Do all FSUW have the same opportunities for marriage and a family?

[japtats]

'hey I got the girl and she's not with me because of money, green card, etc, etc, she's with me because of (the great guy) who I am' lol.

Their apparent magic only works with countries where income is low, and people are financially motivated. If their wives told them they were a virgin with 2 kids, they would buy it. I wonder what type of people are dumb enough to fall for some of these common scams , then i come here, and i understand. They are scared of their own reflection. Their problem is their self worth is based on their partner, so if their partner is deemed not amazing, they feel inadequate.

I stopped going for women for validation, but rather for support on my own journey. I prove my self worth in the gym, and my work, everything else is background noise to get me to the place i need to be.

[I/O]

Do tell us what career choices your mother would have had at, say, age 25?

Telecommunications, logistics (both of which she was managing as arms of her father's business interests from age 17), various areas of the arts and so on but I think you missed her point or maybe I didn't explain it well - that is her primary freedom was, that she was NOT forced to make these choices as so many are now.

I didn't live 2 generations back as "others" here suggest I did but what I do know is that freedoms in general are less now than when I was growing up. Choices don't equate to freedom if you are forced to make them....

[GenMish]

First of all, this forum isnt a 'how to' have a 60 year marriage, its about finding a FSUW for marriage. The 60 yr marriage then is up to you. I know Grandpa and Grandma stayed together 60 yrs, but they needed each other to survive. Times have changed. After the kids grow up, and move out, you really dont need each other anymore. John is right, people change


Hollywood types have multiple marriages, because they can afford to. But some stay together. I know lots of guys that want a divorce, but they cant afford it. They take on the 'its cheaper to keep her' doctrine despite sexless marriages or infidelities.

[John Gaunt]

Telecommunications, logistics (both of which she was managing as arms of her father's business interests from age 17), various areas of the arts and so on but I think you missed her point or maybe I didn't explain it well - that is her primary freedom was, that she was NOT forced to make these choices as so many are now.

I didn't live 2 generations back as "others" here suggest I did but what I do know is that freedoms in general are less now than when I was growing up. Choices don't equate to freedom if you are forced to make them....

I don’t think I’m the one missing the point here.....

[2tallbill]

Their apparent magic only works with countries where income is low, and people are financially motivated.

When I was young, I thought I knew more than I did.

If their wives told them they were a virgin with 2 kids, they would buy it.

Ahhh... the pedestal preservation society of white knights of the imaginary
realm. Those guys rarely survive long enough to get married and if they do
they don't survive their divorce 1 year later. Those few who live never stray
far from their Hemo-dialysis machines that they need after their sweet
Russian girl harvested their kidneys.

Most of the married guys here have survived and thrived. There aren't any
married members of the pedestal preservation crowd posting at this forum.
Being married to a real, live, breathing, speaking Russian woman kicks any
ideas of pedestals right out of your head.

I wonder what type of people are dumb enough to fall for some of these
common scams , then i come here, and i understand. They are scared
of their own reflection.

The guys who fall for the silly scams don't make it through the gantlet
with their organs intact, and they surely don't end up happily married
and posting here. Again, you are speaking of imaginary unicorn people.   

Their problem is their self worth is based on their partner, so if their
partner is deemed not amazing, they feel inadequate.

The arm trophy men are usually too narcissistic to go through all the
difficulties required to find, pursue and marry a Russian wife. Those
types might be found around Brighton Beach trying to scoop up a
Russian girl already here. It's too much work to get a real one from
Russia, it requires too much patience and it's far too difficult for
narcissists who would at least require vast amounts of praise for
their efforts.

I would advise not telling others what their individual motivations are
or were, but if you asked most of the guys here would probably tell you.

 

[I/O]

I would advise not telling others what their individual motivations are
or were, but if you asked most of the guys here would probably tell you.

Bill, I don't think many come here or remain looking for advice, it's more often a convenient platform to offer opinions in the hope of validation - when that doesn't happen, often the poster becomes upset..🙄

As for motivation, TBH, I never really thought about it and I still (15 years later) can't answer that one. I was travelling, I met people and of course women all over the world. I dated, including 3 from USA and a number from various other countries - certainly I was looking for travel (or at least location) companions but marriage...? Maybe I was but  I wasn't consciously doing so.

