Trench's Questions and Philosophies

[krimster2]

the art of seduction...
is a complicated game Trench!!!

and you have no skills in this game, no wonder you can't win!
why don't you see that?

[krimster2]

Trench,

you think, “you got it bad”?
I would love to have your life, living by myself in quiet solitude in the English countryside, I would just go for a walk and breathe the fresh air...

I’m married to a 6‘1“ Russian woman who just hit her “second sexual prime”...
when I aim at this target, I better hit it, or it sure as hell is going to hit me instead...

not to mention two blond Russian-American teenage daughters, and the cohorts of teenage boys who hang around my pool, but don’t do anything useful, and who don’t even to try and curry my favor...

you see how bitter-sweet life can be...

are there any forests near your home?

a quiet English forest...
sad and melancholy...
is where you will find me...

[Trenchcoat]

Trenchcoat after reading about your inability to not be able to date in the FSU and locally in the UK I'm being reminded of a mass murder that happened recently in Toronto, Canada.

No I have told you I can date in the FSU and have done at least twice, three times if you count the dinner date girl. I have already just said I can get dates in the FSU that's why I go there. In the UK it's a different story, there was the girl from match where we met up for a couple of hours or so if you call that a date. No I am not an incel but action in the UK is in that direction.

I think a lot of you on here overstate my situation I am not severely impaired socially, I have no problems conversing with people in general. I can hold conversation like most people but I am not a socially savvy sort of guy. I don't light up a room when I enter it by being a real presence. A lot of guys don't some guys walk into a room of people and within moments are the centre of attention.

I'm just a normal guy among many normal guys in the UK that don't get any real action here. The same is true in the US I believe, it's just the way society has gone. If you watch the Netflix documentary 'Love Me' it features guys that also don't get any action with women (in the US). It's pretty common these days in western society. The guys in the documentary are apart from the odd issue normal everyday guys. I am like that a normal everyday guy that gets no action at home. One guy on the documentary an NRA gun nut got a girl. He came across as pretty much a non starter socially and he managed it. Partly there is luck invloved and also it's a numbers game it seems - he had previously meet about 60 odd women in the FSU I think ithe was over about 9 yrs, 6 trips of whatever. I would say even I am better socially than he was, not by a long way, not a lot but still better. I'm also in better shape and have a full head of hair.

Thing about the stick you mention is that it highlights how bad western society has become. It's become so bad that men even from all the way iN the US & Canada are willing to endure a long haul flight and expensive trip all the way to the other side of the wored to meet women. We should be asking g ourselves how western society has gotten so bad that this has become necessary.

[krimster2]

"I can get dates in the FSU that's why I go there. "

you'd better be getting a lot MORE THAN JUST DATES for your efforts in Ukraine...
I'm just sayin' though that if you're having "serial strike outs"
for the same effort and cost you could spend a few days w/ escorts in Odessa
and have guaranteed success
and maybe achieve some kind of insight from the experience...

[Trenchcoat]

Trench,

you think, “you got it bad”?
I would love to have your life, living by myself in quiet solitude in the English countryside, I would just go for a walk and breathe the fresh air...

I’m married to a 6‘1“ Russian woman who just hit her “second sexual prime”...
when I aim at this target, I better hit it, or it sure as hell is going to hit me instead...

not to mention two blond Russian-American teenage daughters, and the cohorts of teenage boys who hang around my pool, but don’t do anything useful, and who don’t even to try and curry my favor...

you see how bitter-sweet life can be...

are there any forests near your home?

a quiet English forest...
sad and melancholy...
is where you will find me...

Exactly your daughters are no doubt hot, hence why they have lots of guys drowning after them. They probably have a slim figure and at least quite pretty looking no doubt from good genes passed on. They are probably in the top tier, possibly top of the girls at their school for the most attractive popular girls that most guys lust after. They probably outstrip even the more pretty American American girls at theor school. You have done them a big favour by getting with a no doubt hot Russian lady. The guys hanging sound your pool are evidence of their hotness and popular position. It also shows the number of guys ie demand there us for these types of hot girls in US society - a load of guys chasing too few hot women. And people here wondered why I had hang ups about taking my pretty Ukrainian girl back to the UK.

