Russian Women Discussion
RWD Discussion Groups => Experienced => Topic started by: jone on October 17, 2018, 04:34:32 PM
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I know of a woman who is dating a man from the US and has a son who is around the third grade age. She is stymied in her relationship because she feels that a Russian education is better for her son - particularly the discipline and the amount of education received at these younger ages. She believes that she cannot move to the US because of this differential.
If any readers have anecdotal evidence one way or the other, or have married an FSUW and moved a stepchild to the US, I would be happy to pass it on.
I think it is a topic that merits discussion.
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My wife taught high school in Russia and is of the opinion that discipline in Russian schools is better than in the public schools in the US. However, even she agrees that overall, if you can find the right school, an American education is superior in knowledge imparted to the student even in the younger grades. Once it comes to university there's no doubt an American education is better than Russian.
How good the local American school is will depend on where she lives in the US and whether or not her son's school is public or private. If she moves to Detroit or St. Louis and her son ends up in a public school, good luck. A private school in NYC and he should do well. Her son's biggest problem will probably be his adjustment to learning in English. With some extra help he should adjust.
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Hi everybody. I do agree with the idea that russian schools are better. THere is indeed more discipline at schoold there and yes, the workload is usually far more demanding. In russia, a good school education comes mostly without efforts. All you need to do is pick a good school, and after that its autopilot. They dont care if you dont want calculus 2, you are going to take it. I am an accountant. I do not take integrals at work, but funny thing, a couple of years ago I held a small masterclass for the company project managers on how to calculate profit based on %. It all started with a phone call from one of the PMs - Irina, you are smart, can you calculate the 12% profit of my $8 mil project.. Seriousely? Well, I never loved math in school.. Neither did I. A few people with university degrees turned up to listen to an accountant teach them basic math. My child came to the US at 13 yo and went straight to 8th grade. Me and my husband applied effort to keep him challenged at school. Schools faught back defending the child's right to be a dumb a....Still, I am sure if a person is interested to provide a good eduacation to her (his) child, its very doable. It will require a lot of effors, money too, but at the end there are better rewards.
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Hi everybody. I do agree with the idea that russian schools are better. THere is indeed more discipline at schoold there and yes, the workload is usually far more demanding. In russia, a good school education comes mostly without efforts. All you need to do is pick a good school, and after that its autopilot. They dont care if you dont want calculus 2, you are going to take it. I am an accountant. I do not take integrals at work, but funny thing, a couple of years ago I held a small masterclass for the company project managers on how to calculate profit based on %. It all started with a phone call from one of the PMs - Irina, you are smart, can you calculate the 12% profit of my $8 mil project.. Seriousely? Well, I never loved math in school.. Neither did I. A few people with university degrees turned up to listen to an accountant teach them basic math. My child came to the US at 13 yo and went straight to 8th grade. Me and my husband applied effort to keep him challenged at school. Schools faught back defending the child's right to be a dumb a....Still, I am sure if a person is interested to provide a good eduacation to her (his) child, its very doable. It will require a lot of effors, money too, but at the end there are better rewards.
Hi Donna, Maxx here! I was just thinking about you. I almost mentioned you in my thread about living an expat life in the Republic of Georgia. We were discussing past posters.
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=22265.0
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Glad to see you are still around. How is everything?
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I am very happy! I have conquered my type 2 diabetes through a Keto diet and am feeling really good. I have energy I haven't had in years. Also I am working on some business ideas that are a lot of fun for me.
So how is Danny? And you? Are you still in Florida? Bamma?
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I am very happy! I have conquered my type 2 diabetes through a Keto diet and am feeling really good. I have energy I haven't had in years. Also I am working on some business ideas that are a lot of fun for me.
So how is Danny? And you? Are you still in Florida? Bamma?
WE are OK, thank you and We are still in Houston TX. Danny is not very pumped up about retiring here so we are looking for possibly a place abroad, preferably the one that is good for scuba diving.
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WE are OK, thank you and We are still in Houston TX. Danny is not very pumped up about retiring here so we are looking for possibly a place abroad, preferably the one that is good for scuba diving.
Yes, I remember now that you were in Texas for a while. Ever see jb? He is in Corpus Christie. The two big places for expats to retire to is Thailand and Ecuador.
When I get back to Batumi in a few weeks I got a Russian friend who is pretty at good ordering things online. I got a list of snorkel diving items I want to get for diving in the Black Sea.
diving mask, swim fins and snorkel Men’s and women’s
anti-fog spray
semi-dry snorkel with purge valve
paralenz dive camera See if they have the new improved one and the reviews
speargun
ivation life vest (2)
Scubapro jet fins (the ones with a hole near the tip) “Seawing Nova”
The Black Sea isn't the best for diving as the water's visibility is only about 7 meters. But we're serious :offtopic:
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Yes, I remember now that you were in Texas for a while. Ever see jb? He is in Corpus Christie. The two big places for expats to retire to is Thailand and Ecuador.
When I get back to Batumi in a few weeks I got a Russian friend who is pretty at good ordering things online. I got a list of snorkel diving items I want to get for diving in the Black Sea.
diving mask, swim fins and snorkel Men’s and women’s
anti-fog spray
semi-dry snorkel with purge valve
paralenz dive camera See if they have the new improved one and the reviews
speargun
ivation life vest (2)
Scubapro jet fins (the ones with a hole near the tip) “Seawing Nova”
The Black Sea isn't the best for diving as the water's visibility is only about 7 meters. But we're serious :offtopic:
I knew Black sea was never good enough for diving... we have been diving in Jamaica for the last 5 years. Resorts and diving is very good there, but living in Jamaica is not as attractive. I have heard a lot of good things about Spain.
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Jone, pass along to your friend
dear esteemed mamochka!
I happen to be the father of two Russian-American teenage girls, who spent about a third of their life in what is now Russia and the remaining two thirds in the USA.
while it is true, that Russian schools ARE more rigorous and disciplined than their American counter-parts, by the time your child is college age, the advantage that this may provide begins to disappear.
just a week ago, I mailed out a total of 5 university applications for my oldest daughter, now a senior in high school, her SAT score is 1470 by the way, so I guess it was worth the $2,000 I paid her SAT coach, her ACT score has already earned her scholarships.
over half the questions on the SAT/ACT tests are English reading compression, even the Math tests have a lot of complex word problems. my daughter got sick of all the practice PSAT tests I made her take and all the extra work her SAT coach made her perform, but her SAT score should get her into Rice University next fall (and I expect scholarships to cover more than half the cost!)
how will you get all this coaching, etc done in Russia??
