When the pool shrinks

[Daveman]

That "instruction" would certainly assist the longevity of some if not most of these marriages. If Trench moved there he would have a much higher chance of findng a woman who is highly attracted, is mostly compatible, and could genuinely fall in love with him if he didn't screw it up. Then moving wouldn't matter.

[Daveman]

Definitely a legendary tale of warning.

Ok, just refreshed my memory a bit. Um, yeah, shes a first ballot Hall of Fame piece of crap of a woman.

Scott chose her...
Don't be like Scott.

Scott chose to marry her with red flags galore.
Don't be like Scott.

Scott chose to import a walking bag of crap to the USA.
Don't be like Scott.

Had they remained in Simferopol, she probably would have left him as he aged out, but i doubt before that time. Perhaps, perhaps not.

[ML]

. . . as he aged out . . .

Whoa . . . wtf is that . . . ? :-(

Do we men really age out ?

[Daveman]

Whoa . . . wtf is that . . . ? :-(

Do we men really age out ?

You don't... the rest of us normal guys are stuck ...

[2tallbill]

I am lucky, having grown up in abject poverty.

Everything was then 'up' for me.

Yeah me too. two brothers and three sisters, living in the Desert in California.
A car with no air conditioning 5 seatbelts for 8 people, which didn't matter
because we didn't wear them anyway. The smallest child in my moms lap,
the second smallest in my lap. Two bedroom house living 7 miles out of
town. All the gold diggers chased wanted a piece of my family money.

A large pointy stick, that's how I fought 'em off.

Blythe California 100 miles from water and ten feet from Hell.
(We were close to water).

[2tallbill]

Scott chose to marry her with red flags galore.
Don't be like Scott.

You can compromise on looks, education, really anything but not character.
Never compromise on character. Words for Scotts to live by.

[2tallbill]

Whoa . . . wtf is that . . . ? :-(

Do we men really age out ?

In my opinion, not unless you marry a youngster, like a twenty year old then
you certainly will. That's why ten year age gap works and twenty plus rarely
does.

[krimster2]

i pushed the envelope a bit with 15 yr gap
but now after almost 25 yr of marriage
I am even happier than I was on my honeymoon (dewds, I coulda had sex with her LOL)

so I live with a stunning Elizabeth Hurley look-a-like
and when she steps outta the shower
my slinky still goes "doing doing doing"

you guys think you had it rough growing up?

my family didn't buy the high-end caviar in the Armenian shops in NYC like everyone thought
it was actually just the roe from some fish from missouri they put in the old empty jars

kids today, have no idea...

[2tallbill]

i pushed the envelope a bit with 15 yr gap

I did 13. Most guys that don't have superior social skills shouldn't try to surpass 10.

[krimster2]

Trench, what kinda genuis level idea was it to major in history and then live in your mommy's village in the midlands, quaint though it may well be???
(note if your mom made really good cookies/cake, I'd get it, but English moms SUCK in the kitchen, I KNOW!!!)
this choice guarantees you're gonna be poor and single
after making this choice WTF are you surprised by the outcome?

I used to work w/ you Brits in Cambridge, engineers were making 3X your salary, and dewd, didja see all the wimmin in Cambridge and Oxford?  You think I wasn't chasin that, and charmin em with my sweet Virginia accent and cowboy look...

cambridge and oxford down the road were every bit as good as Ukraine as far as the  abundance of pretty young things are concerned, AND...AND... THEY ALL freakin speak English!!!!
dawg, girl with standard pronounciation Queen's English whispering in my ear about what she wants to do to me....
my slinky went "doing doing doing"
I'd loved to have captured the look on my face, I'd of made millions on youtube

yes Beel, you right about "skillz"
and this is the core of it

you are your skillz
skillz are things you learned or were taught
skills are more knowledge related
you also need a higher faculty called wisdom

wisdom woulda told scott
that a house divided cannot stand
and that he AND his wife were VERY divided over the issue of Scott working to improve their life style
and he knew this before they left for the USA

the outcome was so OBVIOUS that I WARNED him of it, a year before he left
but as usual my warnings only piss people off
and that's how Scott reacted

