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Author Topic: Hello RWD!  (Read 29322 times)

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Offline BillyB

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #50 on: December 26, 2017, 11:08:06 PM »
be a guy that knows how to be a good husband ...



A good husband knows how to communicate with his wife and take care of her needs. A guy can't be a good husband if he doesn't know how to communicate or read his girl. He can get experience by dating a lot.

A bad boy who knows how to socialize with women will catch more women than a good guy who has little to no social skills every time. Nice guys don't finish last because they're nice guys. They finish last because they lack the skills they need to finish first.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #51 on: December 26, 2017, 11:55:55 PM »

Where did you get your information from? Sex tourists on sex forums? The last thing a single woman with a child needs is another child from a man who's going to disappear on her and the child because life becomes even more difficult. I'd say single wometn with a child goes into this with eyes wide open more often than legs wide open.

I think it's safe to assume she'll be using protection Billy ;)
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Offline civi68

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #52 on: December 30, 2017, 05:19:20 AM »
Lord of the Dance is correct that Pa is not always the best place. Pittsburgh and Philadelphia are about the only places with good economies. The rest are on life support with prisons and the medical field providing good jobs. Not many women move to areas of PA and many leave. Even in my 20's, any social gatherings had 3 guys for every woman. Even good looking women with 2-3 kids received a lot of attention. As one of my friends once said, "I am tired of getting shot down by women on welfare!"
Lord of the Dance, you got some good advice. Take your time, don't do a fiancee visa after the first trip. If you find a good one, make 2-3 trips to see her before making any commitment. And, of course, the big one, don't send them a lot of money! If anything doesn't seem right with a woman, don't excuse it based upon cultural differences or the language barrier. Believe me, you will know if a woman is interested and she won't play games.
  Also, take your time to study the language. It will take you farther than anything. The best book I found is, "The New Penguin Russian course."

Offline msmob

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #53 on: December 30, 2017, 10:06:44 AM »

A good husband knows how to communicate with his wife and take care of her needs. A guy can't be a good husband if he doesn't know how to communicate or read his girl. He can get experience by dating a lot.

A bad boy who knows how to socialize with women will catch more women than a good guy who has little to no social skills every time. Nice guys don't finish last because they're nice guys. They finish last because they lack the skills they need to finish first.

Once more, you confuse 'quiet folk' with being poor interlocutors ... :D

Offline BillyB

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #54 on: December 30, 2017, 12:45:04 PM »
Once more, you confuse 'quiet folk' with being poor interlocutors ... :D


When I said a man should have good social skills, you automatically assume I meant the man has to be talking 24/7. Good social skills means the person knows when to talk, knows how to get the other persons to talk and when to listen(be quiet). If a guy is always quiet like some of your friends are, then they will fail with women more often than not. It's not complicated Moby.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline alex330

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #55 on: December 30, 2017, 12:57:35 PM »
Hmmmm, I always thought women liked the quiet mysterious types? Actions not words.

Offline BillyB

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #56 on: December 30, 2017, 01:25:11 PM »
Hmmmm, I always thought women liked the quiet mysterious types? Actions not words.


Imagine a woman on a date with a man who barely talks. There's no action and no mystery. He's quiet and she isn't going to get turned on. A man with good social skills doesn't run his mouth constantly and tell his whole life story on the first date. He gets the woman to talk instead of disclosing his whole life story in a few hours. Later she's going to ask him questions because he didn't talk much about himself. She'll want to solve the mystery but she isn't going to want to solve a mystery if the man isn't interesting to begin with.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline msmob

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #57 on: December 30, 2017, 02:43:44 PM »

Imagine a woman on a date with a man who barely talks. There's no action and no mystery. He's quiet and she isn't going to get turned on. A man with good social skills doesn't run his mouth constantly and tell his whole life story on the first date. He gets the woman to talk instead of disclosing his whole life story in a few hours. Later she's going to ask him questions because he didn't talk much about himself. She'll want to solve the mystery but she isn't going to want to solve a mystery if the man isn't interesting to begin with.

BillyB, you are STILL making the huge mistake of thinking those of us blessed with the gift of the gob can succeed in this endeavour.

As has been pointed out ... actions speak louder than words ...