[japtats]

When I was young, I thought I knew more than I did.

You are focusing way too much on age, and not answering the question. Why can your magic only work in the FSU? Why not in countries with higher incomes? If it is not financial leverage that you are using. That is my question, try to answer it?

I would advise not telling others what their individual motivations are
or were, but if you asked most of the guys here would probably tell you.

Well if that cannot be honest that they used their financial leverage to find a woman, i doubt they can give an honest answer. Fragile people cannot look in the mirror and be honest with themselves, and their tactics to find a woman.

[Faux Pas]

You are focusing way too much on age, and not answering the question. Why can your magic only work in the FSU? Why not in countries with higher incomes? If it is not financial leverage that you are using. That is my question, try to answer it?



Well if that cannot be honest that they used their financial leverage to find a woman, i doubt they can give an honest answer. Fragile people cannot look in the mirror and be honest with themselves, and their tactics to find a woman.

What is it exactly that you believe is attracting your one month wonder? The fact that you are in love with the idea of a tattooed face or that you enjoy the gym daily? Is that what really got her and your bank account really doesn't matter?  You boast of your work, either you are making an income or you are living off of a bank account. You don't live in the FSU without an income source. By your own admission the work you are devoted to doesn't pay much but, it does pay something? If you were broke had no account and needed to live of the wages of your new love, would she be there? Could the tatts and daily trip to the gym keep her? You really should take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself that very honest question

[japtats]

tattooed face or that you enjoy the gym daily? Is that what really got her and your bank account really doesn't matter?

My income does matter, where did i say it didn't? Just i am man enough to admit it, unlike most.

If you were broke had no account and needed to live of the wages of your new love, would she be there? Could the tatts and daily trip to the gym keep her? You really should take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself that very honest question

Hard to answer, i dated people when i was broke in FSU, but they believed i would find a way to increase my income. So it is a yes/no , yes i do have amazing tattoos, go to the gym regularly, and when i am at my peak i look better than 90% of the guys in the gym (My FSU exes enjoyed showing me off, especially to their ex's, sort of a jab at them). Also i tell women i don't plan on going the West, so maybe if we are comparing apples and oranges ( me to you), my situation is very different to most of your situations. Yet i preach, and admit, financial responsibility is important if not the most important thing in FSU.

My intention was to make others more honest that their partners are not with them because they are Brad Pitt, and intelligent because their political viewpoints, but most of the weight is based on their bank accounts, and the woman leaving FSU. If she is not happy in the West, like all your friends found out (your own admission 15 of your friends who married FSU), woman finds a new man, and leaves Mr 'i am amazing, my woman didn't marry me for a green card or my income' , to dust.

[John Gaunt]

My income does matter, where did i say it didn't? Just i am man enough to admit it, unlike most.

Hard to answer, i dated people when i was broke in FSU, but they believed i would find a way to increase my income. So it is a yes/no , yes i do have amazing tattoos, go to the gym regularly, and when i am at my peak i look better than 90% of the guys in the gym. Also i tell women i don't plan on going the West, so maybe if we are comparing apples and oranges ( me to you), my situation is very different to most of your situations. Yet i preach, and admit, financial responsibility is important if not the most important thing in FSU.

My intention was to make others more honest that their partners are not with them because they are Brad Pitt, and intelligent because their political viewpoints, but most of the weight is based on their bank accounts, and the woman leaving FSU. If she is not happy in the West, like all your friends found out (your own admission 15 of your friends who married FSU), woman finds a new man, and leaves Mr 'i am amazing, my woman didn't marry me for a green card or my income' , to dust.

While money does factor in the equation, after all, one has to be able to fund all the expenses involved to begin with, it’s not all about money.
I courted my wife for over a year before we even began to think about a life together and all this while she was sussing whether I was a serious man, not going through my bank accounts to check my material worth.
I think it doesn’t really matter where you date, a woman is always going to want to be assured that her prospective spouse is able to support the family unit especially if having children is on the cards.
From a woman’s perspective, ( preparing to be shot down here) if her productive years are going to be dedicated to child bearing and raising ( exceptions notwithstanding) then the onus will be on the man to provide.
It would be good if our female members can jump in here with their views.

[japtats]

it’s not all about money.