Unless, you DON’T want to go to an Ivy League school, and instead a second/third tier University or Community College..
BTW, the secret of my kid’s success is just a function of how much time a parent spends with them! When my daughters moved back to the USA after being in the Russian school system, they had to struggle with reading English in the first week in the US public school system because they were used to reading Russian. so I spent a half hour with each of them every day
I would read aloud a paragraph from a book while they would follow the text visually, then after I read, they would read it
in a month, their English reading deficit disappeared, in two months their teachers told me they were the top readers in their class (only the older daughter can still read Russian however...)
bottom line it is very competitive getting into an Ivy League school, but very worth it to your child’s future, but it doesn’t happen on it’s own, you have to work at it, and IMHO it is much harder working in Russia on this issue than here in the USA, because Russian school is very different than the SAT/ACT tests, so the curriculum doesn’t prepare you for the test the way that it does in the USA, and you need to have the CONSTANT word problem testing in ENGLISH that being in a USA school system will provide that the average Russian is not going to receive.
however, you can go “low” start out in a community college, you could probably get into a community college with a 1,000 SAT score and then after 1-2 years of 3.0 above GPA transfer to a 2nd tier University
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--- while it is true, that Russian schools ARE more rigorous and disciplined than their American counter-parts, by the time your child is college age, the advantage that this may provide begins to disappear.
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[/size]Exactly. Education is only as good as the doors it can open. Russian schools are more rigorous, but american schools open bigger doors.
[/size]Also fully agree with community college idea.
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“I knew Black sea was never good enough for diving...”
hmmm? what’s wrong with Black Sea diving? other than needing slightly more dive weights
visibility is decent, no harmful marine life, temp is OK...
I managed to find pristine scallop beds away from populated areas and harvested multi-kilos of delicious, tasty scallops in about 20 feet of water (that are safe to eat!)
and you Russians REALLY should try fried scallops in butter and garlic for your shaslik cooked on an old iron skillet over an open fire
I have a good family friend who used to run a dive tour group in Yalta before annexation
I went on my first and only “technical” wreck dive with him, my reward for importing equipment from the USA, unfortunately none of the underwater photos of the WWI shipwreck came out well...
I think because I was too cold or too scared and shook the camera too much as I was taking photos!!!
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“I knew Black sea was never good enough for diving...”
hmmm? what’s wrong with Black Sea diving? other than needing slightly more dive weights
Nothing wrong, but somehow none of Black see diving resorts are on PADI "go to" list.
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"Nothing wrong, but somehow none of Black see diving resorts are on PADI "go to" list."
tough to compete with all the tropical spots in the Pacific and Caribbean that are a true diver's paradise!
if you live there great!!! I still remember Jamaican lingo from my visit there!
WAM! = "What's Up Man"!!!
I took the bus from Kingston up north to Blue Mountain and bought a suitcase full of coffee beans
food there is too spicy for my tastes though!!!
I used to live 300 yards from the Black Sea, in summer months I could snorkel off-shore from Chersonnes "XEP", where I found underwater stone walls,
indicating that the water level has risen quite a lot since classical times
the walls dated from about 120 B.C. to 200 AD and was at one time a maritime barrier to repel barbaric invaders (нет nato!)
In addition I found a spot where for some reason, ships dumped a lot of amphorae overboard in ancient times
most were badly shattered, but I collected several that were substantially intact and looked good next to my fireplace!
no shark paranoia!!!
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I think the discipline aspect is a bit overrated. You can provide discipline as a parent (and support as Krimster mentioned) and provide extra-curricular education with discipline (e.g., Russian schools on weekends, martial arts). Get yourself a Russian and Japanese teacher for extra-curricular activities and you're set! Creativity and imagination is going to become more important with increased AI and automation. Command and control is 20th century management style.
Russian school teacher barely get paid sustenance wages. It's not that bad in the west. In general you get what you pay for. The pathway for further education is also more limited. I have a friend from Europe who studied in a Russian university and was not impressed with the quality.
My biggest two concerns moving to the FSU are schools and hospitals. Most other things I could compromise on.
And welcome back Krimster!
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I think the discipline aspect is a bit overrated. You can provide discipline as a parent
It is. My biggest concern would be all that liberal bs kids are subjected at schools these days. But it is managable too. I do not believe that school education would be a dealbraker for coming to this country. I am thinking it was just an clever attempt to hide the real reason.
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all public school education in America is geared for testing, there is no actual effort made to educate your child
that is up to you and your kids
that only changes at the university level where they try and provide an actual education...
I've always been able to instill enthusiasm for reading and learning with my children
the "greatest indicator of a child's success" is literally how much time and effort a parent spends with them
that should be what guides a parent's choices
I tend to concur with your assessment, that "MOM" was looking for excuses....
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Thank you all for contributing to this thread.
I am pretty certain that the MOM is not looking for excuses. The young lad started the year off without his mother as she was visiting her special someone here in the US. Grandma kept an eye on the boy. I think that the fear that she has is that if she moves her family to the US, her son will be 'no one special'. This past year he was elected President of his class (don't think that really means much to an 8 year old, but it did to his mother.)
I have directed her to some of the former members of this forum so that she could interact with them and their experiences bringing their children to the US.
Had the misfortune of specifying one individual who came from Ukraine. The response was that Ukraine has nowhere near the school system that Russia has - so therefore she would not even consider contacting the parents.
Personally, like Krimster and many others on here, my children have had exceptional educations. But I had my son living in Russia, South America and China before he finished college. His language skills are unique in his American circle of friends.
My daughter developed differently and is well grounded in math. Her social skills are exceptional and, upon finishing college, was rewarded with an excellent job.
I believe that any children raised in America are taught to educational standards. Beyond that level, the success is dependent on the child and their home environment. My argument to this woman would be that she would have greater success with her son if he had a two parent environment, instead of one, and made the decision to move ahead with her relationship.
