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Author Topic: Time for some Humor!!  (Read 551242 times)

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Offline Hammer2722

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Re: Explaining Humor
« Reply #3075 on: April 18, 2022, 04:45:02 PM »
At first, I couldn't figure this out.

Then I thought it meant, since Russia has universal health care, it will cost its government a lot to take care of the wounded Russian soldiers.

At second thought, maybe it's that America spends a lot on military rather than health care, which serves us better in times of conflict.

Anyway, jokes are not supposed to be funny if explanations needed; but maybe I'm the only dense one!!  :-)


ML, I believe its because we won't need universal healthcare.....
every ship can be a minesweeper at least once...

Offline Boethius

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Re: Explaining Humor
« Reply #3076 on: April 18, 2022, 06:44:34 PM »
At first, I couldn't figure this out.

Then I thought it meant, since Russia has universal health care, it will cost its government a lot to take care of the wounded Russian soldiers.

At second thought, maybe it's that America spends a lot on military rather than health care, which serves us better in times of conflict.

Anyway, jokes are not supposed to be funny if explanations needed; but maybe I'm the only dense one!!  :-)


It means that, unlike other Western countries, the US doesn't spend much in tax dollars on healthcare, so no universal healthcare, as exists in all other Western nations.  That money is spent on the military.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline Jumper1

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #3077 on: April 19, 2022, 10:45:52 PM »
....

Offline Jumper1

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #3078 on: April 19, 2022, 10:46:55 PM »
.....

Offline Jumper1

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #3079 on: April 19, 2022, 10:47:49 PM »
....

Offline Jumper1

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #3080 on: April 19, 2022, 10:49:11 PM »
....

Offline ML

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How Einstein did it
« Reply #3081 on: April 20, 2022, 07:22:29 AM »
Great idea.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline Nightwish

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #3082 on: April 22, 2022, 01:01:21 PM »
 :rolleyes:
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

Offline ML

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Who women will date
« Reply #3083 on: April 28, 2022, 09:42:06 AM »
Women won't date a guy who still lives with his mother.

But they will date a guy who still lives with his wife.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline ML

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Inappropriate shoes
« Reply #3084 on: April 28, 2022, 04:21:31 PM »
This woman doesn't seem to understand that by wearing shoes that don't match the rest of her outfit, men will only be looking at her shoes rather than her body.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Inappropriate shoes
« Reply #3085 on: April 29, 2022, 05:49:14 AM »
This woman doesn't seem to understand that by wearing shoes that don't match the rest of her outfit, men will only be looking at her shoes rather than her body.

She has feet?
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline Nightwish

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #3086 on: May 03, 2022, 02:02:40 AM »
Russia: WE HAVE A PROTOTYPE T-14 ARMATA TANK BEST IN WORLD WE ARE STRONGEST MILITARY FORCE!!1!!!!!1§11
Also Russia:
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

Offline Grumpy

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #3087 on: May 03, 2022, 07:27:22 PM »
http://i.imgur.com/2u9WmDn.jpg


Does any one else think of this song when they see a dis-attached turret?
« Last Edit: May 03, 2022, 07:30:07 PM by Grumpy »
Good women are not cheap
Cheap women are not good
(but they can be a lot of fun)

Offline Nightwish

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #3088 on: May 04, 2022, 03:28:41 AM »
this will never stop being funny
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

Offline Grumpy

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #3089 on: May 11, 2022, 10:06:58 AM »
Good women are not cheap
Cheap women are not good
(but they can be a lot of fun)

Online 2tallbill

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Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #3090 on: May 15, 2022, 10:14:04 AM »
A recent study showed that Humans eat more banana's than
monkeys. It must be true, I can't remember the last time
that I ate a monkey.
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #3091 on: May 15, 2022, 10:44:58 AM »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline Grumpy

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #3092 on: July 05, 2022, 06:53:21 PM »
Vladimir Putin suffers a stroke during the invasion of Ukraine and goes into a coma.
After several years, he wakes up and is allowed to leave the hospital, walking out onto the streets of Moscow.
Several years of being in a vegetative state have apparently taken their toll on the Russian leader, because no one recognizes him.
He decides to walk into a bar and orders himself one stiff drink, and then another.
After downing the two double vodkas, he asks the bartender:
”What year is it?”
Somewhat taken aback by the question, the bartender responds: “2025.”
”Did we win the war?” Putin asks.
”We won,” the bartender responds, pouring himself and Putin another shot, and clinking the glasses. “To our glorious victory,” the bartender says as they both down the shots.
”And Crimea, is it still ours?” Putin asks.
”Still ours,” the bartender responds.
“And Kiev, is it ours?”
”Of course,” the bartender responds.
This makes the Russian leader smile. He asks the bartender how much he owes for the drinks.
”100 hryvnia,” the bartender responds.
Good women are not cheap
Cheap women are not good
(but they can be a lot of fun)

Offline tfcrew

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #3093 on: July 05, 2022, 07:35:56 PM »
 Headline----British government forms July 4 committee to investigate the root cause of the American insurrection.
 
 Law enforcement in the age of dinosaurs...triceracops.

 A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.
At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket.
 They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same chapel and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying the casket.
As they are walking the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!" 

A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic's eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning. Eventually, a coherent voice emanates, saying, "Granddaughter? Are you there?"
The customer, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds, "Grandmother? Is that you?"
 "Yes granddaughter, it's me."
 "It's really, really you, grandmother?", the woman repeats.
 "Yes, it's really me, granddaughter." The woman looks puzzled, "You're sure it's you, grandmother?" "Yes, granddaughter, I'm sure it's me."
The woman pauses a moment, "Grandmother, I have a question for you."
"Anything, my child."  "Grandmother, when did you learn to speak English?"
~There is no one more blind than those who refuse to see and none more deaf as those who will not listen~
~Think about the intelligence of the average person and then realize that half of the people are even more stupid than that~

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #3094 on: July 08, 2022, 02:53:05 PM »
Every girl is by, you just have to figure out if it's sexual or polar.
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online krimster2

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #3095 on: July 08, 2022, 03:23:41 PM »
Every gurl is also "BUY"!!!!!

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #3096 on: October 07, 2022, 04:54:42 PM »
Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist for the Miami Herald.
Colonoscopy Journal: 

My penis was in the Guinness book of world records.
Then the librarian told me to take it out.
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #3097 on: October 07, 2022, 05:38:25 PM »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline Grumpy

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #3098 on: October 30, 2022, 01:18:02 PM »
 Soon to be published: ”A Guide to Contemporary Russian Tanks & the Ukrainian Tractors that Pull Them”
Good women are not cheap
Cheap women are not good
(but they can be a lot of fun)

Online krimster2

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #3099 on: November 10, 2022, 06:47:49 PM »
too soon?

 

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