Flirting Suggestions with Russian Women

[Surfer]

Hi All,

So, I have been trying since past couple of years to search a good Russian woman for myself. I never tried the route of dating sites. The only times I met Russian girls were through other means on Internet. It started out as friends and then I met them in real life.

Now, this year, I have joined EM and I corresponded with a few of them. So, I really need the help from more experienced members to understand a few things.

I am looking for a FSU woman for marriage.

I usually follow this approach:

1. Send EOI on EM.
2. Once the EOI is accepted. I send a polite email with length limited to two short paragraphs. It has focus on describing myself and my intentions of joining the site. And focus on what I like about her personality (based on reading her profile) and questions to her about her profession and what kind of a man she desires as a life partner.
3. They usually respond to the questions with details about what they desire in the man (the typical, kind, sincere, family oriented and intelligent thing). Then, I exchange a few more emails talking about their family background, past relationships, their likes and dislikes, personality traits and so on.
4. After about 4 or 5 such correspondences, I suggest them to talk on messenger like whatsapp or Skype.
5. I spoke to a few on whatsapp or Skype for a couple of times.

Now, I know very well the importance of not being "nice" and not being "friendly" with girls. I have learned it the hard way. What I need to understand better is, how to flirt with Russian women. How different are they from western women? A lot of content on Internet which explains how to flirt with women seems a bit overboard. Especially the playful and teasing stuff. I think, some of those things would be a bit too much for Russia/Ukrainian who are more conservative than the western girls.

Here are few things that I do:

1. Compliment them sincerely about their personality traits (hardworking nature, intelligence, sincerity, good habits and so on).
2. Compliment them on their looks (initial phase, just simple stuff about their face, eyes, hair or overall appearance)
3. Do a bit of teasing and make them laugh.

This goes on for another 3 to 4 days.

Now, what I have noticed is, a lot of these girls would feel that I'm too friendly or they are not sure about my intentions or how I feel about them.

My question to you is, what can I do different? What must I change in my strategy or approach? I really want to learn. I am willing to share more details in private with someone who is experienced and can help me understand what I must do different.

Thanks!

[msmob]

My question to you is, what can I do different? What must I change in my strategy or approach? I really want to learn. I am willing to share more details in private with someone who is experienced and can help me understand what I must do different.

Thanks!

Surfer,

Are you seeking a wife for 'fun' or marriage ?

I only ask as 'flirting' is indeed part of this process ...but may be you are putting to much emphasis on that ?

IF you don't speak any Russian then it's hard to communicate with ladies - a lot of translations get garbled

We don't know if you are writing to ladies that are much younger than you

IF  a FSU is lady is interested in you - you'll normally be left in no doubt - but you'll be expected to act - that means get on a plane

Sorry, if the answers don't fit your situation - you need only 'reveal' more if you feel comfortable

My info is c.five years out of date - but I feel EM has lost it's crown as the best site ...  Try fdating / dmnotify

[BillyB]

Now, I know very well the importance of not being "nice" and not being "friendly" with girls. I have learned it the hard way. What I need to understand better is, how to flirt with Russian women. Here are few things that I do:

The girls have plenty of guys flirting with them on the internet. Most of those guys aren't serious. If you act mature, intelligent, and serious, you may stand out as a winner.

1. Compliment them sincerely about their personality traits (hardworking nature, intelligence, sincerity, good habits and so on).
2. Compliment them on their looks (initial phase, just simple stuff about their face, eyes, hair or overall appearance)
3. Do a bit of teasing and make them laugh.

If you compliment too much, you give the impression you are in awe of the girls. Girls want a man in their life they can look up to and in awe of. When I date a woman, she gets one compliment and no more. I might mention how beautiful her hair looks or how good her perfume smells or how nice her clothes looks. Of course she looks good all over but she gets one compliment.

How much do you tease and try to make them laugh. Many FSU women I know don't want to marry a clown. It's better to show that you can laugh at things or a woman's jokes or funny stories instead of trying to make a woman laugh all the time.

You have a lot of competition for the women out there. If you want to be like them, understand most of them won't come in 1st place for the woman/women you're chasing. Be better than them.

[Surfer]

Surfer,

Are you seeking a wife for 'fun' or marriage ?

I only ask as 'flirting' is indeed part of this process ...but may be you are putting to much emphasis on that ?