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“.....that if she moves her family to the US, her son will be 'no one special”
OMG seriously????
“no one special in the USA”, as opposed to the lofty title of third grade class president in Russia (yeah, who'd want to give that up?)
this is her so-called reasoning?
well, I guess he should stay in Russia and be Prime Minister in the 4th grade then, and we can spare this poor woman the trouble from moving to the USA where her son will not literally be so entitled!
or he can stay in Russia and be conscripted when he’s 18 and die in Syria or Ukraine, take your pick!!!
if you stay in Russia, the average Russian kid will NOT do so well on SAT/ACT score, without that score, you can say das va danya to a top school in the USA, and set your sights on a community college instead and study HVAC repair.
or stay in Russia, maybe class Presidents and Prime Ministers will be exempt from conscription
“ My argument to this woman would be that she would have greater success with her son if he had a two parent environment, instead of one, and made the decision to move ahead with her relationship”
totally correct, does the husband realize what he’s signing up for?
and if he IS signing up for this, why would she turn it down?
free help to raise her kid in America, wellll, I dunno, maybe I should keep him here and keep doing it by myself...
nahhhh, somethin's missing from this picture
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Yeah,
There is something missing. The man has not yet made the total commitment to the woman to make the family work. I'm thinking that once that happens, she will decide that she can raise her son in the US after all. She's back in Russia right now and he is scheduled to be there for the extended New Year's celebration.
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or he can stay in Russia and be conscripted when he’s 18 and die in Syria or Ukraine, take your pick!!!
Yeah that's the other thing that would freak me out, but having a foreign passport would not be so much of an issue. So many horror stories just from military training. Russian leadership has a long history in treating the masses as cannon fodder. I don't see that changing.
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"There is something missing. The man has not yet made the total commitment to the woman to make the family work."
well, THAT is the show stopper then and not the US public education system!
when I was single, I dated American women with kids, this complicates having a relationship tremendously
unless the woman was someone very special, I wouldn't sponsor someone with kids
why make it so difficult when there are so many single women without kids, why involve a kid for this endeavor?
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Thank you all for contributing to this thread.
I have directed her to some of the former members of this forum so that she could interact with them and their experiences bringing their children to the US.
Had the misfortune of specifying one individual who came from Ukraine. The response was that Ukraine has nowhere near the school system that Russia has - so therefore she would not even consider contacting the parents.
Good idea for a thread for sure.
I have commented previously about Russian citizen women that swallow the Russian propaganda are not good candidates ( I did use a different word to describe previously!) to adapt to the west -- or a western man -- especially so if he is a ( god forbid) a "liberal" ( as in a thinking man !!) . Russians swallowing the Russian garbage over Ukraine is an example of my point !
Before someone pipes up with to" No politics in this thread" comment-- it was in affect raised by this Russian woman's comment --it illustrates the stain on the thinking ( non thinking!) process.
As a general observation on children moving --I would have thought the younger the better would allow an easier assimilation in the school process.I have ( & have had) some exposure to schools in Ukraine with younger children and also up to a 14 yo.
Generally speaking good discipline and control of the classes by teachers is good ( by my estimation !)
I do not see that much different to Australia or what I have seen in America in that respect. From what I recall --it is from about 14 up that things get out of hand in Australian schools !
That said -- there was a variation from teacher to teacher,class to class,school to school etc .Those factors will be what is important wherever a child is going to school.
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Thank you all for contributing to this thread.
I am pretty certain that the MOM is not looking for excuses. The young lad started the year off without his mother as she was visiting her special someone here in the US. Grandma kept an eye on the boy. I think that the fear that she has is that if she moves her family to the US, her son will be 'no one special'. This past year he was elected President of his class (don't think that really means much to an 8 year old, but it did to his mother.)
I really dont know what they have in Ukrain these days, but in 1 month nobody would care. Exactly the way it was with my child. in 1 month nobody even remembered that he came from Russia. KIds get accustomed to new surroundings much faster, if the child comes before 13-14 yo, there is a chance he might not have accent. Yes, he would not be special but one of the students in his class, which is what I would be hoping for - for him to assimilate, feel like he belongs here, find new friends, figure out how to get the most out of this educational system. He has never been a class president, but a few years ago graduated with a JD from Harvard Law school. Thats where he is very much special.
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Regardless of what one thinks who has the better education system, a child has a greater chance for success in America than in Russia. The environment America provides allows people to succeed more here than anywhere. A child has a greater chance to become a millionaire or billionaire even if they're not smart. We got the Mega Millions and Powerball lotteries. That's my ticket to get rich!
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“I knew Black sea was never good enough for diving...”
hmmm? what’s wrong with Black Sea diving? other than needing slightly more dive weights
Huh?
Only tried Scuba diving once - but as the Black Sea is less salty - less buoyant - than most seas / oceans - wouldn't LESS weights be required ?
Happy to be educated ;)
Totally agree with your comparison with RU / western education systems ...
Newly arrived RU kids are shocked by how kids address some teachers and fear the Police
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Regardless of what one thinks who has the better education system, a child has a greater chance for success in America than in Russia.
'Success' in a monetary aspect ?
BillyB - how many RU schools have you visited ? The kids are quite happy and whilst I'm uncomfortable with ANY nation that encourages 'Patriotism' - I include UK( particularly N.Ireland) , US,, Russia in this ) Success for me is the ability to provide a roof over the head of your family and it COULD be argued the Russians manage this with better ?
The environment America provides allows people to succeed more here than anywhere. A child has a greater chance to become a millionaire or billionaire even if they're not smart. We got the Mega Millions and Powerball lotteries. That's my ticket to get rich!
Yup - it is as I surmised ... 'riches and success' are different things for us
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'Success' in a monetary aspect ?
It is. Happiness - is a different thing, I agree, but success is a monetary aspect. OK, russian school provides better knowledge but what happens after that? Even after they get a university degree, most are struggling to find well paid jobs, so in terms of success a lot of highly educated, smart young people are not fulfilled. This whole cry to preserve a "special snow flake" from the 3 d grade is actually rediculus. Mommy tends to apply her cultural norms to a different culture. It is understandable, but funny all the same.
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This whole cry to preserve a "special snow flake" from the 3 d grade is actually rediculus. Mommy tends to apply her cultural norms to a different culture. It is understandable, but funny all the same.