The guys that hang out by the pool won't try and curry your favour btw that is a sure faux pas at that age and will destroy their chances with the girls. See my social awareness is not that bad

Yes there are a few English forests near me, ome just literally down the road It's nice to get out there but rarely do I always busy with something else. I also have heathland nearby with great views over my town it's very scenic. I sometimes go there mostly when I'm down as it gets me away from it all. Haven't been there in a while either so you reminding me will likely prompt me too!

[Trenchcoat]

"I can get dates in the FSU that's why I go there. "

you'd better be getting a lot MORE THAN JUST DATES for your efforts in Ukraine...
I'm just sayin' though that if you're having "serial strike outs"
for the same effort and cost you could spend a few days w/ escorts in Odessa
and have guaranteed success
and maybe achieve some kind of insight from the experience...

The last girl I was with I learnt a lot from being with her, that was one of the plus sides. She also caused a lot of confusion and questions for me and on that one the guys & girls on this forum have really helped me out a lot I think I'm best of for the moment just hitting up team ladies oit there and continuing to learn and enjoy from the experience. I'm just not an escort type of guy, many of the pro daters out there are apparently escorts and a they also pop up on the romance tours out there also apparently. It's just not a scene I'm interested in, I feel I can learn all I wish to/need to through regular dating out there.

[Boethius]

The guys that hang out by the pool won't try and curry your favour btw that is a sure faux pas at that age and will destroy their chances with the girls. See my social awareness is not that bad

No, it proves your social awareness is flawed.  Teens of that age typically are intimidated by parents.

[krimster2]

I really do try and limit the amount of intimidation I dish out to young males
(unlike some people...)

none of the "cadets" who orbit around my daughters have much of a "clue" about anything...
at first, their existence was annoying, what with me being able to somehow 'divine' their intentions and all...
which most certainly were not 'honorable'...

earlier, I had falsely believed that my position as father to the hottest girl in 11th grade, would bestow upon me some kind of "perk"
like a car wash or something or at least a "pick up" of empty trash around the pool, or some other service performed by a legion of hopeful teenage boys..
but thus far, have received only disappointment...

in such a sea of mediocrity
how hard is it for one of them to create an island...

[krimster2]

well Trench,


you should learn to play the acoustic guitar
if you learn how to play 3 chords, C, F, G, you can play about 90% of songs, it's just get the rhythm for each song, but just those 3 chords
you could learn to play 1 or 2 songs in 3 months

did you ever see a poor little puppy for sale in the pet store?
look like him, but play the guitar!

there is I know a deeper story to you Trench
by any chance did you grow up without a father?
or was it your mother...

[northkape]

Don't be to hard on Trench guys :-)
Not that I think he cares anyway, maybe the most trash repellant guy ever on this forum.
Being continually gunned down, he is still able to stand up, and voice his opinions, without shooting back.

Trench,,,,,
Contrary to a lot of the others here, I think you have some rather good personal qualities also.
Traits that will make you a reasonably good partner, for a young Ukraine woman wanting to start a family with children.

One is, that you are able to handle criticism very well and stay reasonable in your answers,
while at the same time standing up for your own views, whether they are "correct" or not.
This belief you have in yourself, is an advantage and something most women consider a "positive".
The correctness of your beliefs can always be adjusted, as you learn more, the trait is still good.
Work on downplaying your uncomfortable social "fear", and try elevating your keyboard "self confidence" to validity in real life also.
Your obsession with all things economic, isn't all bad either, and a good Ukraine woman will go alongside you in the quest for financial balance.

Stop analysing about cultural differences, and how FSU women are or not. It has no meaning on an individual level.
Women have all kind of different personalities. Some of them hardwired, not changeable, and then some traits that can be grown / adjusted, by her desire to do so.
I would look out for those hardwired traits; drop non intimate, negativity, laziness, and so on ... 

