Gal 5 and I have already spent over 60 days together during 3 trips stretching over 18 months. She mid 30 with teenage child. Highly intelligent with prestigious but low paying job. I have written before here about her several months ago and had sent her a Dear Jane letter in early Jan of this year. She had gracefully accepted this terminaton and wished me well, also noting that she would still be happy to meet with me as a friend if I returned for any reason to her city.
But then, just a month of so later, she had sent me a very nice birthday greetings message. I was quite touched because I didn't know for sure that she knew my birthdate and was certainly not thinking that she would send such even if she did know and remember the date.
So I responded and without any plan, we were soon corresponding again on a regular if not frequent basis. A week or so before I was to arrive in Odesa, I invited her to come to me (as they put it) in Odesa. She readily agreed and gave me a list of all possible days she could come, suggesting that she would make multiple trips.
Earlier on these message boards some had suggested that she was quite happy with me on our vacation trips to Turkey and Egypt because who wouldn't be nice to someone who paid their way on such trips.
But, consider this. For this currrent time of mine in Odesa, she is planning to come 5 times (2 are already complete as I write this). On these trips, she takes an overnight train with not perfect sleep. She stays 2-4 days and then takes a night train back with not perfect sleep and goes immediately to her work. Then in 2-3 days, she repeats the whole procedure again. Plus she insists on cooking most meals at my apartment while we are together. Doesn't much sound like someone who is using me for fancy vacations, but I am sure some can put various spins on this.
As I reported months earlier, she and I are about 95% perfectly compatible. She had last year stated that she wished to continue living in her home town and wanted to continue her career. But before my Dear Jane letter (for other reasons) she had suggested she was thinking this over and might be ready to change her mind. (I had not been at all pressing her on this issue.)
My Dear Jane letter to her was primarily based on our vastly different methods of gathering info to make decisions, and passing on this info to the partner in a timely and coherent manner. She was driving me crazy on this point continually. And to top it off, in her job she was highly proficient at doing exactly this. So I could not get around the fact that it was only me that was getting this haphazzard treatment. When I would bring this up to her, she always had excuses about being so busy to gather the data, that things kept changing anyway, and bla bla bla. But this didn't satisfy me in view of fact she always did this perfect for her job.
Now we have spent 6 days together over two trips of hers to Odesa, and the same pattern exists. Together with nothing important to do, we are the perfect couple. Highly compatible in and out of bed. But the other crap still continues. Example: Dear lady, why don't you plan to come on 19 and 20 of May. She: OK, I will check into that and try my best for those dates but maybe there will be some slight changes. Later message from her. OK, I will come to you. Message from me: Come to me when; are you going to arrive morning of 19 and leave night of 20? Message from her. I will arrive on 8:50 train on 19th. Message from me: But when are you going back????? She replies: Of course as we had discussed. Me: going crazy with this which is why I had sent Dear Jane. She: completely oblivious to the problem.
So after her arrival, I point out this problem she keeps causing me with incomplete info. She: OK, but the important thing is that now I am in your arms. Things are so hard to plan in Ukraine, so you must consider this. Me: Yes, but after you actually know, why can't you give me complete info. She: OK, OK, I will.
Next time: Same or similar story.
So why not just drop her again. Because I really enjoy our time together. She says things like: I have never before been so happy in my life as I am when we are together. I want to lie in your arms, hug you, keeees you. With you I feel myself a real woman, I am as in heaven and want it to be like this forever.
