Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone

[Trenchcoat]

Jay, if James accepts that this is an insincere woman who is two timing him as on the western sense it is already lost. If he can see that it's a different game and those rules don't hold true in the FSU then there is hope. His choice.

[2tallbill]

Trench, you can't call somebody that especially a female.

Ha, ha very funny Boethius, you bitch!

[Trenchcoat]

Trench, you can't call somebody that especially a female.

I was joking Bill, besides she gave as good as she got.

[Davo2]

I was joking Bill, besides she gave as good as she got.

How funny was it the last time you jokingly called a person of African origin a "N"?...... Seriously Trench, there's no difference.

[Davo2]

The fact that you are single probably means that you are doing stuff wrong but don't realise it. You say she was from another continent, do you know the dating culture there and culture in general? Or do you decide there's two people in the relationship but only one of those two people's idea of how a relationship runs is valid? You are still looking for a FSW but more importantly as you seem to indicate you have not picked up experience  along the way.

People bang on here about my 'failures' dating in the FSU. I don't see it as that, I see it as learning experiences. Virtually every time I have learnt something new and to me valuable information that I can utilise when I (hopefully) meet the right woman.

The 'man' that would accept such a situation would be the one that understands common dating practice in the FSU. It's alien to us, we see it as weak and insincere. That we are being played for whatever by the woman. Well you can either play the game or lose out, don't hate the player hats the game as they say. You think Lyndon that by bulldozing the issue of the other guy into her she will fold and kick the other guy to the curb. 'That' is western dating morals and attitudes, that is the western dating game. I am telling you there is more chance of hell freezing over than that happening. FSW are as stubborn as the word stubborn defines, she will not do that. She doesn't understand western dating game and even if explained to her she won't understand. She sees that she is doing nothing untoward and no matter how many times it is explained to her she won't. It is pointless bringing it up it will just cause arguments that will damage the relationship. The only way is for Lyndon to accept that he's efforts to date do not grant him any special status in the FSU. If he wants this woman for anything more than sex he is going to have to commit to her. At the moment he is just another playmate, that is the way out there. If you don't get with thd game Lyndon you'll unlikely get far with many FSW.

Now I know the game it doesn't bother me. I would rather know what the game is and how to win at it than not be in the game at all or not see the game as worth playing as in the west.

http://www.google.com/amp/s/www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/the-definition-of-exclusive-dating-vs-a-relationship/amp/

Trench, date locally before you go any further. You have it completely wrong......read the article.

The OP is in the first "casual stage" if he hasn't had a honest talk with her about being 100% exclusive. This topic is all over the  internet on any other site you'd be told you're worried about nothing as it's a new relationship.

[Trenchcoat]

How funny was it the last time you jokingly called a person of African origin a "N"?...... Seriously Trench, there's no difference.

I never have, if you can find where I have on this forum please state. I think in the western world everything has gotten a bit too PC. Boethius had no more reason to be upset over my comment than me hers. This is an informal forum guys no need to get so uptight. I don't hold any potentially personal comment Boethius or anyone else has made of me against them.

[Trenchcoat]

http://www.google.com/amp/s/www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/the-definition-of-exclusive-dating-vs-a-relationship/amp/

Trench, date locally before you go any further. You have it completely wrong......read the article.

The OP is in the first "casual stage" if he hasn't had a honest talk with her about being 100% exclusive. This topic is all over the  internet on any other site you'd be told you're worried about nothing as it's a new relationship.

You're in Australia!!!!! Australia is not the UK. If anything the link looked more closely aligned with dating in probably much of the US, particularly California and of course Australia. In the UK we tend not to date like that. It tends to mean exclusive from the moment a date is agreed between two people. Dating is quite traditional here. Those that stray at looked upon as two timers, insincere even deceitful, etc.

Why do you think all the UK guys (apparently including Mobers) all said (apart from me) that James should front up girl that what she was doing was wrong. It's because we don't do casual dating here. I was trying to get across the point that it is different in the FSU, not quite casual dating in the US/Australia sense as in the article but certainly at odds with what nearly all UK men expect. Now James is free to chose and play it as he wants. I don't hold it against him if he chooses others advice I am just stating my opinion that's all.