When first meeting with a woman, after having looked into her eyes, and feeling comfortable with what you see, ask what she wants.
Meeting in a restaurant, what she would like to have for drinking (to start with); water, coffee, glass of wine, or,,,,,,,
If not in a restaurant, where she would like to go, or what to do; restaurant, walk in the park, or,,,,
When sitting down, sit beside her,,,, when walking be close beside her,,, faces meeting, look straight at her with a neutral friendly smile.
At start of conversing, small talk first about weather, how she or you arrived, how was her day,,,, look straight into her eyes every now and then when you talk...
Remember to talk slowly with a slight pause between words. Be aware that she might not understand more than half of what you are saying.
Having problems finding things to talk about, and feeling somewhat awkward about first time conversation with a stranger, take her for a walk (you lead).
When weather permits, outside,,,, otherwise inside a museum, shopping center :-), or,,,,
What you see around you, will provide a long list of subjects to talk about, questioning her about and so on.
And walking gives you many opportunities to touch; her hand across a street or her shoulder when pointing at something.
Her reaction to touching, will tell you how comfortable she is to being intimate with you. I always dropped those that had problems with touching.

With your worries about economy, look for a woman with a skill, where she can start working her own business from home immediately.
Hairdresser (for women or maybe for pets; dogs) Cosmetic treatments, skin, nails,,, Home cleaning, for private or airbnb as an example.
Also sewing, catering, cake baking, and so on.
A rudimentary web page (with Google Adwords) / Facebook page, with competitive prices and contact info will usually give her a lot of work :-)
These are some examples I have seen personally, that FSU women have done when marrying men, unable to fully support their wife economically here in Norway.

Norwegian so-so men in their 40-50s that just married a beautiful young FSU woman found on a dating site, without ever reading a forum or analysing anything at all.
Like half ending in a divorce after a few years, some lasting with kids and all, now closing in on 15-20 years among those I'm familiar with.

I had relationships with A+ 9-10 women, that were considerable younger than me, throughout all of my adult life. Norwegian till 40s and FSU after that.   
When talking with women I were interested in, I always included them in a vision about what their future life could look like,
what a fantastic world is waiting for them outside their door, and how far they could go, if they wanted to and were willing to give it a try.
And they did, and succeeded in having, when considering their foundation, almost unbelievable careers in their lives.
Which I'm sure my present Ukraine wife will accomplish also when her time is due :-)

You could do the same Trench, but make the vision, a family with kids living in harmony together with their loving parents.
These kind of dreams will catch the imagination of almost all women, with a magnetic pull towards you, "the provider of their future" :-)

Forget about smaller cities like Lvov. Target Kiev with surrounding districts, and the cities within two hours: Zhytomir, Tsjernihiv, Bila Tsverka, Tsjerkassy ++.
This will ease logistics a lot, and use several dating sites to line up more meetings than you can handle, as there will be cancellations.
A rental car works wonders for a strategy like this. And if you are cheapskate like me, I slept in the car every night, to save on accommodation.

If you haven't read it already, you can read my story here:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=15509.0






 

[krimster2]

“One is, that you are able to handle criticism very well and stay reasonable in your answers,”

yes, if you plan on living with a woman, you better learn “how to handle criticism” you’ll receive quite a bit LOL!!  Trench, has that down!!! poor guy...
Trench has remained calm throughout - that’s a good quality for once a relationship starts

“Cosmetic treatments, skin, nails,,”

my wife turned her interest in skin care into starting her own skin care salon, and is making her own cosmetics now - she loves this - it gives her purpose now that kids are nearly grown

“ Target Kiev with surrounding districts, and the cities within two hours:”

add to the list of local satellite towns:
Chernigov, Nezhin
there’s good hunting here
but I’d also include Odessa further south

I am sympathetic to Trench, I hope this experience contributes to his personal growth and I hope he finds his soul mate

[JayH]

Don't be to hard on Trench guys :-)

NK--my apologies --it was you I was referring to a few posts back.
Numerous common strategies-- the main one was meet ,meet,meet & then see ! And make a fair effort in the process.

On TC -- you probably have not bother read reading all his nonsense ,and you have missed a major point --he does  not want children .
That is a very important point --and very specific to your comments.

Generally speaking -the NorthKape story is one of the most interesting  to read -- and his ideas and conclusions worth re reading !

