Trench's Questions and Philosophies

[Trenchcoat]

What filter questions do you ask in your first, second and subsequent letters? 

Whether her boobs are real or fake of course

[Trenchcoat]

It has been my experience that if a woman is interested in me, she will ask questions.  The number of questions she asks is proportional to her interest.  Or maybe women simply find me fascinating. 

If I were writing 1000 women (and I personally would never do that) I would elevate a woman to the top of the list if she began asking many questions.  She sincerely wants to get to know me better.  The more questions a lady asks, the more she is investing in you emotionally.

If you're just looking for a date or a penpal, writing 1000 may be suitable.  But if you are searching for a life partner, you need to be able to filter those 1000 before writing.

I would highly encourage you to take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) test and find out what personality type you are, and what personality type best matches yours.  Know thyself, as the saying goes.

It's also probably worthwhile to familiarize yourself with the psychology Big 5.  Know thyself, and know how to recognize her traits simply by what she writes.

Knowing your IQ is also worthwhile.  Understanding how to recognize IQ in others is helpful too.  Girls with a higher IQ than the guy usually want a man she can control.  Women normally go for a guy who has a higher IQ than her. (part of the dominance heirarchy)

This will allow you to eliminate a lot of profiles, simply by glancing at what they write.  Even if they are attractive, if you know your personality types are not compatible, there won't be chemistry.  If your personality types are compatible, you will find chemistry when you meet.

This knowledge will also help you ask better questions, which helps filter girls.  For example, object oriented girls are less likely to respond to abstract questions, and idea oriented girls are less likely to respond to concrete.

The only drawback is that depending on your personality type, (especially if you are idea oriented) you may go through 1000 profiles and not find any that stand out.

Hint: idea oriented people just found my post interesting.  Object oriented people's eyes glazed over by the second paragraph.

Beefarmer, thanks once again for a great post. I did indeed read to the end so yep ideas guy

I find a lot of the time that a lot of profiles just have  the basic profile info at best and rarely anything filed out in the descriptivery sections. I think this is a female thing more in that they don't wish to gibe too much away early on. So pre screening them can only be done so far. To be honest I find it best to just go by what I can read into pics and just haul up a load of them, nowhere near a 1000 though, lol.

I will look into the links you suggest on personality more. The myers bright thing I have done.

I find hobbies/interests are probably the most telling thing. If she is an Opera or Orchestra fanatic as I have found out in the past it usually isn't a girl that is going to work with me.

I think aside from that though a lot of FSW are probably a hell of a lot closer to me on the Myers Brigg personality type than UK women. That's why I think they suit me better. Their culture and the sort if personalities inherent in it suit me better as a whole. Kind of a bit like how Chinese are regarded as very studious types on the whole.

One of the questions I ask myself of recent is are the women's interests something I could get with.  Not necessarily the same as my own but could I get with them. If the answer is yes and a fair amount of the time it is then I think she is probably reasonable enough to proceed with.

The only part of FSW I have been struggling with and I think many men do is their often dominant behaviour. Most of all their arbitrary behaviour within that. They tend to often bring up a - 'this is how it will be done/way I want it' type of situation. I you state much to the contrary it seems to be a downhill path from there on out. This is what I have found most challenging with them. I'm guessing it's also why a lot of relationships to local men in the FSU don't work out. It seems inherent to almost all of them.

[jone]

Bee Farmer and Trenchcoat.  Wow.  That is a duo I'd like to see in action on the hunt in Ukraine!

[Trenchcoat]

If anything I might believe that John Gaunt is Sting. Almost exact same attitude. I also am dubious if he is really married to FSW as he doesn't seem to be aware of the general personality of them. He seems to act as if it is like being married to a western woman.

[Boethius]

LOL. And you know this from your vast experience with WW?  FSUW?

I can assure you, John is married to a UW.

[msmob]

Thanks for the heads up, Boethius

...and I certainly didn't get the impression JG was 'Sting23'

[John Gaunt]

If anything I might believe that John Gaunt is Sting. Almost exact same attitude. I also am dubious if he is really married to FSW as he doesn't seem to be aware of the general personality of them.

Are you going to enlighten us? Based on your vast interaction with women from across the FSU? Bah humbug.
Each woman is an individual with a unique personality. FSUW share certain cultural/social characteristics which is true of any population/society but even these cannot be generalised as so many factors come into play. One would need to drill deep into all sorts of areas (social, cultural, historical, religious,  to name just a few) to come to any sort of conclusion.
 Boethius has a much better grasp and knowledge of this than I. To suggest that FSUW, or indeed, any group of women, share personality traits is just...... 


 

He seems to act as if it is like being married to a western woman.

Do tell us all about your experience of marriage to any woman, never mind a WW.

[John Gaunt]

LOL. And you know this from your vast experience with WW?  FSUW?

I can assure you, John is married to a UW.

Indeed. 

[John Gaunt]

Thanks for the heads up, Boethius

...and I certainly didn't get the impression JG was 'Sting23'

Quite right, too.

[Trenchcoat]

Well whatever on John Gaunt then.

Point is I have met few FSW that aren't that Arbitary. Some are less so than others but most seem to have a strong streak of it in them, perhaps it's due to Soviet Union experience or from living in harsh conditions who knows. I'm sure plenty of western guys have come across this with FSW too.

[BdHvA]

Bee Farmer and Trenchcoat.  Wow.  That is a duo I'd like to see in action on the hunt in Ukraine!

