It appears you have not registered with our community. To register please click here ...

!!

Welcome to Russian Women Discussion - the most informative site for all things related to serious long-term relationships and marriage to a partner from the Former Soviet Union countries!

Please register (it's free!) to gain full access to the many features and benefits of the site. Welcome!

+-

Author Topic: What are the odds of success?  (Read 20036 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Jumper

  • Moderator
  • *
  • Posts: 3755
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #25 on: April 25, 2015, 01:54:11 PM »
So this question more so pertains to some of the people who have been there done that.  If you're new like me, what's your take on it all.  I do not post very often, but I try to read as much as I can.  It seems the like idea of pursuing an FSUW is a failing venture with horrible odds of success.  I'd like to dive into why that is. I'm sure most have the best of intentions when seeking an FSUW, so why do have so many more horror stories as opposed to happy endings? (make any kind of pun there). Rookie talking here, but I think some guys don't do enough due diligence.  They fall for the a pretty photo and just simply don't use common sense.  Skype, Viber, Whatsapp all excellent ways to communicate. I know even with all that being said it doesn't gurantee success. I say ask the hard questions, don't interrogate your potential future gf/fiancé/bride, but don't be afraid to find out what you need to know. I know for me, if I want to know something I simply ask.
You seem to have a decnt handle on it.

It comers down to expectations on both sides and due diligence,
 with a bit of luck tossed in .
 Which is exactly the same as domestic relationships?

Add in cultural difference, lack of face face face time,
language issues, the pressures of relocation and culture shock, and its hardly surprising there would be a low success rate?

That said, there are many rationed normal single  FSUW
capable of cross cultural marriage, so I feel as long as a man has his life in reasonable order, has a personality that allows for
 *differences* , and has  reasonable expectations both in a partner,
 and in the amount of time it would take  domestically or internationally to find someone truly compatible,it should be pretty easy.
 :popcorn:
.

Offline Noch1

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 429
  • Country: ca
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #26 on: April 25, 2015, 03:21:12 PM »
Its as easy or as difficult as you make it.
Have your shit together, have the time, the resources and
do the work. Be realistic and you can have success.
I believe this is true of home also.
Difference is IMO, the amount of quality, good looking women, who have it together, with no more BS than local girls, many with a better attitude towards
family and marriage. Which should give you a larger dating pool.

$20,000 k if lucky and thats pursuit, marriage and getting them here.
You better plan for more once they arrive. Upgrade of education,
learning to drive another car and a long list of other things, until she can or will work. If you want cheap, go to walmart looking for your future missus :)
Common sense, Is not so common!

Offline igotlucky

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 12
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: 1 - 3
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #27 on: April 26, 2015, 08:20:57 AM »
Its as easy or as difficult as you make it.
Have your shit together, have the time, the resources and
do the work. Be realistic and you can have success.
I believe this is true of home also.
Difference is IMO, the amount of quality, good looking women, who have it together, with no more BS than local girls, many with a better attitude towards
family and marriage. Which should give you a larger dating pool.

$20,000 k if lucky and thats pursuit, marriage and getting them here.
You better plan for more once they arrive. Upgrade of education,
learning to drive another car and a long list of other things, until she can or will work. If you want cheap, go to walmart looking for your future missus :)

I agree 100%.

In brief my story here.
Started search in Nov 2014. Without  proper research, jumped on to the pay per letter sites. Burned 200 dollars. Soon realized, I was headed the wrong way. Stumbled on this forum and read the various topics diligently. I focused mainly on how to not get scammed. This was very important for me as I consider my time very precious. Life is short. I had given myself 6 months - 1 year to find a FSUW. I had an open mind to get back to the local dating scene, if I could not find my soul mate abroad. I did not take any dating tips from this site or any other  as I believe, love is not a commodity. Wrote mails to around 100-150 within 2-3 months. Exchanged more than a few mails with around 6 of them after weeding out the rest. Narrowed it down to 2. Was impressed with both. I felt both were being truthful, were happy to skype me and I did not see any signs of scam. One of the girls  had an open mind to meet me either in her country or abroad. We met abroad. Spent 10 days and learnt a lot about each other. We are in love and working towards marriage. Only concern for both of us is that the girl is in a very good position in her country (career wise) and she will have to start over in USA. So, I will have to step up and do the needful to lessen the pain for her. Her english is extremely good, by Ukrainian standards. We did not  have any problems communicating during the 10 days.