[krimster2]

"and you have missed a major point --he does  not want children ."

in that case focus on women more or less his own age
LOTS of these women there!  some of them breathtakingly beautiful!
(time for another Weird Uncle Krimster Story)
when I first moved to Crimea in 2004, I was eager to take my daughters to our local beach which was about 300 yards from our apartment
you never saw two happier kids playing in the sand with each other which always drew in other nearby kids and soon they're all jabberin away in Russian and I can zone out on my ipod for awhile
my wife and I switch back in forth between who's entertaining the "dynamic duo"
and when I'm not up to bat, I can do pretty much WTF I want!
my first alone time in my first week of living there, I wanted to explore the rocky coves around the beach
they had evidence of some kind of ruins and I wanted to investigate
after spending about 10 minutes climbing over a bunch of boulders, I was able to peer down into a small hidden cove that had single inhabitant
a beautiful blond woman laying naked on a blanket
I was frozen like a deer in a headlight, and the seconds started ticking by
a droplet of sweat began to trickle down my face but I could not move
then as if by magic and on my command
she stood
and I could watch the well toned muscles of her body, every taunt muscle...
as she stood and did her morning calisthenics
a tall nordic blond, very likely a professional dancer of some kind, judging by her movements, 35-40 yr old
perfect Olympian body
but I'm married...
so I turned around and went home...

[krimster2]

Trench,
the lowest common denominator of womanhood
is their “secret selfish side”
which is based purely on “self-interest”

Trench, there are women in Ukraine in the 35-40 yr range
who would be willing to give up their miserable life in Ukraine
for a less miserable one in the UK
and they will be, how shall we say, both “pleasing to the eye” as well as “to the soul”
because just based on self-interest this would be their best choice to make
the trick is to look in “economically disadvantaged areas” in Ukraine
yeah, I know the whole country is an economically disadvantaged area
but believe it or not some parts of the ghetto or worse than other parts
and you my friend want to go to the very worst, to boost your chances
so forget Kyiv or Odessa - that’s for rich kids!!!

how about Novo Russia?
das right, eastern Ukraine!!!
it’s a long shot, but, hear me out!!
this is THE most economically depressed region in Eastern Europe
but I call it fertile territory
on-line almost everyone will be a scammer from here
don’t do it on-line
just go in cold - be extremely extroverted, have a “cover story”
I know within 48 hr of getting off the plane I would not be alone if I were single and your age, whatcha waitin for?

[Maxx2]

For Trench


“Make your mistakes, take your chances, look silly, but keep on going. Don’t freeze up.” ― Thomas Wolfe You Can't Go Home Again

[krimster2]

Trench,

I know I should just let you figure out your own “cover story”, but what the hell, right...??

OK, here’s what you do, get some random picture of a really beautiful woman, in the age range you’re interested in and put it on your i-phone (must be i-phone)

learn Russian

make a story in Russian, the girl is your friend/cousin/anything but your girlfriend, and has disappeared and you’re trying to find her, approach only women the age you are interested in

ask if they recognize the girl

this story lets you speak to any woman you want with a “prepared speech”

after they say, they don’t recognize her, you can ask them a few more questions
those who are interested will stay in talk
those who aren’t interested will move on

in a busy market place you could easily screen 100 women/day

OK, now...

[JayH]

"and you have missed a major point --he does  not want children ."

in that case focus on women more or less his own age

Nope-- he says that is too old for him--  he wants someone much younger !

Take note you guys are doing what has been done by others a 1000 times previously--  giving him your time with reasonable sensible suggestions -- none have ever got through his head
The biggest presumption you are making  --is that he is a 'normal" guy --he  aint!

[Blighty]

On TC -- you probably have not bother read reading all his nonsense ,and you have missed a major point --he does  not want children .

UK Spouse rules apply here! Spouse without child means TC must earn £18,600. TC would need to earn an extra £3,800 for her first child, and £2,400 for each child she has after the first child! This is a fair enough strategy if TC would struggle to earn £22,400 for spouse and her existing child!

[krimster2]

actually jay,
I’m afraid that this is a tragic example of the after effects of the collapse of the industrial economy created during Britain’s 19th century manufacturing boom

the closing of the mills created an economic vacuum that sucked the life out of Britain's economy, creating guys like Trench

that and the fact that he grew up in an isolated environment and had to cope with early childhood trauma, have created in Trench an existence based upon social isolation

Trench is a deeply lonely man, who in his own way, is just reaching out to his fellow human beings

can’t we all show Trench “a little love”

c’mon guys...

Trench buddy, I’m tryin’ to teach you to fish...

the idea behind fishin’ is easy!!!

ya’ got some bait
and ya’ gotta hook

that’s all it is man...