NB I count success as a long-term relationship where the respective partners ( or one of them) don't take the attitude that a 'good partner' is like a regular bus on a busy route .. that another will come along, soon ...... 



 

Offline Turboguy

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #58 on: December 30, 2017, 03:10:01 PM »

When I said a man should have good social skills, you automatically assume I meant the man has to be talking 24/7. Good social skills means the person knows when to talk, knows how to get the other persons to talk and when to listen(be quiet). If a guy is always quiet like some of your friends are, then they will fail with women more often than not. It's not complicated Moby.


Some of the women I have met talk enough that you can't get a word in edgewise.  With them if you don't fall asleep and look like you are paying attention and interested you are golden.

Offline BillyB

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #59 on: December 30, 2017, 03:20:30 PM »
As has been pointed out ... actions speak louder than words ...



Moby if you don't know what social skills are, read the link below. It sums that up. Body language and appearance are part of the action necessary to having good social skills. Going around telling people being quiet is just as good as me recommending people to improve their social skills is bad advice. Recommending people to improve their social skills is a good thing and will increase their chances of success. It's not rocket science.

http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/social-skills.html


Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Lord of the Dance

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #60 on: December 30, 2017, 05:53:44 PM »
So as Billy said . . . spend as much time as you can with and around women.  Get comfortable with them and make them comfortable with you, even when you are not on dates.

I agree, good idea. I don't seem to have a problem around women (from my own perspective) but I must admit that it would sometimes appear women have a problem around me (they often try to avoid me when I approach to initiate conversation). My mother has told me she believes I come across rather intimidating, but I disagree. I'm not particularly tall or handsome, I don't have a sophisticated college education or a prestigious job and I try not to dominate the conversation. Perhaps I'm a bit too self-confident, but I really doubt I could be coming across as intimidating. I think it must be my appearance (short stature, my attire, etc.). Lots to work on!     
"My soul cries out with a joyful shout that the God of my heart is great, and my spirit sings of the wondrous things that you bring to the ones who wait." - Canticle of the Turning

Offline Lord of the Dance

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #61 on: December 30, 2017, 06:05:49 PM »
Yep I'm the same one as on RUA though I tend to spend most of my time here as its more dedicated to dating in the FSU. More topics on FSU dating I think are covered here though I find RUA a bit more down to earth which can be a nice change.

I like yourself would like my own family, you kind of realise as you get older that your old folks aren't going to be around forever more which is depressing in itself. I've got some close family but it would still essentially be me by myself and maybe a dog. Most of the women around my way and I guess yours know that they can take their pick of the guys, you don't have to be that much off the pace to miss out. That and some girls are just gold diggers so you really need to watch out. Fortunately the situation in the FSU is completely different, there are loads of girls to date and its easy hunting out there. I tend to prefer women without children too simply because I do not want the immediate commitment of someone else's child and all the added complexities it brings, this search normally throws up enough problems without adding more. That said a woman with a child will normally greet a WM warmly with legs wide open. They will unlikely get any other guy visit them so they can't afford to be fussy. Local guys see them as only fit for a good lay anyway so if a WM who can support a family turns up and may marry them they tend to play all in. In all honesty some women with children can be pretty fit. I've seen a few 10's on Mamba compared with 7 or 8's for without children, I think this is because all the local guys hit on them first as top priority so they get pregnant then of course the number of local guys interested in them plummet as none of them want to get saddled paying for someone else's kid.

Anyhue, I would get going if I were you on some of the free dating FSU sites and just try and learn about FSW to start with, no need to go out there immediately just learn about all the sorts of characters you get turn up, good & bad, ins & outs, I think doing so will save you much time later.

Nice to see you here on RWD too.

Yes, the constant flow of time is frightening to me as well. It's peculiar that I don't much fear my own death but I'm quite disconcerted with the prospect of my parents passing away on me. I have extended family members as well as a few friends, but nobody as close as my parents. Though I understand the need for patience and restraint, I'm definitely excited to get on with a family of my own.
"My soul cries out with a joyful shout that the God of my heart is great, and my spirit sings of the wondrous things that you bring to the ones who wait." - Canticle of the Turning

Offline Lord of the Dance

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #62 on: December 30, 2017, 06:25:09 PM »
How can someone be adventurous enough to try new things and yet remain traditional?  :-\  You have me confused

My apologies for the confusion, I'll expound on my thoughts...