scot believed his own delusions
instead of seeing the truth
and that truth was scot's wife didn't think he was pullin his share of the load
and that scot's wife considered him to be her donkey
and ya'll KNOW what happens to donkey's misbehavin' like that
hmmmm hmmmmm, and that's EXACTLY what I told him

this is WHY I ain't gonna tell ya'll 'bout the really, reallyy bad stuff comin down the ulitsa
cuz ya'll get mad like scot
and I don't wanna have to deal with your negative vibrations cuz it throws me off course

lastly, Trench
the secret of life
is to FIND YOUR GIFT
cultivate it, let it grow, reap its harvest
and rest under its shade when you grow old
and that's where ya'll gonna find me

[Daveman]

You can compromise on looks, education, really anything but not character.
Never compromise on character. Words for Scotts to live by.

Yahtzee!

[Daveman]

In my opinion, not unless you marry a youngster, like a twenty year old then
you certainly will. That's why ten year age gap works and twenty plus rarely
does.

I think it's not a clear cut answer though amount of age gap would certainly influence it.

Probably has to do with how.much in love she is with the guy compared/ratioed to how much his aging will inconvenience her (selfishness) ratioed to her perception, delusional or not, of her current market value.

Just a hunch/guess. I'm sure it's formulaic and some insurance company has a precise stastical analysis. 

[2tallbill]

I think it's not a clear cut answer though amount of age gap would certainly influence it.

Probably has to do with how.much in love she is with the guy compared/ratioed to how much his aging will inconvenience her (selfishness) ratioed to her perception, delusional or not, of her current market value.

Just a hunch/guess. I'm sure it's formulaic and some insurance company has a precise stastical analysis. 

It's definitely not clear cut, that's why I used 10 years as a rule of thumb for a guy who is
relatively socially skilled. A guy like myself who is tall, handsome, socially skilled and gets
the girl to fall head over hills in love can press his rule of thumb a bit.

Guys like the OP, need to subtract from the 10 years. Maybe a 2 or 3 year difference would
be his max. He won't do that of course so he will fail. This was never going to work for him,
his countless false assumptions, nutball theories, confidence level, lack of experience, and
inability to self assess.

Warning Story alert!!
Warning Story alert!!
Warning Story alert!! 
This is where I tell a long only somewhat related story about an event from the past.
This is where I tell a long only somewhat related story about an event from the past.
This is where I tell a long only somewhat related story about an event from the past.

If you are still reading, you've been warned and any complaining about me waxing
historically will be met with deaf ears and stone cold indifference to your plight.

There was a guy from a different forum, his so called girl friend locked him in his apartment
(for his safety) and disappeared on New Years eve. She came back the next day let him out
telling him that she was called back to work (ON NEW YEARS EVE IN THE FSU) and was
unavailable until noon or so finally letting him out on New Years day.

Myself and others got the guy into a chatroom while he was still in the FSU and attempted
to stage an intervention. It didn't work, the guy could not see that things were not moving
along swimmingly even though she NEVER, EVER had sex with him. He ignore all our
dire warnings and wasted the next weeks with her. The religious girl (who never attended
services) waved good bye to him with her virtue still intact as the day that he arrived.

The guy was not socially skilled and didn't follow anyone's advice.

What's the lesson here? Many guys are not suited to pursuing FSUW. This is not for entry
level daters. Most guys will fail.

[Daveman]

It's definitely not clear cut, that's why I used 10 years as a rule of thumb for a guy who is
relatively socially skilled. A guy like myself who is tall, handsome, socially skilled and gets
the girl to fall head over hills in love can press his rule of thumb a bit.

Guys like the OP, need to subtract from the 10 years. Maybe a 2 or 3 year difference would
be his max. He won't do that of course so he will fail. This was never going to work for him,
his countless false assumptions, nutball theories, confidence level, lack of experience, and
inability to self assess.

Exactly this. I think any guy can learn to be a dating/women fall in love master - shooting.. Er.... With those women clearly in his barrel. Guys like you and others have waaaaay more fish in the barrel. And, when you are highly atrractive to a specific woman, you can push and break more rules more more often than guys with fewer options.