But you get a pass because you are a immigrant. But because you are Russian... maybe you are suspect in election rigging. :D
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Huh?
Only tried Scuba diving once - but as the Black Sea is less salty - less buoyant - than most seas / oceans - wouldn't LESS weights be required ?
Happy to be educated ;)
The salinity is about half. The reason is because it is fed with many rivers with their fresh water. The other thing this does is there is much more micro organisms fed into the Sea by these rivers. This causes the cloudiness and less visibility than the oceans. Nice thing though is sharks are not a problem. The Black Sea has a unique water compilation. Below 200 meters or feet, forget which, the water does not contain oxygen. This limits life in most of the Sea. In the upper layer the low salt content limits much of the Oceans' fish, including the sharks as they can't handle fresh water. The only exception would be bull sharks, but they've never been known to be in the Black Sea. There are a few shark species in the Black Sea, but they are small and harmless.
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The salinity is about half. The reason is because it is fed with many rivers with their fresh water. The other thing this does is there is much more micro organisms fed into the Sea by these rivers. This causes the cloudiness and less visibility than the oceans. Nice thing though is sharks are not a problem. The Black Sea has a unique water compilation. Below 200 meters or feet, forget which, the water does not contain oxygen. This limits life in most of the Sea. In the upper layer the low salt content limits much of the Oceans' fish, including the sharks as they can't handle fresh water. The only exception would be bull sharks, but they've never been known to be in the Black Sea. There are a few shark species in the Black Sea, but they are small and harmless.
Per volume, fresh water weighs less than salt water. Principle of buoyancy is weight displacement. The weight of an object in the water, salty or fresh, that is equal to the area it displaces, determines buoyancy. Diving will more than likely require less weight aid when diving in the Black Sea.
That’s courtesy of US public school education taught in 1st grade. :P
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But you get a pass because you are a immigrant. But because you are Russian... maybe you are suspect in election rigging. :D
Just election rigging? Please suspect me in Crimea repatriation too.. :-)
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"less buoyant - than most seas / oceans - wouldn't LESS weights be required ?"
you're right MSMOB, I wrote the reverse, being distracted at the time
the difference is actually pretty small between the ocean and black sea in terms of diving weights
the only time I used weights was on the wreck dive because of currents
a lot less diving going on in Crimea now compared to in the past
the dive shop I used to go to doesn't exist anymore
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"Please suspect me in Crimea repatriation too.. :-)"
NO!
We know that wasn’t you!
It was Sergei Aksyonov, a local Crimean mobster nicknamed “Goblin” who also happens to be an ultra-right wing Russian nationalist who stormed the Crimean Parliament building with his armed criminal gang when it was empty late at night with weapons provided by Russia
who then proceeded to take an electronic vote using MP voting keys
and declared himself the new prime minister of Crimea (an office he still holds)
and then declared a future vote on leaving Russia and joining Ukraine
all done by 30 armed men
so perfectly legal and democratic by Russian definition
since there is actually no such thing as rule of law or democracy in Russia
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"Please suspect me in Crimea repatriation too.. :-)"
NO!
We know that wasn’t you!
It was Sergei Aksyonov, a local Crimean mobster nicknamed “Goblin” who also happens to be an ultra-right wing Russian nationalist who stormed the Crimean Parliament building with his armed criminal gang when it was empty late at night with weapons provided by Russia
who then proceeded to take an electronic vote using MP voting keys
and declared himself the new prime minister of Crimea (an office he still holds)
and then declared a future vote on leaving Russia and joining Ukraine
all done by 30 armed men
so perfectly legal and democratic by Russian definition
since there is actually no such thing as rule of law or democracy in Russia
With all due respect, I have heard a different version of the events and before you start thinking "propaganda" I need to explain that it comes from my extended family members. I am more inclined to trust their version of events as they lived in the midst of them. As far as propaganda goes, in 17 years of life in America, I would be a subject to american propaganda rather than the one from RF.
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with all due respect,
I lived in Russia!
I know all about "stories" from extended family members
from Beslan to sinking of the Kursk
and YOU know these stories as well, I'm sure!!!
and stories is all that they are, figments of someone's imagination...
you know perfectly well that the head of the Crimean Mafia Sergey Aksyonov with his mafia gang stormed the parliament building in Simferopol late at night on February 27, 2014, overpowering it's only security guard with weapons provided by the GRU
then they stole the voting keys and voted Sergey Aksyonov as head of Crimean Parliment, which he still is
if you don't know this go spend 5 minutes on GOOGLE
but I HAVE NOTICED a massive on-line effort to remove his name from these events, I wonder why?
meanwhile yet another Russian indicted for interference in 2016 election, this one belongs to Putin's Chef, you know the same one who lost Russian personnel in Syria to American forces!
oh my!
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'Success' in a monetary aspect ?
monetary aspect is associated with success. How many broke people you know and respect are world famous for their accomplishments?
BillyB - how many RU schools have you visited ?
Enough to know they'll never produce a Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Steve Jobs, or Einstein. The environment Russia provides their citizens doesn't allow for success on ones own merits. If one is to get rich, they have to be part of the corruption and get permission to be rich.
How important are schools to geniuses anyway? Most smart people are smarter than the teachers that educate them. Schools are great for the most people but even if somebody finishes school with straight A's they are an expert in nothing. When they join the workforce, that's when we find out the winners and losers.
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observations on Russian life
a reductionist view
there is very little social mobility in Russia
rich class of oligarchs who stole state assets and then exhibit “rent seeking”
middle class has low salaries, difficult to buy a house-equivalent to poor in USA
poor - babooshka selling samachkie on the street corner poor
getting a degree will get you into the middle class in Russia, but it will likely be on the low end of middle class, most likely you will be working for the Russian government for between $500 to $2,000 month
saving up to buy a house will not be easy mortgage rates will shock you!
so you have to buy in cash!
starting a business in Russia is difficult and VERY risky, so most people don’t take this route
plus on top of that declining ruble that raises prices of imported goods, declining economy with high inflation/interest rates
means not a lot of hope for improvement in the future
but hey Russia is "stalnoy" and standing up to Amerika, so it's worth the price that the poor and middle class have to pay
and after all, the oligarchs on the sanctions list have a special Putin supplied sanctions compensation fund, so they're all just fine
funny how this fund wasn't cut but pensions are
oops guess time to go and acquire some more territory
hmmm Donbass looks tasty
and Odessa!