In this regard, I'm using the term 'adventurous' to describe physical activities like sport diving, ballooning, sailing, hiking and traveling. It is my opinion that such activities are enjoyed by more women in the FSU than women from many other countries around the world. Not sure why this is (or even if it's entirely true), but as an example, I've already met several female balloonist friends on Facebook, and the majority of them are from Russia or Ukraine! Many young people today (both male and female) are risk-averse and more interested in electronics than adventures.

When I use the term 'traditional,' I'm referring to the affirmation of conventional family values and a moderate sentimental connection to the past. As an example, a person who cares about her familial / religious heritage and doesn't feel the need to abandon the past to live in the present.   
"My soul cries out with a joyful shout that the God of my heart is great, and my spirit sings of the wondrous things that you bring to the ones who wait." - Canticle of the Turning

Offline Lord of the Dance

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #63 on: December 30, 2017, 06:30:56 PM »

It takes an adventurous person to move to a new country to start. Travel, new experiences, open to different cultures, etc are all things I find many FSUW are generally more open to. Yet they cling to certain traditional values. Family is one. Not into drugs like as many women in the West. "Home cooked meals are better for you". At least this is what I have found in my wife. The best from both Worlds.

My notions concur, though I recognize the possibility that I'm wrong. 
"My soul cries out with a joyful shout that the God of my heart is great, and my spirit sings of the wondrous things that you bring to the ones who wait." - Canticle of the Turning

Offline Lord of the Dance

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #64 on: December 30, 2017, 06:38:49 PM »
I think more often than not, 'looking for better life' is reason I hear most, especially with kids in tow.

Who knows what will happen when an FSUW is exposed to western culture and life. I think the true person comes out. Some have trouble adapting while others are like fish in water, I have seen more of the latter. The 'russian' women I have met here(LA) are exactly like any women you will meet here, loving the good life!!

Adaptability is one sure sign of an intrepid personality. If a woman is more concerned about breaking a nail than breaking a leg, it ain't gonna work out (with me personally... obviously everyone's looking for someone different).
"My soul cries out with a joyful shout that the God of my heart is great, and my spirit sings of the wondrous things that you bring to the ones who wait." - Canticle of the Turning

Offline Lord of the Dance

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #65 on: December 30, 2017, 06:50:14 PM »

Depends on the woman and set of circumstances I imagine. But most of the women we know did not have children, were good looking younger women, and had many options. They were looking for a partner, not a better life.


We know a few that were escaping something, those women seem to have had a harder time.

I'm determined to do some traveling prior to involving myself with the online dating scene. A main reason for employing this strategy is to vet prospective cities for livability prior to engaging in any relationships within those cities. If I would find a particular location to be undesirable upon visitation, I'll abstain from contacting prospective mates in said region.

I too am looking for a life partner, not an indigent.   
"My soul cries out with a joyful shout that the God of my heart is great, and my spirit sings of the wondrous things that you bring to the ones who wait." - Canticle of the Turning

Offline Lord of the Dance

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #66 on: December 30, 2017, 07:07:01 PM »
Welcome, Lord of the Dance and thanks for the Seasonal Greetings

Please do NOT take any tips from Trenchcoat seriously - as most of his 'adviSe' sucks.

Can't agree with the advice from some that suggests you need to be a good dater of women to find a FSU wife, either.....   FAR more important

You need to address the question:

Why am I seeking a FSU woman ?

and be a guy that knows how to be a good husband ...

Thanks for the welcome here on RWD msmob.

Glad to hear the opinion that dating experience isn't everything (because that is more-than-less the direction I'm coming from). I do have some experience with the ladies but it's limited. My standards are definitely higher than most others my age and perhaps some of my own qualifications aren't to par, I don't know...  :-\

I think a willingness to (slightly) lower my standards as well as an ernest effort to better those of my qualities that lag behind will assist in 'balancing out the scale.'