I have no idea whether anyone here will ve successful, but at least the info is here if the want to learn how to get the great girl. What they do after that is up to them, but getting thw girl is so easy it's shooting fish in a barrel.

Warning Story alert!!
Warning Story alert!!
Warning Story alert!! 
This is where I tell a long only somewhat related story about an event from the past.
This is where I tell a long only somewhat related story about an event from the past.
This is where I tell a long only somewhat related story about an event from the past.

If you are still reading, you've been warned and any complaining about me waxing
historically will be met with deaf ears and stone cold indifference to your plight.

There was a guy from a different forum, his so called girl friend locked him in his apartment
(for his safety) and disappeared on New Years eve. She came back the next day let him out
telling him that she was called back to work (ON NEW YEARS EVE IN THE FSU) and was
unavailable until noon or so finally letting him out on New Years day.

Myself and others got the guy into a chatroom while he was still in the FSU and attempted
to stage an intervention. It didn't work, the guy could not see that things were not moving
along swimmingly even though she NEVER, EVER had sex with him. He ignore all our
dire warnings and wasted the next weeks with her. The religious girl (who never attended
services) waved good bye to him with her virtue still intact as the day that he arrived.

The guy was not socially skilled and didn't follow anyone's advice.

What's the lesson here? Many guys are not suited to pursuing FSUW. This is not for entry
level daters. Most guys will fail.

There is a story here as well about a guy who either got locked in his apartment or the ladywanted to. Not on NYE though. What and idiot. Some guys are indeed cluelessly self sabotaging to a retarded level.

[krimster2]

the psychology of value

supply/demand ratio determines value
wanna raise your value, go some place with a short supply of your "phenotype"...

no matter what kinda "goober" you are, there are places in the world where you'll stand out because of the contrast between you and the locals
and I ain't talkin about somalia, but Uzbekistan for example, or costa rica
in both places I've met beautiful women who were super happy to do whatever favor I asked of them
WHY? because I am unique foreigner in a world of sameness to them and "different" ALWAYS captures someone's attention for better of for worse

once I get and keep their attention, I know how to give a woman good vibes by using sincere flattery and appreciation which in these cultures is also really rare for women to encounter
and aftr awhile, when she let's down her defenses, it's not all she's gonna let down...
nudge...nudge...wink...wink...

if you white boyz from Anglo Saxon land goto a non-anglo saxon land
your brand has some cache in most places

latin and uzbeck kultur is very fleible for anglos
you re treated deferentially, especially in smaller places, and especially if you have an outgoing personality with a lot of interests that you could share with a woman
to them you would be a really unique person, if you had all the right qualities on top of being a blanco diablo

what's cool...
if you get into aggressive beefs with the local males, the wimmin will be on your side and will be all protective towards you
I LOVE that!!!!
it makes me want to snuggle in between their breasts, it feels SO NICE, so safe.... mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[Trenchcoat]

Even in Scandinavian countries like Denmark a dude with brown hair can still stand out from all the blonds. Likely not as much as it used to be decades ago due to influx of migrants but there is still a high amount of blondes in Scandinavian countries my guess would still be predominant. When I was in Denmark a decade or so ago I got some looks of interest from the local blonde girls, not saying it would necessarily translate into a relationship but I guess even though there are a fair amount of tourists there guys with brown hair are more of a scarcity whereas elsewhere in the world they are more the norm.

Age gap I think can be a bit of a random issue. A lot of guys I think hear someone say it's possible to get into a relationship with a girl twenty years younger in the FSU and think it's a goer and start messaging girls online with that age gap or more. I did a bit of that, my impression though is that most girls the world over don't really want an old dude but a few girls the world over may do. There's always the case for the big stag and young girls who are very attracted to that, not necessarily an old rich guy just an older guy who looks like he is in a superior role, established and can handle just about any sh*t in life. I'm not saying they are after grandad but a guy who likely still has some good years ahead of him and can go about stuff confidently.

