.
Anyway, I was getting a little peeeed about hearing about some of these worries, so the gal has agreed to stop telling me about these silly worries of her mother.
Mama has never had a PC or used the internet. The gal left her PC with Mama, and grandson said he would eventually teach Mama how to use, get her hooked up to Internet, Skype, etc. But Mama surprised everyone by saying: "I can and will learn all of this myself." And I know she is a very sharp cookie, so I think it will happen.
It's really not silly worries. They are very real for her mother. Embrace it and take them head on and address them. If you have a future with this lady you'll want to help soothe and keep mama happy. There's truth to the old cliche "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"
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Got the gal set up with her own checking account. Some banks won't open accounts without social security number, which students can't get as they not authorized to work anyway. The SS number really not required, even under the post 9/11 new laws, but the banks want it anyway.
But University told us of a couple of banks that will open accounts without the SS number, so got that done. Will transfer the 40 Gs over to her account soon.
We have been testing out cars, and she wants to get the Hyundai Elantra. Some very good deals on 2011s now as the 2012s coming. Of course, once driven off the lot, the 2011 will be considered 2 years old, but that's what she decided.
Apparently UA drivers license good for only 60 days, so we got the study booklet today. She already practicing driving one of my cars, so that part coming along OK. She has the UA drivers license, but not much experience in driving. She is happy I don't scream at her mistakes, as apparently the instructor did in UA a couple of years back.
The drivers license people also require SS number. I asked them how foreign students get license without SS number. The procedure is: Must go to SS office, apply, and get rejection letter, and take this rejection letter to license bureau. What a 'Catch 22' solution !!
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It's really not silly worries. They are very real for her mother. Embrace it and take them head on and address them. If you have a future with this lady you'll want to help soothe and keep mama happy. There's truth to the old cliche "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"
Yes, I understand all of this. But remember, I am not trying to woo this gal, nor did I invite her here. It was she who 'asked' to come and live with me while getting her MBA.
Yes, we are having a very good time and seem very compatible; but I don't like her mother and others thinking or insinuating I won't take care of her properly, when I wasn't even the one to initiate all of this.
Sort of like: You sweet talked her into giving up her life in UA and coming to you . . . so now you make sure she gets enough to eat, etc.
I am like: WTF.
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MJ,
You sound indifferent if not cold about this woman. Is this your internal defense at work?
Surely she is more than a semen receptacle. You would not have help her with her move (and excluded the possibility of other realtionships while residing at your place) if you did not feel something.
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MJ,
You sound indifferent if not cold about this woman. Is this your internal defense at work?
Surely she is more than a semen receptacle. You would not have help her with her move (and excluded the possibility of other realtionships while residing at your place) if you did not feel something.
You are way off base here.
I am not cold nor indifferent.
It's just that she initiated the move to come be with me; while her mother and others are acting like I conned her into coming and now they must make sure this man doesn't treat her badly by not feeding her enough etc.
Anyway the food part is silly as we are both gaining weight, so must watch that. Finally got back to my routine of working out in my basement weight room, and she an eager participant, so we both plan to try to maintain our shape and health.
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It's just that she initiated the move to come be with me.....
You have never revealed a romantic side, so I would say based on your posts you are closer to indifference than to affection. Glad to know you are not indifferent. I was not trying to bust your chops, and I am sure she did not have to twist your arm for long until you consented.
....while her mother and others are acting like I conned her into coming and now they must make sure this man doesn't treat her badly by not feeding her enough etc.
Who knows what they are thinking unless you speak their language and have talked to them at length. Their behavior seems normal. Any good mama would worry about her daughter moving to a strange land. Plus they probably miss her.
Anyway, enjoy yourself. We are jealous.
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Re an earlier post: why does acknowledging a boyfriend in the US doom a tourist visa? My girlfriend is in Ulyanovsk and has never traveled. I'm trying to get her to Orlando, so would Disney World be a better visa reason than me? Any advice much appreciated.
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The specific rules the US Embassy officer must follows states that they are to assume that all persons requesting vistors visa are actually intending to come to USA and stay permanently. So the burden is on the applicant to try to convince the officer that they are not intending to come and stay permanently.
Existence of boyfriend in USA will NOT help the applicant show they are not intending to stay; but rather the opposite.
I have posted the exact words from the US Embassy sites a couple of times before.
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Dunecat,
When considering visa options, just follow these three guidelines:
1. Any applicant is considered guilty of potential immigration fraud until the applicant proves herself innocent.
2. Regulators are not pragmatic, so you can not assume a pragmatic reason is sufficient proof.
3. Administration of the regulations is similar to Italian administration of regulations. Americans are normally free to do anything that is not prohibited by the regulations. OTOH Italians can only do those things that are expressly allowed by regulations. (so I am told :D )
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Italians can only do those things that are expressly allowed by regulations. (so I am told :D )
Rubbish, we may be more regulated than in the US, but our codes do not include anything like the last of the Royal Navy's Articles of War (1757):
35. All other crimes not capital committed by any person or persons in the fleet, which are not mentioned in this act, or for which no punishment is hereby directed to be inflicted, shall be punished by the laws and customs in such cases used at sea.
;D
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Thanks very much, but that leaves a hitch. Anna's incapable of falsehood, so what if she's asked a direct question about a boyfriend in the USA? Also, what if she's not capable of manufacturing another story? Oddly, we do intend to comply with the law, in both countries . . . but will the truth doom us? Any ideas for options?
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Sandro,
Great response. You have been notably silent recently - so you have not been away but simply ignoring us.
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Help!!
My refrigerator and kitchen counter tops are being overtaken by containers and ingredients used to make Kefir and Syrnike cheese!!
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Help!!
My refrigerator and kitchen counter tops are being overtaken by containers and ingredients used to make Kefir and Syrnike cheese!!
Get use to it. I accuse my wife of manufacturing botulism and WMD :D
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Alternatively, send the cause of your discontent to us, regardless of whether the cause is the containers or the woman who puts them there. We are lacking an inflow of FSU culture in our kitchen and will be happy to get some.
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ManLooking: shouldn't you change your name to ManFound ;)
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Get use to it. I accuse my wife of manufacturing botulism and WMD :D
LOL! Me three >:D
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Gal spent all day yesterday at University orientation for International Students. Came home beaming. Couldn't believe how nice everyone was and all the services that were mentioned for students.
A jillion students from China, India and the Middle East.
I had gotten a list that showed 6 new students from Russia and 4 from Ukraine, but she didn't see them.
This afternoon we went to picnic for new international students. Again she couldn't believe how well prepared and everything was and the diversity of the nationalities represented. We moved from table to table and struck up conversations with a dozen or more students.
One young man from Nigeria told about preparing for Medical School followed by internship, residency, etc. So I asked if he had finished one degree already in Nigeria. He said: "No, I will be a beginning freshman and just arrived in town this morning." Wow, talk about planning out your life. Said he was actually interested in studying in Ukraine. We told him about needing to learn Ukrainian language, and he said he was interested in doing that. So my Gal taught him a few words. When we prepared to move on to another table, he correctly repeated about 10 words including dosvadanya. We were impressed.
I spied one good looking gal wearing short frilly dress, and smoking. So I said: There is a FSU gal for sure. We went up to her and I asked her what country she was from. France !!
My Gal spied another tall, slender, good looking gal wearing micro mini. She sat at a table and within seconds was surrounded by 6 guys. We agreed she must be from FSU. So I went over and asked her what country she was from. France again !!
And our resident Frenchman is off in Dnipro !!!
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Several married posters have commented that it is sometimes hard (or tiring) to keep up with their younger FSU wives with respect to energy level, etc.
I am seeing that my Gal does have much more energy than I do; however it is not posing any problems for me or her.
She is content to to work at her speed in the yard, garden, housecleaning, etc., while I go about things in a more leisurely pace or maybe even show up for work in the yard much later than her while I finish the newspaper, etc.
Actually, I am quite happy that she has such energy as there is a lot to do with my quite large house and extensive property.
And she is not a nightclub person, so the issue will not arise that she wants to go dancing while I do not.
In fact, she is an early to bed person, so I can last longer into the night than she can.
In short, the fact she is more active than me during daytime hours hasn't caused any problems and I see none looming.
Perhaps others have comments as to how this difference in energy plays out in their individual situations.
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Several married posters have commented that it is sometimes hard (or tiring) to keep up with their younger FSU wives with respect to energy level, etc......Perhaps others have comments as to how this difference in energy plays out in their individual situations.
Not in my marriage. My wife is not lazy by any means, but her daily living batteries aren't as charged as mine. Not recreationally, sports, or leisure activities.
We went to Manhattan a couple of years ago and drove down the Turnpike all the way to DC. Walking was our main goal as the sights, both in NY and DC required a whole lot of walking. We took breaks at her bidding.
I'm up just before 6 everyday, even on weekends. I'd play a full round of golf, walking, and would come home around 9-10 AM as she would be just waking up. We would either bike on the beach or play tennis...she'd be pooped by day's end, and I would still want to go out either dancing or go bowling with some friends. Or at least meet up with them for dinner, socialize or something. She's just not wired/charged in that way...Sometimes she'd be so tired she can't even have them come to us to play board games. She'd rather have a quiet evening with me streaming...I'm as hyper as pitbull. If I don't expend my energy during the day, I wreck havoc on humanity by 6 PM.
Maybe in a few more years...
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English lessons in full swing now.
Just finished my work of proofreading and correcting her first set of homework essays. OMG . . . what a job!! This task could lead to our first conflict. Not that I don't want to do it . . . just that she is somewhat peeeed that she can't just write English in the same format as Ukrainian language. Her emails to me were very well written, but when she tries to discuss and critique a story for homework . . . it is pretty awful English and virtually non-understandable meanings.
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English lessons in full swing now.
Just finished my work of proofreading and correcting her first set of homework essays. OMG . . . what a job!! This task could lead to our first conflict. Not that I don't want to do it . . . just that she is somewhat peeeed that she can't just write English in the same format as Ukrainian language. Her emails to me were very well written, but when she tries to discuss and critique a story for homework . . . it is pretty awful English and virtually non-understandable meanings.
She is not peeeed; she is frustrated IMO. She really needs your help. This woman means something to you, so I presume you really want to help her. Thus, you will not have a conflict (other than demands on your time).
Did she pass TOEFL? If not, is she enrolled in a transitional program: mostly English studies and one class in a degree program with normal students? My woman's daughter is doing the latter, as she is at Level 3 proficiency.
This takes time and patience. Ain't love grand!
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The concept of 'Passing the TOEFL' is not quite correct because different programs have differing cut off scores for what they require.
She did not even take the TOEFL but will in December.
Right now she is enrolled in the Intensive English Program which involves 21 semester hours of class attendance at University each week. The homework is just now getting started, but we have been warned it will build to enormous portions.
She has already been admitted to masters program, subject to getting at least the cut-off score (required by this program) on TOEFL.
I am quite willing to help much, but I was just commenting on her frustration with not being able to write in the free style that is common to Russian and Ukrainian. Apparently you can put nouns, verbs, etc., anywhere in the sentence and it makes sense; but in English it doesn't work.
Her understanding of spoken English and her own spoken English is quite good. And she wrote me many emails with very acceptable English. But when having to write about a topic she is not familiar with . . . that is where the atrocious wording comes out.
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We are both into walking for exercise, so we regularly walk the streets in my area. The local men my age are quite jealous, and have told me so. Size 6, forty something women are not common hereabouts.
I told my Gal of this jealousy, and the fact that I like it. 8)
She doesn't quite understand it.
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She has purchased the Hyundai Elantra with her own money.
We both really like the way it drives and handles.
She is getting a lot of practice in driving, but not ready to be on her own yet.
Her mother asked how she was getting back and forth to school.
When told that I go back and forth each trip with her; the mother said: That is too much work for him.
When told that soon she would drive entirely by herself; the mother said: OMG, don't do it !!
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MKL,
You are having a great time! She sounds like a good woman.
I understand now your explanation of her writing style. I believe I have seen this before. My ex-wife was mostly self-taught in English and she concentrated on vocabulary. Her vocabulary was awesome, yet her sentences were in the Russian style with English words substituted for Russian. Conversations were breezy, and in fact one would marvel at her unique syntax, thinking it something akin to Shakespeare. Her sentences would never suffice for scholastic work except possibly creative writing. :D
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Mini trip. Going to Niagara Falls for Labor Day weekend.
I know the view from Canada side is better, but don't want to take unnecessary chances with her leaving and re-entering USA.
Can do it on Student Visa, but always some risk involved in getting back into USA.
The hotel websites are very nasty. Even when you put in Niagara Falls, NY, USA; some of the hotels that pop up are in Canada. Quite a headache.
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Mini trip. Going to Niagara Falls for Labor Day weekend.
I know the view from Canada side is better, but don't want to take unnecessary chances with her leaving and re-entering USA.
A very cheap way to send her back; courtesy of the Canadian government.
Can do it on Student Visa, but always some risk involved in getting back into USA.
Are you sure about that?
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Trip to Niagara Falls went great. We are very compatible being together 24/7, mainly because she is so calm most of the time. Nothing rattles her. She is not at all 'high strung' like many of her sister FSUW and she is very low maintenance. Can even get dressed up to the nines and ready to leave before me. And is equally at ease putting on the jeans or shorts and sneakers to stroll around.
She wore super short white shorts (size 4-6 on a five feet seven frame with flowing long blonde hair) with pink T-shirt on one walking foray. We talked to a couple of late 20s guys to get some directions. There were thousands of people out and about. About 7 hours later, these same two guys came up to us to ask if we had gotten to where we wanted to go. I said that I was surprised they had remembered us and recognized us with so many people out and about. They just smiled. Then I looked at her . . . and realized why they remembered us!!
The many porker teenage and 20 something gals help the spirit of my early 40s Gal quite a bit. She likes to point them out, and then ask me how her legs and ass compare!!!
Since this was my second view of the Falls, it didn't quite have the same WOW factor as the first time around. But it did WOW the gal. She raved about the view and the stupendous power of the falling water.
Talked to her mother on mobile while we were near the Falls. Her mother told her it was too dangerous and to not go near the railing again. :-)
We stayed at a 5 star hotel a couple of blocks from the falls. I was kinda peed that they didn't have parking on site, as they took our car away to park it. But, as a consolation prize, they drove us to restaurants, etc., in a gigantically stretched black Lincoln Town car at no additional cost. The Gal got dressed up in her new black dress, black high heels and pearls, and felt like a movie star arriving in the Lincoln. The 20 something desk clerk even said WOW when we came into the lobby . . . and he wasn't looking at me.
Took her new Elantra on this trip to put some mileage on it. It really is a fun car to drive and despite the small 4 banger, it performed well on the Interstates with no problem in quickly running up from 60 to 80 when needed to pass, etc. Quite a smooth ride also, despite the relatively light weight.
Gal is getting a lot of experience in driving, but still has quite a ways to go. She stares straight ahead and doesn't know what is happening beside her. Twice, when she passed another car on Interstate, she cut back in much too soon and the other drivers had to brake. I about sheeeeet my pants. She told me earlier I was a good driving instructor because I didn't yell at her . . . but on these two occasions, I couldn't help from yelling at her. After that, she took my advice to see the car in rearview mirror before cutting back in. Hope the lesson sticks.
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It seems like you enjoy your time. :) Good for you. Just one thing...
To my mind, you try too hard to convince your audience that your woman is a hotty. The harder you try to do that, the less believable you sound.
Why would you need to touch imaginations of others with the purpose to make them desiring your co-habitant? This is a rhetorical q-n.
I would delete the sentence about your woman feeling better after comparing herself to porker younger women. Men appear to prefer women who feel great after comparing themselves to toned and well-shaped younger ladies, not porker ones.
It is also better to omit age of men who wow at your woman. 20 something guys have such a hormone composition pressuring on their bodies that they often cannot hold back their wows at the sight of anything that seem boinkable to them, even at the sight of porker teenagers in short shorts.
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boinkable
:offtopic:
lol, I'm thinking this is an ultimate sign of you having fully transitioned into western slang/dialog.
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I aways get a kick out of reading some posts on these boards where some guy says he is thinking of going to FSU to live for awhile and maybe he will teach English to earn some pocket money.
I knew that just because we can talk and write in English in no way means we can teach it; particularly when it come to the part where we need to explain WHY we are using certain words, etc.
It all is coming home to me now as I try to help my Gal with her English lessons.
I vaguely remember past, present, and future; and maybe even past perfect. But who the he!! ever heard of past perfect progressive?
And a 'gerund.' Got to be kidding; right??!! :o
I now find it quite puzzling why I can actually write semi-understandable sentences when I haven't the foggiest notion of the rules of English.
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In another recent thread, there was a discussion of prices FSUW will pay for winter coats, etc.
On the way back from our visit to Niagara Falls, we stopped at a Burlington Coat Factory outlet store.
With her own money, Gal bought a very nice looking white winter parka for $59.99. It had an original price tag of $160. She also bought a pair of suede leather winter boots for $69.99 that had an original tag of $190. As it turns out, the coat store sells more than just coats.
She is extremely pleased with both items.
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Gal is now driving herself back and forth to school in her Elantra. So gives me more free time. She is doing pretty good in the English classes, but it takes tons of homework time.
We recently downloaded the latest version of Abbyy Lingvo X5 Russian - English. It has quite a bit more features than the previous Lingvo 11 we had, so I highly recommend it. Has voice pronunciation, some lessons, many alternative word translation meanings, etc.
She has adapted pretty well to keeping bread out of the house. So rather than putting on a few 'American pounds' she has actually lost some weight in her two and a half months here. And, thanks to her enthusiastic use of my weight room, I am getting into better shape also.
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Gal is really enjoying her university English classes. She had worried about being probably the 'oldest' student (mid 40s), but it hasn't been a problem at all. She interacts well with the mostly 20 somethings. She has even been helping them mature a little bit by giving some life advice.
Example: In a break discussion, the younger ones said: Why spend so much time on constructing sentences for homework because the teacher really doesn't spend much time correcting and it doesn't count much toward grade.
Gal said: I am not constructing the sentences for the teacher. I am doing it for myself so that I can learn English to the highest level possible.
Interesting also in that in the reading class, the (man) teacher has students read aloud from a novel. After a few sentences he cuts them off and asks next student to read. Gal told me it was strange that he let her read on and on much longer than the others.
I professed to not have an answer to this . . . but I suspect it is the FSU accent he likes to hear!! 8)
Gal is extremely happy here and we are both quite enjoying our time together. Of course I know that these relationships can turn on a dime, so am not naive about this.
Her mother continues to be a little bit of a worry for me.
In last Skype talk mother said: Are you homesick?
Gal replied: No, not at all.
Mother: I don't believe you.
Mother: How are you doing in classes? I suspect you are the worst student.
Gal: No, I am doing fine. I am near the top of the group. Why would you think I am worst since I was always at top in my University studies?
Mother: Yes, but you are too old for University now.
Bread continues to be a little bit of a problem. Gal is keeping stoic about it, but could blow up any day.
I recently bought a loaf (12 grain most healthy type) strictly so we could have BLTs (love those babies, and Gal is hooked on them now too). I took out 4 slices and then started putting the remainder, four slices at a time in freezer bags for later BLTs, one week at a time. I had to wrestle a couple of slices away from Gal as she wanted to keep them out . . . for later in day.
We laughed a little over this struggle, but I knew she was a little serious about it. She said: My mother would be really mad if she found out about this 'no bread rule.'
I said: Look at how great you look after losing a few pounds. Your mother will be proud of you. Gal: No she won't, she always told me I was too skinny anyway, so she will be very worried when I look even skinnier. Note: She is not skinny, but rather is in my nice slender categorization with a size 6.
We are going to Washington DC for 4 days this weekend. Was just able to squeeze this time slot in between the MLK activities this past weekend and the Marine Corps Marathon the last weekend in October. Can you believe that 30,000 plus runners participate in the MCM?
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Bread is a near religous thing with Russians, no...make that a religous thing. Give her the bread and a gym pass )))
Seriously, give her the bread ;)
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She is doing pretty good in the English classes, but it takes tons of homework time.
Fantastic news ML.
I can't wait for her to start posting here on RWD! >:D
GOB
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Bread continues to be a little bit of a problem. Gal is keeping stoic about it, but could blow up any day.
Quit being such a stingy bast#rd and buy the lady a nice bread making machine.
TG gave me a wonderful recipe for Russian black bread and Marina enjoys making it every now and then.
GOB
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Bread is a near religous thing with Russians, no...make that a religous thing. Give her the bread and a gym pass )))
Seriously, give her the bread ;)
Bread is arguably the worst thing for you to eat, JR. Unless you're Jewish, then it's OK. You can then break a loaf or two everyday if you want. But then if you're Jewish, you can't go to the gym. Jewish folks don't work-out as you'll never see one near a gym...
There's a guy who opened up a plush gym in Beverly Hills couple of years ago or so. It went broke after 8 months. No one showed up, LOL.
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Quit being such a stingy bast#rd and buy the lady a nice bread making machine.
TG gave me a wonderful recipe for Russian black bread and Marina enjoys making it every now and then.
GOB
Has nothing to do with cost, but rather with weight and health.
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Yet you are still controlling her. That was the gist of GOB's post.
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Yet you are still controlling her. That was the gist of GOB's post.
I seek to control no one. No one is ever forced to visit my home, eat a non-bread meal in my home, or live in my home.
If anyone seeks bread rather than my company, the door is open.
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Who is "starting in" on you? Do you not see you are unreasonable?
If an adult woman wishes to eat bread, why wouldn't you allow her to buy and eat bread?
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Bread is a near religous thing with Russians, no...make that a religous thing. Give her the bread and a gym pass )))
Seriously, give her the bread ;)
We already have gym passes and I have my own weight room, we walk regularly, and do Pilates.
Bread would negate the benefits already being obtained.
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Bread would negate the benefits already being obtained.
Shouldn't that be her decision, not yours?
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If an adult woman wishes to eat bread, why wouldn't you allow her to buy and eat bread?
She is free to do that anytime she wants . . . in her own apartment or house.
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There's a guy who opened up a plush gym in Beverly Hills couple of years ago or so. It went broke after 8 months. No one showed up, LOL.
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"my house my rules". The basis of a relationship based on mutual respect and love . . .
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She is free to do that anytime she wants . . . in her own apartment or house.
The words above would be a big red flag for me. And it is not just about bread. Some women don't pay attention to such statements or they think they are smarter than a man and after you can see them on RW forums... with their sad stories...
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"my house my rules". The basis of a relationship based on mutual respect and love . . .
+1 (http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj130/Olga_AH/Smiles/19.gif)
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"my house my rules". The basis of a relationship based on mutual respect and love . . .
Well, clearly the woman knows his rule and has agreed to it. If he truly has her "forced" to live a breadless lifestyle against her wishes that would be another thing.
My advice to guys marrying an FSUW, "Buy her a loaf of artisan pumpernickel." Try several types/brands and let her pick which one she likes best.
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The words above would be a big red flag for me. And it is not just about bread. Some women don't pay attention to such statements or they think they are smarter than a man and after you can see them on RW forums... with their sad stories...
There are as many (if not more) self deluded FSUW in this game as Western men. We know several that chose to ignore "quirky personality traits" or thought they could change their man after they were married. Of course, they are not happy now and one is actively seeking avenues of escape from her husband and screwing around in the process. I don't particularly agree with her methods and I think she, as an adult is responsible for the decisions she made in the absolutely blinding light of day (if you ask me), however, it still should be a wake up call to the dudes in this game that marrying a woman is one thing, having a long lasting happy marriage is quite another.
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Gentleman, it's okay to tell a woman "no". A big problem with guys are that they always say "yes".
Last page I read Manlooking said he's getting in better shape. Did anybody else read that or just the part where he's reducing the food intake of his gal? Whatever deal they have going between them is between them.
The gal may have encountered one too many men who always said "yes" to everything she wants. I dated RW who dumped men like that. Usually those kind of men were young. They felt those men can't think for themselves and make decisions since the answer is always the same. Gal didn't dump Manlooking over the lack of bread. Maybe she's happy she finally found a man who isn't going to kiss her azz all the time.
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Gentleman, it's okay to tell a woman "no". A big problem with guys are that they always say "yes".
Last page I read Manlooking said he's getting in better shape. Did anybody else read that or just the part where he's reducing the food intake of his gal? Whatever deal they have going between them is between them.
The gal may have encountered one too many men who always said "yes" to everything she wants. I dated RW who dumped men like that. Usually those kind of men were young. They felt those men can't think for themselves and make decisions since the answer is always the same. Gal didn't dump Manlooking over the lack of bread. Maybe she's happy she finally found a man who isn't going to kiss her azz all the time.
Billy, you are as simplistic as an on/off switch; it's one extreme or the other for you. Life is far more complex for the rest of normal humanity. :rolleyes2:
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Billy, you are as simplistic as an on/off switch; it's one extreme or the other for you. Life is far more complex for the rest of normal humanity. :rolleyes2:
Ever notice when someone disagrees with you that they are ignorant or an idiot?
Saying "yes" all the time is extreme and I suspect you are one of those predictable type of guys. Wife wants something and she already knows your answer. Predictable.
I'd like to eat chocolate and bacon everyday but if I want to attract women, I need to make some adjustments and control my wants. I do it for the ladies, not myself. If nobody cared, most people would let go of their bodies, hygiene, attitudes, etc... Manlooking cares about his gal's looks so she may get the point of keeping in shape if she cares about pleasing him. As long as he is looking good for her in return, I don't see a problem.
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Ever notice when someone disagrees with you that they are ignorant or an idiot?
Saying "yes" all the time is extreme and I suspect you are one of those predictable type of guys. Wife wants something and she already knows your answer. Predictable.
I'd like to eat chocolate and bacon everyday but if I want to attract women, I need to make some adjustments and control my wants. I do it for the ladies, not myself. If nobody cared, most people would let go of their bodies, hygiene, attitudes, etc... Manlooking cares about his gal's looks so she may get the point of keeping in shape if she cares about pleasing him. As long as he is looking good for her in return, I don't see a problem.
Yet again you prove my point. :rolleyes2:
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I seek to control no one. No one is ever forced to visit my home, eat a non-bread meal in my home, or live in my home.
If anyone seeks bread rather than my company, the door is open.
Yep, that sentence just about says it all. :rolleyes2:
GOB
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Well, clearly the woman knows his rule and has agreed to it.
This is true, for now....... But after some time here (in the GoodOl' USA), she will come to the realization that she married a selfish "control freak".
How you ask?
Her neighbors and friends ( if she is "allowed" to have any :rolleyes2: ) will show her the real skinny on how marriages are supposed to be (mutual respect between 2 human beings) and then:
....they think they are smarter than a man and after you can see them on RW forums... with their sad stories...
GOB
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ML and the lady living with him are not married. He did not do a K-1 for her either. I believe she entered the U.S. as a student, though I may be wrong on that.
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ML and the lady living with him are not married. He did not do a K-1 for her either. I believe she entered the U.S. as a student, though I may be wrong on that.
Oh.... my bad :o .
In that case it makes his behavior twice as bad.
This is certainly NO WAY to treat a guest in your household.
GOB
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Bread is arguably the worst thing for you to eat, JR. Unless you're Jewish, then it's OK. You can then break a loaf or two everyday if you want. But then if you're Jewish, you can't go to the gym. Jewish folks don't work-out as you'll never see one near a gym...
There's a guy who opened up a plush gym in Beverly Hills couple of years ago or so. It went broke after 8 months. No one showed up, LOL.
I go to the gym regularly, one near BH, there are a lot Jews there. Some are in amazingly good shape.
But my point was, stop trying to control her, it's up to her. If she wants bread encourage her to exercise, buy "good" bread, there is such a thing. Getting into arguements over two slices of bread will lead to a lot more than a few lbs either way.
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Oh.... my bad :o .
In that case it makes his behavior twice as bad.
This is certainly NO WAY to treat a guest in your household.
GOB
+10
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ML and the lady living with him are not married. He did not do a K-1 for her either. I believe she entered the U.S. as a student, though I may be wrong on that.
Sorry, but I'm not buying this as particularly "controlling".
I don't allow other dogs, cats or cigarettes in "my house" either. That's MY HOUSE as in the place I live which isn't the same as implying he's running Auschwitz.
Maybe he IS an over-controlling freak but so far I haven't seen a long enough list that would make me think that. I don't read all he writes though, are there any other additions to the list of demands, decrees and arbitrary rules in HIS HOUSE that I have missed. How long is the list?
Wait, OMG, my wife doesn't allow shoes in our house AND she's saying that we CANNOT replace the dog when she passes away, should I start watching her for other evidence of over-control?
Come on guys, I'm not ML's buddy or anything but aren't you reaching a bit on this?
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Billy, you are as simplistic as an on/off switch; it's one extreme or the other for you. Life is far more complex for the rest of normal humanity. :rolleyes2:
Attempting to explain controlling behavior to Billy would be akin to teaching a pig to sing. It's impossible to do and it only annoys the pig :rolleyes2:
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Come on guys, I'm not ML's buddy or anything but aren't you reaching a bit on this?
Nope.
It is just bread, not dogs, not cats and not cigarrettes. I'm surprised that for someone who complains too much about someone else dictating your life, suddenly this is a non-issue.
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Nope.
It is just bread, not dogs, not cats and not cigarrettes. I'm surprised that for someone who complains too much about someone else dictating your life, suddenly this is a non-issue.
+1
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Nope.
It is just bread, not dogs, not cats and not cigarrettes. I'm surprised that for someone who complains too much about someone else dictating your life, suddenly this is a non-issue.
And I'm not really surprised at a comment like that coming from the sort of person who is determined to tell everyone how they have to live their life.
Guess you're going to have to submit your prohibited list for analysis ML.
After careful consideration the jury will come back and let you know whether the list is too long and arbitrary enough to make you officially "controlling".
After that you'll probably need to bring them to a public location to make her declaration that she has a full understanding of your limitations and is a willing participant. She'll be examined for chain marks and assured she can go into protective custody if necessary.
So much for innocent until proven guilty, the witch hunt is in full swing and the peasants will be there with pitchforks, tar and feathers.
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Sorry, Ed, it is selfish and controlling.
A cat or dog is a big responsibility, plus come with potential allergies. They, and cigarettes, affect everyone in the house.
ML has stated he is not giving the woman bread, notwithstanding the fact she has asked for bread, because he doesn't want her to gain weight. Heck, why not have a scale in the kitchen? He can weigh her, and if she has gained 20g, no food for her!
Wouldn't you be humiliated, as an adult, if you wanted a chocolate and your wife forbadeyou from eating a chocolate because it "goes straight to your waistline"? Don't you think that would also demonstrate your wife had zero respect for you?
I agree with GOB, this is not how one treats a guest, particularly a guest one presumably has affection for and is sleeping with.
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Wouldn't you be humiliated, as an adult, if you wanted a chocolate and your wife forbade you from eating a chocolate because it "goes straight to your waistline"? Don't you think that would also demonstrate your wife had zero respect for you?
My fiancee is going to buy our food. I already know she's going to buy much healthier than I have done. I don't think it's about control, she's going to do it because she love and cares about me. She also told me she can't do much with a fat man.
this is not how one treats a guest, particularly a guest one presumably has affection for and is sleeping with.
I haven't read all this thread but if the lady is just a guest, Manlooking should buy her some bread but I suspect they are more than just friends so before marriage people got to feel each other out. Only the woman understands Manlooking and how he's taking care of her. Is she or is she not satisfied? If she is currently sleeping with him, then many of you are bothered by the bread situation than she.
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I go to the gym regularly, one near BH, there are a lot Jews there. Some are in amazingly good shape.
I was being facetious, JR. You know...Last supper, breaking bread, Jews, not good for your health...
As for gyms, the majority of these facilities are owned and ran by Jewish old monies...just like everything else in Hollywood. Just ask Mel :P Matter of fact, join a 1-year membership in any of these gyms, they'll give you a choice of discounted coupons from either Canter's, Langer's or Brent's....the best kosher delis in town. Notwitstanding Jerry's....
But my point was, stop trying to control her, it's up to her. If she wants bread encourage her to exercise, buy "good" bread, there is such a thing. Getting into arguements over two slices of bread will lead to a lot more than a few lbs either way.
True. But I'd rather give the lady credit that if she isn't accomodating to ML's standard, nothing really should be stopping her. The fact she hasn't, suggests to me they're the ol birds of feathers...
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One of the distinctive features of people with controlling behavior is they deny authenticity of other people. They try to impose their standards on a partner and mold the partner into their ideal image. When they say they love in reality they love not a real person but a perfect image in their own mind. They usually don't give a choice, or if they give a choice it is equal to "do what I say or you are free to leave and do what you want but without me... not in my place" and so on.
A perfect partner for the controllers would be a person with a lack of self-control, for example if a person can not control their eating habits a partner-controller can do it perfectly for them, a person with a lack of self-confidence and a lack of self-esteem, when he/she needs to seek an approval, for example comparing, her/himself with other people and feeling better if there is someone who looks worse ...
A controlling behavior also may display itself in a negative comments with direct and indirect insults, for example in such comments as "only idiots can do such thing... or can say such thing". When one of my girlfriend shared with me a correspondence with an AM there was a line in his letter that gave us a red flag, instead of saying "I'm sorry I think you misunderstood..." or something like that he just put her down with his remark on her English, maybe he did it unintentionally, but devil is in the details... that are often overlooked
Actually, to each his own and for every controller there is a person who would like to be controlled.
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My fiancee is going to buy our food. I already know she's going to buy much healthier than I have done. I don't think it's about control, she's going to do it because she love and cares about me. She also told me she can't do much with a fat man.
Most Ukrainians eat bread daily. Have a look on the streets of any Ukrainian city for the evidence of bread consumption on body weights.
I haven't read all this thread but if the lady is just a guest, Manlooking should buy her some bread but I suspect they are more than just friends so before marriage people got to feel each other out. Only the woman understands Manlooking and how he's taking care of her. Is she or is she not satisfied? If she is currently sleeping with him, then many of you are bothered by the bread situation than she.
If she had her own income (enough to live on in the U.S.) and a green card, you'd have a point. She is dependent on him and has asked him to buy her bread.
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She is dependent on him and has asked him to buy her bread.
IIRC, she had enough money to buy a new car once she arrived. I doubt she is dependent on him to buy bread if this is the case.
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I didn't mean financially.
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Wow, who would have thought I would end up on the same side of an issue as ML and Billy?
Actually, to each his own and for every controller there is a person who would like to be controlled.
Most of what you wrote I actually agreed with Olga, particularly that last sentence.
I'd add, "...or is in close enough agreement with their lifestyle that they anticipate that there would be no problem."
The woman doesn't seem to be in physical or economic forced servitude. No one is offering up any snippets indicating she's being "dominated" mentally or emotionally. If she doesn't like a home with rationed bread consumption (she does get a couple of slices a day it seems), she'll either leave or risk being thrown out for sneaking in a crust of wheat roll or an unauthorized BLT off-schedule.
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Is breaking bread grounds for divorce?
Just wonderin'. Boethius?
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Strange funny thread...
I suppose if she ever gets the pangs to sink her teeth on a warm, delicious, freshly baked loaf of bread, ML can compromise and instead get her one of these (http://www.airq.com/store/fragrances/bread)...
Off to the gym in your white shorts lovey... :P
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I didn't mean financially.
The gal can drive to the store alone to get her fix of bread if she needs. Last week we talked about spanking and many of you thought it had devastating and long lasting effects on society. Now we're talking about a guy limiting bread intake which is controlling and can cause a lifetime of psychological damage a helpless woman who on her own free will sleeps with the guy in question. Should we create laws to prevent the behavior Manlooking has exhibited? Relax. There are people starving in war torn zones in the world. It seems many focus too much energy on nothing.
I read some more of this thread and Manlooking said she is stocking up the refrigerator and cupboards with food. No mention of resistance on his part. He takes her to Niagara Falls and a 5 star hotel. He helps her with her homework. He and Gal walk often together and exercise together. He helped her open up her own bank account and trying to get her an American driver's license.
It seems she's free to come and go as she wishes and Manlooking is helping her more than some men help their own wives. In the end she may not want to marry him. Manlooking himself is not at the moment proposing marriage. They may live together for 2 or more years and never marry. They may walk away as friends and still appreciate their time together in that brief moment in their lives. Limiting bread in the house will not be the end of the world. I don't see a doomsday scenario here so let us go back to rescuing children who get spanked!
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The gal can drive to the store alone to get her fix of bread if she needs. Last week we talked about spanking and many of you thought it had devastating and long lasting effects on society. Now we're talking about a guy limiting bread intake which is controlling and can cause a lifetime of psychological damage a helpless woman who on her own free will sleeps with the guy in question. Should we create laws to prevent the behavior Manlooking has exhibited? Relax. There are people starving in war torn zones in the world. It seems many focus too much energy on nothing.
That's an assumption... we have not been presented with video evidence!
I read some more of this thread and Manlooking said she is stocking up the refrigerator and cupboards with food. No mention of resistance on his part. He takes her to Niagara Falls and a 5 star hotel. He helps her with her homework. He and Gal walk often together and exercise together. He helped her open up her own bank account and trying to get her an American driver's license.
the scoundrel!!
It seems she's free to come and go as she wishes and Manlooking is helping her more than some men help their own wives. In the end she may not want to marry him. Manlooking himself is not at the moment proposing marriage. They may live together for 2 or more years and never marry. They may walk away as friends and still appreciate their time together in that brief moment in their lives. Limiting bread in the house will not be the end of the world. I don't see a doomsday scenario here so let us go back to rescuing children who get spanked!
I say we hide slices of bread and vid cams all around the house and yard... so it turns up in the strangest places.. they'll blame each other and the Yeast Wars will begin.. all captured on video for the new hit reality show "Gimmedagoddambread!"
I dunno gang... I just can't seem to take this one seriously.
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...I read some more of this thread and Manlooking said she is stocking up the refrigerator and cupboards with food. No mention of resistance on his part. He takes her to Niagara Falls and a 5 star hotel. He helps her with her homework. He and Gal walk often together and exercise together. He helped her open up her own bank account and trying to get her an American driver's license.....
Oh the dire sacrifices men make just to get laid. Spank me, ML. :P
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Oh the dire sacrifices men make just to get laid. Spank me, ML. :P
Spank?
Spanking is an abomination you monster! I bet you're a controlling SOB as well!
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Is breaking bread grounds for divorce?
Just wonderin'. Boethius?
Sure. If one is married.
You guys don't get it. It is about the attitude and yes, it is control, in addition to lack of respect, lack of consideration, and lack of manners. The response was not far removed from another I once read "If it doesn't work out after a few years, I can just ship her back."
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Sure. If one is married.
You guys don't get it.
I get it.
I didn't think a smilie was really necessary for my post. ;)
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Spank?
Spanking is an abomination you monster! I bet you're a controlling SOB as well!
Moi?!? No, but coach was...he used to say.."this is my gym and in my gym only my rules apply". Like silly ML, he always made sure we skimmed bread out of our daily diet, if not shun altogether. Something about slowing us down during the season. sez he doesn't care what we do during the off-season, but during the season - his rule!
In Cali, we have a burger joint called In-N-Out Burger, and there was a time they had an item on their menu called Protein Splash. Your usual burger concoction, grease and all, but without the buns. They just add a leaf or two of lettuce to help wrap that greased lump together. It's supposed to be 'better' for you, LOL.
Yah know, I was thinking, if you quickly thought of any cultural cuisine, think of any restaurant that doesn't serve you 'bread' before the meal, then consider the build of the general population of that culture...
But anyway, I digress, that was all back then and this is now. These days, my doctor is really the only one that tries to control me.
'You need to lay off red meat!' he says...is he nuts?!? Give up prime rib? I'd rather give up bread, man.
dunno. I just wondered if these two had a conversation, turned to an agreed to plan, that once she got here they'll work out together and try to follow a nutritional diet plan. Like what my silly coach did before...who knows.
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dunno. I just wondered if these two had a conversation, turned to an agreed to plan, that once she got here they'll work out together and try to follow a nutritional diet plan. Like what my silly coach did before...who knows.
GOB is more curious as to how the dildos "fit" into the big picture. :rolleyes2:
GOB
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Is breaking bread grounds for divorce?
Just wonderin'. Boethius?
Sure. If one is married.
You guys don't get it. It is about the attitude and yes, it is control, in addition to lack of respect, lack of consideration, and lack of manners. The response was not far removed from another I once read "If it doesn't work out after a few years, I can just ship her back."
Boethius, no spouse or bg/gf should live in fear if their significant other threatens a breakup up over bread. Does your husband live with this fear and he always say "yes dear"?
You mention control. Guess what happens to relationships when one member is out of control and without displine? ML can't live with a big woman so his woman needs to be in control of her weight or their physical relationship will suffer. ML is also willing to take action to control his weight too. Sounds like a good plan for both parties and all they give up are some tasty calories.
You mention respect and consideration. Respect and consideration need to be run both ways. Gal can't be an individual in this relationship. There's no "I" in "Team". ML has a need that requires her to limit her intake of bread. It's her choice to respect and consider his request or hurt their relationship. In times like this, a man will understand how much he's worth to his woman. Bread has a history of being the defining factor in whether or not relationships make it or break it. ;)
You mention attitude. How can you factor in ML's attitude pertaining to one issue, bread, and define him? Ridiculous. You can't ignore his attitude for the other things he's done for Gal. Many guys have dealt with women that think like you. They spend years doing good things for their woman building something meaningul but with one incident or misunderstanding, the woman throws it all away only to pursue a guy that will do everything her way. Those ladies are in luck. There are guys that are afraid to say "no". There's help. Look at magazine in the photo below.
Boethius, has your husband ever told you "no". If so, what did he say you can't have? Did you feel bitter about your desires getting refused? When my fiancee gets here, I'm going to get refused a lot of tasty junk foods. I don't interpret her attitude as being bad and controlling but good and caring. Some people see the glass half empty and are upset. Others see the glass half full and are happy.
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dunno. I just wondered if these two had a conversation, turned to an agreed to plan, that once she got here they'll work out together and try to follow a nutritional diet plan. Like what my silly coach did before...who knows.
Maybe they had :D
She has adapted pretty well to keeping bread out of the house.
Bread continues to be a little bit of a problem. Gal is keeping stoic about it, but could blow up any day.
I recently bought a loaf (12 grain most healthy type) strictly so we could have BLTs (love those babies, and Gal is hooked on them now too). I took out 4 slices and then started putting the remainder, four slices at a time in freezer bags for later BLTs, one week at a time. I had to wrestle a couple of slices away from Gal as she wanted to keep them out . . . for later in day.
We laughed a little over this struggle, but I knew she was a little serious about it.
And the below probably just a Freudian slip ;D
She is free to do that anytime she wants . . . in her own apartment or house.
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I get it.
I didn't think a smilie was really necessary for my post. ;)
Wasn't referring to you, C-Man. ;)
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Billy, I refer to Ade and FP's posts directed to you in the past 24 hours.
You will never be even half the man my husband is. And with over 25 years of married life, I certainly need no lessons on marriage or relationships from a man who is divorced and marrying a girl 4 years older than his son.
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Guess what happens to relationships when one member is out of control and without displine?