IF you don't speak any Russian then it's hard to communicate with ladies - a lot of translations get garbled

We don't know if you are writing to ladies that are much younger than you

IF  a FSU is lady is interested in you - you'll normally be left in no doubt - but you'll be expected to act - that means get on a plane

Sorry, if the answers don't fit your situation - you need only 'reveal' more if you feel comfortable

My info is c.five years out of date - but I feel EM has lost it's crown as the best site ...  Try fdating / dmnotify

Thanks you @msmob.

Sure, I'll share more details.

1. I am looking for serious relationship which results in marriage. I make my intentions clear to them in the beginning and get to know their goals as well. Secondly, I have written this part on my profile on EM too so that any girl reading it knows my purpose.

2. About Russian. I didn't mention earlier but I can speak Russian at intermediate level. In fact, sometimes I feel a bit upset to be honest because I have the advantage of speaking good Russian. I have been learning Russian since past 4 years and I have a good knowledge about Russian movies, culture, cuisine, music and so on. In fact, one of the girls was so surprised that she couldn't believe how it is possible. The other girls were impressed with my knowledge of Russian.

And if there's something I cannot express well in Russian, I write it in English. I agree, it's important to communicate in a clear way.

3. I'm 31 and I write to ladies in the age range 27 to 31. I usually expect women who are 30 and above to be more serious about marriage and building a family in future.

4. So, there have been cases where a women from Ukraine with whom I communicated for several months. I did not meet her through EM. I met her on VK and we started as friends and later expressed the fact that we like each other. I made my intentions clear to her that I want to meet her and since she was in Donetsk, so she said it was not possible. However, she said that she wanted to meet very much as well and she would let me know as soon as she moves to another city and she is comfortable. Recently, she moved to another city. We continued communicating however I was waiting for her to let me know when she is comfortable to meet. We already decided for her to let me know so that I can plan accordingly. But very recently, everything crashed and she stopped talking. She said, you did not make your intentions clear, I did not know how you feel about me and so on. Even though, she knew my intentions all along. Then she said, you should have asked me once again to meet me and so on. I was quite surprised because this was the girl with whom I had maximum attachment.

5. About flirting. The reason I brought this up is because I'll be honest that I have not done much flirting with women in the past and I don't consider myself experienced in it. I do understand the importance of flirting to get the other girl interested and build a bit of sexual tension. Most of the articles and videos on this topic on Internet are targeted towards western audience so I am not sure how different would it be for Russian/Ukrainian as I understand that women there have different priorities in a relation and they are bit more conservative. FSU women are different, which is something we all can agree.

FSU girls I have spoken to usually tell me that I'm intelligent, I have good goals in life, great habits, the urge to learn new things, good sense of humor and very interesting to talk to.

Now, I'll quote a few girls from EM. Girls who said this to me after 4 or 5 days of communication (includes, texting, emails and video calls). Examples:

a) From a 27 year old girl: "Where is our relation developing? I like talking to you but I feel that we are heading towards friendzone. I would like to feel not just interest but also sympathy".

So, I understood that she was expecting me to flirt more with her.

b) From a 31 year old woman: "What exactly are your intentions? Talking about every day events even friends do. There is nothing special in that."

But this woman persisted in more communication with me. She even said after a few days herself that she likes me. I told her clearly my intentions that I am interested in her as well and like talking to her.

c) From a 30 year old woman:  "I really like talking to you and conversations with you are very easy. But I didn't feel the connection or chemistry with you.".

We directly started communicating through messenger after 1 email exchange on EM. We had one full day of conversation through text and we got to know each other really well. She even started sending emoticons (the intimate ones, kissing and so on). I reciprocated the same way. It was a great conversation. And one day after that, she made an excuse that she cannot develop relations further because there are sudden issues at her workplace and business. She said, I'll delete my profile from EM so that you don't think that it's because of you. She actually removed her profile from EM. Then, a few days later, her profile was back on EM. I asked her, what's going on?

After a bit of questions, she finally answered that she was not feeling the chemistry with me. Then she said, you are a very good person and I wish you happiness. Then she contacted me again and wanted to know if we can be friends.

So, I would like to understand from the more experienced members here, what do you feel I should do better or change? I can definitely share more details and if you are willing to help, I would gladly appreciate.

The reason I am searching for FSU women is because there are amazing things said about them and known. They are known to be family oriented and searching for someone with serious intentions.

Are they expecting more flirt, more compliments, more warm communication or do they want me to just say after a few days that I am really interested in you, I like you and want to meet you in real life as soon as possible. And then setup a date?

Thanks.

[Surfer]

The girls have plenty of guys flirting with them on the internet. Most of those guys aren't serious. If you act mature, intelligent, and serious, you may stand out as a winner.

