When is it OK to ask a RW to change her religion for you

[Misha]

It does bring up an interesting issue. How a woman treated men in the past and what they expected out of past relationships is usually a good indicator of how she will treat you in the future.

[catzenmouse]

It does bring up an interesting issue. How a woman treated men in the past and what they expected out of past relationships is usually a good indicator of how she will treat you in the future.

While there are definitely some truths to this I believe that if we are reasonable in our assessments of our past behaviors during relationships we will find many things we have done wrong and will do our best to eliminate those issues from our future relationships.

When I was married the first time (while I was young and dumb as opposed to my being old and dumb now) I did a lot of things that were not in the best interest of the marriage or of being in a relationship in general. I still do plenty of things wrong and am reminded of this fact. Difference is that now I am not so stuck into my being right or stuck on my pride that I do not try to see what I am doing and correct it when applicable.

FWIW

[Blues Fairy]

actually their problem has nothing to do with religion

Oh no!!  She did not support the theory of the Global Warming?!  

[Misha]

While there are definitely some truths to this I believe that if we are reasonable in our assessments of our past behaviors during relationships we will find many things we have done wrong and will do our best to eliminate those issues from our future relationships.

There is past behavior and then there is how you have treated people in the past. Perhaps I am a bit more cynical about human behavior, but I would say that people rarely change their core personality. If they show a pattern of mistreating people in the past, I would say they will usually continue in the future barring some major event or epiphany. We all do stupid things and wise up a bit as we mature, but in many ways I still treat people and life pretty much the same as I did when I was 18.

[catzenmouse]

There is past behavior and then there is how you have treated people in the past. Perhaps I am a bit more cynical about human behavior, but I would say that people rarely change their core personality. If they show a pattern of mistreating people in the past, I would say they will usually continue in the future barring some major event or epiphany. We all do stupid things and wise up a bit as we mature, but in many ways I still treat people and life pretty much the same as I did when I was 18.

Thanks for clarifying your thoughts. With this international situation it would be very difficult to actually  find out how someone treated others in the past. Most of what we have to go on are observations how how they treat people in general and the conversations about the past. Another key point to those in the search phase about taking the time to get to know each other.

[Misha]

Another key point to those in the search phase about taking the time to get to know each other.

Exactly! I made sure to pry into every detail of my wife's life past and present to figure out what made her tick. You can't do this in a week or two.

[joe rockhead]

Oh no!!  She did not support the theory of the Global Warming?!  

That would probably be okay, but it really would depend on how hot she is.

[Icarus]

Im in a similar situation to this; Im not Catholic though, and I would never ask any woman to chage her religion to mine.

In my profile I state as close as possible my religion; Christian. In any correspondance with women if there is a connection then I ask her feelings about religion, hers, and mine. And I always state my beliefs and practices, and if she has questions of course I answer them.

HOWEVER, Im at the point where its more beneficial to simply travel to the FSU, attend the local congregation of those with a similar religious upbringing to mine, and from that point, a lot of issues can be by passed.

Otherwise, too much time is wasted on meaningless, go-nowhere letter writing. IF meeting the woman in person, at a church you both attend, then good luck to you. You only need to see if she is in fact looking for a foreign husband. A bonus being, that meeting her in church gives you a valuable insight into her life; how she reacts with those there, and then with those outside etc.

Anyway, my 2 cents are, state it early on, if you want a catholic wife, go to a catholic church.

Good luck
Ick

[Ronnie]

the film is in the theaters now.. I highly recommend.  To read my review, you can visit my new blog at
http://commentsfromthecoast.wordpress.com/expelled-no-intelligence-allowed/

[mendeleyev]

Enjoyed reading thru your blog, Ronnie!