To sum up, your chances of success mainly depends on you and a little bit of luck.

One more thing, I'm of Indian origin, born in India and living in US now. The consensus on the forum is that my chances are minimal or close to zero. The main reason I'm sharing this info is to emphasize that if you do your home work properly, your odds will be higher.
Your character will determine the odds.
Good luck to all. Thanks to every one  here for sharing their experiences. All the guys/girls  here and the forum deserves a praise.
 :clapping:

Offline ML

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11662
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: > 10
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #28 on: April 26, 2015, 09:33:24 AM »
IGotLucky,

OK, I am happy for you, but more than a bit concerned.

First, what websites did you use for this campaign?

Second, you only met with one gal, so you really have no comparison at all with what other FSUW might be like.

Third, you are moving toward marriage after having spent 10 days of face time.  Sounds like a logical plan.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Online Faux Pas

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10232
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #29 on: April 26, 2015, 09:51:08 AM »
IGotLucky,

OK, I am happy for you, but more than a bit concerned.

First, what websites did you use for this campaign?

Second, you only met with one gal, so you really have no comparison at all with what other FSUW might be like.

Third, you are moving toward marriage after having spent 10 days of face time.  Sounds like a logical plan.
Truth is stranger than fiction. A one week and 3 days wonder.

Igotlucky, I wish you the best of luck. I truly do but, it's way to early in the game to claim any measure of success other than to actually meet a real live woman. I hope everything works out splendidly for you. You've had a 10 day vacation with a Ukrainian woman. Now you're planning marriage?

Offline Larry1

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1772
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #30 on: April 26, 2015, 10:23:28 AM »
Igotlucky, I wish you the best of luck. I truly do but, it's way to early in the game to claim any measure of success other than to actually meet a real live woman.

Faux Pas is correct. It's not terribly difficult to meet a FSUW, hit it off, and spend a great vacation with her. But it's much more difficult to make it through to marriage. And also difficult to have a lasting marriage.

I would say it is as difficult as climbing Mt. Everest.  Without a sherpa guide.  Without oxygen tanks. With one arm tied behind your back. While being chased by a hungry snow leopard.

I exaggerated a little.


Offline jone

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7281
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Committed > 1 year
  • Trips: > 10
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #31 on: April 26, 2015, 10:24:49 AM »
Yes, Larry.

Next time eliminate the snow leopard.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline igotlucky

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 12
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: 1 - 3
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #32 on: April 26, 2015, 10:31:59 AM »
IGotLucky,

OK, I am happy for you, but more than a bit concerned.

First, what websites did you use for this campaign?

Second, you only met with one gal, so you really have no comparison at all with what other FSUW might be like.

Third, you are moving toward marriage after having spent 10 days of face time.  Sounds like a logical plan.

Appreciate your genuine concerns.
I know a lot about my lady and she knows a lot about me. Both of us have objectively discussed all the issues and have taken this decision. After having skyped every day for past 3 months and spent some time together, I'm comfortable with my decision. Everyone will have to respect that. Both of us are young, highly educated, successful in our careers and we clearly know what we want. I will not take any extra effort to convince anyone here.The most important thing is to convince myself, the girl and our families, which we already did. If anyone does not agree, it is not my problem  ;D.
Some people date forever to find the right person. Some people are lucky to find the right person in their first date. Some people are unlucky to get scammed. We will find out which category I'm in. My home work and common sense tells me that I'm heading in the right direction. Dating is not math or chemistry where A+B=C, it is much more than that. So, there is no secret dating formula and no one has figured it out. We all make our best moves, based on our experience, knowledge and common sense. So, guys chill out. Take it easy .

 I do not want to ignore the Gem waiting for me and chase a mirage.
 Remember, I screened around 150 before I chose my girl. So, give me a little respect and be happy for me :P 8).

I take your comment in the right spirit and will be glad to continue to post updates of my own.





Offline jone

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7281
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Committed > 1 year
  • Trips: > 10
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #33 on: April 26, 2015, 10:58:21 AM »
igotlucky,

I read your post.  There is a great disparity between a woman who is scamming and a woman who wants to find her man but for reasons in and out of your control, cannot commit.  The smallest thing can kill an international dating relationship.  If you cannot glean that from what is said here, you have not read this forum to the extent you need to.