If you compliment too much, you give the impression you are in awe of the girls. Girls want a man in their life they can look up to and in awe of. When I date a woman, she gets one compliment and no more. I might mention how beautiful her hair looks or how good her perfume smells or how nice her clothes looks. Of course she looks good all over but she gets one compliment.

How much do you tease and try to make them laugh. Many FSU women I know don't want to marry a clown. It's better to show that you can laugh at things or a woman's jokes or funny stories instead of trying to make a woman laugh all the time.

You have a lot of competition for the women out there. If you want to be like them, understand most of them won't come in 1st place for the woman/women you're chasing. Be better than them.

Thanks @BillyB for your response. I really appreciate it.

It looks like from my first post, it sounds like I want to flirt with them a lot and give them compliments a lot right? Well the truth is, No, that's not the case.

If you read my post above, I have included more details.

I 100% agree with you and that's my approach as well. I believe in getting to know the woman well and allow her to get to know me well. I believe in not complimenting a lot too. I would compliment once in a while during conversation about their appearance or some other personality trait. But that's about it.

Secondly, regarding teasing or joking. I don't do it more often.

The only reason I started doing was so that they don't consider me "too friendly" or "too nice".

Because that's what everyone says right, don't be too friendly or too nice with them. I'm just quoting some of the most popular advises on Internet: "Flirt more, create sexual tension, play with her, tease her, make her laugh."

Now, the only reason this question came to my mind is because I believe that if a man and woman are looking for serious long term relationship or marriage, then it's more important for woman to know that the man is good, intelligent, sincere and has serious intentions.

I just want to understand this better so that in future, it does not happen that these girls say: "Oh, I feel like we can be just friends", "Oh you are really good person, we can be friends.".

Your advises are really appreciated.

[BillyB]

Because that's what everyone says right, don't be too friendly or too nice with them. I'm just quoting some of the most popular advises on Internet: "Flirt more, create sexual tension, play with her, tease her, make her laugh."

Displaying confidence is sexy. If you can show you have many fine qualities and are a winner,  women would be thinking about you all day and hope you'd call or write them again.

A lot of FSU women don't have time for endless chat. They will make a decision on you quickly. You will be discarded or they will hang onto you longer but if you prove yourself not their type or not marriage material later on, you will get discarded.

[Trenchcoat]

Well I've did EM when I started out on this journey a couple of years back and other dating sites since, but I never got the response you are getting Surfer.

Most of my messages were mundane, with dually just one compliment usually on the opening letter, i.e you look pretty in your photo, etc. I wondered if I was undercooking it but I now think particularly after hearing the above it was probably about right even though it was far from ground breaking stuff, it was just everyday stuff really.

Some of course drop off over time, their interest gets drawn elsewhere or I let it drift a week as couldn't keep up with them all so showing them I was not that keen on them I guess.

After hearing the above I'm thinking that the type of messages that work on western dating sites like Match & POF probably don't work so well on FSU dating sites. I never had much luck on western dating sites so I'm guessing my mundane messaging style probably suited the FSU dating sites better, lol.

So it may well be that you are trying too hard and so over several messages come across more as friendly when they want serious as in after a few jovial messages they may not be taking you seriously anymore.

Other than that thought, there is the question of why are you looking in the FSU for a woman as opposed to the UK?

[msmob]

Trench, sorry - but when I saw you have responded on this thread - I thought OMG - what 'advice' will he be giving ?

Don't you get it ?  Whilst you are quite correct that the forum is open to all  - why don't you make it clear that your 'dating methodologies' are serial fails ?

This might help those posting a question that you respond to - to be mindful of your responses ..

Cruel ? YES ... Accurate, YES...

Example: You haven't had 'much luck' FSU dating, either. 

[msmob]

Thanks you @msmob.

Sure, I'll share more details...

Hi Surfer!

Well, well, you certainly do have an advantage over most guys;)  The language thing...

I'd advise you to be more 'direct' in your profile - example delete the 'serious relationship leading leading to' ...and just write 'looking for marriage'.   

Most FSU women are looking for a guy who is direct - knows what he wants

Are they expecting more flirt, more compliments, more warm communication or do they want me to just say after a few days that I am really interested in you, I like you and want to meet you in real life as soon as possible. And then setup a date?

This may seem hard - but I'm speaking from experience..  I found that a lady interested in me would even suggest going to video chat - before I did !   You may not be confident - you state this - and ladies sense that.

Flirting is about our facial expressions as much as what we say - or don't

You are a clever chap... why not read about such topics ?

