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Author Topic: FIRST TRIP  (Read 8552 times)

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Offline Timmy K.

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« on: March 07, 2005, 02:46:59 PM »
IN 4 weeks I am going to Kiev,  to meet that special one.  I am really nervous.

 any advice would help

Offline Muzh

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« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2005, 02:53:42 PM »
Hey Timmy.

Have fun and see the sights.  Make sure you say sweet things to her.  Always hold her hand when walking down the street.

Now what do you really want to know?
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline Timmy K.

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« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2005, 03:21:52 PM »
  I think I have done every thing right, wrote to about 18 ladies narowed it down to about 6 and I have my favorite, got a 2 bedroom apartment lined up, used alot of advice from Bruno, staying for 3 weeks, very good communication with my favorite,I think we are meant for each other. Im just scared thats all. She is meetimg me at the airport, and is coming down from Karkiv a day early. She said supper will be ready. I really am getting the "ole stage fright"

Offline Muzh

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« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2005, 03:32:40 PM »
Still don't get it with this "fright" thing.  You are going to a beautiful place and be with a beautiful woman.  She is travelling almost 300 miles to meet you.  I know, my wife is from Kharkiv.  If she is meeting you at the airport, your goose is cooked!!  How old are you? Her?  Make sure you go to Kharkiv.  It's cheap to fly there.  Last time I paid ~$35 for me, my wife and 2 year old son one way.  And it's worth it.  However, if your lady insist you take the bus or the tain, do it, it's one hell of an experience.  Besides, you get to meet her family, which is extremely important for her and you, both.

Maybe you are getting the jitters, which is different from fear.  Come on, have fun.
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline Bruce

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« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2005, 03:41:57 PM »
Muzh is right on.  You have nothing to be afraid of.  It is your vacation.  Worst comes to worst, she is not right from day one - ship her out and move on.  Sorry to sound cold hearted but you have to move on and move on fast.  Do not linger in a bad relationship.  If things are right do go to Kharkov to meet her family - but only if you are fairly certain.  In my estimation it is best to take things fairly slow.  You can always meet her parents the second or third trip and see her city on that trip as well.  Kiev is fantastic enough to spend one or two weeks exploring with the right girl.
"A word is dead when it is said, some say.  I say it just begins to live that day."  Emily Dickinson

Offline Marc Dayton

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« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2005, 03:47:28 PM »
Holding hands, might not be something the girl will like at first you have 3 weeks take your time. Walk on the street side keep her on the inside a way from the street.

If you have never been to Russia, the cars will run you over so look each way, and follow her lead when crossing the streets.

If you have the chance you must meet mother, and father

Watch the way she act towards others, not just the way she treats you.

If she treats others, bad talks bad about all others she may one day treat you the same way. Also look to see if she trust your judgement if she dosen't this can lead to big prblems down the road.

Most inportent talk to her about how she see's the normal day to day life in a marriage. Not just a marriage but the day to day life in the marriage , and talk about how she see's her life in 10 years.

Good luck

 

 

Offline Timmy K.

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« Reply #6 on: March 07, 2005, 03:55:52 PM »
What do you mean by my goose is cooked? She is 27 I am 48, we are both in construction, love nature,  we both are 'country folk' every thing is soul to soul and heart to heart with us. Dont think I need to say more about our relationship it is very real. I do more watching on this site than writing, I get alot of good info here. But as I said its getting down to the wire and I don't want to fail.

Offline Muzh

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« Reply #7 on: March 07, 2005, 04:17:17 PM »
[user=71]Timmy K.[/user] wrote:
Quote
What do you mean by my goose is cooked? She is 27 I am 48, we are both in construction, love nature,  we both are 'country folk' every thing is soul to soul and heart to heart with us. Dont think I need to say more about our relationship it is very real. I do more watching on this site than writing, I get alot of good info here. But as I said its getting down to the wire and I don't want to fail.

You don't know when your goose is cooked?  Your done.  She's travelling all the way to Kiev to meet you so as far as she is concerned, your goose is cooked.  You're hers once you get there and it is up to you if you keep her.

And don't be afraid to fail.  Many men make the same mistake: Invested too much and are afraid to fail, therefore, get into a bad relationship.  Also, you are quite a bit older than her.  Meeting her face to face will give you both that extra insight.  If both of you still feel very compatible after this trip, my congratulations and send me a piece of wedding cake.  However, if your gut tells you something, and I can bet you my house that she is getting the same advice, listen to it and don't be afraid to "fail."