Something like Beevis and Butthead tried to get laid in Ukraine. Our two heroes could not even figure it out if they were in the RiverBoat on the Dnieper.

[Boethius]

Point is I have met few FSW that aren't that Arbitary. Some are less so than others but most seem to have a strong streak of it in them, perhaps it's due to Soviet Union experience or from living in harsh conditions who knows. I'm sure plenty of western guys have come across this with FSW too.

I'm not certain what you mean by arbitrary, but have you ever considered this is a personality type that appeals to you?  Or that is attracted to you?

[Trenchcoat]

I'm not certain what you mean by arbitrary, but have you ever considered this is a personality type that appeals to you?  Or that is attracted to you?

By arbitrary I mean they are like state what will be happening or how things shall be done and won't move from that position. They decide on something and that's that, doesn't matter what I say. In fact if I say something to the contrary the can not take too well to it and relations can deteriorate unless I change my mind pretty quickly.

[Boethius]

You may want to consult your dictionary for the definition of arbitrary.


Have you ever considered that this character flaws is why those women must seek foreign partners?

[IvanM07]

You may want to consult your dictionary for the definition of arbitrary.

There can be multiple definitions for the same thing.

(of power or a ruling body) unrestrained and autocratic in the use of authority.
"arbitrary rule by King and bishops has been made impossible"
synonyms:   autocratic, dictatorial, autarchic, undemocratic, despotic, tyrannical, authoritarian, high-handed; More

[Trenchcoat]

You may want to consult your dictionary for the definition of arbitrary.


Have you ever considered that this character flaws is why those women must seek foreign partners?

Yes it is something that has crossed my mind lol. In the UK there is normally big reasons why women are still single and on dating sites - mental health problems, problems with relationships, etc.

So by comparison the one same or similar problem with FSW/Ukrainian women that keeps cropping up should be small in comparison and is indeed a better deal I guess. It's really just a case if me getting to know how to cope with it I think. I'm starting to get there I think but think there might be more learning for me to do on this one I think.

[Boethius]

You could say the same thing about 40 year old men with no relationship history.

[Trenchcoat]

You could say the same thing about 40 year old men with no relationship history.

I have some relationship history but not a lot but this is more due to the bad state if dating in the UK.

I guess I am going to have to make the best of what I can. I think I can make a go of it, it will just take a bit of effort to get there.

[Boethius]

If you have a bad dating history, you should look at the reasons why.  They are about you, not the women you dated.

[Trenchcoat]

If you have a bad dating history, you should look at the reasons why.  They are about you, not the women you dated.

There about the bad society I live in. As Krimster states women have a monopoly in the west. Western society is not kind on the guy and to think it's the FSUM that suffer from alcoholism, lol.

[Boethius]

You misunderstood krimster.  It isn't that women in the West have it better, it is that because they are equal and don't have to rely on men, they have more choices.


Yes, Western societies are so hard on men.  That must be why they are so underrepresented in Fortune 500 companies, on lists of the world's wealthiest individuals, in boardrooms, and in politics.  Those, poor, poor oppressed WM.

[Trenchcoat]

You misunderstood krimster.  It isn't that women in the West have it better, it is that because they are equal and don't have to rely on men, they have more choices.


Yes, Western societies are so hard on men.  That must be why they are so underrepresented in Fortune 500 companies, on lists of the world's wealthiest individuals, in boardrooms, and in politics.  Those, poor, poor oppressed WM.

You don't get it do you. If a western women's gift/worth is pregnancy to a man then what is a man's worth to a woman? He can't get pregnant. That's right he's worth is in being a provider otherwise he has no worth to her.

The more equal a western society gets the less worth a man has as a provider. The woman is both becoming a provider and so making the man redundant and can get pregnant.

When my sister got divorced from her first husband she said to me 'there are no decent me around' - she was in her early to mid thirties. I soon learnt that 'decent' did not me a nice guy with pleasant manners and the right morals but a guy who had a good job and her own house like she did. Any guy with much less than this wasn't really suitable so not a consideration or apparently seen as a decent man, lol.

That's why men need to earn more than women, that's why the need to be dominant in the fortune 500 companies - they are supposed to be the providers it's their thing. It isn't supposed to be a put down of women it's just what men are built to do, provide sk the woman doesn't have to. I tell you now I would rather be a western woman any day my than a western man.

[Boethius]

You have a perverted understanding of what constitutes a relationship.

A woman doesn't choose a man solely because he is a breadwinner, or because he is a sperm donor.  She does so because she wants to build a life with him.

Our children are grown.  Does that mean that suddenly, my husband is superfluous to my life?

There are many men here who had raised families with their American ex wives, and were not looking to have children with a new FSUW.  Are they superfluous to the FSUW they chose, who usually had a child/children with an FSUM?

You have never lived as a woman, which is why you say what you do.

[Trenchcoat]

Your talking about post family creation relationships Boe. Truth is a women in the west is normally attracted to several men but is most likely to chose the bear provider of those men as long as the man decides to accept her choice to date him.

[Boethius]

No, WW usually don't choose the best provider.  A woman usually chooses the man who she loves (at the time).

For most individuals (male and female), the heart is open to love and family.  Somewhere along the line, you lost that.  I assume it is because of a painful past experience.  However, I don't think, even if you manage to find an FSUW to marry, that the relationship will last, because what you seek is not built from a place of love and normality.  It's broken.  I don't post that to you with any malice, but with a sadness.