I never said it was, nor do i believe it is, but if a wastern man goes to FSU, he is using his financial leverage, the importance of financial leverage increases if the woman is seeking a Western man (As in on Foreign dating websites), leaves FSU, and such.

Actually i met my ex fiance on tinder, she said she didn't like foreign men because of the language differences, but she has a HUGE fetish for tattoos, and muscles. The women i met now none have been from foreign dating websites, as my location is set to Ukraine, before i would find many women from these sites, now i can't get anything. The only difference is my LOCATION, see where i am going with this?

she was sussing whether I was a serious man, not going through my bank accounts to check my material worth.

They do homework, i had FSUW ask me to translate financial documents of tax returns of Western men they are pursuing, they can do a simple google check of your company, role, and see average salary. Not really hard.

assured that her prospective spouse is able to support the family unit especially if having children is on the cards.

I agree, but like i said, doesn't matter the reason why finances are important, it just is. Finding excuses why, won't change the importance of it.

It would be good if our female members can jump in here with their views.

I remember women telling me the way a man looks doesn't matter, so i asked them why are they on a date with me, if my dating profile is me topless? They always smirk, then say it is important, and admit they felt no chemistry for guys they weren't attracted to.

I remember i was friends with benefits with a girl, i asked her why she cared of a guys body, she said because of the dedication. She also rejected a guy similar age to me, who was training to be a Junior Doctor, because he was ugly. Are junior Doctors not dedicated?

I remember another girl posted on facebook how she loved her boyfriends personality , and he is a dream. Few days later she was rolling in my bed, she said he was ugly, and she was confused.

I stopped listening to what women say they want, and started look at where their actions go. We can look for reassurance, or take the hard path, make more money, lift some weights, don't bust our nut in 2mins.

Women and men are not all that different, but generally men are more upfront , and do not wear , hence why women are more passive aggressive than physical, shown by studies. When a man is aggressive, he will tell you, and be physical.

[japtats]

I stopped listening to what women say they want, and started look at where their actions go. We can look for reassurance, or take the hard path, make more money, lift some weights, don't bust our nut in 2mins.

Just to clear something up, once i did this, the quality of my relationships improved with women, they were more committed, and make life changing decisions. Quality of women improved in what they offered improved also.

[Sea Salt Caramel]

My mother and father and their mothers and their fathers have all remained together without need for marriage counseling or divorce. If you take marriage seriously you will find the right woman and support her for life. I know others will disagree with me (and that's okay), but this is how it works in my family. I'll get married exactly once and God forbid my marriage ends in divorce, I will have failed.

I truly admire people who are able to maintain the love and respect for their wife or husband through their entire life, it's really a noble pursuit.

However, there is one thing I'd like to point out (and this is not directed personally at you, LotD, just something that came to my mind).

While one partner may see marriage as "once and forever" he or she should not forget that it takes two to tango. So the pursuit of a life-long commitment on the part of one partner should not become a trap -economic, emotional, religious, social etc. - for the other partner.

I suspect in many situations in the past, economic and social stigma/religious beliefs were exactly the factor that played a big role in people sticking together. In my opinion, marriage shouldn't turn into endurance training.

[I/O]

I suspect in many situations in the past, economic and social stigma/religious beliefs were exactly the factor that played a big role in people sticking together. In my opinion, marriage shouldn't turn into endurance training.

Yet, like many good things, and IMO a successful marriage is the highest if all good things, endurance and at times even suffering is required to  achieve longevity and success.

The get out when it gets tough mentality, especially among those chasing FSU women and indeed among many FSU women has always struck me as ironic - the vast majority of foreign men chasing FSU women and the FSU women they are chasing are one or the other of the two mainstream religions, that is Christian of some denomination or Muslim, both of which consider marriage as a lifetime commitment. In many cases couples will publically state "for better or worse etc..". Even many of the Eastern religions, into which a number of RW that we know and my Ol' lady went to school with are married into see it the same way.

Just something to think about....

[Faux Pas]

My income does matter, where did i say it didn't? Just i am man enough to admit it, unlike most.