Lastly, this dating process is shallow in the earliest stages .... How you look makes a big difference ...  A profile showing you doing outdoorsy, sporty things - followed by video chats when you're out and about in pleasant countryside - or even with friends can instill a vision of an active life .... This is a selling process

[Blighty]

Welcome to the forum Surfer, and good luck in your search. My wife met a lot of 'not very serious' men in her search for a western husband. Action rather than words is very important in this venture. Using the word "marriage" in our correspondence was very important to her.

You mentioned about Donetsk in one of your posts. That woman should have had either a DPR or Ukraine identity card, which would have allowed her to cross into Russia for a meeting with you. My wife has recently visited Crimea using her Ukraine identify card (not foreign passport), and she had no problems crossing between the Ukrainian and Russian positions.

[Trenchcoat]

Trench, sorry - but when I saw you have responded on this thread - I thought OMG - what 'advice' will he be giving ?

Don't you get it ?  Whilst you are quite correct that the forum is open to all  - why don't you make it clear that your 'dating methodologies' are serial fails ?

This might help those posting a question that you respond to - to be mindful of your responses ..

Cruel ? YES ... Accurate, YES...

Example: You haven't had 'much luck' FSU dating, either.

'Opinion' Mobe, 'Opinion'

Actually I have met three women so far, one of them for a week period and another for two one week periods. I have also had a decent amount of interest from the ladies online.

Now I may not have gotten there into a LTR and marriage, etc but I have gotten farther up the road than Surfer here and I don't mean any demeaning of Surfer in saying that, its just is how it is.

Sure, these meetings/dating has had their problems but with the two women I dated for the week or so that it was we got on very well together. I would say that issues of my inexperience in FSU dating at the time got in the way among other factors.

Surfer here isn't even getting anywhere near that stage, he is hardly off the starting blocks and when he is he apparently stumbles in a false start. Hence why I may be able to help him out as its ground I HAVE covered successfully as it is very early ground to cover.

The fact that surfer seems to be stumbling at the same hurdle time & time again suggests that he is making the same mistake time & time again. Until that changes he will get much the same result. That is why I ask more of his 'back story' as to why he is looking to date a FSW rather than a girl at home, etc. As I hope you have learn't from Rod's thread Mobe the 'back story' of an OP's thread problem can really tell a lot as how to solve the problem.

[Trenchcoat]

Hi Surfer!

Well, well, you certainly do have an advantage over most guys;)  The language thing...

And yet he still isn't getting very far, in fact less far then me despite this 'advantage' that I don't have.

I'd advise you to be more 'direct' in your profile - example delete the 'serious relationship leading leading to' ...and just write 'looking for marriage'.   

I've done similar if not the same and have not had the response that Surfer seems to keep end up getting. Yes you are no doubt right in your advice but I still don't think it is the heart of the matter. Remember, most of Surfers correspondence goes south further along the line, he gets women communicate with him in the first instance at least. This suggests that his profile is not he's Achilles heel.

Lastly, this dating process is shallow in the earliest stages .... How you look makes a big difference ...  A profile showing you doing outdoorsy, sporty things - followed by video chats when you're out and about in pleasant countryside - or even with friends can instill a vision of an active life .... This is a selling process

And yet I did none of these and still got plenty of communication & interest. I don't think any of that is necessary to get interest. It might help to show a more in depth view of your life IF it is your life, I think the danger here would be Surfer goes out and creates a life portrait of a life he doesn't have just to put forward an 'active sporty life'. If he is neither active nor sporty then it is telling the girl a lie which she will likely pick up on. Remember Mobe, this isn't Match.com dating that sort of bull can be left for there, I've never found it to be needed for FSU dating, thankfully There's no need to start up zip lining or any of that sort of rubbish western women look for, as I understand it FSW mostly want a man who can provide at lest a reasonable level of comfort, that is not done on showing a life out rambling in the countryside, lol.


No, I think Surfer's problems are generally that as said before he is trying too hard, trying harder like you are suggesting Mobe will probably make matters worse, not better. I also think that by bringing in possibly too much flirting, friendliness particularly after a sustained period he may be coming off as a 'keyboard romeo' - someone who enjoys romancing online but never gets away from the keyboard to take action to visit. His age at 31 is only just getting to the age where many FSW looking abroad will see a man a serious and possibly able to provide/serious. The last girl I was with (in her mid twenties) had apparently been looking at that age group but found them to not quite have what she wanted in terms of providing so hence why she ended up looking more late thirties, etc. I don't think Surfer is too young, he's at about the right age to get going on all of this and while 4 years of Russian is nice to have under his belt he is at the age where he needs to not show he may not be that serious/committed -these girls don't want to waste too long on keyboard romeos that lead no where, they want to get preggers as soon as My impression is that most are serious/direct about it so they want a man who is serious/direct about it too.