We all wish you great success and happiness.  But there are still terrific odds that have to be overcome for a relationship and, ultimately, a marriage to work.

I speak from experience.  I was involved in three relatively normal relationships with FSU women.  None of them panned out.  One was because of religious differences.  One was because she had different values.  The third didn't work out because ..... hell, I still haven't figured out why it didn't work. 

Each of these had thumbs up going into first (and second and third) meetings.

It can be the real deal, yet somehow things just don't work out.

As I said before, we all wish you success.  But the odds are never in your favor.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline igotlucky

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 12
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: 1 - 3
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #34 on: April 26, 2015, 11:01:52 AM »
IGotLucky,

OK, I am happy for you, but more than a bit concerned.

First, what websites did you use for this campaign?

Second, you only met with one gal, so you really have no comparison at all with what other FSUW might be like.

Third, you are moving toward marriage after having spent 10 days of face time.  Sounds like a logical plan.

Here are the sites I tried.

1. freeukrainianwomen
2. luckylovers
3. ukrainedate
4. ukrainebridesagency

Among these freeukrainianwomen was the best, as the admins there did a great job of cleaning the fake profiles. I would recommend it to anyone. I was sending mails/letters on freeukrainianwomen.com and the girl was receiving and sending messages from 7brides.ru. That was strange and not sure if they are owned by the same parent agency....

Luckylovers : Got many people send me letters. But some how , not convincing and most of them were interested in getting my email id so that they can send their pictures and possibly set me up for a scam

ukrainedate : i did not have success here. Many profiles ignored my requests. I believe this is a good sign that they are real profiles and real people. Not many Caucasian women would want to date an Indian. It is the sad truth.  Exchanged many mails with one person and realized that she was setting up me for a scam....she started her story about having trouble paying rent. Cut her off.

ukrainebridesagency : it is a pay per letter site. So, i had to move on
« Last Edit: April 26, 2015, 11:24:57 AM by igotlucky »

Offline igotlucky

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 12
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: 1 - 3
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #35 on: April 26, 2015, 11:05:52 AM »
igotlucky,

I read your post.  There is a great disparity between a woman who is scamming and a woman who wants to find her man but for reasons in and out of your control, cannot commit.  The smallest thing can kill an international dating relationship.  If you cannot glean that from what is said here, you have not read this forum to the extent you need to.

We all wish you great success and happiness.  But there are still terrific odds that have to be overcome for a relationship and, ultimately, a marriage to work.

I speak from experience.  I was involved in three relatively normal relationships with FSU women.  None of them panned out.  One was because of religious differences.  One was because she had different values.  The third didn't work out because ..... hell, I still haven't figured out why it didn't work. 

Each of these had thumbs up going into first (and second and third) meetings.

It can be the real deal, yet somehow things just don't work out.

As I said before, we all wish you success.  But the odds are never in your favor.

I dont claim to have cracked the code of dating FSUW. It is way too early. I can claim a complete success only 20-30 years from now. But it is important to celebrate all the baby steps, while still being pragmatic and rational in our approach.
I have just taken the first step.
Thank you for your wishes.

Offline igotlucky

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 12
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: 1 - 3
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #36 on: April 26, 2015, 11:20:24 AM »
igotlucky,

I read your post.  There is a great disparity between a woman who is scamming and a woman who wants to find her man but for reasons in and out of your control, cannot commit.  The smallest thing can kill an international dating relationship.  If you cannot glean that from what is said here, you have not read this forum to the extent you need to.

We all wish you great success and happiness.  But there are still terrific odds that have to be overcome for a relationship and, ultimately, a marriage to work.

I speak from experience.  I was involved in three relatively normal relationships with FSU women.  None of them panned out.  One was because of religious differences.  One was because she had different values.  The third didn't work out because ..... hell, I still haven't figured out why it didn't work. 

Each of these had thumbs up going into first (and second and third) meetings.

It can be the real deal, yet somehow things just don't work out.

As I said before, we all wish you success.  But the odds are never in your favor.

