Breaking up with my Ukrainian GF

[2tallbill]

I hate to say this but through experience, Ukrainians are the worst. The genuine and decent ones don't have the physical attributes that would keep me excited. I'm not all about the outer beauty but she has to be decent.

It is difficult to meet a genuine person. It's not her it's me. I'm the one who wants to end things.

If you want to end things then your communication ability could get you
a disabled parking sticker. You clearly can't explain what's going on or why.

[Trenchcoat]

Which incel forum do you lurk/participate in?

The one for NBA wannabes & outcasts who couldn't quite hack it

[Daveman]

Think of all the wonderful, sincere women you've dated in your life, how few of those actually wound up being compatible with you, how many lasted for a third date much less a year or more, etc, and for whatever reason the situation just evaporates.  Sh*t happens. Sometimes it's worth analyzing sometimes it isn't.  Take what you learned and move on.

I would think there's a something on her mind at the moment being in occupied territory and all.  Fear, especially of oneself or one's family being blown to smithereens, can sometimes, every once in a great while, wreak a little havoc on a woman's ability to properly maintain a relationship. Even if she shows up regularly and on time, she's not going to be all there.

The limerence faded. It happens all the time.

[ML]

. . .
The limerence faded.  . . .

Wow, a Shakespearean in our midst.  I am impressed Daveman!!

[Trenchcoat]

But here’s the thang, cuz you jumped the gun on sendin her money, she ain’t stoopid an gonna go and tell ya she done changed her mind about ya or some other issue, cuz of de money holmes
that's big money in her hood holmes, ain't nobody from that hood, gonna turn off the spigot, so she remains ambiguous, as long as you keep payin
cuz yo needs to to keep yo dream alive

My guess is that CG needed to do something to lock her in and chose to early on. As I hear it, it's either a proposal or financial support, sometimes both. Otherwise I get the impression few pretty girls will agree to date and meet up every once in a while but take themselves of the market for other guys.

I know a few guys on here visited a girl several times before making any sort of commitment but I'm going to guess they were probably not that much in demand in their local area so were content to wait it out.

The pretty girls though I get the impression they either want commitment or they move on. Even if that's just money then that's a good enough offset for them for the wait assuming she isn't carrying on with another guy in the side of course.

[krimster2]

Back in the day, I used to work as a consulting engineer
there’s big money available, if you know how to fix corporate engineering problems
usually I ended up telling people “what not to do” as opposed to telling them “what to do”

the girl must be “oichen cressiva” to keep the OP dangling like this, but still this problem can be solved by applying the proper trouble shooting methodology….

The problem is two sided, first there is the OP, he tolerates the situation, and seems afraid to “rock the boat” lest his too good to be true phantasy evaporates as a result of his own actions, as a result it persists

this shows a lack of “leadership” on his part…
cuz if you to fail to lead, and behave passively, then you gonna be screwed by an FSU woman
and NOT in the “good way”

so take the fookin lead, dewd,
assume some responsibility for her and her family, say hey, whatever the problem holding you back, let me see if I can help fix it, such as helping her family move, etc, pay ‘em some living money, etc.

parents of FSU wimmin can be a real “fly in the garlic dip of life”, get used to that…
cost of doin business there
next time stick to orphans

but, you need to set a deadline, tell her you thought “she was the one”, but if things are frozen
then clearly she isn’t and you BOTH should move on, and wish her luck in finding someone who will give her whatever it is that she thinks you can’t

but you’ll have to dig, to find this out, they ain’t all that great at communicating
you kinda have to figure it out on your own as to the nature of the obstacle in your relationship
and come up with a solution on your own, or it’s game over, time for you both to move on

horrosho, understand?
who do I send my invoice to in accounts payable?

[cameraguymn]

So the story continues.....

She has escaped in a small bus to Poland from occupied territory with a group of Ukrainians. I am still amazed that they were able to accomplish this journey safely as they have tried it before and some of their caravan vehicles were shot at so the remaining cars returned home.

Well it is off to meet and see her and see if there are any sparks left in two weeks. Of course I am happy she is out of harm's way and safe but I have mixed feelings. Now it has to get real - either way.

[krimster2]

i’ve stayed at the sheraton in warsaw, it’s close to everything and inexpensive…
there’s a train station and airport nearby, it’d be better for her to come to warsaw than for you to try and find lodging in an east poland refugee camp zone, you should be able to send her money without difficulty for travel

shopping in warsaw sucks, except for pretty basic stuff, save your money and don’t buy there

you should familiarize yourself with the new law that lets Ukrainians displaced by the special military operation to get a 1 year visa to the USA, since that’d be a REALLY fast way to get her to the USA
also research how this’ll impact her future k-1 visa
don’t forget to ask about her family, etc…

good luck

[2tallbill]

The one for NBA wannabes & outcasts who couldn't quite hack it

For men, about three out of 10,000 male high school basketball players will be
drafted into the NBA, or about .03 percent_1.. 99.97% can't hack it.