[ML]

After sledging in lift to apartment . . .

What the he!! is this ??

[Davo2]

You're in Australia!!!!! Australia is not the UK. If anything the link looked more closely aligned with dating in probably much of the US, particularly California and of course Australia. In the UK we tend not to date like that. It tends to mean exclusive from the moment a date is agreed between two people. Dating is quite traditional here. Those that stray at looked upon as two timers, insincere even deceitful, etc.

Why do you think all the UK guys (apparently including Mobers) all said (apart from me) that James should front up girl that what she was doing was wrong. It's because we don't do casual dating here. I was trying to get across the point that it is different in the FSU, not quite casual dating in the US/Australia sense as in the article but certainly at odds with what nearly all UK men expect. Now James is free to chose and play it as he wants. I don't hold it against him if he chooses others advice I am just stating my opinion that's all.

As I said Trench, you've been out of the local dating game for too long. When's the last time you went on a date or been in a relationship?

Times have changed, you can't take for granted that you're exclusive in the first few months, unless you've agreed to be.

http://uk.parship.com/magazine/a-real-relationship/are-the-british-now-multiple-daters-rather-than-serial-monogamists.htm

I've got single mates who play county cricket in England and are actually experiencing your dating scene and it's exactly the same as here.

[LAman]

The OP is in the first "casual stage" if he hasn't had a honest talk with her about being 100% exclusive. This topic is all over the  internet on any other site you'd be told you're worried about nothing as it's a new relationship.

First causal stage?? Is looking to move your gf and son to your country casual?

Hi all I'm a UK guy.  Having had a rough divorce from a UK woman I'm now dating a beautiful Ukranain she has a 5 year old son from her first marriage.  I've read all the official UK government paperwork but would like some advice on the process of moving this little family to the UK.  Her ex hasn't seen his son for 4 years.  She is my 5th FSU relationship and I have the experience to say they were all so much better than UK women.

[Davo2]

First causal stage?? Is looking to move your gf and son to your country casual?

That's the  nature of the beast I guess. This is fast paced dating and if you actually think about it we are all f#%king crazy. Who in their right mind would consider getting married after what equates to a few weeks to a month, on a  local dating timeline.

I would hope a girl is smart enough to explore all her options until a firm comment is made. This is the most important decision anyone makes and for her far more risky.

[John Gaunt]

That's the  nature of the beast I guess. This is fast paced dating and if you actually think about it we are all f#%king crazy. Who in their right mind would consider getting married after what equates to a few weeks to a month, on a  local dating timeline.

I would hope a girl is smart enough to explore all her options until a firm comment is made. This is the most important decision anyone makes and for her far more risky.

From James description this is much beyond the first casual dating stages. He’s practically living with her in her apartment looking after her kid.
No, she’s been playing him and he should have that discussion with her and go from there.
Right now it appears he’s made up his mind to stay on till the end of his planned visit and just use her for sex, then dump her after getting back home.

[John Gaunt]

You're in Australia!!!!! Australia is not the UK. If anything the link looked more closely aligned with dating in probably much of the US, particularly California and of course Australia. In the UK we tend not to date like that. It tends to mean exclusive from the moment a date is agreed between two people. Dating is quite traditional here.
Those that stray at looked upon as two timers, insincere even deceitful, etc.

Why do you think all the UK guys (apparently including Mobers) all said (apart from me) that James should front up girl that what she was doing was wrong. It's because we don't do casual dating here. I was trying to get across the point that it is different in the FSU, not quite casual dating in the US/Australia sense as in the article but certainly at odds with what nearly all UK men expect. Now James is free to chose and play it as he wants. I don't hold it against him if he chooses others advice I am just stating my opinion that's all.

Complete bollocks as usual.

[JayH]

What the he!! is this ??

eg  sledging on sports field = in US bad mouthing or provocative insults that can be humorous or pointed

So in this case --verbal comments with negative connotation

Guessing !

http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/sledging
sledging noun [ U ] (INSULTING) ​ informal the act of one sports player insulting another during a game, in order to make them angry. Insults & abuse.

[msmob]

  Anyway she got in bed with me 7 am and left for work 8 am.