Least of all I need in my life a partner who I need to control and discipline and least of all I need a partner who would control and discipline me :D Why I would need a partner whose personality and life style I can not accept? Why I have to spend my short life trying to change him especially using force, control and discipline? :-\ :D
Yes, I agree a healthy relationship is based on mutual respect... mutual respect for each other's individuality and authenticity and mutual accepting each other...
But people, of course, have different ideas of a healthy relationship... as for example a controller and his/her voluntarily submissive partner would have their own idea.
Respect and consideration need to be run both ways. Gal can't be an individual in this relationship. There's no "I" in "Team". ML has a need that requires her to limit her intake of bread. It's her choice to respect and consider his request or hurt their relationship. In times like this, a man will understand how much he's worth to his woman. Bread has a history of being the defining factor in whether or not relationships make it or break it.
I don't see any "both ways" in your post... How about his choice to respect and consider a gal's wish? To show her how much she's worth to him without bread and with bread ;D
If a bread is a relationship beaker... there is just no any relationship at all but an illusion.
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As much as I hate to disappoint . . . . .
I didn't see Gal this morning when she left for school. I was sleeping in after a long night of consulting work on the computer.
So when she returned late afternoon, I was stunned at how well she looked in Jeans and Pink sweater.
I said: "WOW, what a beautiful girl. And great ass and legs."
She replied: "I have you to thank for my ass and legs."
"How so," I asked.
"Our exercise programs and no bread," she replied with a smile.
And then she grabbed my . . . .
Oh, but many of you would be shocked at that, so I won't tell.
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When my fiancee gets here, I'm going to get refused a lot of tasty junk foods.
Billy, you even can not control you own eating habit, you wait for someone to fix it :D
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As much as I hate to disappoint . . . . .
I didn't see Gal this morning when she left for school. I was sleeping in after a long night of consulting work on the computer.
So when she returned late afternoon, I was stunned at how well she looked in Jeans and Pink sweater.
I said: "WOW, what a beautiful girl. And great ass and legs."
She replied: "I have you to thank for my ass and legs."
"How so," I asked.
"Our exercise programs and no bread," she replied with a smile.
And then she grabbed my . . . .
Oh, but many of you would be shocked at that, so I won't tell.
Sure. If one is married.
You guys don't get it. It is about the attitude and yes, it is control, in addition to lack of respect, lack of consideration, and lack of manners. The response was not far removed from another I once read "If it doesn't work out after a few years, I can just ship her back."
...grabbed my belt and began spanking me!
You guys don't get it. It is about the attitude and yes, it is control, in addition to lack of respect, lack of consideration, and lack of manners. The response was not far removed from another I once read "If it doesn't work out after a few years, I can just ship her back."
I agree completely that "you guys don't get it."
I notice that, very conveniently, you didn't mention the shoes rules. My mother was insulted, humiliated even. It might have had something o do with her spitting on my wife. grabbing a steak knife and telling announcing she was going to kill that bitch. My father regards it as complete silliness and insists that he'll wear his shoes anywhere he wishes in his part of the house.
I have had people tell me to my face that they were insulted that I imply their home isn't clean if I don't visit a house with a cat.
Others tell me how stupid it is when I cannot breathe properly in their home due to the smoke which has soaked into the paint of the walls, the carpet and the drapes.
One person in life has told me not to bring a gun into their home, then been offended when I don't visit. Oddly, they come into my home and never have a word to say about the gun rack or the holstered weapon on my hip.
I know a couple who breast-fed their 5 year old publicly (maybe they did into his teens) and are confrontational if anyone even raises an eyebrow.
There are other similar "rules" in people's homes and lives which run the gamut of political, philosophical, sanitation, health, diet, the list is practically endless. How many of these couples do you consider to be in a "controlling/controlled" relationship based on your one-shot picture of their life?
No one has made anything remotely like a convincing presentation that ML is "controlling".
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Billy, I refer to Ade and FP's posts directed to you in the past 24 hours.
You will never be even half the man my husband is. And with over 25 years of married life, I certainly need no lessons on marriage or relationships from a man who is divorced and marrying a girl 4 years older than his son.
Ever notice when people run out of substance to debate with, they go on attack? Plan A of having a civil debate didn't work so strike package B kicked in. Save your above post because you're going to have to use it a lot on me and other divorcees. Your post has nothing to do with what is discussed and being 25 years married doesn't make you right on every subject. I can always find a person who's married longer that will disagree with you.
I'm sure your husband has told you "no" in the past. That is why I asked. After my questions, you just realize you can't call ML a control freak without calling your husband the same.
Least of all I need in my life a partner who I need to control and discipline and least of all I need a partner who would control and discipline me :D Why I would need a partner whose personality and life style I can not accept? Why I have to spend my short life trying to change him especially using force, control and discipline? :-\ :D
Yes, I agree a healthy relationship is based on mutual respect... mutual respect for each other's individuality and authenticity and mutual accepting each other...
I've said in the past a woman should marry a man she respects learn from. That means she agrees with him on most issues and believe he's smarter. She will more likely than not accept her man's decision if he's allowed to make one. A man can marry a stupid woman and the marriage can still be a success but a woman should never marry a man dumber than her. It's destined to fail. ML and Gal are not at the point of getting married so currently they will feel each other out. They will decide what they can or can't accept in each other.
There are different personalities and characters among people. I'm sure most women want a man who is dominant and a leader. A man who is a somebody. Most women would prefer a man who is a CEO or general over a man who is a janitor or lowly private. If a woman finds a man who is successful and/or a leader, one of the worst things she can do is cut his balls off everyday when he comes home. He has a different mentality and he needs to be handled differently. A woman can be a big part of her man's success or bring him down. I don't know what kind of man ML is but if his Gal admires him for many of his qualities, she should submit to ML's simple request to limit her bread intake for the benefit of a better relationship.
And then she grabbed my . . . .
For us dummies, can you clarify what she grabbed? I'm taking notes. I now understand Daveman about the importance of video evidence. It's for educational purposes.
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Ed, if your mother was insulted by the shoe rule, IMHO, your wife should have changed it for your mother. Your mother is your mother, and deserves respect as such, from both you and your wife. Your mother should be immune from any house rules that are not injurious of the home (i.e. cause physical damage, rather than inconvenience), or injurious to her.
Yes Billy, you posted an attack and received the only response you deserve. You're all theory, and you have chosen an inexperienced virgin teen, rather than a woman, for fairly obvious reasons.
Unlike your potential bride, I am not a child. I married an equal. My husband has never said "no" to me because he respects me as an individual. Similarly, I have never said no to him. Our thinking has always been in building a family life together. We love and respect each other, and we view one another as equals. We have never argued, except about how to discipline our children, and we compromised on that.
My husband has never eaten junk food. He is a vegetarian teetotaler. He doesn't even eat fish or eggs. He respects my choice not to choose vegetarianism. His "my body is my temple" attitude is a good natured joke among my siblings.
Until the kids were young, we never had candy or any junk food in our home. Even now, we don't have much of it, as the kids don't need it. But, they're teens, and they need to be like those around them. We rarely have alcohol in our home, other than keeping a few bottles of wine and a half dozen beer for guests who may pop in. My husband's only vices are very fine teas, which I order for him from India, and fishing.
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Ever notice when people run out of substance to debate with, they go on attack?
Dude, have you any idea how impossible it is to actually debate anything with you? You are Mr Strawman incarnate and if your comprehension skills are really as awful as you show in your threads (rather than just plain trolling), I am not surprised in the slightest that you think Mother-of-A is giving you sex tips to use on her teen daughter (when she is in all likelihood asking you if you want parsley as a garnish).
I call the need to debate you the rubber wall syndrome and it really is like bouncing your head off of a solid rubber wall time and again. Even this post is entirely pointless.
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Ed, if your mother was insulted by the shoe rule, IMHO, your wife should have changed it for your mother. Your mother is your mother, and deserves respect as such, from both you and your wife. Your mother should be immune from any house rules that are not injurious of the home (i.e. cause physical damage, rather than inconvenience), or injurious to her.
Hmmm, that would be despite the fact that before we even set foot on the North American continent we had discussed that rule would be a deal-breaker on moving back? Easy to see why you think Americans should just re-write their Constitution whenever the mood hits any citizen.....
I know, I know....we're "controlling" and unreasonable to have clearly presented important things for our home-life and future to the others who asked us to join in with them.
Well, guess that settles it then. Makes no difference if you explicitly agree to accept someone's eccentricities only to be able to label them as mentally disturbed when you determine you can't live with your commitment.
ML, you're a controlling SOB.
I'm a controlling SOB.
FSUW (and those Japanese women too) are controlling "B-----s" about the shoe thing.
As for anyone who insists on something like a light and airy minimalist style for their home, well they're unreasonable and, of course, "controlling" if their potential partner wants mahogany and blackout drapes.
Anyone who has any "rule" about their life that covers anyone else is a controlling B---h or B-----d.
All this discussion and it was that simple once someone who knew better than everyone else set us all straight.
Good to know.
This probably means that whole "under duress" thing is now replaced by "change your mind whenever you feel like it, you can just blame it on the other guy's mental quirks" test.
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Imposing your will on others over something as insignificant as bread in the house, or wearing shoes, or having the odd candy bar is wrong. These are all insignificant in the grand scheme of life.
I have the same no shoes rule in my house. It's really for me, and the kids. My husband breaks it from time to time, something he didn't do in the FSU. I gently remind him we don't wear shoes in the house, but I don't make a federal case out of it. My parents break it, which is unusual, as I grew up with that rule, but, I say nothing, out of respect for them as my parents. If my MIL had broken it, I would not have said a thing either, as I respect her as the mother of my husband, and she raised a fabulous son for me.
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Ed, if your mother was insulted by the shoe rule, IMHO, your wife should have changed it for your mother. Your mother is your mother, and deserves respect as such, from both you and your wife. Your mother should be immune from any house rules that are not injurious of the home (i.e. cause physical damage, rather than inconvenience), or injurious to her.
Wow. You criticize people for being controlling, but you sure like to dictate how others should live their lives.
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I'm not telling other people how to live their lives. I said it was my opinion. Nothing more, nothing less. Take it or leave it, I don't care, and it will not affect how I approach my daily life. (And BTW, that post was in response to a question from Ed.)
Ed, ML, Billy, and anyone else is not going to change his/her views, approaches, or how they live, based on what I, or anyone else, posts, nor would I expect them to.
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We have never argued, except about how to discipline our children, and we compromised on that.
Arguing over disciplining children means your husband disagrees with you essentually telling you "no" to your prefered way of disciplining children. You two compromised and seems like ML and Gal compromised on bread if you had the patience to let ML finish his story. Some of you like to prematurely write the story of somebody's life without letting them finsih it. Why is ML controlling and your husband not? Why is divorcing over bread acceptable and divorcing over how to raise a child not?
Anyway, me and me teen virgin have never argued so if you need some relationship advice, I'd be happy to administer some tips. First tip is to marry a person who have similiar beliefs pertaining to major issues such as child rearing so there won't be conflicts that could lead to divorce. Not all conflicts end with compromise so compromise before marriage.
I gently remind him we don't wear shoes in the house,
A clear example of you telling your husband "no". No big deal since YOU are the one saying "no" but when a man says "no" it's all about control.
Dude, have you any idea how impossible it is to actually debate anything with you?
I'd rather have my ignorance over your knowledge because I have so much of it. :tongueout:
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Oh, and PS, Ed - I have no idea what you are referring to re the Constitution, as I don't recall ever commenting on the need for US Constitutional amendments - not something I have followed, so I have no opinion.
Arguing over disciplining children means your husband disagrees with you essentually telling you "no" to your prefered way of disciplining children
Nope. Not the way it happened.
I need no relationship advice from someone who spent all of two weeks in a "relationship" and at that, the "relationship" was chaperoned by Mommy.
Come back to me when your teen hits 30.
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This thread and the many posters are an example of the entertainment value of RWD. :D
I am not sure that ML's behavior can be classified as controlling. All I can say - it is not the way I would treat a woman.
Maybe ML's "gal" asked for him to help her lose weight and this is his response. If so, that would not be controlling. But we do not know the agreement betweeen the two. IMO, a dietician would stress the value of whole grain bread and it would be better to eat more bread than a BLT, especially knowing the Russian heavy use of майонез.
Note to ML: I can tell you like this woman, and I sincerely wish thst the relationship gives what you and she seek. If it advances to the level of true love, you will discover that you will still love her even if her Size 6 grows to a Size 8. Qualities that were initially perceived as not ideal have a way of becoming " fine enough."
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This thread and the many posters are an example of the entertainment value of RWD. :D
I am not sure that ML's behavior can be classified as controlling. All I can say - it is not the way I would treat a woman.
Maybe ML's "gal" asked for him to help her lose weight and this is his response. If so, that would not be controlling. But we do not know the agreement betweeen the two. IMO, a dietician would stress the value of whole grain bread and it would be better to eat more bread than a BLT, especially knowing the Russian heavy use of майонез.
Note to ML: I can tell you like this woman, and I sincerely wish thst the relationship gives what you and she seek. If it advances to the level of true love, you will discover that you will still love her even if her Size 6 grows to a Size 8. Qualities that were initially perceived as not ideal have a way of becoming " fine enough."
Okay, thats the optimist view, now give us the pessimist's or can you?
:ROFL:
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OK, I confess that you finally outed me. I made a careless slip and let the cat out of the bag with my bread comments. Several of you heard Dr. Pavlov calling and gave the expected response.
However, I must also share with you my frustration with my seeming inability to get this ‘Control’ thingy to work right.
I love to control people and women especially, so I looked for simple ways to achieve my goal. When I started a relationship with an oriental woman I thought: This is going to be easy. As soon as I got her to move in with me, I really lowered the boom. No more use of chopsticks, whether in the house or elsewhere. I really had her there and would show her who was the boss. To my disappointment she said: “Fine with me. I was getting tired of picking the splinters out of my lips and this western flatware makes a lot more sense anyway.” Well this just wasn’t going to work for me because where could I get my control rush as controller if the controllee didn’t really mind giving up the object? So I cut that relationship off fairly quickly and looked for another victim.
First up; an Irish Gal. I romanced her properly and seduced her to moving into my home. I gave it a little time; but then one day . . . BAM . . . No more drinking beer. I was almost dizzy with anticipation as I waited for the fireworks to begin so that I could lay down the law in more firm fashion and get her to bend to my will as controller. But can you believe this bietch? She said: “OK, thank heavens; you finally gave me the excuse I was looking for to give up that crap.” I can’t tell you how deflated I was, but to cut my pain off . . . out the door with her.
I had to do a lot of research to try to find a foolproof controlling scheme. I was ecstatic when I found out about this bread phobia with FSU women. I decided to do several tests first with more casual acquaintances before the full implementation. And the tests worked as predicted. Whenever I would tell the Gal that we should skip bread at the restaurant or where ever, they gave me this wild eyed look like I had just suggested she get under the table and perform oral sex. Several of them just got up and walked out while others completed the breadless meal but never returned my calls or texts again. So I knew I was really on to something at last.
But alas, you can probably sense my continued frustration when my Gal has now admitted that she likes the result of our almost breadless existence.
Anyone have suggestions on a more sure-fire control feature that the Gal will not co-opt?
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Heh...
...
Anyone have suggestions on a more sure-fire control feature that the Gal will not co-opt?
Time maybe for a little reverse psychology, ML...
Shoes only allowed INSIDE the house, never outside!
Underwear must be worn only on top of other clothes...
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Nope. Not the way it happened.
Why should we believe you when you are so sure about other people's relationships? Since you like to write other people's story, let me write yours....
Your husband is either stupid or knows what he's doing when he wears shoes in his house. I believe after 25 years and hundreds of "gentle" warnings not to wear shoes, he does understand your policy but he doesn't respect you on purpose. He stopped caring. Only if he knew the secret of bread and how it gets under your skin would it be more effective than using the shoes.
There are times you caught him discipling the kids alone so instead of showing unified support for your man you threw your two cents in effectively undermining his authority as father but the importance of your kids growing up violent or not is in your hands because husbands are not qualified to discipline kids alone. You argue with him in front of the kids to the point where your husband throws up his hands and says "That's it! You deal with it!!!" and then walks out of the room. You proceed to disipline the kids and the kids are relieved mommy saved them again.
You then come to the forum to announce your perfect marriage and how wonderful your husband is since he compromises with you on these issues. Truth is he's forced to compromise and does rebellous acts such as wearing shoes in the house on the days it's your turn to clean. He listens to you half the time while I listen to you none and that is the reason he's twice the man as I.
Am I right or am I right? No applause please. Just throw money.
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"Rebellious acts" are for children. Perhaps you pulled such passive aggressive stunts and the result was the mother of your child dumped you. Or perhaps you are anticipating "rebellion" from your child bride.
My husband is a man, not a child. No, he just carries groceries, and, since he loves the comfort of cowboy boots, doesn't want to put the groceries down to remove them, then put them on again when he hauls more bags of groceries to the kitchen.
Nobody is perfect, but when I read your posts, I bend down on my knees and thank God for giving me the man I married.
I do all the housecleaning, and as we all enter our house through a garage, our shoes are not dirty, I just don't like the idea of shoes you wear on the streets being worn in the house, so there's another of your "theories" down the drain.
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During the few months my wife arrived, she got fairly settled to the point when she wakes up and gets ready for school in the morning, she would start singing. Gosh, I love my wife, but her singing is pretty horrific (yeah, sue me). Dreadfully void of any tone color, or is it timbre? My cats would immediately scram from the room and howl as soon as she attempts to toss her unleash first high note.
Well, since I'm a controlling kind'a guy (like ML), I shared with her a joke gullible controlling American men know all to well...I asked her what she did with the money.
My wife stopped punishing us singing for a few seconds, looked at me inquisively, and asked..."What money?" So, I said the money her parents gave her for singing lessons. Well, apparently it was the first time she had heard of this 'controlling' method, she bursted laughing and thought it was the most effective controlling method she ever heard.
That pain stopped.........at least for that morning.
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During the few months my wife arrived, she got fairly settled to the point when she wakes up and gets ready for school in the morning, she would start singing. Gosh, I love my wife, but her singing is pretty horrific (yeah, sue me). Dreadfully void of any tone color, or is it timbre? My cats would immediately scram from the room and howl as soon as she attempts to toss her unleash first high note.
Well, since I'm a controlling kind'a guy (like ML), I shared with her a joke gullible controlling American men know all to well...I asked her what she did with the money.
My wife stopped punishing us singing for a few seconds, looked at me inquisively, and asked..."What money?" So, I said the money her parents gave her for singing lessons. Well, apparently it was the first time she had heard of this 'controlling' method, she bursted laughing and thought it was the most effective controlling method she ever heard.
That pain stopped.........at least for that morning.
Sounds like you're mentally abusing her through humiliation, don't be surprised if the police show up to question you about this matter.
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I'd rather have my ignorance
Apparently.
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Ok folks, can we all get this thread back to our regularly scheduled broadcast instead of using it as an opportunity to insult your least favorite forum members? :deadhorse: :rules: :cluebat: :wallbash: :offtopic:
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Ok folks, can we all get this thread back to our regularly scheduled broadcast instead of using it as an opportunity to insult your least favorite forum members? :deadhorse: :rules: :cluebat: :wallbash: :offtopic:
I agree wholeheartedly.
Some people repeatedly prove they are unable to discuss a situation and their only resort is to attack an individual member at the personal level.
Since it screws up the thread and topic it is a pain. My vote is that the mods be more aggressive in splitting off threads that diverge so drastically.
Perhaps one of the mods should step in and switch it over to the Anything Goes thread?
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Why do you bother? :rolleyes2:
I don't really know (sigh) :-[
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I agree wholeheartedly.
Some people repeatedly prove they are unable to discuss a situation and their only resort is to attack an individual member at the personal level.
Since it screws up the thread and topic it is a pain. My vote is that the mods be more aggressive in splitting off threads that diverge so drastically.
Perhaps one of the mods should step in and switch it over to the Anything Goes thread?
:ROFL: Interesting! The mods vote that the members would be more aggressive in maintaining the topic integrity and curtailing personal attacks PRIOR to drastic divergence, or Godwin's Reductio ad Hitlerum, or even simply pausing for juuuuuuust a few seconds of actual thought process prior to clicking that "Post" button. >:D
:popcorn:
practicing what I preach...
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:ROFL: Interesting! The mods vote that the members would be more aggressive in maintaining the topic integrity and curtailing personal attacks PRIOR to drastic divergence, or Godwin's Reductio ad Hitlerum, or even simply pausing for juuuuuuust a few seconds of actual thought process prior to clicking that "Post" button. >:D
:popcorn:
practicing what I preach...
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Sure we'll try it (again) and see what happens.
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Underwear must be worn only on top of other clothes...
Superman - manly man? :-\ ;D
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I'm a little confused so please help me out.....
Is this thread supposed to be about a TR to Kharkiv or by some magic is the discussion of controlling WM allowed and then can it be general or should it be in the context of attacking ML's alleged controlling behavior?
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:popcorn:
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I'm a little confused so please help me out.....
Is this thread supposed to be about a TR to Kharkiv or by some magic is the discussion of controlling WM allowed and then can it be general or should it be in the context of attacking ML's alleged controlling behavior?
After the forum upgrade is completed, the gun talk can be split off..
And getting back on topic...
When a Russian woman is involved... Bread control sans Gun control is probably a recipe for Funeral Control...
I mean, would any of you attempt to take bread away from the RW in Ed's house??? >:D Not me, I'll bring an extra loaf or two along when I visit! ;D
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Nobody is perfect, but when I read your posts, I bend down on my knees and thank God for giving me the man I married.
I feel the same.
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OK, so the TR IS a CONTROLLING WM/ML thread now.....
As a reminder, MY wife has all the artisan pumpernickel she wants.
For her it's the shoes and cleanliness in the home that could result in an escalating confrontation.
So, is it the concensus that having rules you live your life by constitute "control" issues that indicate the potential spouse should avoid the relationship?
If one refuses to own a Chevrolet the other should run?
How about requiring fish on Fridays (without a religious context)?
Above but WITH a religious context?
If one refuses to live in large cities, is this a control mechanism?
What about someone who ONLY will live near the ocean?
What if they recently bought a $250,000 motor-home and insist that ALL vacations must include the RV?
And, to be clear, if a fiance agrees to this initially, marries the person, gets their green card/citizenship and then decides she cannot take it, it's all A-okay to just write it off as the ugly spouse being controlling?
Just being sure I understand the ground rules that some folks are espousing here.....
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OK, so the TR IS a CONTROLLING WM/ML thread now.....
Not necessarily. The TR is ongoing I guess, and ML did open the door for discussion about the bread situation. Whether it should be morphed in being all about ML's Psychologically Induced Bread Control Dysfunction appears to be up for debate....
As a reminder, MY wife has all the artisan pumpernickel she wants.
For her it's the shoes and cleanliness in the home that could result in an escalating confrontation.
So, is it the concensus that having rules you live your life by constitute "control" issues that indicate the potential spouse should avoid the relationship?
If one refuses to own a Chevrolet the other should run?
How about requiring fish on Fridays (without a religious context)?
Above but WITH a religious context?
If one refuses to live in large cities, is this a control mechanism?
What about someone who ONLY will live near the ocean?
What if they recently bought a $250,000 motor-home and insist that ALL vacations must include the RV?
And, to be clear, if a fiance agrees to this initially, marries the person, gets their green card/citizenship and then decides she cannot take it, it's all A-okay to just write it off as the ugly spouse being controlling?
Just being sure I understand the ground rules that some folks are espousing here.....
Here's my take on it... simply this...
Ultimatums rarely, if ever, have the desired long term benefit in any relationship. They're short term 'fixes' which, if used regularly, invariably breed contempt. This has to be one of the most absurd ultimata, as presented here, that I have witnessed in recent years. In fact, it is so ridiculous that I still cannot take it seriously - "sure, eat bread if you want, but in your OWN damn apartment! You ain't gonna be doing it here!" The thought really cracks me up.
Seems to me that the scenario is about maintaining physical attractiveness as opposed to Evil Hordes of Processed Grain.
I think a more reasonable analogy would be how the woman would feel if the man decided to grow his hair long and wear a shaggy beard -- I can't imagine an FSUW whom I have encountered not immediately entering into "control and change your partner's appearance" mode.
I seriously doubt any would tell him "grow your hair in your OWN place", but hey, ya never know...
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I think ML is more on a health/weight regimen than a dictatorial effort to make her more attractive.
So, what if the guy boldly declares that he MUST have facial hair? Controlling or not?
What if she declares she can NEVER love a man who would grow facial hair? Controlling or not?
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I'm going to take a stab at it for shitz and giggles :D
I think ML is more on a health/weight regimen than a dictatorial effort to make her more attractive.
The motivation isn't really material here IMHO. Whether it is for her to keep the shape that sexually arouses him or whether it is strictly for her health. He is demanding that she conform to his wishes where it doesn't affect him physically or his health. Bread, beer or Russian roulette really makes no difference, does it? Insisting she bend to his will on this trivial matter (which may not be trivial to her) is controlling behavior and "could" easily reflect or extend to other deeper psychological issues. Not stating that it does in this instance only that such requests is controlling behavior.
So, what if the guy boldly declares that he MUST have facial hair? Controlling or not?
Not controlling. It is a personal decision such as desiring to eat bread
What if she declares she can NEVER love a man who would grow facial hair? Controlling or not?
Controlling without question.
IMHO, when one enters into a relationship with anyone else, romantic or not (many controlling relationships are not romantic) insisting someone do or not do, eat, act or anything else is controlling behavior. It's not a just made up PC term. It's a behavior as early as men walked the earth.
Some of it is harmless, some of it isn't
edit to add:
In a relationship of a romantic nature, to each their own but, to love someone is to accept who they are, their quips, quirks, mannerisms ect.. For anyone who thinks they can change another, good luck with that. You may find a degree of early success but don't bet on it in the long run
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FP:
First, it really throws me that this topic has any legs.
That aside, do you even remotely consider the possibility that the woman doesn't give a damn about the bread ration? At all?
The guy only allows 12 grain bread in his house and follows a regimen of limited consumption. The gal is "stoic", seems to miss it but not enough to make an issue of it. THIS constitutes controlling behavior?
I see/hear an eccentric who has fund someone who is hanging around, living in his home and has the means to come and go, leave permanently and is apparently in a consensual relationship. No outcry for help. No different than any other relationship.
Because, really, that's all anyone seems to have shown here. No leg chains, no economic coercion, no browbeating, just assumptions and baseless innuendo.
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I think ML is more on a health/weight regimen than a dictatorial effort to make her more attractive.
So, what if the guy boldly declares that he MUST have facial hair? Controlling or not?
What if she declares she can NEVER love a man who would grow facial hair? Controlling or not?
Ed, I think you need to look for some articles on controlling behavior.
We are talking about relationship.
If a man declares that he MUST have facial hair and he doesn't care what she thinks and feels about his decision and even doesn't want to have her opinion especially if they met when he didn't have any facial hair at all and never discussed it before I would say, yes, it is a sign of his controlling behavior. (or he is just, pardon my french, a jerk)
The same about a woman in a relationship.
Controllers usually don't discuss, they don't negotiate, they don't want to consider an opinion of their partners, but they give an ultimatum.
A healthy person has all four psychological function (intuiting, thinking, feeling and sensing) working, a controller has one or more function blocked, and usually it is his/her feeling function blocked. Reasons why some functions are blocked or undeveloped, especially feeling function, are rooted very often in childhood.
When feeling function is blocked people are unable to feel a real sympathy for others that means they are unable to put themselves in the position of a person they try to control. More over as I mentioned before the controllers deny individuality of their victims and they assume "one mind" with their victims on whom they project their ideal image, and the ideal image of course knows what a controller thinks, feels and wants in advance.
Controlling behavior also can display itself when, for example, a man treats his woman like a child. Controllers also prefer role of mentors and teachers in a relationship.
Sometimes a woman can think that a man is very caring, attentive and loving but later she finds herself under total control when her partner controller "kills" her authenticity, when he dictates what she wears, eats, with whom she communicates and so on.
and vice versa regarding a woman controller.
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FP:
First, it really throws me that this topic has any legs.
That aside, do you even remotely consider the possibility that the woman doesn't give a damn about the bread ration? At all?
It is a bit surprising that it has gotten some legs to this point. I am also surprised at the denial of of possessive controllers. It exists, it is real and many times is very unhealthy. As I stated before, many times it is harmless.
She may or may not give a rats patootie but, he seems to think she does and he pretty much has declared a victory because of it. That is controlling.
The guy only allows 12 grain bread in his house and follows a regimen of limited consumption. The gal is "stoic", seems to miss it but not enough to make an issue of it. THIS constitutes controlling behavior?
This is the part I don't get. Just my personal opinion but, my wife is free and more than welcome to bring anything into our home she see's fit. Food, poison or whatever it may be. Now if it were nuclear waste I would probably require further discussion on it. You as a guest in our home ED are free to bring your side arm. To deny you that right would be controlling on my part. The discussion here after all is bread, 12 grain and only in limited quantities that "he" approves of. Yes, this is controlling behavior. You can put lipstick and rouge on that pig and call it "only" bread and his right to demand what happens in his house. It is still a pig and it is controlling. Does ML have deeper seated issues? I have no idea and do not care. It isn't part of this discussion. She, according to ML is a guest in his house yet, he limits her on what she may eat in his house, thats controlling old friend.
I see/hear an eccentric who has fund someone who is hanging around, living in his home and has the means to come and go, leave permanently and is apparently in a consensual relationship. No outcry for help. No different than any other relationship.
Because, really, that's all anyone seems to have shown here. No leg chains, no economic coercion, no browbeating, just assumptions and baseless innuendo.
I haven't seen anyone deny ML's guest has a choice. She can always leave as far as I know. Would you leave over bread?
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Ed, I think you need to look for some articles on controlling behavior.
We are talking about relationship.
If a man declares that he MUST have facial hair and he doesn't care what she thinks and feels about his decision and even doesn't want to have her opinion especially if they met when he didn't have any facial hair at all and never discussed it before I would say, yes, it is a sign of his controlling behavior. (or he is just, pardon my french, a jerk)
The same about a woman in a relationship.
Controllers usually don't discuss, they don't negotiate, they don't want to consider an opinion of their partners, but they give an ultimatum.
A healthy person has all four psychological function (intuiting, thinking, feeling and sensing) working, a controller has one or more function blocked, and usually it is his/her feeling function blocked. Reasons why some functions are blocked or undeveloped, especially feeling function, are rooted very often in childhood.
When feeling function is blocked people are unable to feel a real sympathy for others that means they are unable to put themselves in the position of a person they try to control. More over as I mentioned before the controllers deny individuality of their victims and they assume "one mind" with their victims on whom they project their ideal image, and the ideal image of course knows what a controller thinks, feels and wants in advance.
Controlling behavior also can display itself when, for example, a man treats his woman like a child. Controllers also prefer role of mentors and teachers in a relationship.
Sometimes a woman can think that a man is very caring, attentive and loving but later she finds herself under total control when her partner controller "kills" her authenticity, when he dictates what she wears, eats, with whom she communicates and so on.
and vice versa regarding a woman controller.
Olga, you seem oblivious that your examples have nothing to do with the situation we've been discussing.
We're at the front-end of the relationship, not midways. She's free to walk in search of French garlic bread if she so desires.
Certainly, if you enter into a relationship with someone and 3 years later they decide to have facial hair the rest of their life when you hate it, then sure, that person chose facial hair over your desires and is attempting to inflict something in your life which was unacceptable.
That isn't even remotely this situation.
It's like none of you can even remotely consider any of these women really don't regard these things as issues and accept them without any reservations.
Talk about condescending and patronizing........
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Olga, you seem oblivious that your examples have nothing to do with the situation we've been discussing.
Ed, my examples are just an abstract reply on your post about "must have facial hair" and I started with a words "if" and "a man". I really don't know how long they are in relationship... But honestly such situation when a man with whom I just began started to build our relations would just declared about having facial hair and would not display any interest regarding my thoughts would give me some food for other thoughts ;D
And as I said before such phrase as "you are free to do that anytime you want . . . in you own apartment or house" at the beginning of a relationship or a courting process would be a red flag for me and a reason to watch for other signs that could indicate a controlling behavior.
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It is a bit surprising that it has gotten some legs to this point. I am also surprised at the denial of of possessive controllers. It exists, it is real and many times is very unhealthy. As I stated before, many times it is harmless.
She may or may not give a rats patootie but, he seems to think she does and he pretty much has declared a victory because of it. That is controlling.
This is the part I don't get. Just my personal opinion but, my wife is free and more than welcome to bring anything into our home she see's fit. Food, poison or whatever it may be. Now if it were nuclear waste I would probably require further discussion on it. You as a guest in our home ED are free to bring your side arm. To deny you that right would be controlling on my part. The discussion here after all is bread, 12 grain and only in limited quantities that "he" approves of. Yes, this is controlling behavior. You can put lipstick and rouge on that pig and call it "only" bread and his right to demand what happens in his house. It is still a pig and it is controlling. Does ML have deeper seated issues? I have no idea and do not care. It isn't part of this discussion. She, according to ML is a guest in his house yet, he limits her on what she may eat in his house, thats controlling old friend.
I haven't seen anyone deny ML's guest has a choice. She can always leave as far as I know. Would you leave over bread?
As for being a guest it would entirely depend on the circumstances by which I became one (time, finances, etc.). Would I drive to your home, ask to spend the night then fo to Kroger for $100 worth of groceries, bring them home and put them in your fridge without discussing it? Probably not.
Maybe I would do it and surprise you as a "gift" to express my appreciation for your hospitality though. If you told me that 12 grain was all you allowed, I guess I'd say "OMG, I didn't know!" then run back to Kroger to exchange it quickly.
Would I leave over bread? Well, I guess it would depend on how much I wanted that Italian Herb artisan blend.
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Returning to "controlling" behavior, yesterday I placed some nuts and beer into the shopping cart while Galina and I were at the mega store. I had selected pistachi, yet Galina does not like them so she replaced them with cashews, but asking me if it were okay.
At home she hid them from her son because he has an allergy to nuts. Periodically she would reach into the hiding place and munch on a few, saying "Gator, don't buy, I like too much. I too big."
Last night we were watching a film in English with Russian subtitles. We take a break and I return with cashews and a beer. She reaches for some cashews and I quickly grab them from the table, saying "You tell me not to buy." I then smile and return them to the table. She smiles and eats a few, saying "Good."
She could lose a few pounds, yet I think she is fantastic looking. I could lose far more pounds than her, yet she will bring me a pivo even though she does not like it, preferring an apple juice mix that her father made.
This morning I was scolded for not washing my banana before peeling it. Later I was scolded for helping her with something and in the process I placed one house shoe on the common stairwell area outside her door, requiring me to wash the bottom of my house shoe with a wet rag she brought from the bathroom.
I am concerned! Do I need to ask Dr. Phil if our relationship will stand the test of time?
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I am concerned! Do I need to ask Dr. Phil if our relationship will stand the test of time?
No need to talk to Dr. Phil when we got plenty of experts here to help you free of charge. What bothered me the most is when your gal returned your pistachi and replaced it with cashews. That is adding insult to injury and probably was done in retaliation because you never wash your banana. Winter is coming and airfare is cheaper. Time to send her home and save a few bucks while your at it. You can thank me later.
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No need to talk to Dr. Phil when we got plenty of experts here to help you free of charge. What bothered me the most is when your gal returned your pistachi and replaced it with cashews. That is adding insult to injury and probably was done in retaliation because you never wash your banana. Winter is coming and airfare is cheaper. Time to send her home and save a few bucks while your at it. You can thank me later.
Absolutely.
Gator, what you should have done was cross her face with a backhand slap and yell, "Know your place, bitch."
:rolleyes2:
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Absolutely.
Gator, what you should have done was cross her face with a backhand slap and yell, "Know your place, bitch."
:rolleyes2:
:ROFL:
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Back from our 4 day trip to Washington, DC. Really lucked out in that 4 days of mid 60s temperatures with no rain.
Stayed at Hilton Arlington. A fairly pricy place at $300 or so per night, but was able to get a weekend special that included breakfast (which is normally $17 per person), parking (which is $17 per day) and 8 daily Metro passes (which are $9 each).
I chose this hotel because there is a covered walkway from the hotel to the Ballston Metro on the Orange line, and a covered walkway from the hotel to the Ballston Common shopping center. Thus, we were able to avoid using a car during the entire trip and have everything possibly needed a short secure walk away.
I am lifelong member of Smithsonian Institution and got several brochures
ahead of time so Gal could review and select what she wanted to try to see. As many of you might know, you could spend several weeks in the various Smithsonian museums and other sites in the DC area and still never get to see everything of an interesting nature.
Gal opted for art first, so we headed to East wing of the National Gallery. They were having a special exhibit of small French paintings. Small but not miniature. Many were from the various Mellon family member collections. She was completely blown away by this rather large exhibit. I couldn’t get over how bubbly she was and she repeated for several hours how the paintings had lifted her spirit and emotions to new highs. Quite fun for me to be with her in such a state. She is mostly quite pleasant and happy, but this was over the top.
Also in the East wing were special exhibits of Andy Warhol, stabiles of Alexander Calder and some modern abstract artists. She criticized the modern stuff as ‘not really art,’ but I kept bugging her to think about what the artist was trying to convey. So she started telling me what some of the paintings made her think about, and before long she was rattling off so many ideas that I had to start laughing. When I pointed out to her that she really was enjoying discussing these paintings, she had to laugh also.
Gal also raved about the paintings in West wing of National Gallery. This is a huge building and we saw about every painting there. Talk about tired feet!!! Especially noteworthy was the special exhibit on the ground floor of the works given by Chester Dale. This was a huge collection itself and represented most of the acknowledged masters.
Also visited the Hirshhorn and Freer galleries, and the obligatory visit to the Air and Space Museum. Gal was quite amazed that there were several CCCP rockets and other items there. Wondered how we got them! Most amazing for her were several pages from the personal diaries of some of the top Soviet space engineers detailing out the progress toward Sputnik and even plans for moon landings.
One evening at 5:30 PM closing time, we were at Air and Space when she wanted to go to Lincoln Memorial. I knew that would be quite a hike and that the sun would disappear around 6:30 PM. But we are both in great shape from our walking and exercise routines, so we took out at a pretty quick clip. Made it in time while there was still enough light for pictures, etc.
We even made it past the Vietnam Memorial before darkness overtook us.
We also bought tickets for the Hop On and Off bus rides. She really enjoyed that also and agreed with me that DC is one of the most interesting places to visit. Time at Arlington Cemetery rounded out our daytime ventures. Still hundreds more things to see on future trips there. Gal had been to Hermitage in SPb and stated it paled in comparison to the Smithsonian.
We had some very nice evening meals also. Dan and Brads at the Hilton is a good place for a fine traditional meal. For those who want something quite different, I can recommend Fogo de Chao at 1101 Pennsylvania Avenue somewhat closer to the Capital than the White House, at corner of 12th I think it was. This is a Brazilian restaurant with prix fixe menu ($50.)
Each person is given a card which is green on one side and red on reverse. Waiters continually walk around, each with a different cut of meat on skewers. When you have green side up, they stop at your table and offer you some. You can say yes or no. When you have enough on your plate, turn the red side up and they don’t stop at your table. Later, you can turn the green side up again. Great selection of beef, pork, lamb, and chicken. I had already introduced her to medium rare steaks on my charcoal grill, so she is now a fan of that degree of doneness and specified it when the waiters asked. She never believed she could eat it when I first proposed it and still will not tell her parents that she eats such!
Included in prix fixe is good salad bar, but not drinks or dessert. Gal was appalled at the total bill, but I told her we would not eat the following week, so it would all even out.
Another evening we dined at Rose’s Mexicana (or something close to that name) on something like corner of 12th and F streets. Also quite pricy (as are most restaurants in DC) but I wanted her to experience good Mexican food. She wondered how so many people could afford these prices (this and Fogo were both packed). I told her that many people here on expense accounts. We had a great Guacamole dip at Rose’s along with some traditional entrees. The waiter recommended Modelo beer over Corona, and we liked it.
Gal had praise for DC Metro as being quieter than the Kyiv Metro, but criticized it for longer time gaps between trains. She really seems to enjoy driving and got a lot more time in on the Interstates during this trip. Still worries me that she makes fairly jerky movements when changing lanes, and turning on lights or wipers can be a hair raising experience (with respect to keeping the car within a lane), but hope that will get better in time.
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Another evening we dined at Rose’s Mexicana (or something close to that name) on something like corner of 12th and F streets. Also quite pricy (as are most restaurants in DC) but I wanted her to experience good Mexican food. She wondered how so many people could afford these prices (this and Fogo were both packed). I told her that many people here on expense accounts. We had a great Guacamole dip at Rose’s along with some traditional entrees. The waiter recommended Modelo beer over Corona, and we liked it.
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Went to DC for good mexican food? Good to hear you didn't use the word 'authentic'.
What no Taco Bell's around?? :-)
Wondering what part of Mexico Rose's menu catered to? Chalupas?? Mexi-melts?? There wasn't a little chihahua running around was there?? :o
I kinda of prefer mexican restaurants closer to southwest border.....
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I did a little checking:
http://rosamexicano.com/Default.aspx
Good reviews from Zagat:
"The 'Gold Standard' in 'Upscale' modern Mexican cuisine . . ."
Zagat Survey
And, it says right on their website that food is authentic Mexican . . .
so there!! 8)
Rosa Mexicano has become a landmark for authentic Mexican cuisine. Constantly researching new flavors and ingredients from Mexico, chefs Christian and David offer inspiring menu additions throughout the year.
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Actually, it seems they are spread across USA with a couple of locations close to the southwest border, as you say.
One spot at 800 West Olympic Blvd., in LA and another at 8570 West Sunset Blvd., in West Hollywood.
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Gal is noticing that most of the 'Cops and Robbers' TV shows feature Russian and Ukrainian mobsters in NYC and other major cities.
Why they always showing us in such a bad light, she asks.
Because it is true, I answer.
I remember in years past how the Italians complained and even marched in protest about the Godfather image and the prevalence of Italian mobsters on the Cops and Robbers shows.
The Italians are probably thankful for the emergence of the Russian and Ukrainian mafia in USA . . . except for those Italians who have lost their mafia jobs to the Russians and Ukrainians.
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My Gal completed final exams for her 7 University Intensive English courses and found out she will get 6 'A's. Hasn't heard about the 7th yet but she thinks no lower than B.
And right now, she is taking her first official TOEFL exam. She was very worried and I had to give her some liquids and pills to stop the excess acid problem in her stomach last night and this morning.
I didn't even want her to take the TOEFL yet, but she wanted to for the practice.
When I asked her why she was so worried, since she plans to continue on with the Intensive English classes for another semester anyway and doesn't even need a TOEFL score at this point . . . she said because she was worried I would be disappointed with her.
I tried to convice her that I could care less about the TOEFL score she gets from today's exam . . . but doubt she feels any better about it.
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Update on the (almost) zero bread situation.
Gal is excited as he!! that she has lost enough weight that her jeans are very loose around the waist and butt. She is wanting to buy several pairs of jeans dropping down a size. I told her she had better wait until after the Christmas and New Year party season to see if she remains as slender. Plus we are going to Florida for a vacation trip next week where we will pig out many times and probably even eat a lot of bread.
