Are you man enough for a RW?

[Turboguy]

With VWRW still on a learners permit if she goes shopping I am there too, unless I do a drop and pickup which we do some.   I can enjoy wandering around the mall and bookstores and electronics stores are two of my favorites.  The sporting goods store may appeal to some and I can spend some time in the men's dept.

[Turboguy]

VWRW and I talked about it last night and I just asked again.  She doesn't think that there is any particular type that should not be doing it.  Women are very different and each has her own preference. 

[viking]

It does not matter if an AW or RW. Drop off at mall and meet me back at Home Depot, Lowes, Best Buy, or any place with a tool section or HDTVs. Sometimes I think I would rather look at 3 types of dirt for my garden then hit a mall.

[Ronnie]

The man should be the initiator.  Who says?  Where does that idea come from?  Interesting that a woman would think a man should be denied that treat.

[Ronnie]

VWRW and I talked about it last night and I just asked again.  She doesn't think that there is any particular type that should not be doing it.  Women are very different and each has her own preference. 

I tend to think there is truth in that comment.  But not being an RW or W of any kind or even someone who could speak for them, how could we not agree?  Certainly we have seen with our own eyes a wide variety of men who are successful with their RW/WM marriages.

I also want to take exception to an item on the list concening a man's income and savings.  There are some who have savings or investments due to inheritance and/or works in the family business that he did nothing to build.  Does that make him a man?  Desirable maybe to some women, but a man? 

Many great men, even famously great men, have ended up at, or near poverty at death. Were these not men enough for any woman?

The fire of adversity tempers a marriage and welds the joint.  Without facing and overcoming adversity together, a marriage remains still loosely bound.

A real man has the confidence and the grit to try and fail and bounce right back.  His wife should be of the same character - if not, she cannot be considered his proper companion.

[KenC]

Ronnie,
Lena was sitting here when I read your post so I asked her what kind of man should not go to Russia to look for a woman?

Her answer is; "Men that go to Russia to solve their problems with women."
Outa the mouths of babes.
KenC

[Lily]

I'd be interested in what some of the other ladies think about this.

vwrw, mischief, pitbull, Lily?

What kind of men have you come across that you feel should have not attempted to find a FSUW?

Any similar traits?

Things about them that made you wonder what was wrong with them?

Catzenmouse, typization of people might be a funny thing to read, but I don't think I ever tried to figure a certain kind of men with some common traits. The WM that I came across are different and individual. Probably every WM deserves a woman, not just a FSUW, but just a woman. Many of them, unfortunately, will live their lifes alone, as I could not figure out a woman who could be attracted to them.

However, there is probably one trait that could be wrong with some of them - some are just not interesting people to be with. But it is not about looking for FSUW, it is for looking for a woman generally, irrespective of nationality. FSUW are just not that special kind of female creatures, in the essence. Laws of attractivity are universal.

[Ronnie]

Ronnie,
Lena was sitting here when I read your post so I asked her what kind of man should not go to Russia to look for a woman?

Her answer is; "Men that go to Russia to solve their problems with women."
Outa the mouths of babes.
KenC

I'm not sure exactly what Lena meant but I assume she's saying if you didn't like AW you won't find an answer with RW?  If so, who could not agree?  I think it should be obvious that RW are at least as but probably more difficult to deal with.  None of the agency hype is really accurate. 

But, if the man's problem is not being a able to find the most compatible partner, then there's no reason that problem can't be solved through an international search.  In which case Lena would not be 100 per cent correct, right?  (Sorry Lena  )

I don't think that most men look abroad for a wife for any different reasons than do women.  It insults us all to promote the notion that international marriages are born of desperation or anti-social personalities.

[KenC]

Ronnie,
I know she meant that if you have problems with developing a relationship with women, don't go to Russia to solve them.
KenC

[TwoBitBandit]

She didn't want to do it.  Wanted instead to replay the previous day.  Now, I'm pretty a understanding guy and don't want to unduly impose demands on other people's time and energy, but at the same time I expect others to be at least as considerate.  After a very short discussion I finally just said, "when and where do you want to meet?"  We were standing on the sidewalk at the time and she just snarled, "Ne Znayu!", whirled around and walked off.  In the 90 seconds or so that it took for her to disappear from view, I debated what the future with this woman would be like if I followed her. 