Yes, you are spot on. We are aware of our cultural differences and are making conscious efforts to respect each others culture. We agreed not to judge each other from our own cultural point of view. The sociology/anthropology classes both of us have taken in college is helping us a little bit. ;)

Offline igotlucky

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 12
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: 1 - 3
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #37 on: April 26, 2015, 01:27:10 PM »
IGotLucky,

OK, I am happy for you, but more than a bit concerned.

First, what websites did you use for this campaign?

Second, you only met with one gal, so you really have no comparison at all with what other FSUW might be like.

Third, you are moving toward marriage after having spent 10 days of face time.  Sounds like a logical plan.

I thought I will share another piece of info, before I get back to work and get busy again.
I also explored going on a tour with one of the agencies. I exchanged emails with with some agencies. They answered all my questions except that they did not want to share the total number of success stories they had. I counted all the success stories they posted on their website and calculated the success rate (my estimate). It was less than 1 percent. The low success could be for any number of reasons, not just the agency. My conclusion was that the tours are not for me. I do not want to mention any names of the agencies, but you can safely assume that all the big ones are included.
« Last Edit: April 26, 2015, 01:31:19 PM by igotlucky »

Offline Chicagoguy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1262
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #38 on: April 26, 2015, 03:25:22 PM »
I have found that the cultural differences are not that great. Russia is more or less like Europe and many have been watching American movies for a long time.

For us it was the language barrier. If you are past that the rest is easier. I want to add that it can be done though it wasn't easy for my wife. She is a real trooper. 6 years now and we are very, very happy.

Offline BillyB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16105
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #39 on: April 26, 2015, 05:09:08 PM »

Notice the bold statements.


If I heard you correctly, if you are loaded you can get any woman in the FSU. Well, duh! If you are loaded, you can get any woman anywhere. Now, if you are talking about economic disparity between western men and FSU ladies, well, that is the principle of this journey for many. Isn't it?



There was sarcasm in my first sentence. But a guy who's loaded can get a woman who's renting herself out anywhere though. But for the ladies who are wanting marriage and a family oriented man, money/financial security won't seal the deal. He's got to have more than that and that is one reason the odds are dismal in this endeavor. If a guy has a hard time attracting the local ladies, he may encounter the same problems attracting ladies overseas. Language barrier can help disguise some of the problems.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline igotlucky

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 12
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: 1 - 3
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #40 on: April 26, 2015, 05:30:52 PM »
I have found that the cultural differences are not that great. Russia is more or less like Europe and many have been watching American movies for a long time.

For us it was the language barrier. If you are past that the rest is easier. I want to add that it can be done though it wasn't easy for my wife. She is a real trooper. 6 years now and we are very, very happy.
Happy to hear from you and thank you for your kind words of encouragement.
Congratulations on your success.

In my case, I was particular that the girl speaks some english. This was based on all the experiences I read on this forum. This might have restricted some of my options, but we can't have it all , right ?

As your  name suggests, do you live in chicago ? I lived in Chicago until recently and moved to the south east.

Offline GregfromGa

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 959
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: > 10
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #41 on: April 26, 2015, 07:52:58 PM »
I remember coming on here years ago blowing my own horn about how lucky I thought I was. To make a long story short as it turns out I didn't know shit. The girl I married, lived with for 7 years and had 2 kids with turned out to be a complete 180 of what I thought I had. I didn't run and hide here when the crap it the fan. My ex remarried and was divorced after a mere 5 months. Looking back I honestly thought I had  married the most caring,humble,innocent, funny, intelligent woman I could ever hope to find. I harbor few regrets because I got two wonderful kids out of an otherwise grease fire of a marriage. I don't give much advice these days on said subject. I've been back over a couple of times the past year and quite frankly  I see the same characteristics that would make me consider castrating myself rather than be married to and go thought another clusterfock again. I have a number of friends that are or have been married to a FSU lady. Most of our stories run parallel. Those stories are not warm and focking fuzzy. Those stories leads us to honestly believe that there is something in the DNA of some of these women that warrants them being to be forcibly incarcerated and studied by  teams of doctors  from Johns Hopkins to study them around the clock. Of course Lily would be excluded from this group. Everyone knows she is a sweetheart.