Interesting thing is that Gal is now telling her galfriends back in Ukraine that she knows how they can all lose a few kilos. But when she tell them to forgo the bread . . . they totally freak out; they say it is impossible to do, etc.
Anyway, my Gal has now become a total convert (except for our holiday splurging) even though she also had thought it would be impossible to do.
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The good times keep rolling!!!!
If your Florida trip comes near me, it would be splendid to meet for a libation. Does the "no bread" guideline extend to grains used to make alcoholic beverages?
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Gal got official grade report. 7 A grades including 3 A + plus
No, this does not prove that the UW/RW are super smart as many here claim.
It only means that this one Gal did very well in her classes.
And, she was in an intermediate group which means that even with all A grades, doesn't mean she knows it all.
And, in fact, she did not get high enough score on her first official TOEFL to qualify for Graduate school. She is already conditionally admitted to Graduate school, subject to TOEFL achievement.
I had talked to her enough before the TOEFL to convince her that she shouldn't expect to get the required TOEFL score and that I would not care one way or the other . . . so she didn't take it too hard.
But, her A grades allow her to move into the most advanced group for Intensive English classes for the Spring semester.
Tomorrow, she tries written part of drivers license exam. The RW in her classes took 4 tries to pass the written, so I told her not to expect to pass first time.
She could easily pass if the language were Ukrainian, but the English still throws a roadblock.
Just a few minutes ago she was asking me about two sentences in the book.
One said something about 'letting off the accelerator' and the other said 'let up on the accelerator.' So I had to convince her that 'off' and 'up on' were the same thing. :o
Gator, thanks for the invite . . . but we will be busy with the happenings and friends on the East coast of Florida.
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The good times keep rolling!!!!
Does the "no bread" guideline extend to grains used to make alcoholic beverages?
Unfortunatelly it does. The older you are the more pleasures you have to give up not to gain weight. I dont care about it anymore. I am looking at american women and most of them do not care, so I figured, why should I? I mean there is about 40lbs gap between pretty and unhealthy. I decided at 45yo it takes too much effort to stay in a "pretty" weight. Not worth trying. When it becomes un-healthy I will do smth about it. May be a lipo or whatever there is.
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Hold on a minute.
The refined carbohydrates in bread is what packs on the weight. Vodka and whiskey contain no refined carbohydrates.
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Hold on a minute.
The refined carbohydrates in bread is what packs on the weight. Vodka and whiskey contain no refined carbohydrates.
I dont know why but most diets exclude alcohol.
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I dont know why but most diets exclude alcohol.
because of the calories. Plus the organism processes alcohol first, so fats and carbohydrates get storied in the body.
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I dont know why but most diets exclude alcohol.
One shot of vodka has about half the calories of one slice of bread. However a bottle of beer has more calories than a slice of bread. Donna, drink your vodka straight up. Better yet, drink mezcal as it has taste. Just don't eat the worm.
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I am looking at american women and most of them do not care, so I figured, why should I?
Ask yourself (and then tell yourself the truth) about why your man chose you over an AW . . . then you will have the 'why.'
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Ask yourself (and then tell yourself the truth) about why your man chose you over an AW . . . then you will have the 'why.'
+10!!! :clapping:
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Ask yourself (and then tell yourself the truth) about . . . then you will have the 'why.'
Lets see.. World War 2, alcoholism, wars and crime of 1990s have made the demographics in my country rather unfavorable for women. Demographics, in its turn, have deepen historically chauvinistic mentality in Russian men, which together with comparatively poor economy makes it rather hard for women to become professionally successful and independent. In these conditions women are forced to go above and beyond to stay competitive in a poor market conditions and beauty becomes, for the lack of a better word, - a valuable commodity. And beauty needs constant attention as it tends to go away rather quickly. American women, to the other hand, are confident and independent. Thanks to good economy and demographics the playfield here is leveled. AW successfully compete with men professionally. Beauty is still important, of course, but American women, unlike their Russian counterparts, are not desperate to get married, making it hard for average middleclass men to compete on “marriage market”. An average 50yo often bolding and overweight western man with average income stands no chance with a 20 yo woman here. In Ukraine they line up to meet him. Pardon my French, I don’t give a flying f.ck why AM choose RW. Reality defines mentality. And reality is – I am a fully independent successful female and I will do what I want.
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Lets see.. World War 2, alcoholism, wars and crime of 1990s have made the demographics in my country rather unfavorable for women. Demographics, in its turn, have deepen historically chauvinistic mentality in Russian men, which together with comparatively poor economy makes it rather hard for women to become professionally successful and independent. In these conditions women are forced to go above and beyond to stay competitive in a poor market conditions and beauty becomes, for the lack of a better word, - a valuable commodity. And beauty needs constant attention as it tends to go away rather quickly. American women, to the other hand, are confident and independent. Thanks to good economy and demographics the playfield here is leveled. AW successfully compete with men professionally. Beauty is still important, of course, but American women, unlike their Russian counterparts, are not desperate to get married, making it hard for average middleclass men to compete on “marriage market”. An average 50yo often bolding and overweight western man with average income stands no chance with a 20 yo woman here. In Ukraine they line up to meet him. Pardon my French, I don’t give a flying f.ck why AM choose RW. Reality defines mentality. And reality is – I am a fully independent successful female and I will do what I want.
:clapping:
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First, it is a pleasure to read your posts Donna_Pedro! Although we have some extremely intelligent ladies participating in discussion here, since putting ban on Helen’s account, we are lacking your kind of mentality and enthusiasm to make this place interesting.
I agree if keeping a "pretty" weight takes too much efforts AND having a "pretty" weight brings too little joy, then there is no point of torturing yourself.
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I am a fully independent successful female and I will do what I want.
You certainly can do what you want IF your wants fall within your reach.
The problem is that overweight people are somewhat ostracized and discriminated against, albeit indirectly. For example, nice overweight women usually do not have a line of people wanting their companionship (even desperate 50yo bolding and overweight western men often do not seek it). So if an overweight woman wants a hot man as a life partner, then she would unlikely be able to get what she wants locally. I guess what I am trying to say is that our weight determines what we can do successfully.
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trying to say is that our weight determines what we can do successfully.
A hot man is not a measure of success. My husband has little chance of being on the front page of Mens Health magazine, but he is all I ever wanted. And you are right - being fat is not prestigious. Most rich and successful people are slim and fit. But I am past caring for prestige as well. I have lived my life caring about sht like this. Finally I can afford not to.
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A hot man is not a measure of success.
Definitely not. However, having a hot man might be one of many unreachable wants for the majority of overweight ladies.
Except for your husband, what else do you care about... if it is not a secret?
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Lets see.. World War 2, alcoholism, wars and crime of 1990s have made the demographics in my country rather unfavorable for women. Demographics, in its turn, have deepen historically chauvinistic mentality in Russian men, which together with comparatively poor economy makes it rather hard for women to become professionally successful and independent. In these conditions women are forced to go above and beyond to stay competitive in a poor market conditions and beauty becomes, for the lack of a better word, - a valuable commodity. And beauty needs constant attention as it tends to go away rather quickly. American women, to the other hand, are confident and independent. Thanks to good economy and demographics the playfield here is leveled. AW successfully compete with men professionally. Beauty is still important, of course, but American women, unlike their Russian counterparts, are not desperate to get married, making it hard for average middleclass men to compete on “marriage market”. An average 50yo often bolding and overweight western man with average income stands no chance with a 20 yo woman here. In Ukraine they line up to meet him. Pardon my French, I don’t give a flying f.ck why AM choose RW. Reality defines mentality. And reality is – I am a fully independent successful female and I will do what I want.
...and that my friends...is saying it like it is.
... For example, nice overweight women usually do not have a line of people wanting their companionship (even desperate 50yo bolding and overweight western men often do not seek it). So if an overweight woman wants a hot man as a life partner, then she would unlikely be able to get what she wants locally. I guess what I am trying to say is that our weight determines what we can do successfully.
The acronym BBW (Big Beautiful Women) was coined by men who do in fact prefer and chase overweight women.
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A hot man is not a measure of success. My husband has little chance of being on the front page of Mens Health magazine, but he is all I ever wanted. And you are right - being fat is not prestigious. Most rich and successful people are slim and fit. But I am past caring for prestige as well. I have lived my life caring about sht like this. Finally I can afford not to.
The question is whether your husband cares about your weight. Does he want a wife in "pretty weight"? Were you in "pretty" weight when you got married? I believe there is a number of AM on this very forum that dumped their successful independent fat AW wives and went to FSU. Precisely because "skinny body" is what they want ;)
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The question is whether your husband cares about your weight.
Oh, you are saying its not important what I think about it, Its only important what my husband thinks about it, because he might go away ? Sounds like an abc example of controlling behavior. These jedi mind tricks dont work on me anymore. Fortunately this is not the way problems are discussed in my family. We are partners. We dont control each other. And I am not scared of losing a husband. Never been. Certainly not now. If a skinny body is all he wants - he is free to go for a second helping.
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Oh, you are saying its not important what I think about it, Its only important what my husband thinks about it, because he might go away ? Sounds like an abc example of controlling behavior. These jedi mind tricks dont work on me anymore. Fortunately this is not the way problems are discussed in my family. We are partners. We dont control each other. And I am not scared of losing a husband. Never been. Certainly not now. If a skinny body is all he wants - he is free to go for a second helping.
Nope. I am saying that as long as 1) for both of you weight is either unimportant or secondary to other things or 2) You don't care if your husband stays or goes over the weight issue - everything is totally fine :D
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Oh, you are saying its not important what I think about it, Its only important what my husband thinks about it, because he might go away ? Sounds like an abc example of controlling behavior. These jedi mind tricks dont work on me anymore. Fortunately this is not the way problems are discussed in my family. We are partners. We dont control each other. And I am not scared of losing a husband. Never been. Certainly not now. If a skinny body is all he wants - he is free to go for a second helping.
Very refreshing. I glad you posted it. It is an excellent POV that often gets overlooked even when stated in lieu of slender hot 20 year old bodies and other pretentious wants.
Just a question though. Has this particular attitude of yours compounded, decreased or remained the same since you have been in the US?
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Very refreshing. I glad you posted it. It is an excellent POV that often gets overlooked even when stated in lieu of slender hot 20 year old bodies and other pretentious wants.
Just a question though. Has this particular attitude of yours compounded, decreased or remained the same since you have been in the US?
Thanks. Pretty much the same. After all I am only 6 years younger than my husband.
I am saying that as long as 1) for both of you weight is either unimportant or secondary to other things or 2) You don't care if your husband stays or goes over the weight issue - everything is totally fin
My husband would like me to stay slim. He would like me to stay young too, no doubt. But we both are trying not to impose unreasonable expectations on each other. ;D If this becomes a problem (for him, I mean, because I am comfortable with myself)), he will have to cough up for a lipo.
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The question is whether your husband cares about your weight. Does he want a wife in "pretty weight"? Were you in "pretty" weight when you got married? I believe there is a number of AM on this very forum that dumped their successful independent fat AW wives and went to FSU. Precisely because "skinny body" is what they want ;)
Pitbull, I thought you had progressed beyond such shallow values.
I met DonnaPedro about 7+ years ago. She is a fine looking blond. Even more impressive is her intellect. And based on her posts in this thread, we can add "well adjusted."
Her husband interacted a few times at the RWG forum. He did not impress me as someone with shallow values.
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DonnaPedro,
Anyone who has traveled the FSU will wonder what happens to those Slavic stick figures of the teens. Slavic women like many women become shorter and wider with age but not as bad as some other tribes.
It is natural. With age women's metabolism changes more than men's. Keeping weight off becomes a real struggle. Also, some weight gain is beneficial for women health reasons. Maybe the slender babushkas are too frail to walk about and thus are not seen.
My Cossack woman wears a larger dress size now at age 46, yet still looks great to me - far better than I deserve. Yet my attraction to her is more about her substance, her inner beauty.
You know what is best for you. You seem to have lowered your expectations, and that is a mature step. Further, you are mentally comfortable with the fact. However, knowing you I very much doubt that you have let yourself go.
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Thanks. Pretty much the same. After all I am only 6 years younger than my husband.
My husband would like me to stay slim. He would like me to stay young too, no doubt. But we both are trying not to impose unreasonable expectations on each other. ;D If this becomes a problem (for him, I mean, because I am comfortable with myself)), he will have to cough up for a lipo.
I would like for my wife to stay young and slim too. While we're discussing it, I'd like her to be rich and own a liquor store :D but that probably isn't happening either.
I can appreciate you and your husbands attitude. It's a healthy one IMHO and a vital ingredient to a long lasting relationship. I like to think my wife and I share it. There's enough struggles and demands just being in a cross cultural relationship that one can't dictate. It doesn't make much sense to burden it with those that one can.
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Pitbull, I thought you had progressed beyond such shallow values.
Where did i say those are my values? Just stating the values of the majority of RW-seekers, from this forum primarily. To refresh your memory, please refer to the "Why do AM choose to not date AW, but RW", or some such ;)
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Stopped in for a minute this afternoon, busy busy.
Saw all these new threads on Kharkiv trip report. Ohhh boy, bound to be some new interesting facts about Kharkov or this trip to Kharkov.
But darn,.... not recently. :offtopic:
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Jack makes a good point that we are derailing ML's thread. So I expect a mod will divert this.
Where did i say those are my values? Just stating the values of the majority of RW-seekers, from this forum primarily. To refresh your memory, please refer to the "Why do AM choose to not date AW, but RW", or some such ;)
Glad to know that you do not attach ultimate value to how you look. I imagine you are a pretty woman as well as smart, and I imagine you take pride in how you look. That is good; however, RW seem to take it to the extreme where their physical beauty is the largest measure of their worth. I believe this reflects their history with RM and the attitude of many RM towards young dyevs in general. Your questions to DonnaPedro suggested that you are concerned with this.
Argue with me please.
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RW seem to take it to the extreme where their physical beauty is the largest measure of their worth. I believe this reflects their history with RM and the attitude of many RM towards young dyevs in general.
Argue with me please.
Not gonna argue, since this statement is largerly true. My point was that this extreme attention that RW pay to their appearance and staying slim is precisely what attracts 99% of AM who seek RW wives. I may be mistaken, but i believe that donna pedro is married to an AM. If he belongs to the 1% of AM who didn't go for a "slim young body", good for her :) If not, her not staying slim may cause marital issues. ::)
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Not gonna argue, since this statement is largerly true. My point was that this extreme attention that RW pay to their appearance and staying slim is precisely what attracts 99% of AM who seek RW wives. I may be mistaken, but i believe that donna pedro is married to an AM. If he belongs to the 1% of AM who didn't go for a "slim young body", good for her :) If not, her not staying slim may cause marital issues. ::)
You believe that 99% of the AM stop at "slim young body" and propose marriage. I can refute that easily with this logic: Such a man is stupid, and a RW who would marry him is also stupid. RW are not stupid, certainly not 99% of them.
Would your husband stress his marriage if you gained weight?
Let me elaborate. Physical attrraction certainly plays a key part in the beginning of a relationship. Probably moreso with RW because of the emphasis on photos in profiles. We have grown up meeting the opposite sex in unplanned face-to-face encounters such as at a store, a large party, etc. Gazing at photos of RW is odd (but quite pleasurable)
I would worry about the depth of a relationship if there were no physical attraction. Nevertheless, I assert for many men that physical attraction only gets part of the way. With conventional dating in America, physical attraction is maybe only good for a weekend. Development of a relationship should depend upon far more such as having fun together, aligned goals, etc.
Dating RW introduces the complexity of cultural differences and language barriers. Hence, an AM should take even longer to develop a relationship with a RW (my path). Instead, the geographic separation, travel limitations, etc. tend to compress time. So maybe in the absence of good information about a woman's inner beauty, the man goes for for a young slim body and hopes for the best. But surely not 99% of the men.
Keep in mind that there is a certain set of men who are attracted foremost to breasts. God is fair, he rarely gives slim hips to women with large breasts. Gaining weight just makes those щенки even bigger.
The amount of weight gain is an issue. Yet, I think few men would be upset if the woman they loved gained 10-15 kg. 99% would be concerned if their woman gained 50 kg, but many would be more concerned about her health.
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Keep in mind that there is a certain set of men who are attracted foremost to breasts.
alright Gator, we don't need to go there. I know some wonderful, caring, really nice men who are attracted to contour, ample, copious shaped breasts. ;D :clapping:
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You believe that 99% of the AM stop at "slim young body" and propose marriage. .
Gator,
Please do not ascribe "beliefs" to me that I haven't pronounced. What I have learned from reading numerous topics on RWD, such as "Why RW, not AW", 99% of men says they go for RW because they are slim and care a lot for their appearance, while most AW are fat and don't care. Though certainly named the major reason, the "slim and beautiful" is not the only one - of course everyone hopes to find a soulmate that posseses a host of other compatible qualities.
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Lets see.. World War 2, alcoholism, wars and crime of 1990s have made the demographics in my country rather unfavorable for women. Demographics, in its turn, have deepen historically chauvinistic mentality in Russian men, which together with comparatively poor economy makes it rather hard for women to become professionally successful and independent. In these conditions women are forced to go above and beyond to stay competitive in a poor market conditions and beauty becomes, for the lack of a better word, - a valuable commodity. And beauty needs constant attention as it tends to go away rather quickly. American women, to the other hand, are confident and independent. Thanks to good economy and demographics the playfield here is leveled. AW successfully compete with men professionally. Beauty is still important, of course, but American women, unlike their Russian counterparts, are not desperate to get married, making it hard for average middleclass men to compete on “marriage market”. An average 50yo often bolding and overweight western man with average income stands no chance with a 20 yo woman here. In Ukraine they line up to meet him. Pardon my French, I don’t give a flying f.ck why AM choose RW. Reality defines mentality. And reality is – I am a fully independent successful female and I will do what I want.
Preach it Sista!!!!!!!!
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99% of men says they go for RW because they are slim and care a lot for their appearance, while most AW are fat and don't care.
you are absolutely correct. American or any other men for that matter pay attention and prefer women to have nice, slim bodies. And it seems that in russia/ukraine the concentration of slim, good looking girls who care about their appearance is higher. Reasons? See my post below. But as I said earlier - reality defines mentality. I am no longer living in Russia. My reality is here. The reasons I described earlier do not apply to me anymore. You all want your rw to integrate into your society as fully as poss, dont you? As much as I have resisted the change, in 10 years it has finally caught up to me. I have integrated. I wear comfortable clothing and driver's shoes instead of sexy garb and high heels. I hardly ever use makeup anymore. And I dont care about my pretty weight (I do care to stay healthy though). I was asked a few pages earlier - what I care about, besides my family? I care about my own beloved self. My OWN comfort. My OWN fun. My OWN desires and wants. In russia society expects a lot more of out women. A lot of pressure. Here the pressure is pretty much off. And I have finally learnt to enjoy it.
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you are absolutely correct. American or any other men for that matter pay attention and prefer women to have nice, slim bodies. And it seems that in russia/ukraine the concentration of slim, good looking girls who care about their appearance is higher. Reasons? See my post below. But as I said earlier - reality defines mentality. I am no longer living in Russia. My reality is here. The reasons I described earlier do not apply to me anymore. You all want your rw to integrate into your society as fully as poss, dont you? As much as I have resisted the change, in 10 years it has finally caught up to me. I have integrated. I wear comfortable clothing and driver's shoes instead of sexy garb and high heels. I hardly ever use makeup anymore. And I dont care about my pretty weight (I do care to stay healthy though). I was asked a few pages earlier - what I care about, besides my family? I care about my own beloved self. My OWN comfort. My OWN fun. My OWN desires and wants. In russia society expects a lot more of out women. A lot of pressure. Here the pressure is pretty much off. And I have finally learnt to enjoy it.
Donna_Pedro, I showed this to my wife and the only thing she did was :applaud:
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First full day in Orlando. WOW $90 per person for each Disney Park. Last time I was here about 15-20 each . . . so how old must I be ?
Way overpriced for Epcot Park.
Went on blast off, ride and landing on Mars. I was Navigator and Gal was Pilot. We went on green sissy level, but still about sheeeeet our pants. Don't do it if you have a heart condition. Very realistic. We overshot the landing strip . . . . who the he!! was there before to build it?
Best part of the day was full dinner at Marakesh Restaurant in Morocco section. Meal was one of tastiest I have ever had; plus get to watch the belly dancer with a body to kill for.
Had discussion in toilet area (imagine that) with AM who married a woman from Morocco and converted from Catholic to Islam. Holly cow!!
I had noticed them before and she was quite a looker; but don't think I would do such conversion for her or any woman.
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Went on blast off, ride and landing on Mars. I was Navigator and Gal was Pilot. We went on green sissy level, but still about sheeeeet our pants. Don't do it if you have a heart condition. Very realistic.
When we rode it there was no choice. The Green was added a few years after the ride opened because so many people had motion sickness. I was squeamish. The force for the full experience is 2.5G, well less than a fighter jet, but close to a space shuttle. Most humans lose consciousness at around 5g.
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Full day at SeaWorld today. I rate it superior to Disney Epcot and a tad cheaper at $85 each. Great shows with whales, dolphins, seals, etc. And special after dark ice dancing shows this time of year. Only bad experience was the Polar Express event. Long lines and wait times, and then not really much to look at.
Hard to believe, but we got another first rate formal diner at the Sharks Restaurant. Who could believe you can go to a tourist trap and find some of the best tasting food ever with excellent service!!!
Gal said it would be hard for her to live in Ukraine again with the poor service.
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Have to definitely agree with you ML. I too thought that Sea World was much more entertaining for the adults than Disney. Busch Gardens in Tampa is also another favorite of mine.
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First glitch in trip. Rental car from Enterprise had zero electricity. Even door unlocker on door wouldn't work. Called the 800 number and they said would dispatch fixer but might take an hour. We supposed to meet friends for lunch and spend all day with them.
A bunch of calls, etc. and fixer finally arrived. But he only had battery charger. Wouldn't take a charge. So more calls and they said would send tow truck but that would take another hour. WTF This is company that advertises they will 'pick you up.' So I call 800 again and say I want to talk with CEO of Enterprise. Then the story changed that they would send a car to me . . . but maybe not for an hour. I said there is office a mile away and I can walk sooner than that. Fixer guy (who was an independent said he would take us). A great, nice young black man. He kept saying how embarrassed he was for his city treating vactioners like this. I gave him $20 bucks which he hesitated taking.
Finally got to Radisson hotel of friends. He a 50 something business associate from Costa Rica accompanied by a 20 something beauty with knockout body, but quite a bit too short for my taste. We lounged around pool all day with we guys talking business while my UW and the CR gal swam, played in water, performed disco dancing poolside and tanned. Has been in 80s here since arrival with mostly clear blue sky. They both spoke good English, so everyone had good time.
Had great lunch and later great dinner which turned into wine and deserts all evening. We both will probably gain a ton, but worth it in short run.
Tomorrow to Kennedy Space Center with the same two friends. Forecast for 10-20 percent rain in late afternoon. Hope it holds off.
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I like your style, writing and the details in your story. Keep up the good work !
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ML,
Robert and I had a blast at every Disney Park. I also like their 3D shows. Did you try Soarin'at Epcot? We both love it. One year we went to see the Osborne Family Spectacle of Lights. That was wonderful.
(http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/408597_323279881024385_100000271284296_1235303_825718425_n.jpg)
(http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/408597_323279871024386_100000271284296_1235301_959410613_n.jpg)
We also like Discovery Cove.
Harry Potter and the forbidden journey ride at the Universal Studios was amazing.
You will have a fun at Kennedy Space Center :)
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Chicagoguy thanks. Olga, we only went to Epcot this time, but didn't see the Soarin.
Much too much to see when only have one day. On shuttle bus from hotels to Epcot did meet one couple from Sri Lanka. Well-to-do couple with good English. On way back, we saw them again. They had gone to all 3 Disney parks in time we had only spent in Epcot !!! But they couldn't have seen much in any of the 3.
Spent today at Kennedy Space Center with the couple from Costa Rica. The young CR gal turned out to be a pain in ass always complaining about something. CR guy finally told her to shut up. Then she sulked most rest of day. He told her this in Spanish, but I think it was something like 'shut the fock up or I will throw you out of car.'
I was reminded about how good it is to be with this particular UW Gal who rarely complains about anything and smiles often.
I was a little disappointed in KSC. I had been there before 15 or so years ago and heard several talks and saw demos by real persons. Now it is mostly see a series of movies in various locations. But still a worthwhile trip. Especially mind boggling is the Saturn Rocket lying on its side with Apollo module attached. Huge is too small of a word to describe the length of this monster. In contrast, the Space Shuttle with the two booster rockets on either side looks pretty small (lengthwise). Advances in minituration in this area also I guess.
Film clip of trip to and first moon landing is always great to see again, and there are many nice displays, etc.
There is now a 'Space Shuttle Lift off Experience.' I guess it is somewhat like the Disney thing I described earlier. I wanted to give it a try, but my UW wouldn't go for it and the CR guy wasn't interested either.
There is a fairly new memorial area to the 17 Astronauts killed in action as well as 6 or so more killed in various test flights, etc. Scary part is these names are scattered around on a large mirror with a lot of extra space left . . .
Went to McDs for breakfast this morning. Yes, we do such things. Overheard a man talking on mobile to several relatives it seemed. The wife with him suffered from diabetes and didn't have money for medication. Apparently relatives had promised to send money but didn't. They both looked very scrawny, malnourished, etc. and anywhere from 60 to 75 years old. Kept saying on phone they needed $38. Finally, as they were leaving I went over and asked how much money was needed for her medicine. He said the $38 again so I gave him $40. They both started crying and wanted to know my name, etc. I said it didn't matter.
Then, 5 seconds after they disappeared, a McDs worker told me I had been taken. Said the two were in the day before saying welfare told them to come to McDs for free dinner or some such. But that didn't really prove to me I had been taken.
Anyway, the CR guy told me I was foolish. But later my UW told me in private it was the right thing to do because . . . each time you do such a good thing; it comes back to you more, provided you don't want more.
So I can choose which idea to believe. :)
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Considering it was only $40.00, you should feel good at least in the fact that you did a good deed regardless if it was a scam or not. The way I see it, scam artists eventually get whats coming to them in the end..... :clapping:
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Went to McDs for breakfast this morning. Yes, we do such things. Overheard a man talking on mobile to several relatives it seemed. The wife with him suffered from diabetes and didn't have money for medication. Apparently relatives had promised to send money but didn't. They both looked very scrawny, malnourished, etc. and anywhere from 60 to 75 years old. Kept saying on phone they needed $38. Finally, as they were leaving I went over and asked how much money was needed for her medicine. He said the $38 again so I gave him $40. They both started crying and wanted to know my name, etc. I said it didn't matter.
Then, 5 seconds after they disappeared, a McDs worker told me I had been taken. Said the two were in the day before saying welfare told them to come to McDs for free dinner or some such. But that didn't really prove to me I had been taken.
Anyway, the CR guy told me I was foolish. But later my UW told me in private it was the right thing to do because . . . each time you do such a good thing; it comes back to you more, provided you don't want more.
So I can choose which idea to believe. :)
:clapping:
Interesting comments from your UW - the ones I know (including my wife) don't understand charitable deeds (in most cases).
In this situation ML you did the right thing and that's all that matters. :)
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I have to agree with the others. Makes no difference of it was a scam or not although it does sound like one. You were drawn in and did the right thing. If it was a scam, the karma of a good deed is with you and the bad karma of the deceit is with them.
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Spent Christmas day in Daytona Beach at home of another friend of mine.
He is married to Cuban descent woman. She is still very pretty, but now has porked up quite a bit in 15 years of marriage. (No, they will never read this. NO, not even a remote possibility. No really.) My Gal wearing her newly downsized Levi skinny jeans and other man couldn't keep his eyes off her ass. I loved it. Oh, but don't tell Turbo's wife about this as she doesn't like me telling such.
My Gal pitched in and whipped up some Ukrainian dishes, the other Gal made some Cuban dishes, the guy had a small turkey going on outdoor BBQ while I was only able to keep the mixed drinks going.
We all ate too much, drank too much, watched football and basketball too much and talked too much. Only we four adults in the house.
It became late and I had drank too much; so we stayed the night.
Probably not the best with regard to spirit of Christmas; but we probably not good people anyway !!
I had bought small (in physical size) Christmas gift for my Gal but forgot to take it with me to friend's house. When I told her of this snafu, she said it was best as she would prefer to get it on 7th January and she had left my gift back at our house anyway.
Anyway . . . to inflame more . . . my Gal really likes her new more slender breadless body. During this trip bread is served at all restaurant meals . . . but she refuses to eat any. I told her why not pig out on bread during this trip because I think we are both gaining weight anyway; but she refuses. Quite an amazing turn-around.
Quite amazing weather here with every previous day in low to mid 80s and no rain. Today, for first time, it is a little less warm . . . I think in mid to upper 70s and is cloudy; but still no rain. Thanks to Gator and other Floridians for providing such!! 8)
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the other Gal made some Cuban dishes
Was it good?
My husband and I love Cuban cuisine. One of our favorite places in Miami is
http://www.versaillesrestaurant.com/
mmm I'm still drooling when I mention Versailles :P
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Was it good?
My husband and I love Cuban cuisine. One of our favorite places in Miami is
http://www.versaillesrestaurant.com/ (http://www.versaillesrestaurant.com/)
mmm I'm still drooling when I mention Versailles :P
What do you like in specific? I may be able to give you a recipe.
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What do you like in specific? I may be able to give you a recipe.
I'm not so good at remembering all these Spanish - Caribbean - African names :D but empanadas, oxtail stew, sweet potato with black beans soup, their specific bread sandwiches and will be always on my list. It is the way how they cook it with different spices, and I always try something new. Thank you for your offer on recipes, we have a lot of cookbooks including on Cuban cuisine, we just don't have time. :)
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I'm not so good at remembering all these Spanish - Caribbean - African names :D but empanadas, oxtail stew, sweet potato with black beans soup, their specific bread sandwiches and will be always on my list. It is the way how they cook it with different spices, and I always try something new. Thank you for your offer on recipes, we have a lot of cookbooks including on Cuban cuisine, we just don't have time. :)
When you say empanadas, are those the deep fried dough with meat inside? They were originally from Argentina.
The Cuban Sandwich is the best sandwich I've tried in my life. Specially when the bread is made with lard. I keep trying to convince the owner of this eatery I frequently have lunch into doing an original Cuban sandwich. As a matter of fact, I cooked a pernil (fresh ham with THE spices) for X-mas and brought some with me today for lunch. I called the guy at the restaurant and brought him some for taste. He will try to cook it following the instructions I gave him and then do Cubanos on his lunch menu for a day.
I also make a black bean soup, Brazilian style. With fresh pork hocks.
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When you say empanadas, are those the deep fried dough with meat inside? They were originally from Argentina.
Yes :P Not just from Argentina :) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empanada
Cuban cuisine is influenced by Spanish, African and Caribbean cuisine.
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Ida Davidsen "open faced" sandwiches are the best ones I've tried in my life. Available only in Copenhagen :(
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I also make a black bean soup, Brazilian style. With fresh pork hocks.
I remember how our friends, they are from Portugal, were cooking black beans and added some beer. Oh, the bread-yeast aroma was just amazing! They also presented us their fresh baked banana-chocolate sweet bread they traditionally bake on every Christmas. It was a big loaf for two of us so we shared it with our other friends. And our friends of Polish origin sent us their traditional Polish raspberry small cakes. It is a blessing to have friends from different part of the World! :D
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Olga, yes I liked the Cuban dishes, but don't remember what they were called. Will have to find out.
Went to buffet breakfast this morning. Gal who brought drinks, etc., had name tag indicating Sveta.
Not a discernable accent at first, but I had to ask her if she was Eastern European.
Yes, she said: Russian.
Where in Russia: Murmansk.
OMG . . . might as well be the North Pole.
So the Gals had some brief snatches of Russian talk.
Didn't ask how she happened to be in Florida.
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Didn't ask how she happened to be in Florida.
Kasatka ride? ;D
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I also make a black bean soup, Brazilian style. With fresh pork hocks.
The feijoada? With with rice, and accompanied by chopped fried couve mineira, lightly roasted farofa, and peeled and sliced orange?
(http://www.brazilmax.com/fotos/fe_fooddrink11.jpg)
Good :-*, I had it in Rio where they said it's a Friday night specialty because it's a bit on the heavy side for digestion - it takes a full weekend to get over it ;).
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Ida Davidsen "open faced" sandwiches are the best ones I've tried in my life. Available only in Copenhagen :(
I tried det kolde bord, the Danish variant of Swedish Smörgåsbord, in Copenhagen. Interesting, but not memorable :-\.
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The feijoada? With with rice, and accompanied by chopped fried couve mineira, lightly roasted farofa, and peeled and sliced orange? (http://www.brazilmax.com/fotos/fe_fooddrink11.jpg)
Good :-* , I had it in Rio where they said it's a Friday night specialty because it's a bit on the heavy side for digestion - it takes a full weekend to get over it ;) .
Sandro, just the soup for me.
If I'm going to mix it with rice then I'll make the traditional Cuban dish; Congri. See: http://recipes.wikia.com/wiki/Congri_%28Rice_and_Beans%29_Recipe (http://recipes.wikia.com/wiki/Congri_%28Rice_and_Beans%29_Recipe) sans the red chili pepper.
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The AAA Guide Book says to skip Disney and other such; and instead go to Lake Eola Park in the center of Orlando and to Harry P. Leu Gardens just north of the center.
We did both the last two days we were in Orlando . . . and I must agree with AAA.
Very nice places.
One of my friends let us drive his classic XK to the Gardens.
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Gal took her written driver's license exam back in mid December and passed on first try, getting a learner's permit. We never told that she had a Ukrainian license because there was some chance they might try to take it away as they do for licenses issued by other states of USA.
And just today, she passed the road test part of the exam on first try, so now has official and valid USA drivers license. It is only good for the remaining time period of her 3 year student visa but can be renewed same as USA citizens can, if and when she gets an extension of the student visa.
She had been driving her own car since late July using her Ukrainian driver's license. We could never get consistent answers as to how long she could use this Ukrainian license in USA before having to have a USA state license. Anyway, now she has what is needed. Learning to parallel park was a real bitch, and probably will never be used again. She never had to do it in Ukraine.
Florida pics wearing new Levi 517s officially issued with bread free (almost) diets. I am told these pics may look wider than actual depending on use of wide screen monitors vs the older more square monitors. Who knows.
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...Florida pics wearing new Levi 517s officially issued with bread free (almost) diets. I am told these pics may look wider than actual depending on use of wide screen monitors vs the older more square monitors. Who knows.
LOL! Yeah, I think she's about a loaf away from optimum, LOL. But I'm glad you guys had a great time in sunny Florida!
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Gal is busy preparing a 12 course meal for us and our 4 guests.
We are supposed to eat this evening when first star appears in sky.
Can't have meat, only fish.
Best thing I have heard is that we will have varenyki with cherries inside.
There was some talk of having hay on the table, but I thought that was somewhat unsanitary.
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Correction: The varenyky will have potato inside. Cherries and apples will be inside pyrizhky.
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Lake Eola Park in the center of Orlando, Florida
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ML,
I'm enjoying the updates but just some advice... I think you should be careful taking photos of birds if your lady is around. :P
Kuna
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ML,
I'm enjoying the updates but just some advice... I think you should be careful taking photos of birds if your lady is around. :P
Kuna
I think that caution only applies if the woman is British.
Does bird refer to women in Australia also?
I thought they were Shelias.
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Further update on the Christmas food which covered a period of 3 days.
Borsch with pampushki rolls covered with garlic juice. Gal had prepared these garlic rolls before and I asked her to cut down on the strength of the garlic somewhat.
She also made some pampushki with no garlic which is great with oatmeal, etc.
Kutia with rice, ground poppy seeds, honey and walnuts.
Kolotucha which is made from cheese similar to syrniki and then milk added to form something like a thick cream. This has an excellent taste and goes great with the cherry and apple pyrizhky I noted in an earlier post.
I couldn't find the word 'kolotucha' on an internet search, so the correct spelling must be somewhat different if anyone knows it.
Pyrizhky can come in various forms. Aside from the ones with cherry or apple inside, Gal also made some from flattened dough, ground poppy seeds added, and then successively rolled up. This is also excellent with the kolotucha spread on top, and or honey.
Note: If your Gal starts talking about needing ground poppy seeds . . . just ignore her. Otherwise you are going to find out what a mortar and pestle are, and your arms are going to hurt a lot!! :o Best to tell her that mortar and pestle are no longer available in USA.
Also note that most all of the above is made with flour so, in effect, we ate a lot of bread during the holidays. But now we are done with that until the next holiday.
It takes a lot (and I mean a lot) of time and effort to make some of these items.
I get the impression from my Gal that a lot of women her age and younger no longer know how to make these items; particularly those gals who grew up in the city.
My Gal lived last 20 years in Kyiv, but before that she lived at edge of small town where her parents had huge garden with orchard, and some farm animals. They still do have the garden and orchard. Her grandmother lived with them and taught her how to cook all the traditional Ukrainian dishes, make the bread items, etc.
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I guess it was co-lo-too-ha (other names of this dessert are za-da-van-ka, or pa-roo-ha)
as far as I know these names originate from the Polesia region and are still used by folks living there :-\
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P.S.
Not sure that there is "correct" or "conventional" spelling of these words, for they are rarely used even over here in Ukraine.
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I guess it was co-lo-too-ha (other names of this dessert are za-da-van-ka, or pa-roo-ha)
as far as I know these names originate from the Polesia region and are still used by folks living there :-\
and another name is ryazhenka.
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It takes a lot (and I mean a lot) of time and effort to make some of these items.
I enjoyed a holiday feast at a private home during my recent trip to St. Piter. Salads, fish, meat, potatoes, etc. and much toasting with cognac.
Kousna (delicious), but much work was evident. The seasonings were not many in number but fresh (dill, poppy seeds, etc.). I have a 400-yo mortar and pestle on display. It is so old that RW may think it bad.
I get the impression from my Gal that a lot of women her age and younger no longer know how to make these items; particularly those gals who grew up in the city.
The older city women know, and they have not forgotten how. It is so much work that they finesse out of doing it.
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GMG and Olga, thanks for providing the alternative names. I will check those out.
Gator, thanks for your comments as well.
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A few days back was the 6 month mark since my Gal arrived from Ukraine and moved in with me.
Has been quite a smooth transition and adjustment for both of us.
No major problems have surfaced.
She has never shown any signs of home sickness. She Skypes only weekly or so with a few friends and family. Mostly only short talks, but it seems to do the job.
Probably helps a lot (compared to other situations we sometimes read about here), that she has her own car and goes out and about on her own. Drives back and forth to university, grocery shopping, etc.
Strange, but the biggest problem she has is putting gas in her car. It took her quite a few tries to get the correct sequence of: zapping the discount tag first, then the credit card insert (with quick withdrawal), nozzle down, then choose grade, etc.
I really felt bad for her just yesterday when she did everything correct, and then the frigging thing wouldn't print out the receipt. She feels bad when I finally have to get out of the car and help out, because she wants to be able to do this without any help.
She is very energetic and is always telling about wanting to do more work around the house and property. I have a large tract of timber and have a lot of firewood available. Last summer and fall she eagerly participated in the operation of splitting this firewood and stacking it.
Now, she has taken over the operation of the wood burning furnace that I have. In previous years, my procedure was to load up a pickup full of the wood and bring to the house area once a week. Now she has decided to instead, use a wheelbarrow to bring this wood to the house. Needless to say, this takes a lot of trips. I strongly discouraged her from doing this, but she insists and says it will help keep her slim and trim.
I have put the kabosh on another of her proposals. She heard that people were paying $80 a pickup load for firewood. She wanted me to teach her how to operate one of my chainsaws so that she could cut up more firewood, load it up and deliver it for this $80. Quite a silly idea as neither she nor I needs any such extra money. But she just sees several acres of tree tops lying around (from a timbering operation) and thinks something should be done. We already have about 5 years worth stacked up and covered for our own use.
Most surprising thing has been her embrace of sports. In Ukraine she had zero interest in this. But now she has become a fan of American football, and particularly the University basketball games that we attend. She really gets into the action and bemoans every missed shot of our team, loss of ball, etc. I have started refusing to hold her hand during games as she is prone to tight squeezing with long fingernails.
Another surprising thing has been her renewed interest in mathematics. She is in Intensive English program, and for second semester they suggest the students sit in on some other academic classes just to get more practice in hearing English being used to teach various subjects. We looked at course schedules to see what might fit into her already tight class schedule.
There wasn't much available time wise . . . and she choose a calculus course!! :o
I said, 'are you crazy?'
But she wanted to give it a try. Said it wasn't for a grade anyway, and she had actually had quite a bit of math at university in Ukraine; but that was 23 years ago.
Now she is really eating it up. Sits there and fills up pages with weird symbols solving integrations and derivatives. Just makes me ill in stomach looking at these equations which she wants to show to me and explain step by step. :'(
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It's never too late to be involved in maths ML ;D , anyways you can always sleep on the timber 8) . Happy for you to know all is fine.
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ML,
You are really enjoying your time with this woman even though you are just her friend while she continues her education. Congratulations. Risky for a confirmed bachelor such as yourself.
There wasn't much available time wise . . . and she choose a calculus course!! :o
I said, 'are you crazy?'....Sits there and fills up pages with weird symbols solving integrations and derivatives. Just makes me ill in stomach.....
Weird? There are no weird math symbols, mostly Greek letters. Is she working with Dirac delta function?
I had a few dates with a UW. She possessed a PhD in math and had worked for the Soviet Space Center. She said she studied calculus for four years. I asked why she had failed the courses repeatedly as even engineers in the US complete their calculus in three semesters. :D My joke laid an egg.
As a young scientist for the Soviets she worked with the team developing mathematical models of the trajectories of ICBMs targeted at the USA. :o Remarakably brilliant woman as many of these RW are (once we get past their physical attributes). No longer doing math when I met her.
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she had actually had quite a bit of math at university in Ukraine; but that was 23 years ago.
I am admittedly weak in math, but if that figure is correct, she isn't a GIRL any longer, not by a long chalk ;D.
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I am admittedly weak in math, but if that figure is correct, she isn't a GIRL any longer, not by a long chalk ;D .
Sandro, where did your GIRL reference come from. I don't think I used it in connection with her.
Perhaps some times I do refer to these adult women as girls, but I only do so because that is what they say themselves when referring to their friends, etc.
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Sandro, where did your GIRL reference come from. I don't think I used it in connection with her.
A few days back was the 6 month mark since my Gal arrived from Ukraine and moved in with me.
Or is it short for Galina?
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Or is it short for Galina?
SANDRO, Gal is a casual term for woman or female. I'm surprised you of all peeps didn't know that :D
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SANDRO, Gal is a casual term for woman or female. I'm surprised you of all peeps didn't know that :D
Yes, gal is equivalent to guy are frequently paired. If one wants to be gender neutral, it would be gul, as in seagull because it is impossible to tell a seaguy from a seagal. Corny.