I determined to not go there. Instead, I returned to my apartment and made arrangements to leave for Dnepropetrovsk.  The lady doctor called me repeatly over the next 24 hours, and I'll be honest, had she apologized or even suggested she maybe shouldn't have behaved the way she did, she might have become my wife.  But, she didn't.  And I've net regretted for a second having stuck with my decision to not put up with stuff I knew would only be the tip of a destructive iceberg.

Kudos to you.

One of the easiest mistakes in this endeavor is not to fold when it's time to fold.  Ya gotta know when to fold 'em.

[Ronnie]

One of the easiest mistakes in this endeavor is not to fold when it's time to fold.  Ya gotta know when to fold 'em.

Moose make good analogiya! 

Maybe now he pull rabbit out of hat!

[Jumper]

Nastya,
glad i passed

and i was taking the test tongue and cheek,,
so don't take all of my answers completely literally..lol


sorry for the off-topic,,
but i do have a question for you?
 in your thoughts- why is it that RW (i dislike generalities,,but this one seems accurate)
have a difficult  time genuinely raising a child that isnt thiers?
they often  seem to have some inner conflict..about this issue.
Even if they really care for the the child.

Western men are very good at this in *general*..
(for example my father was ...with my step-brother)




lily said

some are just not interesting people to be with. But it is not about looking for FSUW, it is for looking for a woman generally, irrespective of nationality. FSUW are just not that special kind of female creatures, in the essence. Laws of attractivity are universal.

lily..
thats funny, years ago on these boards i used to often  tell men *asking how's*,
 that the very best way to attract a RW, was to simply be an interesting man..in"general"
because if he was ,,then he would be somewhat in demand locally.,and certainly so in the FSU.i suggested taking up various interests or hobbies,,,joining what clubs interested them,study something interesting,, etc etc..
 anything to get the butt off the couch and do some self development spiritually, physically, mentally ,etc.

my basic advice was, to forget all the
"RW like this  " or "RW are like that"
if they really wanted the quickest and most effective way to improve your chances with RW ( actually any woman , as RW wernt from another planet afterall;) )
to improve yourself, into someone that would generally be considered "interesting" to anyone. It might not be the easiet way,,but the most likely to succeed..

it was kind of ironic advise actually!!
because in the US,, i was in a position/job that many AW found me quite *interesting*,
soley by my background and profession, before ever finding out anything personality or character wise. Yet i traveled to the FSU,, where not  a single RW would have any clue,
and not really  care , about any of the stuff i did, that would easily draw interest here.LOL
so i was on my own, simply character ,personality..
 and eshwed my own advice to be more  "interesting"person, by leaving a location or region, i could somewhat easily capatilize on it.
There are times ,i have done some really silly things..lol





 

[Jet]

Ronnie,
I know she meant that if you have problems with developing a relationship with women, don't go to Russia to solve them.
KenC

Every time I see someone post "I'm done with AW, they're all ________" I think to myself Hey buddy, did you ever consider the possibility that it ain't all the AW and maybe instead it's you? In that light, I completely agree with Lena. If a man can't take ownership of his shortcomings and would rather project them onto others, a change of geography isn't going to do anything to help him, or the women he meets.

[Jet]

I also want to take exception to an item on the list concening a man's income and savings.  There are some who have savings or investments due to inheritance and/or works in the family business that he did nothing to build.  Does that make him a man?  Desirable maybe to some women, but a man? 

Many great men, even famously great men, have ended up at, or near poverty at death. Were these not men enough for any woman?

The fire of adversity tempers a marriage and welds the joint.  Without facing and overcoming adversity together, a marriage remains still loosely bound.

