Time for some Humor!!

[Hammer2722]

At first, I couldn't figure this out.

Then I thought it meant, since Russia has universal health care, it will cost its government a lot to take care of the wounded Russian soldiers.

At second thought, maybe it's that America spends a lot on military rather than health care, which serves us better in times of conflict.

Anyway, jokes are not supposed to be funny if explanations needed; but maybe I'm the only dense one!!  :-)

ML, I believe its because we won't need universal healthcare.....

[Boethius]

At first, I couldn't figure this out.

Then I thought it meant, since Russia has universal health care, it will cost its government a lot to take care of the wounded Russian soldiers.

At second thought, maybe it's that America spends a lot on military rather than health care, which serves us better in times of conflict.

Anyway, jokes are not supposed to be funny if explanations needed; but maybe I'm the only dense one!!  :-)

It means that, unlike other Western countries, the US doesn't spend much in tax dollars on healthcare, so no universal healthcare, as exists in all other Western nations.  That money is spent on the military.

[Jumper1]

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[Jumper1]

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[ML]

Great idea.

[Nightwish]

 

[ML]

Women won't date a guy who still lives with his mother.

But they will date a guy who still lives with his wife.

[ML]

This woman doesn't seem to understand that by wearing shoes that don't match the rest of her outfit, men will only be looking at her shoes rather than her body.

[2tallbill]

This woman doesn't seem to understand that by wearing shoes that don't match the rest of her outfit, men will only be looking at her shoes rather than her body.

She has feet?

[Nightwish]

Russia: WE HAVE A PROTOTYPE T-14 ARMATA TANK BEST IN WORLD WE ARE STRONGEST MILITARY FORCE!!1!!!!!1§11
Also Russia:

[Grumpy]

http://i.imgur.com/2u9WmDn.jpg


Does any one else think of this song when they see a dis-attached turret?

[Nightwish]

this will never stop being funny

[Grumpy]

Putin shopping for some new equipment?

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/FSaUvdjWYAAeHiY?format=jpg&name=small

[2tallbill]

A recent study showed that Humans eat more banana's than
monkeys. It must be true, I can't remember the last time
that I ate a monkey.

[2tallbill]

[Grumpy]

Vladimir Putin suffers a stroke during the invasion of Ukraine and goes into a coma.
After several years, he wakes up and is allowed to leave the hospital, walking out onto the streets of Moscow.
Several years of being in a vegetative state have apparently taken their toll on the Russian leader, because no one recognizes him.
He decides to walk into a bar and orders himself one stiff drink, and then another.
After downing the two double vodkas, he asks the bartender:
”What year is it?”
Somewhat taken aback by the question, the bartender responds: “2025.”
”Did we win the war?” Putin asks.
”We won,” the bartender responds, pouring himself and Putin another shot, and clinking the glasses. “To our glorious victory,” the bartender says as they both down the shots.
”And Crimea, is it still ours?” Putin asks.
”Still ours,” the bartender responds.
“And Kiev, is it ours?”
”Of course,” the bartender responds.
This makes the Russian leader smile. He asks the bartender how much he owes for the drinks.
”100 hryvnia,” the bartender responds.

[tfcrew]

 Headline----British government forms July 4 committee to investigate the root cause of the American insurrection.
 
 Law enforcement in the age of dinosaurs...triceracops.

 A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.
At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket.
 They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same chapel and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying the casket.
As they are walking the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!" 

A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic's eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning. Eventually, a coherent voice emanates, saying, "Granddaughter? Are you there?"
The customer, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds, "Grandmother? Is that you?"
 "Yes granddaughter, it's me."
 "It's really, really you, grandmother?", the woman repeats.
 "Yes, it's really me, granddaughter." The woman looks puzzled, "You're sure it's you, grandmother?" "Yes, granddaughter, I'm sure it's me."
The woman pauses a moment, "Grandmother, I have a question for you."
"Anything, my child."  "Grandmother, when did you learn to speak English?"

[2tallbill]

Every girl is by, you just have to figure out if it's sexual or polar.

[krimster2]

Every gurl is also "BUY"!!!!!

[2tallbill]

Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist for the Miami Herald.
Colonoscopy Journal: 

My penis was in the Guinness book of world records.
Then the librarian told me to take it out.

[2tallbill]

[Grumpy]

 Soon to be published: ”A Guide to Contemporary Russian Tanks & the Ukrainian Tractors that Pull Them”

[krimster2]

too soon?