I think to some girls there is a great draw in getting with an established tree as it were that has already grown and is strong rather than a much younger sapling and waiting, waiting, waiting for it to grow. Most girls don't mind waiting and seeing the growth occur in a guy around their age but sone already want it done already. They want to be able to go to an established older guy and say, 'Can we do this, that, whatever' and him already have a good steer on actioning it rather than a younger guy being unsure on it all or guessing and making many minor mistakes. So I think to a few girls they would rather go for an older guy who has what they see as greater status in society already than a younger guy who doesn't. I don't think such girls are very numerous but I think there are a few around. Really takes being there in person to see a girl's eyes light up in the right way than random messaging of girls on dating sites I feel. Not saying such relationships would be sound but think for a few girls there can be interest in the older guys there. Though maybe that's just my dumb thinking.

[krimster2]

denmark has the best and cheapest food in northern europe, even germans go there to shop...deliciososo
danish and german are pretty similar so I get the gist of danish

Trench, Danamark has a very high minimum wage (one of the terrible evils of socialism)
your income is roughly equal to what an entry-level burger flipper will receive in Copenhagen
so do ya think Danamark is a good place for you to look?

good thing you brexited, cuz for sure they was all gonna leave Danamark and go to the midlands for the sunnier weather and porridge

[Trenchcoat]

denmark has the best and cheapest food in northern europe, even germans go there to shop...deliciososo
danish and german are pretty similar so I get the gist of danish

Trench, Danamark has a very high minimum wage (one of the terrible evils of socialism)
your income is roughly equal to what an entry-level burger flipper will receive in Copenhagen
so do ya think Danamark is a good place for you to look?

good thing you brexited, cuz for sure they was all gonna leave Danamark and go to the midlands for the sunnier weather and porridge

Money is the usual reason people want to migrate to the UK. Denmark may have a higher minimum wage but it also has higher taxation to pay for free state uni education and the rest. Copenhagen is a nice place to live, I went there on holiday once, but it likely has the same issues as the rest of the western world, women competing against men and the dating scene being f*cked as a result. I know, I know, you're a rich guy and girls drop their knickers on sight no matter where you go in the world, but for us everyday mortal beings with as not so great economic situation we don't have that kind of effect.

Problem is western women want to compete against men to greedily get their hands on whatever money they can earn then complain that they're are no good men around - by which they mean wealthy guys. They just don't figure that in competing against men in the workplace and demanding equal pay they are causing their to be fewer of the wealthy guys they want around. They're essentially p*ssing on their own parade then complaining about the results. Decades ago we used to have a similar situation to the FSU has now of men being paid a good third or so more than women. That made most women look up to most men. Now on equal pay women don't look up to many men at all the ones that are equal to them they generally aren't bothered about and if anything see them as competition.

So whether in the UK or Denmark it's much the same deal. That deal only improves once a western guy flies over to the FSU, Russia, Moldova, Belarus, Ukraine (when we could) etc. It kind of pees me off that I was born when I was right on the tip of all that rubbish kicking off here in the west. Basically western governments saying 'hey we have enough people, we don't do many going forward, right let's screw up the dating world and increase productivity through swamping the labour market with women overly eager to grab a few quid for themselves and not realise they are being done over in the process'.

In the UK Budget today, free childcare and before & after school care to get more women into the workplace. Estimated it will get about 1 million women extra into the UK workforce. Another recent example of how UK guys get screwed over by their country. Same all across the western world of course.

[Boethius]

Women have always worked, Trench.  My great grandmother, born before the turn of the twentieth century, managed an entire farm.  My other great grandmother worked in Boston during the winter months.  So your continual harping about women working is sorely misplaced. 


The vast majority of WM are married to WW.  About 60% of West European women are married.  The rest have mostly been married and divorced.  The rate is lower in North America, but here, a lot of couples live common law.  Your notion that giving women options in the workforce somehow results in less available women is, frankly, ridiculous, and is more about your own insecurities than any reality.  Women stil earn 3/4 of what men do, and this is about your own failures, rather than what women do.  You are a misogynist, and until you deal with that, any relationship you have, no matter where, is bound to fail.  I certainly hope you can find someone, as everyone deserves love and happiness.  However, you aren't going to find that, particularly not with an East European woman.  They don't put up with cr@p.