A real man has the confidence and the grit to try and fail and bounce right back.  His wife should be of the same character - if not, she cannot be considered his proper companion.

I took this point a little differently. ie: one should be able to be financially responsible. And I do think this is an important point, I have seen several occasions where this played out very very badly. Guys who got caught up in the adventure and didn't really research the ongoing post-engagement costs involved. This is totally different from "the fire of adversity" you spoke of, and IMHO is more akin to reckless endangerment because they didn't have the self discipline to get their own lives in order before forging ahead and destroying someone else's.

[catzenmouse]

Every time I see someone post "I'm done with AW, they're all ________" I think to myself Hey buddy, did you ever consider the possibility that it ain't all the AW and maybe instead it's you? In that light, I completely agree with Lena. If a man can't take ownership of his shortcomings and would rather project them onto others, a change of geography isn't going to do anything to help him, or the women he meets.

Good point! Anyone who is considering this better turn their eyes and thoughts inward and take care of any outstanding baggage.

A geographical fix does not work for any of the problems in a person's life be it job, money, friends, or relationships. The problem will always be right there wherever they are.

[vwrw]

Every time I see someone post "I'm done with AW, they're all ________" I think to myself Hey buddy, did you ever consider the possibility that it ain't all the AW and maybe instead it's you? In that light, I completely agree with Lena. If a man can't take ownership of his shortcomings and would rather project them onto others, a change of geography isn't going to do anything to help him, or the women he meets.

Jet, I agree with your post.

What do you think about a guy who says -“I am ready to travel a half of world to avoid communication with AW and the crap they can say about my personality.”?

Does he project his shortcomings onto others? Would the change of geography help him?

[Bob Smith]

What do you think about a guy who says -“I am ready to travel a half of world to avoid communication with AW and the crap they can say about my personality.”?

vwrw,

I've never been to the FSU, but as someone who has "traveled half the world" and dated women from 4 different continents I can honestly say if your personality sucks in America it most likely sucks in most of the rest of the known world... Pardon my French.

This thread has some of the most reasonable statements I've seen on the web regarding WM/RW relationships.  Ronnie and some of the other people honestly sound like sane educated people.  The Web is replete with with AM men swearing that all AW are terrible spouses and that RW are a million times better.  Again I've never been to the FSU, but I've been to places like South America and sub Saharan Africa.  I've seen some bright spots in regards to wife material, but I've also seen some problems.  I've never been anywhere that is a quick fix for someone with a terrible personality.  Maybe there's something in the water in the FSU that would debunk my theory... Although I doubt it.

[Bob Smith]

Catzenmouse, typization of people might be a funny thing to read, but I don't think I ever tried to figure a certain kind of men with some common traits. The WM that I came across are different and individual. Probably every WM deserves a woman, not just a FSUW, but just a woman. Many of them, unfortunately, will live their lifes alone, as I could not figure out a woman who could be attracted to them.

However, there is probably one trait that could be wrong with some of them - some are just not interesting people to be with. But it is not about looking for FSUW, it is for looking for a woman generally, irrespective of nationality. FSUW are just not that special kind of female creatures, in the essence. Laws of attractivity are universal.

Lily,

I agree with your statement 100%.  I was comparing the services of a number of agencies and at one of them they showed me a database of profiles that they use to market WM to RW.  A lot of what I saw was atrocious.  Frankly I felt like calling up the US State Department and asking them to regulate what AM could put up on websites frequented by foreigners.  It was the sort of reaction I had when I saw the Jerry Springer Show on television in Western Europe.  I was mortified that Americans were exporting that kind of garbage to foreign markets.  Foreigners just sat around and laughed themselves to tears as we made complete fools of ourselves.

On one site I saw numerous web cam images used as profile pictures.  I mean if you saw the beautiful studio portraits of the women on the site and compared it with the terrible garbage the AM toss up on the web you would be hard pressed to tell who came from a vibrant free market economy and who came from an emerging market dealing with the hangover of years of communist rule.  Numerous AM used web cam images, took pictures in Tshirts and/or shorts, were out of shape, were just flat out old (and looking for 20 somethings), etc. etc.