 

Oldest trick in the book - 'weaponised' sex ....   ?

[Jamesukjames]

Sledging is what we did snow hill street lights a plastic and an old metal sledge no pun.  It's ok I've figured out I'm in sugar daddies apartment and he probably paid for her family holiday so he's being played and I'm being played for the British passport that he won't step up to.  Obviously once she has the British passport I would guess retrain and divorce me if an upgrade comes along.  Obviously I've pieced this together from more than a phone call.   she just left for the gym looking 18 not 38. 

[rwd123]

How does it feel to have a sugar daddy? Nice of him to put you up, maybe you should see if you can score a trip to Turkey.

Cut your losses, spend some time in Kyiv or even visit another city. Odessa may be nice without the tourists.

[SteveInBoston]

Sledging is what we did snow hill street lights a plastic and an old metal sledge no pun.  It's ok I've figured out I'm in sugar daddies apartment and he probably paid for her family holiday so he's being played and I'm being played for the British passport that he won't step up to.  Obviously once she has the British passport I would guess retrain and divorce me if an upgrade comes along.  Obviously I've pieced this together from more than a phone call.   she just left for the gym looking 18 not 38.

Hmm.  A week ago she is the best thing since sliced bread - sweet, loving, affectionate, warm, caring and devoted.  Now she's a two-timing hussy playing you and the other guy.   One extreme to the next.  I'm not sure your analysis of her are all that accurate

Obviously once you committed to her she would drop the other guy or pretend to, not counter with "I don't want to be exclusive", if she is just after your passport.

Obviously she has invited you to her home, showered you with hospitality, and you just trash talk her here on the board.

Obviously you suspect everything and anything after a 3 months on-line relationship with 6 weeks of face time that you treat like a done deal with just some paperwork before you import your MOB.   

Yes, cut your losses, be a man, stop mooching off of her or her "sugar daddy", and find your own place in Sumy or Kyiv. 

[John Gaunt]

Sledging is what we did snow hill street lights a plastic and an old metal sledge no pun.  It's ok I've figured out I'm in sugar daddies apartment and he probably paid for her family holiday so he's being played and I'm being played for the British passport that he won't step up to.  Obviously once she has the British passport I would guess retrain and divorce me if an upgrade comes along.  Obviously I've pieced this together from more than a phone call.   she just left for the gym looking 18 not 38.

It seems you can’t get enough of that 18  year old looking body. Nuff said.....

[msmob]

Better to spend time in the gym that trolling most folks posts, eh ?

[John Gaunt]

Better to spend time in the gym that trolling most folks posts, eh ?

Hark at thee.....

[lyndontom]

The fact that you are single probably means that you are doing stuff wrong but don't realise it. You say she was from another continent, do you know the dating culture there and culture in general? Or do you decide there's two people in the relationship but only one of those two people's idea of how a relationship runs is valid? You are still looking for a FSW but more importantly as you seem to indicate you have not picked up experience  along the way.

People bang on here about my 'failures' dating in the FSU. I don't see it as that, I see it as learning experiences. Virtually every time I have learnt something new and to me valuable information that I can utilise when I (hopefully) meet the right woman.

The 'man' that would accept such a situation would be the one that understands common dating practice in the FSU. It's alien to us, we see it as weak and insincere. That we are being played for whatever by the woman. Well you can either play the game or lose out, don't hate the player hats the game as they say. You think Lyndon that by bulldozing the issue of the other guy into her she will fold and kick the other guy to the curb. 'That' is western dating morals and attitudes, that is the western dating game. I am telling you there is more chance of hell freezing over than that happening. FSW are as stubborn as the word stubborn defines, she will not do that. She doesn't understand western dating game and even if explained to her she won't understand. She sees that she is doing nothing untoward and no matter how many times it is explained to her she won't. It is pointless bringing it up it will just cause arguments that will damage the relationship. The only way is for Lyndon to accept that he's efforts to date do not grant him any special status in the FSU. If he wants this woman for anything more than sex he is going to have to commit to her. At the moment he is just another playmate, that is the way out there. If you don't get with thd game Lyndon you'll unlikely get far with many FSW.