Offline igotlucky

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 12
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: 1 - 3
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #42 on: April 26, 2015, 08:28:31 PM »
I remember coming on here years ago blowing my own horn about how lucky I thought I was. To make a long story short as it turns out I didn't know shit. The girl I married, lived with for 7 years and had 2 kids with turned out to be a complete 180 of what I thought I had. I didn't run and hide here when the crap it the fan. My ex remarried and was divorced after a mere 5 months. Looking back I honestly thought I had  married the most caring,humble,innocent, funny, intelligent woman I could ever hope to find. I harbor few regrets because I got two wonderful kids out of an otherwise grease fire of a marriage. I don't give much advice these days on said subject. I've been back over a couple of times the past year and quite frankly  I see the same characteristics that would make me consider castrating myself rather than be married to and go thought another clusterfock again. I have a number of friends that are or have been married to a FSU lady. Most of our stories run parallel. Those stories are not warm and focking fuzzy. Those stories leads us to honestly believe that there is something in the DNA of some of these women that warrants them being to be forcibly incarcerated and studied by  teams of doctors  from Johns Hopkins to study them around the clock. Of course Lily would be excluded from this group. Everyone knows she is a sweetheart.

I had a good laugh reading your post. Well written, Sir. I'm not being sarcastic. Sincerely enjoyed reading your post.
There are no guarantees in life and we always try to hope for the best in the future and stay positive. There are good and bad people every where.
 Glad that you are looking at the positive (children) from your relationship.
« Last Edit: April 26, 2015, 08:39:02 PM by igotlucky »

Offline CaptB

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 562
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #43 on: April 27, 2015, 02:07:48 AM »
Hi all. Don't come here very often anymore. In august....Vika and I will be married 12 years. Time flies. I hesitate ......to offer advice here anymore. An awful lot of "advice givers" here who have been here for years.....but have yet to visit the FSU. 5% (+/-) seems a realistic figure. When I joined the original RWG discussion group back in 1998......there were only about 350 members. A tight knit group. Lots of offline phone calls (pre skype). Several of those guys became good friends....and still are. The actual number of guys visiting the FSU (RWG members) was more like 20 - 25%. Most of the trolls were ignored.....and eventually found another board to pester. Tver, Moscow & St. Pete were probably the most popular cities. Many talk about "over-fished" places that should be avoided. I think any place that suits your fancy.....is a good place to visit. Currently Ukraine is very popular. Times are extremely tough there (and dangerous).  My number one rule was...."I was not looking for a possible partner.....to rescue". I did not want that to be the basis for someones attraction to "me". I decided I wanted to find someone who had similar interests, was financially stable (not desperate).....and within a reasonable age difference. I just watched "Love Me" on Netflix tonite. A Foreign Affair (1 1/2 hour) documentary. To watch the clueless guys.....made me cringe. The guy from San Francisco has a shot at longterm success....IMHO. The guy from Texas.....maybe. Some of the other guys would miss red flags.....if they were nailed to their forehead......with a ten penny nail!!!


1) Don't go to the FSU to "rescue" a possible life partner. After getting here.....they may want to find someone to rescue them.......from you. I am not saying you cannot find
    someone......where things are very "tough". I am saying that these places would be better hunting grounds for guys who do not lack active dating lives......and can actually
    see and accept red flags (see "Love Me......for guys who don't have that attribute).


2) Accept that the real reason success stories are are scarcer than they should be......is that only a very small guys ever get on the plane (in other words...."TRY"). You won't
     have success......if you never start. The more guys that "start".......the more success stories you will here about (and failures to.....but that is part of "any" game).


3) Only listen to "newer.....younger guys here"........who offer lots of advice........but never get-off the ground. Us "old guys" are no longer relevant....because we did it "back
     in the dark ages". Geezer advice is no longer relevant......things have changed. Ten years ago some board members said "yes you have been married for two years.....but
      where are those folks who have been married for 10 or more years (alluding to significant longevity). Last year a guy here said "yes you have been (successfully) for 11
      years.......but I am now out of touch.......my advice is from a long time ago. I did not relish being 40 and restarting my dating life after divorce. Because I actually
      "learned something" from my divorce......my dating life was full (here in the US).....and virtually devoid of psychos, scammers, baggage enthusiast....etc. Lots of nice
      women.....just did't meet........."the one". If I had to be thrown back into the dating market "today"........I would do just fine.