...disastrous behavior that doesn't work anywhere.  AW don't go for it, and I have no reason to think any self respecting RW would go for it either... now scam artists... maybe.

[mspanky]

On one site I saw numerous web cam images used as profile pictures.  I mean if you saw the beautiful studio portraits of the women on the site and compared it with the terrible garbage the AM toss up on the web you would be hard pressed to tell who came from a vibrant free market economy and who came from an emerging market dealing with the hangover of years of communist rule.  Numerous AM used web cam images, took pictures in Tshirts and/or shorts, were out of shape, were just flat out old (and looking for 20 somethings), etc. etc.

...disastrous behavior that doesn't work anywhere.  AW don't go for it, and I have no reason to think any self respecting RW would go for it either... now scam artists... maybe.
[/quote]


  the irony is
 those are the exact same type of guys who complain about AW being too old,too out of shape,too boring or don't know how to dress.

 Normal RW must laugh their asses off when they read and look at some of these profiles. Or the scammers think what easy bait they are getting as these guys are dellusional but also feel entitled. I wonder how many women really tell these guys the brutal truth?

[vwrw]

On one hand I agree with Lily, Jet, Bob and others who assert that man, who receives a low evaluation or who American women find to be not desirable, will not be in great demand in FSU.   On the other hand there is example on this forum (you can see it below in blue color) where a man who received the low evaluation of AW traveled in FSU and found a woman there who agreed to marry him and with whom he created a successful marriage (from his words).  So, may anyone succeed or only the ones who are successful in American dating? 

Reasons that anyone, who can afford traveling, may have success could be the following:

1.   Not all FSU women are beauty queens.  Some of them are fat.  Some of them are ugly.  Some of them are stupid.   However, they still want to love and be loved and they might close their eyes on many men’s shortcomings.

2.   Some FSU women so desperately want a better life for themselves or for their children that they will close their eyes on many shortcomings of men who are ready to provide the better life for them


3.   Some women are so afraid of loneliness in old age that they are ready to live with “semi-man” rather than to live alone.   I think there are a lot of reasons why an FSU woman could marry a not manly enough man.


It is funny that KenC started this thread about RW not being for everyone. I think he could be an example to prove otherwise/contrary. Here are some parts of the discussion a while back between my Turbo and KenC. 

Turbo: I have a feeling if we were able to get a couple of American woman to come here and tell FSU women what they should know about AM it would create the biggest controversy yet.

From KenC: Have you completely fallen off your rocker?  Just what I want, an AW telling me what is wrong with me!!  I traveled to the other side of the world to avoid that crap and you wanna invite them here?     

[LiveFromUkraine]

It is funny that KenC started this thread about RW not being for everyone. I think he could be an example to prove otherwise. Here are some parts of the discussion a while back between my Turbo and KenC. 

Turbo: I have a feeling if we were able to get a couple of American woman to come here and tell FSU women what they should know about AM it would create the biggest controversy yet.

From KenC: Have you completely fallen off your rocker?  Just what I want, an AW telling me what is wrong with me!!  I traveled to the other side of the world to avoid that crap and you wanna invite them here?     

I fail to see the point.   ???


My wife tells me what is wrong with me all the time.  She says it is because she is my friend and only friends tell the truth.  I told her I don't want to be friends anymore. 



Thomas

[Gator]

I will skip over the part about "social retards" expecting to find happiness with RW.  It will not happen. 

What do I like about RW that another man may not like?  RW are direct.  I love that feature about them because I do not have to keep guessing nor dance around an issue nor walk on eggshells, etc.  They expect the man to take the lead; however, if I take the wrong step they do not withdraw and sulk.  Most will speak their mind almost immediately.  It probably will not be sugar coated, yet you will know exactly what she wants.   

RW are not compliant and can be dogmatic.   Many men may have trouble with this.  Frankly, I find this trait acceptable. It creates some interesting if not fascinating moments - life with them is not boring.  They are intelligent, pragmatic people, and a man just needs to keep going even if he becomes frustrated.  A RW needs a lot of convincing, usually by action and not words.   

