Hey, I'm Guido the killer sex tourist.

[Daveman]

Hey everybody,
I'm new here.. again..

 So, I found myself in a very fortunate, even downright lucky, situation! I've met the girl of my dreams! And dig this.. I don't even have to travel to meet her! I just sent her a couple thousand bucks to get her a visa at the airport!  We met on a hot cam girl site. It was very romantic. She was flippin' her boobs at me as I was drooling into a napkin. I knew instantly she is the one. I really worked the situation perfectly -- she mentioned in passing that her grandma is very ill and needed special treatment so I surprised her with a transfer of $10,000. She was so elated, she professed her love forever because no one has ever shown his love for her like I have.  She should arrive any day now.  We're gonna be married at my cousin Clint's Chapel & Feed Station right after she arrives.

Real life is perhaps not so glamorous. I divorced in 2017.  I wish I had a sordid mesmerizing tale to tell, but the truth is, I don't remember much of anything between early 2014 and late 2016.  I have some flashes but some of those are false memories most likely from a dream. I guess it could be a sordid tale of oxycodone dependency.  It all began six months before she arrived in June of 2012. I had a pretty wild knee injury and began on percocets. Had two surgeries prior to her arrival and went from percs to straight oxy.  Then tapered down a bit and back to percs. The knee simply wasn't right and more surgeries came.. and more oxy..and more oxy.. followed by juuuuust a bit more oxy -- then a knee replacement in 2014 which didn't go quite as well as it should have so a few more procedures were involved and, you guessed it, more oxy.  Anyway, toward the end there I was on overdose levels -- which would have been an instant overdose had I taken that amount in the beginning.  I made the decision to get off of it in 2016 and weened down a little and then went cold turkey. I DO remember parts of that. It was quite an experience.

But what about the relationship? What went wrong? why did it end?

Well, I'm not sure.  I do know that when I 'woke up' I was living with someone I cared about, but something was seriously missing -- which was probably me for about 4 years or so.  We both knew we had to move on.  Apparently I helped her get set up in her business, worked with her daily on English and writing, etc. -- and I remember none of it except for one single sentence I cam up with to help her with pronouncing the American 'th' sound - "There are a thousand more of those than there are of these." I remember that one sentence of what was, according to her, hundreds of hours of practice.  We are still very close and later this year if we citizens of the world don't get hit with with another lock down, I'll be heading to Kiev to visit.. dig this... the Maid of Honor from our wedding. She set us up. I guess I must not have been too terrible of a 'drunk' for her to still fix me up with one of her best friends ever (of course the 10 grand for grandma didn't hurt either... heh).



SO -- that's the nutshell.  How the hell are you guys?

[tfcrew]

I'm new here.. again.

 SO -- that's the nutshell.  How the hell are you guys?
 

Read a few of the posts.
 You're not new.
You're just recycled 
 

[BC]

Doing fine here, coming up on 20 years together, 19 of 'em married, kids all grown up.

Really great that you got off the Oxy, the vast majority don't.

Enjoy your new life

Cheers!

Your story reminds me of a hung-over military guy working on the bombing ranges outside Las Vegas clearing duds.  Radio guy calls him over and says he has a call from his wife.  He says he ain't married.  Radio guy relays the reply and comes back with, "Seems you are now. You got married last night.  She has the papers."

[Faux Pas]

Good to see and hear about you Dave! I've often wondered what became of you. Sorry for the misfortunes but good to hear you have them behind you.

  Back

[ML]

Hey Daveman, good to see you back.
You were one of my favorite posters way back when . . . I think . . . but it's too hard for me to think back that far.

I checked and you were last here back in 2014.

I understand how you went missing from then until you got divorced and kicked the Oxy habit.

But that happened in 2016 or 2017.

So what explains why you were missing here from 2017-June 2021?

Anyway, great story about to happen where you got to meet the Maid of Honor.

Keep us up to date on that event.

By the way . . . I have had a lot of injuries and operations in past 15 years or so, and was on Oxy each time.  But I never got hooked on Oxy or any other pain killer.  So I never quite understood what causes the addiction.  I even have 20 or so Oxy's left from my last episode of 9 broken ribs and broken clavicle.  I take one maybe once a month or so after I have worked outside and feel terrible pain in my back . . . but that's it.

[2tallbill]

Hey everybody,
I'm new here.. again..

SO -- that's the nutshell.  How the hell are you guys?

Welcome back!

[Boethius]

I am sorry things didn't work out for you and the ex Mrs. Dave.

[Daveman]

Thanks everyone!

Ehhhh, the past is the past. I attribute my long absence to FSU burnout.  It was slightly stressful being unable to remember such a long swath of time, but I doubt I accomplished anything remotely memorable during that time anyway thus returning my happy-go-lucky attitude quickly enough.

On to a brighter topic..

Check out the action sequence below... The little blonde on the left awaiting the Former Mrs. Daveman (henceforth referred to as FMD) to initiate the Bouquet Launch Sequence (henceforth referred to as BLS) 

[Daveman]

..then as you can almost but not quite see, The Agile Natural Young Athlete (henceforth referred to as Tanya) follows the BLS from FMD by scattering her competition out of the Bouquet Success Path (BSP) with a massive dive to her left (screen right)..