4) Skype, phone........and yes......do something different. Actually "write" a few letters.....to stand out from the crowd. If there are excuses for not being in regular contact.......
     move-on........she is not as interested in you.....as you are......in her. Attraction "must" be mutual......and at similar intensity.


5) If you visit......visit her in her own town. You will see how her family, friends & co-workers........regard her. Save a vacation for a second trip when and if......you hit-it off.
     This way you avoid those seeking........."a free vacation".


6) Read, accept & understand the 10 commandments (of FSU dating). They apply to "all" in this endeaver. There are always exceptions....but they are rare.


7) If you are worried and afraid.......of most things........stay home. Take that money for your first trip ($5,000 minimum) and spend it visiting women here in the states.
     Besides........your will more than likely spend $10,000........$20,000......$30,000......and more on your FSU quest. But for the right person.....the reward can be great. As
     for myself......I have a great wife.......nice relatives.....and a second country I am at home in (russia). My experience was a blast....the highs.......and the lows.

The odds are really up to you. Your willingness to learn......or not learn. Visit.....or not visit. See.....and accept red flags.......or not see. The ability to cut your losses.....if the time comes.




Capt B




 

« Last Edit: April 27, 2015, 02:13:52 AM by CaptB »
"A Yooper in Moscovia"

Offline RoboCop

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 124
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Azerbaijan
  • Status: Married 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #44 on: April 27, 2015, 06:45:59 AM »
Interesting read. Perhaps this shows my naivety on the issue, but I guess I was one of the "lucky ones" who got on a plane, met 3 different women, and ended up connecting with one of them.

I spoke with my wife about the guys who contacted her on EE before we met, and she said most of them were old, obese, unattractive and looked like losers, to put it simply.

I am now inclined to believe a lot of the guys searching for an FSU spouse, see it as the land of milk and honey, believing the women will overlook their physical and psychological flaws, because they'll be their knight in shinning armor rescuing them from the perils of poverty.

Some men have a "savior complex" and think living in a wealthier country is enough to woo the women of their dreams. They forget that the spectrum of human emotions women experience in the west, also exist among women in the FSU. So if you are overweight, ugly and unattractive back home, chances are you'll be looked upon the same way in the FSU.

My advice would be to not go for a girl way out of your league. Ask yourself if you actually brought her back to your home country, do you think she'll be tempted by other men she sees walking down the street? Would the average person seeing you both walk by holding hands, say that their is a massive disparity between the two of you and you're punching above your league, or you're committing a form of economic exploitation?

The other thing not emphasized is money and time. Some people have said you need at least 20k to make it work; well, it costed me close to 30k! 4 trips all up to Azerbaijan--3 weeks, 4 weeks, 5 weeks and 2 weeks respectively--including the cost of accommodation, food and entertainment--included in all this was visa processing costs as well. I don't think you need all that money at once in the bank before the trip, but you have to have the earning capacity to raise that much capital throughout the courtship period. I'm lucky I get paid a bit better than most, and have a boss that's very understanding and lenient.

I think the endeavor of finding a FSU wife is difficult for most men, because they are losers back home. I get the impression 90% of guys going on this venture are desperadoes in the truest sense of the word.
Married 3 years now, with a 2 year old son. Wife is from Baku, the capital of Azerbaijan.

Offline Chicagoguy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1262
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #45 on: April 27, 2015, 06:49:43 AM »
Robocop - Well Said

Online 2tallbill

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12413
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Living the dream
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #46 on: April 27, 2015, 07:20:46 AM »
Faux Pas is correct. It's not terribly difficult to meet a FSUW, hit it off, and spend a great vacation with her. But it's much more difficult to make it through to marriage. And also difficult to have a lasting marriage.

I would say it is as difficult as climbing Mt. Everest.  Without a sherpa guide.  Without oxygen tanks. With one arm tied behind your back. While being chased by a hungry snow leopard.

I exaggerated a little.

What no blindfold? the next thing you will tell me is that you would
wear boots and socks too.

Keeping the Wheels On

80% plus of the threads are written about how to:

1. How to find a good girl or
2. How to avoid a scam 

However after you find a good girl who is a good match now you really have
your work cut out for you. You have to keep the relationship together while
you get to know each other better and later while waiting on the government
paperwork and you have to do this thousands of miles away in radically
different time zones.