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it is impossible to tell a seaguy from a seagal.
Don't tell him...
(http://shotgunkorea.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/seagal.jpg)
...he's invested so much in black hair-dye ;D.
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Don't tell him...(http://shotgunkorea.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/seagal.jpg)
...he's invested so much in black hair-dye ;D .
:ROFL:
The other day my son and I were watching TV and we decided to watch this new film in which he has the leading role of fighting crime in Eastern Europe.
It was awful and Steven Seagal was worse.
His clothing and the camera angles were selected to try to hide the fact that he has gained 30-40 pounds. His hair looked more like a black rug than hair. His skin was covered with dark cream to give him that dark brooding look.
The absolute worst was the fight scenes. He had only a couple of moves which were very basic, and the film was sped up and superimposed with a villain to make it appear as if he had actually moved. No, that was not the worst. The worst is that he is younger than me.
We watched 10 minutes. It was good for a laugh. He was worse than Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now. At least Marlon could act and Apoc Now was a fantastic film.
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:ROFL:
The other day my son and I were watching TV and we decided to watch this new film in which he has the leading role of fighting crime in Eastern Europe.
It was awful and Steven Seagal was worse.
His clothing and the camera angles were selected to try to hide the fact that he has gained 30-40 pounds. His hair looked more like a black rug than hair. His skin was covered with dark cream to give him that dark brooding look.
The absolute worst was the fight scenes. He had only a couple of moves which were very basic, and the film was sped up and superimposed with a villain to make it appear as if he had actually moved. No, that was not the worst. The worst is that he is younger than me.
We watched 10 minutes. It was good for a laugh. He was worse than Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now. At least Marlon could act and Apoc Now was a fantastic film.
:offtopic: I had an occasion to meet him for several hours about 10 years ago, while side kicking with a friend in charge of part of an event in which he was starring. Mama always said if you can't speak good of someone then don't speak at all, so I won't :D
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I recall reading some time back the TR by someone, can't remember his name.
Anyway, he used a lot of terminology re dating that I wasn't familiar with such as 'frame.'
I think he or some others also talked about 'high value' woman or man. The idea was (I think), that if a man were perceived to be with a 'high value' woman, then other women would be attracted to this man. I don't generally pay any attention to such words or concepts, but . . . .
I noticed on two occasions recently that women who wouldn't normally smile at me, did give me a pretty good smile when I was walking up the stairs at basketball games with my Gal. Gal was dressed in tight jeans, tight sweater and high heeled Ukrainian style winter boots, hair done up nicely, etc. The women smiled at me, not her.
So, who knows.
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I recall reading some time back the TR by someone, can't remember his name.
Anyway, he used a lot of terminology re dating that I wasn't familiar with such as 'frame.'
I think he or some others also talked about 'high value' woman or man. The idea was (I think), that if a man were perceived to be with a 'high value' woman, then other women would be attracted to this man. I don't generally pay any attention to such words or concepts, but . . . .
I noticed on two occasions recently that women who wouldn't normally smile at me, did give me a pretty good smile when I was walking up the stairs at basketball games with my Gal. Gal was dressed in tight jeans, tight sweater and high heeled Ukrainian style winter boots, hair done up nicely, etc. The women smiled at me, not her.
So, who knows.
I wager a $100 that the women smiling at you were not your age. :ROFL:
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I recall reading some time back the TR by someone, can't remember his name.
Anyway, he used a lot of terminology re dating that I wasn't familiar with such as 'frame.'
I think he or some others also talked about 'high value' woman or man. The idea was (I think), that if a man were perceived to be with a 'high value' woman, then other women would be attracted to this man. I don't generally pay any attention to such words or concepts, but . . . .
I noticed on two occasions recently that women who wouldn't normally smile at me, did give me a pretty good smile when I was walking up the stairs at basketball games with my Gal. Gal was dressed in tight jeans, tight sweater and high heeled Ukrainian style winter boots, hair done up nicely, etc. The women smiled at me, not her.
So, who knows.
That would be TwoBit Bandit - Sixteen Days in Novosibirsk.
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More on FSU superstitions.
Right now, my Gal is vacuuming the house . . . on a Sunday.
But she will not do laundry on Sunday; because on more than one occasion when she did laundry on Sunday . . . something 'not good' happened. And once she even violated this rule (after she has established it) because her child wanted something washed to take on a trip. So she washed it; and the child became sick on the train.
And yesterday, I violated a rule and caused our basketball team to lose the game.
There was a very big crowd at the game, so we didn't get our regular seats.
Our team was leading by 10 points at halftime.
Just before halftime, I scanned around to see if there were two seats empty at a better location. I found them and said "Let's go there."
She: "We shouldn't move because it will bring our team bad luck."
Me: "Don't be silly, no one on either team will even know we have changed our seats."
So we go to the different seats.
Other team outscored our team by 20 points in second half.
She was not a happy camper for a few hours . . . and even worse, now her point has been 'proven.'
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFwEisJ_17g
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More on FSU superstitions.
Right now, my Gal is vacuuming the house . . . on a Sunday.
But she will not do laundry on Sunday; because on more than one occasion when she did laundry on Sunday . . . something 'not good' happened. And once she even violated this rule (after she has established it) because her child wanted something washed to take on a trip. So she washed it; and the child became sick on the train.
And yesterday, I violated a rule and caused our basketball team to lose the game.
There was a very big crowd at the game, so we didn't get our regular seats.
Our team was leading by 10 points at halftime.
Just before halftime, I scanned around to see if there were two seats empty at a better location. I found them and said "Let's go there."
She: "We shouldn't move because it will bring our team bad luck."
Me: "Don't be silly, no one on either team will even know we have changed our seats."
So we go to the different seats.
Other team outscored our team by 20 points in second half.
She was not a happy camper for a few hours . . . and even worse, now her point has been 'proven.'
Have you ever analyzed how they think this is possible?
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When Steven Segal wakes up in the morning he knows it is because Chuck Norris lets him live ))
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Major new happening here.
As I reported much earlier, Gal came over with intent to get MBA to help her manage her money.
And this semester, just to hear some more English, she starting auditing two Calculus courses in addition to her Intensive English Program.
She starting really eating up this math stuff and even taking the tests, although not required.
One of the Professors is very senior and prestigious, and has a lot of 'pull' at the University. He took note of her getting top scores on his exams (senior level undergraduate class).
On Friday, he surprised the sheeeeeet out of her by telling her that he had arranged for her to get a Graduate Assistantship starting in Fall semester, if she would decide to get a M.S. degree in Math. And if she didn't want the GA, he would arrange for her to get a full tuition scholarship.
The difference is the tuition scholarship pays for all tuition (about $20,000) per year with no work responsibilities.
The GA pays all tuition AND gives her $1,000 a month in salary; but she would have to put in 20 hours a week either helping teach a beginning course or helping a professor with his research, etc.
I told her to opt for the tuition only plan; but she likes the idea of getting the $1,000 a month.
From my standpoint: She doesn't need the money AND her hours working would cut into the time she can be home with me wearing her French Maid outfit.
Plus (just to raise some blood pressures), it would cut into the time she could be home scrubbing the floors on her hands and knees.
So we will have to arm wrestle about this.
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Interesting. I trust you told her how proud you are.
"I told her to opt for the tuition only plan; but she likes the idea of getting the $1,000 a month."
It is time to construct some charts showing the pros and cons of both options. Please have one addressing entitlements, male and female.
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just a splash of cold water ...
Umm, when you compress all possibilities into 3 - 10 days, and speak of things such as OW, VM, etc... it makes me scratch my skull. The life I have lived is NOT like this. Women are not like this. Relationships - both good and the bad - are not like this.
When you describe "tendencies" and "generalizations", well that is one thing ... but when you try to apply them to the individual, that is another thing entirely.
I have come back to this board after many years. When I first found it, I thought it was a gold mine of collective experience and impressions. This time, I am seeing something less.
BUT, for the OP- thanks for sharing and I look forward to your future posts
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just a splash of cold water ...
Umm, when you compress all possibilities into 3 - 10 days, and speak of things such as OW, VM, etc... it makes me scratch my skull. The life I have lived is NOT like this. Women are not like this. Relationships - both good and the bad - are not like this.
When you describe "tendencies" and "generalizations", well that is one thing ... but when you try to apply them to the individual, that is another thing entirely.
I have come back to this board after many years. When I first found it, I thought it was a gold mine of collective experience and impressions. This time, I am seeing something less.
BUT, for the OP- thanks for sharing and I look forward to your future posts
Did you post this in the wrong thread?
Can't see how it relates to my thread in general; and in particular I had no such 3-10 day visits that you make reference to.
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yep - my mistake. lo siento
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We have had, and still having, our first major problem in our otherwise wonderful relationship.
This concerns her return trip to Ukraine for visit with relatives this summer.
Not about whether to go, that has never been an issue.
But about the timing.
Things to do here at specific times, vs going there at a specific time.
This is where I find out where I really rank in the scheme of things.
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ML, Will you be going with her on this trip?
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ML, Will you be going with her on this trip?
No, I will not. But that was never part of the plan and is not a point of conflict.
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Ah, ok! Understood.
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You are showing signs that this woman is important to you. Good.
My advice: now is the time to say "I understand, I would feel the same if I had been away from my family, friends and America for a year." You do not want to be thought of as an "egotist." Almost as bad as "greedy."
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My advice: now is the time to say "I understand, I would feel the same if I had been away from my family, friends and America for a year."
Gator, as I said:
Not about whether to go, that has never been an issue.
But about the timing.
Things to do here at specific times, vs going there at a specific time.
This is where I find out where I really rank in the scheme of things.
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Unless you're having surgery/attending a close family member's wedding or such, I don't think you can conclude that you "rank" somewhere below someone else in the scheme of things.
At the end of the day, when you look at it, are you being petulant?
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At the end of the day, when you look at it, are you being petulant?
This question applies equally to both parties.
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While that may true, arranging a trip abroad is always a PITA. She has classes. In her position, I would want to go in the middle of my "break".
I suppose the compromise is a test of your relationship. But remember, women who compromise all the time begin to resent it. Then one day, she leaves and he has no clue why.
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I vote for the patented Vulcan Neck Grab!
(http://images.zaazu.com/img/Spock-spock-star-trek-smiley-emoticon-000554-medium.gif)
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While that may true, arranging a trip abroad is always a PITA. She has classes. In her position, I would want to go in the middle of my "break".
I suppose the compromise is a test of your relationship. But remember, women who compromise all the time begin to resent it. Then one day, she leaves and he has no clue why.
Yes, I know all about arranging trips abroad, having done it dozens of times.
Yes, she will go in the 'middle of her break.' But it's a long break, and within this long break is where we disagree as to the timing.
And, not meaning to be tedious, but;
men who compromise all the time begin to resent it. Then one day, he terminates the relationship and she has no clue why.
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My point about the trip was about whether or not you are looking at the whole picture.
Have you told her whether or not she accedes to your wish is a test of the relationship?
How have you been compromising? You won the "bread wars", didn't you? :P
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The bread war has long been over. As I posted a couple of times earlier in this thread, she has completely embraced the no bread (actually just reduced bread) concept as she has seen the results with her weight.
We both compromise every day. That has not been a problem. I have given up tons of business opportunities to help with her daily English lessons.
Every intelligent person knows there are many tests of the relationship.
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I was being facetious about the bread war.
"of a relationship vs the relationship? (asking for clarity in what you're saying). If so, I disagree. I can only view this from my own experience of marriage, and those of friends around me. Personally, I never had any "tests" in my relationship. I married, for better or worse, for life. I never worried about ranking, or whether there was a tit for tat. I'm not saying others who do this are wrong, just that the statement is not universally true.
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I suppose the compromise is a test of your relationship. But remember, women who compromise all the time begin to resent it. Then one day, she leaves and he has no clue why.
I misssed this comment while away golfing. It is so true. I have a feeling (no evidence) that few RW are victims of being walked over for a long period of time..
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Update:
Gal has decided to just take the tuition scholarship and forego the Graduate Assistantship, at least for the Fall semester.
With regard to the timing of her summer trip back to homeland, I finally told her to choose any time she wanted. She choose the time that fit best for us to do the things here at the best time. So all is well.
She bought the tickets last night also. Saved about $300 over next best price by going Aeroflot JFK to SVO and then down to KBP; same routes on the return.
These prices jump around some every day, so you never know which route and airline will be the best deal.
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Gal finished all final exams in the Intensive English Program for Spring 2012 and got all A grades.
She also took the TOEFL 2 weeks ago and achieved higher than the minimum score required for graduate school here.
(Note: I avoided use of term 'passed TOEFL' because there is no such thing. Each college or organization sets their own required minimum score.)
Now she is studying for the final exams for the two calculus courses she is sitting in on. She isn't getting credit for these courses, but she wants to keep the pressure on herself by aceing these exams also, which she has been doing.
She is anxious to finish up these exams so she can get out into the yard full time for a few weeks.
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Gal finished all final exams in the Intensive English Program for Spring 2012 and got all A grades.
She also took the TOEFL 2 weeks ago and achieved higher than the minimum score required for graduate school here.
(Note: I avoided use of term 'passed TOEFL' because there is no such thing. Each college or organization sets their own required minimum score.)
Now she is studying for the final exams for the two calculus courses she is sitting in on. She isn't getting credit for these courses, but she wants to keep the pressure on herself by aceing these exams also, which she has been doing.
She is anxious to finish up these exams so she can get out into the yard full time for a few weeks.
Congratulations Gal!
Keep up the good work! :clapping:
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I have been gone from here the past month. Like going cold Turkey.
Gal and myself had a great time the month of May doing a thousand things we hadn't gotten the chance to do when she was busy with school.
Nearly 11 months together without any major hitches.
But alas, now she has flown back to the homeland for a month long visit.
I shall miss her . . . but it is also sort of neat to get some free time by myself for a change.
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I was wondering where you were at. Good to see you're okay.
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I was wondering where you were at. Good to see you're okay.
Thanks for your concern. 8)
I think I hinted in another thread that I was spending far to much time on this forum for awhile and needed to attend to other matters.
Now that my Gal is gone for a month, I will probably waste more time here!!
Good to read that your trip seems to be going well Natural.
I have been to Crimea many times, but mostly in the triangle area of Simferopol, Yalta and Sevastopol.
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The art of ballet raised to a new level
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=GsTqmEeBKhw&vq=medium#t=41
This should win any conceivable talent contest.
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The art of ballet raised to a new level
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=GsTqmEeBKhw&vq=medium#t=41 (http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=GsTqmEeBKhw&vq=medium#t=41)
This should win any conceivable talent contest.
Words (almost) fail me!!!!!!
Absolutely unreal. :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :flowers:
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Some months ago my Gal told me of an acquaintance who had gotten Hepatitis from dental work performed there.
Now that she is back visiting, she has heard of a second person who got Hepatitis after dental work at a different dental clinic.
So apparently this is not uncommon. Death can occur from Hepatitis, as I understand it.
Anyone else heard of this Hepatitis from dentist in FSU situation?
It would be another factor to consider in the decision as to whether to get dental work done in FSU or not.
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So apparently this is not uncommon. Death can occur from Hepatitis, as I understand it.
Anyone else heard of this Hepatitis from dentist in FSU situation?
Never heard about Hepatitis from a dentist in FSU. Usually people like to tell horror stories about AIDS from dentists :) My explanation is simple, Hepatitis-C is a venereal disease so dentists look a more acceptable reason to blame for.
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Hep C is a bloodborne virus. It is most commonly transmitted by intravenous drug users in the West. It can also be transmitted through poorly sterilized medical equipment. It can be transmitted by sexual contact, but only if blood is present. Hep A and Hep B can be transmitted through bodily fluids. Hep C is far worse than the other two.
There was a case in Florida in the late 1980's/early 1990's, where a dentist with HIV infected 10 patients.
http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00001877.htm (http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00001877.htm)
So, it has been known to happen. Here, by the way, is the story of that dentist's first known infected patient -
http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20113381,00.html (http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20113381,00.html)
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Just talked with my Gal. I told her of some disbelief here that one can get Hepatitis from dentist. She had had some more input regarding the latest case, and the woman has Hepatitis B.
After a visit with Infectious Specialist, this woman was informed that the most common method of getting Hepatitis B in Ukraine now is from a dentist or from a manicure. It so happened that this woman had both a tooth extraction AND had a manicure that involved some bleeding within the past 6 months.
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In Russia there is a programm of vaccination against Hepatitis B. All kids are required to have one. Though the vaccination could be suspended in Ukraine in 1990s because of the mess after SU break-up.
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Nice to have you back ML. :)
Now that you mention it , My ex Ukrainian GF was really freaked out about getting hepB from the dentist too. She also threw away her manicuring tools but only after a person from questionable past used her nail file, and she then used it too.
I think it's possible to spread disease in these activities, but It is very very unlikely that dentists would be the source of this.
Unless of course they were an IV drug user, which is also more common in Ukraine than I had ever imagined.
When I found out that patients give themselves their own injections, I did not believe it at first.
But I did find out that it is in fact true. ::)
I think that it is much more likely this person may have shared a needle and (un) intentionally pricked herself and instead of admitting to such stupid and risky behaviour, she found it easier to blame the dentist.
That may just be the "go to " guy for infected drug addicts. "the dentist did it to me :( "
Kinda like , the Butler did it.
I am positive that my ex had a HUGE drug habit that sometimes if not all the time involved shooting a needle. I can think of no condition where you would need to give injections to yourself vs eating a tablet or drinking an anti-biotic.
No, injections are for immediate delivery of narcotics, and not for aspirin or prozack.
This also explains the crazy shift in her personality and behaviour once she returned to ukraine.
I mean, really, when have you ever heard gossip of an IV drug user giving hepB or C to himself because they are stupid? No it is a much more dramatic topic when the person blames the dentist or the lady at the salon. The fact that drug users lie and are in denial is another factor that I would entertain before going to Dr. Tooth and making such accusations.
Oh, and just because one has a perscription, and it is leagal , doesn't make that person exempt from being an addict.
If conditions are so dirty in a dentists office, this would get around and no one would be going to the dentist. Better to get a cavity than a hep virus. I know things are very sub par compared to the west, but common, how many other patients mouths would have had to be touched and no hand washing being done to spread a hep virus?
Like working with power tools in a persons mouth all day without rinsing or any disinfection at all? maybe then. maybe.
Where do they get their facts from? have they tested anyone for this? I am really curious now :)
It's also possible that she got it from her BF, during... whatever...
People don't want to believe the truth even if it's laid out right in front of them.
Fantasies are more fun, and make you not responsible for your actions or non actions.
Hey kinda like here .. :)
hehe, that's my devils advocaton for today :devil:
of course that's just my opinion
Since when did everybody become so gullible anyway?
Or more simply when did Jaosn become so skeptical?
Don't answer, it's a rhetorical question.
:(
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...I can think of no condition where you would need to give injections to yourself vs eating a tablet or drinking an anti-biotic.
Have you not heard of insulin injections for diabetes?
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I can think of no condition where you would need to give injections to yourself vs eating a tablet or drinking an anti-biotic.
No, injections are for immediate delivery of narcotics, and not for aspirin or prozack.
I can. I am originally from Ukraine and when was kid and in my teens was given injections of antibiotic penicillin and anesthetic novocain (its common to use for reducing the pain from injection of penicillin) due to bronchitis on several occasions. They were prescribed and my mum was the one who had to inject them. Every time injections were prescribed only if bronchitis was really bad or been going on for prolonged period of time and nothing else helped.
And thats simple example, there can be many reasons why injections could be required.
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Just received this pic so that I "wouldn't forget her."
Being a leg man, I never noticed her eyes before . . . honest! 8)
Not too bad for 40 something.
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ML,
Fine looking woman. Missing her, huh? That says something.
And she has not been gone that long. That really says something. You are justifiably proud as well as horny.
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My Gal has been gone for 3 weeks now, and still one week to go before she is back with me.
The fat AW are starting to look not so fat recently.
This is dangerous.
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In Russia there is a programm of vaccination against Hepatitis B. All kids are required to have one. Though the vaccination could be suspended in Ukraine in 1990s because of the mess after SU break-up.
The CDC recommends hepatitis A and hepatitis B vaccinations for Americans traveling to Ukraine.
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The CDC recommends hepatitis A and hepatitis B vaccinations for Americans traveling to Ukraine.
That's a bit mean-spirited towards the rest of the world :D - do they think we're already infected?
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My Gal is scheduled to get on plane early Saturday morning to fly back to me.
Will she get on this plane?
Who knows!
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My Gal is scheduled to get on plane early Saturday morning to fly back to me.
Will she get on this plane?
Who knows!
Maybe a loaf of white bread might win her over? :D
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She likes dark bread best.
Maybe I will send her a picture of a slice of dark bread . . .
and another of me in my boxers.
See which one she chooses.
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My Gal is scheduled to get on plane early Saturday morning to fly back to me.
Will she get on this plane?
Who knows!
Why are you having doubts? From what little you have told us, things seem to have been going very well - have you been having "discussions" while she has been away?
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We talk almost every night (her time) on Skype.
Everything is going great.
We profess that we miss each other very much.
But still . . . everyone has to take that action to get on the plane.
Very few certainties in the world.
And I am an optimist. 8)
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We talk almost every night (her time) on Skype.
Everything is going great.
We profess that we miss each other very much.
But still . . . everyone has to take that action to get on the plane.
Very few certainties in the world.
And I am an optimist. 8)
No, you are falling into the same trap as so many others - seeing red (or at least orange) flags where none should exist. From what you have told us, she has set up a wonderful life in the USA, even if you weren't in the picture. That she has you as well should be a blessing (despite some of your weird opinions :D ), and she doesn't seem to have any reason to stay away longer than planned.
Or have her family been brainwashing her into thinking that you really are using her for truly nefarious ends? :devilish:
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Her family likes me more than ever.
In fact, they have been buying presents for me for her to bring.
I have never mentioned any red flags.
It ain't over til the fat lady sings. 8)
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Her family likes me more than ever.
In fact, they have been buying presents for me for her to bring.
I have never mentioned any red flags.
It ain't over til the fat lady sings. 8)
I think what you are feeling is a purely natural occurrence, you miss the ole gal. ;D Whether you're admitting it to yourself or not doesn't matter or why you're missing doesn't matter much either. It is what it is
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Well she did get on the plane and return to me. Surprise, surprise!!
Actually, I was just trying to jerk you guys around a little and get some action going. But it didn't work much.
But heck, it worked for Rivcardo. What, 100 pages or so of him jerking you guys around . . . and I only get 3-4 responses. ::)
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...Actually, I was just trying to jerk you guys around a little and get some action going. But it didn't work much.
But heck, it worked for Rivcardo. What, 100 pages or so of him jerking you guys around . . . and I only get 3-4 responses. ::)
You need to work on your "get up people's noses by having a dodgy job" skills, instead of just being a multi-millionaire property developer - that's SO 1980s! >:D
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Well she did get on the plane and return to me. Surprise, surprise!!
Actually, I was just trying to jerk you guys around a little and get some action going. But it didn't work much.
But heck, it worked for Rivcardo. What, 100 pages or so of him jerking you guys around . . . and I only get 3-4 responses. ::)
Maybe you should get into pimp-n-porn as a side business and less of a consumer to drive your thread page count up? ;D
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We spent a few days in the big city where she landed in USA.
Now we are back on the ranch and she has started second summer session at the university. She greatly enjoyed the Fourth of July activities here . . . two music concerts, parades, fireworks.
Trip back to the home country went fine for her.
Most of her female friends were very jealous of her for her jump to USA.
They also said she was very 'brave' for having done so.
As a couple of others have mentioned here . . . changing terminals at SVO in Moscow is now a lot easier than changing planes at airports in USA. Has nothing to do with particular language; the directions and instructions are just a lot more clear in SVO . . . at least now.
Also, new terminals are very nice in Kyiv and now the terminals are a lot less crowded than before because people are spread out over more terminals.
Last year she flew from Paris and said that, upon landing in USA, the interior of the plane was just disgustingly trashy looking.
But the flight to USA from Moscow landed looking very spiffy inside.
Spiffy is a new word she learned in Intensive English Classes that she seems to like.
Also, today, she told me another driver's actions 'freaked her out.' I got quite a chuckle from that expression.
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As is our usual activity, we walked for an hour today (Saturday) along our local walking trails, and then went to McDonald's for breakfast . . . to make sure we do not lose any weight. 8)
We use coupons at McDonalds, Hardees, Burger King, IHOP, etc., because we can't afford regular prices.
Anyway . . . we were having our usual great conversations; and I mentioned how it seems that very few guys go to western Ukraine in search of a woman.
The main reason was that relatively fewer women from western Ukraine post their profiles on the dating sites (relative to other parts of Ukraine).
And, I mentioned that on these discussion sites it is usually stated that the reason for these fewer profiles is that economic conditions aren't as bad in western Ukraine, etc.
But my Gal said the reason was just the opposite. The economic conditions were actually worse in western Ukraine, but . . . a very high number of women from western Ukraine had already left the country for jobs in Italy and other such western countries. They were (geographically) much closer to these western countries and it didn't seem so traumatic for them to be moving there. So there were fewer women from western Ukraine posted on the dating sites . . . because many were no longer living in western Ukraine.
She mentioned one other contributing factor. People in western Ukraine are generally much more into religion than those in other areas of Ukraine; which leads to some reluctance of the women to 'post themselves' on dating websites.
My Gal is really not an expert on this, has never even visited a dating website, and doesn't have any close gal-friends who have . . . so she might not have the correct answer.
But, anyway, we had an interesting conversation about this for a half hour or so.
= = = = =
One other thing which brought a big smile to my face.
When talking about how many women from western Ukraine had moved to other countries; she said that some had gone to . . . 'the Russia.' :o
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Western Ukraine, predominantly Ukrainian language speaking , is a bit different culturally and economically.A lot of the region is more economically depressed for sure.
The region is also more nationalistic, and wary of foreigners as a general rule.
I have lived in an area of Czech that was similar.My wife's extended relatives are from western ukraine, and it is somewhat of a different mindset culturally.
I'm sure Ukrainians posting here can fill in with much more detail,,but it just isn't surprising that despite economics being dire, there aren't as many listings on marriage agency sites from that region.
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I recently asked my Gal why the FSU folk think that most Americans are stupid. She said that actually in Soviet times, the common folk did not think that Americans were stupid. They sort of looked up to us, despite the communist rhetoric. It was only after the fall of SU when larger numbers started traveling to USA and even living in USA and raising their children here that the word started filtering back to FSU about the stupidity of Americans. This was mainly due to the fact that their children were far ahead of the American kids in their math, etc.
Further she said that during Soviet times, rather than thinking we were stupid . . . they actually felt sorry for us. This was because they were drilled constantly in school about how lucky they were to be living in the greatest country in the world, and that in America most were poor and only the few rich had a good life.
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You know ... I have been thinking:
In the past, I had thought that it was best to go to one area and develop real relationships with people, and that good introductions with good girls would happen naturally - and that is true. BUT, in places like Cali, Colombia and Poltava, Ukraine ... where then MOB industry has been very active, there is a certain "frame of reference" that is suspicious (both for the women AND the man). It is obvious that an AM gets a high "trade up" in these locations, especially with women who are a little off the radar screen.
But, at the end of the day, in many cases, you end up meeting women that are not part of the modern world - village girls in Ukraine / Barrio girls in Colombia.
On my way back from Ukraine last month, I met a dance instructor from Turkey. She was traveling to the USA, where she had been and worked many times before. She was 32 years old (dance instructors are never overweight). Because she was traveled and plugged into the modern world, she caught my humor and intelligence more than the women in met in Poltava or Kharkov. We were very close by the time the planes' wheels hit the ground - a good connection. It felt very normal. Conversely, the women I met through agencies, while perhaps well-intended, seemed tentative by comparison. (Thus, the constant statement the first trip sets up the second trip.)
So, in light of my recent experiences, I have used the computer like never before - primarily using Russian based online communities to search for women that have good English and are already accomplished (not desperate in any degree, or compromising). Using Skype with these types of women is very revealing. With just a little research, there is no need to wonder or "de-code". So, my point is (or more accurately) my perspective now is that a wide net of possibilities, a very uncompromising attitude, good English only, a little research to verify, and a lot of SKYPE to verify a connection, seems to reduce the risks of a WOVO greatly. Of course, all of this is a journey to me, and I am no expert (I doubt anyone can ever be - luck plays a large role here)
This does require a different mindset IMO, however. I do not think it is wise to be searching and holding one's breath for Ms. Right with this method. THE PACE IS MUCH SLOWER. Which reminds me the strangest aspect of the MOB narrative - the premature talking of marriage! Was it just me, or did this seem mightily strange?
Today, I have a group of online acquaintances. It is interesting to notice how compatibility and trust can be created, or not, in this way. Few "scammers" and wastes of time live through such a normal filter. In fact, you find yourself drawn to others based upon personality and interest. Upon reflection, many of the success stories noted on RWD occurred in more or less this manner. Food for thought.
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In fact, you find yourself drawn to others based upon personality and interest.
Am I missing something? This is a statement of the obvious. Are these not part of the qualities that create bonds?
Which reminds me the strangest aspect of the MOB narrative - the premature talking of marriage! Was it just me, or did this seem mightily strange?
Keep in mind that many men do not have the time nor money for repeated trips. This approach is recommended for those planning on selecting a fiancee after only one or two meetings. It was referred to as "converse in reverse." A couple talks about life options such as number of children, stay home or work, MIL moves to America, etc. rather than simply have a good time together and see what develops. It happened a lot.
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Gator - "Keep in mind that many men do not have the time nor money for repeated trips."
LOL! A man in such a situation, should never try in the first place. This is much more complicated than it appears on the surface. Don't think otherwise! Don't be a mule!
I am just now beginning to take the whole thing seriously. My "hunch" is that this is near hopeless in Ukraine - difficult in Russian and White Russia. If it were not for a good Plan B, I would feel somewhat defeated:)
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Gator - "Keep in mind that many men do not have the time nor money for repeated trips."
LOL! A man in such a situation, should never try in the first place. This is much more complicated than it appears on the surface. Don't think otherwise! Don't be a mule!
I am just now beginning to take the whole thing seriously. My "hunch" is that this is near hopeless in Ukraine - difficult in Russian and White Russia. If it were not for a good Plan B, I would feel somewhat defeated:)
Whoa riv ,
Hopeless in Ukraine?
Sounds like some Movie title. :)
You make good points about certain cities or locations with a larger MOB presence possibly tainting expectations or attitudes (on both sides)
and about people first looking into this not generally taking all the hurdles into account.
Like every scenario there is a flip side though?
My recent experience.
It is possible to navigate the MOB scene, in a city well known as scam center anymore.
In facet I just dint find it really that difficult, it just took approaching it without expectation,just like a local date, and neither closing ones eyes, blindly, or being paranoid.
On the ground there, I do see where agency women, particularly in such a city, often have a few things going on, in either preconceived notions, or simply agenda that would make things challenging.
Also see thousands of normal women, single, without any of those issues, that simply have a hard time finding marriage minded local men, so are open to meeting a foreign guy.A rel;tivelty normal m,an going there, with good intentions amnd serious about a relationship with its intent to ultimately lead to marriage and family, still would be in huge demand.
Is it complicated? yes and no.
Yes many men don't look into the real difficulties,living in a fantasy, and under estimate the whole thing. Its not picking out a puppy.
However its far from hopeless?
It would be incredible hard for a normal man, truly interested in relationship /marriage to live there a decent amount of time and not end up married.
So just how complex is that?Its not, its just the understandable constraints most men traveling on are under changes the dynamic.
I'm not sure it swings it all the way to hopeless,or even to dire.
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Further she said that during Soviet times, rather than thinking we were stupid . . . they actually felt sorry for us. This was because they were drilled constantly in school about how lucky they were to be living in the greatest country in the world, and that in America most were poor and only the few rich had a good life.
very different from my experience growing up in the USSR...
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Gator - "Keep in mind that many men do not have the time nor money for repeated trips."
LOL! A man in such a situation, should never try in the first place.
why not? aren't they entitled to be happily married just because they have a job that limits their time for travel to another country? You chose to go about your search the long and hard way, learning the ropes, making your own mistakes and learning from them. Eventually, if you keep going you may find a good woman for you. However, I personally know men who have jobs that don't allow them getting away for prolonged trips, yet they are happily married and having kids with RW... I think that they would strongly disagree with your statement above.
This is much more complicated than it appears on the surface. Don't think otherwise!
Anything you are not an expert in will appear to be complicated whether it's business, technology or relationships. Once you become an expert in this persuite it will seem quite easy to you. However you need to be prepaired to invest time and money in becoming one. Also you have a limitation of not being a native Russian or Ukrainian speaker. Being one really does make a big difference.
... My "hunch" is that this is near hopeless in Ukraine - difficult in Russian and White Russia. If it were not for a good Plan B, I would feel somewhat defeated:)
My experience is more like: Somewhat difficult in Ukraine, very easy in Russia and easy in White Russia (Belarus)
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A month or so past the one year mark that my Gal has been here with me in USA.
A couple of new things recently.
For the first time ever, we bickered frequently during one day.
Just the trivial stuff: That's not where the dish towel goes.
Why is the TV so loud. Why did you forget to get milk.
But we mostly just ignored each others caustic remarks,
and the next days were back to serene bliss.
Also, had our first 'married sex' this week.
Her 'days' were due to start any time; man here doing some backhoe work;
he had to leave for 10 minutes and then we would be busy with him
for several hours; we ran into house undressing as we moved; she was pretty excited about us doing this for first time; it worked. She told her female friends about it on Skype.
TMI for you? Poo Poo Poo
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Gal accepted the Graduate Teaching Assistantship. I didn't really want her to accept it because it will really cut into our 'together' time, but I didn't protest too much.
She pretty pumped about it. Excited about having an office at the University, even one that is shared with 3 other GTAs.
Pays over $1500 a month for 9 months. Yes, piddly money for our comparison, but her 'working friends' back home are incredulous that she gets this much for 15 hours of work a week when most of them are getting less (some less than half) for 40+ hours a week. All tuition is paid for GTAs also, but she already had a Tuition Scholarship.
I told her 'only in America' could she get all her education expenses paid and also get paid for going to school.
She said, 'not true' as she (along with other top students) got 'spending money' stipends during their entire 5 years at university.
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I had read a lot of info about the Student Visas before Gal applied.
Knew there were restrictions against such holders working in USA.
Some exceptions for limited on campus work.
With her Graduate Teaching Assistantship, the University knew well how to follow the rules, and they filled out several forms which we took to Social Security office to apply for her SS card.
Gal said, once I get the SS card, I can probably work anywhere.
I agreed saying how could our government keep track of this.
Yes, I know if SS were withheld, government could identify unauthorized
employers, but are they really going to track this?
But, today her SS card arrived in mail.
On the face are typed the words "VALID FOR WORK ONLY WITH DHS AUTHORIZATION."
So that will pretty much nix it for working for any place 'Off Campus.'
Which is great by me.
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They are called TAs, not GTAs. Everyone assumes they are in graduate school.
$1500 a month? Not bad. Try $250 a month. Given that was 30 so years ago.
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The testing never ends for my Gal.
Before she could have spoken interaction with students as GTA (that's the official name here) she had to get a passing score on TSE (Test of Spoken English) or SPEAK test.
She passed this test. If she had not passed, she would still keep her GTA but would only be doing grading, etc., until subsequent passing.
I told her she would pass this test because I understood her well. But she was dubious, saying that parents always understand their young children's gibberish when no one else does, simply because they spend so much more time with them.
[Note: I am going to suggest the University change from GTA to GTO. Sounds a bit more racy. I had one once (GTO that is) in my wilder youth.]
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The testing never ends for my Gal.
Before she could have spoken interaction with students as GTA (that's the official name here) she had to get a passing score on TSE (Test of Spoken English) or SPEAK test.
My, things have really, really, REALLY changed. :P
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Small world.
Earlier this evening, Gal and I went to a picnic thrown by a company I have done some consulting for.
As we were sitting BSing with several people at a picnic table, one guy told about his grandmother recently feeding him borscht and kasha.
This was before he even knew that my Gal was from Ukraine.
My Gal about fell off her bench as she had just made these two things yesterday.
Turns out his grandparents came from western Ukraine.
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People have been immigrating from Russia and Ukraine to the USA and Canada for centuries so it shouldn't come as a surprise to any one that somebody's grandparents or great-grandparents are from that part of the world. Some of the household names with Ukrainian/Russian/Belorussian roots are Silvester Stalone (grandpa from Odessa), Kirk Douglas (not his real name), George Gershwin, Ralph Lauren (not his real name) and many, many more.
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Some of the household names with Ukrainian/Russian/Belorussian roots are Silvester StalLone (grandpa from Odessa)
On his mother's side (25%) ;):
Stallone's father was born in Gioia del Colle, Apulia, Italy, and emigrated to the United States as a child. Stallone's mother is of half Russian Jewish and half French descent.
Michael Sylvester Gardenzio Stallone: Stallone is Italian for "stallion".
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People have been immigrating from Russia and Ukraine to the USA and Canada for centuries so it shouldn't come as a surprise to any one that somebody's grandparents or great-grandparents are from that part of the world.
No, neither she nor I were surprised about meeting someone with that background.
It was more the hearing about Borscht and kasha that was sort of funny given that she had just made those same two dishes the day before.
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Gal was quite worried about starting graduate school . . . the difficulty of the course content.
She had said that most of the other students would be fresh off their studies, whereas her knowledge was from several years ago. (She had sat in on two courses Spring semester and two more Summer semester).
I told her that was true, but offsetting that would be fact she was probably a lot more serious than majority of the other new grad students. I knew from her year in Intensive English that she would devote a lot of time to homework, etc.
Now, after two weeks into the first semester, she is feeling much better about her chances, and realizes I was right.
She is a leader in answering questions posed by professors, presenting solved problems on the board, etc. Other classmates are turning to her for help, etc.
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Another good happenstance . . .
Gal really wanted to enter the masters program, but kept repeating that she would look so odd in a class of 20 somethings, since she was 40 something.
I told her that, unlike Ukraine, USA has a rich tradition of older folks getting university degrees of all levels. And she has noticed a few students in her classes who appear to be older than 20s.
This week, we went to a party at one of my friend's home.
There we met a woman who just finished her PhD at age 63.
She gave Gal a big pep talk, and Gal was really beaming about this situation which has calmed her down a lot about this.
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My wife just received her Masters in Science from Albany Medical School. She was the second oldest (45) and couldn't care less.
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My wife just received her Masters in Science from Albany Medical School.
:clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping:
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Thank you very much. Very proud of her. :thumbsup:
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Graduate math courses.
Modern Algebra. Sounds like an updated course for 7th graders; right?
Well let me tell you this stuff is 10 floors over my head.
Graph Theory. Sounds like fun in a drawing course; right?
Holy Sheet.
And Real Analysis. There is nothing real about it. It is totally unreal.
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My Gal has been telling me for a month or so that she was going to take me out to most expensive restaurant in town (and pay herself) when she got her first paycheck. Some sort of a tradition as I understood it.
Finally, we got around to it a couple of days ago.
As we were about ready to leave, she was on Skype talking to her parents.
I came up behind her and asked her to stand so they could see us together 'all dressed up.'
I asked her if she had told them the 'arrangement.'
She said she had told them about us going to restaurant.
I said, no I mean about you paying.
So she told them.
The father frowned and said: The man must pay.
The mother said: No, she must pay . . . then she added . . . and you must buy him a very expensive gift also.
I got a big kick out of it; the role reversal idea and that the mother was pushing for the 'big' expenditure and the father was not.
Anyway, I told my Gal to forget about buying me a gift, expensive or not.
I really have everything I need, and no one can ever seem to buy me what I like, even when I need something.
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People have been immigrating from Russia and Ukraine to the USA and Canada for centuries so it shouldn't come as a surprise to any one that somebody's grandparents or great-grandparents are from that part of the world. Some of the household names with Ukrainian/Russian/Belorussian roots are Silvester Stalone (grandpa from Odessa), Kirk Douglas (not his real name), George Gershwin, Ralph Lauren (not his real name) and many, many more.
Are you sure it is Silvester Stallone not Arnold Schwarzenegger? There is a wax museum in Odessa (been there) including Arnold Schwarzenegger because of his grandparents coming from Odessa,
Kirk Douglas' real name is: Issur Danielovitch - whose parents came from Gomel, Belarus
Ralph Lifschitz is Ralph Lauren's real name - a Jewish immigrants from Belarus
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My wife just received her Masters in Science from Albany Medical School. She was the second oldest (45) and couldn't care less.
Age is just a number when taking University course. I am 44 years old, and am thinking of taking up 2nd Bachelor's degree next year - online course.
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Age is just a number when taking University course. I am 44 years old, and am thinking of taking up 2nd Bachelor's degree next year - online course.
I wis you well, but the difference is that English is your first language. Try getting your Masters degree in Russia (in Russian!) and then see how you feel.
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Another reason to be for Romney.
He proposes granting permanent residency to foreigners pursuing advanced degrees in math, science and engineering.
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Another reason to be for Romney.
He proposes granting permanent residency to foreigners pursuing advanced degrees in math, science and engineering.
+1
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I like to remain fairly anonymous here, but I decided 'what the heck,'
I would finally show you all what I look like in a video.
http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/ItXKGyO6cRA?rel=0 (http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/ItXKGyO6cRA?rel=0)
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I would finally show you all what I look like in a video.
No WONDER you do so well - you've still got a full head of hair !! :D
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In my comments in another thread about our Thanksgiving dinner, I forgot to mention a very important thing.
In mid-meal, my Gal looked me in eye with a very serious look on her face and said:
"I really am thankful to you for what you have done for me. You have helped me to come to USA and do things that I never would have thought possible and make a very pleasant life for me this past year and a half."
I was quite touched and told her that this day was a good day to say and hear such words. Not the traditional Thanksgiving thoughts, but very appropriate to the situation.
Am just wondering how many of the rest of the guys here have ever gotten a sincere thanks and words of appreciation!!
OK, enough of the web for awhile . . . the Michigan - Ohio State game is already underway.
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In my comments in another thread about our Thanksgiving dinner, I forgot to mention a very important thing.
In mid-meal, my Gal looked me in eye with a very serious look on her face and said:
"I really am thankful to you for what you have done for me. You have helped me to come to USA and do things that I never would have thought possible and make a very pleasant life for me this past year and a half."I was quite touched and told her that this day was a good day to say and hear such words. Not the traditional Thanksgiving thoughts, but very appropriate to the situation.
Am just wondering how many of the rest of the guys here have ever gotten a sincere thanks and words of appreciation!!
OK, enough of the web for awhile . . . the Michigan - Ohio State game is already underway.
:o
That's interesting. Just an observation. In one of your miltiple threads about women-parasites you told that:
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14485.0
"As most of you who have read my thread know, the Gal living with me obtained a large life insurance settlement from the death of her executive husband. As such her existing behavior is completely different from the typical FSUW with respect to money (she needs and wants nothing from me of a financial nature); but without this money her behavior would probably be the same as a typical FSUW.]
So, did you bring her from Ukraine or she came with another American man from whom she obtained that large life insurance.