Blues Fairy listed some tips on living with a RW:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=7581.0

Any man who finds her tips as difficult is not ready for a RW because her tips are not that difficult in my opinion. 

[Turboguy]

I will skip over the part about "social retards" expecting to find happiness with RW.  It will not happen. 

Personally I tend to agree with VWRW that "social retards" also have a chance to find happiness.   I am not sure how we would define "social retards" or how common they are in this search.   Is someone who is shy or quiet a social retard?   I have seen some shy and quiet types have good success.   Is someone who tries too hard to please his mate a social retard?   I see lots of those who have had some degree of success but I think that falls in the category that he is a risk of being walked all over and not that he can not succeed.   Is someone mean and nasty a social retard?   Those are more likely the ones who we call bad boys that have gals throwing themselves at them right and left.  Heck they probably don't need to go to the FSU for a hot women.  Personally I can't think of any kind of social retard that could not have a chance of success. 

[mspanky]

Social retard

  A man who would rather sit home and watch tv than have a conversation. When conversing will only reply to answers. will not initiate conversation or elaborate wh`en giving answers. many people with Aspberger syndrome will be that way. Can be considered boring and the person dealing with them feels alone.

  drug abuser or drinker. Can be considered a social retard as he needs those enablers to deal with others.

 Men who talk with their "buddies" but can't talk to a woman.

  Men who act as though they have never been with a woman, Groping her or trying to get too close too quick. usually not smooth.

  Men who have bad hygiene  ,dress and manners and cannot figure it out since he is out of the loop in the proper way to behave.

  Sat in the middle of 2 guys on a plane once. One stank worse than the other and I had to look straight ahead for 5 hour flight. It was torture. can that be considered socially retarded? I can imagine how difficult these types must be for a woman to be intimate with.

  feel free to add more.
 

[KenC]

On one hand I agree with Lily, Jet, Bob and others who assert that man, who receives a low evaluation or who American women find to be not desirable, will not be in great demand in FSU.   On the other hand there is example on this forum (you can see it below in blue color) where a man who received the low evaluation of AW traveled in FSU and found a woman there who agreed to marry him and with whom he created a successful marriage (from his words).  So, may anyone succeed or only the ones who are successful in American dating? 

Reasons that anyone, who can afford traveling, may have success could be the following:

1.   Not all FSU women are beauty queens.  Some of them are fat.  Some of them are ugly.  Some of them are stupid.   However, they still want to love and be loved and they might close their eyes on many men’s shortcomings.

2.   Some FSU women so desperately want a better life for themselves or for their children that they will close their eyes on many shortcomings of men who are ready to provide the better life for them


3.   Some women are so afraid of loneliness in old age that they are ready to live with “semi-man” rather than to live alone.   I think there are a lot of reasons why an FSU woman could marry a not manly enough man.


It is funny that KenC started this thread about RW not being for everyone. I think he could be an example to prove otherwise/contrary. Here are some parts of the discussion a while back between my Turbo and KenC. 

Turbo: I have a feeling if we were able to get a couple of American woman to come here and tell FSU women what they should know about AM it would create the biggest controversy yet.

From KenC: Have you completely fallen off your rocker?  Just what I want, an AW telling me what is wrong with me!!  I traveled to the other side of the world to avoid that crap and you wanna invite them here?     

VWRW,
The problem with quoting things out of context, is that you cannot judge the mood of the conversation.  Fortunately the author (me) is here to set the record straight.  My reply to Turbo was made in total jest.  (Note the 3 smiley faces?)  I never had a problem dating AW and I always had a full dance card.  I didn't seek a RW because I was not having success with AW in any way.  In fact, I really never had any idea that RW were any different than AW until after I had met Lena (as substantiated in my T/R)  Any comparasons of the differences between AW and RW made by me have been in 20/20 hindsight and through observations after I developed my relationship with Lena.
KenC