Now I know the game it doesn't bother me. I would rather know what the game is and how to win at it than not be in the game at all or not see the game as worth playing as in the west.

I respect the fact that you're trying to unpick me to make yourself look like you know what you're talking about. Others will I'm sure dismantle your wisdom so I don't need to stoop to that level.


Simple fact is it doesn't matter which continent that are from, you don't understand women, period. I am almost half your age, have twice your brains (I won't even go near the subject of money) and a million times more dating experience than you. You continue to demonstrate your clueless, no need to point it out further.

[Trenchcoat]

Well back on topic of this thread I think you can sure get some strange dating situations in Ukraine. I know what it's like as you can be there thinking all sorts of strange stuff trying to make sense of the situation, I've been there. The girl I was with back in 2017 was like this, during that first week I was with her in Kiev I was thinking all sorts trying to make sense of the situation. Most I cared not to share on here at the time as I didn't think many of the guys interjections would help, be off target and probably just wind me up still further. It was probably for the best at the time. I later learned that some of my fears were actually unfounded. Even still it was a pretty strange dating situation at the time. I knew from the first girl I met though that it's not always straight forward but even still my mind was jumping around all over the place.

I don't really know if the other guy here is a sugar daddy funding her lifestyle. Some girls manage tO swing that in Ukraine - sometimes in the format of a sponsor - not meaning to add to James's anguish. She may have just saved the money herself or she may have got it from him. I'm always skeptical of where the money comes from with Ukrainian girls so it could explain it. Even of it does she probably doesn't relate to it in the stark terms James thinks off. I find Ukrainian women don't tend to have a conceptual sort of mind but one where things are as they are without much thought input into it all. So I'm not sure whether she would see it as the other guys the sugar daddy funding it etc as James thinks. I can see how he it there as again it's a western way of thinking/teeming the situation. I'm still thinking that she just thinks this more as an open situation where whatever happens and wishes to consider both guys.

[Trenchcoat]

I respect the fact that you're trying to unpick me to make yourself look like you know what you're talking about. Others will I'm sure dismantle your wisdom so I don't need to stoop to that level.


Simple fact is it doesn't matter which continent that are from, you don't understand women, period. I am almost half your age, have twice your brains (I won't even go near the subject of money) and a million times more dating experience than you. You continue to demonstrate your clueless, no need to point it out further.

You're in your early twenties? ???

If so then you will be lacking in the experience an older guy like me has in growing up in society that had changed over time and experience at being able to see what is really going on in society and relationships.

Yeah, I know in you're early to mid twenties you think - 'this girl is into me because I'm all that' - unfortunately  I can tell you there is usually a lot more to it than that even if you wish to not think it. Lyndon you want to think that you can remain in the comfort of taking your dating game several thousand miles away to another country and are secure I your belief that it will all be the same. 'You know your game and how things work' well guess what that is not even close to the mark of how things work in Ukraine. The same dating game cannot be transposed from the UK and work there however much you think it can. It's time to let go of your security blanket and get over there, start from ground zero and work out what really is going on.

[lyndontom]

You're in your early twenties? ???

If so then you will be lacking in the experience an older guy like me has in growing up in society that had changed over time and experience at being able to see what is really going on in society and relationships.

Yeah, I know in you're early to mid twenties you think - 'this girl is into me because I'm all that' - unfortunately  I can tell you there is usually a lot more to it than that even if you wish to not think it. Lyndon you want to think that you can remain in the comfort of taking your dating game several thousand miles away to another country and are secure I your belief that it will all be the same. 'You know your game and how things work' well guess what that is not even close to the mark of how things work in Ukraine. The same dating game cannot be transposed from the UK and work there however much you think it can. It's time to let go of your security blanket and get over there, start from ground zero and work out what really is going on.

How many trips have you had to Ukraine and how many actual dates? How many actual 'relationships' (not the girl you accused of being your sugar baby)? And yet you know more than me and most members here...

I said 'almost' half your age...irrespective, you can't even get a date in the UK so I wouldn't bother taking your 'expertise' to FSU, or trying to sell it to me. And no, people here in UK don't think things are exclusive after a first date. More Trench bollocks from all of his dating experience...time to get out of the basement mate.