[JayH]

UK Spouse rules apply here! Spouse without child means TC must earn £18,600. TC would need to earn an extra £3,800 for her first child, and £2,400 for each child she has after the first child! This is a fair enough strategy if TC would struggle to earn £22,400 for spouse and her existing child!

With all due respect -none of that has or had anything to do with his attitude to children .fwiw
He basically wants a virgin -- a girl not tainted by another man !! Let alone a child to remind him !

[JayH]

Krimster -- the guy has gone out of his way to insult others here , show a total lack of empathy,insulted Ukraine and Ukrainian women & women generally ,made more inappropriate comments etc etc etc etc etc etc

Basically a  dumb cretin !

Note -- all I have done above is point out the base presumptions being made by reasonable posters --were fundamentally asked and answered long ago !

[krimster2]

it’s exactly like what Aristotle said...
to solve a big problem, you first divide it into separate smaller problems

so if I were trying to meet women in Eastern Ukraine, I’d divide the process into two parts:

the first part is the bait that I use to get them to take the hook
the hook is to get them to have lunch with me
then once they have lunch, to next have dinner
and then “you know”

some guys, if they’re not too old and not too unattractive can just use themselves as the bait..
otherwise you need something to break the “stranger barrier”

and that is totally up to your imagination, I have sometimes under duress had to spontaneously put on a good bit of acting pretending to be lost in front of my bank in Kyiv to attract a particular passing woman’s attention who helped “rescue me”, great was her reward, I can assure you...

I think the “Hi, I’m an Englishman searching for my cousin’s daughter” and show this super model photo on your iphone” will get some nibbles, and you just have to jerk the line at the right time

at a busy market you really could screen a 100 super model looking women/day
if only one out of 5 would let you ask questions, and only half would accept lunch
that would get you 10 lunch dates per day and your actual results would probably be better even if you were just an average guy

but seriously, everyone should be able to come up with the method they feel comfortable with,
but the goal is to dispel the stranger barrier and mistrust and fear of foreigners...
and let the attraction to a foreigner take over, if they have it...

guys, you have no idea how much fun this is, now do you?

[Trenchcoat]

Don't be to hard on Trench guys :-)
Not that I think he cares anyway, maybe the most trash repellant guy ever on this forum.
Being continually gunned down, he is still able to stand up, and voice his opinions, without shooting back.

Trench,,,,,
Contrary to a lot of the others here, I think you have some rather good personal qualities also.
Traits that will make you a reasonably good partner, for a young Ukraine woman wanting to start a family with children.

One is, that you are able to handle criticism very well and stay reasonable in your answers,
while at the same time standing up for your own views, whether they are "correct" or not.
This belief you have in yourself, is an advantage and something most women consider a "positive".
The correctness of your beliefs can always be adjusted, as you learn more, the trait is still good.
Work on downplaying your uncomfortable social "fear", and try elevating your keyboard "self confidence" to validity in real life also.
Your obsession with all things economic, isn't all bad either, and a good Ukraine woman will go alongside you in the quest for financial balance.

I would look out for those hardwired traits; drop non intimate, negativity, laziness, and so on ... 

With your worries about economy, look for a woman with a skill, where she can start working her own business from home immediately.
Hairdresser (for women or maybe for pets; dogs) Cosmetic treatments, skin, nails,,, Home cleaning, for private or airbnb as an example.
Also sewing, catering, cake baking, and so on.
A rudimentary web page (with Google Adwords) / Facebook page, with competitive prices and contact info will usually give her a lot of work :-)
These are some examples I have seen personally, that FSU women have done when marrying men, unable to fully support their wife economically here in Norway.

Norwegian so-so men in their 40-50s that just married a beautiful young FSU woman found on a dating site, without ever reading a forum or analysing anything at all.
Like half ending in a divorce after a few years, some lasting with kids and all, now closing in on 15-20 years among those I'm familiar with.