I think Surfer is perhaps too in tune with online western dating style and not perhaps so much the direct bluntness of FSU dating style, which I now much prefer

[Surfer]

Hi Surfer!

Well, well, you certainly do have an advantage over most guys;)  The language thing...

I'd advise you to be more 'direct' in your profile - example delete the 'serious relationship leading leading to' ...and just write 'looking for marriage'.   

Most FSU women are looking for a guy who is direct - knows what he wants


This may seem hard - but I'm speaking from experience..  I found that a lady interested in me would even suggest going to video chat - before I did !   You may not be confident - you state this - and ladies sense that.

Flirting is about our facial expressions as much as what we say - or don't

You are a clever chap... why not read about such topics ?

Lastly, this dating process is shallow in the earliest stages .... How you look makes a big difference ...  A profile showing you doing outdoorsy, sporty things - followed by video chats when you're out and about in pleasant countryside - or even with friends can instill a vision of an active life .... This is a selling process

Thank you @msmob

1. Appreciate your suggestion. I will update my profile to reflect that I am looking for marriage only.

2. So far, I haven't had any problems with girls being willing to talk on Skype or Whatsapp. After a few email exchanges on EM, we begin to talk on Skype or Whatsapp.

3. About my intentions. I definitely make it clear to them about what I want so I don't think that's the problem.

4. I am quite confident while having a video chat, I even allow them to do the talking and listen more. However, I will certainly work on improving further.

5. Agreed. I do share with them photos and videos from outdoor places where I visit. I do this so that it allows them to get a peek into my day to day life and activities.

I will invest more time in making photos to highlight this part more

[Surfer]

And yet he still isn't getting very far, in fact less far then me despite this 'advantage' that I don't have.

I've done similar if not the same and have not had the response that Surfer seems to keep end up getting. Yes you are no doubt right in your advice but I still don't think it is the heart of the matter. Remember, most of Surfers correspondence goes south further along the line, he gets women communicate with him in the first instance at least. This suggests that his profile is not he's Achilles heel.

And yet I did none of these and still got plenty of communication & interest. I don't think any of that is necessary to get interest. It might help to show a more in depth view of your life IF it is your life, I think the danger here would be Surfer goes out and creates a life portrait of a life he doesn't have just to put forward an 'active sporty life'. If he is neither active nor sporty then it is telling the girl a lie which she will likely pick up on. Remember Mobe, this isn't Match.com dating that sort of bull can be left for there, I've never found it to be needed for FSU dating, thankfully There's no need to start up zip lining or any of that sort of rubbish western women look for, as I understand it FSW mostly want a man who can provide at lest a reasonable level of comfort, that is not done on showing a life out rambling in the countryside, lol.


No, I think Surfer's problems are generally that as said before he is trying too hard, trying harder like you are suggesting Mobe will probably make matters worse, not better. I also think that by bringing in possibly too much flirting, friendliness particularly after a sustained period he may be coming off as a 'keyboard romeo' - someone who enjoys romancing online but never gets away from the keyboard to take action to visit. His age at 31 is only just getting to the age where many FSW looking abroad will see a man a serious and possibly able to provide/serious. The last girl I was with (in her mid twenties) had apparently been looking at that age group but found them to not quite have what she wanted in terms of providing so hence why she ended up looking more late thirties, etc. I don't think Surfer is too young, he's at about the right age to get going on all of this and while 4 years of Russian is nice to have under his belt he is at the age where he needs to not show he may not be that serious/committed -these girls don't want to waste too long on keyboard romeos that lead no where, they want to get preggers as soon as My impression is that most are serious/direct about it so they want a man who is serious/direct about it too.

I think Surfer is perhaps too in tune with online western dating style and not perhaps so much the direct bluntness of FSU dating style, which I now much prefer

Thank you @Trenchcoat for your replies.

I will respond to you a little later.

However, I will reiterate that I am looking for FSU women only for marriage and I have serious intentions. I definitely make my intentions clear to them. So, the problem is not there.

Also, it looks like you got the impression from my post that I am sending them messages like a "keyboard romeo". That is not true. I am neither complimenting too much and neither am I using any of those "western dating styles". In fact, the main reason I got confused was because I don't do too much flirting. So, I was wondering if that's what they want me to do more.

