Weight 2: Emotional, Romance

[Mars]

Please make your comments in the appropriate Weight thread 1, 2, 3.

It is well understood by most adults that men and women have different desires and requirements for their mates.  Many of these desires are ingrained from thousands of years back, whether realized or acknowledged.

In simplest terms, as I understand it:

Men are drawn to women who seem to project fertility.  This translates in reality to youth and beauty.  Most (but not all) men in modern, advanced societies in 21st century equate slender women with beauty.

Women are drawn to men whom they think can provide protection from harm, and provide necessities of shelter and food for the woman and the  children produced.  In modern times this has been extended to cover education and other needs.

These desires in the mates exist even where no children are contemplated.

I don’t know if men and women argued about the qualities desired by the opposite gender in ancient times; but there seems to be some antagonism about these qualities amongst moderns.

For instance, many women feel they are more evolved than men since they do not place as much emphasis on ‘looks’ as men do.  Many women pride themselves that they think beyond mere physical attributes and measure ‘inner’ qualities.  Of course this is very convenient for them since they do not have the beauty aspect ingrained for thousands of years as the men do.

However, many women (and particularly FSU women it seems) have not given up the idea that the man should be the principal provider.  And now it is stated in more direct financial terms; financial stability, generous, etc.

So it seems we have some asymmetry here where women still are allowed to stick with their ingrained desires of financial provider for their mates; but they are not hesitant to ridicule men who voice their ingrained desires.

For instance, we often hear women state their displeasure about men who reject or remove themselves from women who are not slender to begin with or who have gained weight.  And first, lets stick the situation where this is strictly a preventable weight gain.

But let’s ask how these women would act when their men just decide that they will stop working, stay home, and let the women bring in all the money for the household needs.  Or even more directly; why haven’t they considered chosing a mate from among the homeless and unemployed?

And another aspect.  Many women will respond: How can you insist on a slender woman when you are not slender?  (As a side note: I am slender.)

Then let’s ask them: How can you insist on a financially secure man when you are not already in that category yourself?  (As a side note: I am financially secure.)

[Gator]

And another aspect.  Many women will respond: How can you insist on a slender woman when you are not slender?  (As a side note: I am slender.)

Then let’s ask them: How can you insist on a financially secure man when you are not already in that category yourself?

Does the lack of a side note in the second paragraph indicate you are not financially secure?

[Boethius]

Please make your comments in the appropriate Weight thread 1, 2, 3.

For instance, many women feel they are more evolved than men since they do not place as much emphasis on ‘looks’ as men do.  Many women pride themselves that they think beyond mere physical attributes and measure ‘inner’ qualities.  Of course this is very convenient for them since they do not have the beauty aspect ingrained for thousands of years as the men do.

Women are drawn to "looks" just as much as men are.   A woman isn't going to admit that, though, particularly to a man who is less than a physical ideal.

ETA - I think as women get older, they are more willing to "settle" for something less than their ideal.  

[OlgaH]

ETA - I think as women get older, they are more willing to "settle" for something less than their ideal.  

Boethius, I would say not because they get older but because they get more wiser realizing "nobody is perfect" 

[Boethius]

But then, do men remain perpetual adolescents?

[OlgaH]

But then, do men remain perpetual adolescents?

You know girls mature faster than boys    

and also a Russian saying: седина в бороду - бес в ребро  

[Boethius]

Touché, Olga.

Любви все возрасты покорны (дурак всегда дурак).