As for being a good husband, I've got an excellent role model in my father (my parents have been happily married for better than 25 years).
"My soul cries out with a joyful shout that the God of my heart is great, and my spirit sings of the wondrous things that you bring to the ones who wait." - Canticle of the Turning

Offline Lord of the Dance

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #67 on: December 30, 2017, 07:17:46 PM »

A good husband knows how to communicate with his wife and take care of her needs. A guy can't be a good husband if he doesn't know how to communicate or read his girl. He can get experience by dating a lot.

A bad boy who knows how to socialize with women will catch more women than a good guy who has little to no social skills every time. Nice guys don't finish last because they're nice guys. They finish last because they lack the skills they need to finish first.

I've been under the assumption that this is a fairly universal principle in dating situations the world over. Passiveness and aggressiveness must be shelved for the proper degree of assertiveness (sounds easier said than done, too!).
"My soul cries out with a joyful shout that the God of my heart is great, and my spirit sings of the wondrous things that you bring to the ones who wait." - Canticle of the Turning

Offline Lord of the Dance

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #68 on: December 30, 2017, 07:24:49 PM »
Lord of the Dance is correct that Pa is not always the best place. Pittsburgh and Philadelphia are about the only places with good economies. The rest are on life support with prisons and the medical field providing good jobs. Not many women move to areas of PA and many leave. Even in my 20's, any social gatherings had 3 guys for every woman. Even good looking women with 2-3 kids received a lot of attention. As one of my friends once said, "I am tired of getting shot down by women on welfare!"
Lord of the Dance, you got some good advice. Take your time, don't do a fiancee visa after the first trip. If you find a good one, make 2-3 trips to see her before making any commitment. And, of course, the big one, don't send them a lot of money! If anything doesn't seem right with a woman, don't excuse it based upon cultural differences or the language barrier. Believe me, you will know if a woman is interested and she won't play games.
  Also, take your time to study the language. It will take you farther than anything. The best book I found is, "The New Penguin Russian course."

Thanks for the words of caution and encouragement, as well as the suggestions civi68. I haven't yet run across 'The New Penguin Russian Course' but I'll be on the lookout for it now. I believe you speak wise words when you suggest taking time to learn the language. Man though, the Slavic languages present quite the weekend puzzler, don't they?  :)
"My soul cries out with a joyful shout that the God of my heart is great, and my spirit sings of the wondrous things that you bring to the ones who wait." - Canticle of the Turning

Offline Lord of the Dance

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #69 on: December 30, 2017, 07:30:20 PM »

Some of the women I have met talk enough that you can't get a word in edgewise.  With them if you don't fall asleep and look like you are paying attention and interested you are golden.

If the conversation is held in the Russian / Ukrainian languages, I'll be happy to let the girl do most of the talking.  ;D
"My soul cries out with a joyful shout that the God of my heart is great, and my spirit sings of the wondrous things that you bring to the ones who wait." - Canticle of the Turning

Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #70 on: December 30, 2017, 07:48:41 PM »
I'm determined to do some traveling prior to involving myself with the online dating scene. A main reason for employing this strategy is to vet prospective cities for livability prior to engaging in any relationships within those cities. If I would find a particular location to be undesirable upon visitation, I'll abstain from contacting prospective mates in said region.

It appears that you want to get away from where you live, which is understandable given the comments above.  However, when you talk about "prospective cities," are you referring to (for example) Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, New York and others reasonably close to where you are now, or the whole of the USA, or the whole world (even the whole English-speaking world)?

...I haven't yet run across 'The New Penguin Russian Course' but I'll be on the lookout for it now. I believe you speak wise words when you suggest taking time to learn the language. Man though, the Slavic languages present quite the weekend puzzler, don't they?  :)

Which is a very good reason for NOT learning Russian as a complete language - it would take years to become fluent, and you still won't pick up elements of humour or other "native speaker only" elements which you simply don't recognise as such in English.  Added to which, of course, is that there's no guarantee that you would end up with a Russian-speaking girlfriend/partner/wife anyway.  :D  And, even if you did, she will have learnt English at school - how much she remembers is another matter, but there are MANY FSU women on dating websites whose English level is listed as "Fluent" or "Very Good."  If you restrict yourself to searching amongst this group you will, of course, be eliminating many others who might include the best choice for you - but everyone in this venture appears to agree that communication is the absolute number one priority for making a relationship work.  The better your prospective wife's English, the better your chances.  Of course there are many exceptions (Chicagoguy on here is one obvious example).