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with all due respect,
I lived in Russia!
I know all about "stories" from extended family members
from Beslan to sinking of the Kursk
and YOU know these stories as well, I'm sure!!!
and stories is all that they are, figments of someone's imagination...
you know perfectly well that the head of the Crimean Mafia Sergey Aksyonov with his mafia gang stormed the parliament building in Simferopol late at night on February 27, 2014, overpowering it's only security guard with weapons provided by the GRU
then they stole the voting keys and voted Sergey Aksyonov as head of Crimean Parliment, which he still is
if you don't know this go spend 5 minutes on GOOGLE
but I HAVE NOTICED a massive on-line effort to remove his name from these events, I wonder why?
meanwhile yet another Russian indicted for interference in 2016 election, this one belongs to Putin's Chef, you know the same one who lost Russian personnel in Syria to American forces!
oh my!
So did I. For nearly 35 years. I was in the midst of events in October 1993 during the rebellion, when the tanks shot White house (in Moscow) from the bridge. I can tell you, because I used to live not too far from that place and to this day I remember that weird sound the window glass made with each shot. And even my child remembers laying between the seats of his dad's car when they attempted to beat the crowd maching towards TV tower. I do remember my neighbour cried trying to stop her husband from going to "defend" the white house. These are not figments of my imagination, thank you very much. So I do believe my family members who were there to witness all the events.
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Thank you all for your posts. And let's stop the Willy Waving.
Your (collective) insights regarding the future social mobility of a young Russian boy is very valuable. I would think that a woman, regardless of her love of the Rossiya, would be giving her child an advantage by raising him/her in Western society whereby they can make many choices.
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Krimster,
I wanted t respond to your thoughts on mothers vs. women who have never had a child.
While many men on the forum (yourself at the age you were looking) are young enough to marry a woman who does not have children and should have them .... I've never met a FSU Woman who did not wish to have any child..... LOL. So, for us guys that are no longer young enough to be new fathers, what is wrong with having a child in the house? I would rather treasure such a situation.
Especially if the family unit can work.....
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ok...
IMHO. biggest factor would be level of commitment from step-father
with the understanding that stepson relationship will involve a LOT of effort on his part
mother sounds to me like a Rodina lover and probably will not adapt well to life in America which will also hurt her son's ability to do so
my advice to them is to stay in Rodina
and for WM to look for woman without a child
sounds harsh, I know...
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Thank you all for your posts. And let's stop the Willy Waving.
Your (collective) insights regarding the future social mobility of a young Russian boy is very valuable. I would think that a woman, regardless of her love of the Rossiya, would be giving her child an advantage by raising him/her in Western society whereby they can make many choices.
Jon, I think you are underestimating the power of the crap that Russians are fed (and seem to eat eagerly) about circumstances, conditions, and events in USA.
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Thank you all for your posts. And let's stop the Willy Waving.
Your (collective) insights regarding the future social mobility of a young Russian boy is very valuable. I would think that a woman, regardless of her love of the Rossiya, would be giving her child an advantage by raising him/her in Western society whereby they can make many choices.
This is a flawed, maybe misdirected, discussion. Firstly, if the woman’s conviction is that strong it cannot, rather should not, be changed by opinions and/or suggestions by people in the internet she doesn’t know over a subject that is so subjective and in many cases driven by nationalistic pride.
I question her state of mind involving herself in a relationship with a foreign man knowing full well what her conviction is. Methinks she never had aspiration of leaving Russia and hoped to lure him to move there to be a provider economic comfort.
As far as the man is concerned, if this is an issue, Move on. Simple things need not be made complicated.
Live long and prosper!
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Concerning education comparisons between USA and FSU; as everyone should know, each person's opinion is heavily based on their own experiences, even as their experiences are not the norm for either area.
For instance my wife, who is teaching at a flagship USA university can truthfully say that most of the students she gets in her junior level university math courses are less prepared than the 10th and 11th grade students she taught in Ukraine.
But then I have to remind her (for 20th time) that she taught in a 'magnet type' STEM oriented high school which was a feeder school for the best Ukrainian university.
Then she readily admits that, had she taught at a standard high school in Ukraine, her experience would have been totally different.
So many discussions/arguments about this topic are nothing more than comparing apples to oranges.
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ok...
IMHO. biggest factor would be level of commitment from step-father
with the understanding that stepson relationship will involve a LOT of effort on his part
mother sounds to me like a Rodina lover and probably will not adapt well to life in America which will also hurt her son's ability to do so
my advice to them is to stay in Rodina
and for WM to look for woman without a child
sounds harsh, I know...
I cannot agree twith this statement. You can consider my husband to be a Rodina lover. He loves HIS motherland, so he is able to appreciate and respect that I am doing the same to my motherland. And 17 years of marriage is good proof of the fact that it works just fine. Not to mention a very successfull well adjusted child.
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If a woman thinks America is a bad place to live, whether her concerns are real or imagined, a guy should not bring her to America. If a woman hates the place her husband brought her to and refuses to embrace the culture, it'll greatly increase the chances of divorce.
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"what is wrong with having a child in the house? I would rather treasure such a situation."
this all COMPLETELY depends on the man in question and his character
can he accept this child and raise him as though he is his own child?
especially since he doesn't even know this child or even speak with him at the moment due to language barrier
can he put forth this major effort on behalf of this child's welfare, at a time when most men are thinking of retiring?
does he have children of his own as well?
potential negatives will be the mother's behavior, jealousy, possessiveness, failure to adapt, etc
IMHO, if he can score a RW WITH a child he can score one WITHOUT
given the choice, I have NO IDEA why someone would pick a woman WITH a child
probably twice as hard to be successful in this relationship than a woman WITHOUT a child
without knowing more info about the people involved, I'd recommend not doing this!
leave the fairy tales to books, real life is much more brutal and harsh
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“ cannot agree twith this statement. You can consider my husband to be a Rodina lover. He loves HIS motherland, so he is able to appreciate and respect that I am doing the same to my motherland.
schto te gavorish?
so you love Russia and that’s why you accept the lies the government makes to keep Putin in power?
let me make a wild guess that you and your husband are also Trump supporters!
but despite your love of Russia, you don’t live in Russia, curious...
so there must be something you love more than Russia that ended up bringing you to America
I wonder what it could be, baseball?