Now, reading the responses from the experienced members here, I clearly understand that it's not the case.

And I am very glad to know that FSU women do not expect so much flirting and fun talk which is what is expected in western part of the world.

I am a guy with serious intentions and I myself don't have time to play such games with girls.

I have traveled in the past to meet girls in Russia and I am always willing to go and meet.

I'll respond in more details to specific parts you have highlighted. I am willing to share more details, even to show the conversations in private if you want to have a look and give me suggestions about "what not to do" or "what to do".

I really appreciate you guys helping me out. Thanks.

[msmob]

Trench,

When are you going  READ other posts folk  - instead of posting - proving how you ( don't ) think ?

[Trenchcoat]

Examples:

a) From a 27 year old girl: "Where is our relation developing? I like talking to you but I feel that we are heading towards friendzone. I would like to feel not just interest but also sympathy".

So, I understood that she was expecting me to flirt more with her.

b) From a 31 year old woman: "What exactly are your intentions? Talking about every day events even friends do. There is nothing special in that."

But this woman persisted in more communication with me. She even said after a few days herself that she likes me. I told her clearly my intentions that I am interested in her as well and like talking to her.

c) From a 30 year old woman:  "I really like talking to you and conversations with you are very easy. But I didn't feel the connection or chemistry with you.".

We directly started communicating through messenger after 1 email exchange on EM. We had one full day of conversation through text and we got to know each other really well. She even started sending emoticons (the intimate ones, kissing and so on). I reciprocated the same way. It was a great conversation. And one day after that, she made an excuse that she cannot develop relations further because there are sudden issues at her workplace and business. She said, I'll delete my profile from EM so that you don't think that it's because of you. She actually removed her profile from EM. Then, a few days later, her profile was back on EM. I asked her, what's going on?

After a bit of questions, she finally answered that she was not feeling the chemistry with me.

I think girl A is not asking you to flirt with her when she states 'sympathy' - note this may not be the exact translation of what she means in English. I think like said that she wants you to focus more on her not generic topics of conversation. It might be your way of finding out more subtly about her but I don't think FSW do subtle. She wants to see you expressing interest in HER. It does not necessarily mean go as far as flirting but asking more questions about her, telling her you like talking to her very much, telling her what your interest in her is, etc.

I think the other girls are similar, for a girl to say about chemistry without meeting you is telling me that you are not getting enough of yourself across. Try Skyping with them and seem to try and find out all you wish to know about them, in detail if you wish, avoid a lot off generic conversation. As otherwise even if you visited the result may be the same. I think other than that consider just how much more direct FSW are, it certainly surprised me but now I am more used to it I find it much more preferably and to be honest probably play better with my character than western women.

I think one of the hardest things I find is reminding myself particularly when abroad that FSW are not like western women and to forget all the rubbish western women expect of men

[ML]

c) From a 30 year old woman:  "I really like talking to you and conversations with you are very easy. But I didn't feel the connection or chemistry with you.".

I still remember my short time with one very highly sexed FSU gal.

We would be sitting and talking, and she would say: "I could listen you to all day."
But then, after not too long, she would gently slide her hand under my belt and trousers.

Unfortunately she was not very good looking in face at all.

[msmob]

I think girl A is not asking you to flirt with her when she states 'sympathy' - note this may not be the exact translation of what she means in English. I think like said that she wants you to focus more on her not generic topics of conversation. It might be your way of finding out more subtly about her but I don't think FSW do subtle. She wants to see you expressing interest in HER. It does not necessarily mean go as far as flirting but asking more questions about her, telling her you like talking to her very much, telling her what your interest in her is, etc.

I think the other girls are similar, for a girl to say about chemistry without meeting you is telling me that you are not getting enough of yourself across. Try Skyping with them and seem to try and find out all you wish to know about them, in detail if you wish, avoid a lot off generic conversation. As otherwise even if you visited the result may be the same. I think other than that consider just how much more direct FSW are, it certainly surprised me but now I am more used to it I find it much more preferably and to be honest probably play better with my character than western women.

I think one of the hardest things I find is reminding myself particularly when abroad that FSW are not like western women and to forget all the rubbish western women expect of men

Trench, Trench, Trench ... Why do you continually post nonsense and conflicting 'advice' ?

Two weeks ago you were 'suggesting' that Skyping was a 'waste of time'   

FSU - if anything - may have more expectations than more emancipated Western ladies ...  You couldn't get your head around this expectation

[Boethius]

a) From a 27 year old girl: "Where is our relation developing? I like talking to you but I feel that we are heading towards friendzone. I would like to feel not just interest but also sympathy".