Good luck and may the force be with you.
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline Bruno

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« Reply #8 on: March 07, 2005, 08:44:15 PM »
Hello Tim,

calm down... all will be right... and in any case, you have reserve ladies...

So long time, you have search RW without positive result and now, you have 6 woman where you can choice...

And i think that these woman have enough interest in you... enough compatibility, around same height, around same job, ... and i don't know a lot of woman who go knit a sweeter for someone where she have no interest... yes Guys, she is knitting for him...

I wish you a lot of luck with Victoria... don't forget the report when you come back :D... if all is right, you go need the help from several people on these forum, for all the paperwork and K1...

Offline Albert

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« Reply #9 on: March 08, 2005, 08:27:22 AM »
My advice is NEVER to go see only one woman.  You say you have narrowed it down to one, but Bruno says you have 6 you could see.  I hope for your sake, Bruno's story is the correct one.

But another bad move is that she apparently has done the negotiations for the apartment.  This is bad because if things don't work out between you two, she could put the bad word out to the landlord about you.  You could get kicked out of apartment, and good luck trying to recover any rent money, and even better luck trying to find another apartment on short notice.

Offline Bruno

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« Reply #10 on: March 08, 2005, 09:00:35 AM »
Albert, Tim visit is prefered ( favorite, special one ) woman but he have 5 other "reserve wheels".

[line]
08/03/2005 01:46 : I am going to Kiev,  to meet that special one
[line]
08/03/2005 02:21 : wrote to about 18 ladies narowed it down to about 6 and I have my favorite

[line]

 

Offline Timmy K.

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« Reply #11 on: March 08, 2005, 09:03:36 AM »
THANK YOU ALBERT, Bruno has and is a true friend, and has given me more information than any one. Yes I have up to 6 on reserve if needed. I am going to meet the one that will probably end up being my wife. The small agency I used has the 2 bedroom apartment set up for me, in my name I have already paid a deposit. The lady I am meeting is comming down a day early, so she can be well rested, and will not have to hurry from Karkov just to meet me at the airport. She also wants to have supper waiting for me { imagine that, flying half way around the world to a home cooked Ukraine meal} Some where in this process I will be getting that hand knit swater too.  I got gifts for her already, Younkers is having a winter close out sale and I took advantage of that very good. I have 23 days to spend there.

Nervous, excited, butterflys,stage fright, you name it. One thing for sure this is a good feeling, knowing that I probably will get the opportunity to get married to one of the finest women on earth, a Ukraine woman.  This I know and if I can always remember this, I think this lucky guy will be a good man for her.

Offline Albert

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« Reply #12 on: March 08, 2005, 12:49:08 PM »
Tim, I am very happy for you.  And it is good that you have come to this site and gotten excellent advice from Bruno.

However, I am concerned that you seem so naive and inexperienced with women in general.

You should be looking at this as just a first trip and a chance to 'get your feet wet' with this entire concept and process.

You really don't know if this woman is or is not one of the 'finest women on earth.'

Would be great if it turned out like that, but you would be much better off if you didn't start out with having your heart set on the idea that you have found the perfect gal for you.

If you really are very inexperienced with women, best call off this trip and date some of the local gals even if they are not to your liking.  You need to get some experience with women.

Offline Bruno

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« Reply #13 on: March 08, 2005, 01:28:22 PM »

[line]
And it is good that you have come to this site and gotten excellent advice from Bruno.
[line]


It is already a long time that i know tim, from almost the begin of my site... if have give him some advice... i have join these forum, link my site to the forum and advice him to use it... i don't think that my advice are bad but it is always good to know other meaning...


[line]
However, I am concerned that you seem so naive and inexperienced with women in general.
[line]


I don't think that Tim is naive and inexperienced with woman... you need see him with his moto... a hell Angel... i am sure that he can have AW without problem but he have search something other that AW... he have start the process before i build my site, but he have receive bad advice of a marriage agency that i don't wish name... and he have know misluck on misluck... i have refert him to a other agency but after some time, they have refuse him because he was not a easy customer :shock:... i have give him a little more advice, send him alone on the way... and he have find himself what was the best service for him... result, in a short time, in place of woman who try scam him, he have find 6 candidate and go meet his prefered...


[line]
You really don't know if this woman is or is not one of the 'finest women on earth.'

Would be great if it turned out like that, but you would be much better off if you didn't start out with having your heart set on the idea that you have found the perfect gal for you.

[line]


What he have mean, with "finest woman on earth"... it was about "Ukrainian woman" in general... from all FSU woman, he like very much the Ukrainian one...