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“ cannot agree twith this statement. You can consider my husband to be a Rodina lover. He loves HIS motherland, so he is able to appreciate and respect that I am doing the same to my motherland.
schto te gavorish?
so you love Russia and that’s why you accept the lies the government makes to keep Putin in power?
let me make a wild guess that you and your husband are also Trump supporters!
but despite your love of Russia, you don’t live in Russia, curious...
so there must be something you love more than Russia that ended up bringing you to America
I wonder what it could be, baseball?
1. Truth and lies are both subjective terms.
2. [size=0pt]You made it sound like supporting the President is a bad thing. [/size]
[/size]S[size=0pt]3. There are a number of countries in the world that I do love but I dont live there.
4. I love my husband and enjoy ever minute of our 17 years marriage.
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"1. Truth and lies are both subjective terms."
you mean "alternate truths"?
no, I don't accept that, sorry...
the crimean parliment was taken over by a mafia gang led by Sergei Aksyonov and equipped by Moscow
and this is the truth, and go online and read about all the details, what time it happened, name of the security guard they tied up
vrs your "story" by your uncle sasha that the CIA was backing the Kiev Junta or whatever...
Russia doesn't even need to waste money on Facebook and twitter for you
you've ALREADY been programmed
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"1. Truth and lies are both subjective terms."
you mean "alternate truths"?
no, I don't accept that, sorry...
the crimean parliment was taken over by a mafia gang led by Sergei Aksyonov and equipped by Moscow
and this is the truth, and go online and read about all the details, what time it happened, name of the security guard they tied up
vrs your "story" by your uncle sasha that the CIA was backing the Kiev Junta or whatever...
Russia doesn't even need to waste money on Facebook and twitter for you
you've ALREADY been programmed
You can not accept a difference in opinion, can you?
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"You can not accept a difference in opinion, can you?"
not at all
I accept that EVERY person has an opinion
I only object to labeling opinions and biases as "facts"
facts can be validated, stories and opinions by dadooska nyet
unfortunately a lot of opinions today are mass produced by those in power and swallowed by gullible masses
I am not one of them
I know EXACTLY what went down in Crimea in 2014
and the catastrophe it has produced for the people living in Crimea today, saw it first hand two months ago
facts, not my opinion...
Q: how much will Russians sacrifice to keep Putin in power?
A: everything!
why don’t Russians realize that their patriotism was programmed into them by the state to keep them obedient to power?
“starry rodina nostalgie” are the strings they pull in your Russian soul so you will dance to whatever tune the government is playing for you
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"You can not accept a difference in opinion, can you?"
I see Donna checking out soon.
Donna, thanks for your kindness towards me 15 years ago. I really appreciated your encouraging PMs during that dark time.
2 AM here and I am turning in.
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Hey.
Take it outside. No need to mess up this constructive thread with a lot of stuff about who is who in Krim.
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I see Donna checking out soon.
Donna, thanks for your kindness towards me 15 years ago. I really appreciated your encouraging PMs during that dark time.
2 AM here and I am turning in.
Thank you. I am impressed you remeber because I do not. :-)
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my bad...
so tell us more then about your couple then
how old are they, a 3rd grader means RW is in her late 20s to late 30s
how old is the WM? based on your comments, is he 60+?
what does he do for a living, what state, etc
how far along is he in this relationship
otherwise... back to crimea
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"You can not accept a difference in opinion, can you?"
not at all
I accept that EVERY person has an opinion
I only object to labeling opinions and biases as "facts"
facts can be validated, stories and opinions by dadooska nyet
unfortunately a lot of opinions today are mass produced by those in power and swallowed by gullible masses
I am not one of them
I know EXACTLY what went down in Crimea in 2014
and the catastrophe it has produced for the people living in Crimea today, saw it first hand two months ago
facts, not my opinion...
Q: how much will Russians sacrifice to keep Putin in power?
A: everything!
why don’t Russians realize that their patriotism was programmed into them by the state to keep them obedient to power?
“starry rodina nostalgie” are the strings they pull in your Russian soul so you will dance to whatever tune the government is playing for you
per popular request, this game needs to be moved to a different sandbox. :P
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I know of a woman who is dating a man from the US and has a son who is around the third grade age. She is stymied in her relationship because she feels that a Russian education is better for her son - particularly the discipline and the amount of education received at these younger ages. She believes that she cannot move to the US because of this differential.
If any readers have anecdotal evidence one way or the other, or have married an FSUW and moved a stepchild to the US, I would be happy to pass it on.
I think it is a topic that merits discussion.
suggest the woman to join Русская Мама USA (Russian nom USA) FB group. Most of the members are women from Ukrain and she can address all her educational concerns there.
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if you were hoping for some platitudes from me about the joys of raising bi-lingual Russian/English speaking children, you came to the wrong malchick!
rasing children is damned hard work, it takes precedent over everything else in your life
I see a lot of parents who are more selfish, and less focused on their kids
so not everyone takes the total dedication and focus route
I’d just find it hard to be so invested in someone else’s son
what’s the pay-off for Dad’s support?
is it mom’s affections, is that how this is supposed to work?
curious what happens to poor daddy, when his wife is unhappy with him for some reason and his stepson tells him to "F.OFF."
ohh, he thinks they'll be grateful to him for bringing them to the USA
no they won't....
if his relationship goes sour, double the mess to clean up after
AND child support for a kid that's not even his
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Krimster -
The age difference is a little under twenty years. She's mid to late thirties.
I have seen the man and woman together. They are very close.
There are many women who come to the US as a better place to raise their children and then, once they have their green cards, leave their man. Somehow, this doesn't come across that way.
She is talented at what she does (graphic artist) and is employable here in the US.
I really think that the issue in her mind is whether the child would succeed here in the US. And I put it on the man for the introductions necessary for that to happen.
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Jone --I would think that the guys economic circumstances has a potential for considerable differences in the quality of educational opportunity.