So, I understood that she was expecting me to flirt more with her.

Not necessarily flirting, but to know you are interested in her.  If you speak Russian, you should understand that "sympathy" in this context likely means (sexual) attraction.

I have to agree with moby.  Trench is just about the last person you should ask for advice.  He's pretty clueless about women, in general - it doesn't matter where they are from.

[Trenchcoat]

Not necessarily flirting, but to know you are interested in her.  If you speak Russian, you should understand that "sympathy" in this context likely means (sexual) attraction.

I have to agree with moby.  Trench is just about the last person you should ask for advice.  He's pretty clueless about women, in general - it doesn't matter where they are from.

And yet you've said almost exactly what I said that 'sympathy' was not necessarily meaning flirting but a focus on her. Not bad for a non-Russian speaking clueless Brit guy wouldn't you say?

[jone]

I read this thread and am somewhat bemused.  Have you been to Ukraine or Russia or is all of this a lead up to your first trip?  Women from Eastern Europe like a man of action.  They will favor such a man over a man who flirts with them or writes to them every day.

If you are going to meet them, you should say that you would like to get to know the woman and then, within say 45 days present yourself to her.  Otherwise, the woman will not keep any interest. 

This endeavor is not for the faint hearted.  You are essentially flying around the globe for a blind date.  But absent getting on a plane, you are just stroking your keyboard.

[Trenchcoat]

Trench, Trench, Trench ... Why do you continually post nonsense and conflicting 'advice' ?

Two weeks ago you were 'suggesting' that Skyping was a 'waste of time'   

FSU - if anything - may have more expectations than more emancipated Western ladies ...  You couldn't get your head around this expectation

For most strategys I would Skype and in Surfer's case here I would Skype particularly with those that show effort in their messaging with him. For me with the strategy I will soon be deploying it would be detrimental to the strategy to try and Skype beforehand.

I don't think you realise Mobe just how much Western women want these days an I'm not just talking about wealth. They want you to 'make them laugh' even if it means you demeaning yourself and leaving your dignity at the door. That's just not for me thank you, FSW suit me just fine in not wanting a clown for a man

[Trenchcoat]

You are essentially flying around the globe for a blind date.  But absent getting on a plane, you are just stroking your keyboard.

Lol, I agree with this I think you are very right here Jone.

I think Surfer has flown to Russia and met a few friends he made on VK but they came to the same conclusion that he was more for freindship than dating. As I understand it he has not met any of the women through the dating sites he has been using such as EM. I'm not sure that he is even Skyping that much which I know can be a mix of a pain and joy, finding the time etc but I kind of get the impression Surfer is kind of too comfortable with mainly messaging.

That's from what I could make out anyway.

[BdHvA]

Trench is just about the last person you should ask for advice.  He's pretty clueless about women, in general - it doesn't matter where they are from.

Trench as much as I admire your persistence on this forum. I doubt you would know how to 'plug in' if you were shown the socket.

[msmob]

For most strategys I would Skype and in Surfer's case here I would Skype particularly with those that show effort in their messaging with him. For me with the strategy I will soon be deploying it would be detrimental to the strategy to try and Skype beforehand.

Trench, ANY strategy you employ will FAIL, until you examine your attitude, first

Your latest assertion - below - in a case in point..

I don't think you realise Mobe just how much Western women want these days an I'm not just talking about wealth. They want you to 'make them laugh' even if it means you demeaning yourself and leaving your dignity at the door. That's just not for me thank you, FSW suit me just fine in not wanting a clown for a man

Trench, most women I know like a man who is confident in himself and makes them happy. You aren't 'demeaning yourself' - one is having fun ...

[Surfer]

I read this thread and am somewhat bemused.  Have you been to Ukraine or Russia or is all of this a lead up to your first trip?  Women from Eastern Europe like a man of action.  They will favor such a man over a man who flirts with them or writes to them every day.

If you are going to meet them, you should say that you would like to get to know the woman and then, within say 45 days present yourself to her.  Otherwise, the woman will not keep any interest. 

This endeavor is not for the faint hearted.  You are essentially flying around the globe for a blind date.  But absent getting on a plane, you are just stroking your keyboard.

Thank you @jone for your views.

I am a man of action and I do have serious intentions. In this thread, it has been mentioned a couple of times that you need to be a man of action for FSU women.

So, my direct question here is: how can you come across to FSU women as a man of action?