From what I know life insurance in the FSU haven't been that popular recently and what you can get is mostly about $3000-$5000 which is not that large sum on which the FSU woman can come in the US and be independent.
If she came with another AM what was she thanking you for?
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:P
In mid-meal, my Gal looked me in eye with a very serious look on her face and said:
"I really am thankful to you for what you have done for me. You have helped me to come to USA and do things that I never would have thought possible and make a very pleasant life for me this past year and a half."
Just curious ML...what did you thank your gal for???
the fringe benefits??? :P
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:popcorn:
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In my comments in another thread about our Thanksgiving dinner, I forgot to mention a very important thing.
In mid-meal, my Gal looked me in eye with a very serious look on her face and said:
"I really am thankful to you for what you have done for me. You have helped me to come to USA and do things that I never would have thought possible and make a very pleasant life for me this past year and a half."
I was quite touched and told her that this day was a good day to say and hear such words. Not the traditional Thanksgiving thoughts, but very appropriate to the situation.
Am just wondering how many of the rest of the guys here have ever gotten a sincere thanks and words of appreciation!!
OK, enough of the web for awhile . . . the Michigan - Ohio State game is already underway.
In my experience it is very rare. Just not part of their culture. I should add that usually the thanks and appreciation is expressed in actions rather than words. It is also rare to hear an apology. Nevertheless, once you get to undestand the culture you can sense or see the appreciation in other ways.
You are very fortunate. I seems that your gal has adopted much of the American culuture while she is here.
Visilisa........... I suspect that her ex husband was working for a multinational corporation with normal life insurance benefits rather than the customary Ukraine benefits. ML can answer your question if he wishes. But this is one explanation.
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Am just wondering how many of the rest of the guys here have ever gotten a sincere thanks and words of appreciation!!
I can relate to this nice moment. Especially since we are now together over ten years. We landed at JFK on Thanksgiving weekend, 2002. The "changes" over that span of time have been profound for her. And while they do not come often, her occasional words of thanks are quite meaningful - and much appreciated. I, on the other hand, thank her more often for what she's brought into my life.
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Am just wondering how many of the rest of the guys here have ever gotten a sincere thanks and words of appreciation!!
Every day (well almost every day).
At Thanksgiving dinner, we went around the table, and my stepdaughter, who is rather reserved if not shy, thanked me for bringing happiness to her mama. The stepson was theatrical in his thanks but it was sincere. Mama expressed her gratitude about much (health, family, .....and me). Only I expressed thanks for the food among my many other blessings.
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We just watched the movie Birthday Girl on DVD.
We both were very depressed by the movie but for different reasons.
As a man, I was depressed seeing another man treated so terribly . . . and all for a woman as usual.
Gal was depressed because she thinks viewers will assume that many (most) FSUW would do what the gal played by Nicole did.
I only got it because it was on sale at WalMart for $3 and I thought I had heard some good reviews about it; maybe I was mistaken.
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In my experience it is very rare. Just not part of their culture. I should add that usually the thanks and appreciation is expressed in actions rather than words. It is also rare to hear an apology. Nevertheless, once you get to undestand the culture you can sense or see the appreciation in other ways.
You are very fortunate. I seems that your gal has adopted much of the American culuture while she is here.
Visilisa........... I suspect that her ex husband was working for a multinational corporation with normal life insurance benefits rather than the customary Ukraine benefits. ML can answer your question if he wishes. But this is one explanation.
CallMissile, thank you for this post.
It bring me more information about my present story.
More thanks by action rather than by words, it is the culture. But for our culture it is sometimes frustrating.
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Visilisa........... I suspect that her ex husband was working for a multinational corporation with normal life insurance benefits rather than the customary Ukraine benefits. ML can answer your question if he wishes. But this is one explanation.
This is all covered thoroughly earlier in this same thread.
Her deceased husband was a business colleague of mine working as a senior executive for the Ukrainian branch of a large Belgium firm. Several hundred thousand dollar life insurance payout from company policy.
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Gal and I went to 'Lincoln' movie this afternoon.
Can't really recommend it for FSU gals and, despite it's rave reviews, can't even recommend it to native USA folks.
The whole movie was just about the manipulations leading up to House of Representative passing of 13th Amendment. I think it is really of interest only to those really into political science, and those interested in the behind the scenes look at how political deals are made; which was just as sickening then as it is now.
I would much rather see a movie that covers the broad spectrum of Lincoln's life from childhood on to the presidency. I will have to try to dig up those 3 or so movies made last century that were along those lines.
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Earlier I wrote some comments about my Gal's graduate math courses; Real Analysis, Modern Algebra and Linear Algebra, and I noted how Real Analysis (and the others as well) are actually unreal.
One of our neighbors was asking Gal if she could use calculators in exams.
The neighbor was mystified when she answered; No, because there aren't even any numbers.
And even my Engineering Professor friend (who had tons of Calculus courses) had no idea what was involved in these graduate math courses.
I doubt more than 1-2 persons here know any of this stuff, as shown below.
First is the entire Exam 2 for Real Analysis, and second is the solution to Question 3 of this exam.
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Earlier I wrote some comments about my Gal's graduate math courses; Real Analysis, Modern Algebra and Linear Algebra, and I noted how Real Analysis (and the others as well) are actually unreal.
One of our neighbors was asking Gal if she could use calculators in exams.
The neighbor was mystified when she answered; No, because there aren't even any numbers.
And even my Engineering Professor friend (who had tons of Calculus courses) had no idea what was involved in these graduate math courses.
I doubt more than 1-2 persons here know any of this stuff, as shown below.
First is the entire Exam 2 for Real Analysis, and second is the solution to Question 3 of this exam.
These are typical higher math questions for engineering students in Russia. (and math students, obviously) if your Gal graduated in any Engineering subject she has studied this already .
(Trust me, I have done that)
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The worst thing EVER is theoretical physics (not to be confused with any applied physics). Do you know if she is going to study that too?
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The worst thing EVER is theoretical physics (not to be confused with any applied physics). Do you know if she is going to study that too?
No plans that I know of . . . hopefully.
And, she was not a math or engineering major for first degree in Ukraine, so I have no idea how she is able to survive in these graduate math courses.
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No plans that I know of . . . hopefully.
And, she was not a math or engineering major for first degree in Ukraine, so I have no idea how she is able to survive in these graduate math courses.
To some people, math comes quite naturally. They pick it up very quickly. I remeber a Lebanese gal in my Algebra 2 class in high school. She was an absolute wizard at math.
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No plans that I know of . . . hopefully.
And, she was not a math or engineering major for first degree in Ukraine, so I have no idea how she is able to survive in these graduate math courses.
She is clearly a very intelligent and determined woman. And tolerant (easy going?) too since she can cope in no bread/folgers cofee environment lol
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She is clearly a very intelligent and determined woman. And tolerant (easy going?) too since she can cope in no bread/folgers cofee environment lol
Just to show you how tolerant 'I' am; 8)
I picked up some crescent rolls for our home cooked Thanksgiving meal on the Sunday after Thanksgiving (we had gone to a restaurant on Thanksgiving day.)
OK sure, I show signs of weakness once in a while.
I need to work on that.
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Just to show you how tolerant 'I' am; 8)
I picked up some crescent rolls for our home cooked Thanksgiving meal on the Sunday after Thanksgiving (we had gone to a restaurant on Thanksgiving day.)
OK sure, I show signs of weakness once in a while.
I need to work on that.
Don't make a habit of this!!! :o you know the saying "give an inch...." ;D
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Pretty soon she'll have you up to Starbucks Premium.
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We just watched the movie Birthday Girl on DVD.
We both were very depressed by the movie but for different reasons.
As a man, I was depressed seeing another man treated so terribly . . . and all for a woman as usual.
Gal was depressed because she thinks viewers will assume that many (most) FSUW would do what the gal played by Nicole did.
I only got it because it was on sale at WalMart for $3 and I thought I had heard some good reviews about it; maybe I was mistaken.
Are you a giraffe?
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Are you a giraffe?
Not as far as I am able to discern.
But, if I were asked this question in Russian . . . I might say 'yes'; as the gal did when asked in English.
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After a month of tragedy; scammers here, scammers there, scammers everywhere; weird newcomers here, and other unpleasant happenings;
how about some good news??
My Gal just received her grades from first semester in graduate math program:
All A's or 4.0 GPA !! :D :clapping:
She really had to work super hard, and even started out with a C--- on the first exam in one course. She followed that up with a 100 on the second exam in that course. That made it 'touch and go' as to whether she could pull out an A in that course. She did; but it must have been just barely.
And more good news: She informed me she doesn't want to leave town this Christmas . . . instead staying home and having sex in every room of the house.
When I was gone one day, she even wheel barrowed in 5 loads of firewood.
When I pulled into garage, she pointed to it and said: I guess you know what we will use that for!!
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After a month of tragedy; scammers here, scammers there, scammers everywhere; weird newcomers here, and other unpleasant happenings;
how about some good news??
My Gal just received her grades from first semester in graduate math program:
All A's or 4.0 GPA !! :D :clapping:
She really had to work super hard, and even started out with a C--- on the first exam in one course. She followed that up with a 100 on the second exam in that course. That made it 'touch and go' as to whether she could pull out an A in that course. She did; but it must have been just barely.
And more good news: She informed me she doesn't want to leave town this Christmas . . . instead staying home and having sex in every room of the house.
When I was gone one day, she even wheel barrowed in 5 loads of firewood.
When I pulled into garage, she pointed to it and said: I guess you know what we will use that for!!
I envy you. When my Gal gets here I will have to put her through the firewood test. LOL
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I reported earlier (similar to some other guys) that my Gal is in the habit of asking me what I want to eat and then, after I suggest something, she tells me what we are actually going to eat.
Note: This doesn't cause friction because I mostly don't care, and we even joke around about this.
Yesterday, she raised the bar. She said what do you want; and even before I could say one word, she said, "Doesn't matter, we are going to have X."
I was on opposite side of a large room at the time. I got a shocked look on my face and started hurriedly toward her. She screamed and ran toward the opposite end house with her scream changing to giggles and laughter, as I caught her, lifted her off her feet and swung her around.
A good time was had by all.
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7 Degrees of Freedom or whatever.
Gal and I went to big New Years Eve bash at major hotel.
Meal, drinks, live band, dancing, horns, hats, special activities at midnight, etc.
We were the first to sit at 10 person table.
There by ourselves for 10 minutes or so.
Then a group of 8 arrived.
Man and wife (late 50s) from Lvov and their early 30s something daughter and her Ukrainian husband, and 4 other neighbors of theirs.
Yes, I know it is not uncommon to meet people from Ukraine . . . but to have them appear at our table from a random seating . . . . :D And this is not a large city.
The Ukrainians (the younger man with his parents also) had all gotten immigration visas back in the 1990s based on claims of religious persecution.
But based on their drinking and dancing, their religion didn't prohibit either.
The older woman a typical chunky babushka. The younger about 5 feet 10, 125 pounds and a real looker with her boobs just barely stashed away. Her husband had a bad leg or some such; so I was 'forced' to dance a few rounds with the tall slender gal. Luckily she possessed my favorite body style, or else I would have refused.
My Gal looked super great in short black sleeveless dress, tall high heeled boots, and pearls. She worried the dress might be too short (mid thigh); but then several other gals showed up with dresses just barely covering their crotches.
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Forgot to mention; the older woman told that she was a teacher of English and Russian while living in Ukraine.
In my 'happy state,' I sought to impress her by saying: "Uno, Dos, Tres, Cuatro."
She looked at me slightly bewildered and said: "What is that?"
Another person at the table said: "That sounds like Spanish."
And so it was.
Me: "Seems like it's time for another drink." :-[
My Gal was probably thinking: "Is this the time to announce that I really don't know this guy."
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In Jone's latest thread, I wrote that I would not spend much time with a volatile woman.
However, sometimes a person can be a little too calm and not tell about something that bothered them.
My Gal is the ultimate opposite of volatile . . . which is great for me, except if it can lead to more serious problems from keeping things 'bottled up.'
A couple of days ago, my Gal was looking in the grocery store for a kind of herring for the holidays.
I told her that many in USA (let's don't quarrel about how many) looked at herring with some disdain and considered it a 'trash' fish; and that I wouldn't be eating it.
We finally saw the herring she wanted. Another man was nearby and looking at us intently as we viewed the various brands.
I said to him: "She is from Ukraine and needs this for some special holiday dish."
I meant nothing about what I had told her earlier about our (my) view of it as trash fish; but rather just trying to satisfy his curiosity about why it was being purchased.
But just today, she and I were doing our exercise Mall walk with a couple of other people and the special Orthodox Christmas dishes came up for discussion.
My Gal told the above story and how I was indicating to the man that she was from some 3rd world country inhabited by savages who ate inferior food.
I was totally shocked because that was not my intent at all; and I felt terrible that she had been thinking this for 2-3 days without telling me of her hurt feelings.
I immediately told that it was an incorrect interpretation; and then waited until she and I were alone to further express my regret and my sincere apologies.
It was pretty hard for her to buy into I suspect: The idea that I had said we viewed it as trash fish . . . then told the man that she wanted it because she was from Ukraine . . . and still not mean that I was denigrating her and the people in her country.
Anyway, she said OK.
And I asked her to please ask for further clarification in the future when it seemed to her I had implied anything bad, so that I could try to set the record straight.
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My Gal told the above story and how I was indicating to the man that she was from some 3rd world country inhabited by savages who ate inferior food.
Welcome to the fun...
I was totally shocked because that was not my intent at all; and I felt terrible that she had been thinking this for 2-3 days without telling me of her hurt feelings.
I immediately told that it was an incorrect interpretation; and then waited until she and I were alone to further express my regret and my sincere apologies.
It was pretty hard for her to buy into I suspect: The idea that I had said we viewed it as trash fish . . . then told the man that she wanted it because she was from Ukraine . . . and still not mean that I was denigrating her and the people in her country.
Anyway, she said OK.
Bwahahahah....
And I asked her to please ask for further clarification in the future when it seemed to her I had implied anything bad, so that I could try to set the record straight.
You'll have better luck with the Patented Vulcan Neck Grab... 8) apply liberally for a healthy relationship.
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And I asked her to please ask for further clarification in the future when it seemed to her I had implied anything bad, so that I could try to set the record straight.
Did I read "....set the record straight" ?!
:ROFL:
First, she was annoyed about not readily finding salty fish equal to the quality she enjoys in Ukraine. Second, she probably is an intuitive rather than analytical thinker even though she can analyze. Third, you have a history with her. Fourth, you were talking with a stranger. The effect of the four factors prompted the impression that you were insulting her country and her traditions. Do you really believe that an explanation will change her mind? :)
At best you can create some doubt about your intentions. FSUW have much pride, hence their concern with how they look. So next time be more careful.
I have had the similar experience many times, insulting her even though that was neither my intention nor belief. I explain, and then ask her to give me the benefit of the doubt, yet I know I have FUed, so I ask her to forgive me. Then I promise to try to be better. However, you and I will do it again.
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I immediately told that it was an incorrect interpretation; and then waited until she and I were alone to further express my regret and my sincere apologies.
The best apology would be the promise to eat the whole herring in public :) She will not believe in it, of course, but appreciate for sure. :)
Herring was a trash fish in SU, actually, because it was the cheapest. Nevertheless, many FSUW like it, just like kids like the trash fast food from MacDonald.
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The cultural shock is often expressed in differences between
two countries.
Unfortunately they can quickly expressed (or being understood) as superior or inferior qualities.
I have fought with my girl too ML and now i am very cautious to NOT hurt her and avoid the cultural match : this in our country considered as low quality or ....
And the cultural match can happen very quickly. Difficult thing to manage ! Minefield !
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I said to him: "She is from Ukraine.....................
I don't need to read further, you've insulted her to the extent it will never be forgotten, never. You may obtain something which vaguely resembles forgiveness but it will never be forgotten..........ever.
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Thanks for all the helpful hints guys.
But, didn't I make clear that:
1) My Gal is different
2) Our relationship is different
3) I am near perfect
4) She is very forgiving
5) And many more such 8)
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Thanks for all the helpful hints guys.
But, didn't I make clear that:
1) My Gal is different
2) Our relationship is different
3) I am near perfect
4) She is very forgiving
5) And many more such 8)
...and you're also 90 years old, so she'll probably forgive even your dribbling when in company! :ROFL:
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Ha! You are just jealous that I can attract a woman half my age. ;D
For you, that might be 'jail bait.'
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Ha! You are just jealous that I can attract a woman half my age. ;D
At the moment, seeing I'm single, that is all too true :'(
For you, that might be 'jail bait.'
Thanks for the compliment, but I'm about twenty years too old for that scenario. >:D
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My Gal was interested in going to an Orthodox church today to 'get the water.'
(Last year she never mentioned wanting to do this.)
I checked the phone book and there was only one such church listed.
I called it and they told me they had celebrated the 'water day' a couple of weeks ago under the 'new calendar.'
I wanted to say: "How can you claim to be Orthodox, if you don't follow the Orthodox calendar?" . . . but I didn't.
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My Gal was interested in going to an Orthodox church today to 'get the water.'
(Last year she never mentioned wanting to do this.)
I checked the phone book and there was only one such church listed.
I called it and they told me they had celebrated the 'water day' a couple of weeks ago under the 'new calendar.'
I wanted to say: "How can you claim to be Orthodox, if you don't follow the Orthodox calendar?" . . . but I didn't.
I know, very annoying.
Around where I live there are two: one follows Western calendar and provides services in English, another follows Eastern calendar and provides services in Old Church Slavonic or English. I think they belong to different church authorities.
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I wanted to say: "How can you claim to be Orthodox, if you don't follow the Orthodox calendar?" . . . but I didn't.
Ranetka +1
ML, your gf was right - in the majority of cases the Orthodox events stick to the old calendar, i.e. the Epiphany supposed to be on 19th of January. You simply choose to call to the "wrong" church which followed western style.
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A crisis is brewing !!! :o
One of our neighbors proudly presented us with a fresh loaf of labeled 'Ukrainian Bread' that she found at a local grocery store (on opposite side of town from us that we never go to).
Wow, was it very good tasting; even better than anything I had tasted in Ukraine. My Gal wouldn't go that far; but she admitted it was very good.
Tastes great with just butter on it. We used it as dessert tonight. A very heavy, rich, full bodied taste. Has about 12 different grains in in; if the label is to be believed.
For those of you not 'in the know' from my previous posts in this thread, we had a small crisis in getting bread out of the daily menu during her first weeks here over a year and a half ago. Don't ask . . . read about it !!
She has been fully on board with the 'no bread' routine all this time . . .
but now we both know this great tasting stuff is just a few miles away.
Will this be the equivalent of other couple's arguments about money, sex, and in-laws? :-\
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Can anyone top this?
When I got up this morning, I found a 2 X 3 piece of paper on floor of my bedroom.
On it, written in red ink (that my Gal uses to grade papers) was written: "I love you Valentine."
Went into my private bathroom and found an identical note on my sink, then another on my toilet stool (lid down).
Gal heard me up (she was already studying), came into my bedroom, pushed me on bed and had her way with me. I tried to resist.
When I put my jeans on, found another note in the pocket and another in my shirt pocket.
Into kitchen and found another note on breakfast bar, another on dinning table, another in my big easy chair and another on seat of my car.
Came to office and one on floor inside door and another on my keyboard.
She won't tell me the total number yet to find.
Seems better than the big Valentine card I got her.
But, I have a diamond ring I am going to give her at dinner tonight.
No, not an engagement ring. It's actually called an Anniversary Ring, according to jewelry store people. Has 3 rows of diamonds, with 9 small diamonds in each row.
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Does your gal knows you talk to strangers about your sex life?
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Can anyone top this?
When I got up this morning, I found a 2 X 3 piece of paper on floor of my bedroom.
On it, written in red ink (that my Gal uses to grade papers) was written: "I love you Valentine."
Went into my private bathroom and found an identical note on my sink, then another on my toilet stool (lid down).
Gal heard me up (she was already studying), came into my bedroom, pushed me on bed and had her way with me. I tried to resist.
When I put my jeans on, found another note in the pocket and another in my shirt pocket.
Into kitchen and found another note on breakfast bar, another on dinning table, another in my big easy chair and another on seat of my car.
Came to office and one on floor inside door and another on my keyboard.
She won't tell me the total number yet to find.
Seems better than the big Valentine card I got her.
But, I have a diamond ring I am going to give her at dinner tonight.
No, not an engagement ring. It's actually called an Anniversary Ring, according to jewelry store people. Has 3 rows of diamonds, with 9 small diamonds in each row.
Good to love and to be loved.
:couple:
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Good to love and to be love.
:couple:
+1
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Does your gal knows you talk to strangers about your sex life?
He's been doing it for years - do you really think her's likely to stop anytime soon? :TMI:
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But, I have a diamond ring I am going to give her at dinner tonight.
No, not an engagement ring. It's actually called an Anniversary Ring, according to jewelry store people. Has 3 rows of diamonds, with 9 small diamonds in each row.
It's nice to know you are actually human and can do things that are not necessary.
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Does your gal knows you talk to strangers about your sex life?
Hopefully it turns her up even.
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Hopefully it turns her up even.
Turns her up or turns her on? ;D
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I said to him: "She is from Ukraine and needs this for some special holiday dish."
I often tell locals about specialty Ukrainian food. Must confess, I get extra kick when they get/look disgusted, for example when hearing about how pig's brain are sold and cooked >:D
As for "dirty fish" - tell this to people eating oysters and shrimps.
The bottom line - I would not be offended by the phrase like this one, but I may be offended by the tone it was said with.
The best apology would be the promise to eat the whole herring in public :) She will not believe in it, of course, but appreciate for sure. :)
Herring was a trash fish in SU, actually, because it was the cheapest. Nevertheless, many FSUW like it, just like kids like the trash fast food from MacDonald.
It wasn't herring. Most likely it was Merluccius (frozen) and Carassius because they have inferior quality/taste of meat and were the cheapest. Herring wasn't a trash food, it is and was a staple and "must have", with wide range of prices depending on how fresh (not half-rotten)/tasty and fatty (the more fat the better) the cured herring was.
I don't need to read further, you've insulted her to the extent it will never be forgotten, never. You may obtain something which vaguely resembles forgiveness but it will never be forgotten..........ever.
based on her reaction, I tend to agree. She may still remember it in 20 years. Moments like this are usually added to the "little black book" - the registry of insults, bad behavior, and "crimes."
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My Gal was interested in going to an Orthodox church today to 'get the water.'
(Last year she never mentioned wanting to do this.)
I checked the phone book and there was only one such church listed.
I called it and they told me they had celebrated the 'water day' a couple of weeks ago under the 'new calendar.'
I wanted to say: "How can you claim to be Orthodox, if you don't follow the Orthodox calendar?" . . . but I didn't.
Your gal was right, the local church was wrong. In Ukraine this holiday is celebrated on the 19th of January, and people go to the church "to get water" on the 19th. In my hometown you see the long queues of people lining outside of several churches.
For educational purposes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPyWdnSqR9g
- pay attention to the date this video was taken (probably in school it was on 18th because the 19th is the state holiday and school may be on recess), and the scenes from 3' 23"
That's what ML will need to do too, next year >:D ;D
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One of my Gal's distant relatives recently got immigrant visa for Ireland along with wife and 10 year old son.
After first day of school, the son came home and exclaimed: These girls are so ugly!
The parents told him when the time was ready, he could visit back in Ukraine and find a pretty gal.
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Today was semi-annual 'Health Fair' in town at the largest Mall.
Blood tests available for $30 with about 25 items tested which would cost around $300 if done individually at doctor's office.
Many free test such as blood pressure, EKGs, breathing, balance, check for skin cancers, etc.
Afterwards, we went for breakfast.
Gal said she was paying because it was Military Day or Man's Day.
I appreciated, even as I was on other side during 'Cold War.'
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There was recently a posting about a film clip of the Chinese gal coming to marry a WM. I wanted to put this in same thread, but couldn't find that thread, so I'm throwing this in here.
Just noticed in local paper that the University here is screening a film "In the Name of Love."
Apparently it won Best Documentary at some film festival. Write-up says it looks at social, political, economic and demographic challenges facing RW today, which leads them to seek western men.
Don't know if this film is balanced; or will it just be another sensationalized film ridiculing MOB participants.
Anyone seen it ?
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I googled it, and got a Filipino romantic drama film from 2011.
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inthenameoflovedoc.com/ (http://inthenameoflovedoc.com/)
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http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0405043/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0405043/)
If this the correct one.
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Here is the trailer from Boe's reference:
http://inthenameoflovedoc.com/trailer.php
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http://www.elenaroche.com/#!bio/aboutPage
Here is webpage of one of the gals.
The AM who married her wrote he wanted to find a gal to have a lot of kids. They have 5 !!!
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I love the part where the guy spent three hours 'talking' to Svetlana; a "thinking woman" while the message superimposed says "Svetlana does not speak English."
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I love the part where the guy spent three hours 'talking' to Svetlana; a "thinking woman" while the message superimposed says "Svetlana does not speak English."
I was laughing when I saw that as well. I was trying to picture this in my head, with the $15 an hour translator at the expensive cafe. :cluebat:
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Great times here.
This week we went to a concert performance of a national touring 'Elvis Tribute Group.' 4 singers covered the different stages of his evolving music.
Last week, we went to a performance of a touring group from Sweden who were 'ABBA Tribute Performers.'
In both cases the performers were excellent, and the costumes quite fantastic and seemingly accurate.
My Gal (and I) enjoyed both immensely and said she recognized almost all of the songs.
Great trips down memory lane. I highly recommend.
Afterward, (based on some comments the stage group said) I was intrigued enough to look up some info on the original ABBA group, particularly the dark haired gal whose mother was Norwegian and impregnated by a German soldier. Mother and daughter moved to Sweden to get away from being outcast at home.
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My Gal goes to University classes with mostly mid to late 20s guys and gals.
She has been picking up more and more slang from them.
For the past month or so I have been jotting down some items.
Freaked out, no big deal, chill out, hang out, jacked up, don't sweat it, ace the test, hit the books, biggie, screw up, rip off, fender bender, luck out, and dick head.
I told her not to be repeating the last one, and gave her a little explanation.
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My Gal goes to University classes with mostly mid to late 20s guys and gals.
She has been picking up more and more slang from them.
For the past month or so I have been jotting down some items.
..... and dick head.
I told her not to be repeating the last one, and gave her a little explanation.
Hmmm With your reported sex life I thought she'd know what it mean...
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Hmmm With your reported sex life I thought she'd know what it mean...
We use one of the alternative names . . .
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....... and dick head.
We use one of the alternative names . . .
Dildo head ?? >:D
GOB
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Dildo head ?? >:D
GOB
Richard Cranium ??
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The Visa Lottery winners were chosen in early May.
I had forgotten to check until last night.
My Gal did not win a slot.
I haven't told her yet because she is deep into studying for finals with a lot of stress, and doesn't need to hear it. Of course, she wasn't at all counting on being chosen, but still no need to hear disappointing news at this time.
She has had a much harder time this second semester in the graduate math program compared to last fall when she got all A's without too much trouble.
This semester she and most all students got C's or lower on the midterm for Real Analysis. There are only 7 students in the class.
So the professor gave a 'make-up take-home' test, and then averaged the scores. She got an A on that test, so has a B going into final.
So she could end up with A, B, or C depending on how the final goes.
The other two courses, Abstract Algebra and Linear Algebra, she has pretty much a solid A going into final. But she has put in a lot of work to be in this position, and has been studying virtually non-stop for the last week or so for finals; and regularly tells me how it is just too much material to keep in her head.
Final exam on each of Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday; then has to help grade final exams for undergraduate Differential Equations on Thursday and Friday.
She has kept up making good meals during this stressful period . . . but then she pretty much disappears back to her study room. I have even taken up washing the dishes which previously she would not let me do.
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For some reason :rolleyes: , I thought of you ML when I saw this video:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=8bf_1211407603 (http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=8bf_1211407603)
GOB
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What a week. Gal finished her own exams and then keeping busy for two days on grading exams for professors. 57 tests for one section of Differential Equations for one professor and 98 tests for two sections of same course for another.
I got the job of adding up all the points given for each of the individual questions and posting to grade sheets.
And I got to give back and shoulder rubs every 2 hours or so.
I am starting to be concerned about her desires to be a teacher because I see this mad dash periodically going on forever. Quite stressful for teachers and their helpers.
Before grading started, one professor told her to not be too 'harsh' in grading. This was a reflection of her grading on previous exams. Quite bothersome because it is just another indication of the declining standards throughout all of education.
Professors are under pressure from students, parents and administrators to keep watering down the material and standards. Previously this pressure was at high school level and has now moved up to university undergraduate level. Hopefully it will take a few more decades to reach graduate level.
And administrators under pressure to keep enrollment up and growing to bring in dollars to pay for it all.
Not good; and I don't agree with the push across America to have a higher percentage of persons receive a college education. It has just lead to the situation that a bachelors degree now is not much different than a high school degree for previous generations.
And, if you look at what universities are spending money on; it is quite alarming that an ever growing percentage of budget is spent on things having nothing to do with classroom teaching. I am not criticizing the research part . . . but rather the fluff that is required to meet the current and growing regulations at all levels for reporting, etc. Tons of money spent to make sure all students 'feel good' and feel that someone cares about them, and report all incidences where someone looks cross eyed at someone, and all incidences where someone is 'offended' by something.
The average student knows nothing about all of this (and cares less) that is going on for their supposed benefit; yet there are staffs numbering in the hundreds at major schools who are paid to do this and have meetings with other staff to discuss what they are doing, issue reports, send reports to various government agencies, etc.
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it is just another indication of the declining standards throughout all of education.
Professors are under pressure from students, parents and administrators to keep watering down the material and standards. Previously this pressure was at high school level and has now moved up to university undergraduate level. Hopefully it will take a few more decades to reach graduate level.
ML,
I've seen this worrisome phenomenon coming:
Report: Chinese Third-Graders Falling Behind U.S. High School Students in Math, Science
NEWS • High School • ISSUE 49•09 • Feb 27, 2013
CHESTNUT HILL, MA—According to an alarming new report published Wednesday by the International Association for the Evaluation of Educational Achievement, third-graders in China are beginning to lag behind U.S. high school students in math and science.
The study, based on exam scores from thousands of students in 63 participating countries, confirmed that in mathematical and scientific literacy, American students from the ages of 14 to 18 have now actually pulled slightly ahead of their 8-year-old Chinese counterparts.
“This is certainly a wake-up call for China,” said Dr. Michael Fornasier, an IEA senior fellow and coauthor of the report. “The test results unfortunately indicate that education standards in China have slipped to the extent that pre-teens are struggling to rank among even the average American high school student.”
“Simply put, how can these third-graders be expected to eventually compete in the global marketplace if they’re only receiving the equivalent of a U.S. high school education?” Fornasier added.
Fornasier stressed that while the gap is not yet dramatically sizable, it has widened over the past two years after American high schoolers tested marginally higher in algebra, biology, and chemistry than, shockingly, most of China’s 8- and 9-year-olds.
Fortunately, this was from The Onion, but still...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-chinese-thirdgraders-falling-behind-us-high,31464/
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Spring semester course grades just posted online.
She got A plus in two courses and A in the third course.
This for a gal who told me a few times during the semester that she might flunk out.
But man . . . what a lot of work she put in . . . and worry it caused me also.
She was shaking and turned a bit white after seeing the grades. Couldn't believe them. She said, "I couldn't get A plus because I know I made one mistake on a question for final." But probably she still did very good compared to other students.
We just now spent a couple of hours coming up with proposed schedule for her to take for Fall 2013 and Spring 2014. Sent via email to the Director of Graduate Program, and he may require her to come in for a talk before he approves. But with her great grades, I think they will see she knows what to take, etc.
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Spring semester course grades just posted online.
She got A plus in two courses and A in the third course.
This for a gal who told me a few times during the semester that she might flunk out.
But man . . . what a lot of work she put in . . . and worry it caused me also.
She was shaking and turned a bit white after seeing the grades. Couldn't believe them. She said, "I couldn't get A plus because I know I made one mistake on a question for final." But probably she still did very good compared to other students.
We just now spent a couple of hours coming up with proposed schedule for her to take for Fall 2013 and Spring 2014. Sent via email to the Director of Graduate Program, and he may require her to come in for a talk before he approves. But with her great grades, I think they will see she knows what to take, etc.
With all the stress off her shoulders I would hope you will reward her with a nice dinner out or something..... :)
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Congrats to Lady ML. That is an outstanding achievement.
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Spring semester course grades just posted online.
She got A plus in two courses and A in the third course.
This for a gal who told me a few times during the semester that she might flunk out.
But man . . . what a lot of work she put in . . . and worry it caused me also.
She was shaking and turned a bit white after seeing the grades. Couldn't believe them. She said, "I couldn't get A plus because I know I made one mistake on a question for final." But probably she still did very good compared to other students.
We just now spent a couple of hours coming up with proposed schedule for her to take for Fall 2013 and Spring 2014. Sent via email to the Director of Graduate Program, and he may require her to come in for a talk before he approves. But with her great grades, I think they will see she knows what to take, etc.
Congratulations on that good news, ML.
I have seen the same flair with my wife in terms of studying and ensuing achievements. Wifey studied and took all 4 CPA exams only once and got her certification on her first attempts. Whereas, a lot of folks had to take the exams numerous times before 'passing' each, much less all 4. Matter of fact, she just received a corporate letter marking her as *employee with high potential* and had her company scheduling her to a slew of seminars, conferences, programs, etc...to elevate her status in the company. She was in Vegas not too long ago for a couple of days, will be going to Chicago, then to NY, etc...for these shindigs.
Anyway, the point being is, I wondered before if this trait was still alive and well with newly arriving immigrants with a thirst for opportunities with their new-found lives in the good ol' USA. Apparently so.
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With all the stress off her shoulders I would hope you will reward her with a nice dinner out or something..... :)
Yes, there will be a lot of good times in the next week or so . . . until she goes back to Ukraine for a month.
Several dinners out.
I prepared her Fed and State tax returns where she got virtually all of her withholdings back. Just came into her bank account last few days.
So she tells me . . . I will treat you to a dinner at restaurant! :)
She thinks I had to do something special to get these refunds for her.
I told her I just filled out standard forms; but she thinks I must have had some special connections.
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Congrats to Lady ML. That is an outstanding achievement.
I have passed your words on to her. She is appreciative of all who congratulate her.
She is still sort of in a daze today about these grades.
Now . . . if I can just get her to not spend so much time studying next semester.
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She thinks I had to do something special to get these refunds for her.
I told her I just filled out standard forms; but she thinks I must have had some special connections.
Well nothing wrong with letting her think you are her clever man!!! ;)
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Anyway, the point being is, I wondered before if this trait was still alive and well with newly arriving immigrants with a thirst for opportunities with their new-found lives in the good ol' USA. Apparently so.
A combination of things I think.
Best opportunities here; but also 'most' of the immigrants and those on student visas are the cream of the crop from their various countries.
It is well documented that foreign persons dominate in receiving doctoral degrees from USA universities in science and engineering.
And I recall reading that foreigners receive more USA patents than USA citizens.
But none of this means that the average person in foreign countries is smarter than average USA citizen. We just happen to get mostly above average foreigners to immigrate to USA.
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I have passed your words on to her. She is appreciative of all who congratulate her.
She is still sort of in a daze today about these grades.
Now . . . if I can just get her to not spend so much time studying next semester.
My ex-wife was the same way when working on her associates. She spent all nights before an exam studying. I would tell her its not a good idea to taking an exam when you are exhausted...
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Spring semester course grades just posted online.
She got A plus in two courses and A in the third course.
This for a gal who told me a few times during the semester that she might flunk out.
But man . . . what a lot of work she put in . . . and worry it caused me also.
She was shaking and turned a bit white after seeing the grades. Couldn't believe them. She said, "I couldn't get A plus because I know I made one mistake on a question for final." But probably she still did very good compared to other students.
We just now spent a couple of hours coming up with proposed schedule for her to take for Fall 2013 and Spring 2014. Sent via email to the Director of Graduate Program, and he may require her to come in for a talk before he approves. But with her great grades, I think they will see she knows what to take, etc.
Congratulations to The Gal!!!!
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Congratulations on that good news, ML.
I have seen the same flair with my wife in terms of studying and ensuing achievements. Wifey studied and took all 4 CPA exams only once and got her certification on her first attempts. Whereas, a lot of folks had to take the exams numerous times before 'passing' each, much less all 4. Matter of fact, she just received a corporate letter marking her as *employee with high potential* and had her company scheduling her to a slew of seminars, conferences, programs, etc...to elevate her status in the company. She was in Vegas not too long ago for a couple of days, will be going to Chicago, then to NY, etc...for these shindigs.
Anyway, the point being is, I wondered before if this trait was still alive and well with newly arriving immigrants with a thirst for opportunities with their new-found lives in the good ol' USA. Apparently so.
GQ, this is great!! All 4 CPA exams passed at first try - your wife is truly the pride of immigrant RW community!!! Congratulations!
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All 4 exams for CPA is very good as they curve so only 5% on average do that.
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We won the "Powerball" during the Powerball drawing last night.
No, no . . . not the $580 million . . . the $4.00 for having number 11 as the Powerball.
We actually had 4 of the 5 regular numbers drawn, plus the powerball . . . but spread over 8 different tickets. We may try to cut and paste!
Ochka (previously My Gal) and I bought $20 of tickets around 6 PM.
We have only played twice. Last night and a few months back when the payout was up to $612 million or so.
We had some fun discussing what we would do with the money had we won the big prize.
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Ochka will be heading out on the big bird on Monday for a month in Ukraine.
She has been out shopping the past couple of days buying clothes to take for friends and family. And she also bought a lot back in March or so. She is going to pay $100 extra to airline for the second big suitcase; but she says even so, she is buying clothes at a fraction of the cost in Ukraine.
Figures she has maybe $2000 in clothes at Ukraine prices, and has paid just a little over $500 here. Got a lot of fall and winter clothes at sale prices.
She did the same last summer.
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An example of capitalism, perhaps by a former secretary of her school's communist party. You got to love it.
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Ochka (previously My Gal)
"Ochka" sounds strange. I've tried to find out where it could come from, only see curtailment in the russian word "Dev-ochka" (little girl). Or derivative from russian word which labels a person wearing glasses.
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"Ochka" sounds strange. I've tried to find out where it could come from, only see curtailment in the russian word "Dev-ochka" ( little girl)
Len-ochka, Ir-ochka, Marin-ochka, etc...
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Ochka (previously My Gal) and I bought $20 of tickets around 6 PM.
ML, what was wrong with MyGal, we loved her, she seemed to be a lovely girl, why to replace her with Ochka?! ;D
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"Ochka" sounds strange. I've tried to find out where it could come from, only see curtailment in the russian word "Dev-ochka" (little girl). Or derivative from russian word which labels a person wearing glasses.
Elementary, my dear Belvis! ;D It comes from
(http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQYCjokaKnHEupSlcDpkFrc6Khx3LbDNTZrO8SGwjei7ZcuU8EOWg)
Gal-ochka !!!
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Elementary, my dear Belvis! ;D It comes from
(http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQYCjokaKnHEupSlcDpkFrc6Khx3LbDNTZrO8SGwjei7ZcuU8EOWg)
Gal-ochka !!!
If she's Galina indeed, you're genius :)
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I think ML has posted before that Gal's name is not actually Galina.
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Len-ochka, Ir-ochka, Marin-ochka, etc...
And Svetochka, Natochka, Elenochka . . . .
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ML, what was wrong with MyGal, we loved her, she seemed to be a lovely girl, why to replace her with Ochka?! ;D
She was and is a lovely girl. Now we are moving toward more public intimacy . . . so upgrade from generic 'gal' (analagous to male 'guy') to
tender Ochka. 8)
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Today we saw a great new movie: "MUD."
Read great reviews so decided to give it a go.
I highly recommend it.
Ochka and I were just talking last week how singers now a day cannot just stand up there and sing. They have to have all the special effects to distract from fact they are not good singers.
The same can be said for movies that are filled with special effects.
MUD is a throwback to oldies where there are no special effects. Just the life of ordinary (some not quite ordinary) folks, with romance and mystery tossed in.
I think the two 12-14 year old boys will be Academy nominated for best supporting actors.
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We won the "Powerball" during the Powerball drawing last night.
No, no . . . not the $580 million . . . the $4.00 for having number 11 as the Powerball.
We actually had 4 of the 5 regular numbers drawn, plus the powerball . . . but spread over 8 different tickets. We may try to cut and paste!
Ochka (previously My Gal) and I bought $20 of tickets around 6 PM.
We have only played twice. Last night and a few months back when the payout was up to $612 million or so.
We had some fun discussing what we would do with the money had we won the big prize.
What a crock! Our winning number was 'stolen' by an 84 year old woman living down with Gator and Eduard. And, it is said, she already has a 'tin roof' over her head; so she has no need for this money.
Her net of $270 million will allow her to put on a gold roof.
Her son drove her to lottery headquarters in a Ford Focus.
I wonder if he will get an upgrade.
I haven't told the bad news to Ochka yet.
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Over the years, there have been discussions here that state the FSUW aren't much into being 'just friends' with WM.
If they see that the relationship is not progressing to romance, they just stop all contact and interactions. And, after an ongoing romance has ended, they are not interested as continuing as 'just friends.'
And this has been my general experience also.
I told earlier in this TR about meeting with several UW on one trip, following up with some of them, trips together, visits to me from one, etc.
Then, Ochka arrived two years ago. I kept up correspondence with 4 of the women that I spent time with. But, no 'face time' has occurred now for a couple of years.
So these 4 have trailed off or are close to that in terms of communication; following the standard for FSUW.
But interesting thing!!
Three married FSUW have continued to correspond with me.
Two of these women (not part of the 4 above) shared romance and intimacy with me, for one reason or another things never progressed, and they married other men. One married a UM and stayed in Ukraine, one married an AM and is now living in USA.
The other woman was married when I casually met her at a large party. No romance, but a lot of interaction as friends when I was in Ukraine.
I was just reminded of this seeming paradox today when I got an email from the woman who married the UM and is living in Ukraine. She attached pic of herself in short shorts, standing in garden in a very sexy pose.
It seems as though these married women are thinking somewhat of 'keeping their options open,' whereas the unmarried woman are not thinking along these lines.
These asymmetrical actions of married vs unmarried FSUW seems a little counter-intuitive . . . as I think about it.
Admittedly small sample size, but . . .
Note: These 3 women have not sent me overtly flirtatious messages, but with hints of flirtations, nice pictures of themselves, asking when I will be in such and such cities, if we will ever meet again, etc.
I also get correspondence from FSU business ladies that are strictly business, except for some standard family type chit, chat.
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ML,
I could have continued staying in contact with a few RW. However, since I have been claimed I would be risking my left testicle if discovered, so it is best for me to avoid any contact.
I did write one for the purpose of introducing her to someone else. That was it, and I don't miss them. Besides, my plate is full.
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My children live far away, and Ochka is still in Ukraine for a week and a half or so.
So here I am alone for father's day. A bachelor friend and myself were going to go out to eat together, but an emergency came up for him.
So, late on Saturday, I called a female business associate and invited her out. Told her I would be her 'father' for the day, even as she is slightly older than me.