To state the obvious--there is a vast difference in the US between the "have got" and 'have not got" worlds. Every aspect of potential lifestyle will impact on a child's life .
A guy capable of affording a decent lifestyle will have a far better chance of long term "success" imo ! :)
The krimster raises some real issues on his own feelings -- that will mirror many other guys -- so a guy needs to have his head very together. That only reinforces my point above -- he needs to have his overall act together and understand what he is getting in to !!
What will help you get into Harvard? Super-rich parents with a chequebook and pen
Want a place at Harvard? Persuade your parents to give the university a nice gift. A new building, perhaps, or a million dollars for a fellowship. That sort of thing.
It has long been understood that you can, to some extent, buy your way into many of the US’s prestigious universities. There are certainly plenty of examples of people with more money than sense being admitted to elite educational institutions.
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/oct/21/what-will-help-you-get-into-harvard-super-rich-parents
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“I really think that the issue in her mind is whether the child would succeed here in the US. And I put it on the man for the introductions necessary for that to happen.”
I will accept your assessment of the legitimacy of their relationship!
as well as your conclusion...
so what then is your point for presenting them here, if you have already resolved the obvious solution, why hasn’t “the man” already figured this out himself and already done it
something in this story is still being hidden
something...not quite right...
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just don’t understand why he can’t meet a single woman in Ukraine?
if he doesn’t want kids, there are gazillions of late 30ish/early fortyish women in Ukraine who are practically undatable in Ukraine,
because guys their own age are going out with much younger women and guys older than them are dead or poor
I have met a huge number of these women when I lived in Crimea, my all time favorite was a 40ish very Nordic blond woman who was sunbathing totally nude at the beach next to my house
OMG, she was 6 ft+ tall, her legs and torso were so unusually well muscled I assume she was a dancer of some type, maybe ballet amazing perfect body, and women like this abound in Ukraine...
yes, I think I'd tap that, and none of this silly "my son is 3rd grade class president" kakashka
she's already leading him around by the you know what
imagine what she'll be like when she get over HERE!
ask him how much child support he thinks he'll owe her when they divorce
this should make him think a little
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Krimster -
The age difference is a little under twenty years. She's mid to late thirties.
I have seen the man and woman together. They are very close.
There are many women who come to the US as a better place to raise their children and then, once they have their green cards, leave their man. Somehow, this doesn't come across that way.
She is talented at what she does (graphic artist) and is employable here in the US.
I really think that the issue in her mind is whether the child would succeed here in the US. And I put it on the man for the introductions necessary for that to happen.
If the kid is in grade 3 that means he's 8 or 9. Get him some help to learn English and put him in a class appropriate for his previous schooling and he'll do fine, assuming the school is decent. I've seen lots of immigrant kids who know no English come to the US and with a little help thrive and do well in school and later in university.
In the end the child's success is up to the parents, in this case the mother in particular. The step father has to be comfortable raising the boy and be willing to financially support him but in the end the mother has to be the child's main support.
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Jone --I would think that the guys economic circumstances has a potential for considerable differences in the quality of educational opportunity.
To state the obvious--there is a vast difference in the US between the "have got" and 'have not got" worlds. Every aspect of potential lifestyle will impact on a child's life .
A guy capable of affording a decent lifestyle will have a far better chance of long term "success" imo ! :)
The krimster raises some real issues on his own feelings -- that will mirror many other guys -- so a guy needs to have his head very together. That only reinforces my point above -- he needs to have his overall act together and understand what he is getting in to !!
What will help you get into Harvard? Super-rich parents with a chequebook and pen
Want a place at Harvard? Persuade your parents to give the university a nice gift. A new building, perhaps, or a million dollars for a fellowship. That sort of thing.
It has long been understood that you can, to some extent, buy your way into many of the US’s prestigious universities. There are certainly plenty of examples of people with more money than sense being admitted to elite educational institutions.
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/oct/21/what-will-help-you-get-into-harvard-super-rich-parents
Yale, maybe. Not Harvard so much. A man I know is worth 7 billion. His daughter was the top student from a top prep school in a populous Midwestern State. She was rejected by Harvard but went on to become Valedictorian in the excellent school she did attend. Harvard has now offered this woman a place in their MBA program.
Yale, on the other hand, has a legacy program. One of the dumbest kids in my son's age group got into Yale, primarily because of his family name and the fact that it was on one of the buildings at Yale. They gave him a sports admission, even though, as coach of one of his teams, he couldn't even hit a baseball, which is the sport that they gave him entry into the school.
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I did use the link to illustrate the extreme top end difference potential -- but --even at basic elementary /middle school level there are vast differences in schools .
To me -- that is by far the biggest issue .
A lot will depend on location & family circumstances.
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Want a place at Harvard? Persuade your parents to give the university a nice gift. A new building, perhaps, or a million dollars for a fellowship. That sort of thing.
As a mom of a Harvard graduate I have a more practical approach - persuade your children to work harder at school. Invest in his (her) development rather than meaningless gifts to the University, i.e. private schools, study abroad programmes, etc. With enough effort it is doable. And Harvard is free for those with family income less then $65K.
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"persuade your children to work harder at school. Invest in his (her) development rather than meaningless gifts to the University, i.e. private schools, study abroad programmes, etc. With enough effort it is doable."
I totally agree with that!
invest as much as you can in your children
not just money, but your time and effort
it will shape who they become and who THEIR children become
your efforts will have effect long after you have passed away
but I don't think the thread is ultimately about education
but instead about the dreaded "lingering doubts" on someone's mind
any guesses
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Hi Donna,
Congratulations on 17 years of marriage. My wife and I had our 15th a few months ago. Good to see one of the "old-timers") still alive and well. I am still in contact with JB & Etna in Corpus Christi every now and then. Good to hear from you.
Capt B
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Thank you. I am impressed you remeber because I do not. :-)
Donna, I remember a time I would duck when I heard a Russian accent, especially from a woman. Your niceness towards me and from other Russian women on that board quickly got me over my paranoia towards Russian women. My mother told me, "I bet you will never get involved with a Russian woman again." She seemed a bit surprised when I hesitated on what to say and then said, "Well, they are not all the same. Many of them are rather nice". Of course running through my mind was you and all the others I had contact with at RW-G.