I had relationships with A+ 9-10 women, that were considerable younger than me, throughout all of my adult life. Norwegian till 40s and FSU after that.   
When talking with women I were interested in, I always included them in a vision about what their future life could look like,
what a fantastic world is waiting for them outside their door, and how far they could go, if they wanted to and were willing to give it a try.
And they did, and succeeded in having, when considering their foundation, almost unbelievable careers in their lives.
Which I'm sure my present Ukraine wife will accomplish also when her time is due :-)

You could do the same Trench, but make the vision, a family with kids living in harmony together with their loving parents.
These kind of dreams will catch the imagination of almost all women, with a magnetic pull towards you, "the provider of their future" :-)

Forget about smaller cities like Lvov. Target Kiev with surrounding districts, and the cities within two hours: Zhytomir, Tsjernihiv, Bila Tsverka, Tsjerkassy ++.
This will ease logistics a lot, and use several dating sites to line up more meetings than you can handle, as there will be cancellations.
A rental car works wonders for a strategy like this. And if you are cheapskate like me, I slept in the car every night, to save on accommodation.

If you haven't read it already, you can read my story here:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=15509.0

Thanks, Northkape, I appreciate you seeing good personal qualities in me I guess I probably do have those qualities to me though I never really thought about it. You make some good points about the background and type of woman and how this might play out if we got together, so its something to consider indeed. I think giving the girl a vision of how her life could be is a good idea also. I've considered this a little in terms of 'how she could fit in' and 2tallbill made some good suggestions on this. I think putting her in the place of the 'driver' to this visions rather than me immediately 'elevating her to this vision is the thing to do so she shows commitment & effort to the cause.

I think the vision of a pleasant, harmonious and cheery family life with children is perhaps the best one though and of course relatively the cheapest

I don't think even I would sleep in the back of a car doing this venture, that is too cheapskate even for me, lol.

At the moment I'm kind of half & half on supporting the wife, I could do it so long as she has normal spending habits - basic grocery shopping, basic clothes, modest entertainment costs, etc but any big demands from her would start to take their toll the bigger they are or longer they go on for. I would have issue if she is either sat at home all day and I'm at work or she's also at work all day. I know you have to trust each other and be into each other on this front and while some space from each other is often seen as healthy I think a life that can be shared as one whole rather than two halves is what I see as probably being the best situation.

On the cities, yes I have my slight reservations about Lviv/Lvov being smallish and not drumming up the response I would like. I think I will book myself into some cheap but decent accommodation there so if it does go south I can move on without too much cost. I quite fancy looking at Kharkiv as that is supposed to be good for woman also and a big city (second biggest in Ukraine to Kiev apparently). That said I think through this year until I find the one I will do as Nightwish suggests and do long weekend trips. On this I am thinking of doing a different area/city of Ukraine on each one so say Kharkiv on one, Kherson on another, then a Kiev revisit, Odessa, etc, etc and out to the surrounding cities, etc. That way I will get to compare what area/city might suit me best I'm thinking.

Already planning to use several dating sites to get the numbers as know just one may not turn up a lot.

I will also read your story as find some can be very enlightening, many thanks for the help

[Trenchcoat]

On TC -- you probably have not bother read reading all his nonsense ,and you have missed a major point --he does  not want children .
That is a very important point --and very specific to your comments.

I want a woman without any existing children, but I want to have my own children with her, just to clarify.

So both of us single wanting children but not already with children.

If one did come up by chance who had children and there was obvious heavy attraction and she was just right for me then I would still go with her but looking for a woman with children already would not be my first choice.

[Trenchcoat]

Trench,

I know I should just let you figure out your own “cover story”, but what the hell, right...??

OK, here’s what you do, get some random picture of a really beautiful woman, in the age range you’re interested in and put it on your i-phone (must be i-phone)

learn Russian

make a story in Russian, the girl is your friend/cousin/anything but your girlfriend, and has disappeared and you’re trying to find her, approach only women the age you are interested in

ask if they recognize the girl

this story lets you speak to any woman you want with a “prepared speech”

after they say, they don’t recognize her, you can ask them a few more questions
those who are interested will stay in talk
those who aren’t interested will move on

in a busy market place you could easily screen 100 women/day

OK, now...

That's actually a real good opener Krimster, thanks for that you're far better at this than me.

I have only learned a small spattering of Russian from self learn CD's, Internet, etc. I usually just state myself as not being able to speak any Russian since its probably so little/bad that its not worth stating. I want to find the time to learn more but time is spent on wealth creation which is the heart of what I need to be taken seriously by many women and get the job done. I will try and give your opener a try, many thanks