[line]
If you really are very inexperienced with women, best call off this trip and date some of the local gals even if they are not to your liking.  You need to get some experience with women.
[line]


Why do you think that he is always virgin !!! If he have begin search a foreign bride, it is because he have not find the right one in US... but he not mean that he have no experience with woman... Tim, don't cancel the trip, meet her and if it is not working, use the reserve women... and if it is not working again with the 5 other, enjoy your holliday and learn more about Ukrainian spirit... certainly not stay at hotel, visit a lot, go out... maybe the providence go send you a other one during your walk in street... stay positif ... you are not a looser ... and russian woman like strong man ;)... you have ready your trip and meeting with each little detail in view... you have already some plan if it is go wrong of good with these woman... you are ready to the worse, only the good can happen...


Offline Timmy K.

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« Reply #14 on: March 08, 2005, 02:25:33 PM »
HELLO ALBERT, LOL

 Inexpierienced with women? mm - World cruise USS Enterprise, I'm 49 years old, worked construction and lived in every western state, had girl friends and live ins even in Japan, Phillipines, al most went for philipino gal be fore this, big family of girls,13 cousins all girls, I was sencond oldest, had to babysit, change diapers, never hurt a hair on their head, I am not a pervert either, just saying been with a lot of women all over and grew up around a lot of women, got 2 younger sisters that say they love their big brother, all those cousins look up to me .Why? They respect me for being a good , kind, considerate, helpful, and a protector a few times.I was a big brother to all of them. Don't owe child support and no abortions with any woman. Taught with the old family farmer style of living, German,and needless to say I  respect women.  Yes I believe that RW/ UKRAINE women are quite possibly the finest women on earth.

 Albert

There is a principal which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments, and which can not fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance, that principle is contempt prior to investgation.   Herbert Spencer

Offline Elen

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« Reply #15 on: March 08, 2005, 07:30:57 PM »
Quote
2 younger sisters that say they love their big brother

 

That is a big defect of nominate at husband's role:D

Offline Timmy K.

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« Reply #16 on: March 08, 2005, 07:50:17 PM »
ELEN,   Why do you say a big defect of nominate at husbands role, could you explain to me what you mean, I have an open mind and I feel no question is a dumb question.  When I said my sisters love me it is because I have been a good older brother and also I am a very good uncle to their children.

Offline Elen

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« Reply #17 on: March 08, 2005, 10:03:05 PM »
Well because I'm married at such person. His younger sisters just used to think their older good brother was thier own "property". And as we in Russia always have a "need" in males' hands we very often could not share my poor husband among me, his sisters and his mother (as well). He always had to decide which dacha he would plow this Sunday, wich mother in low he's obligated to drive at railstaion (or meet there) , whose children we should to take at summer vacation with us and so far.

Never mind they have their own husbads, who always ate busy somewhere.

And as there are three of them (I don't count my husband cos he "has not" his voice in dicussions among females ) and I'm the only one so usually I lost an action:?.

Well that's only my experience (though I do know many other examples of such kind)

Offline GregfromGa

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« Reply #18 on: March 09, 2005, 03:14:06 AM »
Timmy it looks like we'll be in Kiev about the same time. If the wheels come off then I can get you my number there so you can call. I have a few connections in Kiev and Kharkov. I'll be there with my wifes family in Kiev for 14 days. She's actually from Kharkov,but it's too cold to wander around Kharkov these days. The only thing I'll say is if things aint going right and she aint acting right and you know the relationship is going nowhere fast and in a hurry then dont be afraid to abort the mission and move. I know you're a nice guy and a respected gentleman,but if it aint working and she asks to to take her on a shopping spree then get the hell outta there.

Offline Muzh

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« Reply #19 on: March 09, 2005, 09:16:20 AM »
Quote from: albert
Tim, I am very happy for you.<snip>
However, I am concerned that you seem so naive and inexperienced with women in general.

You should be looking at this as just a first trip and a chance to 'get your feet wet' with this entire concept and process.< snipped some BS>

Albert:

You've been posting on some lists.  When did you marry a RW?

It seems to me you are the Energizer Bunny: He keeps going, and going, and going...

I'll tell you what.  I wrote to only one (actually phoned her 99% of the time), visited only one, and married only one.  Probably I was naive and inexperienced too?

The MAN made a decision, as it should be.  Let him be.
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline Muzh

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« Reply #20 on: March 09, 2005, 09:23:40 AM »
Quote from: Elen
Well because I'm married at such person. His younger sisters just used to think their older good brother was thier own "property". And as we in Russia always have a "need" in males' hands we very often could not share my poor husband among me, his sisters and his mother (as well). He always had to decide which dacha he would plow this Sunday, wich mother in low he's obligated to drive at railstaion (or meet there) , whose children we should to take at summer vacation with us and so far.