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Donna, I remember a time I would duck when I heard a Russian accent, especially from a woman. Your niceness towards me and from other Russian women on that board quickly got me over my paranoia towards Russian women. My mother told me, "I bet you will never get involved with a Russian woman again." She seemed a bit surprised when I hesitated on what to say and then said, "Well, they are not all the same. Many of them are rather nice". Of course running through my mind was you and all the others I had contact with at RW-G.
Me? Nice? Let me show it to my husband, or he wouldnt believe.
Some of us are nice indeed, but people get bruised in a process of fining one. I am glad you are OK now.
Hi Donna,
Congratulations on 17 years of marriage. My wife and I had our 15th a few months ago. Good to see one of the "old-timers") still alive and well. I am still in contact with JB & Etna in Corpus Christi every now and then. Good to hear from you.
Capt B
Thanks CaptB. Glad to see you. Congratulations on your 15 years of marriage. There are not too many of us left who are still going on steady. Glad to hear JB and Etna are OK. I think aikrob is OK too. Those were good ol' days.. I enjoyed them.
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"Me? Nice? Let me show it to my husband, or he wouldnt believe."
:) :) :)
no one is allowed to be "nice" in Russia!
it's a cut-throat culture
it's kill or be killed...
that's how it seemed to me
you better assert yourself at all times
or everyone there will push you around anyway they can
no one cares at all about anyone else but themselves and their family and their little apartment...
there is no accountability or responsibility for anything by anyone anywhere in Russia no one CARES!
everything the Russian government tells you are just LIES!
and Russians have gotten so used to the government lying to them generation after generation
that they don't see anything wrong with it - that it's NORMAL!
because of this, once again, an Iron Curtain is beginning to descend on Russia
Russian mothers cry over their sons killed in Ukraine and Syria
WHY? FOR WHOM?
YOU KNOW WHO - Volchick is is his name
you care about the future of Russian children, really?
how many Russian children already have no future whatsoever
because they lay buried in secret Russian cemeteries by the many hundreds
you can conveniently read about this thanks to the efforts of Boris Nemtsov
google his name and his report, you can find original in Russian or English translation
this report got him killed!
you don't want to acknowledge this, fine...
you want to talk this school vrs that school fine
but let's be realistic about what is REALLY happening in the world
and what's important
and what's not....
so no niceness...
no wonder so many people want to get the hell out of there!
anyone with two or more brain cells making synaptic contacts would arrive at the same conclusion
leave there!
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Congratulations Donna on your son graduating from Harvard and seventeen years of marriage. That is a lot to be proud about!
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Congratulations Donna on your son graduating from Harvard and seventeen years of marriage. That is a lot to be proud about!
Thank you, we ARE very proud of him. As far as my marriage goes, I have always been very comitted to making it work no matter what. It was not easy with both of us being so hard headed. When we started taking dance classes, instructors were rolling on the floor in laughter while we were trying to figure out who leads in this family in a very colorfull language. And they told us dancing strengthen marriages. They strengthen all right - one fight on a dance floor and your marriage is safe for a week. My english vocabulary got rather enriched too.
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...Thanks CaptB. Glad to see you. Congratulations on your 15 years of marriage. There are not too many of us left who are still going on steady. Glad to hear JB and Etna are OK. I think aikrob is OK too. Those were good ol' days.. I enjoyed them.
Didn't we meet in Moscow once, DP? Or maybe when I was there on my first trip and met with Phil and his then GF, I may have missed you..13 years went by so fast..
This was my first post on RWD..http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=596.0
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Didn't we meet in Moscow once, DP? Or maybe when I was there on my first trip and met with Phil and his then GF, I may have missed you..13 years went by so fast..
This was my first post on RWD..http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=596.0 (http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=596.0)
WE might have met, but I can barely remember things from so long ago.
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WE might have met, but I can barely remember things from so long ago.
DP-
Just remembered. Yes! You were gracious enough to actually accompany me through the metro maze to get back to my hotel at Tverskaya after we left the bar where I met you, Phil and his girlfriend at that time.
Yeah, that was indeed a long time ago though.
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DP-
Just remembered. Yes! You were gracious enough to actually accompany me through the metro maze to get back to my hotel at Tverskaya after we left the bar where I met you, Phil and his girlfriend at that time.
Yeah, that was indeed a long time ago though.
I remember a little bit.. Was it Reddison Hotel?
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I remember a little bit.. Was it Reddison Hotel?
Yeah, that's it! Radisson Slavyanskaya Tverskaya by the train station.
Just Googled it. http://www.radissonblu.com/en/slavyanskayahotel-moscow
Dang! Memories with that hotel! :P
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Thank you, we ARE very proud of him. As far as my marriage goes, I have always been very comitted to making it work no matter what. It was not easy with both of us being so hard headed. When we started taking dance classes, instructors were rolling on the floor in laughter while we were trying to figure out who leads in this family in a very colorfull language. And they told us dancing strengthen marriages. They strengthen all right - one fight on a dance floor and your marriage is safe for a week. My english vocabulary got rather enriched too.
You might not get the analogy or appreciate what I am about to say, but you two remind me of my favorite breed of dog, the English Bull Terrier. Super stubborn, thick headed when they want to be, tough as nails and very, very funny to watch! My favorite Bull Terrier was named 'Ripley'. I named her after the main character, Sigourney Weaver, 'Ellen Ripley' in the movies, Alien and Aliens.
(http://farm2.staticflickr.com/1979/45471273862_ac4cc316bb.jpg)
Another cRaZy Maxx post I know! :cluebat:
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I have a couple of my own chinese shar-peis which fit your description too. Stubborn, have selective hearing of a teenager, but funny and lovable.
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(http://farm2.staticflickr.com/1979/45471273862_ac4cc316bb.jpg)
Another cRaZy Maxx post I know! :cluebat:
Are these yours?
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Are these yours?
No, but Ripley looked just like the white one. My hope someday is to get another 'Bully'. Right now I am still looking for a place to put down roots. I am at the moment an airbnb surfer.
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I have a couple of my own chinese shar-peis which fit your description too. Stubborn, have selective hearing of a teenager, but funny and lovable.
They look very lovable. Real personalities with a sense of humor.