I'll share my thoughts on this and let me know if I am correct:

1. Exchange a few emails, text conversations and Skype with her.
2. After getting to know each other well, tell her how much you like talking to her and are interested in her.
3. And within 1 week's time, tell her that you would like to meet her in real life!
4. Discuss and decide the date.

Is this correct?

According to me, the only way of confirming to FSU women that you are a man of action is to tell them directly that you want to meet them in real life soon.

[Surfer]

Not necessarily flirting, but to know you are interested in her.  If you speak Russian, you should understand that "sympathy" in this context likely means (sexual) attraction.

I have to agree with moby.  Trench is just about the last person you should ask for advice.  He's pretty clueless about women, in general - it doesn't matter where they are from.

@Boethius: I agree with you. I do understand that they want to hear from me explicitly what I like about them and how much I am interested them. As I understand, FSU women don't want much flirting or teasing, which is actually really good news!!

I usually compliment them a bit, on their appearance, on their personality. I tell them how much interesting they are to talk to. And then, I feel, soon they want to hear when I am going to come over and meet them.

[msmob]

Surfer:

Too many guys do all you suggest and don't get on the plane ((

It actually, makes it harder for those that discuss it - as they aren't believed !

Of course, going makes you a man of action - I have knocked aside guys who've 'blablablahed' about going and feel hurt when 'their lady' writes and says - sorry - you were too late

If you find one particular lady you like - GO FOR IT

[jone]

Thank you @jone for your views.

I am a man of action and I do have serious intentions. In this thread, it has been mentioned a couple of times that you need to be a man of action for FSU women.

So, my direct question here is: how can you come across to FSU women as a man of action?

I'll share my thoughts on this and let me know if I am correct:

1. Exchange a few emails, text conversations and Skype with her.
2. After getting to know each other well, tell her how much you like talking to her and are interested in her.
3. And within 1 week's time, tell her that you would like to meet her in real life!
4. Discuss and decide the date.

Is this correct?

According to me, the only way of confirming to FSU women that you are a man of action is to tell them directly that you want to meet them in real life soon.

Wait until you get to know her well?  No.  She should have the expectation that she is going to meet you from the first time you introduce yourself to her.  No warm milk responses.  I would even put such in my profile.  (As a matter of fact, I did.)

Here is a segment from a former profile that I had on Elena's Models:

For those women reading my profile, you should know that most men on here are not truthful about their intentions.  Of the men here, only one in twenty are serious enough to get on a plane.  And of those who do, most have problems of why they cannot meet someone at home. I suffer from neither of those issues.  I will get on a plane (having done so) and do not have issues with women.

Once talking to the woman, you should immediately set expectations that you will meet her.  After all, that is the reason you are talking to her in the first place, isn't it?  In the eyes of an FSU woman, a man of action is one who says he is going to do something and then does it.  They are very black and white about this.  And if you follow through on your original commitment, they see you as someone who is going to follow through on future commitments.

You may only be 31 and never married, but life is to short to be diddling someone online.  You need to establish that you have mutual like for each other and then find out in reality if that is true.  But always remember that the great majority of these online introductions die with the first date and you should develop more than one lady in an area so you have a plan A, B and C.   

I have one more thought.  And it stems from my philosophy which goes against what I just said.  In some cases, you are totally taken by a woman.  You don't want an option B and C.  So my suggestion is going over to Eastern Europe for a long weekend.  You can see if the chemistry is right or not.   Then you are actually in a relationship and can carry it to the next level.  I have made three of such trips and each time they developed into further dating.

As 2TallBill would say:  Udachi!

[BillyB]

3. And within 1 week's time, tell her that you would like to meet her in real life!

You don't decide to meet a woman based on time. You decide to meet her because you really like her and you judged her to really like you. It may take a week or a few months to come to that conclusion. It's easy for the women to tell you to come visit them. You think it's wise to spend a few thousand dollars for a first date just because they asked you to come?

Out of 20 women you meet, you might find one worth marrying. At home you can date lots of women and it may cost you $50-$100 a date. After dating a woman a few times, she or you decide to call it quits. Then you move onto other women to see if it'll work out with them. International dating is a lot more expensive. Lots of guys have financial means that only allow them to try this once or a few times. Before deciding to visit a woman, you need to be very sure she's "into you". Right now you're overthinking things when it's very simple.

[IvanM07]

Trench as much as I admire your persistence on this forum. I doubt you would know how to 'plug in' if you were shown the socket.

Wasn't expecting that response as I took a sip of my Energy Drink lol.