I don't know that anyone else has said income didn't matter in their pursuit, either. It does matter, tremendously. It is a catalyst to most every east/west relationship which couldn't happen without it. Personally, I've never denied that but you seem to having a habit of pointing around the forum at some of us older chaps with the idea many of us couldn't secure the love of a RW without a financial arrangement. That just isn't true. Money matters and it is an important ingredient in these relationships but, it isn't all that matters

Hard to answer, i dated people when i was broke in FSU, but they believed i would find a way to increase my income. So it is a yes/no , yes i do have amazing tattoos, go to the gym regularly, and when i am at my peak i look better than 90% of the guys in the gym (My FSU exes enjoyed showing me off, especially to their ex's, sort of a jab at them). Also i tell women i don't plan on going the West, so maybe if we are comparing apples and oranges ( me to you), my situation is very different to most of your situations. Yet i preach, and admit, financial responsibility is important if not the most important thing in FSU.

My intention was to make others more honest that their partners are not with them because they are Brad Pitt, and intelligent because their political viewpoints, but most of the weight is based on their bank accounts, and the woman leaving FSU. If she is not happy in the West, like all your friends found out (your own admission 15 of your friends who married FSU), woman finds a new man, and leaves Mr 'i am amazing, my woman didn't marry me for a green card or my income' , to dust.

There are few very few, 30 somethings Brad Pitt lookalikes going to the FSU from anywhere. It's not up to you to question anyone else's honesty in why they married who they did. Why are you there? You're in a good position as you have your age and looks working for you, now. It's difficult for you to believe but, it won't always be that way. Most guys are well aware of the situation that puts them in position to catch a more attractive and considerably younger woman in the FSU than they can at home. That's usually why they pursue it but, that doesn't make them bad or questionable people. I'd caution you not to paint every man with the same broad brush.

I personally know at least a half dozen RW in Russia that would consider a western partner in a heartbeat and never consider their wealth or lack of it. They truly want a man to build a family/relationship with. However his ability to take care of the family is paramount for all of them. They would expect the same from RM. For most men no matter their looks or age that's important to them also. Make no mistake there are plenty of sex tourists, men far reaching well out of their league, ample gold diggers and green card seekers. Hopefully they will all find each other.

[Sea Salt Caramel]

Yet, like many good things, and IMO a successful marriage is the highest if all good things, endurance and at times even suffering is required to  achieve longevity and success.

The get out when it gets tough mentality, especially among those chasing FSU women and indeed among many FSU women has always struck me as ironic - the vast majority of foreign men chasing FSU women and the FSU women they are chasing are one or the other of the two mainstream religions, that is Christian of some denomination or Muslim, both of which consider marriage as a lifetime commitment. In many cases couples will publically state "for better or worse etc..". Even many of the Eastern religions, into which a number of RW that we know and my Ol' lady went to school with are married into see it the same way.

Just something to think about....

Oh I'm not disputing that sometimes one needs to persevere and work on the marriage/relationship. But it only works if what's there is worth salvaging and fixing, and if the other partner isn't abusing the sacrament of marriage for their own benefit.

It just has to be a two-way street, and also, hysterically whining "I'm gonna kill myself if you ever leave me" doesn't count as working on a relationship. Same with "Fine, hit the road, "скатертью дорога" - but the kids are not going anywhere, and God forbid you try to get visitation (or alimony/child support as the case may be)" and other types of blackmail. That's what I mean by trying to trap the other partner (and many other things, not as ridiculous or glaring as these two examples).
Or, something like denying the spouse access to education (by limiting funds and free time available), to make sure they stay dependent, et cetera.

All of the above and a lot more can easily be undertaken under the guise of "till death do us part" and "Marriage is sacred, so now *YOU* got to shut up and endure".

[2tallbill]

You are focusing way too much on age, and not answering the question. Why can your magic only work in the FSU? Why not in countries with higher incomes? If it is not financial leverage that you are using. That is my question, try to answer it?

Well if that cannot be honest that they used their financial leverage to find a woman, i doubt they can give an honest answer. Fragile people cannot look in the mirror and be honest with themselves, and their tactics to find a woman.

Who says that my magic only works in the FSU? I have never had any difficulty
finding a woman who wanted to date me in the USA with the exception of the oil
fields of Western North Dakota. Women of all stripes have nearly always clamored
to be with my tall, confident, handsome and charming self.

Women want confidence number one.