Stop Whining About Hypergamy (& Do This Instead)
http://thepowermoves.com/hypergamy/

1. http://www.sportsrec.com/6654203/what-percentage-of-high-school-players-make-it-to-the-nba

[Daveman]

..
 but I have mixed feelings. Now it has to get real - either way.

The following is magical with a woman who, for lack of a better way to say it, is attracted to you at at least a 7 or above. That's the hard line minimum for her attraction to you - eight, nine or ten is obviously even better. IF she isn't -- don't waste your time and money. It will not work out long term. Guaranteed. Forget how attracted you are to her -- that's actually irrelevant in this because you wouldn't be where you are if you weren't attracted to her, but she may be - keeping you as a backup plan, feeding off your validation, etc. IF this girl isn't at a seven or more  walk away immediately and don't bother with the trip. You know how attracted she is to you.

Get any "motive" completely out of your mind.  Get the idea of a "test for the relationship" or whatever off the table. krimster is correct - you gotta take the lead -- but not focused on marriage or anything about the relationship. You create a fun adventure with her and pursue the things men go after.  You lead the adventure. That's it. The two of you are still dating. Dating is playful; dating is intimate; dating is FUN.  Let her bring up all talks about "where we stand", "what's in our future" and all that relationy stuff. She'll bring it up in sideways fashion, like a crab, perhaps not being overtly forward though she may also be direct as well. A woman pursuing relationship conversations with you is a million miles from rejecting you. If after a several days of dating FUN she isn't bringing up those topics -- she's really not into you. 

If you are bringing up these topics, there is a huge probability that you are deluding yourself about her real interest in you.

[Daveman]

Wow, a Shakespearean in our midst.  I am impressed Daveman!!

Every once in a while I have to pull out the thesaurus to keep you guys guessing 

[krimster2]

You’re  gonna have to learn how to restructure your thinkin and behavior when you’re with a Ukrainian woman

2 points

they all have some amount of PTSD, so seriously avoid ANY kind of negativity or stress when interacting with her, don’t worry about the cost of this or that, don’t get angry if she does something dumb, etc…

be supportive and caring, they LOVE that!!!  they eat that tenderness up like they were starving for it...

Warsaw doesn’t really offer much, the place was flattened by the Nazis and rebuilt, it has all the charm of Cleveland, etc

not really a whole lot for you to see or do there

you need to research gourmet level restaurants and even though the shopping there kinda sucks compared to the USA, you need to let her have the experience of blowing a year's worth  of Ukrainian salary  on clothes, etc, while you’re with her, an experience she NEVER had in her life
Wimmin dig that more than just about ANYTHING!!!!

Warsaw has a  couple of choices:
Fashion House Shopping Center
Blue City
arcadia
and more, Google is your friend

you of course, will be totally bored, so just make a game out of it, and just observe her and the local environment which has it’s own stimulation for you

you want to provide an alternate reality to the one she just came from, and to assure her of the fact, that you will be a kind, generous soul, and not your typical selfish kopec-pinching Russian man, who only cares about his own pleasure

so get the best lookin hotel you can

I don’t know your level of Russian and her level of English, but if you do hit it off, it won’t really be a problem, you somehow manage to get your thoughts across

don’t do sex right away, I always wait 3 days, and then incrementally initiate physical contact, no woman has ever turned me down or felt uncomfortable this way
and the first time you see her naked will stay with you the rest of your life
so, cherish this moment

[cameraguymn]

3 days is too much discipline for me. It's been 6 months. I'm going to be reckless and irresponsible.

I was just in Warsaw last month so I know where the nice places are. I'm sure we'll have a good time together.

[Trenchcoat]

don’t do sex right away, I always wait 3 days, and then incrementally initiate physical contact, no woman has ever turned me down or felt uncomfortable this way
and the first time you see her naked will stay with you the rest of your life
so, cherish this moment

What if she wants to do it right away? Saying no would screw things up right?

[Trenchcoat]

So the story continues.....

She has escaped in a small bus to Poland from occupied territory with a group of Ukrainians. I am still amazed that they were able to accomplish this journey safely as they have tried it before and some of their caravan vehicles were shot at so the remaining cars returned home.

Well it is off to meet and see her and see if there are any sparks left in two weeks. Of course I am happy she is out of harm's way and safe but I have mixed feelings. Now it has to get real - either way.

That must have been horrendously risky for her and uncommon. The scenes outside Kyiv tell us that the Orcs don't care if they kill civilians. Even going towards their own troops they would have to hope they don't mistake them for the enemy and open fire. She must have been pretty desperate to get out. No offense but surely it wasn't just to get to see you?

Didn't she also have a baby/child? Did she take her child with her?

I don't blame her for getting out, if it's Kherson things are very likely to be pretty bad this winter. The bridges are blown and apparently the city is already around starvation level there. I fear it could become a situation unfortunately similar to Mariupol, at least in famine level conditions. By leaving she could have saved herself from that fate at least.