1. BE ATTENTIVE !

Call her, send her sms's in English and in Russian. Carry your camera around with
you and snap a photo of everything and anything that you think is beautiful, funny
or interesting then send it to her. Do not let another beautiful sunset get wasted
again!! snap a photo and send it to her with a letter telling her how much you like
the smell of her hair.

Write letters to her when she is asleep that she will read when she wakes up.
Did you think that the letter writing was done as soon as you got off the plane?

2. PLAN YOUR NEXT VISIT

Set the date if possible before you even leave.
Planning the next trip makes the whole thing seem more real and less ambiguous the
last thing on Earth you want to do is to be ambiguous. You want to be a man of action
who is going to fly to see her in three months and toes will be curled, dances will be
danced, museums will be toured and great fun, romance and excitement will be had
by all. 

3. Talk to her extensively about the future

She wants to know that you are part of her future and that you are concerned
about her and your future together. Cover all the bases again and again. Does
she have a child(ren) talk about them, where will they be educated, what opportunities
will they have etc.

4. Invest in the future with her

Does she need English lessons? get them
Does she need driving lessons? get them
Does she need to renew her passport? do it
Does she know about visa journey? get her up to speed
Does she have a degree? get her diploma translated, apistled, verified and whatever
else you can do to it.
Does she have a child? where is the father? will he protest? will there be issues?
talk to her about them.
BUT all this costs money !! send it! work two jobs and eat nothing but lettuce
if necessary but send it and get all this stuff paid for. Don't come across as greedy or
the wheels will go flying off and there will be no passing go and no collecting a beautiful FSUW.

If you do these things she will see what a competent, attentive and interesting husband
you would be. Any girl would love to have a husband take so much interest in her and her
future. Maybe she will even grow fond of your balding head someday 


FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline jone

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7281
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Committed > 1 year
  • Trips: > 10
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #47 on: April 27, 2015, 07:36:14 AM »
Bill, Robocop,

I think you're on to something here.  Perhaps I should take your advice?



Nah, it would interfere with my wildly successful life selling shoes.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Online 2tallbill

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12413
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Living the dream
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #48 on: April 27, 2015, 07:43:42 AM »
I think the endeavor of finding a FSU wife is difficult for most men, because they are losers back home. I get the impression 90% of guys going on this venture are desperadoes in the truest sense of the word.

With only 5% who actually get on a plane that puts the vast majority of men squarely
in the loser category. I think that the small percentage who actually get on a plane are
closer to 40-60 winner/loser based on my nonscientific, purely anecdotal, scientific wild
@ss guess.

According to Elena of Elena's models while giving advice to Russian women in Russian
language says

quote
"Virtually all men who come to marriage agencies, are experiencing some difficulty in communicating with the opposite sex (this does not mean he has mental defects, just
that these men are more shy)" 
unquote

Elena doesn't pull a lot of punches, her web advice for women written in Russian

101 things you can do to attract and marry a Western Man.
http://www.zamuzh.com/book/index.htm
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12413
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Living the dream
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
What are the odds of success?
« Reply #49 on: April 27, 2015, 07:46:41 AM »
Bill, Robocop,

I think you're on to something here.  Perhaps I should take your advice?



Nah, it would interfere with my wildly successful life selling shoes.

Also Al is married (with children) probably comprises only 30% of the
Keyboard Romeos

Peg Bundy
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

 

+-RWD Stats

Members
Total Members: 8883
Latest: Leroy14
New This Month: 1
New This Week: 0
New Today: 0
Stats
Total Posts: 541004
Total Topics: 20849
Most Online Today: 2013
Most Online Ever: 12701
(January 14, 2020, 07:04:55 AM)
Users Online
Members: 11
Guests: 1881
Total: 1892

+-Recent Posts

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by krimster2
Today at 11:16:08 AM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by ML
Today at 10:31:43 AM

Re: What to do by krimster2
Today at 09:47:10 AM

What to do by 2tallbill
Today at 09:37:41 AM

Re: If you don't know what you are talking about, post away anyway by 2tallbill
Today at 09:18:17 AM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by krimster2
Today at 07:00:25 AM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by Brillynt
Today at 06:16:36 AM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by krimster2
Yesterday at 09:20:42 PM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by Infoman
Yesterday at 09:12:54 PM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by krimster2
Yesterday at 09:02:12 PM

Powered by EzPortal

create account