If you intend to visit Ukraine or Russia, you most certainly need to learn the Cyrillic alphabet.  Get a good phrasebook (Lonely Planet's is superb), study it before you go (you don't have to learn everything off by heart, though!), and don't be afraid to refer to it when you're on the ground.  Of course, the advances in apps these days mean that you can probably get by with just your smartphone, but it doesn't hurt to have a written backup in case your phone dies unexpectedly (or your beloved lives in the middle of the Siberian tundra with no cellphone coverage  :o).

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck.  :thumbsup:

Offline alex330

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #71 on: December 30, 2017, 08:33:57 PM »
In this regard, I'm using the term 'adventurous' to describe physical activities like sport diving, ballooning, sailing, hiking and traveling. It is my opinion that such activities are enjoyed by more women in the FSU than women from many other countries around the world. Not sure why this is (or even if it's entirely true), but as an example, I've already met several female balloonist friends on Facebook, and the majority of them are from Russia or Ukraine! Many young people today (both male and female) are risk-averse and more interested in electronics than adventures.

When I use the term 'traditional,' I'm referring to the affirmation of conventional family values and a moderate sentimental connection to the past. As an example, a person who cares about her familial / religious heritage and doesn't feel the need to abandon the past to live in the present.   


You would be correct as a generalization. This is how my wife and most of the FSUW we know are. They want to live life to it's fullest and love adventure. If you are into these types of activities I believe it also gives you a huge advantage over other men searching.

Offline ML

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #72 on: December 30, 2017, 10:30:04 PM »
I agree, good idea. I don't seem to have a problem around women (from my own perspective) but I must admit that it would sometimes appear women have a problem around me (they often try to avoid me when I approach to initiate conversation).

OK, then you need to work on becoming a more interesting person.
Your education level might be part of the problem.
Fact is the less education a person has, the more they like to talk about things they know little about and it becomes painful for those around him/her (that know better) to listen to.
One tact might be to really, really, really become expert on something of interest to women.
Another tact is to ask questions of the ladies quite a bit.
Not like where are you from, etc., but what they think of some current events.
True women admire physical attractiveness in men, but they admire more intellectual attractiveness.
I have two brothers who are much better looking than myself, but they became wary of bringing gals to the family home . . . because once the gals started talking with me, they were hooked.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline msmob

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #73 on: December 30, 2017, 10:57:19 PM »

Moby if you don't know what social skills are, read the link below. It sums that up. Body language and appearance are part of the action necessary to having good social skills. Going around telling people being quiet is just as good as me recommending people to improve their social skills is bad advice. Recommending people to improve their social skills is a good thing and will increase their chances of success. It's not rocket science.

http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/social-skills.html

BillyB, I believe I might have led the horse to water but it didn't want to drink...

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Hello RWD!
« Reply #74 on: December 31, 2017, 06:21:05 AM »
Thanks for the words of caution and encouragement, as well as the suggestions civi68. I haven't yet run across 'The New Penguin Russian Course' but I'll be on the lookout for it now. I believe you speak wise words when you suggest taking time to learn the language. Man though, the Slavic languages present quite the weekend puzzler, don't they?  :)

I have a copy of 'The New Penguin Russian Course' it under a pile of stuff on my desk. Never really hado the time to look at it much. To be honest despite good reviews on Amazon it really does seem more of a course text book, something you use alongside or after a formal claas room course with a tutor. No doubt it can be useful if you want/can get down to several hours of hard study a day. I don't think it really for an absolute beginner though as I think you need some basic grounding in Russian for it to be useful. The most useful learning tool I have used to learn Russian is the computer programe 'Before You Know It' - BYKI. It's free to download & use (I just use the free version ;) ) You'll only be able to learn a few basic words & become familiar with a few Russian words but I think it's your best bet if you are due to visit in the near future and can't fit in a whole course. I've also used Rosetta Stone but it costs and again to be honest I don't think it's as good for someone without a real world classroom course - it's learning curve is a bit steep. I can also recommend a copy of the lonely planet phrase book as a back up, even a learning reference. I've never used it on the street but I can see how it would be handy to have as a back up. There pocket size travel guides are also handy.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

 

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