[Boethius]

I was not born sixty years ago, so can't comment on then.  I grew up in the 1970's, when divorce rates started to increase significantly.  My mother tells me that by that time, although it was still very much a man's world, a woman could support herself, if she were educated.  By the time I started university in the 1980's, when divorce rates had increased even more, women had far more opportunities in the working world, although the working world was still very much tilted toward men.

I don't believe people divorce because one party changes.  Most people don't change significantly, at their core.  I'm not saying it can't happen, just that it's the exception rather than the rule.

Yet, like many good things, and IMO a successful marriage is the highest if all good things, endurance and at times even suffering is required to  achieve longevity and success.

FSU women  .  .  .  are one or the other of the two mainstream religions, that is Christian of some denomination or Muslim, both of which consider marriage as a lifetime commitment.

Most "Christian" FSUW are not devoted Christians.  They are nominal, cultural Christians.  Seven decades of eroding the Church did have an effect.

[japtats]

Who says that my magic only works in the FSU? I have never had any difficulty
finding a woman who wanted to date me in the USA with the exception of the oil
fields of Western North Dakota. Women of all stripes have nearly always clamored
to be with my tall, confident, handsome and charming self.

Women want confidence number one.

Too much waffling, why did you serially date and target women in the FSU? Why were all your trips to FSU? Why weren't women from other countries on these foreign dating websites?

[japtats]

some of us older chaps with the idea many of us couldn't secure the love of a RW without a financial arrangement. That just isn't true.

Sadly the Market for Western women looking for middle age skinny fat guys with a straws in their mouths isn't high, so yes, it is the case. I am not sure why you men are obsessed with ages, sounding a bit bitter.

Why are you there?

Pretty simple, to focus on my business, lift some weights, get some tattoos, and have sex multiple times a day , 7 days a week.

You're in a good position as you have your age and looks working for you

And a lot more than just that

doesn't make them bad or questionable people.

Stop being insecure, of course it doesn't make you, me, and them that. But try be more honest with other peoples intentions. If you want to feel a bit more cool, maybe go buy a cap and wear it at a 65 degree angle. I am not going to play mental Olympics any further with apparent grown boys , because they cannot admit how they play the game..

[I/O]

Most "Christian" FSUW are not devoted Christians.  They are nominal, cultural Christians. Seven decades of eroding the Church did have an effect.

I'm aware and that's not limited to FSUW.

BTW, don't confuse opportunity with freedom. The two are not automatically mutually inclusive.

[Boethius]

I'm aware and that's not limited to FSUW.

BTW, don't confuse opportunity with freedom. The two are not automatically mutually inclusive.

Oops, sorry about that - I modified your post (now restored) rather than quoting.

I'm aware and that's not limited to FSUW.

Certainly.  It is difficult to lead a Christian life.  I fail daily.

BTW, don't confuse opportunity with freedom. The two are not automatically mutually inclusive.

I'm uncertain as to what you're getting at here.

[I/O]

I'm uncertain as to what you're getting at here.

Too many see modern opportunities as freedom. Not always the case.

Best current example is Covid. Opportunities it has created are immense (we've had the best year economically and development wise I've had in a decade) but freedoms have been reduced sharply.

Modern wave of terrorism is another - opportunities in defence, security, IT and a host of others which have flowed are endless but freedom has been reduced.

[2tallbill]

Too much waffling, why did you serially date and target women in the FSU? Why were all your trips to FSU? Why weren't women from other countries on these foreign dating websites?

You are just being argumentative. Enjoy your evening.

Udachi!

Bill

[Faux Pas]

Sadly the Market for Western women looking for middle age skinny fat guys with a straws in their mouths isn't high, so yes, it is the case. I am not sure why you men are obsessed with ages, sounding a bit bitter.

Pretty simple, to focus on my business, lift some weights, get some tattoos, and have sex multiple times a day , 7 days a week.



And a lot more than just that


Stop being insecure, of course it doesn't make you, me, and them that. But try be more honest with other peoples intentions. If you want to feel a bit more cool, maybe go buy a cap and wear it at a 65 degree angle. I am not going to play mental Olympics any further with apparent grown boys , because they cannot admit how they play the game..

You can't have a rational discussion over points you brought up and were questioned on so, you make shit up. I've no idea where you are going with this so I'll just leave it right there