Anyway, not to do with Ukrainian women, but we talked on and on for over 4 hours.
Interesting that when the topic of marriage came up, she (who has been divorced for over 20 years [two adult daughters]) said: I would never get married again!!
Said she enjoyed male companionship and would like to have a more steady boyfriend, but marriage would be a no no for her. She is a successful business executive with a substantial, but not huge, net worth.
There is such a focus on marriage on this forum, that it was quite unusual for me to hear from someone who was very opposed to it.
Of course, I fully realize that those 'in the game' on this forum are faced with the need for marriage to get the other person into their country.
Just wonder what would happen in 'this game' if the marriage requirement were to be dropped to get a 'significant other' into your country.
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Interesting that when the topic of marriage came up, she (who has been divorced for over 20 years [two adult daughters]) said: I would never get married again!!Said she enjoyed male companionship and would like to have a more steady boyfriend, but marriage would be a no no for her. She is a successful business executive with a substantial, but not huge, net worth.
I've been saying this about AW for years, but you hopeless "romantics" didn't believe me. Now you have it, so to speak, straight from the horse's mouth. :)
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Many AW in their 40s and upwards don't want a man other than on a part-time schedule to their liking (repair an appliance, date for a party, etc.). They believe anything with tires or balls will give them problems someday. :D
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There is such a focus on marriage on this forum, that it was quite unusual for me to hear from someone who was very opposed to it.
Duh! Internet survey showed that 100% of population uses Internet. :D
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Many AW in their 40s and upwards don't want a man other than on a part-time schedule to their liking (repair an appliance, date for a party, etc.). They believe anything with tires or balls will give them problems someday. :D
I am surprised this is the case. Marriage does have some economic benefits: rather than paying two mortgages (or rent), two set of utilities and the like, you can save quite a bit of money by sharing costs with someone else married or not. For many, this would mean being able to spend more elsewhere.
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Duh! Internet survey showed that 100% of population uses Internet. :D
Sorry, I didn't understand your humor; is it oriental based, or do I have to hold it up to a mirror, read it backwards, or what ?
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Sorry, I didn't understand your humor; is it oriental based, or do I have to hold it up to a mirror, read it backwards, or what ?
No, it is not oriental based - would be strange to look for advocates of single life in "find your future wife" forum, no?
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I originally wrote earlier: There is such a focus on marriage on this forum, that it was quite unusual for me to hear from someone who was very opposed to it.
Of course, I fully realize that those 'in the game' on this forum are faced with the need for marriage to get the other person into their country.
Just wonder what would happen in 'this game' if the marriage requirement were to be dropped to get a 'significant other' into your country.
= = = = = =
Ooooops responded:
Duh! Internet survey showed that 100% of population uses Internet. (http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/Smileys/default2/cheesy.gif)
. . . . would be strange to look for advocates of single life in "find your future wife" forum, no?
= = = = ==
In my first posting, I didn't mean to imply that it was unusual to find someone opposed to marriage ON THIS FORUM.
I was trying to contrast the focus on marriage here vs the non-focus on marriage out in 'the real world.'
But, of course as I elaborated, I know the reasons why.
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Many AW in their 40s and upwards don't want a man other than on a part-time schedule to their liking (repair an appliance, date for a party, etc.). They believe anything with tires or balls will give them problems someday. :D
Yes absolutely, they want a part time schedule in their 40s (but faithful 100% full time lover).
But after 50s, when childrens have gone, when alimonies have gone, when the population chart clearly shows that females really outnumber male, when they know that their pensions a decade later would be slim, they suddenly believe in the couple virtue :P
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Untrue. In Anglo North America, educated women with assets do not want a husband, the older they get. They may want a man for companionship, but not hanging around full time. :P
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Untrue. In Anglo North America, educated women with assets do not want a husband, the older they get. They may want a man for companionship, but not hanging around full time. :P
Sure, but what proportion of women would have significant assets and would not benefit from sharing expenses and having a second income? 20% 10% 5% Less?
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Sure, but what proportion of women would have significant assets and would not benefit from sharing expenses and having a second income? 20% 10% 5% Less?
It depends on what you consider significant.
I think you will be seeing more and more women taking this approach. Women seem to be outpacing men in colleges. We are already seeing women becoming the bigger bread winner.
It will be interesting to watch.
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It depends on what you consider significant.
I think you will be seeing more and more women taking this approach. Women seem to be outpacing men in colleges. We are already seeing women becoming the bigger bread winner.
It will be interesting to watch.
IMVHO, a woman (or man) who earns less than $100k and does not own their house outright would be better off married to someone who warns as much as they do or more.
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IMVHO, a woman (or man) who earns less than $100k and does not own their house outright would be better off married to someone who earns as much as they do or more.
You are only referring to economically in month to month sense . . . right?
But of course there are many other factors . . . such as the pain in a$$ factor that women (and men) are thinking of.
And, considerations of total wealth (not just current income), who will get it, etc.
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You are only referring to economically in month to month sense . . . right?
Yes, in the economic sense. Let's say a woman (or a man) earns $80k. What kind of mortgage are they likely to get? Versus a married couples each earning $80k for a combined family income of $160k? Also, there are savings: you end up splitting the utilities and many other expenses. All told, the married couple can get a much better (economic) quality of life together. Whether they will be happy together, that is another question altogether...
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I think you will be seeing more and more women taking this approach. Women seem to be outpacing men in colleges. We are already seeing women becoming the bigger bread winner.
According to a recent news report I watched on TV, in 40% of the US families, women are the bigger bread winners now. In Canada the number is reportedly 18%. The future will show what they will believe in after they are in their 50s :)
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Yes, in the economic sense. Let's say a woman (or a man) earns $80k. What kind of mortgage are they likely to get? Versus a married couples each earning $80k for a combined family income of $160k? Also, there are savings: you end up splitting the utilities and many other expenses. All told, the married couple can get a much better (economic) quality of life together. Whether they will be happy together, that is another question altogether...
At $60,000 of income, $600 of monthly credit card/other loan debt, heating costs of $150 a month, and property taxes of $300 a month, even with no down payment, in Canada, a person can qualify for a mortgage of over $250,000.
Sure, two can live almost as cheaply as one, but ML gets what I am saying. Not everything is about economics. Part of it is the independence but often, it is about ensuring your children (as opposed to your second husband's children) get your assets/the value thereof. Women tend to think about this far, far more often than do men.
In Canada the number is reportedly 18%.
According to the 2010 census, it's 31%.
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According to a recent news report I watched on TV, in 40% of the US families, women are the bigger bread winners now. In Canada the number is reportedly 18%. The future will show what they will believe in after they are in their 50s :)
I expect that for most this might be a few hundred or a few thousand per year more and that few statistically speaking would earn let's say $20k or more than their husband.
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At $60,000 of income, $600 of monthly credit card/other loan debt, heating costs of $150 a month, and property taxes of $300 a month, even with no down payment, in Canada, a person can qualify for a mortgage of over $250,000.
Sure, two can live almost as cheaply as one, but ML gets what I am saying. Not everything is about economics. Part of it is the independence but often, it is about ensuring your children (as opposed to your second husband's children) gets your assets/the value thereof. Women tend to think about this far, far more often than do men.
According to the 2010 census, it's 31%.
And what will $250k buy you in most urban centers in Canada? West of the Maritimes not much house wise.
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$250,000 will get you a nice, smaller home in safe neighbourhoods in any of Alberta's cities, or a pretty decent condo.
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$250,000 will get you a nice, smaller home in safe neighbourhoods in any of Alberta's cities, or a pretty decent condo.
Did an MLS search for Calgary: no houses in that price range, just condos and townhouses.
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I did an online search and found 3 pages of houses. Only 2 in an undesirable area (Forest Heights).
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I did an online search and found 3 pages of houses. Only 2 in an undesirable area (Forest Heights).
On MLS.ca? Feel free to post an example.
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Guys, what age of women are you talking about here? Young single mothers or empty nesters?
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No age range on the mortgage. But a woman over 50 would usually have enough assets that she'd have some equity going in and if not, there are lots of condos in that price range.
Here are a few homes under $250,000 in Calgary -
http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13338409&PidKey=-799720952 (http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13338409&PidKey=-799720952)
http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13244402&PidKey=1036496737 (http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13244402&PidKey=1036496737)
http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13337799&PidKey=-507322699 (http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13337799&PidKey=-507322699)
http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=12714236&PidKey=-1340897051 (http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=12714236&PidKey=-1340897051)
http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13010839&PidKey=778648686 (http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13010839&PidKey=778648686)
http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13293717&PidKey=-945988690 (http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13293717&PidKey=-945988690)
http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13137606&PidKey=-23195354 (http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13137606&PidKey=-23195354)
http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13168733&PidKey=-1141234947 (http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13168733&PidKey=-1141234947)
http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13093913&PidKey=-1851783734 (http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13093913&PidKey=-1851783734)
http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13294118&PidKey=-1864785782 (http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13294118&PidKey=-1864785782)
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No age range on the mortgage.
I know that but I think that requirements are very different for moms with kids and for women living alone.
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Not necessarily. I grew up in a tough neighbourhood, 2 bedroom home, about 700 square feet total, with a third bedroom being a room upstairs. Young parents. That house today would list for around $210,000. But yes, an empty nester can live in a condo complex.
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Bo, my point is that needs for multi-bedroom houses vs. smaller condos change with age. Or don't, depending on the person, I guess. :D
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I know. :P If we go back to the original point, an over 50 woman with a $60,000 income, fairly significant monthly debt, and zero savings can qualify for a $250,000 mortgage. I agree, it is more likely she would purchase a condominium than a house. The house came in as part of a subsequent riposte.
IRL, I know of no women over 50 who have worked all their lives and have no assets.
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...Here are a few homes under $250,000 in Calgary -
http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13293717&PidKey=-945988690 (http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13293717&PidKey=-945988690)
http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13137606&PidKey=-23195354 (http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13137606&PidKey=-23195354)
Holy Smokes, Boethius...
These homes are hovering close to $400.00/SF!!! They're barely livable.. :( I'd rather pay for an apartment....$200K = likely $900.00/mo (?) for a half a skip over 500 SF?
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For many of those properties, the value is in the lot, not the house. Most apartments are over $1000 a month, but include all utilities. When we lived in an apartment, which was in a good neighbourhood, our rent was the same as our mortgage payment when we purchased. We were happy there, and didn't buy until our daughter was born. Since then, new floors, all new appliances, new furnace, new roof, new fence, new sidewalk, renovated bathrooms, new garage doors (big one and side), and we still need to reno the kitchen and replace the deck. Our house was not that old, less than 20 years old when we purchased. Hubby was not involved at all in choosing the house, he didn't care. We could've purchased a newer home, but most were near power lines, which for me, was a no no with kids.
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No age range on the mortgage. But a woman over 50 would usually have enough assets that she'd have some equity going in and if not, there are lots of condos in that price range.
Here are a few homes under $250,000 in Calgary -
Let's see, the first one I clicked had this message: " This is a great property to re-develop. Land Value. Check out all the in fills in this area. All attached chattels are sold 'as is'"
This would be realtor speak for a rat-infested-hovel-if-Alberta-had-rats.
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I know. :P If we go back to the original point, an over 50 woman with a $60,000 income, fairly significant monthly debt, and zero savings can qualify for a $250,000 mortgage. I agree, it is more likely she would purchase a condominium than a house. The house came in as part of a subsequent riposte.
IRL, I know of no women over 50 who have worked all their lives and have no assets.
The original riposte was that two incomes would provide a better quality of life. You proved my point: the $250k houses that you found are being sold so they can be torn down as nobody would actually want to live in them. The married couple each earning $60k could buy the $500k house that would not be condemned in the near future.
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The point is, one can, if one wishes, acquire a home for $250,000 in an Alberta city. The price point is for the lot, but it doesn't mean it is condemnable. Of course, a woman could take your course of action and marry someone she may not love so that she can live more cheaply.
BTW, I have friends who purchased homes in such areas, in worse condition than any of those listed, put in sweat equity, and sold them to move to bigger properties. My entire childhood was in a house that was no better than any of those listed, and I survived.
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IMVHO, a woman (or man) who earns less than $100k and does not own their house outright would be better off married to someone who warns as much as they do or more.
It depends on the players of the game.
If both partners work towards a common plan then, yes, it may be better. If one partner or both partners spends money without regard, well, forget about it. :)
As a single person, I need very little compared to when I was married. Apparently I needed a lot more when married. I wonder what changed? :P
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Of course, a woman could take your course of action and marry someone she may not love so that she can live more cheaply.
This is a sad and scary thought... :'(
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According to a recent news report I watched on TV, in 40% of the US families, women are the bigger bread winners now. In Canada the number is reportedly 18%. The future will show what they will believe in after they are in their 50s :)
Yeah, it sounds about what I have read in different sources. Pretty big numbers and will continue to grow, imo. I think you will see something similar to the African American groups where the number of educated women will outgrow the men significantly. This has led to problems with women finding what they would consider adequate men to marry.
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I wonder what changed? :P
Size of your closets? ;)
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Size of your closets? ;)
I stopped wearing socks. ;) Life is simple without socks. Try it!
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The point is, one can, if one wishes, acquire a home for $250,000 in an Alberta city. The price point is for the lot, but it doesn't mean it is condemnable. Of course, a woman could take your course of action and marry someone she may not love so that she can live more cheaply.
What I am saying is that there are economic benefits to being married and because of this most in the middle classes tend to get married or stay married because it offers advantages including issues of quality of life that includes economic returns as well as social and psychological and health...
Though I do not always agree with everything he writes, here Frum summarizes quite well the benefits of marriage and its importance to the middle-class:
http://www.cnn.com/2013/02/04/opinion/frum-marriage?c=&page=1
My entire childhood was in a house that was no better than any of those listed, and I survived.
My early childhood years were spent in a decrepit shack on a homestead with a wood stove and an outhouse. I would never want to live in one or pay $250k for one either >:D
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This is a sad and scary thought... :'(
Yes, it is. And you know what is equally scary? Being a woman who does not have an ability to earn her own living. In the past month, in the course of structuring tax efficient separations, I have had two crying middle aged women in my office, both of whom had husbands leave them for younger women. Both were stay at home wives, and both were negotiated down to less than they are legally entitled to on settlements by hard nosed businessmen, though each had competent legal counsel. One hasn't worked in 20 years (raised five children), and while she has a good settlement, it's not enough for the rest of her life. She has gone back to school. The second has no prospect to do this, I don't know what will happen to her, but she will get the matrimonial home and some cash, though not enough to be fully comfortable.
My mother always told her daughters to be educated and work, because life is long and you don't know what will happen. We have all worked, always, mostly out of necessity, though one of us did not have to work had she chosen not to. When I see these cases, I have to admit, I am glad I can rely on myself for my economic freedom. (are you listening, Aloe???)
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What I am saying is that there are economic benefits to being married and because of this most in the middle classes tend to get married or stay married because it offers advantages including issues of quality of life that includes economic returns as well as social and psychological and health...
I don't dispute any of that, however, if a woman over 50 is economically stable, she doesn't need a man just so she can live cheaply, and single women, IIRC, live longest of all. I fully understand why ML's friend has stated she will not remarry.
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In the past month, in the course of structuring tax efficient separations, I have had two crying middle aged women in my office, both of whom had husbands leave them for younger women. Both were stay at home wives, and both were negotiated down to less than they are legally entitled to on settlements by hard nosed businessmen, though each had competent legal counsel.
That sucks... But then, again - the person you are divorcing is not the same person you married....
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I don't dispute any of that, however, if a woman over 50 is economically stable, she doesn't need a man just so she can live cheaply, and single women, IIRC, live longest of all. I fully understand why ML's friend has stated she will not remarry.
The woman ML referred to was more than "stable" and would represent a tiny percentage of all Americans female and male. Sure, a woman doesn't need a man, but if she does find a partner and does marry then both she and s/he (she could marry another woman as this would not matter) would both gain in terms of economic potential. The simple fact is that two incomes will push a household up financially.
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It's still not a sufficient reason to seek a mate.
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It's still not a sufficient reason to seek a mate.
No, it will be motivated by love, but the result will be the same. Though, yes, women are less likely to remarry, most Americans for example tend to remarry within five years of a divorce.
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The point is, one can, if one wishes, acquire a home for $250,000 in an Alberta city. The price point is for the lot, but it doesn't mean it is condemnable. Of course, a woman could take your course of action and marry someone she may not love so that she can live more cheaply.
BTW, I have friends who purchased homes in such areas, in worse condition than any of those listed, put in sweat equity, and sold them to move to bigger properties. My entire childhood was in a house that was no better than any of those listed, and I survived.
Forget Alberta. Here, take a look at this.
http://www.hawaiilife.com/mls/1209360/ (http://www.hawaiilife.com/mls/1209360/)
BTW, last year it was selling for $99K
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Sometime after I go to bed tonight, Ochka will be getting inside the aluminum tube to begin her journey back to me.
I was a little late in turning on my Skype today because I got caught out in a thunderstorm with severe lightning and heavy downpour of rain. Had to pull off the road and park for over half an hour until it let up enough to see the car in front.
And she had a lot of anxiety about my 'absence.' Thought I had decided to not want her to return to me in USA.
Tomorrow is predicted to have a lot of rain and lightning all across eastern USA . . . so I hope her flight is not diverted to some other airport, with later flights rebooked to complete her journey.
She is only returning with the clothes she is wearing, so I am packing some of her clothes to take with me to the airport, as we will be spending a couple of days in the big city.
In packing her various items of clothing . . . I got somewhat excited.
What's with that!!
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Ochka arrived back in USA on Thursday evening. The beginning was a little rough, despite fact this was her third arrival.
She had a USA based CDMA mobile phone with her (as well as her Ukrainian GSM phone), and I had told her to call my mobile AFTER she had gone through passport control and customs control.
I always wait for her at the baggage carousel.
My phone rings.
Her: I have my luggage and am heading for the exit.
Me: What! You can't have your luggage; I am at the carousel and no luggage from your flight is here. What exit are you at?
Her: I can't understand your words. I have my luggage.
Me: What luggage do you have; your carry-on?
Her: Yes.
Me: Is that all you have; your carry-on?
Her: I also have my checked luggage.
Me: You can't have. What exit are you heading for?
Her: The sign says exit. I can't hear you well.
(I then hustle to the escalator and head upstairs toward exit)
Me: What exit are you at?
Her: I can't understand you. I will call you later.
(I then go back down to baggage carousel assigned for her flight and am getting a huge headache)
15 minutes pass; then 20. Finally baggage starts to come down the chute.
My phone rings again.
Her: Where are you?
Me: I am at baggage area; where are you?
Her: Where am I supposed to go?
Me: Go to carousel X.
Her: Where is that; Oh, I see you now.
Me - - - looking very stern at her. So you don't have your baggage. Why did you tell me you did and that you were heading for exit?
Her - - - I did have my checked bag, but then I had to give it back and they put it on belt.
Me - - - I told you to call me AFTER you had gone through customs. You aren't even supposed to turn on your mobile until you go through customs.
Her - - - I did go through passport.
Me - - - but customs is always next after passport. You get your bags after passport and before customs, you go through customs and then put your bags back on belt and they arrive here. You have already done this twice before.
Her - - - I didn't remember.
Me - - - You had me worried to death as to where you were in the airport - - - I thought you were really outside the terminal somewhere.
Her - - - looking very downcast.
Me - - - OK. Hugs and kisses.
Her - - - sorry honey.
But the rest of the evening and night was great.
Both she and I usually get over minor squabbles quickly and never refer to them again.
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Really ML......this is 3rd time?? Why don't you just wait just outside area where everybody from flight comes out of.......with anticipation......then you can hug and kiss and profess your 'missing' each other. ;)
You are too wrapped up in knowing exactly where she is...in the process.
I really thought you would be so into Ochka...we wouldn't see you here much...guess I was wrong!!! :o
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You get your bags after passport and before customs, you go through customs and then put your bags back on belt and they arrive here.
I didn't get this... What luggage belt after customs?
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Really ML......this is 3rd time?? Why don't you just wait just outside area where everybody from flight comes out of.......with anticipation......then you can hug and kiss and profess your 'missing' each other. ;)
You are too wrapped up in knowing exactly where she is...in the process.
I really thought you would be so into Ochka...we wouldn't see you here much...guess I was wrong!!! :o
Don't understand your surprise, etc., concerning 3rd time.
The point about third time was that we had already done this twice without problems, so I was quite surprised at her actions and words this third time around.
And, the baggage carousel area IS the area that everyone from flights are first in contact with anyone not on flights. Those waiting for someone cannot get to any areas closer.
I was 'wrapped up in knowing exactly where she was' SIMPLY BECAUSE I CARE VERY MUCH FOR HER SAFETY, and it seemed like she had somehow gotten outside the terminal when I was inside.
GEEZ . . . this is taking care of your woman 101.
I was gone from here for 4 days 'catching up.'
Now need a rest.
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I didn't get this... What luggage belt after customs?
Airports are all different with different procedures.
Here, international flights come into a separate terminal that is quite some distance from the main airport area.
The luggage is retrieved by each passenger after passport control and before customs control (this part is pretty standard), and each passenger takes their own luggage through customs control.
Then, because there is some distance to the terminal exit and parking area, the checked luggage is placed on conveyor belts which takes it to the regular carousel area near exit. There is no choice about this, because people then ride on small trains (which haven't space for checked luggage) to exit area .
So it's impossible for someone to 'have luggage and be heading for exit (as she told me she was doing)' without first being in carousel area.
And I was at the assigned carousel which had not received any luggage from her flight. Hence my extreme confusion and worry about her whereabouts, etc.
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Don't understand your surprise, etc., concerning 3rd time.
The point about third time was that we had already done this twice without problems, so I was quite surprised at her actions and words this third time around.
And, the baggage carousel area IS the area that everyone from flights are first in contact with anyone not on flights. Those waiting for someone cannot get to any areas closer.
I was 'wrapped up in knowing exactly where she was' SIMPLY BECAUSE I CARE VERY MUCH FOR HER SAFETY, and it seemed like she had somehow gotten outside the terminal when I was inside.
GEEZ . . . this is taking care of your woman 101.
I was gone from here for 4 days 'catching up.'
Now need a rest.
Would she have died the minute she walked outside the terminal? You should put a chip in her so you can track her by phone.
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Then, because there is some distance to the terminal exit and parking area, the checked luggage is placed on conveyor belts which takes it to the regular carousel area near exit. There is no choice about this, because people then ride on small trains (which haven't space for checked luggage) to exit area .
Very weird (and not too safe) arrangement, if you ask me... Is it Orlando airport?
So it's impossible for someone to 'have luggage and be heading for exit (as she told me she was doing)' without first being in carousel area.
Looks like it is possible ;)
After clearing Immigration and Customs: You may either keep your checked bags with you, or place them on the baggage belt for transfer to the Main Terminal, before taking the escalator/stairs up to the AGT station
http://www.orlandoairports.net/arrive/ (http://www.orlandoairports.net/arrive/)
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Very weird (and not too safe) arrangement, if you ask me...
I don't understand your comment about not safe.
Do you mean someone getting into luggage?
It's all the same system and airport personnel involved all the way from plane to carousel; so risk of theft no different.
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Is it Orlando airport?
No.
But, as you previously wrote to me . . . if I told you, I would have to kill you. :o
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Would she have died the minute she walked outside the terminal?
OMG . . . now you have me very worried about letting her go back to university . . . or anywhere outside my sight. Why did you have to use the 'died' word???!!!! :o
You should put a chip in her so you can track her by phone.
Thanks for this suggestion. I am going to check into it. I hope I can have it implanted without her knowledge, so that she won't have cause to try to evade location detection for some nefarious reason.
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ML, you need some of these drones.
(http://www.sovereignman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/article-2161647-13B02240000005DC-949_634x431.jpg)
Also, make sure to completely wrap her up in bubble wrap. You can never be too safe. Tell her it is a new European style that is all the rage.
(http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRPxUdKFpqTSq4RrYWd4_j7XtHPrvjJJQ5gjYgGV_-wbjn8L7gF)
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Don't understand your surprise, etc., concerning 3rd time.
The point about third time was that we had already done this twice without problems, so I was quite surprised at her actions and words this third time around.
And, the baggage carousel area IS the area that everyone from flights are first in contact with anyone not on flights. Those waiting for someone cannot get to any areas closer.
My bad....airports must be all different...I know for sure in LAX you cannot get anywhere near where luggage carousel is, in fact, all you can see is people turning a corner in an entry way and coming down a ramp!!!
I was 'wrapped up in knowing exactly where she was' SIMPLY BECAUSE I CARE VERY MUCH FOR HER SAFETY, and it seemed like she had somehow gotten outside the terminal when I was inside.
GEEZ . . . this is taking care of your woman 101.
Ahuh!!!! Slip of the tongue??? Your women???? Now it is finally coming out!!!!! Hey, I even fixed your responce!!! Time to make up for lost time ML!!! Have fun!! :P
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My bad....airports must be all different...I know for sure in LAX you cannot get anywhere near where luggage carousel is, in fact, all you can see is people turning a corner in an entry way and coming down a ramp!!!Ahuh!!!! Slip of the tongue??? Your women???? Now it is finally coming out!!!!! Hey, I even fixed your responce!!! Time to make up for lost time ML!!! Have fun!! :P
It's not at all unusual in many airport international terminals to have to collect a checked bag and re-check it before going through customs. From my experience anyway
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It's not at all unusual in many airport international terminals to have to collect a checked bag and re-check it before going through customs. From my experience anyway
Your are right FP, except ,for me, it is so I can catch a connecting flight for home.
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Your are right FP, except ,for me, it is so I can catch a connecting flight for home.
Different airports do have different requirements, jus sayin
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Last evening I was mentioning to Ochka how some here had mentioned 'reverse culture shock.' i.e. when the FSU person goes back to FSU after having lived in west for a while.
She readily replied: OMG the drivers in Ukraine; they are so reckless that I was afraid all the time when on the streets or highways.
First time she took mini bus from Kyiv center to her parent's home about one and half hours away, she sat at very front of bus.
But, when she saw how the other cars cut in front of the bus without warning, and she could see them constantly weaving in and out of the lanes to try to gain a small advantage . . . she never sat in front again. Rather sat farther back and read or looked at the fields, etc.
A relative of hers was a former macho Ukrainian driver. He has lived in Canada now for 12 years and was visiting back in Ukraine at the same time as her. He vowed he would never drive again in Ukraine. But, of course, they all still have to ride on the roads and be subject to the crazy drivers.
Second, she mentioned the poor level of service and unfriendly people in the shops, markets, etc.
Just before she went back to Ukraine, we were at our local supermarket. We couldn't find an item that we wanted, so I looked around for a person stocking shelves. I asked her and she said she would go to back to look for it. Ochka was amazed, saying they would never do that in Ukraine. She was even more amazed when the woman came back with the manager of that area who said he would call another local store to see if they had it and have it sent there in the afternoon. Otherwise he would call warehouse and have it the next day.
Ochka has the bulk of her proceeds from life insurance policy in financial institution in Belgium. But she likes to have a few thousand in bank in Ukraine for spending when she is back there.
So she took $2,500 with her, and still had $2,000 a day before coming back. She heard of a bank that would pay the highest interest rate for USD, but required minimum $2,000.
We had gone to bank here and gotten her 'perfect' 100 dollar bills.
But, when she went to open the account, they found a small tear at the crease of one of them (about as long as the width of a pencil lead), and refused to take it. She didn't have time to go back to relatives to try to find if someone had another 100 dollar bill. This bank even had the gall to suggest she go to another bank to attempt to exchange it. She went ahead and opened the account with $1,900 and is earning a lower interest rate for the coming year. She is still highly ticked about this.
There was a third thing she mentioned, but I can't remember now, and she is gone grocery shopping.
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Can anyone top this?
Ochka is addicted to ice cream and suggests it after every dinner out on the town.
She even likes McDonalds and suggests it even after a $100 meal.
And, she just recently shifted to the small cone from a sundae after reading the posting regarding calories. The chocolate or caramel on the sundae almost double the calories.
Anyway, last night we were at a McDonalds and sitting eating our monthly special 49 cent cones. There were only maybe 5-6 customers in the entire place and 2 gals and a guy working behind the counter.
A 18-20 year old couple came in. The girl was very slender, but a little trashy looking, the guy not so trashy looking.
The guy came over and sat not too far from us, and the gal was at the soda dispenser.
A porky gal (20-22) behind the counter yelled over to the slender gal (they obviously knew each other) and said:
Could you go out to my car and get me a tampon?
My eyes widened and Ochka said, what's the matter?
I said: did you hear what that porky gal said?
Ochka said: Something about a coupon I think.
I said: No, she spoke about a tampon.
Ochka: Probably not.
We returned to our cones but, I just happened to look out and see the slender girl coming around a car and putting something slender and white into her jeans pocket. Couldn't be sure what it was but, I relayed this on to Ochka who was now looking pretty incredulous about this.
Now, we watched as the slender girl came in and walked across toward the counter; the porky gal came out from behind the counter; and the slender girl handed her a tampon.
So we have gone to this being unmentionable even to husbands, to mention on radio but not TV, to TV advertisements . . .
to yelling about it in a public place! ::) :-[ :o
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So, how'd that ice cream cone suddenly taste? :o
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So, how'd that ice cream cone suddenly taste? :o
Guess you get what you for.......cheap places breeds trashy talk..... I wonder what you would find in trailer parks? :-\
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It's one way for a gal to ensure no one will be hitting on her tonight. LOL
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After sex, women like to reward me with an appropriate meal.
One time, the woman made Minute rice and Quick chocolate drink.
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...A porky gal (20-22) behind the counter yelled over to the slender gal (they obviously knew each other) and said:...
Nope. I don't believe the story. Sorry.
Overweight persons are not hired by McDonald's for the obvious reason.
As of present time, the US discrimination Law doesn't prohibit discriminating against fat overweight people. :P
http://www.sec.gov/eeoinfo/antidiscrimination.htm
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Funny how things change.
Ochka was just telling me this at breakfast.
When she arrived two years ago, her parents did not have a computer or the internet at their home in a small city about an hour and a half outside of Kyiv.
They talked on the phone once a week or so, and her parents told her to not spend more than a few minutes on the phone because it was too expensive for her.
Ochka kept telling that they should get internet and she would buy a computer for them.
No, no . . . we don't want it, it is not necessary (yes, they were afraid of something new), we can just talk on phone once in a while.
Now . . . currently.
They have a computer, they have internet, and they have Skype.
It is almost a daily talk at 7 AM here and 2 PM there.
And complaints from them if Ochka is not there promptly at 7 AM (remember previously that once a week was what they said it should be on phone)
and now complaints if the video is not clear from time to time!!
Quite funny when viewed in perspective and over time.
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Ochka back to University. For her Graduate Teaching Assistantship, she is assigned to work in Math Lab this semester, plus maybe still do some grading like last two semesters. Assignments may change substantially as the week progresses; so they say.
In Math Lab, students can log into homework assignments and/or extra practice problems, do some steps, find out if correct, move to next part of the problem, etc. (as I understand it).
GTA's are there to provide help if students get 'stuck' at a particular point. Don't know what all classes are covered, but first two semesters of calculus for sure.
Ochka was a study hall helper a little bit last year and she enjoyed that more than grading. So she is pretty hyped to get started in the Math Lab. But . . . we shall see, as it actually unfolds.
I actually am not too happy with the lab assignment, because it puts her on a strict schedule with no flexibility. With grading, she could work on it whenever, just as long as it was done 2 days (or more) hence.
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Great news here on the home-front.
In addition to all required and elective coursework, and B or above grades in all, students must pass comprehensive exams in two of 4 subject areas to obtain masters degree at the university. Areas are Real Analysis (which I have said is unreal), Abstract Algebra (which is a gross understatement), Differential Equations, and Topology.
These exams are given only twice a year: at beginning of Fall Semester and end of Spring Semester.
There are 3 possible grades: Fail, Pass at Masters level, Pass at PhD entry level.
Ochka was not able to get started in the Topology or Differential sequence the first semester last year (classes at very screwy times), so she followed the Real Analysis and Abstract Algebra sequence the first two semesters. (She is doing the Topology and Diff Eq sequences this second year). Unfortunately, she found out from other students (halfway through first year) that the Real Analysis and Abstract Algebra comprehensive exams had much higher failure rates than the other two areas!! :o :o
I advised her to try the comprehensive exams at end of Spring 2013; but she was simply not ready as she found out that there were often questions on the exams that were not even covered in the first year coursework. As grad students, they were expected to know more than just what is in a given course or a given textbook.
Waiting until Spring 2014 was a risky option, since a failure at that point would run her up to the expiration of her student visa. Students can repeat the tests only once. So the decision was made to try the exams at beginning of Fall 2013 . . . which is now.
This meant studying the entire summer on her own, covering new material on her own. The University does make freely available the past exams. However, with theoretical math (no numbers, only theorems, proofs, etc.), it is only necessary to change one slight input . . . and it is a 'whole new ballgame.'
So the summer was ruined with respect to any travel within the USA, etc., and it was very stressful for both of us.
And, when Ochka finally did take the exams last week (one Tuesday and one Wednesday), she was in breakdown mode. After the first one, Real Analysis, she came home and told me that she totally failed it (this was her opinion.) She went on and on about how she knew she made errors in every question, one question should not even have been there because it was from Advanced Calculus, etc.
So she hoped she could at least pass the next one in Abstract Algebra (if students pass one, they get to keep it, and only need to pass the second one the next time they try). But she had actually spent almost the entire previous week studying Real Analysis because she said it was the most difficult for her, and now was basically just doing a very brief overview of Abstract Algebra the night and morning before that exam.
Then, the day of this second exam, she called me from school and was just totally shaking all over. Said she had gotten sick while driving to school (which seemed to be an exhaustion type of sick), was still nauseous, had absolutely nothing in her head, was very afraid and was thinking of not taking the exam. I encouraged her to at least try, but told her I would not feel bad toward her if she chose otherwise.
I was really sick in the stomach myself after her call.
Anyway, she arrived back home with a slight smile on her face.
I said: What the he!! happened; how the turn-around?
She said that a half hour or so before the exam began, she started to feel much better, and was not nervous at all during the 3 hour exam. She even thought she might have barely passed the exam at the lower masters level.
But she was still sure that she had completely failed the Real Analysis exam.
A check with continuing students revealed that it generally took two weeks to get the results; so we weren't expecting anything for quite a while.
But today, I was checking her email account with the math department (she has 4 various email accounts and wants me to check them all and delete the crap, etc. as she doesn't really like to mess with email and doesn't have time for it); and I saw a message from Director of Graduate Studies with subj: Results of comprehensive exams.
I was really afraid to open it . . . given her thoughts about the results . . . but had to do it.
"Congratulations on your excellent performance. You passed both exams at the PhD level."
I thought 'what the sheeeeet.' Ochka is always thinking she did worse than is revealed later . . . but she was absolutely certain about failing the one and hoped she might get a masters pass on the second.
I didn't call her and tell her this news, because I thought she might have a wreck on the way home from the hyper.
After she got home, I even waited while she told of her daily routine as she likes to do each day.
Then I said, come in here, (to my computer) there is something I want you to see.
She never expected to see the message, as we were thinking it would come next week some time.
When I showed her the unopened message, she said: I don't want to open it.
So I open it, and had to almost force her to look at it.
She started reading . . . and then started screaming. "It is impossible!!"
Then she started laughing, then cried, then jumped up and down, then hugged me, then laughed and cried some more, etc., etc.
For the next half hour this routine kept repeating and she kept saying 'how can it be, I know I made many mistakes, etc.'
Anyway, I took her out to dinner . . . and we discussed what this meant for her future.
First and foremost, it means she has lifted a 2 ton anvil from above her head. All she needs to do now to receive her Masters Degree is to get B's in all coursework this semester and next semester; and she has already gotten A's in all previous coursework.
I am really hoping that she will be much more joyful and carefree for the next 7 months or so, although I know she will still study a lot.
Second, it means she has a free pass into the PhD program if she wants to pursue that avenue. She will have to return to Ukraine this summer and apply for a second student visa. If she gets it, it will be for 5 years, which is what they give Doctoral students.
Those whose student visas expire (as her's will early next summer), can actually stay in the USA on the expired visa . . . as long as they are enrolled in a program of study. However, they cannot leave the USA (if they want to return) because they cannot be admitted back into USA on an expired visa.
So there is some risk involved in even going back to Ukraine this summer and apply for the second student visa. Although she would seem to be a shoo-in to get it . . . one can never count on this 100%.
Anyway, quite an unbelievable turn around situation in our household.
Not that I didn't believe she could do it; I was just going on what she had truly felt about how she had performed. She is mostly always too pessimistic about exam results, but this time she was really convinced and, of course, had convinced me.
No, No . . . not all FSUW are highly intelligent.
But, of course, some are.
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Many congratulations to Ochka! :clapping: May whatever she wants or needs in the way of visas come to pass. :thumbsup:
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passed both exams at the PhD level."
Grats to Ochka! My wife has a tendency to underestimate herself too in college. As long as they work harder than their fellow students, they'll be ok.
This meant studying the entire summer......
So the summer was ruined with respect to any travel within the USA, etc., and it was very stressful for both of us.
You both made the right choice.
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Please pass on my congratulations to Ochka. That is an incredible achievement. Now, you can marry her, with the knowledge that, in your dotage, she will be able to support on a generous professor's salary.
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Ochka :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping:
I believe VWRW's academic achievements are similar, or getting there.
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Thanks to all for the congratulatory comments.
Lest some be mislead, let me repeat that Ochka's grade on each of the two exams was 'Pass at PhD entry level.'
This is requirement to get admitted into PhD program, and a loooonnnngggg way from attaining a PhD.
Actually, at this University, they do admit some PhD students 'provisionally,' and give them a year to pass these exams at the PhD Entry level. And, as Ochka is finding out, some of these provisional PhD students did not attain the needed pass grade. As far as she knows, she is the only student (masters or PhD) who passed two exams at the PhD Entry level.
Several passed at the Master's level, which is OK for those who will stop at Masters Degree, but not OK for those who wish to continue in PhD program.
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Congrats to Ochka for her achievements and to you for your support to her as well.
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Congratulations to you and your wife. It sure is great when you succeed in life, isn't it? And still, many people in here underestimate the abilities of our friends from the east ;D
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Congratulations to you and your wife. It sure is great when you succeed in life, isn't it? And still, many people in here underestimate the abilities of our friends from the east ;D
Thanks a lot, but, she and I are not married.
Even better . . . we are best friends.
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Thanks a lot, but, she and I are not married.
Even better . . . we are best friends.
Or better yet, best friends with benefits... ;D
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Congrats ML and Gal / Otcha
I just read your whole TR start to finish in one sitting.
I was a good read. I didn't read much of the peanut gallery
stuff however.
Udachi !
Bill
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Bill, thanks for your comments!! :)
It is difficult to plow through the TRs to hear of the actual events in the search . . . so I applaud your effort.
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Last week, Ochka and I went to a Buddy Holly tribute concert.
It was really great. The past 2 years or so, we have been to tribute concerts for Elvis, Johnny Cash, Beatles, Abba, Jersey Boys, Roy Orbison, Frank Sinatra, and now Buddy Holly.
Ochka said this one for Buddy Holly was the best of them all.
Interesting tidbit was the story of the song name 'Peggy Sue.'
Buddy had written it as Cindy Lou, his niece.
But his drummer man told him that if he would change it to Peggy Sue, that gal had promised to fock him (the drummer man).
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Interesting tidbit was the story of the song name 'Peggy Sue.'
Buddy had written it as Cindy Lou, his niece.
But his drummer man told him that if he would change it to Peggy Sue, that gal had promised to fock him (the drummer man).
Rubbish - the drummer was Jerry Allison, and the song was his way of asking Peggy Sue Gerron to come back to him after they had broken up. They eventually got married (unfortunately, they also got divorced after a few years :( ).
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I don't see how your version differs substantially from the version we were told at the concert.
Same drummer, same gal.
Come back to him and/or fock him.
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It is kinda amazing to read this guy's 3 year journey. I jumped around alot but when I have some free time I'd like to read the entire thread. Or ML you can just send me an illustrated time line hahahaha.
I had the chance to read Patagonie's thread too - it was too much so I asked him to give me the condensed version. It's a real treat to go back and read their threads and now have more context to them as men. ML is still informative and a damn smart aleck. 8)
I actually will take the time to read both ML and Patagonie's threads because I'm sure I'll be able to learn from them. Any other married men's marriage threads to look at?
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Look
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=6850.0 (http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=6850.0)
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=3101.0 (http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=3101.0)
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=10013.0 (http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=10013.0)
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=3949.0 (http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=3949.0)
See also all posts of Jack it is a mine.
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fishingguy,
For married men's threads, look in the married section.
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We try to walk an hour every other day, the other days we use weight machine. I rest between my repetitions, but Ochka does hula hoop between her repetitions (yes she has more energy than I). And we do Pilates some days also.
I am amazed at the beautiful body shape she has; and it looks even better now than in previous years. She attributes it to me . . . by getting her involved in these physical activities. She is quite proud of her slender body, likes to strut around in her workout clothes and proclaims . . . not bad for mid 40s woman!!
But probably it is because of keeping bread out of the house . . . except for special occasions.
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We try to walk an hour every other day, the other days we use weight machine. I rest between my repetitions, but Ochka does hula hoop between her repetitions (yes she has more energy than I). And we do Pilates some days also.
I am amazed at the beautiful body shape she has; and it looks even better now than in previous years. She attributes it to me . . . by getting her involved in these physical activities. She is quite proud of her slender body, likes to strut around in her workout clothes and proclaims . . . not bad for mid 40s woman!!
But probably it is because of keeping bread out of the house . . . except for special occasions.
Now all you need to do is teach her how to twerk.
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I don't see how your version differs substantially from the version we were told at the concert.
Same drummer, same gal.
Come back to him and/or fock him.
Actually he wrote the song to call his pet pig, and it was named Piggy sui.
Then some stranger advised him to change it to a girls name.
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Ochka and I went to the new movie Don Jon yesterday.
And interesting movie and one with a very good 'lesson' for guys and gals who are looking for the 'one and only.'
I often don't like movies that deliver a 'lesson,' but this was a pretty good lesson.
If you go, a helpful hint is to watch the main guy's sister who says nothing until near the end. You will be surprised at what this silent gal has to say.
Language is pretty bad, especially for being in parent's home, but maybe that is common with Italian families in New Jersey.
Ochka and I don't agree with the polls that deem Scarlett Johansson one of the 'most beautiful women in the world.'
Her facial features are severely flawed compared to true beauties.
But, for a listing of one of 'sexiest women in world,' some justification there.
Not being Catholic, I was wondering (along with the main guy) how the confessional priests add up the 'bad points' to dole out the number of 'Hail Marys' that will fix everything up.
Pretty funny was fact that the guy set a personal record of 11 in one day and 35 in one week . . . whereas many women can have 11 in 20 minutes and be just getting warmed up.
One part of the movie I didn't understand: There was reference a couple of times to a sexual maneuver or position that most of the gals (according to the guys in the movie) would not do. I had not heard of the name of this maneuver before (no it is not a BJ), so don't know what it is. And I forgot the name, so can't look it up on I-net.