Incidentally, after your last diatribe, I looked at fdating for available women in the UK.  Most of them were not overweight, and most were attractive.  I assume the same holds for other dating sites.  The reality is, the issue is YOU, not the UK, or the "Western world".

[Trenchcoat]

Women have always worked, Trench.  My great grandmother, born before the turn of the twentieth century, managed an entire farm.  My other great grandmother worked in Boston during the winter months.  So your continual harping about women working is sorely misplaced. 


The vast majority of WM are married to WW.  About 60% of West European women are married.  The rest have mostly been married and divorced.  The rate is lower in North America, but here, a lot of couples live common law.  Your notion that giving women options in the workforce somehow results in less available women is, frankly, ridiculous, and is more about your own insecurities than any reality.  Women stil earn 3/4 of what men do, and this is about your own failures, rather than what women do.  You are a misogynist, and until you deal with that, any relationship you have, no matter where, is bound to fail.  I certainly hope you can find someone, as everyone deserves love and happiness.  However, you aren't going to find that, particularly not with an East European woman.  They don't put up with cr@p.


Incidentally, after your last diatribe, I looked at fdating for available women in the UK.  Most of them were not overweight, and most were attractive.  I assume the same holds for other dating sites.  The reality is, the issue is YOU, not the UK, or the "Western world".

Yes, women have always worked, mostly, but not as in going out for 'careers' it was more to supplement the man's income, just like in the FSU. The man earned more as he was looked upon as having to provide for a family as a long term commitment. That could end up feeling like slavery after several decades at it, modern women just don't get that.

Fdate in the UK varies, not that may women for the UK on there. Some of those that are, are from the FSU, Ukraine, etc. The women gat seem to be from the UK, sure some are slimmer, not all are fat, some are icebergs being greater in the bottom than at the top so the photos can conceal it a bit. Some UK women just have bad makeup jobs, that's an increasingly common sight in the UK today, girls badly overdoing makeup, literally can't see the person under all the makeup. Fake tans, fake eyelashes, bad way too bright lipstick, all sorts of powers plastered on, etc, etc.

[Boethius]

Wrong.  Were teaching and nursing not "careers"?


Women in the FSU open businesses at greater rates than do men.  There are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of women with careers comparable to women in the West. 


Sure, in Ukraine and Russia - lands of the duck lips - women don't overdo the make up.

[Trenchcoat]

Wrong.  Were teaching and nursing not "careers"?


Women in the FSU open businesses at greater rates than do men.  There are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of women with careers comparable to women in the West. 


Sure, in Ukraine and Russia - lands of the duck lips - women don't overdo the make up.

Yeah I notice that also lol:

http://fdating.com/profile?id=5066913;

UK women still look far worse on the whole I think though

[Daveman]

...

Sure, in Ukraine and Russia - lands of the duck lips - women don't overdo the make up.

I thought the west is the land of carp lips and eastern europe the  land of Easter Island forehead models...or something like that.

[krimster2]

the average goober should steer very clear of Russia and Ukraine right now...
but OTOH other FSU states are "very nice" place to allow your gonads to express themselves
but you homeys should learn NOT to act like Russian men bahave (I call 'em "horn dogs")
be an example of an "innocent abroad"
a  fun seeker

in all the FSU major cities there's a small university educated english speaking group of wimmin
if you have any kind of artistic or musical talent
this is your ticket to female gazes from this group
they will be on you like flies on you-know-what

some of these exotic eurasian breeds have high cheek bones, light eyes and hair
and the nicest boobs and perfectly toned bodies that you will EVER see ANYWHERE!
and with them, you can say "bitch, make me a sanwhich" and they'll make ya one straight away
haha
just kidding, I always say please first!!

[BC]

Though maybe that's just my dumb thinking.

You seem to get caught up in that.  Maybe try a bit of doing.

Instead of obsessing over far-off lands, go ask a girl out for a date. Any girl you don't have to pay more than dinner for.

If she says no, fine. Try with another.

When was the last time you asked a girl out?