[Trenchcoat]

For men, about three out of 10,000 male high school basketball players will be
drafted into the NBA, or about .03 percent_1.. 99.97% can't hack it.

Stop Whining About Hypergamy (& Do This Instead)
http://thepowermoves.com/hypergamy/

1. http://www.sportsrec.com/6654203/what-percentage-of-high-school-players-make-it-to-the-nba

That's high school stats, you got to college level Bill, what are the stats for college level players making it to the NBA? 

Anyway I get your point so I'll let you off

Why not try a career in politics instead? You seem into politics stuff like many US guys in this forum and have been likened to Bill Clinton looks wise I reckon you could be in with a shot at it.


The weblink on Hypergamy is an interesting one, I've done a new thread on it here so as to avoid derailing CG's thread too much:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=25632.msg567000#new

[krimster2]

Trench, I'm gonna assume you never played basketball against a 7 foot tall black man, who all he did was constantly play the game after about age 6
they're on a whole different level, compared to white boys like Beel....
as Chuck Darwin said, "organisms tend to speciate"

the only way Beel could have a hope for playing b-ball would be to go transgender and play for the WNBA
however, Beel's religion forbids this practice and he follows Christain Sharia law, like his mama taught him
hence, he works in finance

my college sport was boxing, we didn't know about the connection to b-b-brain injurries then
my only strength was being able to take a punch, but I didn't have a heavy enough punch to take down big black heavyweights
I only did it, to get rid of my aggression/anger and the neurotransmitter rush it gave me
rugby would have been a batter sport for me, I only played it in summers in Herofordshire in my teens, I was a good runner
I really liked hitting and pushing people, good times...

[Trenchcoat]

Ah good point Krim, you are duly let off Beel

Yeah black dudes have a denser bone structure than us white guys hence why they are so good at Boxing. Though Antony Joshua lost against the Ukrainian Ursk in a bout recently. Didn't watch it so not sure if he let him win due to feeling bad about what's happening in Ukraine. Klitschko of course and his brother did well at boxing and a few white UK guys have been good at it so guessing it doesn't always hold that the black guy wins out.

[Grumpy]

 Try dating like an economist?
Forget sunk costs, they already sank deeper than the Moskova.

If you think like an economist, you tell yourself: “The rest of my life begins now. What happened in the past is irrelevant.”

http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-0903-nisbett-sunk-cost-20150903-story.html

[Daveman]

What if she wants to do it right away? Saying no would screw things up right?

HAHAHA this reminds me of a condom post I made back in 2007. it caused such an uproarious uproar that it had to be deleted.

They've already met three times.  It's not like they haven't been there done that. 

If she really likes him she'll make it easy for him to succeed and hard, pun obviously intended, for him to fail. So, no.. it wouldn't screw things up.  If she doesn't she'll be somewhat irritated at almost anything anyway so may as well spank her butt and dangle her from the balcony until she agrees to act right.

[cameraguymn]

The locals feared the area where they lived would become a hell hole and they would be in between two armies fighting each other sometime this week. In the past few weeks, she'd send me video of rockets in the background from the time to time in her area.

I'm pretty conservative so I thought they should have stayed put in the basement of their building and play the odds. But I'm not there and I don't hear all the rockets and I don't hear the local chatter. But I'm relieved they made it out safe. Honestly, the past few months as she tells me of going out to get supplies and being stopped by soldiers I worried about her being assaulted or being targeted because she is a pretty woman.

That must have been horrendously risky for her and uncommon. The scenes outside Kyiv tell us that the Orcs don't care if they kill civilians. Even going towards their own troops they would have to hope they don't mistake them for the enemy and open fire. She must have been pretty desperate to get out. No offense but surely it wasn't just to get to see you?

Didn't she also have a baby/child? Did she take her child with her?

I don't blame her for getting out, if it's Kherson things are very likely to be pretty bad this winter. The bridges are blown and apparently the city is already around starvation level there. I fear it could become a situation unfortunately similar to Mariupol, at least in famine level conditions. By leaving she could have saved herself from that fate at least.

[krimster2]

I overlooked the details of previous meetings, so yeah, 1st night then...
Ukrainan wimmin are clean freaks, so put a towel under her on the bed
just tryin to help...

[cameraguymn]

She's there with her daughter. Technically we're still together so I'm not going to be shy or coy. Of course I'm not going to say no. With covid, monkey pox, possible WWIII - why the hell wouldn't you do it? We're not getting any younger. 

A better man would say no let's have a real talk. That version of me grew up. The Brazilian exchange student. The hot sophomore brunette. No such thing as I respect you too much to screw you right now. We can always talk later.

What if she wants to do it right away? Saying no would screw things up right?

[Daveman]

I overlooked the details of previous meetings, so yeah, 1st night then...
Ukrainan wimmin are clean freaks, so put a towel under her on the bed
just tryin to help...

I definitely get the three date rule. I follow that as well.