And rises with her prize

[ML]

Daveman, we have seen referred to here the situation wherein a FSUW is 'past her shelf life' and is passed around by FSUM.

Can it be true that you are going to be 'passed around' by FSUW ?? !! :-)

[BillyB]

Welcome back Daveman!!!!!! Life doesn't always work out the way we want but got to move forward and enjoy the ride.

Hey Daveman, good to see you back.
You were one of my favorite posters way back when . . .

He was not only one of my favorite posters, he was my favorite moderator in a non sexual way of course.

[2tallbill]

Can it be true that you are going to be 'passed around' by FSUW ?? !! :-)

All he has to look forward to is life as a boy-toy?

[Daveman]

Followed by a Truly Hilarious Victory Dance (THVD)

[Daveman]

There's an ancient unknown Slavic tradition that when a woman dives for the bouquet, and comes up with it, she must be the next to marry the groom.  We'll see about that part, but I've learned not to question their traditions too deeply.

Tanya is hilarious. I spent two days with her in her flat in Kiev prior to heading out to Donetsk for the wedding. She took me to all the government offices, waited in line with me, made fun of the bureaucrats not doing their work with me, etc., while finalizing wedding paperwork.  So, that qualifies her as for Two Day Wonder Status.

We've been in communication for while now.  Life has strange paths for sure. *IF* this does work out, and I'm not saying it will or won't.. this would make a pretty good story of.. perhaps serendipity.

She's a woman I've met in person, the attraction is mutual, we had a blast together a decade ago, and have a blast communicating now, but that's all it is or can be for now.  I just want to have fun, hang out with her, and enjoy moments as they come. F*ck marriage, f*ck relationships.. just be fully in the moments and the rest will do what it does naturally when it does it naturally.

[Daveman]

Daveman, we have seen referred to here the situation wherein a FSUW is 'past her shelf life' and is passed around by FSUM.

Can it be true that you are going to be 'passed around' by FSUW ?? !! :-)

hah! That's my surreptitious retirement plan.  And to sell simichki on the corner.

ETA:

But none of my antics can compare to 2tallbill's being passed around by entire groups of hysterical slavic women...  I'll never forget that invasion into the forum... all of them wanting a piece of Bill.. hahahaha damn

[Daveman]

There's also a wacky story about these photos. 

sooooooo,, we actually had two receptions, parties, vodka shot fests -- whatever the preferred nomenclature du jour. The first in Donetsk so her friends could be there and then a second in her small home town in the Carpathian mountains (truly God's country in Ukraine... stunningly gorgeous area).  This was a rock's throw from the Romanian border. I think the most notable nearby town is Khust. Still small but easier to find on a map or Google Earth.

When showing these photos to her family in the tiny town (Nizhne Seleshche) one of her aunts suddenly screamed and wouldn't look at the photos while others gasped. Of course, I thought it was my overwhelmingly manly manliness which had sent her into a screaming frenzy as I often have that effect on women of all ages -- shrieks, screams, uncontrollable leg movements which closely resemble running. 

If you look around in the photos you'll notice (if you haven't already) a skull mouse pointer.  Yep, the superstitious nature of Western Ukraine is not overstated at least with that generation.  One of the first Shock Effects in Zakarpatia.  That is an area where you actually say things you never dreamed you'd say, e.g., "I'm not sure that half pig carcass will fit behind the seat..."

I screen capped these from raw image files, and didn't notice the pointer being captured as well until after I had screencapped about 100 or so. No way in hell I was going to do them all again because we had the raw files going into processing anyway ....

[Patagonie]

Hi DavemanWe have a parallel story.
I met my ex-wife in 2011, committed in early 2012, and separated and divorced in 2017/2018.But I've always kept with FSU, going there regularly with different GF, sometimes they were local.

[ML]

Hi DavemanWe have a parallel story.
I met my ex-wife in 2011, committed in early 2012, and separated and divorced in 2017/2018.But I've always kept with FSU, going there regularly with different GF, sometimes they were local.

My now wife came to live with me in July 2011.
She is still here with me.

After my making somewhere in upper 20s trips to FSU in earlier years (business for a few years, then women chasing) . . . I haven't gone there since her arrival here in USA.

At my advanced age . . . am pretty sure I couldn't repeat my previous chasing.

[CaptB]

DaveMan,


Nice to see you are still kicking. Keep the lid on expectations.......sounds like this trip might actually be fun. Your "Ex"........involving herself in your love-life........says much. You are right......you must have done "something".................right. Welcome back.


CaptB

[2tallbill]

But none of my antics can compare to 2tallbill's being passed around by entire groups of hysterical slavic women...  I'll never forget that invasion into the forum... all of them wanting a piece of Bill.. hahahaha damn

Those poor girls, the only thing that would fill the empty dark hole in their soul
was a sweet, sweet bite out of Bill. We've all moved on to bigger and better things,
their forum is dead and I am happily married living the dream.   

[Hammer2722]

Nice to see you back on the Forum Daveman, welcome back!!!! Good to see you've still kept your sense of humor intact! 

[SteveInBoston]

Hi Dave,

I wish you luck...all over again.   I'm a relative newbie married to a Donetsk girl (married in 2019).