Sorry Elen, different worlds.  In Russia out of necessity.  I do understand Timmy when he stated that his younger sisters love him the way they do.  Here it is every fathers' wish that the older boy look after his sisters.  In a country that prides itself in keeping family at bay, a special relationship between brothers and sisters tend to unite them in a way that for you would be normal, but not normal in this country.

I think you are wrong on this one.  Again, different worlds.
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline Elen

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« Reply #21 on: March 09, 2005, 09:41:29 AM »
Quote
I think you are wrong on this one

:? Understand nothing where I'm "wrong".  Here it's normal as well that older brother takes care about younger sisters, but very often it continues the whole life time. And no one wife (eigther Russian or American) would be pleasured if her husband spends his weeked, taking care abour sister's problems

 
Quote
In a country that prides itself in keeping family at bay, a special relationship between brothers and sisters tend to unite them in a way that for you would be normal, but not normal in this country.

I'm lost in words "you" and "this" country:?

 

Offline Muzh

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« Reply #22 on: March 09, 2005, 10:02:59 AM »
Quote from: Elen
I'm lost in words "you" and "this" country:?

Okay, let me try again.  You are assuming that family relations in the USA are similar to family relations in the former Soyuz.  This is where you are wrong.  Especially this statement:

"And no one wife (eigther Russian or American) would be pleasured if her husband spends his weeked, taking care abour sister's problems"

When there is a special bond between brother and sister, the whole family gets involved.  That means that, on the average, even the brother's wife would be part of any "activity" that would help his sister and she (the wife) would encourage it.  This doesn't happen here on a regular basis.  It is more the exception than the rule.

Second part.  You = you, Elen.  This = USA.  So I'm talking about the USA's perception of family which is very different from the former Soyuz.  Panimazh?

 
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline Elen

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« Reply #23 on: March 09, 2005, 10:13:44 AM »
Quote
Okay, let me try again.  You are assuming that family relations in the USA are similar to family relations in the former Soyuz.  This is where you are wrong

Yeah? I thought guy was interested how his "qualities" would be valued by Russian wife (but not American one)

 So it's more likely to speak about family relations in former Soyz but not in the USA.  And as Russian "potential" wife still keeps in her Russian brains Russian traditions the existence of two younger sisters may be classificated as a "defect" of "potential" husband:P:P:P. That was a point. And there in NOTHING wrong with it.

Offline Muzh

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« Reply #24 on: March 09, 2005, 11:06:12 AM »
Elen:

I really think that you are not understanding what I'm saying.  What I'm saying is that his qualities here with American Women (his sisters) would be a plus with his Russian lady.

That you find your husband has been taken away from you by his sister is another story.

Here, his sisters will provide the necessary support for the RW to aclimate faster in the USA and also feel welcomed as part of the family, which is very important, don't you think???
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline anzo

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« Reply #25 on: March 09, 2005, 11:26:46 AM »
Hey Timmy

     To get back on topic a little bit here, yea the whole thing is going to be a little scary at first. Lots of new stuff to absorb. But fear and excitement are just 2 sides of the same coin. I will say that if you like the way she looks in photos, she's just going to KILL you when you first meet! Any little use-your-head talks you've given yourself are going to be forgotten in, oh, about 30 seconds. Have fun!!!!!

Anzo

Offline tim 360

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« Reply #26 on: March 09, 2005, 12:25:15 PM »
Hey Timmy,  Sounds like you have your trip lined up well and you have a back-up,  nothin' for you to be too nervous about.  It should be a good experience.  Just....drink bottled water.  Cheerio, Tim
"Never argue with a fool,  onlookers may not be able to tell the difference".  Mark Twain

Offline Elen

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« Reply #27 on: March 09, 2005, 06:32:17 PM »
 
Quote
really think that you are not understanding what I'm saying.  What I'm saying is that his qualities here with American Women (his sisters) would be a plus with his Russian lady.


And it seems you don't try  a little to understand what I'm talking about. All you say is true (may be) but only when "she" will  become "his" wife" and will be able to see how thing are in America with brothers and sisters.

But firstly ( when "she" is still here in Russia and is in"thoughts" about qualities of former husband) "she" will see that situation with Russian eyes. And her  reaction on his talks about "what a good brother he is for his little sisters" may "surprise" him. So it's better to  listen to what I'm babbling about

 

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