If anyone remembers the name . . . clue me in.
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OMG - - - It finally happened. After suppressing her desire for two and a half years, Ochka finally wanted those dreaded $400 deal-breaker leather boots!!
But the good news . . . she ordered and paid for them herself.
I didn't even know about her purchase until she modeled them for me.
And no, she does not wear that miniskirt to school or anywhere outside our property. The ones she wears to school are much shorter.
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OMG - - - It finally happened. After suppressing her desire for two and a half years, Ochka finally wanted those dreaded $400 deal-breaker leather boots!!
But the good news . . . she ordered and paid for them herself.
I didn't even know about her purchase until she modeled them for me.
And no, she does not wear that miniskirt to school or anywhere outside our property. The ones she wears to school are much shorter.
Maybe you could get her to a dermatologist and get that facial skin problem looked after :D
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Maybe you could get her to a dermatologist and get that facial skin problem looked after :D
Idunno - it looks bad enough to require major cosmetic surgery! :ROFL:
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An FSUW that I hadn't had contact with for a couple of years wrote me last week asking how I was doing, etc.
I replied that all was fine and told her about Ochka living with me here, etc.
Today she replied saying, in part:
"Now you learn more about the Ukrainian women. Their features, character, inner world. You plan to marry this woman? Or it relationship for its training?"
I thought the last sentence was fairly cute . . . or interesting.
Her English is less than fluent and it takes her some time to compose . . . so not quite sure the 'exact' meaning of her words.
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Ochka and I are going on a 4 night mini-trip to a 'high interest' location during the 9 day university Thanksgiving break.
Perhaps some of you already know, but for others . . . it is possible to get a 'better than internet or advertised rate' by talking on phone directly with the hotel.
I did the typical exhaustive internet search using amenity features, specific location in town compared to sightseeing features, etc. After finding the best deal (I wanted full breakfast, parking, local transportation passes, etc.) included . . . I then called the hotel and asked if they would reserve for me at a rate $50 less per night than what I had found on the internet.
The gal readily agreed to it. Doesn't always work as it depends on expected occupancy rate, rooms already booked, etc., but often worth a try.
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ML, why you two ain't married? :)
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ML, why you two ain't married? :)
What??? WHAT??!! NAYYY I say, Madam... the Bread Bandit cannot be bound by the shackles of matrimony! His onus to conquer the injustice of grains outWEIGH any such trivial societal expectations!
Look, up at the bakery.. it's a bagel! .. it's a bundt! NOO! It's Bread Bandit!
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he-he :D
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ML, why you two ain't married? :)
Fear :D
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An FSUW that I hadn't had contact with for a couple of years wrote me last week asking how I was doing, etc.
I replied that all was fine and told her about Ochka living with me here, etc.
Today she replied saying, in part:
"Now you learn more about the Ukrainian women. Their features, character, inner world. You plan to marry this woman? Or it relationship for its training?"
I thought the last sentence was fairly cute . . . or interesting.
Her English is less than fluent and it takes her some time to compose . . . so not quite sure the 'exact' meaning of her words.
I had to laugh when I read her last sentence. Its typical of the humor I have heard from FSUW with nice personalities. I take it as pulling your leg or ribbing you a little. ;D
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I had to laugh when I read her last sentence. Its typical of the humor I have heard from FSUW with nice personalities. I take it as pulling your leg or ribbing you a little. ;D
Well it would be if she was not serious !!!!! LOL ;D
Really looking forward to hearing how your "training" goes !!
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The only benefit of marriage, except family or religious ones, is to let her coming legally. ML don't have such problem.
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The only benefit of marriage, except family or religious ones, is to let her coming legally. ML don't have such problem.
Different strokes for different folks. If he can pull it off and he obviously did, more power to them
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The only benefit of marriage, except family or religious ones, is to let her coming legally. ML don't have such problem.
You got it baby!!!
But, who knows what lies in the future.
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ML, why you two ain't married? :)
I have been waiting to see if you might become available.
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You plan to marry this woman? Or it relationship for its training?"
Mendeleyev alternate translation: "I'm going to kid you a little to keep it light but what I'm really wondering is whether will be a chance for us in the future?"
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You got it baby!!!
But, who knows what lies in the future.
Someday in the not too distant, she will complete her studies and will not be able to continue her stay on a student visa.
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Someday in the not too distant, she will complete her studies and will not be able to continue her stay on a student visa.
Masters will be complete in May, but . . . as I posted earlier, she has already passed qualifying exams at beginning PhD level (which some provisional PhD students have not yet done), so she is a lock for full admission to PhD program. University will then issue her a new I-20 with a 5-7 year duration.
But two factors: She is not sure if she wants to do PhD; and 5-7 year new I-20 allows her to stay in USA for that time period, but she will need a new student visa if she wants to leave USA and return (which she will want to do). Should be a high probability to get a new student F-1 visa . . . but not a certainty.
She may also ask for the dreaded pre-nup!!!!!!!!
Interesting times lie ahead!! For now, we just enjoy each other to the max.
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We returned from 4 day mini-trip to Washington DC.
Visited several of the Smithsonian Museums.
After viewing all the history and fabulous artifacts, etc.; asked Ochka what was the best part.
Viewing the Formal Gowns of the First Ladies.
Women !!!!
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We returned from 4 day mini-trip to Washington DC.
Visited several of the Smithsonian Museums.
After viewing all the history and fabulous artifacts, etc.; asked Ochka what was the best part.
Viewing the Formal Gowns of the First Ladies.
Women !!!!
:ROFL:
What did you expect? Just because she has won Nobel Prizes in two different disciplines, speaks 23 languages fluently, and designed the Burj al-Arab, as well as being voted "Rear of the Year" on RWD, she's hardly going to let the sisterhood down by picking the Space Shuttle, is she? :cluebat:
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:ROFL:
What did you expect? Just because she has won Nobel Prizes in two different disciplines, speaks 23 languages fluently, and designed the Burj al-Arab, as well as being voted "Rear of the Year" on RWD, she's hardly going to let the sisterhood down by picking the Space Shuttle, is she? :cluebat:
hahaha made me laugh
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For anyone who might be making a trip to Washington DC.
We had been there two years ago and stayed at a Hilton Hotel which is virtually on top of the Ballston Metro stop on Fairfax Drive in Arlington, VA.
For this second visit with Ochka, I checked around extensively but could not find a deal that was better than the Hilton Hotel deal.
They have a package called 'Easy Riders.'
This package includes, hotel room, underground parking (which can be $15-45 per day at some hotels), full breakfast for two, and two unlimited metro passes for each day of stay.
The package price is considerably less than the total of the separate items. The price per day will vary substantially depending on your dates. Weekends are cheaper, and they are very attuned to the demand factors related to local events occurring, so pricing changes daily and can double or more.
The breakfast is not the 'Continental type' served up by some hotels, but rather a full buffet of hot meats and other items, large selection of cut and full fresh fruits, selection of tasty (and fattening) rolls, pastries, etc., AND custom made omelets, waffles, etc.
The hearty breakfast without leaving hotel, plus the metro not even being a short walk away are great features for those wanting to maximize the time available for being a tourist.
Hilton Arlington
950 North Stafford Street
Arlington, VA 22203
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Another point and recommendation about our trip to Washington DC
There are many great restaurants there, as you would expect in an international city.
Two of my favorites are:
Taverna Cretekou . . . Greek cuisine located in Old Town Alexandria, VA.
I have been to this place perhaps 15 or so times going back 30 years or so. I usually have the combination plate, and recommended it to Ochka. But she opted for the leg of lamb, which was OK, but not as interesting as the varied food available in the combination. The waiters are very attentive; and hope you get one of the guys in their 60s-70s as they really know the menu.
818 King Street
Alexandria, VA 22314 Phone 703-548-8688
Just a block and a half north of George Washington Blvd (Which is George Washington Parkway outside the town).
Tutto Bene . . . Italian cuisine located in Arlington, VA not too far from I-66 and the Potomac river.
I have also been here more than 10 times over several years. It looks small and insignificant from the outside (Ochka was even a little worried about it), but inside it stretches a long way back and is actually quite large.
They have the full range of Italian food, of which my favorite is generally of the northern variety; i.e. Veal ala Marsala with asparagus, etc. Great service here also.
501 North Randolph Street
Arlington, VA 22203 Phone 703-522-1005
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my favorite is generally of the northern variety; i.e. Veal ala Marsala with asparagus, etc.
You probably mean a scaloppina al Marsala ;), where Marsala stands for the fortified wine (similar to Madera, Sherry) sprinkled on the escalope (pork or veal) while cooking it - originally a Sicilian recipe, witness the area where it originated thanks to a visiting Brtitish soda merchant (John Woodhouse) who sampled the local perpetuum wine, had it added with eau de vie to better preserve it in transit and had 50 pipes (casks with a capacity of half a tun) shipped to Liverpool to try on the market, which was a success:
(http://www.worldfood.it/wp-content/uploads/scaloppine-al-marsala.jpg)
Some restaurants make a production of this entrée by serving it flambée :-\.
¡Olé, olé! ;D
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You probably mean a scaloppina al Marsala ;) , where Marsala stands for the fortified wine (similar to Madera, Sherry) sprinkled on the escalope (pork or veal) while cooking it - originally a Sicilian recipe, witness the area where it originated thanks to a visiting Brtitish soda merchant (John Woodhouse) who sampled the local perpetuum wine, had it added with eau de vie to better preserve it in transit and had 50 pipes (casks with a capacity of half a tun) shipped to Liverpool to try on the market, which was a success:
(http://www.worldfood.it/wp-content/uploads/scaloppine-al-marsala.jpg)
Some restaurants make a production of this entrée by serving it flambée :-\ .
¡Olé, olé! ;D
Yes, I have seen it described with different words in various restaurants.
And, I am very familiar with the Marsala wine and it's ingredients. I buy several bottles of it (the cooking wine variety) at a time when I see it, because not all supermarkets carry it. Ochka became a fan, and uses it it pork, chicken and veal dishes. The chicken Marsala with mushrooms is particularly tasty.
Interestingly, it cannot be found in Ukraine at all.
This despite fact that the Massandra Winery in Crimea made a large quantity of it in 2005 to send to UK to help celebrate anniversary of Battle of Trafalgar as it was a favorite of Admiral Nelson.
I finally had a friend call the Winery and ask "what's up with this non-supply" since they actually knew how to make it. The answer was that it was a one shot deal and there was no demand for it in Ukraine.
A relative of another friend brought some up from Italy to Ukraine, but it did not have anything like the taste that was needed. I guess there is some difference between the cooking type and drinking type.
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I cried today; something I have only done a few times in my adult life.
Ochka was due to fly home tomorrow for a two week visit.
But around noon today, she told me that she would not leave me alone at this particular time (I have encountered a very stressful situation) and had decided not to go.
I thought her family would really be ticked; but she told me she had already talked with them and, in fact, they had very strongly told her to not leave me
Orbitz ticket non-refundable, so she just ate around $1,200.
We checked on Orbitz and she can get another ticket within one year, but . . . there will be a $360 fee . . . and worst of all . . . can't rebook any international flights. What kind of a crock is this; since she will want international flight. So probably we will go somewhere in USA at a later date. Might look into a short trip immediately, but not sure at this point.
Anyway, I couldn't talk her out of her decision not to go; and this subsequently led to very tender words between us . . . and the tears flowed for both of us. We both filled up a couple of handkerchiefs with eye and nose fluids. Which then lead to the same great outcome as 'make-up sex.' I know most of you will be thrilled to read this; but probably some Scrooges around.
She is really one hell of a gal (in the best meaning); but I still don't really get what she sees in me. In addition to words of love, she says she feels more comfortable with me than with anyone else she has ever known.
Course she doesn't know I had planned for 5 other women to fly in to see me while she was gone . . . just kidding . . . but typed for the benefit of the haters.
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I cried today; something I have only done a few times in my adult life.
Ochka was due to fly home tomorrow for a two week visit.
But around noon today, she told me that she would not leave me alone at this particular time (I have encountered a very stressful situation) and had decided not to go.
I thought her family would really be ticked; but she told me she had already talked with them and, in fact, they had very strongly told her to not leave me
Orbitz ticket non-refundable, so she just ate around $1,200.
We checked on Orbitz and she can get another ticket within one year, but . . . there will be a $360 fee . . . and worst of all . . . can't rebook any international flights. What kind of a crock is this; since she will want international flight. So probably we will go somewhere in USA at a later date. Might look into a short trip immediately, but not sure at this point.
Anyway, I couldn't talk her out of her decision not to go; and this subsequently led to very tender words between us . . . and the tears flowed for both of us. We both filled up a couple of handkerchiefs with eye and nose fluids. Which then lead to the same great outcome as 'make-up sex.' I know most of you will be thrilled to read this; but probably some Scrooges around.
She is really one hell of a gal (in the best meaning); but I still don't really get what she sees in me. In addition to words of love, she says she feels more comfortable with me than with anyone else she has ever known.
Course she doesn't know I had planned for 5 other women to fly in to see me while she was gone . . . just kidding . . . but typed for the benefit of the haters.
Awe how sweet... Very nice post, ML :flowers:
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True love is our strongest emotion. When you have it you wonder at it. For sure it will break down your male defensive barriers.
Thanks for sharing. And please do not interject the humor about still looking, etc. It was funny :D, yet it only dilutes this moment. Embrace it fully without reservations.
This is a beautiful moment for you ML - the tears reveal a catharsis without a tragedy. You do realize that ML is doomed. It is now appropriate to change your name from ML to LM (Loving Man).
BTW, the fact that you do not get what she sees in you is a great sign. That shows how much you place her above yourself.
Just my opinion from having experienced it myself.
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True love is our strongest emotion. When you have it you wonder at it. For sure it will break down your male defensive barriers.
Thanks for sharing. And please do not interject the humor about still looking, etc. It was funny :D, yet it only dilutes this moment. Embrace it fully without reservations.
This is a beautiful moment for you ML - the tears reveal a catharsis without a tragedy. You do realize that ML is doomed. It is now appropriate to change your name from ML to LM (Loving Man).
BTW, the fact that you do not get what she sees in you is a great sign. That shows how much you place her above yourself.
Just my opinion from having experienced it myself.
+100
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The good news just keeps flowing in concerning Ochka's school accomplishments.
Grades were just posted for Fall 2013. She had three graduate courses and got three A+.
She was quite surprised concerning one course. It was a PhD level course (she is still in master's program) and for final exam, the professor had 2 out of 5 questions that were totally 'out of left field' that Ochka wrote very little for answer. She told me later the material was never even covered in class, and she only knew anything about it because she had done some extra reading.
She was certain she would only get a B in that course because of screwing up the final. But I told her at the time, that since she had top scores (midterms, quizzes, homework, etc.) going into the final (compared to other students); that none of the other students would do well either on those questions.
So seems that was the case; and Ochka got her A+ because she was still superior to other students.
She wasn't surprised about A in other two courses, but a little surprised about the added + marks.
I have been working on her application to PhD program, and was holding off typing in names of professors she would ask to write recommendation letters. Now, there is no worry about who not to choose !!! :)
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Congrats to her again! +100
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Grades were just posted for Fall 2013. She had three graduate courses and got three A+.
Many congratulations!
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:applaud:
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:clapping: Congratulations for Ochka!! :) and of course--to ML !!
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We recently went through full-body scan at airport.
Ochka went through first.
When I finished, I walked toward Ochka who was all red-faced but smiling.
I was somewhat concerned and asked, "What's up."
She said the TSA guy had said: "You are good to go Miss Hollywood."
I looked at her in tight jeans, form fitting white sweater, with pinkish scarf; and said, "Well, he has good taste in women."
She kept beaming for so long that I had to tell her the story about Mother Superior telling the Nun to go suck on a lemon.
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The good news just keeps flowing in concerning Ochka's school accomplishments.
Grades were just posted for Fall 2013. She had three graduate courses and got three A+.
She was quite surprised concerning one course. It was a PhD level course (she is still in master's program) and for final exam, the professor had 2 out of 5 questions that were totally 'out of left field' that Ochka wrote very little for answer. She told me later the material was never even covered in class, and she only knew anything about it because she had done some extra reading.
She was certain she would only get a B in that course because of screwing up the final. But I told her at the time, that since she had top scores (midterms, quizzes, homework, etc.) going into the final (compared to other students); that none of the other students would do well either on those questions.
So seems that was the case; and Ochka got her A+ because she was still superior to other students.
She wasn't surprised about A in other two courses, but a little surprised about the added + marks.
I have been working on her application to PhD program, and was holding off typing in names of professors she would ask to write recommendation letters. Now, there is no worry about who not to choose !!! :)
I somehow missed this. Congratulations to Ochka. That is quite an accomplishment.
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Thanks to all who offered congratulations to Ochka.
Continuing question concerning RWD.
How can there be only a handful of comments on good things such as this (and similar events concerning other persons) . . . and hundreds of pages devoted to the silly arguments going on in several threads???
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Thanks to all who offered congratulations to Ochka.
Continuing question concerning RWD.
How can there be only a handful of comments on good things such as this (and similar events concerning other persons) . . . and hundreds of pages devoted to the silly arguments going on in several threads???
Simple...because people in general (and certainly many here) tend to dwell on the negative rather than the positive. Why do you think people take such an interest in car, train or plane crashes? Or, as some posters are so fond of telling us on this board, marital "train wrecks?"
There was a thread in July or August 2011 from one of the members asking for comments on positive things which had recently happened in their lives. I replied that I'd been appointed to officiate in a world sports tournament, and every reply from the USA was something snarky about how cricket isn't a world sport - and this from people who didn't even know that they had a national cricket team, let alone that it was (at that stage) performing quite well in its division of the World Cricket League! And how many of them know that the USA is ranked number one in women's football (soccer)?
There surely have to be positive things coming out of the RWD world other than Ochka's amazing results.
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Thanks to all who offered congratulations to Ochka.
Let me offer my congratulations to Ochka too. It's nice to see that your life is good ML. Keep it up :D
Continuing question concerning RWD.
How can there be only a handful of comments on good things such as this (and similar events concerning other persons) . . . and hundreds of pages devoted to the silly arguments going on in several threads???
I guess for many people here, good news is bad news and vice versa.
Interestingly, it seems the opposite situation occurs on Facebook.
But there is one advantage of this situation on RWD that you describe. If you decide not to partake in endless silly discussions or even read them, you save an awful lot of time that is put to much better use in living a real life.
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Thanks to all who offered congratulations to Ochka.
Continuing question concerning RWD.
How can there be only a handful of comments on good things such as this (and similar events concerning other persons) . . . and hundreds of pages devoted to the silly arguments going on in several threads???
Not really strange. What you call silly isn't necessarily silly to others. For instance, I think it is silly that people complain about not getting more accolades.
You may not and that is ok by me. :thumbsup:
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. . . I think it is silly that people complain about not getting more accolades.
But you know I was not complaining regarding myself.
I was complaining for a woman who is up on that pedestal along with all (most) other FSUW according to many here.
The FSUW are put on the pedestal when nothing is known about them individually. But here we have a real life FSUW who deserves to be put on the pedestal and receive a multitude of congratulations.
Even some monetary gifts would be appropriate.
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And speaking of monetary gifts . . . I noted briefly in another thread how Ochka had spent a small fortune of her own money on a red dress for a New Year's Eve party.
So she really could use a replenishment.
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And speaking of monetary gifts . . . I noted briefly in another thread how Ochka had spent a small fortune of her own money on a red dress for a New Year's Eve party.
So she really could use a replenishment.
Looks like advertising pays off! Same dress as the one on display in the background? ;D
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I guess for many people here, good news is bad news and vice versa.
Amplifying on that, since time immemorial people have always liked drama, as the Greek well knew and even came up with a name (catharsis) as a justification for it, i.e. a sort of emotional enema ;).
Have you ever wondered why songs about troubled love stories outnumber 10:1 - or more - those about happy love stories ;D?
BTW, tell Ochka Well done! :clapping:
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And speaking of monetary gifts . . . I noted briefly in another thread how Ochka had spent a small fortune of her own money on a red dress for a New Year's Eve party.
So she really could use a replenishment.
I'm getting rather worried about that skin affliction, ML - it seems to have been there for quite some time. I hope you have a high quality dermatologist on call. :sad:
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Thanks to all who offered congratulations to Ochka.
Congratulations to Ochka.
I must admit I haven't been reading this thread from beginning but I am intrigued by the name 'Ochka'.
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Congratulations to Ochka, such hard work and dedication.
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We are now the proud owners of a townhouse a five minute walk from the Irish Sea.
Just what I needed . . . more real estate.
But Ochka wanted it.
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We are now the proud owners of a townhouse a five minute walk from the Irish Sea.
(http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTkwOTgyODMzNF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwODM1MTY5._V1_SX214_.jpg)
;D?
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Yeah Sandro, that sort of dropped from nowhere, I now realize.
I thought I had posted here about it before, but just found I had put it in the Experienced Section.
I repost the original info here from my 17 Sept posting:
Anyone here from Ireland or own any real estate in Ireland?
Ukrainian friend of mine now living in Ireland telling me about a 2 bedroom, 2 bath unit available in his complex which is about 6 years old and in prime condition.
These units sold for over $225,000 pre-crisis, and now this one can be had for $100,000. Death of elderly owner, and heirs want to sell out quickly.
Prices are still depressed in Ireland (as in many other countries) and perhaps more so than other countries because Irish banks are still not making home loans.
Ochka and I are thinking of buying it together and will pay cash.
Will use it as a vacation home, and maybe rent it out part of the year.
The friend will manage it for us and Ochka has a distant relative living not too far away also.
On East coast south of Dublin in County Wicklow only about half a mile from sea.
Wonder if they have any good beer nearby.
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Actually it has two and a half bathrooms.
Each bedroom on second floor has its own private bath; and the lower level has a room with stool and wash sink.
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Wonder if they have any good beer nearby.
They should. We'll call you O'Ml and O'Ochka henceforth ;D.
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Speaking of which . . .
Two Irish nuns were sitting at a set of traffic lights in their car, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulled up alongside of them.
"Hey, show us your tits, ye bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
The Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculata, "I don't think they know who we are - show them your cross."
So, Sister Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Screw off ye little fookin wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"
Sister Immaculata looks back at the Mother Superior and asks, "Was that cross enough?"
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Hey ML...
When are you going to change your name here to MF??? ;)
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On East coast south of Dublin in County Wicklow only about half a mile from sea.
Congratulations! You are only about 20 minutes from a fine golf course, Druids Glen. Modern construction and similar to Augusta, so a good break from the links courses. The 13th from the back tees is one of the most difficult par fours in the world. I was the only one in my foursome to finish the hole, and took a bogey. Others dropped out well before reaching the green.
Click on "Course Map" in this link
http://www.druidsglenresort.com/golf-courses/druids-glen/
Wonder if they have any good beer nearby.
Joking again. ;D Pubs will be everywhere. "The Irish pub is the sanctuary where the soul is comforted and nourished." The bartender will take 5-7 minutes to pour your first Guiness. Meanwhile you will have met everyone in the pub, of who at least two will have a cousin living near your home in America. The Irish pub is where grandfather, dad and son as well as mom can have a good time. Yes, a sanctuary.
(http://scm-l3.technorati.com/10/08/25/16911/Picture-14.png)
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Actually it has two and a half bathrooms.
Each bedroom on second floor has its own private bath; and the lower level has a room with stool and wash sink.
Is this a three-storey unit, ML? Don't forget that, once you leave the USA, other English-speaking countries start from the "ground" floor!
And what do you mean by "stool?" An actual stool, that you can pick up and put in another room (or sit on to milk the cow), or a properly plumbed toilet?
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Two stories or floors. First floor has large living room with fireplace containing wood heating stove, large combined kitchen dining room, and the room with apparatus to pee and poop in and then another contraption to wash hands in.
Second floor has two good sized bedrooms with private bathrooms.
Good amount of closet and storage space on each floor.
Back yard is fenced with tiled patio, another area of boarded flooring with picnic type table, tiny amount of grassed area, area for small garden, storage building and oil storage tank. Behind that a public forest which we pray will stay undeveloped.
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Two stories or floors. First floor has large living room with fireplace containing wood heating stove, large combined kitchen dining room, and the room with apparatus to pee and poop in and then another contraption to wash hands in.
Second floor has two good sized bedrooms with private bathrooms.
Good amount of closet and storage space on each floor.
Back yard is fenced with tiled patio, another area of boarded flooring with picnic type table, tiny amount of grassed area, area for small garden, storage building and oil storage tank. Behind that a public forest which we pray will stay undeveloped.
Sounds absolutely idyllic!
Are there any more going? One of my brothers lives not too far from there - maybe I should get him to buy me one as well!
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Yes, I saw many for sale signs on several streets as I was driven around by my friend and Ochka's relative.
As I noted, these townhouses (and most other properties I presume) can be had for prices one half that which existed before the housing bubble burst.
But not much available in way of bank loans, so cash is king.
Prices in Dublin did increase 5-7% in 2013, but not much in the rest of the country. Ireland, however, is recovering pretty well and some forecasts suggest it will continue to do better than many European countries.
So we expect to double our money in 4-5 years!!!
But actually, not really thinking of that. Will be a vacation spot for us, and maybe later a source of income. Most importantly, it will help Ochka diversify her investment portfolio.
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My Beloved Ochka is now gone from me.
For many complicated reasons, it is quite likely we shall never see each other again.
She has been in serious turmoil for several months over the situation in Ukraine, and it has gotten worse in the past several weeks, of course.
Ochka has close relatives who have been called up from reserves to active military, and she fears for their lives.
She, like most other Ukrainian women, took required nursing courses during her University education. And she now feels that she should take refresher courses and volunteer for this type of duty. She wants to stand arm to arm with other women who will try to prevent bloodshed when invaders attack the Ukrainian men.
Ochka was within two months of finishing her coursework for a masters degree. Because she was a top student, the University and her professors have agreed to let her complete exams via Internet connections (take exams during Skype sessions, etc.). But, there is some doubt that she will actually be able to keep up with the needed study, etc.
I have been totally sick and heartbroken since she left early this morning; and haven't been able to eat anything yet.
She has called from two airports and has uncontrolled sobbing from being apart from me; and wonders what is actually the correct action to take.
Ochka had planned for a trip last Christmas, and had (since that time) already been planning for this trip as a replacement for the missed Christmas trip. But the recent events caused this trip and the outlook for our future to take a terrible turn.
My hatred for the 'Russian Soul' grows stronger with each minute.
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ML,
I cannot imagine the heartbreak that the two of you are experiencing. I pray for her well being and that you two will find each other again, soon. While this is a time of great uncertainty (and great sorrow) it is my belief that the worst is behind us.
Godspeed Ochka!
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My Beloved Ochka is now gone from me.
For many complicated reasons, it is quite likely we shall never see each other again.
She has been in serious turmoil for several months over the situation in Ukraine, and it has gotten worse in the past several weeks, of course.
Ochka has close relatives who have been called up from reserves to active military, and she fears for their lives.
She, like most other Ukrainian women, took required nursing courses during her University education. And she now feels that she should take refresher courses and volunteer for this type of duty. She wants to stand arm to arm with other women who will try to prevent bloodshed when invaders attack the Ukrainian men.
Ochka was within two months of finishing her coursework for a masters degree. Because she was a top student, the University and her professors have agreed to let her complete exams via Internet connections (take exams during Skype sessions, etc.). But, there is some doubt that she will actually be able to keep up with the needed study, etc.
I have been totally sick and heartbroken since she left early this morning; and haven't been able to eat anything yet.
She has called from two airports and has uncontrolled sobbing from being apart from me; and wonders what is actually the correct action to take.
Ochka had planned for a trip last Christmas, and had (since that time) already been planning for this trip as a replacement for the missed Christmas trip. But the recent events caused this trip and the outlook for our future to take a terrible turn.
My hatred for the 'Russian Soul' grows stronger with each minute.
ML, I totally empathize with you. My fiancee is a resident of Luhansk, and the situation there is going south fast. I implored her (a Ukrainian patriot, despite being a Russian-speaker) to pack a suitcase each for her and her teenage daughter and get on a train for Lviv, where I would meet her and support her and her daughter as they undertook to build their lives there. We have visited Lviv a few times; she's familiar with the city and really likes it. However, she now tells me that she is used to conforming to negative situations...as a teenager, in the Soviet Union, and later, in the increasingly corrupt and impoverished 'independent' Ukraine. I replied that if Luhansk gets absorbed into Russia, we may never see each other, for a long time or...forever. I am awaiting her response.
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ML-- so sorry to read this.
FWIW-- the emotions of the current situation in Ukraine is overpowering in so many ways that for those without direct connection will have trouble understanding.
In the past I have been "sympathetic" of Russia in a general sense-- but now feel only intense anger at the complete and utter stupidity of Putin and cronies.
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My Beloved Ochka is now gone from me.
For many complicated reasons, it is quite likely we shall never see each other again.
Sorry to hear that, ML. I suppose this just highlights how fragile these relationships tend to be. They can end because of any of the reasons domestic relationships end, plus a host of other reasons particular to international relationships.
My hatred for the 'Russian Soul' grows stronger with each minute.
I can imagine that.
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I am in shock. It was a sudden move. She gave up (temporarily) a man who loves her and the award of her MS degree. I say "temporarily" because things will change, and I anticipate her return when the dust eventually settles and a fluid situation stabilizes. Keep your chin up, and hats off to Ochka's patriotism.
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I am really sorry to hear about your trouble. Don't give up hope!
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Stop crying over your beer.
Get on a goddamn plane and be with her.
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Stop crying over your beer.
Get on a goddamn plane and be with her.
:applaud:
Hell yeah! My thoughts exactly....ML should've been on that plane with her to begin with. I haven't commented on this thread about this recent development as yet since I first wanted to wait until Air Supply stopped playing on the radio and the violin brigade passed by.
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:applaud:
Hell yeah! My thoughts exactly....ML should've been on that plane with her to begin with. I haven't commented on this thread about this recent development as yet since I first wanted to wait until Air Supply stopped playing on the radio and the violin brigade passed by.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBMYow46LxQ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBMYow46LxQ)
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Stop crying over your beer.
Get on a goddamn plane and be with her.
That is actually a pretty good idea. And ML you have contacts and the ability to get things done, I bet you could help out majorly in some way.
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Get on a goddamn plane and be with her.
Very noble. The gender reversal of a Decembrist wife who followed her husband after the 19th C rebellion failed. Some wives went into exile with their husbands, others went to his place of incarceration.
One difference, ML's woman is neither exiled nor incarcerated (yet). What can ML do while there? Being a man, maybe ML can take up arms, singing Ukrainian patriotic songs around campfires at night. Or maybe he becomes a frontline journalist.
How many of you guys would do that? Having been in armed conflict (without ever firing my weapon), I would not.
My guess is that the transition will be bloodless, followed by a very long period of unresolved posturing. ML could go there for a month or two and hang out in her apartment, but what if ML's woman decides not to return to the USA?
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For many complicated reasons, it is quite likely we shall never see each other again.
Give this a little thought fella's.
It certainly involves the impossibility of my going to Ukraine.
Why? Well give that some thought also.
And I recently have supplied very substantial monetary support to a medical facility in Ukraine.
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Give this a little thought fella's.
It certainly involves the impossibility of my going to Ukraine.
Why? Well give that some thought also.
And I recently have supplied very substantial monetary support to a medical facility in Ukraine.
Regardless of what these others proclaim, I don't blame you. I wouldn't go either. She made a decision that you'll both live with whether you reunite or not. Love her, support her, wish her well. But, if I were you, I'd be doing it from the home-20. She come back if she's wants. Maybe if she does, you'll make an honest woman of her?
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Give this a little thought fella's.
It certainly involves the impossibility of my going to Ukraine.
Why? Well give that some thought also.
And I recently have supplied very substantial monetary support to a medical facility in Ukraine.
I'm not aware of your personal situation that would make the 'idea' an impossibility for you.
There definitely is some projections there from my vantage point to yours.
Me, being me, myself and I. My being 'there' close to her, especially in this particular time and place, is likely worth a helluva more than unleashing my uncanny abilities and abundance of skill and subjecting each of these Russian marauders from ever advancing one step closer from where they came from with one swift, eye-blinding fast sexy whirly fury.
No, of course not. That wouldn't be fair to Putin. So that isn't the point.
Your Ochka deciding to go is a *natural* response for someone who cares about people in their lives. Had she been my wife and found the urgency to go, and me being in the same *state*, life-wise as you - a billionaire, and don't need to work and stick around to make sure I'm home to donate a premium on Obama(s)care - I would've been on that plane with her and wouldn't find myself having the need to blow the dust off an Air Supply CD and cozy up with a glass of wine at home, alone.
"I'm lying alone with my head on the phone...thinking of you till it hurts..."
I'm not taking anything away from you, but it's something I would do per like situations.
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Hell,
Obviously there is more in play then Putin's misdeeds. I can understand that. I hope you all can, too. However, what GQ and Muzh and Slumba all have to say has some merit.
If it were me, and my gal left me, for whatever reason, I wouldn't be crying into my cups. Hop on a plane and go help in your own way - maybe not even letting Ochka know that you are doing it until it is already a done deed.
But, then, we are not you. There may be other things in play that we know absolutely nothing about. For all we know, you encouraged her leaving and did so for unselfish reasons. If that is the case, you have all of our support.
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Regardless of what these others proclaim, I don't blame you. I wouldn't go either. She made a decision that you'll both live with whether you reunite or not. Love her, support her, wish her well. But, if I were you, I'd be doing it from the home-20. She come back if she's wants. Maybe if she does, you'll make an honest woman of her?
Yeahhhhh I guess not :-\
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Yeahhhhh I guess not :-\
Maybe ML deserves some slack. He was the confirmed bachelor for years (decades?). His mission in life was to enable G-spot orgasms.
Then we read here his two-year metamorphosis. He fell in love. It was not the ML of old. He was building a life with her, even buying property.
And poof! ..... She's gone.
Even if Ochka returned, the forefront of his mind will say, "You left me when I thought the two of us had something very special."
Back to the G-spot campaign.
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But, then, we are not you. There may be other things in play that we know absolutely nothing about. For all we know, you encouraged her leaving and did so for unselfish reasons. If that is the case, you have all of our support.
Maybe the statue of limitations in Ukraine is short? ;)
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Maybe ML deserves some slack. He was the confirmed bachelor for years (decades?). His mission in life was to enable G-spot orgasms.
Then we read here his two-year metamorphosis. He fell in love. It was not the ML of old. He was building a life with her, even buying property.
And poof! ..... She's gone.
Even if Ochka returned, the forefront of his mind will say, "You left me when I thought the two of us had something very special."
Back to the G-spot campaign.
Maybe he does, maybe not. I'm not speculating either way. I hope it turns out for him the way he wants it to. I do wish him the best. I'm not drilling or condemning him.
However, I'm not buying the forlorn heartbroken puppy bit. By all of ML's accounts on these boards Ochka was a wonderful woman. She and ML enjoyed each other very much. It would not be surprising to me at least, that she may have been looking for something more. Didn't get it or find it and returned to Ukraine. I'm relatively sure ML has his reasons why he chose to remain single with such a good woman in his life. I too, made that same choice a couple of times albeit with AW.
Maybe she did feel a streak of patriotism or maybe she didn't see the relationship progressing enough to please her. C'est la vie
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I'm relatively sure ML has his reasons why he chose to remain single with such a good woman in his life.
I almost 100% sure it was the bread.
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As usual, some are veering off into fantasy land with their proclamations of what happened.
But a review of my past posting and careful reading of current posting should help those who want to actually keep the story in focus.
I posted back in December that Ochka had cancelled a long planned for trip at Christmas.
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=11839.msg350901#msg350901
This current trip was originally planned to be nothing other than a replacement for that cancelled December trip.
Ochka had planned for a trip last Christmas, and had (since that time) already been planning for this trip as a replacement for the missed Christmas trip. But the recent events caused this trip and the outlook for our future to take a terrible turn.
It was the Russian invasion that changed everything.
But, it is likely that my statement was a little bit over the top, in my state at the time I posted the below.
Quote from: ML on March 11, 2014, 06:28:21 PM For many complicated reasons, it is quite likely we shall never see each other again.
As for marriage, it is understandable given the vast majority of situations here that most cannot comprehend the idea of non-marriage because it is a necessity for getting the gals here (or at least allowing them to stay.)
But think a little out of the box, and factor in Ochka's unique situation.
She has a small fortune in money of her own . . . she doesn't need mine.
She is here on a student visa and doesn't need to get married to stay here.
She has passed PhD qualifying exams and could get another visa for 5 years if she wanted.
As a masters graduate in a STEM area, she can get a USA work permit and extensions good for 29 months.
During this 29 months, she can quite likely get into the H1B visa situation good for 5-7 years.
Many in the H1B category are successful in getting change of status to permanent green card.
Several bills in Congress (none passed yet) will give green cards to those with masters or PhD from USA universities in STEM areas.
As there are many divorced persons here . . . all should agree that marriage is not the ideal situation for men or women.
Only the necessity to get married to keep your gals here is what focuses you on the goal of marriage. Plus the desire for child and spouse protection if children are planned.
I bet that many (most) of you guys here would be ecstatic if you could have your current or planned gals here on a permanent basis . . . without marriage.
Oh but wait . . . we must hear from the Saints. 8)
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As usual, some are veering off into fantasy land with their proclamations of what happened.
But a review of my past posting and careful reading of current posting should help those who want to actually keep the story in focus.
I posted back in December that Ochka had cancelled a long planned for trip at Christmas.
No actually ML it is what you posted more recently that tends to be taken as more current
My Beloved Ochka is now gone from me.
For many complicated reasons, it is quite likely we shall never see each other again.
She has been in serious turmoil for several months over the situation in Ukraine, and it has gotten worse in the past several weeks, of course.
Ochka has close relatives who have been called up from reserves to active military, and she fears for their lives.
She, like most other Ukrainian women, took required nursing courses during her University education. And she now feels that she should take refresher courses and volunteer for this type of duty. She wants to stand arm to arm with other women who will try to prevent bloodshed when invaders attack the Ukrainian men.
Ochka was within two months of finishing her coursework for a masters degree. Because she was a top student, the University and her professors have agreed to let her complete exams via Internet connections (take exams during Skype sessions, etc.). But, there is some doubt that she will actually be able to keep up with the needed study, etc.
I have been totally sick and heartbroken since she left early this morning; and haven't been able to eat anything yet.
She has called from two airports and has uncontrolled sobbing from being apart from me; and wonders what is actually the correct action to take.
Ochka had planned for a trip last Christmas, and had (since that time) already been planning for this trip as a replacement for the missed Christmas trip. But the recent events caused this trip and the outlook for our future to take a terrible turn.
My hatred for the 'Russian Soul' grows stronger with each minute.
Your words ML, not mine
So which is it? She leaves you, a PHD degree in which she has worked so hard, a condo in Ireland, A happy fulfilled a breadless life, possible future (or not) with you to be a nurse on the front lines of a war that hasn't yet happened in Ukraine. Yeah, okay, I'll buy it :rolleyes:
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As usual, some are veering off into fantasy land with their proclamations of what happened.
There is a good way to stop this. Just tell what the complications are. Its not like you don't have the time or any subject between you two is to personal.
Sure you could lie.....but I have never believed thats how you roll.
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As there are many divorced persons here . . . all should agree that marriage is not the ideal situation for men or women.
Only the necessity to get married to keep your gals here is what focuses you on the goal of marriage. Plus the desire for child and spouse protection if children are planned.
I bet that many (most) of you guys here would be ecstatic if you could have your current or planned gals here on a permanent basis . . . without marriage.
Oh but wait . . . we must hear from the Saints. 8)
I am no Saint yet I still disagree. And I have multiple divorces. The divorces do not bother me because they are part of what got me to where I am today. And I am happy today, and have been for 99.9% of my life.
I have many friends and deem myself a reasonable observer of life. I can state unequivocally that my married friends are the happiest (on average as there are some outliers on both sides).
Regarding me, I am a family man and I rejoice in the sense of commitment I derive from being married. Its called going "all in."
I hypothesize that if you and Ochka were married, the odds would increase that you would see her again.
Not to worry, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and you seem capable of finding fine female companionship in an arrangement that suits you. Keep in mind that one day you will outlive your penis and will still want something profoundly rich that involves a life partner, presumably a woman. Why not find that now and keep it?! The alternative is to die in your own piss and shit.
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As there are many divorced persons here . . . all should agree that marriage is not the ideal situation for men or women.
Being married to my wife and having just brought our first child into this world eight weeks ago, I can honestly say that I feel my life, my marriage is ideal.
Only the necessity to get married to keep your gals here is what focuses you on the goal of marriage. Plus the desire for child and spouse protection if children are planned.
Nope. I was absolutely, 100% positive I wanted to marry my wife before I proposed. She is as fine a woman as they come and I was not going to let her get away.
I bet that many (most) of you guys here would be ecstatic if you could have your current or planned gals here on a permanent basis . . . without marriage.
This is true for most. I will agree that it would've been nice to bring my wife here before we made the decision to marry. But she wouldn't have agreed. Not to live anyway. She was happy with her life in Russia and never planned to live anywhere but there. But even bringing her here for a visit and to meet my friends and family would have been advantageous.
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I bet that many (most) of you guys here would be ecstatic if you could have your current or planned gals here on a permanent basis . . . without marriage.
Oh but wait . . . we must hear from the Saints. 8)
I just saw this thanks to DogSpot.
I am foolish in this respect. I like being married. I enjoy the married life. I means much to me.
I was single until I was 37. I can claim I lost count of how many and not care what people would think because I know I'm not exaggerating.
AND in all honesty, I don't miss it. At all!!!
After 14 years, I'm thrilled coming home to my wife.
But then again, that's just me. ;D
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Ochka is now saying she cannot be away from me.
She is hoping the situation in Ukraine continues to cool a bit, so that she can return to USA without feeling like she abandoned Ukraine in its moment of need.
And her parents are STRONGLY urging her to go back to USA.
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OMG - - - It finally happened. After suppressing her desire for two and a half years, Ochka finally wanted those dreaded $400 deal-breaker leather boots!!
But the good news . . . she ordered and paid for them herself.
I didn't even know about her purchase until she modeled them for me.
And no, she does not wear that miniskirt to school or anywhere outside our property. The ones she wears to school are much shorter.
Ochka should visit TJ Maxx stores more often, especially the ones that have "Runway" department.
Only $150, discounted from $800+, designer, french-made, leather lining and soles, non-slip rubber inserts on soles:
(http://s020.radikal.ru/i722/1404/4a/71e22bfa7649.jpg)
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Ochka is now saying she cannot be away from me.
She is hoping the situation in Ukraine continues to cool a bit, so that she can return to USA without feeling like she abandoned Ukraine in its moment of need.
And her parents are STRONGLY urging her to go back to USA.
I also urge her to return to USA ASAP, because the war with Russia may start any moment, and then the borders may get closed. The Ukrainian Parliament voted yesterday for the law to limit the movement of individuals to and from Crimea, also the executive order was issued yesterday on the anti-terrorist operation in Eastern Ukraine. There are serious discussions about introducing the state of emergency in Eastern Ukraine. If there will be the state of emergency, it might be difficult to travel to or out of this region.
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Ochka should visit TJ Maxx stores more often, especially the ones that have "Runway" department.
Only $150, discounted from $800+, designer, french-made, leather lining and soles, non-slip rubber inserts on soles:
(http://s020.radikal.ru/i722/1404/4a/71e22bfa7649.jpg)
Mies, thanks for the info.
We have been to TJM before, but must not have been one with 'Runway' because didn't see any of the boots you mentioned.
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I also urge her to return to USA ASAP, because the war with Russia may start any moment, and then the borders may get closed. The Ukrainian Parliament voted yesterday for the law to limit the movement of individuals to and from Crimea, also the executive order was issued yesterday on the anti-terrorist operation in Eastern Ukraine. There are serious discussions about introducing the state of emergency in Eastern Ukraine. If there will be the state of emergency, it might be difficult to travel to or out of this region.
Mies, thanks for your words.
Actually, Ochka is on the plane to return to USA today.
She will be here in time to take final exams for her masters program in two weeks.
We will also be applying for her 12 month EAD card (employment authorization document) which is fairly automatic for F-1 visa holders, plus STEM graduates can fairly automatically get 17 month extension for total of 29 months employment authorization.
As soon as her finals are over, we are going to rent a large motor home and spend a month traveling around parts of USA. I want to show her a lot of the 'natural wonders.'
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Mies, thanks for the info.
We have been to TJM before, but must not have been one with 'Runway' because didn't see any of the boots you mentioned.
YVW!
http://tjmaxx.tjx.com/store/jump/category/the-runway/cat830005p
P.S. the ability to make yummi chocolate cakes gets better with time :-)
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P.S. the ability to make yummi chocolate cakes gets better with time :-)
Well, I know that many abilities do get better with time!!
One of them is ability to improvise in cooking . . . when needed.
I know some people (like me) panic if some food item or ingredient is not available; while others can say . . . let's try this as a substitute.
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Easter 2014
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Easter 2014
Mate, you REALLY need to get her to that dermatologist! ;D
On a more serious note, I'm glad that she's safely back with you.
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We just finished a 31 day trip through many western states in a rented RV.
Denver, Colorado Springs (Pikes Peak, Garden of Gods, Air Force Academy, Broadmoor Hotel), Taos, Grand Canyon, Las Vegas (Ochka quadrupled her money at roulette wheel, although it wasn't huge money), Los Angeles, Sequoia, Yosemite, San Francisco, Lake Tahoe, Zion, Bryce Canyon, Canyonlands National Park, Arches National Park, Rocky Mountains.
Ochka drove the 25 foot RV along some twisting, narrow roads . . . a real trooper. She was a perfect traveling companion . . . no complaints, handled all 'set backs' with ease (I didn't), cooked many meals in the RV, quickly mastered the task of water and electrical hook ups, and even the 'dump' system; and still dressed up to look like a million bucks when we dined out.
She is still glowing after the trip and talking a mile a minute on Skype reviewing the details with friends and family.
We escaped Colorado before the hail and snow there, but got right in the middle of the 100 degree temperatures in California.
It snowed at Grand Canyon, but only a little and didn't stick.
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You didn't happen to stay at the Overlook Hotel, did you?
I hear it's ok, as long as you stay away from room 237.
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You didn't happen to stay at the Overlook Hotel, did you?
I hear it's ok, as long as you stay away from room 237.
We were there and met Stephen, Jack, and Stanley.
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She is still glowing after the trip and talking a mile a minute on Skype reviewing the details with friends and family.
Based on some of the places you visited, I'm not surprised. My wife didn't like the idea of a road trip the first time I brought it up but after seeing some of the national parks she thinks it's the best part of the vacation.
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Guess where this is?
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The gambler.
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Great to read the update. I was wondering what had happened to you 2 !!
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Glad to see things are back on track.
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First time in the Pacific.
It is never warm.
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Yes, it is Grand; and it was chilly.
Ochka knows how to wear babuska head-dress.
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Life is good.
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Guess where this is?
Santa Monica Boulevard, (West) LA, CA. Between Sunset and Melrose. Corner of Ogden Ave. A half-mile from Traktir Restuarant.
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Santa Monica Boulevard, (West) LA, CA. Between Sunset and Melrose. Corner of Ogden Ave. A half-mile from Traktir Restuarant.
Don't remember the exact cross streets and corners but; yep that is it. Ochka got a big kick out of it, and took the picture.
We were touring around looking at the places that I worked and went to university.
Interestingly (or not), I worked at One Wilshire Blvd in downtown LA and at 9100 Wilshire Blvd in Beverly Hills.
There was a great Jewish Delicatessen within a couple of blocks of 9100, but it was no longer there.
I also belonged to the Beverly Hills YMCA at 9930 Santa Monica Blvd and played basketball there during lunch hour.
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That may well have been Canter's, one of the *more* popular Jewish Deli in LA. It's subjective of course. Other JDs are Langer's, Brents, and Jerry's. There are others but since I'm not Jewish, I'm not too keen in all of them. Of those in the list, I really like Brent's the best.
IIRC, you once mentioned living in either Sherman Oaks/Encino. There's a Russian/Russian-speaking community there (and growing) and I think bigger than in west LA. Wonderful restaurant along Ventura Blvd called 'Eurasia' (Ukrainian/Russian/Uzbekistan). Incredibly delicious items on their menus and rated *A* best 2014 based on Yelp reviews. It faces one of the more 'complete' Russian market I know in LA called Rasputin. We just ate at Eurasia and went to the market to pick up pickled herring and Kvass...
Did you guys go on the west rim in Grand Canyon from Vegas, or did you hit GC first before LV? The west rim is where you have the Skywalk (http://www.google.com/search?q=skywalk+grand+canyon&client=firefox-a&hs=STW&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&channel=sb&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=wqCMU77sBoH-oQT8xoLYDw&ved=0CEAQsAQ&biw=1536&bih=811) and you would've found yourself warmly welcomed by the Hualapai tribe.
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When I lived in Sherman Oaks . . . way back when . . . I had no knowledge of anything Russian . . . except the cold war. So I never knew of any restaurants, etc. there.
We did go to my house there to take some pictures. And, it just happened that the current owner lady came out to get in her car to leave. I told her who I was and about my previous ownership; we had a nice chat.
I had purchased the small ranch style house for $40,000 and resold it in 5 years for $120,000. Thought I had made a killing. Now she tells me she has offers for $900,000 which would be just for the land. The original houses all around (built soon after WWII) have been torn down and new two story monsters built that sell for $2.5 mil and up.
Regarding Grand Canyon, we just did the standard entrance from the East (we drove across northern New Mexico and Arizona) to visit the South rim. Ochka has a hard time even standing near the railings, so I knew she would never have walked out on the glass thingy further to the west . . . and probably I wouldn't have either!!
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Ochka has been working via Skype with a friend in Kyiv who is knowledgeable in real estate.
She is going to Kyiv soon to finalize a deal to purchase a 3 room, 2 bath apartment, plus kitchen and hall ways of course. In USA, we would call it a 2 BR, 2 bath unit with living room and kitchen.
It is in the new development called Green Island 2 and is across street from the new USA Embassy and bordering the huge Nyvky Park. It consists of four 24 story buildings and is about 70 percent sold out. Final touches on common areas and landscaping are nearing completion. There is a Green Island 1 nearby which is already sold out, finished and filled with owners/tennants, except some office space still available on first floor.
This will be for investment purpose for Ochka. As per the standard, these apartment units are sold as shells. Exterior doors and windows installed, electric wires hanging out walls and ceilings, plumbing pipes stubbed off, etc. She and her deceased husband finished off one of these previously, so she has experience managing the process. Relatives and friends are going to do most of the finishing work for her.
Anyone know anything about these Green Island developments?
Those of you who have been to the new USA Embassy on Sikorsky street know of the area.
Seems like a 'no brainer' to purchase newly completed apartments near the embassy and Nyvky park now.
http://build.kovalska.com/en/
http://kovalska.com/en/residential-complexes
http://newkiev.com.ua/en/novostroyki/green_island/
http://build.kovalska.com/en/press/news/519/
This is Green Island 1.
http://newkiev.com.ua/en/novostroyki/green_island/
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Only 198 garage parking spots for 4 25-story complexes?
http://www.zagorodna.com/en/analytics/real-estate-prices-have-returned-to-2004.html (http://www.zagorodna.com/en/analytics/real-estate-prices-have-returned-to-2004.html)
Hope they are built better than these:
But Mr Duchovychniy said that in their pursuit of profit developers threw caution to the wind, adding floors to their plans while disregarding the need to strenghten foundations.
The result has been a slew of complaints about cracks in the walls, leaky basements and heating breakdowns reported in local media ever since the first residents moved in three years ago.http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2423723/Kievs-millionaires-ghost-town-left-Ukrainian-economy-crashed.html
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Ochka just got word that her cousin's husband suffered two wounds in military action in Eastern Ukraine.
He is colonel in Ukrainian army. Pieces of steel rather than lead, so don't know exactly from what; some explosive device.
One piece of metal in his leg. A physician dug it out in the field with no anesthesia. He admitted screaming big time.
The other piece of metal is in his back, but luckily not near the spine. He is in military hospital now, waiting for surgery to remove this piece of metal.
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If he got it in the Buttocks, he could meet President Johnson.
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If he got it in the Buttocks
Does one get a Purple Arse for that ;D.
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Ochka went back to Kyiv Saturday. We worked on her visa online renewal before she left USA. She did the final click to submit from Ukraine Sunday.
There is a fairly new procedure that certain existing visa holders (student and tourist) can submit all the other documents required via courier and do not have to go to US Embassy. The contracted courier is TNT . . . what a name!
Anyway, she got the documents to TNT Monday, and there is supposed to be a week turn around time for these courier submittals.
I think they are using the courier service just to cut down on the number of people who are traipsing in and around the US Embassy.
She is applying for a visa renewal to continue in USA on the OPT program that all International students are eligible for after completing a degree in USA. She already has approval for the OPT part and has the EAD card. The OPT program is for 12 months, and students with degrees in the STEM areas (which she has) can get a 17 month extension.
We are not sure if she is going to come back to USA, or if I am going to go and stay there for several months. But anyway, this will give us some options, if she gets the visa renewal.
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As it turns out TNT is a worldwide delivery service of documents and freight. In Kiev their office location changed last year. As I understand it, all US Embassy visas and documents are sent via TNT. Once we found the new office location it was a piece of cake and the lady running the place is very nice and efficient.
AERO'EXPRESS (TNT EXPRESS UKRAINE). 1, Brovarska Str., Kyiv region,
Prolisky, 08322, Kyiv, 08322, Ukraine Phone: + 38 044 207 0770. Fax: + 38 044
207 ...
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As it turns out TNT is a worldwide delivery service of documents and freight.
Another success story which started down-under (unfortunately we can't claim it - that honour definitely belongs to Australia). Ken Thomas founded what became Thomas Nationwide Transport in 1946 (with one truck). It has grown somewhat since then! :clapping:
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AERO'EXPRESS (TNT EXPRESS UKRAINE). 1, Brovarska Str., Kyiv region,
Prolisky, 08322, Kyiv, 08322, Ukraine Phone: + 38 044 207 0770. Fax: + 38 044
207 ...
According to US Embassy website, the 'express' and preferred location for TNT for the visa info drop off and later visa retrieval is at: Kyiv Dorogozhychi, 6/1, Ryzhska str., Kyiv, 04112
There are other TNT locations in Ukraine, but the one I posted provides fastest service regarding US Embassy business . . . so says the US Embassy website.
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Just to provide some more clarification, in case anyone is reading and wondering about visa applications to visit USA from Ukraine and dealing with US Embassy in Kyiv.
Everyone must fill out the online visa application. And it is best if you upload your photo to the application also. The USA person should work with the Ukrainian person in filling out this application online. Even best if the USA person fills it out, after carefully getting all the needed info from the Ukrainian person.
But the final submission click on signature page should be done by the person in Ukraine. The Embassy knows what ISP that final submission click came from.
Then there are three categories of what happens in next step.
1. For certain visa renewals from certain categories of people who already have 10 fingerprints on file at US Embassy (it is listed out on the US Embassy website), the applicant does not need to schedule an interview at the US Embassy or go to US Embassy at all. Pay fee and submit application electronically and get confirmation number. Fill out a profile sheet on a second website (which requires the number from visa application process and fee receipt number) and get a second on-line confirmation slip for taking passport, proof of fee payment, and other items to a TNT location. In a week, reply will be sent back to TNT for your pickup. The result could be a new visa in your passport . . . or it could be a request for more info and/or to schedule a interview at the US Embassy.
2. For persons in same category as number 1 above (want visa renewal), except they do not have 10 fingerprints on file at US Embassy. Do same as number one up to filling out profile sheet on the second website. Now instead of getting confirmation number to deliver documents to TNT, you get confirmation number to arrive at US Embassy to have 10 fingerprints recorded. But this is not an appointment to have interview. No interview will be needed . . . unless the US Embassy later decides you must come in.
3. For first time visa applicants and those seeking renewal who do not meet the criteria laid on on the various and confusing US Embassy websites; Submit the online visa application; and then complete profile on the second website and apply for an interview date, and get the confirmation number for this interview date. Currently about a 10-12 day lag time for interview dates in Kyiv.
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I should also note that I have no idea how a person living in Ukraine would ever determine that they needed to go to the second website, fill out a profile, and then get a confirmation number to either 1) take documents to TNT, 2) go to US Embassy to have 10 print done, or 3) go to US Embassy for interview.
It took me 4 days to figure it out (not spending full time, of course), and I am pretty good at figuring this stuff out, and English is my native language.
For 3 of those 4 days, I had been telling Ochka that she could simply go to US Embassy on Wednesday afternoons and drop off all her required documents. Because that is what several of the US Embassy websites were indicating.
Not until 4th day, on a completely new (to me) website did I see that no visa applicant can simply 'show up' at the US Embassy on Wednesday afternoons or any other day.
The Wednesday afternoon is only for those giving the 10 fingerprints, and only for those who have gotten the appointment confirmation on the second profile website to come give the fingerprints.
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I see that the procedure has changed in recent years, however, the information ML presents might not work completely for an immigrant visa such as a CR-1 or IR-1? You would still need the medical exam and shots. Besides, NVC schedules the interview, unless that changed also.
Yes, the visa on-line form is an interactive form. The questions are different for everyone. The answer to one question determines the next question. Most of the people who get rejected made some kind of fatal response or combination of responses.
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Yes, Wayne is correct. The number 3 I listed above is for tourist visa, etc.
Nothing I listed would be the complete story for an intending immigrant.
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Ochka has already moved ahead with the purchase of an apartment unit in the complex on Sirorsky street that I mentioned before.
Actually, it is not across the street from US Embassy as I had stated earlier. Across the street is nothing but park. This complex is around the bend in Sirorsky street as it turns in south west direction when moving away from US Embassy going south. So a couple of blocks away.
The bank that the development company uses would exchange her USD to UAH at 11.8 which was a little above the going rate. But, when word got around what she was doing, a friend of a friend set up exchange at another bank that gave her 12 to 1 rate.
But now, she had to cart the USD money (about half the purchase price) to the first bank and then UAH between banks. So a male relative and his male friend went with her. And as a plus, the bank sent a security guard with an automatic weapon to pick them up and do the transfer with them. Probably they should have worried more about this armed guy.
And I can't even imagine how they counted out this much in UAH and made it correct to everyone's satisfaction. I bet they weren't all 'perfect' bills like they demand for USD.
Now she has a week to deliver the rest of the purchase price to receive the 5% discount the developer gives for quick payment.
And as I suspected, she is saying that I would be the perfect person to come to 'finish out' the apartment shell !!
Yes, I could easily do it myself . . . if I had the dozens of hand and power tools that I have here in USA.
Well, I would have to 'read up' on that 220-240 volt stuff. My only experience with it are the runs to electric stove and clothes dryer.
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Sounds like you two are planning out the future nicely. Not sure I followed what your long term plans are, but as I understand it Ochka is buying an apartment in Kiev near the embassy.
If you end up going to Kiev, perhaps Larissa and I can meet up with you guys for a tall cool one.
What are her plans to finish her degrees? US or Ukraine?
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Doug, I noted earlier in the thread that Ochka completed her MS in math with 4.0 GPA in May.
The math faculty, of course, wants her to continue on with PhD program. But, she wants a break from studying, at least for a semester or two. And she really doesn't know what she might want to do about PhD; that's what the break will be for.
She has been approved for the OPT program in USA and has the EAD card for one year of work in USA. She is waiting to hear about her request for renewal of her F-1 visa that she submitted on Monday in Kyiv.
However, she is not really sure if she wants to do that either. But, if she gets the F-1 renewal, the option for her to do it will be there.
Right now, she is totally involved with this new apartment purchase. We had already talked about the option of me going to Ukraine to live for several months rather than her returning to USA for the OPT or PhD.
We also have the apartment in Ireland that we purchased together earlier this year. She hasn't seen it yet. So after she finds out about her F-1 renewal for USA visa (and gets her passport back), then she is going to apply for Irish visa. We would probably go there some time this summer also.
Yes, if I do end up in Kyiv for an extended period, then meetings are possible.
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The "Green Island" residential complex being built by Kovalska Industrial and Construction Group took the 4th place in the rating of new buildings in 2012 which may rightly be considered the best to live in the capital. Such rating was compiled by “Building magazine” in cooperation with the leading players of the residential property market of Kyiv and was officially confirmed by international auditing company «Ernst & Young».
http://kovalska.com/en/news/green-island-was-named-one-best-residential-complexes-kyiv
This was for Green Island phase 1.
Ochka is buying into Green Island phase 2 which is nearby.
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From what I have seen, the electric system in Ukraine does not have the grounded or nuetral white wire that we have here. The plugs mostly have two round prongs. Most people have gas stoves for cooking and no clothes dryer.
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Ochka did get her second F-1 visa.
The turn around time using the TNT courier service was just one week. Well, one week and part of a day.
She got email notification from US Embassy late Monday that her packet was ready for pick up at the TNT office. But the dick heads didn't say in the email if her visa was approved or not.
So Ochka still had a lot of anxiety until she went to TNT office Tuesday.
Then, a big surprise, because she got a 3 year visa, when we had only asked for a 1 year visa in the on-line application form. Only asked for a 1 year because that was the time frame on the OPT approval and on her EAD card.
So I have no real idea whey they gave her the 3 year visa. But nice to have.
Now she is going to apply for Irish visitors visa.
Should help having the new 3 year USA visa in her passport along with the previous 3 year USA visa and her several trips back and forth from USA to Ukraine.
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This week Ochka has been getting more USD out of her various accounts. The plan was to convert to UAH soon to pay remainder due on her apartment purchase.
Today, I told her to not wait too long to convert because IMF just completed month long review and gave tentative indication that approval would come for next billion or so relief money to Ukraine. This will likely lead to strengthening of UAH (unless this plane situation pushes UAH in other direction).
She surprised me by saying that she and her 'body guards' had already gone to the same financial institution as before on Friday and converted at rate of 11.95. That was a great rate compared to the 11.6 rate I had seen on the charts.
In another oddity, she is at relatives now and they will go to another bank on SUNDAY to get out money from two accounts the relatives received money into. This money was auto converted to UAH earlier and has been in interest bearing accounts. With this UAH, she will pay off the final amount due on her apartment Monday or Tuesday.
This bank is not open on Saturdays, but is open on Sundays.
I will be glad when this purchase of the shell apartment is finally done as it has given me a headache (even from a distance) trying to keep up with all the things involved and the various bank accounts with mix of USD and UAH.
If you think buying and selling a house is complicated in USA; try out Ukraine. Perhaps the paperwork part is not that much different, but when you are transferring money across borders, dealing with mix of USD and UAH, then . . .
Of course the job of finishing out the apartment is still to come.
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Against all medical advice . . . I will be leaving USA Sunday to go first to Ireland and then to Ukraine.
Ochka and I will both arrive in Dublin on Sunday. She is coming in from Kyiv. We will meet at airport and then her relative is going to drive us down south to the apartment that Ockha and I purchased earlier. She is quite excited to see it, having never done so yet.
The place has been rented out to a nice couple from Lithuania that her relative works with. But they were nice enough to go back home to Lithuania for a couple of weeks while Ochka and I are there.
Then we will go on to Kyiv and start working on the new apartment Ochka purchased there.
My cardiologist said I shouldn't leave USA because of my bad heart valve and my neurologist said I shouldn't leave USA because I had a TMI recently and have narrowed blood vessels going up through my neck to brain. Ochka doesn't really know the seriousness of these; or she wouldn't want me to travel.
But anyway, life is short and so I decided to just do it.
I won't be doing much internet from Ireland as we have a lot of sight seeing to do and visit with Ochka's relatives and my friends.
If you hear no more from me . . . you will know the Ukrainian medical establishment lost another customer.
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Hi ML.
That's risky.
Just hope all will be fine.
I cross my fingers for you.
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If you hear no more from me . . . you will know the Ukrainian medical establishment lost another customer.
Good attitude. Life is too short to lay up (golfer's term). Go for it. Enjoy.
You are taking meds I presume. Remember the low dose aspirin.
And do not tell Ochka about the heart valve and arteries. Considering your condition I suggest you avoid salo and heavy lifting.
Bon voyage!
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Against all medical advice . . . I will be leaving USA Sunday to go first to Ireland and then to Ukraine.
...If you hear no more from me . . . you will know the Ukrainian medical establishment lost another customer.
It's your life...but try to stay safe.
...my neurologist said I shouldn't leave USA because I had a TMI recently and have narrowed blood vessels going up through my neck to brain.
This all sounds like :tmi: to me!
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Good attitude. Life is too short to lay up (golfer's term). Go for it. Enjoy.
You are taking meds I presume. Remember the low dose aspirin.
And do not tell Ochka about the heart valve and arteries. Considering your condition I suggest you avoid salo and heavy lifting.
Bon voyage!
I think everyone should avoid salo!
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ML,
Good luck on your trip. I hope you both have a wonderful time.
As far as medical, I assume you already know...... If you need medical help in Ukraine, do not go to a government doctor or government hospital. The private clinics and hospitals are far superior. You will be expected to pay all fees in cash. I think I may have written about this in one of my trip reports. If you have any questions about it call my wife in Kiev. Her father was a well known surgeon in Kiev and she is very familiar with all the in's and out's of the medical profession.
Have a blast and tell us how the trip goes.
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Thanks for the comments guys.
I took the 81 mg asperin for many years, but after the TMI they told me to go to the full 325 mg. And I take Vytorin for the cholesterol situation. Vytorin has the two ingredients and it took my numbers down really low into the one half risk category. Low blood pressure also . . . like 110/60 or so usually.
Anyway, I am off in the morning to get in the aluminum tube and meet up with my wonderful Ochka. But she usually manages to raise my blood pressure somewhat.
Let's hope for good Irish weather; if not, then the beer will still be there.
Have fun here guys and gals !
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Bon Voyage!
When you return please explain TMI. I don't know this medical term. I always thought it as Too Much Information or Three Mile Island. Based on what you wrote it seems to measure the plaque blockage of your carotid arteries.
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Bon Voyage!
When you return please explain TMI. I don't know this medical term.
I'm guessing something like Transient Myocardial Infarction.
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Ochka is now back in USA and working.
She had OPT program with EAD card and was getting close to the 90 days allowed unemployment.
She had standing job offer at a University to work in the various math labs, tutor sessions, grading, etc. And in Spring, she will be instructor in her own math classes.
ML is still in Ukraine working on Ochka's new apartment. Having a great time with workers who speak little English and he speaks only a little Ukrainian or Russian. Ochka say's he is very popular as he brings in a three of cases of beer and snacks on Friday afternoons. Workers from the entire apartment complex stop by to imbibe.
He will return to USA in a couple of weeks.
My knee operation is healing satisfactorily and Kate is coming down this weekend to spend time with Ochka and take me back to the big city. She is happy to not have to continue to do the 3 hour round trip a few times a week to be with me. Now I must start intensive physical therapy and go back to my job. It was great having my colleagues cover my classes during my absence, but now I owe favors big time.
I think I will end my participation here after this weekend as I really have no experience in the searching for a FSUW since Kate and I met on campus here in USA. She even helped me find a building when I asked for help 10 years ago. How romantic is that for a beginning ? We have been living together for 7 years and she is now USA citizen and working as MD. And I have no stomach for the continuing diatribe wherein some are supporting the actions of Russian terrorists in Ukraine.
In the words of that famous man, some won't "have me to kick around any more."
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Drew,
I missed something. How do you know about ML?
I hope you stay around, yet I am sympathetic to your stomach ailment.
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Gator, Ochka and Kate met at Ukrainian cultural event. Became quick friends and got ML and me acquainted also.
I had knee operation and hard for me to move about in a three story townhouse with some narrow doors and hallways.
ML offered his spacious house to me which has 4 foot wide hallways and 36 inch doors.
Quite lovely place in the middle of 30 wooded acres with a herd of 20 or so wild deer, flock of 30 or so wild turkeys, other assorted animals including an occasional fox. Neighbors have even seen a bear, but I haven't.
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Gator, Ochka and Kate met at Ukrainian cultural event. Became quick friends and got ML and me acquainted also.
I had knee operation and hard for me to move about in a three story townhouse with some narrow doors and hallways.
ML offered his spacious house to me which has 4 foot wide hallways and 36 inch doors.
Quite lovely place in the middle of 30 wooded acres with a herd of 20 or so wild deer, flock of 30 or so wild turkeys, other assorted animals including an occasional fox. Neighbors have even seen a bear, but I haven't.
Drew, I hope you at least pop in once in a while to say hello. I enjoyed your posts. Also, thanks for the update on ML.
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Gator, Ochka and Kate met at Ukrainian cultural event. Became quick friends and got ML and me acquainted also.
I had knee operation and hard for me to move about in a three story townhouse with some narrow doors and hallways.
ML offered his spacious house to me which has 4 foot wide hallways and 36 inch doors.
Quite lovely place in the middle of 30 wooded acres with a herd of 20 or so wild deer, flock of 30 or so wild turkeys, other assorted animals including an occasional fox. Neighbors have even seen a bear, but I haven't.
I agree with Doug, do stay on. Never let the Putinista trolls keep you from participating in other topics. The ignore functions works quite well here....
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Drew, I hope you at least pop in once in a while to say hello. I enjoyed your posts. Also, thanks for the update on ML.
I agree with Doug, do stay on. Never let the Putinista trolls keep you from participating in other topics. The ignore functions works quite well here....
Well maybe if ML errr Drew had known he was loved so much he wouldn't have changed his name errrrr left to renovate apartments in Ukraine. Did he not receive the memo? :D
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I agree with Doug, do stay on. Never let the Putinista trolls keep you from participating in other topics. The ignore functions works quite well here....
Me three Drew. You are more qualified than many(most?) here--look at forum title. Yours is another perspective on that-- let's face it-the forum needs all the active members it can get.
Stick around-there are some good people here. :)
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I am back in USA after three months in foreign lands.
Have had some great experiences with construction workers in Ukraine. Really great people who will do anything for people they like and respect. Very hard workers . . . up until the drinking starts.
I have probably picked up a fair Ukrainian vocabulary; but most are words that shouldn't be repeated in mixed company.
Many evidences that Russian peoples are truly the scum of the earth.
Still jet lagging, so will be awhile before I catch up on the happenings here.
Ochka is doing great and has kept the homestead running in my absence.
Gator, I mistyped. TIA, not TMI.
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I am back in USA after three months in foreign lands.
Have had some great experiences with construction workers in Ukraine. Really great people who will do anything for people they like and respect. Very hard workers . . . up until the drinking starts.
I have probably picked up a fair Ukrainian vocabulary; but most are words that shouldn't be repeated in mixed company.
Many evidences that Russian peoples are truly the scum of the earth.
Still jet lagging, so will be awhile before I catch up on the happenings here.
Ochka is doing great and has kept the homestead running in my absence.
Gator, I mistyped. TIA, not TMI.
You were gone???? :o Guess I didn't get that memo!!! glad you are well
In bold- I wonder if getting $$$ had anything to do with it..... just a guess
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I am back in USA after three months in foreign lands.
Welcome back.
Many evidences that Russian peoples are truly the scum of the earth.
Russian peoples or Russian government, particularly Putin and his henchmen in eastern Ukraine.
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Russian peoples or Russian government, particularly Putin and his henchmen in eastern Ukraine.
It is the Russian people themselves.
Only in cases where the citizens of a country do not support the actions of their government and leaders can we hold the citizens harmless.
In the current case, Putin and his actions have nearly overwhelming support from the Russian citizens.
Even aside from the events of this current year; all intelligent and honest persons know full well that ethnic Russians are a disgusting and despicable people.
Go to any third country where large numbers of tourists, etc., arrive, talk to the natives and they will readily tell you that Russians are a disgusting and despicable people.
Not since the time of the pre-WWII Japanese do we have this example of an inferior people who get the absurd idea in their head that they are a superior people as the current Russians feel.
OK sure, I understand that many of you have and are chasing some RW with attractive exterior features. But that doesn't change anything I have stated above.
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It is the Russian people themselves.
Only in cases where the citizens of a country do not support the actions of their government and leaders can we hold the citizens harmless.
In the current case, Putin and his actions have nearly overwhelming support from the Russian citizens.
Even aside from the events of this current year; all intelligent and honest persons know full well that ethnic Russians are a disgusting and despicable people.
Go to any third country where large numbers of tourists, etc., arrive, talk to the natives and they will readily tell you that Russians are a disgusting and despicable people.
Not since the time of the pre-WWII Japanese do we have this example of an inferior people who get the absurd idea in their head that they are a superior people as the current Russians feel.
OK sure, I understand that many of you have and are chasing some RW with attractive exterior features. But that doesn't change anything I have stated above.
How do you really feel about this?
:ROFL:
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Only in cases where the citizens of a country do not support the actions of their government and leaders can we hold the citizens harmless.
In the current case, Putin and his actions have nearly overwhelming support from the Russian citizens.
Yet we know the average Russian has not been well informed, and instead has received news filtered through media controlled by Putin. I do question whether the average Russian is so trusting to believe what they receive is the whole truth. Maybe some do not want the truth, or maybe some patriotic Russians are relishing the sense of power Putin seems to bring.
Even aside from the events of this current year; all intelligent and honest persons know full well that ethnic Russians are a disgusting and despicable people.
Did some Russian man bugger you? This is an absurd comment.
Go to any third country where large numbers of tourists, etc., arrive, talk to the natives and they will readily tell you that Russians are a disgusting and despicable people.
Rapidly acquired wealth does not bring good manners and good tastes. This is especially true when the transition to wealth process rewarded those with the lowest scruples. What the wealth does is place the recipients in a light where they can be observed by those with good manners and tastes. Observing them in shops, at an airport queue (I have a great anecdote about an Egyptian desk agent blaming a mob scene on Russian mentality), etc. magnifies their lack of refinement, yet to sit down and converse with an average Russian family will reveal they are good people.
Not since the time of the pre-WWII Japanese do we have this example of an inferior people who get the absurd idea in their head that they are a superior people as the current Russians feel.
I saw this in Iran in the 1970s. Iranians educated in Europe and America were well behaved, although the most unscrupulous advanced the furthest. Go to their homes and the hospitality was sincere and profound.
BTW, do you believe Ukrainians are any different form the Russians you despise other than there are not as many Ukrainians with disposable income?
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Even aside from the events of this current year; all intelligent and honest persons know full well that ethnic Russians are a disgusting and despicable people.
:) Voice of a true Ukrainian. I must agree, Russians are not nice people in a fight.
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:) Voice of a true Ukrainian. I must agree, Russians are not nice people in a fight.
So are you admitting that Russian's have invaded Ukraine?
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I have probably picked up a fair Ukrainian vocabulary; but most are words that shouldn't be repeated in mixed company.
Many evidences that Russian peoples are truly the scum of the earth.
.
Most of those words are used frequently in the same sentence as Putin & Russia !!
Right now what ML expresses is what manyt Ukrainians feel and will openly say.
For those on the forum who are namby pamby about about the Russian invasion and killing of good Ukrainians-- and are on the forum for some theoretical distant debate of some stupid irrelevant point-- take note of the emotion ML has expressed--it is how Ukrainians feel right now.
ML-- I have also been in Ukraine a considerable amount of time this year and totally agree with ML -you can namby pamby around finer points to the cows come home-- but ML's whack is between the eyes.
Ukrainians showed great bravery and courage to stand up against a ruthless regime and succeed in ridding themselves of them-only to be faced with an even more ruthless corrupt Putin and Russian cronies-- the Russian people cannot expect to get the benefits of that regime and ignore the atrocities being performed on their behalf.
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Update:
Ochka and I are both at home in USA now.
Ochka has job as adjunct instructor in math department at major state university. She didn't return to USA until late in September, so all the regular full time teaching slots were already filled. She spends most of her time in a study hall type setting where students can come in to get help with their math courses. Most are enrolled in first two semesters of calculus, but she also has to handle some questions regarding geometry, trigonometry, differential equations, etc.
For Spring Semester 2015 she has been told she will teach at least two courses, but not specified which ones yet. Most likely one or both of the first two courses in calculus.
I worked for a few months on the apartment that Ochka purchased in Kyiv not far from the new US Embassy. Some of her friends and relatives are still doing some final work on the apartment.
When she first wanted to come to USA, Ochka's goal was to learn how to manage the money she received from life insurance payout when her husband died. She really hasn't done any formal study of finance here as she got interested in the master of science in math program. However, finance is my area, so I think I have helped.
Here is what Ochka has for her future.
Rental income from the apartment we purchased together in Ireland.
By summer 2015 will have rental income from the apartment she purchased in Kyiv.
Interest and dividend income from her remaining accounts in Belgium.
Salary income from her teaching job here in USA.
Three pieces of property she will inherit from parents in Ukraine.
Some substantial assets from me when I kick the bucket.
So a pretty good set of diversified assets and income for her.
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Recently I was 'one-upped.'
Ochka enjoys Olive Garden restaurant.
On latest visit, I told her (as always) that she looked very attractive, sexy, beautiful, etc., and took some pics.
While I was taking this one, another man walked by and said to her: "You are a very gorgeous lady."
Ochka asked me how this gorgeous comment ranked with my beautiful comment.
I had to sheepishly admit that I had been 'outdone.'
Don't know why this pic is laying on side; not that way in my computer.
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A great feature in a woman, and one that is pretty much a 'must' for me is that she be able to 'go both ways.' Well not like that.
Compare the pic of Ochka at Olive Garden with these.
Can your gal look gorgeous for restaurants and opera,
and pitch in to help with the labor ??
18 acres of woods on this property and some trees are always dying. We use them in the wood burning furnace which Ochka loves because of the even temperature provided.
Getting ready with the ratchet pully.
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Helping tilt the tree.
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Remembering to run.
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Giving the reward.
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Start the cleanup. This is a second tree.
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Update:
Ochka and I are both at home in USA now.
Ochka has job as adjunct instructor in math department at major state university. She didn't return to USA until late in September, so all the regular full time teaching slots were already filled. She spends most of her time in a study hall type setting where students can come in to get help with their math courses. Most are enrolled in first two semesters of calculus, but she also has to handle some questions regarding geometry, trigonometry, differential equations, etc.
For Spring Semester 2015 she has been told she will teach at least two courses, but not specified which ones yet. Most likely one or both of the first two courses in calculus.
I worked for a few months on the apartment that Ochka purchased in Kyiv not far from the new US Embassy. Some of her friends and relatives are still doing some final work on the apartment.
When she first wanted to come to USA, Ochka's goal was to learn how to manage the money she received from life insurance payout when her husband died. She really hasn't done any formal study of finance here as she got interested in the master of science in math program. However, finance is my area, so I think I have helped.
Here is what Ochka has for her future.
Rental income from the apartment we purchased together in Ireland.
By summer 2015 will have rental income from the apartment she purchased in Kyiv.
Interest and dividend income from her remaining accounts in Belgium.
Salary income from her teaching job here in USA.
Three pieces of property she will inherit from parents in Ukraine.
Some substantial assets from me when I kick the bucket.
So a pretty good set of diversified assets and income for her.
Well done ML for your lady. I think that it is one thing that western men should do for their ladies : educate them slowly so they can fully be independant latter with a great (full ?) understanding of the western system. This is not so easy.
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How many times do I have to tell you, ML? You really need to send her to a dermatologist to get rid of those facial skin problems! :ROFL:
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ML,
Please give Ochka my congratulations for the university teaching job. JB's wife did the same in their neck of the woods, math department as well.
Did Ochka not expect a real "woodsman" to strap on a pair of steel spiked tree climbers and top the tree. Looks like a black oak.
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Spent a few hours after 6 PM at pre-Black Friday sale.
Bought a 1 TB portable HD for $39 and two 32 GB thumb drives for $7 each. Some flannel shirts for the both of us for $7 each. A HP printer for $29 which included two print cartridges which cost total of $38 if purchased separately. Several other items for $4 which regularly sold for $10-20.
Missed out on what we wanted. WalMart was selling standard entry level HP laptops for $159 which were priced regularly at $249. Were going to buy a couple for Ochka to take back to Ukraine next summer. There, such machines sell for $400 +. But they were already all spoken for with wrist bands by the time we arrived. I asked, and sales person said they had 40 in stock.
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A couple of days ago, I got invitation for myself + guest, to attend cocktail party at University President's house. Probably my contributions.
Ochka is all in a dither thinking she shouldn't go because her name wasn't specifically written on the invitation. I told her that is what + guest means, but she says she never heard of this in Ukraine. Also she thinks an entry level Instructor probably shouldn't show up at President's house.
I calmed all her concerns about these factors . . . so now her only thing to worry about is . . . what to wear. I told her women will show up wearing everything from formal long gowns to jeans. That didn't seem to help her decision making process much!!
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A couple of days ago, I got invitation for myself + guest, to attend cocktail party at University President's house. Probably my contributions.
Ochka is all in a dither thinking she shouldn't go because her name wasn't specifically written on the invitation. I told her that is what + guest means, but she says she never heard of this in Ukraine. Also she thinks an entry level Instructor probably shouldn't show up at President's house.
I calmed all her concerns about these factors . . . so now her only thing to worry about is . . . what to wear. I told her women will show up wearing everything from formal long gowns to jeans. That didn't seem to help her decision making process much!!
I suspect she will be the best dressed lady at the party. Congratulations. :)
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Did Ochka not expect a real "woodsman" to strap on a pair of steel spiked tree climbers and top the tree. Looks like a black oak.
Gator, good eye on the black oak.
No, she didn't expect such.
In fact, she was very leery of me doing this at all.
I told her I had dropped many such trees, but she had never seen me or anyone do this.
She was very nervous, but pleased with the result.
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Ochka is now back in USA and working.
She had OPT program with EAD card and was getting close to the 90 days allowed unemployment.
She had standing job offer at a University to work in the various math labs, tutor sessions, grading, etc. And in Spring, she will be instructor in her own math classes.
Just curious as to how she got around the labor certification issue? It is not allowed to hire a non-resident (except H1B) if qualified citizens are available. I would think there would be many quallfied US math majors.
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Those on OPT are exempt from the various rules you refer to.
I think this is because OPT is a relatively short term employment authorization.
All foreign students who complete a degree in USA are eligible for 12 months of OPT.
STEM graduates can get 17 additional months.
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We went to College of Arts & Sciences Christmas party on Friday night. Ochka looked great in a red dress and gold jewelry.
Went to University President's party on Sunday afternoon.
Ochka looked great in a 'little black dress' and pearls.
Final exams start Thursday, so Ochka will be busy with a lot of exam proctoring and grading.
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I always tell Ochka to get her teeth checked out when she is in Ukraine, because of the high cost here.
We did take her a couple of years ago to my dentist because something was bothering her. Dentist said nothing was wrong and didn't charge anything. The dentist did say that all of her previous work done in Ukraine looked very good, and better than most she had seen from Eastern Europe. So we lucked out there.
However, last week, a piece of filling and a piece of tooth broke off.
So we made an appointment for a couple of weeks hence to get that fixed.
With initial exam fee, all the x-rays, the filling, etc., I suspect we are looking at $500 or more. Ochka is really upset at this as it would cost less than $100 in Ukraine.
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I always tell Ochka to get her teeth checked out when she is in Ukraine, because of the high cost here.
We did take her a couple of years ago to my dentist because something was bothering her. Dentist said nothing was wrong and didn't charge anything. The dentist did say that all of her previous work done in Ukraine looked very good, and better than most she had seen from Eastern Europe. So we lucked out there.
However, last week, a piece of filling and a piece of tooth broke off.
So we made an appointment for a couple of weeks hence to get that fixed.
With initial exam fee, all the x-rays, the filling, etc., I suspect we are looking at $500 or more. Ochka is really upset at this as it would cost less than $100 in Ukraine.
Sure but her monthly salary in Ukraine was probably only about $200 and now she makes probably 20 times that or more.
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... so Ochka will be busy with a lot of exam proctoring...
My last proctology exam was uncomfortable. Maybe Ochka can refer me to someone else.
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She probably will need a crown because the filing is large and the tooth could break. So the cost will be much higher. She could also need a root canel.
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It is possible that our days of 'living in sin' may be coming to an end.
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My last proctology exam was uncomfortable. Maybe Ochka can refer me to someone else.
;D ;D ;D
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It is possible that our days of 'living in sin' may be coming to an end.
Congratulations! :clapping: Who asked whom? :devil:
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She probably will need a crown because the filing is large and the tooth could break. So the cost will be much higher. She could also need a root canel.
Very prophetic Wayne. See under my thread in the Married Section.
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Congratulations! :clapping: Who asked whom? :devil:
Probably not very romantic, but . . . nobody asked anybody.
We both had used the 'marry' word in many conversations over the past 4-5 years or so.
But had never discussed the actual event or timing thereof.
When we brought up the subject again after she returned from Ukraine in September . . . she said that we had a pretty good arrangement already and she was content to continue as is.
But then we talked about the hassle of visa renewals, the tax savings for me if I could file as 'married,' the benefits to her of getting my SS after I died, etc.
So we both just said: OK, let's do it before the end of the year 2014.
And, no pre-nups.
I have always been a strong proponent of pre-nups but decided it wasn't really necessary for me at this point in time.
First, she has a substantial amount of money of her own and is going to inherit even more from her parents, so I know she isn't marrying me out of desperation to provide for her future financial security.
Second, I have been disposing of a lot of business and real estate assets and have completed the task of setting up trust funds for my future grandchildren.
Third, I have transferred ownership of a couple of rental houses to my children with provision for a life estate for me in those houses if I need a place to live.
Fourth, I am getting of the age in which I really wouldn't give a sheeeet if she were to leave me and get a huge settlement from my assets in a divorce.
I would probably be content to go off to a mountainside cabin and live on social security income. I have had a pretty fantastic life in general, have seen much more of the world than most, have spent time with dozens of interesting women, so I can be content with reminiscing now.
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Congratulations ML!
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Congratulations ML!
Thanks Bill.
I have a thread reporting this event over in the Married section.
Seems that section doesn't get as many viewers as other sections.
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Interesting to go back and review this X years later.